just another girl

“You need to stop the bleeding.” Ellie's voice was becoming breathy; it was obvious she was in pain. 

“Fuck that,” you said. 

“Listen to me! Look at this.” She exposed her tattooed arm, showing her burned skin underneath. 

“That’s disgusting,” you mumbled. 

“This is a chemical burn I did myself. Underneath there was a bite. You need to believe me. Take me back to Jackson to Joel. He’ll tell you.” 

She extended her hand before you, showing how steady she was. You furrowed your brows and sighed. 

“I’ll keep this charged.” You showed her your gun, finally putting it away. 

She let out a shaky breath and lay down again. 

“Will I get infected if I touch that shit?” 

“I don’t think so.” 

“You think?” 

“You won’t. Hurry, please.” 

It was one of the first times you heard her asking for something, followed by a “please”. You stood and walked toward Ghost, reaching for your backpack and grabbing bandages and alcohol. You glanced at her over your shoulder; she was staring at the white sky, her eyes narrowed, her breathing unsteady, her cheeks flushed. You even took a moment to study her parted and dry lips. You sighed. What was wrong with you? 

“Okay, I need to press the wound.” You kneeled next to her, with a bandage in hand, pressing the wound immediately. You couldn’t help but notice that she was too skinny, maybe even more than last summer. You remembered seeing her in a tight T-shirt, her body toned; now she looked tiny. 

Ellie groaned underneath you and gripped your wrist with her left hand. 

“Fuckin shit,” she whispered. 

“How did you find out?” 

“About what?” 

“This.”

“Since I was a kid,” she said honestly, and you pressed harder. She tilted her head backward, the snow swallowing her hair. “I was bitten, and nothing happened. Then I found out I'm immune somehow.” 

“How?” 

“Shit, I don’t know.” She gripped you tighter. 

You remained silent, your head spinning with questions. 

“Does she know?” 

“Who?” 

“Cat! Fucking focus, Ellie.” 

“I’m fucking bleeding!” You pressed tighter. “At this point, you are just being a bitch.” She said, groaning. 

“So what? You were a bitch these past weeks, and I’m still saving your life, right?” 

“She doesn’t know. No one knows, except for Tommy, Maria, and Joel. And now you.” She glanced up at you, her eyes filled with honesty. 

“So what do I do? Cause I am definitely not touching that.” 

“No, there’s no time. Cat can’t know. Nor anyone.” 

You peeked over your shoulder and studied the black mess of bodies burned in the field, the last ones full of blood painting the snow. You clicked your tongue. 

“Fuck Ellie, I really hope this is true, because I don’t want to die like that.” You whispered and looked at her. 

After five minutes of your hands pressing her down, the blood finally stopped flowing. 

In silence, you helped her up. 

“Can you stand? I need to bandage you.” She nodded, holding herself steady with the help of your forearms. 

“I hate this.” 

“Not as much as I do, trust me. You are scaring the shit out of me.” 

And she noticed your trembling hands as they wrapped a bandage around her. Whenever you turned the fabric, your body swung in her direction, reaching around and working on her waist. Ellie couldn’t help but stare at your concentrated face. 

“You are not so bad.” She admitted in a soft voice. 

Your hands stopped, frozen for a brief second; you peeked at her and looked away almost immediately. 

“You are delirious; you’ve clearly lost a lot of blood.” You chuckled and ended up. You grabbed her arm and walked her back to Ghost. “Stuck again riding back together, huh?”

“Don’t get used to this. ” She joked in a raspy voice as you helped her up. She groaned and dragged her body on the saddle. 

·꙳⋆𖢔𖠰𖢔·꙳⋆

On the way back to Jackson, Cat seemed unsteady, as if she suspected something, even though you were riding Ghost with Ellie sitting in front of you, revolver in hand. 

“Sorry about this…” You whispered in her ear. Ellie just nodded and tried to keep her body steady on the saddle, every once in a while swinging forward, her eyes growing heavy. 

“We need to ride faster,” Cat said next to you. “She’s not okay.” 

You nodded. 

“But I can’t do that with Shimmer behind.” 

“I can take her. We split ways, and you take her faster to Jackson.” 

As you agreed, you rushed down the valley, an hour-long ride from Jackson, on a fast ride. Ellie was growing heavy before you, her back pressed to your chest and her head tilted backward. She was probably unconscious, which made you more nervous, hoping that every single word that came out of her lips was true. 

The landscape began to change: roads and cabins spread around, replacing the white snow and tall pines hunched over from the most recent snowstorm. 

When you reached Jackson, you used the front door since it was an emergency. The people at the gates opened up immediately. And you galloped in on Ghost, yelling so people would clear the road. You finally stopped at the clinic, and the volunteers were already running out after hearing the noises. 

The next couple of minutes were so chaotic because you tried to stop a doctor from examining her. 

“No! Bring in her tutor. Joel has to be here.” You blocked the entrance to the bed Ellie was lying on. 

“We cannot do that. She’s lost too much blood.” 

“I don’t care. I won’t move until Joel, Tommy, or even Maria is here.” 

“That’s enough; get her out of here.” 

The volunteers, who were his apprentices, walked up to you and restrained your arms. 

“Don’t fucking touch me!” 

Just as they were about to drag you out of the room, Joel showed up panting, his hands pressed in the doorframe. 

“What the hell is going on?”

“Joel, I need to talk to you alone.” You said desperately, panic reading all over your face. 

“Out.” 

He said, and the room was cleared in a second. The doctor walked past you, sulking.

“Joel, she was bitten.” You stumbled toward him, your hands up, as if you were trying to appear non-offensive. “She said crazy shit. I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean this to happen.” You started tearing up, finally realizing that you were probably handing out the most horrendous news to a father.  

He didn’t move, just narrowed his eyes at you. 

“What’d she say?” He asked, for someone facing the worst-case scenario for their child, he seemed pretty calm. 

You blinked some tears and lowered your arms with a sniffle. 

“She said she can’t get infected.” You whispered, pressing a hand to your temple. “That — that she’s immune.” 

“Okay.” 

·꙳⋆𖢔𖠰𖢔·꙳⋆

The white light of the office’s clinic was blinding. You were having a headache while a volunteer worked on a small wound on your arm. 

“Thank you.” Said Maria as he ended up with you and walked outside. “How are you feeling?” She asked, studying your small figure wrapped in a warm blanket. 

“I don’t know.” You admitted. 

“It’s completely normal. You’ve been through a lot these days.” She reassured you, sitting across. “We need to talk about Ellie.” You gave her a small nod, looking down, unsure of how to feel. “She grew up in a FEDRA quarantine zone, and the reason was that the fireflies knew she was immune. They tried to protect her. That’s how Joel ended up being his tutor.” You blinked at the sudden information. “Now, they are both trying to have normal lives down here in Jackson.” She continued carefully, looking up at Tommy, who was leaning against the wall, hands shoved in his pockets. 

“Okay.” You said in a tiny voice. 

“We need to ask you a favor.” Said Tommy in his southern accent. “Can you keep all of this a secret? We know it’s shocking, but this is about Ellie’s safety.” 

“Safety?” 

“That’s right.” 

By the look on their faces, you suspected that they were not going to give you more details, but they seemed preoccupied. As your eyes studied them, you finally sighed. 

“Sure. I won’t tell anyone.” 

·꙳⋆𖢔𖠰𖢔·꙳⋆

You and Cat spent the night in the clinic as per Jackson's protocol; you shared a room with four beds, the other two vacant. Night was spreading through the window, and Cat pulled the curtain between the two beds. You turned your head to see her standing, frowning, but concern painting her features. 

“What’s wrong?” You whispered. 

“Do you think she’s okay?” She said, hand still glued to the minty curtain. “They won’t let me see her.” Her voice cracked. 

“Hey.” You shifted in bed and used your forearms to sit halfway up. “She’s fine. Joel’s with her.” In the dim light, you could see that Cat was already crying. 

In the middle of the silence, you thought that Cat had many faces: she was a thoug tall girl with both her arms and neck tattooed, but she was also so kind and girly behind that facade. And now, seeing her hunched, clinging to a clinic curtain, crying in the dark, looking for a stranger’s comfort, made you realize that Ellie was not a bad person. Maybe she was just like Cat. A lot of people loved her and worried about her. 

“Come here.” You sat fully in the bed, your white hospital gown showing the shape of your body. Cat noticed when you patted the free spot next to you. 

She dragged her feet and sat, slowly leaning her forehead against your shoulder. You embraced her softly, and that ripped whimpers from her lips.  

·꙳⋆𖢔𖠰𖢔·꙳⋆

The next day, Cat and you dressed in the room, changing into your patrol clothing. The fabric in your jeans was stiff from the blood; you pulled your nose into a grimace and put them on. As you straightened your body, you accidentally caught Cat’s naked back, which was also covered in tattoos. 

Sick. 

You grinned and put on your shirt and hoodie. Cat finished with her jacket on, her weapons put into holsters around her legs. 

“So,” she began awkwardly, “figured they still won’t let me see her.” She rubbed her palms on the jacket. “Thanks for yesterday.” 

You zipped up your jacket, then slipped your hands to your nape, pulling your hair out of the layers of clothing. 

“Don’t worry, anytime.” You said with a soft and sincere smile. She was so kind. 

“See you around?”

“See you around.” 

·꙳⋆𖢔𖠰𖢔·꙳⋆

The strangest thing about your relationship with Ellie was how you were never certain about what attracted you to her. She was magnetic, and yet, with a shitty attitude. But something behind the green of her eyes seemed off, as if she was holding back from spilling words that she would eventually regret. 

It was odd to you to notice how you dressed up slowly, so Cat would leave before. It was strange to tell how tight your chest felt last night, that it kept you from sleeping, until Cat pulled the curtain. 

You felt like a stranger living in your body when you had to accept the fact that your feet took you in the direction of Ellie’s room, walking past the doctor, who clearly said nothing to you and allowed you to stand at the door for long seconds before finally knocking. 

“Com’in.” Joel’s voice was deep and nasal, as if he were sleeping. 

You turned the knob and revealed a sunlit room, Joel sitting legs spread in a chair next to the bed, his hair highlighted by the sun entering through the window behind him. 

You closed the door behind you, picking at the loose skin on your fingers. 

“Hi.” 

“Hey, kid.” 

“How is she?” You whispered, finally daring to steal a glance in Ellie’s direction. 

She was lying flat in the bed, her hair completely down and spread over the white pillow. You had never seen her like that, eyes closed and completely defenseless, lips back to their normal color, and the freckles seemed inoffensive, unlike other times when you thought they would come off her face and attack you. 

“I’m fine.” She responded with her eyes still closed. 

Your eyes widened, expecting her to be sleeping. 

“She’ll live.” Added Joel with a chuckle. He stood up, stretching his legs. “I’ll get some tea.” He stated and left the room, the silence growing bigger. 

The first sound was the sheets rubbing on Ellie’s body as she shifted, her eyes opening and looking in your direction. 

“Hey.” She even used your last name. You raised an eyebrow. 

“Hey.” 

You felt like an idiot standing in the middle of the room, just looking at her as if she could break. You had to rip yourself out of the trance and sighed, beginning to walk around the bed to take Joel’s now empty seat. Ellie never ripped her glance off you. 

“How’s the bite?” 

“Hurts like shit.” She chuckled. 

“Don’t even want to imagine.” You admitted, your hands rubbing in your lap. Ellie stared down, noticing the bloodstain. 

“I— “ she trailed off, looking up at the ceiling, “I want to thank you. For — everything.” 

“You would’ve done the same for me— or Cat.” 

Ellie glanced back at you with a look you couldn’t place. 

“Well, I’m not sure I would fight the doctors for you.” 

The pause settled heavily on your face. Your expression changed, suddenly realizing that she had found out you were violent toward anyone touching her. You flushed red and clapped a hand over your mouth. 

Ellie burst into laughter, a sound so unfamiliar to you that it felt strange in your stomach. 

The light particles dancing in the room, your face hidden behind your hurt fingers, and Ellie’s auburn hair loose were something you would never forget since that day. 

⋆꙳•❅‧₊⋆‧❆₊⋆⋆꙳•❅‧₊⋆‧❆₊⋆

Ellie knew you had a really close friend, one she wouldn’t want to admit to having seen leave Joel’s house every once in a while. Her name was Jackie. You were always with her, hanging around and having fun at the Tipsy Bison, drinking beer and vodka, laughing a little too loud, until she and Joel came in. Jackie would go quiet and blushy, while you would make sure Ellie saw you roll your eyes at her. She would stare at you for so long and walk past. 

But Jackie noticed little things you were too busy deciding to ignore. Like how Ellie would try to burn holes in the back of your head with her eyes while she drank a glass of whiskey next to Joel, standing at the bar. Or how she would look around after realizing she had been staring for too long, to see if anyone noticed. 

“Jackie, that friend of yours, is she good at keeping secrets?” Would ask her, Joel, while they both watched TV at his house. 

“Mh?” 

“You know, the short one.” Joel would clear his throat, pretending not to know your name. 

“Nobody knows we are seeing each other, Joel.” She would assure him, sliding closer to him and roaming her hands to distract him. 

“I just get this feeling that Ellie is paying close attention to her.” He would say absently, his eyes glued to the screen as his hands would take Jackie’s wrists. 

But Jackie wouldn’t tell you that because you wouldn’t even talk about Ellie. She knew that whenever you liked someone, you would talk about them nonstop. 

·꙳⋆𖢔𖠰𖢔·꙳⋆

During a patrol campfire, all the young adults were there, including the blonde girl you kissed once at a party. There was a group of guys playing records on an old stereo, the music echoing in the small woods at the very end of Jackson. 

Ellie couldn’t help but notice when you arrived, a pair of dark blue flared jeans hugging your waist, a black blouse showing off your cleavage under an open jacket. You applied dark eyeshadow that day, accentuating the color of your eyes and the shape of your lips with a dirty brown lipstick. She held back a growl, a desperate one. She really hated you. 

“Hey!” Alex approached you and Jackie, pulling you specifically in a tight hug. You received it and held her back. 

“Hey, to you, Alex,” you purred. Perfect, now you were going to hit on the fuckgirl of Jackson if there was someone she disliked even more, that was Alex, another lesbian who was so problematic that every single queer —and non-queer— girl had slept with. 

As the night went on, she realized you were there only because Alex had invited you. That didn’t mean you didn’t know about the event; she just told you to come with her because you usually skipped the campfires. 

Ellie was so annoyed and couldn’t help but notice that you were eating, laughing, and drinking a little too much. She felt so uncomfortable in her own skin that it made her conscious of the jeans she was wearing, a pair that might have been too tight on her legs, and a baggy hoodie that might not have covered all her skin. 

“Hey, you okay, dude?” Jesse plopped right beside her, on the other puff nearby. “You seem quiet tonight.” 

“It’s nothing”. She answered, then kept picking up branches, crunching them, and throwing them into the fire. “It’s just too noisy,” and she glared in your direction, where you were talking to some people who were friends with Alex. 

“You really don’t like her, huh?” Jesse took a sip of his beer, glancing in your direction, eyeing how much of a tease you were, the blouse hugging your perfectly toned body from the workout. 

“What made you think otherwise?” 

“Well, you know Dina, and I had this stupid bet.” he was drunk. He was talking too much, and Ellie knew, so she remained silent. “… We were pretty sure you liked her. We did a bet on how long it would take you to kiss her and even messed up the patrol pairings.” He laughed sheepishly. 

“Are you kidding me?” She went so serious again. Lowkey, she already knew, but this seemed like the perfect excuse to make a scene she had been holding back for so long. She watched you eat some chips. “Unfucking believable,” she whispered and stood up, shoving her hands into her pockets and storming away. 

