uhhhh dear jolkien rolkien r tolkien, this is the gayest thing iâve ever read, in my life,
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@forwrathforruin
uhhhh dear jolkien rolkien r tolkien, this is the gayest thing iâve ever read, in my life,

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The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies credits
wait just a fucking
You: Good morning!
Gandalf, an intellectual: Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?
LovelyâŠ
There is still hope
by ShizukaxxxSecret

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From The Languages of Tolkienâs Middle-Earth by Ruth S. Noel. Though I reject her âmakes one wonderâ comment entirely. That pun is frankly the crowning glory of the Silm.
Aragorn: I can avoid being seen if I wish
*later*
Legolas: Those birds from Dunland are coming!
Aragorn: *Throws self under a rock*
every time Rivendell has a council meeting itâs called an elrondez-vous
remember when Aragorn invented the skeleton war
peter jackson: i love all the descendants of the line of durin! thorin, kili and [reads smudged handwriting on hand] fettuccine

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AulĂ« and Yavanna (cause they kind of perplex me like theyâre that couple you know who have been married for decades but you d o n â t k n o w w h y)
I picture Yavanna as taller/bigger than her husband }:)Â
Someone: So what is your biggest fear?
Me: Peter Jackson is allowed to make a movie adaptation of the Silmarillion. All the characters are white dudes. There are 45 parts and still all the relevant plot is left out. LĂșthien is turned into Action Girl who will need saving during the climax. MĂźm is only there for comic relief. Feanor is shown 0.2 seconds during the prologue. Everybody who is not in the Lay of Leithian or the Narn gets erased. Somehow, Legolas is there.
I kind of want to see a story about an elf; tall, beautiful, clumsy as fuck, and an industrial worker who canât do archery to save themselves and swears all the time.
And I kind of want to see a story about a dwarf; short, robust, hairy, elegant, sweet, very refined and a lover of poetry whoâs never said a rude word in their life.
I just think it would be an interesting change of pace.
theyâre girlfriends
theyâre super fucking cute and i need more of this.
Gandalf did you realise that the transition from ranger to King of Gondor was a PRETTY FREAKING BIG ONE

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And then her heart changed, or at least she understood it; and the winter passed, and the sun shone upon her.
J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King (via persephinae)
It puzzles me when people cite LOTR as the standard of âsimpleâ or âpredictableâ or âblack and whiteâ fantasy. Because in my copy, the hero fails. Frodo chooses the Ring, and itâs only Gollumâs own desperation for it that inadvertently saves the day. The fate of the world, this whole blood-soaked war, all the millennia-old machinations of elves and gods, comes down to two addicts squabbling over their Precious, and that is precisely and powerfully Tolkienâs point.Â
And then the hero goes home, and finds home a smoking desolation, his neighbors turned on one another, that secondary villain no one finished off having destroyed Frodoâs last oasis not even out of evil so much as spite, and then that villain dies pointlessly, and then his killer dies pointlessly. The hero is left not with a cathartic homecoming, the story come full circle in another party; he is left to pick up the pieces of what was and what shall never be again.Â
And itâs not enough. The hero cannot heal, and so departs for the fabled western shores in what remains a blunt and bracing metaphor for death (especially given his aged companions). When Sam tells his family, âWell, Iâm backâ at the very end, it is an earned triumph, but the very fact that someone making it back qualifies as a triumph tells you what kind of story this is: one that is too honest to allow its characters to claim a clean victory over entropy, let alone evil.Â
âI canât recall the taste of food, nor the sound of water, nor the touch of grass. Iâm naked in the dark. Thereâs nothingâno veil between me and the wheel of fire. I can see him with my waking eyes.â
So whereâs this silly shallow hippie fever-dream Iâve heard so much about? It sounds like a much lesser story than the one that actually exists.
Honestly, when I finally finished LOTR I was vaguely *unsatisfied* because it *wasnât* what I was taught to expect.