As she passed next to you, Ellie couldn’t help but glare down at Alex, her shoulders straight and her chin up. Alex noticed but rolled her eyes, her grip on you tightening. You turned your head and, for a brief second, caught Ellie’s eye with an expression you couldn’t read fully. 

Before you could think, your body reacted and walked away, leaving Alex’s arm hanging. 

“Hey, Williams!” You jogged after her. “Are you leaving already? I was hoping we could talk, you know…” 

“Leave me the fuck alone.” 

“I just— " You found your breath caught in your throat. Man, she was fast. “I wanted to say I'm sorry.” Ellie stopped in her tracks, the campfire and the party already a dim light behind you both. 

She turned around and couldn’t help but get a glimpse of the silhouette of your body, curvy, strong, healthy, and so secure. It made her nauseous. 

“For what?” She stepped closer. “For being so fucking hypocritical? For forcing everyone to like you? For trying so fucking hard on everyone?” Every word was shot with a step closer until her nose was almost brushing your face. She could see you tense up. 

“No— what?” You studied her face. She was angry, her brows furrowed, and her lips pulled in a grimace. “Ellie, I just needed to say that I know I was rude— “ 

“I don’t care,” she cut you off mid-sentence. 

“What is wrong with you?!” you finally snapped. “You act like you are super mysterious and yet you keep staring at me like you want to fucking devour me.” You stepped up and bumped your chest against hers, trying to intimidate her as well. 

And it seemed to work, because Ellie suddenly rolled over onto her shoulders, hiding her chest, and stepped back. Rage now escalated in her eyes. 

“Just— leave me the fuck alone,” she spat the words so slowly and low that you didn’t push anymore. 

You let her walk back to her house alone in the middle of the night. You stood there for a second, easing your breathing, trying not to look so angry. You went back to Alex until you finally calmed down. 

That night, you allowed her to fuck you, and Ellie threw up as soon as she got to her garage. 

·꙳⋆𖢔𖠰𖢔·꙳⋆

As days went by, you didn’t even bother to look for her; you were so pissed off that you started ignoring her because you felt bad for trying to be friends and making a fool of yourself. She needed to figure her shit out. 

Most of the time on patrols, you were assigned with Jackie; others with people you hardly knew; a couple of times with Jesse; and once you went out to check the perimeter with Joel. 

You were thankful that it was a quick ride on the horses. He seemed eager to finish as soon as possible, avoiding any personal topics. You chuckled when you realized he was giving himself away, making it painfully obvious he was sleeping with Jackie. 

But all of a sudden, he called your name as you rode behind him. It caught you off guard, and your head snapped back toward him. You could see his broad shoulders under the flannel shirt, tense, but something felt vulnerable. 

“That kiddo ain’t good with words.” He said. 

His voice felt heavy in the air, and the sound of Ghost’s footsteps on the snow echoed more loudly. 

“I’ve noticed.” You said after making a humming noise with your throat. 

“Be kind, please.” He said sincerely, almost painfully, to your heart. 

“Sure.” 

The ride was coming to an end, and the atmosphere felt different in a good way. You felt like you could forgive Ellie at any time, for Joel, at least. He was a good man, from what you had heard through Jackie and the folk in Jackson. 

And in the end, he was just a dad’s girl worried about Ellie. You understood that very well. 

The gates were already open when you arrived, and, in a silence of complicity, you reached the stables. Jackie was already there. You waved and smiled, and she pretended to be waiting for you. 

“Tipsy Bison tonight?” She asked loud enough for Joel to hear. 

“Count me in!” You answered as you hopped down from Ghost, giving the reins to the guy from the stables. 

But the second you set foot in the Tipsy Bison later that night, there were Ellie, Jesse, and, of course, Dina. As soon as the door swung open, the three of them looked in your direction. And it was Ellie’s expression that always made you get in a bad mood. 

You sighed and walked down the bar with Jackie next to you. Dina waved, and Jesse nodded in your direction, but Ellie just stood there, just watching as usual. 

You gave Dina a tight smile, not even showing teeth, and just ordered your drink, while Jackie was chatting with the bartender. You felt a shift in the ambiance and realized Ellie was next to you. 

“Don’t be a burden.” She said, you turned your head, glaring up at her. 

“Huh?” 

“I’ll see you tomorrow morning at the stables. We are being sent away for a long patrol, and we need to get ammo down the road. Joel asked me to tell you.” She explained quickly, rolling her eyes, one foot leaning against the railing under the bar. 

“He could’ve asked me directly.” You answered, pulling your drink toward you as the bartender served it. You sipped it, completely aware that Ellie was staring again. 

“Well, he didn’t. Don’t be late.” 

·꙳⋆𖢔𖠰𖢔·꙳⋆

That morning, you skipped the eyeliner and braided your hair, very aware that you would probably spend the night outside the walls. You were the first to reach the stables that morning; Joel and Tommy were already there. 

“Morning.” You said as you reached for the revolver and loaded it. Joel side-eyed you, noticing how quickly you did that. 

“G’morning. I suppose Ellie told you about today’s role.” You nodded. “Good, good.” 

Ellie and Cat entered the place, talking softly to each other. You raised an eyebrow, noticing Ellie playing with her hands and the corners of her mouth pulled up in a small smile. 

“Okay, girls,” Tommy said, signaling for everyone to gather. “We need fast people, and you three are agile; we are running low on gas, so we need you to go down the furthest road, near the gas station, and see what you can get us.” 

“This’ll probably be a one-day trip. Be careful.” Joel continued, handing you three sleeping bags each. You sighed and accepted it. “Ellie is in charge. Do as she says.” 

“Of course.” You mumbled and arranged the sleeping bag with your backpack. 

Why on fucking earth would they just choose the most problematic trio for a mission? They had to be joking. Fuck me. Your thoughts were running everywhere, but you had your mind set; you wouldn’t be a pain in the ass. 

“Let’s get this over with.” Said Ellie, pointing her head toward the gates. 

You left Jackson in your horses and rode all day, now and then stopping to clear the road of the infected. Whenever Ellie, who was at the head of the road, spotted a runner, she would call your name loudly. 

You dropped to the ground as silently as you could and sneaked around the runner, piercing its throat with your knife and killing it stealthily. 

“You are slow.” She said in her authoritative voice. 

“What?” You raised your hands and dropped them to your sides, the knife dripping with blood on the floor. 

“Cat could’ve taken it down in less time. You need to be faster.” She said, pulling on Shimmer’s reins and passing next to you to keep going. 

You scoffed but refused to look at Cat; you didn’t want to know what expression she was wearing right now. 

By the time you reached the last checkpoint before the gas station, Ellie stopped Shimmer next to the cabin. 

“Cat, sign us in. We should probably rest up here; we are losing light since it’s winter.” 

Cat entered the cabin, leaving you both alone outside. You stared down the road and back from where you came, making sure no one else was around. 

Ellie hopped down from Shimmer as Cat stepped outside. 

“Done. And there’s plenty of room for the three of us.” 

Ellie nodded and looked in your direction. 

“You heard her.” 

You breathed in slowly, trying to control your temper. You hated how entitled she was acting to impress Cat. 

“Yeah, coming.” You said through gritted teeth. 

Ellie had noticed from your brief interactions that you had an iron expression whenever you didn’t like something. It made her curious to watch you struggle to keep your composure, your facial skin tensing, your left eyebrow rising involuntarily, and the tendons in your neck visible. It was obvious you were keeping your thoughts to yourself. 

She chuckled under her breath, shaking her head as she took off her gloves and walked into the cabin, Cat next to her. 

For the rest of the night, you tried your best to stay on the sidelines. You had brought a Discman, which you immediately started playing in the corner you picked for your sleeping bag. You lay and closed your eyes, very aware that you wouldn’t be able to sleep, but you preferred that to talking to Ellie or Cat. 

After a few minutes, you felt something cold on your arm. You opened your eyes, and Ellie stared down at you, rifle in hand, to poke you. You took off the earpieces and played pop music. She grimaced visibly at the sound. 

“Be of some use and get wood. We need to eat.” 

She turned around and left. You were growing impatient. It seemed like you had to do everything while they just enjoyed the honeymoon. 

You leaned on your elbows, looking around, and caught Cat’s eye. 

“I can come with you.” She said and stood to get her coat. 

You did the same, stepping outside with a rusty axe you found near the sign-up table. 

“Don’t mind her; she’s mostly moody.” Cat walked next to you, kicking snow out of the way. 

“You act differently around her.” You stated, looking at her. She grinned nervously. 

“Oh? Do I?” She scratched the side of her face. 

“Do you still like her?” Your question came out flat, piercing. 

“No! No way.” Cat stuttered and stopped in her tracks. “Wait, how do you know?” 

“She told me. But she used the word ex-girlfriend.” That was not technically true, but you were already mad. 

Cat didn’t answer. You kept walking until you found a fallen tree; you chopped a couple of branches off and started picking them up. 

“We were teenagers.” She said quietly. “It would’ve never worked.” 

You nodded. Both carried the wood back into the cabin, Cat dropping it next to the old, dusty fireplace. You carried the wood under your arm and left the axe where you found it. Ellie’s glance immediately landed on you. 

“That’s poorly chopped.” She pointed at the wood in your arm. “Why can’t you just do it like Cat? Jesus, I told you not to be a burden.” 

Your shoulders tensed as you straightened and faced her. Cat stepped quickly next to her and grabbed her arm. Ellie flinched. 

“Hey,” she began in a soft voice, “she cut everything.” 

Ellie didn’t say anything, and even though you could feel the blood rising in your veins, you just pushed them back to leave the wood. 

·꙳⋆𖢔𖠰𖢔·꙳⋆

As you filled the red container with gas, Ellie huffed, growing impatient. The night was cold and rough, and she was not helping with her rude commands. 

You just wanted to get this over with, but the second day was even more difficult. 

Three containers, each one of you carrying them back to Jackson. On the way back, you passed the cabin quickly and hopped down the shortcut Cat suggested. 

Ellie and Cat exchanged simple conversations now and then about the road, the weather, weapons, and when you were distracted, you would eventually catch them talking about music. 

The road was not marked, and you began to feel unsteady. 

“Are you guys sure about this shortcut?” You said loudly behind them at some point, when the road was just a snowy forest. 

They ignored you. 

The wind howled between the pines, and you could sense something else in the air. You shivered, and your skin reacted. 

You looked around, and back in the wall of a mountain next to the road, there were frozen infected. 

“Ellie?” You yelled. She groaned.

“What?!” She snapped her head in your direction and found you pointing to the left. 

When she looked, it was too late; some of the infected reacted to the noise, and they began moving. The sound of their limbs, covered in a layer of ice, was deafening. 

“Fuck.” 

The first one began running toward you. You reached for the revolver in your holster and shot it in the face. The sound of its skull cracking ripped a gasp from Cat. 

“Run!” You yelled as you gripped Ghost's reins and sent him into a rush through the forest. 

Ellie and Cat did as well, while the girl with auburn hair reached for her rifle. You could feel an infected running close by you, and as soon as Ellie spotted it, she shot it. You flinched as the bullet passed next to you. 

“Fuck, Ellie!” 

“Stick together! Let’s go down there!” The outer perimeters were visible now, and everything made sense. This was a horde zone. 

You rushed Ghost, then rode next to Cat. You looked at her, and pain filled her eyes. 

The noise behind was deafening. You didn’t dare look back, but Ellie did, and the expression on her face gave you an idea. 

“We need to lose them!” You said, your voice high-pitched with fear. 

“Fuck! There’s a reason why we don’t come near here!” She yelled back, as if it were your fault. 

“Are you fucking kidding?” 

“Guys! Not now!” Cat pointed in front, a wide complex of cabins appearing in the landscape. “What about that place?” 

“It’s not in the patrol route.” Ellie panted as she rose from the saddle, shifting her weight over Shimmer to make her go faster. 

“Neither is this forest.” You squealed as a runner appeared next to you. You shot at first sight. 

“I’ll distract them! You kill them with Molotovs.” Said Cat, riding faster on her black horse. 

“Cat, don’t!” You said. 

“It’s the only way, trust me!” 

The horde split in two, the bigger section going after you and Ellie. 

“How many of them do you have?” Her voice trembled from Shimmer’s speed. 

You reached for the bottles hanging in the back of your backpack. 

“Two.” 

“At the same time!” 

You lit them up and threw them, aiming for the back of the horde chasing you. And you remembered that no matter how many times you were in this situation, it was always scary. 

The fire spread quickly, getting at least 30 of them. The squeals and high-pitched yells after the first two bombs made you think of bugs being burned. 

As you repeated the action twice, the horde turned into eight infected, chasing you down the hill. You managed to shoot four of them before the revolver emptied. 

Ellie clicked her tongue and kept reloading her rifle as she kept shooting them. When there were two left, you stopped Ghost and jumped off, pushing your knife into the face of the closest one. The second infected ran toward you, but Ellie got it before it could even touch you. 

She stopped Shimmer a few feet away from you and rushed toward you. 

“What the hell?! I told you the revolver is a slow load! If you were alone, you would be dead by now!” Her hands were going in all directions, her voice with that particular hint of anger. 

You cleaned the knife in your jeans, the blood making a dark patch in the fabric. 

“Okay, that’s enough.” You turned in her direction, fury in your expression, not the subtle eyebrow raised, but a frown and a twitch in your mouth about to go off. 

You put the knife away and walked toward her. You pushed her firmly with your hands. 

“Shut the fuck up, Ellie! I can’t stand you talking like a stupid schoolgirl trying to be mean!” She stumbled back, shock in her green eyes. 

She pushed you back, barely moving you. You grabbed her wrist and pulled her closer. 

“Stop messing around. You are getting yourself a punch in the face, which I will not regret.” 

“I want to see you try.” She said, her face closer to yours. Her breath itched your skin. 

“I don’t know what the hell you want from me, but you better stop this.” You shook her off of you, pushing her once again.  “I can’t stand seeing your fucking face, your fucking voice and your stupid commands.” With every point you made, you poked her shoulder roughly with an angry finger.  

And yet, something in her silence and expression had become different. 

“It was Cat’s fault that this horde chased us down, but you are so thick-headed and crawling to get her back that you cannot see things clearly.” You ended up raising your voice, your nose brushing hers. She was a bit taller, you already knew that, but you never were this close. 

Your chest moved with your quick breathing, still panting from the adrenaline of combat and anger. 

“You know nothing about me.” She said through gritted teeth. Her chest was pressed to yours now, and it felt like her body was swinging weirdly. She stumbled, and the weight of her body gave in. She disappeared from your sight, but your hands caught her in time. 

She was bleeding. Badly. 

“Oh my God, oh my God.” You panicked and kneeled with her in your arms. 

“You, idiot—” she mumbled and tried to get up. “Get me to Jackson.” 

“Stop. You are bleeding. What happened?” You laid her on the snow and, with trembling hands covered in gloves, undid her coat, then a jacket, and finally pulled up a hoodie, revealing her abdomen. There was a big, deep bite underneath. 

You stood quickly, stumbled backward, tripped over the snow, and hit the ground with your bottom. 

“Ellie—“ you trailed off. 

“Shit.” She tried to look over her body, but she couldn’t move properly. 

You moved around and reached for your revolver again, reloading as fast as you could, and pointed at her. She sat back up, her head spinning as she tried to focus her sight. 

“No, stop!” She raised a hand while the other one pressed the wound. “I need you to listen to me.” 

Your revolver clicked, the bullet ready to be shot. 

“Please.” Your name sounded so serious in her tongue. And her expression was so vulnerable. “I’m not infected. I cannot get infected.” 

“What?” 

⋆꙳•❅‧₊⋆‧❆₊⋆⋆꙳•❅‧₊⋆‧❆₊⋆

Ellie didn’t like you, not even a bit. She doesn't even remember when she started to dislike you. Maybe it was a morning you shared a table, while you and Dina were talking about nothing, but were laughing so hard that Maria had to stop by and tell you to be quieter. Maybe it was when you were assigned to patrol with Cat, her girlfriend at the time, and both returned to the stables laughing about a clicker that got caught under a roof. The point is, she really didn’t feel comfortable around you, but she couldn’t place exactly why that was. 

Most people at Jackson seemed to like you: your charismatic personality drew everyone to you, eventually making them fall in love with you. You were someone everyone wanted to be around because you were so cool. And she didn’t like you because you weren’t precisely alike; on the contrary, you had so much in common, both with strong personalities and even a bit of a nerd. 

“Ellie, right?” You said when you were signing in for patrol on a Tuesday morning. She side-eyed you and nodded. “I really like your Converse,” she dropped her eyes to the floor, only to realize you were wearing a worn-out pair too, with a little higher platform. 

“Thanks,” she mumbled, and you just bounced away, too perky and happy for a 6 am patrol. She cringed so hard, maybe because she couldn’t stand your smile or because she wanted to say “same” and couldn’t bring it up to her mouth. 

That was the first time she saw you. You wore a leather jacket that was way too big for you for patrols and a pair of worn-out jeans. Your hair was pulled up in a messy ponytail, short at the time, with some loose strands sticking to your cheeks from the snow. She did remember your skin, the moles evident in the daylight, and how your smile formed a single dimple on the right side of your face. You had a scar on your neck, as if someone had stabbed you deeply. 

There were rumors about you, but the version you always gave away, which she learned from Dina, was that you were traveling with your sister and mom. Both were killed by some smugglers, and you managed to run away. But that was it; you never spoke about them anyway. 

You weren’t even close to her friends, yet somehow Dina and Jesse would bring you into the conversation when they were smoking weed at Dina’s. 

“She’s crazy; she turned down three clickers and still managed to laugh. She’s a freak,” Dina said, and Jesse nodded. 

“I’m not even surprised Eric has a crush on her.”

“Fuck, I even have a crush on her,” Dina agreed with Jesse. 

Of course, who wouldn’t like a girl who wore eyeliner every single day on patrol, even when she came back with it all smudged? You were a hot mess. Ellie was very aware of that. But she couldn’t take you seriously. 

She knew you were a little bit like Dina, constantly having fun, attracting attention without wanting to, because people were always expecting to see what your next move would be. That’s when you started dating around, hanging with a blonde girl and a tall boy. None of that was serious. She even saw you kissing the girl at a campfire party, and she hated the way it made her feel. That night, she couldn't eat, and she wrote about it in her journal. 

stupid. 

attention whore. 

unserious and annoying. 

even her voice is so fucking …

But she couldn’t place the words. She never ended the entry and just drew a campfire. 

Jackson was constantly evolving, receiving more and more people every month. And yet the ones on patrol were the same, that is, until you got yourself hurt, coming back, carried by Jesse. 

“It’s nothing; I just have to rest,” you said as you were placed on a wooden chair right outside the stables. 

“This doesn’t seem like anything,” said Dina as she drew up your jeans to discover a swollen foot. 

“Shit—“ you gasped. 

“I’ve got to tell Maria. Ellie, Dina, please be nice and take her to the clinic.” Jesse said, and Ellie turned around to roll her eyes, but still nodded and placed your left arm over her shoulders, while Dina did the same on the opposite side. 

“I mean, could’ve been worse; you can still walk,” said Dina, your eyes still glued to the floor as you watched your step. 

When you finally reached the clinic, Dina went in ahead to find someone to help you. Ellie was then very aware that she was holding you by the waist, fingers pressed way too strongly on your side. 

“Am I too heavy?” you asked and chuckled, a little embarrassed.

“No, not at all,” she answered faster than she could have. You nodded. 

“Thanks for walking with me.” 

“It’s nothing.” 

And the silence fell heavy over both of you. It was a little awkward; you knew Ellie wasn’t as chatty as Dina, but you still wanted to ask her about so much. 

“Have you always been friends with Dina?” 

Ellie furrowed her brows, a little taken aback, but still answered. “Yeah- since I arrived in Jackson, she’s been around.” 

“You seem… close.” You stepped slightly into the conversation. “But not as close as Cat—“ Ellie breathed out, a little annoyed. It seemed as if she were holding that breath for a long time. 

“What is this?” she asked. “What do you want?” she finally said. 

“Nothing—“ 

“Then stop it.” 

“‘Kay.” 

Your cheeks were flushed red, and she could tell, but she didn’t care. She even changed her body weight, so you relied on your bad foot. You hissed and glared at her. 

“What the fuck?” 

“What?” 

“You did that on purpose.” 

“Did what?” she asked innocently, as sarcastically as she could. 

“Get off!” you snapped and pushed her away, stumbling a little but quickly turning to get a grip on the railing of the stairs. 

“As you wish,” she said and turned around. She definitely didn’t like you. Screw you. Screw your fucking nosy manners, your velvety voice, and fuck your vanilla and flowers scent. It made her nose itch. 

·꙳⋆𖢔𖠰𖢔·꙳⋆

Ellie didn't come across you often because she avoided you. After that tense interaction outside the clinic, Dina secretly asked Maria to switch the roles and pair you with Ellie. 

“Oh, they seem to be getting along, you know.” Dina grazed her fingers on Maria’s paperwork, as if she were pretending to study it. Maria raised an eyebrow and pulled the papers away. 

“Really?” She asked skeptically. “I don’t think Ellie likes her at all.”

“I mean, I understand you get that impression, but it’s Ellie we are talking about. She’s usually wearing that though expression.” Dina said quickly, way too quickly. She was acting suspiciously, and Maria was definitely not buying it; she was like her family after all. She stared up at Dina, elbows resting on her desk. Dina sighed, giving up. “Look, Maria,” she sat down in the chair in front of her, “I think Ellie has a secret crush on her. And Jesse and I are trying to make them get to know each other.” 

“I don’t think she’s Ellie’s type.” She simply said with narrowed eyes. 

“Can you do this for me? Please?” Dina begged. 

“I had nothing to do with it. She asks? It was Jesse’s mess-up.” Maria said and signed the patrols Dina and Jesse wrote for her approval. 

“You are the best!” 

But that didn’t turn out well at all. 

The morning you entered the stables with your deep purple backpack filled with supplies, ammo, and enough water for the patrol, you felt a pair of eyes glaring in your direction. You shivered but ignored Ellie as you talked to Jesse to get your day's role. 

“Morning. You are in Alpine Valley today. It’s a little far; be sure to return by nightfall.” Jesse said, pointing to the assignment board, where your name and Ellie’s were paired. Your breath got caught in your mouth, but before you could protest, Jesse patted your back and walked away to talk to other people. 

You froze in place, not even wanting to turn around, knowing she was already standing behind you. You could hear her shoes crunching on the straw covering the floor. 

“You are late.” She said. 

“Yeah, sorry about that.” You said, a smile plastered on your face, as you turned your head to look at her. “And about the other thing, too.”

“Save it.” Se cut you and accepted the reins of Shimmer. She guided the horse outside, just as you accepted the reins from the guys at the stables. You mounted Ghost, your white horse, and doffed your head as you rode outside the stables. 

Ellie climbed Shimmer while outside and started galloping towards the already-open gate. You hurried behind them, Ghost, in contrast to your black clothing and your hair. 

For fifteen minutes straight, you just rode, trying to keep up with Shimmer, but she was fast; at times, the distance between you grew too great, and Ellie slowed down for a bit. She definitely didn’t want to be near you. You groaned and kept trailing her until you reached an old gas station. The old weed growing inside was burned by the cold weather, but something felt off. 

She curbed her horse and turned her around, the front legs up. You pulled at the reins of Ghost and stopped him as well. You panted heavily, about to protest, but she raised a hand and kept silent. Ellie’s eyes were glued to the gas station, looking and studying every inch. 

“There’s someone in there.” She whispered. 

“Someone or something?” 

“I don’t think that’s an infected.” She pointed to the trail of steps that looked like they were made by a person. “We should check it out.” She unmounted Shimmer and took her to a spot behind some trees, where she was out of sight. 

“What? Are you kidding? That could be a smuggler.” 

“Guess we’ll find out.” And she reached for her gun in the holster around her leg. You couldn’t help but stare when she pulled it out, the belt squeezing her skin. You gulped and unmounted as well, taking Ghost next to Shimmer. 

You ran after Ellie and reached for your revolver. She furrowed her brows when she saw it. 

“That reload is slow.” She said. 

“Mind your own business.” You shot back and walked past her, looking through the window. The panel was dirty, and you couldn’t see properly. 

Ellie bumped her shoulder against your back, and as you looked past your shoulder at her, she pointed with her head toward an entrance. The gas shutter was pulled midway up, showing a trail of blood. You nodded and walked silently behind her. She docked and entered, immediately turning on her light. 

The heavy silence was tense; you expected anything to jump out at you, startled at every noise. You weren’t strong enough in one-on-one combat, but you were fast; that’s why you liked to use a revolver. Ellie’s hunched back distracted you, and you noticed how attractive she was whenever she was focused and feral. 

She looked back at you with furrowed brows, mouthing “focus”; you rolled your eyes at her and split, rounding the store inside the gas station. The empty, dusty racks made you sneeze silently. When you opened your eyes, you caught the red ones of someone sitting under a counter, a pool of their own blood around. It seemed like a man reaching out to you. You froze and stepped back quickly. Ellie popped next to you, pointing her gun at the man. 

“No, wait!” He said. 

“Are you infected?” He shook his head, coughing blood. “Where are you from and what got you?” 

“A heavy fall, please help me. I’m from a town nearby.” 

“There are no towns nearby, and that blood does not seem to be from a fall.” 

“Ellie, maybe he is hurt.” You whispered next to her, but she stiffened and ignored you. 

Just then, a box fell behind you, and you turned, pointing the revolver in that direction. You caught a glimpse of torn clothes. 

“Hurt, my ass.” She shot the man in the head. You jumped, and your eyes widened. 

“We need to get out of here. That was a stalker.” You whispered. 

“We are not leaving until we kill it.” She said as she felt the body, looking for something to loot. 

You sighed, your body tensing up. Ellie walked past you, pocketing the ammo she found, and reloaded her gun. You trailed her, stepping carefully as she entered a darker room next to the gas station that could’ve been the storage. There was this heavy feeling of something moving around in the shadows that made you walk back-to-back with her. She chuckled and shook her head. 

“Shut up.” You whispered. 

She walked faster. You noticed her abilities; it was pretty obvious she was Joel Miller’s adoptive daughter. She moved around like him, squeezing her body through small entrances, crafting Molotovs swiftly, and running in silence. She moved away, inspecting the racks and barrels in the corner. 

Suddenly, behind you, something groaned, high-pitched as only a stalker could. As you were about to turn and shoot, a heavy, fungus-like handful hit you straight in the face, blinding you for a split second. The next thing you felt was your back hitting the floor and a heavy weight on you. You yelled and pushed away the body of the stalker. The feeling of its skin was disgusting. 

You pointed your revolver blindly and shot. Ellie growled as she ran full speed at the stalker and tackled it with her body. She reached for her knife, swiped it, and shoved it into its face. It shrieked, and you stood up, pushing her shoulder out of the way and shooting at its head. It stopped moving. 

“Fuck!” You groaned and rubbed your face where it hit you. 

“I had it!” Ellie protested, dropping her hands loudly on her lap with her body still sitting over the stalker. 

“I know, I lost my temper.” You blinked, noticing your cheekbone and eye swelling. 

“Let me see.” You could see Ellie’s hand through your blinking eyes. You felt a warm sensation on your face. 

Her hands were bloody. 

“Shit, you really hit it hard.” 

“This is yours.” She whispered as she touched your face, wiping the blood away. 

“Oh.” You simply said. 

She crouched, put her bag on the floor, and took a bottle of alcohol and a gauze. As she straightened her back to inspect and clean your wound, you couldn’t help but look at her lips; she was pouting, focused. 

Her smell resembled winter, a soft scent of pine shedding from her hair. You sniffled and switched your weight from one foot to the other. 

“Don’t move.” She said. 

“You don’t have to be so rude all the time.” You suggested with a raspy voice. 

She didn’t answer, still working with fast hands. 

You were losing sunlight at this point. You noticed and mumbled an “Ellie…”

“I know.” She hurried and packed the bottle. She walked quickly to get out of the gas station. “Can you ride?” She asked as you reached the horses. 

You analyzed Ghost’s saddle. The skin of your right eye was getting in the way. 

“Um- I mean, I can try.” 

She grabbed your shoulder and turned you, staring at your face. 

“Shit, that looks ugly.” She mumbled. 

“Shut up.” You pushed her and grabbed the reins from the tree. 

She stopped you and snatched them. 

“Forget that; I’m riding.” She pulled at your leather jacket, bringing you closer to Shimmer. She guided Ghost next to her and stared at you. “Go on, hop up.” 

“I hate this.” You mumbled and climbed onto Shimmer’s saddle. Ellie did the same, positioning herself in front of you. 

The ride back home was quiet; the only sound was her breathing and Shimmer and Ghost’s steps on the snow. You shifted in the saddle, accidentally rubbing your chest against Ellie’s back. She stiffened visibly. 

“Sorry.” 

She didn’t answer, and you sighed quietly, hating the tense atmosphere that grew between both of you. 

As you rode in the dark woods, a couple of minutes away from Jackson, she finally broke the silence. 

“She was my girlfriend.” 

“What?” You peeked at her profile from behind, your body brushing against hers again. She shifted her position, shaking her shoulders a little bit. 

“Cat.” She simply said, clearing her throat. 

“Huh? What are you talking about?” 

“You asked about her! Remember? Look forward.” Your name sounded so different in her voice. You obeyed and looked to the road, starting to seem more and more illuminated from the lights of Jackson. 

It suddenly hit you that she was talking about the time you tried to ask about Cat outside the clinic. You laughed, tilting your head backward. 

“What’s so funny?!” She pushed you with her back.  

“Are you coming out or something?” You asked her. 

“Don’t be stupid. I am not. I’m just answering your question.” She cut you. 

“Well, you didn’t have to. It was pretty obvious.” 

“Then why did you ask?” 

“Because.” You shrugged because you actually had no clue why you asked her. Maybe you liked to pull at her strings. “It’s pretty obvious you are a lesbian, though.” You said, looking at her again, your face close to hers, a smirk on your lips that she caught and flushed to her ears. 

“That’s-!” 

“Not true?” 

“Okay, enough.” She said, growing flustered and being painfully obvious, that she was dragging her body further from yours on the saddle. The curve of your legs around her was starting to make her very self-aware of her own body. 

“Aw, you don’t have to do that. I like you close.” You teased. 

She hurried Shimmer, galloping the last few feet toward the front doors that opened at the sight of you. Everything happened so fast that when she hopped down from the horse and left you there, you were still processing her attitude. 

Jesse and Dina were waiting for her at the entrance to the stables, Dina rubbing her hands as if she had been expecting this moment all day. You dropped to the ground, smiled, and waved at them. 

You heard Ellie hiss when she stopped next to them, “Don’t you ever fucking do that again.” And walked away. 

Dina smiled apologetically in your direction, and Jesse tried to catch up to her. 

You kicked a pebble stuck in your shoe. Maybe you pulled at her strings too much. 

⋆꙳•❅‧₊⋆‧❆₊⋆⋆꙳•❅‧₊⋆‧❆₊⋆

It was simply too much. It just felt like the right thing to do, because no matter what, you would never be enough. 

It was never going to be enough attention for your mom. 

It was never going to be enough times that you stayed to take care of your grandma. 

It was actually never going to be enough, no matter how many prizes you won or how many promotions. 

Everything was starting to fall in place, reminding you that no matter what you did, life was tiring. Every ounce of wanting to live happily ever after with someone faded away. 

There was only this immense void staring up at you. 

Nothing mattered anymore. 

The ache in your chest, the nausea climbing in a bile up to your mouth, the buzzing in your head. Everything felt just different. 

And the thought came insanely fast as a car passed and the light got caught in your eyes: what if you actually died? She would feel guilty. Your pain would stop. And you would finally make her pay back. 

You hated your mom. 

You hated how she made you feel. 

You hated her voice, her touch, simply hated her. 

The night was turning darker, and the wind roared stronger. And your feet dragged you to a place you knew very well: that tall bridge near your job. 

You didn’t bother to drive the car; you just walked and walked and walked in silence, not even looking up, the burden of your stress and tiredness making you go slowly. Your legs burned after two hours, and the sight of the almost empty street made you feel even more lonely. 

Of course, no one was going to stop you. 

Why would they? 

You passed the only convenience store that was open throughout the night, the warm lights showering your body as you passed like a shadow. 

As you stepped away and walked to the bridge, you didn’t notice someone in the corner. This person was simply minding their business, smoking a cigarette, and listening to music in their earphones. 

As your feet reached the pavement of the bridge, a car passed really fast, leaving a trace of roaring wind behind. You didn’t even flinch; your eyes were fixated on the barandal. 

Your steady hand wrapped around the metal, and you brought your feet up almost automatically. The metal was cold, and the wind felt like it could push you any time. 

You sighed. The burden feels lighter and lighter. As your body was drawn to the vast green beneath you, an echoey noise caught your attention. 

As you turned your head, the hair tangled in your nose, blinding you for a second, and the next thing you felt was a hit to the ground. 

That was it? 

It didn’t hurt you. You were probably meant to die anyway. 

“Shit, shit, shit. Oh my God. Are you okay?” 

A raspy voice could be heard. That was probably the devil receiving you in hell. Because your mom always told you if someone killed themself, they would probably go to hell. 

“Hey!” 

Your body was shaken, and reality hit you. As you opened your eyes, a girl was hovering over you, her body pressed on top of yours, the weight raising heat in your stomach. 

She was the most beautiful girl you had ever seen: her hair was messily tied at the bottom of her neck, strands going wild in the windy night, her face sprinkled with freckles that intensified on the bridge of her nose; her neck and shoulders smaller than yours but defined under the uniform of the convenience store you just passed. 

She was panting, her breath hitting your cheeks. She snaked her hands on your face, turning it to the sides and then roaming your arms to look desperately for a wound. 

“Ellie?!” Someone else yelled behind; it was another girl that you couldn’t see. 

“She’s okay, but I think she's in shock!” Ellie turned her head and sat astride on top of your body. “Hey, hey. I’m Ellie. Are you okay? What’s your name?” 

Tears filled your eyes, and they just started falling uncontrollably. There was no going back. 

You stumbled up the steps from the pool, Ellie’s stare on your naked back, and quickly wrapped a towel around your body. You walked towards the kitchen door, where Dani had left seconds ago. 

“Hey, you forgot something.” You turned and caught her standing on a step, half her body out of the water, her hand stretched toward you, holding your bikini top. Ellie’s body was plain in sight, naked and pale as she was, her torso and chest sprinkled with freckles. You swallowed hard and slowly, staring at her tits, small and round, with droplets running down and getting lost on her bottom swimsuit. 

“Thanks.” You mumbled as you blinked and snatched it away from her hand. She chuckled and stepped out to wrap her body in a green towel. 

Just then, Sophie opened the door in silence, catching both of you at the side of the pool, stealing a glance at Ellie’s bare chest and your hand around the top of your bikini. She bit the inside of her cheek and came back in as silently as before. 

You and Ellie didn’t even see her, still lost in your own world. 

“Like what you see?” she asked, ruffling her hair. 

“Um- ” you stuttered, and a hot blush rose to your cheeks. “Why are you doing this?” 

“What? Isn’t it obvious?” Ellie dared to shoot back at you. 

You held her glance in the dark, the water hitting peacefully on the pool’s edge, the cicadas singing louder. 

𖤓 ｡𖦹°‧ ⋆☀︎.

“Right, so, queen, I’m gonna say something, and I hope you don’t get angry,” Jennie said with her brows furrowed. You nodded for her to go on. “You need to cut your nails.” 

“Shut the fuck up!” You hissed, looking back to see if the door of the bedroom was still closed. “I am not doing that!” 

“Girl, Ellie has been staring at you as if you were a piece of meat. She’s definitely going to try something. And I know you don’t like to receive, if you know what I mean.” 

You stood there, in the middle of the room, lighted by a single bed lamp, the rustle of the trees outside filling your ears. You thought for a second, lost in the view outside the window. 

“Fuck it, give me your nail clipper.” 

𖤓 ｡𖦹°‧ ⋆☀︎.

As you stepped out of the bedroom, now dressed in a clean Deftones shirt, a pair of shorts, and with eyeliner on, Jennie nodded at you, satisfied. You hid your hands, trying not to make it obvious that your lilac manicure had been clumsily chopped off. 

Sophie opened her mouth and bit her lip immediately, making it obvious that she was staring at you. 

“Ellie, come on, I think y/n needs a shot right away!” She said, brushing her body on Ellie’s right arm. You could see her confused look at Sophie, but she nodded anyway. 

Sophie ran her hands on Ellie’s back and pushed her gently in your direction. She smiled clumsily, very aware that everyone was watching, and opened the vodka bottle. 

You enjoyed the view of her becoming suddenly so shy when she was practically asking for you to see her naked a couple of hours ago. You tilted your head backward without breaking eye contact and opened your mouth with a smirk plastered on your face. Your teeth were visible and really close to Ellie’s face, and as pathetic as she was, she swallowed hard. She placed her hand on the crook of your neck, her fingers gracing your skin. 

The liquid of the bottle slid on your tongue and ran back into your throat, making your eyes water. The alcohol burned, but you took it in the sluttiest way you could, sure that Ellie saw every single one of your moves.  

Dani and Jennie cheered, and Sophie clapped, ready to start the party of the night. It was the last day of spring break, and everyone had their own plans.

After a couple of hours and drinks, you’d been playing a set of game cards in which you had to answer philosophical questions. You kept getting up to use the restroom, and your trips were longer because you spent time on your phone, scrolling through social media. These types of games were not your thing, and you hoped everyone would move on and suggest playing something else. 

With your back pressed against the door of the bathroom and the phone in hand, someone knocked. Startled, you almost dropped your phone, but immediately turned around. 

“Coming!” You replied and opened the door, only to find Ellie standing outside. 

“I can’t anymore with this fucking game. Dani and Jennie are on the verge of crying.” She slurred her words and grabbed your arm, squeezing it slightly in desperation, her eyes wide open. “You need to stop this.” 

“What the fuck happened?” You blinked, confused. She pulled you by the arm back to the kitchen, and you found Dani and Jennie talking and tearing up, while Sophie just stared at them in awe, trying not to laugh. 

Ellie dragged her feet and let herself fall to sit back in a chair, a hand over her torso in despair. You laughed and clapped. 

“All right, you people. What about we sing some karaoke?” You said cheerfully. 

“We don’t even have mics to sing Disney songs,” Dani said in a sad, tiny voice. 

“Disney songs? Hell no.” Jennie snapped out of her teary eyes and glared at her. 

You chuckled and walked outside to get the speaker that was left by the pool. As you bent over to unplug the cable, you felt a hand on your shoulder, pulling you up and turning you around. Your back was slammed against the wall behind, and you felt a pair of lips moving over yours hungrily. You froze in shock, but didn’t move away. The scent that filled your nose was sweet like a cherry. The realization suddenly hit you: this was not Ellie; it was Sophie. 

She pinned you against the wall, both hands on your shoulders, pressing them back, and her chest rubbing on yours. Your body betrayed you, and a soft whimper was ripped from you. 

“Hey, need some help?” It was Ellie’s voice. She was standing a couple of feet away, her hand still holding the door of the kitchen open. 

Sophie pulled away and wiped her lips. 

“Woops.” She said and giggled. “Can you keep it a secret?” She said as she walked over to Ellie and squeezed her body past her. She stopped and planted a kiss on her cheek. Ellie moved away and glared down at Sophie. 

As she left you both there, you were still processing what had just happened. 

“I-” you started, stuttering. 

“Fuck you.” She whispered and closed the door. 

𖤓 ｡𖦹°‧ ⋆☀︎.

It took all of your strength to go back into the house, breathing heavily with a hand glued to your chest. Your head was spinning, and you couldn’t focus your sight. As you walked in, you avoided everyone, left the speaker on the table, and rushed to the restroom. You spent around twenty minutes in there, trying to figure out what to do. You were desperate to explain yourself, but so embarrassed to confront Ellie. 

She seemed so hurt back outside that you felt every drip of guilt rush into your veins. That Sophie situation could’ve been avoided if you had just been straightforward with both of them: admitting to liking Ellie, but also Sophie’s attention. You panted silently, quite sure of having a panic attack. You stared at your chopped manicure and rolled your eyes. You were so stupid. 

Eventually, Dani knocked on the door. 

“Girl, you’ve been there for almost half an hour; I have to pee!” Her dunk voice hammered your brain, but you rushed on, flushing the toilet and running water on the sink, pretending to be busy. 

“Yeah, yeah! Coming!” Your limbs were shaking, and your voice trembled, but the loud music helped you cover it. 

As you opened the door, Dani rushed past you, pushing you out, groaning, and you stood in the middle of the hallway in front of the kitchen. Sophie and Jennie were sitting at the table, drinking and chatting. 

“Where’s Ellie?” You asked, trying to sound casual, but Sophie smirked at you. 

“Oh, she said she was out of beer, so she went to buy some.” 

“All by herself?” 

“It’s just around the corner.” Sophie talked back, scoffing. 

“Unbelievable.” You stumbled toward the entrance, snatching a cap and putting it on. You went out, squinting your eyes at the sudden change of lighting. 

“y/n! Wait!” You heard Sophie’s chair screech and her hurried steps behind you. As her fingers closed on your arm, you turned around. 

“Don’t you fucking dare.” You shook her hand off, your hair flowing around your face with the night country wind. “You really need to stop. That was not a fucking joke, Sophie. I don’t want to kiss you; you are my friend.” 

“So what about Ellie? I saw you, you know? Almost naked by the pool.” She crossed her arms over her chest. 

“I’m getting tired of this bullshit.” You raised your hands to the cap, snatched it off your head, your hair growing messier. You sighed heavily. “I like Ellie, Sophie. And nothing’s going to change that, okay? Just stop.” 

The silence grew heavy, Sophie’s expression changing slowly into defeat. You put the cap back on and started walking into the night. 

“I’ll be back in a second.” 

As you walked further into downtown, you looked into the store around the corner, but there was not a trace of Ellie. You sighed, realizing you went out without your phone. You could still feel the alcohol making you brave to investigate further down the small square. Not a single trace of her. You sighed and gave up, sat on a bench near the store, and rested your head against the building's wall. A small lamp over your head and the warm light escaping the store made your chest grow tighter. It was probably because it was 1 in the morning that you were so emotional. 

You sniffed and couldn’t help but let a couple of tears stream down your cheeks, lowering your head so the cap hid your face. What if you really fucked up? It was not like you kissed Sophie. But you knew Ellie; she was not going to be open to discussions. She would probably be on her way back home. The crickets were loud, and the lamp over your head was buzzing. 

“Don’t cry; you look pathetic.” 

Your head shot up, and you found Ellie leaning on a pole that held the roof of the small store. 

“Ellie, I- " You stood up and took a step. 

“I don’t wanna know.” 

You stopped and froze, your lips pressed into a line, holding back the words. 

“You know, I think all of this was my fault.” 

“No! Ellie, let me just- “ 

“I don’t fucking care! You think I don’t see the way you kissed her back?!” 

“That’s not true!” 

“There you go again playing dumb!” 

“I am not!” 

“Like hell you are!” 

“Can you fucking listen to me?!” 

You stepped closer and yelled. Ellie’s eyes widened for a brief second, only to narrow and glare down at you. She remained silent, slowly studying your face, pausing on your lips. 

“I don’t like Sophie; how many times do I have to say it?” 

Just then, the store door was pushed open by a lady who seemed really nice. 

“Hi, girls. Sorry to interrupt, but would you mind taking your conversation somewhere else?” She was holding the door frame tight, a little bit nervous. 

You blushed violently and dropped your gaze, the cap hiding your face. 

“Yeah, sorry, we didn’t-“ Ellie started, but you didn’t stay to find out what else she would say. 

You walked past her, pushing her shoulder with yours. Tears were now running helplessly down your face, and you sniffled and wiped with your wrist. Your head spun, adrenaline running as you rushed back down the road towards the house. Your ears were buzzing. 

“y/n!” You didn’t stop. “y/n!” You walked faster. “Fucking stop!” Ellie trailed after you and spun you violently, revealing your face, makeup smudged, and a red nose from crying. 

She froze, and something in her flipped: her eyes grew darker, and her lips parted. She breathed in and grabbed you tightly by the arms, closing the space between the two, and kissing you like she was starving. The tension that had grown in your stomach these past days untied and made a mess inside you, electricity running all over the place and making your body tremble under her touch. 

Her lips were so steady, yet demanding, and she didn’t even care that your tears were in the way, wetting her face as well. Her grip tightened when your lips consented, and you let her tongue in. You closed your eyes, swallowing every inch of her scent. The coconut cream that she had stolen from you earlier was filling you, and so was her pine-scented shampoo. Her skin on your was so soft that you just tilted your head backward, allowing her to do what she wanted with you. 

“You are disgusting; you still taste like cherry.” She whispered over your lips and kissed you deeply again. Her mean words and breath on your face sent adrenaline through your body. You nodded and kept kissing her back clumsily. It was pretty obvious she was in control now. 

She guided you, without breaking the kiss, towards a lamppost by the road, pressing your back against it. The dim light over you and the ruffle of the trees behind made the sloppy sounds of your saliva and tongue louder, clicking into the windy night. 

Ellie’s hands roamed your body, putting the right pressure on the sides of your waist, the space between your tits and armpits, and the back of your hips. She couldn’t get enough of you, and you were a mess, a whimpy mess under her spell. You let her guide you through every touch, and when she reached for your right breast, you moaned loudly, your skin sensitive over the fabric of your shirt. 

Then, all of a sudden, she stopped. 

She backed, and you just stared at her, confused. 

She pocketed her hands in her denim shorts and turned around. 

“I’m drunk; let’s go back.” She said in a silent voice. 

𖤓 ｡𖦹°‧ ⋆☀︎.

You had a dream that night, one in which you could see the back of Ellie walking away, the distance growing, and there was nothing you could do about it. Your feet were glued to the ground, and although you tried to reach out and yell, not a sound came out. 

The light and setup had changed, and you could see your friends' worried faces as you walked back into the house's kitchen. Jennie was touching your arms and face to see if you were hurt, and you could only stare at them, confused. 

𖤓 ｡𖦹°‧ ⋆☀︎.

“Hey, y/n. We are heading out already.” Dani’s voice was over you. You opened your eyes lazily, stirring in the bed. 

“Hm?” 

“We need to drop the trash at the square, you know, country stuff. And we want to go buy coffee at the locals.” 

There was so much information that you couldn’t process. You just nodded and sat up, the blanket still around your waist. 

“Just leave her,” Jenni whispered to Dani. “I don’t think she’s in the mood for coffee.” She giggled and pulled at Dani’s arm. You gave a single nod and shooshed them with your hand. 

Dani sighed and gave up. “Alright. Let’s go. We’ll be back in an hour or so.” 

And they closed the door behind them. 

𖤓 ｡𖦹°‧ ⋆☀︎.

Dani and Sophie reached the car first, singing and swaying as they held hands. They were singing some High School Musical song, which made Jennie roll her eyes. 

“Not the Disney thing again.” She mumbled and sighed, stepping out of the house as a bowed Ellie trailed her. Jennie stopped and blocked her path by holding a hand on the doorframe. “So! What happened yesterday?” She said with a wide smile. Ellie looked up, eyebrows furrowed. 

“Nothing?” 

“She came back with all of her makeup smudged and unable to talk. What did you do?” Her grin grew wider. She seemed intimidating. 

“We had a fight; that’s all.” 

“Well, makeup then.” And she pushed Ellie inside. “Finish what you started. We’ll be back in two hours.” And she winked. Ellie snaked her hand out before she could close the door. 

“What the hell? She’s not going to take me back. Not after-“ and she stopped mid-sentence. 

“Oh, come on! Have you seen her nails?!” Jennie rolled her eyes again. 

“What?” 

“‘Kay, bye!” 

The door was closed with Ellie’s hands pressed on it, her head hunched down and her nervous breath. 

𖤓 ｡𖦹°‧ ⋆☀︎.

You woke up slowly, not daring to go back to sleep after everyone left. The silence of the air conditioner lulled you, and, somehow, it felt comforting. The window was closed, the curtains pulled so the view outside was blocked. You stood up to reveal the landscape of your last day here, the sky so clean and the grass so green. God, you were going to miss this. 

You pictured all of your friends by the pool, playing, taking pictures, yelling at each other, and singing, but that was days ago. You were not sure you would be able to return to that dynamic, not after the Ellie and Sophie thing. 

This was probably stupid and overdramatic, but it made your neck and chest feel heavy. 

You turned and picked up your backpack, starting to fold your clothes and swimsuits to pack them. Your throat felt sore, the sudden need for water took you to the kitchen, your steps more confident since no one was around. You bent under the sink and picked a plastic glass, the hem of the shirt climbing up your ass, showing it fully and carelessly. 

As you filled it with water and turned around, you yelped so loudly that the glass fell from your hand, spilling the liquid over your naked legs and the floor. 

Ellie was sitting in a chair at the kitchen table, simply staring at you. 

“You scared me!” You protested with a hand pressed to your chest. 

“Hm.” She made a sound with her mouth closed. Her chin was resting on one of her hands. 

“Um. I thought everyone left.” You said as you picked up the glass. 

“No. I was left behind.” 

“Oh.” 

Ellie didn’t move. You felt like this was not going to take you anywhere, so you just walked slowly around to get a towel, you cleaned the floor, and extended the towel over a chair. Ellie’s eyes were burning holes in your skin. You sighed. 

“Come.” You signaled the door of the bedroom with a nod. She frowned but obeyed slowly. You took her hand and guided her back into the air conditioner, keeping the room cold. She glanced at your nails, which, she hadn’t noticed, were poorly cut off, now short, something she had never seen you wearing. She blushed immediately. 

As you entered the room, you made Ellie sit on her own bed, and you knelt in front of her. She went stiff again, making it painfully obvious how nervous she was. 

You reached for the strands of your wavy hair framing your face, and as you pushed them behind your ears, you said, “Weren’t you the one kissing me yesterday?” Ellie made a muffled noise in her throat and nodded as you looked up at her, the color of your eyes shining with sunlight that filtered through the window. “Why are you nervous?” You whispered. 

She just stared, unsure of what to answer. This is what you liked about her: the duality of how flustered and bold she could be at times. 

You moved your body, still kneeling in front of her, and pushed it up to reach her face, your hand cupping her cheeks tenderly. You studied her movements, ready to stop at any sudden sign of discomfort. She had puppy eyes, apologetic and a slight pout that made you want to kiss her deeply, and you did. It was not hungry like yesterday’s, but filled with care instead. Your lips moved in control this time, and she just let out the air inside her lungs, caressing your skin. You whimpered in her mouth, pushing your tongue just enough to make her hips thrust, looking for the contact of your body. You smiled between kisses and pulled apart, not giving her enough time to process anything. 

You undid the knot tied around her black pants and pulled at them. Ellie instinctively raised her body with her hands pressed on the mattress, and you pulled them down along with her underwear. 

“y/n, what are you-?” 

“Shut up. Just- let me make you feel good.” You cut her and caressed her knees. Her shoulders relaxed visibly as she admired you, and you pushed her knees open, revealing her core. It was impressive that even her legs were filled with freckles. 

She was starting to grow wet right at the sight of your face so close to her, and you didn’t make her wait anymore. You wouldn’t torture her; you just wanted to make her feel good. Ellie was growing hot, blushing to the ears, and feeling flustered as your nose pressed her pelvic bone, your lips making contact with her folds already wet. 

She moaned so hard and high-pitched that it made your head spin. Her left hand held your head in place, snaking to your nape, her fingers tangled in your hair. You licked at her clit steadily but softly. 

“Shit, don’t stop, please.” She moaned once again, music to your ears, and you kept going, wetting your cheeks, your nose, but eating her with so much fervor that you had to look up at her. Her head was tilted backward, her neck exposed, her chest raising and falling with the rhythm of her breathy moans. You hummed at the heavenly sight, noticing how her free hand was fisting the blankets when the vibration of your muffled voice hit her core. 

You slid a hand under her thighs and up her hip to hold her in place as you kept eating her, her moans growing louder. She glanced at you, locking eyes and moaning your name. You smiled, your teeth visible for an instant and sending her to the cliff of her orgasm. You settled your body, readjusting your position to slide two fingers inside her, the wet sounds evident and her juices dripping from your chin. 

She fisted your hair, as her waist snaked, and her hips thrusted your face and tongue. Ellie’s eyes rolled back, and her head fell backward as she came loudly, her body trembling in pleasure, and your tongue flicked on her clit, fingers pumping her wetness faster.  

As she rode down her orgasm, you kept pumping her pussy, your tongue slowing down. 

“Oh my God, stop.” She squirmed her body on your tongue. “That’s too much”. She said in a breath that was back to her natural, raspy voice. 

You chuckled and pulled apart, your face a mess with her wetness. As you were about to wipe your lips with the back of your hand, she stopped you, her fingers around your wrist so tight that you flinched. Her numb stare was so intense that when she pulled you closer, she didn't close her eyes, licking your jawline and up to your lips, kissing you with her tongue out, cleaning all of her cum from your face. 

You whimpered and melted in her hands, your weight falling back on top of your legs, still kneeling. She grabbed the side of your neck, letting your face fall on one of her hands as she kept kissing you with her eyes open. 

When she parted, she slid the thumb of her hand on your face in the direction of your mouth, her finger pulling at your bottom lip, making you open up. 

“You did so well, babe.” She whispered, glancing down at you with a smile. “So fucking good.” You looked up at Ellie, and she pulled down your bottom lip with her thumb. “Take it.” She said lazily as she pushed her finger inside your mouth. You did as you were told and licked her skin, a salty flavor filling you. She straightened her body and wrapped your neck with a free hand. “You look so good on your knees,” Ellie said, her confidence growing back at the sight of you on the ground. “Did you enjoy eating me out?” You nodded, a moan starting to rise in your throat as she pushed her thumb deeper, caressing the velvet of your tongue. “Of course you did; you are such a good girl, and you are going to do as I say, right?” Her voice was back to being deep, demanding. 

She helped you stand up, your legs starting to get wobbly in arousal. She chuckled and finally pulled out her thumb. 

“Take off your clothes, babe.” She said, leaning back on her elbows, still spread out for you. You studied her entire body and smiled. 

“You too.” You said, pointing to her shirt still on.

“I don’t think you get it, babe. You will do as I say. Besides, you were stupid yesterday, kissing Sophie and shit. You don’t get to choose.” 

You remained silent, tickles running inside your pelvis. You nodded and pulled at the hem of your oversize shirt and raised it over your body, revealing your curves and your bare chest. As you took it off, you closed your eyes, suddenly feeling shy. 

“God, you are beautiful and such a tease. You think I didn’t notice all these past days?” She reached out for you, pulling you closer by the waist. 

“I was hoping you did, but you are slow.” You whispered, challenging as Ellie traced with her thumbs your underwear’s elastic band. 

“Yeah. I want to fuck you slowly.” And she pulled down your panties, leaving you completely naked. 

You blushed as her hands roamed painfully slowly on your sides, up your breasts, and back down to grope your ass. You breathed out. You watched as her face turned into a mop of hair as she leaned in and kissed your right nipple, then your left one. You moaned softly, caressing her back and head. The pleasure your chest and stomach held during these holidays was unfolding beautifully with every touch, every kiss, and every single particle of light slipping through the window. 

Ellie licked and bit your nipples, making your moans grow louder, and as you looked down at her, your hair fell back, framing your face. She stared up to lock eyes with you, and she pulled you down slowly, making you sit on top of her as she kissed you fervently. Your legs, on each side of her body, trembled as she lowered you on her, pressing your core with her naked pelvic bone. You gasped between kisses, and she hummed. 

Her right hand snaked between your bodies, sliding to your core, and her fingers parted your folds, which released some of your wetness. She moaned on your lips and didn’t wait any longer to push in two fingers, your pussy taking them easily from your wetness. You broke the kiss to tilt back your head with a loud moan. Ellie didn’t stop, leaning to kiss your chest and neck, as she curled her fingers inside of you and cupped her hand, so her palm rubbed directly on your clit. She started pumping you slowly. 

You moaned her name helplessly and moved your body on top of her, as her free hand held you around the back steadily, keeping you close. The movements of your body made your tits bounce in front of her eyes, and your chest hit her chin every once in a while. 

“That’s it, huh? Let me fuck you, babe.” Her voice was lost in your neck as she nibbled and left love bites all around, unable to control herself anymore. 

“Please, Ellie-“ you said in quick breaths, “-don’t stop.” You moaned and kept riding her fingers.

Just as your moans grew messier, your body snaked on top of hers, and your hands gripped her shoulders tightly, Ellie suddenly decided that was enough, and she just stopped and pulled out her fingers, her hand soaking wet. 

You glared down at her, infuriated, as your orgasm was still tickling your belly. 

“Wha-“ 

She moved you out of the way, flipping you to make you lie on the bed. Your back hit the mattress, and you gasped when she climbed on top of you. 

“You are not allowed to come until I say so.” She whispered in your ear as her right hand parted your legs again, her fingers immediately rubbing on your clit. 

“Ellie, please.” You moaned, pressing your head deeper into the pillow. “I can’t take it anymore.” 

“Yes, you can, babe.” Her movements flipped to circular motions, pressing softly and keeping up whenever your whimpers became desperate. “You look so pretty begging. I love to make a mess of you.” 

You didn’t dare to announce you were close, so you just moaned in response. She stopped again and chuckled, the sound of her laugh in your ear sending shivers all over your body. She sat back and pulled at your wrists, your tits pressing in the process. She bit her lip, and when you were sitting close to her, she kissed you. 

“On all fours, babe.” She commanded you. You blushed violently and didn’t move. “Do it.” She said in a firmer voice and pulled apart. You began moving slowly, and when you turned around, she pushed your back firmly, making you press your chest on the bed, your ass up. “God, I love seeing a brat spread open for me.” 

She slid three fingers in you, your arch arching even more, and a muffled moan was heard below her. She placed her free hand on the back of your head, fisting the hair at your nape. You turned your head, muffling your desperate moans in the blankets. You didn’t stop, not caring a little bit if your friends came back and found you in this position. As Ellie pumped her fingers violently, the sloppy sounds of your wet pussy aroused her even more. She pressed her pelvis on one side of your ass, rubbing herself for pleasure as she kept fuckin you. You were practically screaming in the blankets now; the noise could probably be heard in the backyard. 

“Fuck, please, Ellie-!” You groaned, your fists closing on a pillow above your head. You were gripping everything around you desperately. 

“Hold it, babe.” Said Ellie as her fingers fucked you faster. You yelped, your legs starting to close, and your toes curling, but Ellie could tell you were not coming yet. She loosened her grip on your hair and flipped that hand to reach around your body, circling with her fingers your clit. 

“No, please!”

“You can cum now, babe.” She whispered close to your face and straightened up, rubbing herself with more force on you, fucking you remorselessly and overstimulating you in every way she could. 

The feeling that grew inside you was as if three trucks crashed one after another. Your orgasm came in waves as it never did before, with a force that had you yelling, making you hide your mouth on the blankets, biting on them. Your ass shook violently as you pushed back on Ellie’s fingers. Electricity shot in every direction, and your pussy squirted a liquid on Ellie’s hand. She smirked and fucked you harder out of your orgasm. 

As you came down that cliff so high, your legs gave up, and your body fell on your side, ripping Ellie’s fingers out with a soft moan from you, your hands covering your face in disbelief. Ellie collapsed next to you, facing your direction, and grabbed your hand, moving it away to see your face completely relaxed, your hair all in the way, and your lips swollen. 

“Fuck.” She whispered and laughed. You could barely keep your eyes open. 

“What the hell just happened?” You said it clumsily, still panting. 

“Made you have the best sex ever, I guess?” 

“I hate your confidence.” You mumbled and rubbed your face in the pillow. “But yeah. You are a freak.” 

“You know what they say of nerds.” 

In the back of your heads, a noise was heard; it was the front door closing shut and the voices of everyone else filling the house. 

“Fuck.”

“Shit.” 

Both of you jumped out of the bed, looking around desperately for your clothes. You found your shirt and pressed it to your chest and abdomen, while Ellie bent over to find her pants, which were nowhere to be found. You pushed her on the bed as steps grew closer, and threw a pillow covering her body. 

“Hey, I know you said no, but we got coffee!” Said Sophie at the door, and she pushed it open, finding you covering poorly your body and Ellie sitting in her messily undone bed. “Oh, my God! Fuck, I’m sorry!” Sophie was holding a single cup of coffee, with Dani behind her holding another one. 

They shut the door. 

It was finally the day. The one that your family had been expecting for so many months; all the planning, the flowers, the invitations sent, and the dress were going to be of some use, a big one. But something felt tight in your chest as the long sleeves of your silk robe caressed your skin. 

You were nervous, that was a fact, expectation growing at the pit of your stomach. You were trembling, your hands wobbly as you tried putting on the earrings. 

There was a click behind you, and you could see the door of the hotel room opening slowly from the reflection of the mirror. You dropped the earring, muttering a slight shit. The figure behind the door, still holding the knob, showed herself. 

“Y/n.” She said. You sighed and looked at her in the reflection. “Are you sure? It’s bad luck to see the bride before the wedding.”

“Mom. You promised.” 

She breathed out, a long, weary breath that she had been holding for hours. She simply nodded and closed the door. 

You looked outside, the windows closed with tulle curtains that let light into the room, blurring everything around. 

You couldn’t help but notice that for such a festive day, the bride’s room was empty and felt much more lonely with the white spreading like a feather. It was sunny, and yet, the sun was cold, making your chest grow tighter and tighter. 

You dropped your glance to the earring lying in the vanity, picking it up slowly and studying, as if there was something wrong with it. You looked at yourself in the mirror, hair pulled loosely in a mid ponytail, smudged and natural makeup, your body as thin as it had ever been after months of a strict diet controlled by your mom and sister. You looked gorgeous, yet tears formed in your eyes, trickling down your eyelashes, making them heavier as a single drop fell, and you wiped it away. You couldn’t ruin the makeup. 

You reached your ear, trying, for the third time in the last half hour, to put on the golden earring. There was a small and shy knock on the door, and you flinched, the earring falling to the floor and bouncing under the vanity. 

“Come in.” The polite phrase came out choppy from your throat. 

There was a doubtful second of silence, and then a click that felt heavier than the last one, because you were now convinced that your mom was not going to be the one to show this time. 

The door opened, and seconds seemed longer and longer until Ellie finally stepped in, her eyes fixated on her shoes. 

Your stomach dropped at her sight. She was wearing a black long suit, as you assumed she would. Her hair was loose, and in messy waves, her neck hugged tight by a turtle neck. Your heart dropped, and you couldn’t hold back a chuckle loaded with happy tears. 

“Ellie.” Her name felt like air in your tongue, swirling happily in your mouth. 

You turned your body around in the chair of the vanity. Ellie didn’t dare to look at you just yet, as if it was too scary. 

“You know, it is bad luck to see the bride before the wedding.” She said, her voice raspy, deep, and velvety, exactly like you remembered it. She closed her eyes tightly and pressed two fingers to the bridge of her nose. 

“I don’t care.” You said and stood up gracefully. 

She could hear the fabric of the silk robe gracing your body as you moved toward her. She seemed so stiff, so nervous, and so small standing right there. You passed her and reached for the door first. As you were about to close her, you met eye to eye with your mom, who was peeking inside. 

“Thanks. I’ll be right there in a couple of minutes.” You said firmly but with premeditated affection. She nodded and turned around, her heels echoing in the hall. 

You finally closed the door and turned, meeting with the back of Ellie; she hadn’t moved a single inch. You waited patiently, the room thick with tension, the only sound her breathing. You didn’t dare to move, to even let your eyes wander too much. 

Minutes passed, and Ellie’s shoulders relaxed a little bit, her neck straightened, and she picked up her head, turning around painfully slowly. As her emerald eyes finally landed on you, she chuckled, clapping her hand over her mouth in the process. She suppressed a laugh. 

“Oh.” She let it out muffled behind her fingers. “You — “ she blinked rapidly. “— you look gorgeous.” She said with teary eyes. 

Your smile grew wide, but there was so much sadness in it that Ellie couldn’t hold back her tears. She pounced on you, hitting your body with hers in a tight hug. You cried. Like hell. 

There was a long moment in which you just held each other, the light in the room growing warmer whenever her fingers snuck and tangled in your hair. Her hands roamed over you, as if she couldn’t believe she was holding you right there. 

As her sobs quieted down, she took a step back, cupping your face with her hands. She stared at you, your tears pooling in her hands. 

“No, don’t cry. Don’t ruin your makeup.” She whispered as her fingertips graced your cheekbones, trying to remove the tears. 

“I don’t care.” You said. 

“I do.” 

The silence grew, and she couldn’t help but lean, pressing her forehead on yours. You held her waist, the touch way too familiar. 

“Why would you do this?” She asked, her eyes closed. You couldn’t rip your eyes off of her, swallowing every detail, every freckle and mole, memorizing her. 

“That was my only condition.” You simply said. 

“That a lesbian everyone hates helped you put on your wedding dress?” She didn’t mean to make it sound bitter, but she couldn’t help it. 

“Yes…” 

“I must say,” she parted, still holding you close, “your mother has never been nice, but today, she seemed angrier.” She chuckled and wiped her own tears. You smiled, but it didn’t reach your eyes. 

“I’m sorry. I-“ 

“It’s okay.” 

“No, but,” you interrupted her back, “I didn’t actually think you would agree to come. I’m so happy you did. This is the only thing I wished for this day.” 

Her hands dropped to her sides, and you let her go as well. Your chest grew tight again. 

“He’s lucky,” Ellie said in a whisper, averting your eyes. “I wish I could say I’m happy for you, but I’m pretty sure this is the end.” 

There it was again, the air thick, the distance between you like a void in front. 

“It probably is.” You reached out, holding her hand and ignoring the unavoidable pit, keeping your shoes apart. “Ellie, would you do me the honor of helping me put on my dress?” 

Ellie could feel a knot, so heavy and painful, growing in her throat. She ached in every way that anyone could, but didn’t dare to refuse you; she was never able to do so. She nodded, smiling, caressing the skin of your hand, feeling the ring immediately. She ignored it. If she had ignored it in the past, taking it off and placing it on her bedside table to love you properly, she would ignore it today. 

You walked across the room, still looking at Ellie and holding her hand, leading her to a corner where a white suit bag was hanging. It read your name in golden handwriting. You nodded, reassuring her. 

She unzipped it, revealing a cream colored dress. Of course, it wasn’t white. She chuckled and faced you again. Your hands held the belt that kept the silk robe from slipping down your waist. You undid it and slid the fabric over your shoulders. 

Ellie stared down, your skin glowing, and her cheeks turning red. You were wearing white lingerie, the lace holding your breasts in place. 

She smiled softly and reached for the dress, pulling it down and feeling the soft fabric in her fingers. She turned again, now facing you with the dress in her arms. She signaled the vanity with her chin, and you obeyed, walking down to it. 

“Turn around.” She whispered and unbuttoned the dress. “Arms up.” And you raised them, used to her commanding you with a soft and deep voice. 

She slipped the dress over your body, the cloth draping around your skinny body. She stared down your hips, the moles and stretch marks exactly as she remembered them. You looked to the right, catching a glimpse of her in the mirror. She noticed and raised an eyebrow. You flinched and looked away. 

You pulled your hair to the side, revealing your whole back naked. Ellie sighed and closed her eyes, her hands freezing over the buttons. 

She leaned, defeated, pressing her forehead on your nape. 

“Y/n. I can’t.” She said, tears filling her eyes once again. She sniffed and placed ghost kisses on your neck and shoulders. The contact of her lips burned like fire in your skin. She turned you around with her hands on your shoulders and pulled aside the fabric. 

She leaned and kissed you on the lips, her mouth moving desperately over yours, and you couldn’t hold back, your hands shooting directly to her jaw, holding her closer, and pushing your tongue past her teeth. 

She whimpered and pulled down the dress, the skirt still hugging your waist, but your breasts were uncovered. She even pulled down the lingerie, your tits bouncing slightly and going hard at the contact of cold air. She groped them, still kissing you and ripping a moan from you. 

“Ellie, please.” You begged. “Ellie, I need you to know,” you whimpered between kisses, and she began to walk you backward, your hips hitting the vanity, and she cleared it with a free hand, the other still holding your waist. “You are the only one.” 

She picked you up by your legs, noticing how little you weighed now, and sat you at the vanity, kissing down on your clavicles, chest, and licking your nipples. You tilted your head backward, leaning on the mirror. Ellie’s hands roamed the skirt of the dress, pulling it up and revealing your white underwear. She pulled it aside desperately. 

“Ellie, I love you.” You gasped as she slid two fingers inside your dripping entrance. You held her neck, trying to find support. She kissed you and panted on your ear. 

“Y/n, I love you. And I hope every single night you think about me, fucking you so hard and good.” 

You covered your lips with one hand, moaning hard and muffled. 

“That’s right.” She whispered and pressed her fully clothed body on yours, the fabric of her suit making you shiver, goosebumps showing on every inch of your skin. 

You moaned desperately, begging her to touch you, crying tears of pleasure, and your makeup getting smudged a little. 

The room filled with heat, and once again, you didn’t give a shit about anything. 

Fuck your family. 

Fuck that stupid fiancée. 

Fuck your fucking wedding. You just needed Ellie. 

You buckled your hips, making her fingers go deeper inside you. She held your neck with a hand, staring with her dark woods eyes, her mouth hanging open as she focused on every expression you gave her. Your eyebrows furrowed, and she nodded down at you. 

“Are you going to come for me, you pretty bride?” You nodded in desperation, your moans muffled by your hand, and vibrating on Ellie’s around your neck. She closed her fingers, pressing your throat. Your eyes rolled back and closed as a yellow light hit your eyelids, and you chased your orgasm, her fingers pumping your pussy steadily. 

You cried and squirmed against her body, snaking your waist against her torso as you came hard. She removed your hand from your lips and kissed you, her tongue grazing yours. 

As you rode down your orgasm, she kissed your jaw gently. 

“Oh, my God.” You breathed out and looked at her, chuckling. 

“We, um,—“ she stuttered as she pulled her fingers out of you, and you gasped with furrowed brows, “— need to fix you.” She stepped back and looked at you, legs spread wide over the vanity, your makeup products scattered on the floor, your hair messier, and the dress wrinkled. 

You both burst into laughter. 

That day, Ellie helped you put on your dress and fixed your hair with so much care that it was almost painful. 

You were still tearing up when Ellie closed the bathroom door, holding your stomach that was starting to hurt from laughter. The room still smelled like your own shampoo; Ellie inhaled behind you, back turned around, and finally faced you. 

She stared straight into your eyes, making you slow down your laugh until it turned into chuckles. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” You said, wiping the tears off your eyes. 

She stepped closer, testing you, the heat of her chest close to yours. But didn’t move, just looked. The nervousness you were feeling early that night faded away, diluted by the alcohol. Ellie’s face was pink, her eyes watery, and her parted lips indicated that she wanted to say something, but couldn’t bring herself to. 

You reached down for the hem of your shirt, and without taking your eyes off of her, pulled it up, slowly and painfully. Ellie’s gaze dropped to your body, revealed beneath the fabric. 

“What? Are you not going to take your clothes off?” You said softly, as if it were obvious and completely normal. 

She seemed so stiff, her jaw clenched, right hand closed in a fist, and her shoulders completely straightened. When the shirt reached your neck, you raised your arms to take it off, your hair falling perfectly over your back and chest, swirling into curls that framed your shoulders and face. Ellie swallowed hard. 

You smirked and threw the shirt to her face, walking away to get in the shower, turning it on and immediately drenching your body, still wearing a black bra and underwear. 

She pulled your shirt down and uncovered her face, your smell sticking on every inch of her nostrils, and when she opened her eyes, she caught a full glimpse of you: head tilted backward, neck exposed, and the curve of your back prominent, arms up and brushing your hair with the run of water on your face. Your tits seemed tight in that bra, the water pooling in the center and falling when it overflowed. Quick drops ran down your legs, stretching and switching the weight of your body, making your ass jiggle slightly. 

Her jaw dropped open, staring in disbelief. 

“Are you gonna stay there and just watch me, Ellie?” Your voice was turning velvety, seductive, with another intention she had never listened to before this day. 

She looked at her hands, still holding your Black Sabbath shirt. She carefully hung it next to a towel, peeled off her sleeveless shirt, zipped down her denim shorts, and dropped them, pooling around her feet. She stepped out and, still glancing at the floor, got into the shower, the sight of your own feet meeting her. She analyzed the black nail polish and sighed, the water wetting her hair. 

Your fingers grazed her arm, pulling her closer so she was completely under the shower. She flinched, raising her sight to you, meeting your eyes. The water was heavy on her eyelashes, making her blink rapidly to wipe it away. She started to lean on, glancing at your lips. This was it, right? You wanted her to kiss you. 

Your expression turned into a wide smile, and she hadn’t realized that your hand was on the shower faucet. You turned it around completely, shooting both of you with freezing water. 

“You, son of a -!!!!” 

The yelp of Ellie behind the door of the bathroom was heard in the whole house, followed by your burst of laughter. 

𖤓 ｡𖦹°‧ ⋆☀︎.

You shifted repeteadly on the bed, tangling your body in the blankets asleep to the point you had to open your eyes, head tight from the hangover, and tried to adjust your sight in the dark. You looked around and found the curtains of the window were pulled aside, showing the dark garden outside, with a couple of shadows in the background, probably bushes and fences. 

You placed a hand on your forehead: it was warm. You sat up, stretching your arms, and your shadow plastered on the wall beside your bed. You sighed and looked at your phone; it was five in the morning. 

Unable to fall back asleep, you passed around the kitchen, looking for a glass in the dark to get water. You drank twice and finally came back to the room. As you lay down, you reached for your phone and scrolled through the web comic Ellie was obsessed with. You couldn’t help but think that the main characters looked like you and her. You chuckled silently and gazed toward her bed: she was sleeping peacefully, one arm resting above her head and her legs spread wide under the blanket. 

After a couple of hours, around seven, the sun began painting the sky, turning it a light blue shade that colored the room. 

Ellie stirred and sighed deeply. She was about to wake up; you could feel it, so you turned around to face the direction of her bed. She blinked slowly, awakening and immediately catching your glance. 

“Hey.” Her deep, raspy voice scratched your brain. You smiled and whispered back a “hey.” 

She pulled aside the blanket, swinging her legs to the side, and staggered in your direction. She shushed you with her hand, making you giggle and drag your body to the side to make room for her. She sneaked under your blanket, brushing her legs with yours and cuddling next to you. 

“What are you doing?” She whispered with her eyes closed, head pressed on the corner of your pillow. You held your head with a hand, glancing down at her. 

“I’m reading the web comic.” You said softly, your breath caressing her hair. 

“Your breath stinks.” She said. 

“Yours too.” 

“I don’t mind.” 

You remained silent and finally laid your head down, facing Ellie, your breathing slow and easy. Your eyelids began to feel heavy, closing against your will and sending you into a deep sleep once again, this time, next to Ellie. 

𖤓 ｡𖦹°‧ ⋆☀︎.

The door closed, and your eyes shot open like two plates, only to find Ellie really close. You forgot you fell asleep next to her. She stirred and groaned, lifting the blanket to cover her face. You sat up quickly and bumped your head on the top bed. 

“Ouch!” Your hands shot up to your hair immediately. You looked around and found Jennie standing near the bed, folding her clothes, still in her pajamas. She was grinning disgustingly wide. 

“That was Sophie.” She mouthed and pointed a finger towards the door. 

Dani was in there, too. She shook her head in disbelief and continued to do her makeup. 

It was photo shoot day. 

𖤓 ｡𖦹°‧ ⋆☀︎.

You yawned and sat relaxed in the chair next to the pool. Sophie prepared breakfast for everyone and was now placing plates in front of everyone. 

“Here you go.” She chanted from behind you, leaning and brushing her tits on your shoulder. You ignored it and mumbled a sleepy “thanks.” 

Breakfast went by slowly, everyone talking about their recent interests like novels, anime, musicals, and movies. Sophie and Jennie were perky, laughing and thinking out loud, saying how hot whatever actor they were into at that moment was. 

Dani suggested that everyone should do their makeup and prepare the outfits they brought to take pictures in. You nodded, satisfied, and agreed. You knew it meant it was time to work. You loved taking pictures and even made a Pinterest moodboard with some inspo, thinking about which type of photo would suit each of your friends. 

Everyone stood and went inside, except for you and Sophie. You both picked up the dirty plates in silence. She stretched over the table, bumping her arm on your hand accidentally. 

“Sorry.” She said quickly. You smiled softly and shook your head. As you piled the glasses in a tower, she stood there just looking at you through narrowed eyes, studying the back of your waist, your neck exposed from your hair pulled up in a messy bun. “Do you like her or what?” 

“Who? The actress you were talking about?” You played dumb, you had to. 

“No. You know what I mean.” She set the plates down and rested a hand on the table. Not again. 

“I don’t, actually.” You couldn’t bring yourself to look her in the eyes. 

“I mean this Ellie stuff. What the fuck was she doing in your bed?” 

You scoffed. 

“Clearly sleeping.” 

“Yeah, well, I get that, but why?”

“Would it be weird as well if it were Jennie, or Dani, or even you?” You finally met her eye level, but didn’t raise your voice. You didn’t want to pick up a fight after all. 

“I guess not…” 

“Then what is the difference? Why are you acting as if she wasn’t your friend too? You are acting weird, Sophie. First, the stupid fuck, marry, kill game thing and now this.” You waved your hand towards the pool and sighed. 

“Whatever.” She rolled her eyes but stepped closer, her hot breath brushing your skin. “I know you’ve got things under control. Just don’t make me angry.” She placed a ghost kiss on your cheek that sent shivers down your spine and walked inside the house with the plates. 

You sighed, realizing you were blushing violently. That stupid itch rose in your blood again. You knew Sophie was pushing things hard; she wanted to make you lose control and end up making out with her. She looked at you as if she was sure you wanted her so badly, and it confused you because you didn’t, but she knew how to play the game: she made you feel wanted, she wasn't scared of you, and she even challenged you. But most importantly, she really thought you could be a top, and that turned you on wildly, mostly because you could prove a point to yourself. 

The wind brushed your hands and nose, messying your hair. You placed a loose strand behind your ear and grabbed the tower of glasses to bring to the kitchen. 

𖤓 ｡𖦹°‧ ⋆☀︎.

You took pictures of Dani and Jennie in the sun, their skin glowing gorgeous with sparkles from the water. They thanked you, and when Jennie offered to take your photos, you agreed. You told her you wanted to lie next to the pool, covering your face with a book, and wearing your bikini. 

She nodded as you showed her the references you saved, and snatched your phone, ready to snap them. You felt very self-conscious when it was time to take off your shirt, revealing your bikini top. Dani and Sophie were distracted, taking selfies inside the pool and drinking already. You approached a bench to leave your shirt, trying to go unnoticed, but as you bent to place the folded fabric, you caught Ellie staring again. She held a beer in her right hand, the left on her hip. She smirked and looked away, but you couldn’t help but look down and see your cleavage. 

You ignored her, pretending nothing happened, and turned around to go in Jennie’s direction. 

“I think you should do a splashdown, so your body is glowy in the pictures.” She suggested, lowering her shades to study you. “Oh, and that?” She pointed to your denim shorts. “That has to go.” 

You breathed in, shoulders raising nervously, and nodded. Keep it cool. Keep it cool. 

You unbuttoned the shorts and zipped them down, allowing them to fall to your feet. Your body was now completely exposed in a different way from yesterday, and after the shower you took with Ellie, you felt constantly observed.

You closed your eyes and hid behind your sunglasses, as if that would make you go away. You walked back to the side of the pool, walking past Dani and Sophie and into the pool. The water was freezing, and you still didn’t even flinch, tiny under Ellie’s narrowed eyes. She chuckled, noticing your face, and turned around, walking into the kitchen. 

Your shoulders relaxed, and you dipped your body to neck level, immediately walking up the stone stairs past your friends. They howled and yelled at you. 

“Stop it, you guys!” You blushed violently as they kept telling you how hot you looked. 

Jennie took pictures of you lying on a towel next to the pool. You felt your body relax when Ellie wasn’t around, eating you with her eyes. You started panicking, lowkey wanting her to make a move. On the other hand, Sophie didn’t seem to care at all until you were close to her. 

“Girl, these pictures are fire!” Jennie said as you stood up, water droplets running down your back, legs, abs, and neck. You leaned closer, shielding your eyes from the hot sun with your hand to see the cellphone screen. There, darkened, was a photo that seemed hard to believe it was you: your tits were round, perfectly shaped under the bikini, and the tattoo on your sideboob, which wasn’t always exposed, shone in your skin. You gasped, hugged her, and thanked her. 

Everyone paced around, minding their business after the pictures; some were editing and posting right away, while the rest prepared their own drinks to get in the pool. 

You walked back into the kitchen and found Ellie texting on her phone. You narrowed your eyes. 

“Is that Dina?” You asked, remembering the name of the girl she mentioned she was dating. 

“Huh?” She flinched and put her phone away in a swift movement. “No, no. It was Joel.” She said quickly and went back to fish a beer from the fridge. 

“Right…” You began skeptically. “I want to take pictures of you as well.” You flipped your bangs, tossing them to uncover your forehead. You caught her eyes staring. 

“Um, I-I don’t think I’m good at that.” She admitted, dropping her gaze to her feet, leaning back against the kitchen island. 

“It doesn’t matter. I can make you look good.” You stepped forward and grazed your fingers on her arm. Her skin reacted immediately. You smiled and pulled her outside. 

“Y/n, come on.” She groaned, resisting your pull. 

“Ellie, listen to me.” You faced her, you breathed close to her lips. “I am not going to make you do something you don’t like.” 

You kept pulling her, grabbing her denim shirt that was on a chair next to the pool, sun-drying. You walked back into the garden, next to a tree that leaned its leaves like a cascade to the floor. 

“Stand there.” You placed Ellie facing the tree, and ran your hands through the denim shirt, helping her put it on. She slid her arms in, sighing heavily. “Stop it. I’m not even going to snap your face. Just do as I say.” You giggled, and she finally nodded. 

You told her to look back into the landscape and play with her hair in her hands. You snapped a lot of pictures from the back in silence. Then you stretched your hand and pulled at the shirt, revealing her shoulder a little bit. She looked at you, and you just smiled. She turned again and raised her shoulder a bit. You snapped a final picture and handed her your phone. 

She scrolled through the photos in silence, eyes meticulously studying every single one. 

“Wait—“ she said. You couldn’t help but play with your fingers in the meantime, nervousness growing in your stomach. The silence grew wider. “— these are actually really good!” Her eyes shot from the screen to yours. They shone in her particular green, making your throat go dry. You chuckled, relieved she liked them. 

𖤓 ｡𖦹°‧ ⋆☀︎.

“Okay, so, never have I ever gotten drunk in my grandparents' house.” Said Dani, giggling. 

Noon was painting the sky a faint pink, making the water look like it was from another dimension. Cicadas were singing in the background, making the summer feel like a warm blanket around your body. You and Ellie still swam inside the pool, while the rest sat by the pool, drinks in hand and wrapped in their towels. 

“No way! I could never.” Said Jennie and scoffed, while Ellie, Sophie, and you gave a sip of your drink. “You guys are the worst! And Dani, you didn’t drink! So you’ve never gotten drunk in your grandma's house.” 

“That’s right. I don’t think she would be happy about it. Besides, she lives out of town, so I hardly see her.” She looked down at you and Ellie. “I feel like I shouldn’t ask about you.” 

“I mean, if Joel’s mom counts as my grandma, of course I’ve drunk in her house… with Joel.” Said Ellie, and Jennie couldn’t help but laugh out loud. “No! You— you shut up, Jennie. I can’t even— “ 

“Hey, hey, leave the kid alone.” You said, splashing water on her face. She grimaced and coughed. You both got caught in a splashing war, swimming around and getting everyone else wet. Sophie stood up, groaning, followed by Dani and Jennie. 

“No, guys, stop, the water is freezing.” Said Dani. 

“I’m going to take a shower. It’s my turn to make dinner.” Said Jennie, suspiciously eyeing you. “Wanna come, Sophie and Dani?” They agreed, excited to prepare something that wasn’t alcohol. 

Ellie’s laugh behind the splashing water was raspy. 

“Okay, okay! Stop, I give up.” She said with her hands up, but you didn’t miss the chance to splash her straight in the face. She choked but wiped the water out, shaking her head to get her hair out of her face. “Never have I ever…” she began, which made you stop automatically, listening with narrowed eyes, “swam topless.” 

Your jaw dropped. She laughed. 

“What, you haven’t?” She approached the edge of the pool to grab her beer and sip it. 

“No.” You admitted shyly. “Have you?” She nodded. She smirked. 

“What are the chances that we swim topless?” Ellie looked at you, her lips behind the can hiding a smile. “We say a number from one to three at the same time. Suppose we say the same one. We have to do it.” You glanced at the door that led to the kitchen, where everyone sounded busy.  “One… two… three…” 

“One!” You both said at the same time. 

You bit your lip. 

Ellie jumped a little to reach the edge, leaving the beer next to the pool. The water swayed and circled, making waves around her waist. She went down into the water, leaving bubbles behind, and the only noise floating was the cicadas. 

When she went back up, she was holding her top between her fingers, a crooked smile plastered on her face. You blinked and just then realized you had stopped breathing. You couldn’t rip your eyes off her face, staring intently at her eyebrows, avoiding dropping your gaze under the water. 

“Go on!” She said and threw the top out of the pool. 

You wanted to give away a laugh, but it came out like a whimper. You just closed your eyes and took a deep breath before going under the water, undoing the knot of your bikini. You let it float to the surface and used your tiptoes to push yourself away, swimming under the water to the opposite side of the pool. 

As you rose back up to get some air, Ellie was already swimming around happily, not even looking at you. Her bare back was exposed and distorted by the water's waves. 

The silence spread, echoing the splashing sounds you both made as you swam. You looked up to the sky, now purple, as darkness began to cover you. You didn’t know how much time you spent just swimming, but something about being almost naked made you feel so free. Water hugged you everywhere, and any single wall that could keep you apart from nature was shattered; and yet it was stupid because you were swimming in water kept clean by chemicals. 

You closed your eyes and pictured yourself in a wide and green lake, one that had pebbles at the bottom, hitting your toes whenever you stepped. You let your body fall back, floating and exposing your skin to the sky. You extended your arms, and time seemed to slow down, the suppressed and deep noise of the water filling your ears. 

You opened your eyes slowly. You could tell Ellie was staring. 

You didn’t care. 

You breathed deeply, turning into a sigh. 

You sank, water covering your face. You moved around until your chest hit the bottom of the pool tiles. Using your toes once again to push yourself up the surface, your face was the first to come out, kept tilted backward so your hair stayed pulled back by the heavy water. You ran both of your hands over your face, wiping it. 

As you opened your eyes, you found Ellie really close, her breath just inches apart from your nose. Her eyes were fixed on your lips. You couldn’t help but part them, as you studied her freckles, now multiplied because of the summer sun. 

She leaned painfully slow towards you, her fingers gracing your waist under the water and sending shivers down your spine. Her emerald and deep eyes blinked from your lips to your chest. She pulled you closer, pressing your chests together. 

Her lips craved yours and were just an inch away when the kitchen door swung open. You pushed her away and splashed her, pretending to play in the water. 

“Guys, come! Dinner is almost ready.” Said Dani, leaning on the door frame. 

When Ellie blocked you, you decided it was for the best; you were risking way too much in your relationship by staying friends with her. You couldn't ditch three years for a one-night stand. 

Weeks went by, and you still couldn’t figure out why your chest felt empty all of a sudden. A void was placed there and never left. You even felt the need to start exercising, running, and even eating less. You started smoking more recently. 

It was lonely to go through that all by yourself and in silence because let’s be honest, how would you explain to people that you were mourning a girl that was not your girlfriend and didn’t even hold hands? 

Life felt like you were going through a secret break-up, and that made you feel stupid. 

Your world crumbled down when you found out your boyfriend was cheating on you. The void in your chest grew wider with every second. 

First, it was a message. Then a late-night errand. Then, you secretly followed him until you found him with a girl whose name you didn’t know, and you never even saw her face. You never suspected. What was this? 

Everything felt like a dark joke: back then, you even tried to avoid staring at Ellie for way too long, feeling guilty for going out for lunch with her. You wished you had kissed her that night she accidentally brushed her nose on yours at a club. You wished you had listened closely to your boyfriends atitudes. 

Your best friend, Jamie, was the first to find out. You stormed into her apartment with a bag full of clothes, your laptop, and your whole collection of sunglasses. You had her password and climbed the building's stairs, the wind messing your hair and catching it in your tears. You banged on her door, and as soon as she opened it, you let out all of your tears and loud whines. 

You stayed with her for a week, helping out in the kitchen, cooking, and doing the grocery shopping for both of you. 

Everything felt like torture, even taking a shower pained you in a way you didn’t know water could burn. Days seemed so blurry, and you started taking long shifts, even when you didn’t have to, just to keep your mind busy. On the weekend, you spent the nights drinking out and in Jamie’s apartment. After that, your ex-boyfriend had taken out all of his stuff from your apartment, and you finally moved back.

When you faced the return all by yourself, you dropped to your knees, finding half of everything missing. Your toothbrush stood alone in a glass on the bathroom counter. There was only one cup left in the kitchen, a single pillow on your bed, and his desk was missing in the studio. You sobbed heavily and stayed on the floor for over thirty minutes, not daring to cross the living room. 

But on Friday night, as you exited the door of your office, rage caught your throat. You drove crazily fast back to your place and, in a maniac episode, did your makeup, dressed up, and took a cab downtown. You entered the first bar you came to and drank heavily. You stumbled around, avoiding every interaction with people, but couldn't help but get caught under many stares: you were a hot girl drinking alone and singing to the songs the DJ was playing. 

As you tripped your way to the bathroom, your purse crushed under your armpit and your high heels wobbly, your phone buzzed a few times. The screen illuminated your face in the dark bathroom cubicle. 

y/n please forgive me lemme fix everything 

are you crazy? fuck you 

You didn’t care to text back as quickly as you received her message. 

i know i was stupid please where are u? 

nowere 

are you drunk? 

what do you care you jerk 

let me get to you i need to talk to you 

no your fucking loss 

You immediately blocked her. The next day, there were a few lost calls; you deleted them and erased your whole chat with Ellie. 

But the thing is, trying to move on in life was so fucking hard. Jamie told you you should sleep with someone: “A one-night stand is the answer to all of your problems, girl. You don’t even need to ask their name. Besides, Ellie did you so wrong, don’t even think about her.” 

She dragged you to a club that weekend after blocking Ellie for a month. Breathing felt a little easier, walking didn’t seem like a challenge anymore, and, most importantly, you were starving from sleeping with someone. Convinced that it, indeed, was the answer to all of your problems, you did a messy glitter makeup, put on a tight black dress with high heels, and marched downtown with Jamie. She kept telling you that she was pretty sure you were going to get laid that night, and that you turned it into a mantra. 

Being close to your thirties and going clubbing in this state made you feel like a teenager, but you kept telling yourself that you were young and hot, but seeing the twenty-one-year-old girls walking around made you feel so insecure and a bit stupid. 

You sighed as you ordered a drink in the bar, and Jamie dragged you to a dark corner where people were standing, waiting to get more drunk and dance. 

You sipped the drink fast. Night became a blur. People were passing around you, a couple sliding their hands around your waist, and you accepting them for a while, only to push them eventually and take trips to the restroom. The music was loud, Jamie was dancing, and refilling your drinks quickly. Your head was spinning. 

You walked back to the dance floor, the lights making a mess of your sight. You narrowed your eyes to look for Jamie, but froze in place when you saw Jesse. He was Ellie’s best friend. 

Shit. 

You turned around and stumbled between people dancing drunk, found Jamie with a group of friends that she had met there, and pushed your way around. 

“Jesse’s here.” You yelled over the music. 

“What?” She didn’t hear you. 

“I said Jesse’s here!” 

“I can’t hear you!” 

You gave up, then shook your head and turned your attention to your surroundings. Could she be here? The bass of the music was making your heart pound, as if a hammer was hitting your head. 

You tried to ignore the heavy feeling of nausea climbing from your stomach and began dancing again. You shook her out of your brain. You were not going to let her win. She was an idiot. You swayed your hips, your hair getting in your face as you spun around, shaking your head to the rhythm of the music. 

People seemed to become puppets; you couldn’t catch a full glimpse of their faces, but minutes later, you locked eyes with someone a couple of feet away. 

Her face was hard, an expression hard to read: jaw tight, hands wrapped around a blonde girl who danced, rubbing her body to the one you had been avoiding for months now. 

Ellie Williams was staring into your soul, back straight as a stick, chin up, long neck exposed in your direction. She sipped her drink slowly, allowing the girl to dance down on her. You stared. You really just stared. 

Time seemed to slow down, everything and everyone in slow motion around you, as if the only thing that mattered right there was holding her glare. Your chest was heaving, trying to catch a breath, the sweat of the club running down the side of your neck, hair sticking to your skin. 

Suddenly, something snapped, and as the music pounded your ears, you broke eye contact, turned around, and hurried down to lock yourself in a restroom cubicle. You held your chest, panicking. Of all places, she had to be here right now? Your throat went dry, your head spun, and the void in your chest came back, emptying your existence. You swallowed a whimper and tried to get your phone to get yourself a cab, after all, Jamie was having fun. The keys and messages were blurry, making you realize you were drunk. You groaned and squeezed your head with frustration, the phone glued to your temple. 

“Shit, shit, shit, shit. Okay, don’t panic.” You whispered to yourself. You steadied your breath and inhaled. You had to ask for Jamie’s help to get out of there as soon as you could. 

You unlocked the cubicle, opening the door slowly, only to find someone already waiting outside. 

“Excuse me-“ you began, but the girl pushed you back in, squirming her way in. She placed a hand on your mouth. “Hmp-“

“What the hell are you doing here?” Ellie glared down at you. “Don’t answer.” She commanded and pushed you against the wall. 

She smelled like smoke, alcohol and pine. You shook her hand off your face. 

“Fuck y-“ 

But she gripped your face, a strong hand making your head lay back on the wall. 

“Shut up.” 

She kissed you, forcing her lips on yours, and you couldn’t hold back anymore. You hated her, yes, but you hated her as much as you wanted her. 

Her kiss was so demanding, biting, licking, and even spitting on your mouth, that you couldn’t help but whimper, your legs giving up and allowing her knee to press hard on your core. 

“Don’t make a fucking sound.” She said in a breath as she parted and started pulling down your drees, leaving you in your underwear. 

“Ellie, don’t-“ 

But she kissed you again, trailing down to your chin, your neck, your clavicles, and down your chest, her back bent forward and her hair releasing a soft scent. You moaned as she pressed her whole body on you, snaking her fingers past your red thong and rubbing them against your clit. 

She straightened and looked down at you as she masturbated you, and placed her free hand over your lips, suppressing the moans that rolled from your throat. 

She pushed you harder against the wall, eating you alive with her eyes, smirking as you were a pathetic mess under her touch, not even caring about your hands weaklily pushing her away. 

The fabric of her body fully cloathed on yours naked, made your eyes go wide, as she reached down and pumped her fingers inside of you. 

“Yeah. Doesn’t feel so good to ignore me now, right y/n?” Her rasp and deep voice brushing your cheeks, her breath close to your face. She groaned, pleased by the sight of your hands finally gripping her shoulders, looking for some support. 

As your breathing became high-pitched, looking for air, a knot in your stomach about to get undone, your eyes rolled back, and your pussy made wet, sloppy sounds, Ellie pulled back. 

She narrowed her eyes and glared at you as if you were her prey, right there, cornered in the cubicle. She raised her fingers, dripping with your wetness, and licked them without ripping her eyes off you. Realization hit you hard. You bent to pick up your dress, trying to hide behind the thin fabric, hunching your shoulders and feeling tiny under her eyes. 

She smirked. 

“Don’t you dare to fucking block me again.” She said and wouldn't allow you to talk back. She pressed a flat hand on your chest, pushing your back straight against the wall. She allowed herself to get a full look of your naked body. 

She unlocked the door and went out, leaving you completely naked, teary, hair undone, makeup smudged, and with a huge need to come. 

Summer meant two things: a girls’ trip and lots of alcohol. You were growing close with a group of girls that you met during your first job at an agency. 

Working in creative fields meant a diverse group of people. Jennie, for example, was a graphic designer who was bisexual and your best friend. You had so much in common that it was no surprise when you started hanging out every weekend and even on weekdays. 

Sophie was a human resources assistant, a straight girl who had been dating her boyfriend for over ten years, but with a tendency to hit on you and Jennie whenever she was drunk, especially you. 

Dani was the mom of the group, a single straight girl who worried about everything and nothing. You met her on your first job; she was your first graphic designer and your mentor as you learned everything.

And finally, there was Ellie, the group's lesbian. Her whole personality was being a cool nerd, even though she didn’t realize it. She was the one that everyone relied on, maybe because she had masculine tendencies, and the girls couldn’t help but feel attracted to her. You liked her, so she started hanging around because you met her smoking on the balcony of the agency. She was a project manager in a different department, but she was so cool that you insisted on inviting her to lunch with all of you. She grew fond of the group. 

This summer, just like last summer, Dani was planning a road trip to her hometown. Her parents owned a country house with a huge green area and, most importantly, a pool. You were the most excited and brought 5 swimsuits because you were bad at picking the one that suited you best. 

𖤓 ｡𖦹°‧ ⋆☀︎.

When you and Jennie arrived at Dani’s house, Ellie and Sophie were already there, chatting tiredly since it was so early in the morning. Jennie insisted on leaving at 8, so there you were, walking down the street, carrying two heavy bags each. 

“I hate you. We could’ve left at 11!” You hissed at Jennie. 

“Queen, you know if we left later, we wouldn’t be able to enjoy the pool. It’s just three days, remember? Besides, it’s a three-hour-long drive.” She was so perky and happy to be this early. 

You sighed and nodded, reaching where Ellie was leaning her back on the trunk of Dani’s car. She had her arms crossed under her chest, a long-sleeved denim blouse that hung loosely around her body. She side smiled at you, reaching out to help you carry one of your bags. 

“That’s heavy!” She groaned, pulled you into a hug, and kissed your cheek. You noticed that every time she had the chance to greet you, she would plant a kiss. 

“Yeah, you wouldn’t know since your hair is not even that long.” You yawned and bumped cheeks with Sophie as well. She stared down at you, admiring your road trip outfit that basically consisted of an oversized t-shirt and a pair of black sweatpants. 

“What does that mean?” 

“You probably don’t need a bunch of hair products.” Said Sophie as if it were the most obvious thing. 

“Okay, you guys are acting so stereotypical right now.” She opened the trunk and threw the bags inside, Jennie helping with the rest. 

“Where’s Dani?” She asked when they finally ended up playing Tetris with everyone’s luggage in the trunk. 

“Oh, right. She said she forgot the house keys.” Ellie pointed to the building behind them, where Dani lived with her sister. 

You spaced out for a couple of minutes, wearing shades since you were not wearing any makeup and were pretty sure you had baggy eyes. Ellie stood close to you, both leaning on the trunk. She bumped her shoulder slightly on yours. 

“Hey, are you okay?” She asked softly, catching your attention. Sophie and Jennie were squealing about something you were not listening to. So Ellie took the shot to talk to you. 

“Yeah, yeah. I’m just sleepy. I was hoping I could sleep in the car.” 

“You are always sleepy, though.” She chuckled. She dropped her gaze to her converse as she stepped on a pebble and kicked it away. “Did you stay up late reading again?” 

“Maybe…” You admitted as you readjusted the shades, pushing them on your nose bridge. 

She glanced at you, capturing a couple of moles in your cheekbones. She smiled. 

Just then, Dani came running down the stairs and in your direction. 

“Found them!” She shook the keys in the air. Everyone cheered and walked to the car doors to hop in. You were standing behind Ellie, next to her, hoping Dani had forgotten she had asked you to be in the passenger seat. 

“y/n you said you were coming with me!” She said and pulled you to the front door. You scratched your neck and said in a monotone, “Oh, yeah, I forgot”. 

𖤓 ｡𖦹°‧ ⋆☀︎.

Ellie was sitting right behind you, with Jennie in the middle and Sophie on the other side. They were talking loudly about a new web comic Ellie told them to read, and now they were obsessed with it, too. You and Dani gossiped about work and ranted on your only guy's boyfriend from the group. He was too old for him and was probably manipulating him into doing lots of stupid things. 

An hour into the road trip, you had to ask Dani to pull over at a Buc-ees to go to the restroom. As you were about to open the door, you could see that Ellie was staring at you from the side-view mirror of the car. She immediately looked away, but you couldn’t help noticing her flustered reaction. 

Jennie was too perceptive about these things and told you multiple times before the trip that she was pretty sure Ellie was into you. You didn’t believe her, because you knew she was kind of dating a girl from her new office. You shook off the thought and ran to the restroom. 

𖤓 ｡𖦹°‧ ⋆☀︎.

As you arrived at the house, everyone was too excited, running to get to pick their beds. Sophie and Dani shared a queen-sized bed, Jennie and you on a bunk bed, her on top of course. And Ellie accepted the individual one on the corner of the room. To be fair, it was the best, next to a cute window with long translucent curtains. 

Everyone began changing into their swimsuits. Jennie and Dani wore some kimonos to cover up a little. You and Ellie were similar: you cared too little and walked around almost naked. She wore a bikini-like sports bra that accentuated her curves and slim figure. You chose the one-piece black one you brought, but that covered so little of your ass that it could pretty well be a thong. Sophie did her full makeup and took so long getting ready that you and Ellie made a couple of drinks and went outside to lie by the pool, laughing loudly. 

“I told you you were gonna like it too!” 

“I mean, I’ve read just eight chapters. It’s not that much. Sophie’s way more interested in it,” you said as you sipped on your Bloody Mary. Ellie knew you preferred these drinks; she watched a string of red juice drip from your chin as you wiped it with your fingers. She had to clear her throat before speaking again. 

“I think she did it in the beginning to get along with me, but she ended up obsessed. She’s even reading fanfiction about it!” Ellie chuckled, putting on a pair of round shades. You laughed and nodded but didn’t reply. The sound of the cicadas extending the moment, the hot sun on your backs, and the pool shimmering next to you. As you glanced at her, you noticed her expression had changed. “Say, y/n. Can I ask you something?”

“Sure. Is everything okay?” 

“Yeah- no. Totally. I was just wondering if you have noticed Sophie’s … hm,” you raised an eyebrow, “behavior?” She ended up with a word she was not sure she was using correctly. 

“Um, what do you mean?” Your voice switched and became serious. Of course, you had noticed Sophie. 

“I’ve got the impression that she’s hitting on you,” Ellie said finally. She was being so direct that you couldn’t figure out why she was asking. 

“Well, I mean, she has a boyfriend and shit…” 

“Yeah, I get that, but- I can’t stop thinking about that one time we slept over at Jennie’s.” 

“Oh my god, yeah, I remember.” Your voice grew higher, almost squealing, because you even talked about it with Jennie, but didn’t dare to bring it up with Ellie. “She was holding my hand while watching movies, which made me a bit nervous, but I don’t think she does it that way.” Ellie stared at you with an expression you couldn’t read, blinking slowly behind the shades. 

“Right,” she finally said, and the rest of the group exited the house, carrying a speaker that was already playing music loudly. They joined you by the pool. 

𖤓 ｡𖦹°‧ ⋆☀︎.

After a couple of drinks, you were sitting inside the pool in the area where a couple of seats were in a half circle. 

Jennie and Dani were playing retro songs, dancing with their shades on and arms up. Ellie was just chilling quietly and chuckling at Jennie every now and then. Sophie was moving closer to you. 

“y/n.” she whined. Ellie immediately turned her attention to you. “I’m kind of pissed off at you.” 

“What? why?” you laughed. 

“Come over, I need to tell you something.” She pulled you by the arm, swimming a couple of feet away. 

“Right, you lesbians! Don’t kiss here, there are cameras.” Jennie yelled, her arms up, dancing to Pitbull. 

“You know he’s canceled, right?!” you shouted back, turning your head only to catch Ellie’s death stare. 

“y/n I’m pissed because you killed me!” said Sophie, demanding your attention. 

“What?!” You stared blankly at her, confusion from your eyebrows to your mouth in a grimace. 

“You know that one time we were playing fuck, marry, and kill. You chose to marry Jennie, which I get, but then to fuck Ellie! You are so mean. Why did you kill me?” 

“Are you serious right now?” you asked, laughing. 

“Dead serious!” The way her words were coming out slurred made you realize she was drunk. You had to hold back from laughing at her pout. 

“Well, I- I don’t know what to say.” 

“Is it because it’s easier to get to sleep with Ellie?” 

“Are you jealous?” You shot at her, raising an eyebrow. 

There was this itch, this stupid itch that rose in your blood whenever you were drinking and realized Sophie was hitting on you. because you knew she was so desperate that it made you feel wanted. 

“I’m not jealous, I just want to know why her and not me.” She swam around you, making you turn around, in the process catching Ellie’s eyes, burning holes in your skin. Why was she acting like that? Did you make something to piss her off? 

“Well, Ellie is hot,” you said, smirking directly at her, making Sophie groan and get in the way, so she blocked Ellie’s vision from your perspective. 

“And I’m not?!” 

“You are! But you know you are not my type.” 

“You are mine,” she got closer, but you had to swim away. 

“Sophie, let’s stop this,” you whispered, suddenly very self-aware.

You couldn’t help but feel bad for making Ellie sound crazy: at this point, it was pretty obvious Sophie was hitting on you. This was probably because she liked to get attention, not because she actually liked you. When Sophie began swimming back to the steps-sitting-spots where everyone else was, you paused for a brief second, when you were caught under Ellie’s death stare. She had her arms stretched, resting on the pool's edge, fists closed tight. She rolled her eyes and looked away, gazing towards the garden. 

“You guys, I’m getting cold and hungry. We are losing sunlight.” Said Dani as she stepped out, water dripping from her legs. 

Jennie squealed and jumped out as well, Sphie trailing them. 

“Oh my god! The alcohol just hit me!” Said Dani and grabbed her head, holding it steady. 

“That’s because of body temperature changes,” Ellie mumbled,  stood up, the water running down her limbs. She stared down at you, still swimming. “Are you coming?” 

“Yeah, I’ll be there in a sec.” You replied, feeling tiny under her gaze. She scoffed and turned around, leaving you alone in the pool. 

𖤓 ｡𖦹°‧ ⋆☀︎.

The night was spreading like a blanket now, the sky turning purple and finally a deep blue when you got out of the shower. You were the last one to clean up after the drunk swimming and chatting. You looked at your reflection in the mirror, your skin glowing in a thin layer of water and sun-kissed moles. 

You heard movement outside the bathroom door; it was Sophie and Dani pacing in the kitchen, figuring out how to cook dinner. 

“You cut the tomatoes!” 

“I hate the feeling of raw tomatoes in my hands! You do it!” 

You chuckled and hurried out, waving at them and getting inside the shared room, hoping to find Jennie alone to tell her about the pool’s incident. Instead, you found Ellie sitting on the edge of her bed, head down with wet hair, looking for something in her backpack. 

“Oh, I’m sorry.” You said as if you walked on her naked. 

She glanced up, her eyes glowing in the warm lamp light beside her bed, the only source of light in the room.

“Huh?” She blurted with her eyebrows furrowed. “Why?” 

You stood there awkwardly, your hand gripping the towel tightly around your body. 

“Thought you were changing.” You said finally and walked over to your bag, zipping it open to look for a shirt and a pair of shorts. 

“I’m not the one naked in here.” She said and went back to fishing her backpack. She pulled out a pair of sandals and placed them on the floor. 

Your shoulders stiffened, and your throat went dry. The realization hit you hard: you had never changed in front of Ellie. Was that on purpose? Did you avoid her? You sure changed in front of Dani and Jennie, but never in front of Ellie, not to mention Sophie. 

Your head was still spinning from the drinks you had in the pool, so you held for balance from the top bed. You forced yourself to swallow a knot that formed up inside you, thinking of what to answer, but then you heard Ellie’s bed creak. She walked past you, not even looking back, and left the room, closing the door behind her. 

What was wrong with her? 

𖤓 ｡𖦹°‧ ⋆☀︎.

You had to lie down for about an hour to stop your head from spinning and a sudden heat rising from your stomach. You were a little tipsy, so when Dani came looking for you, she found you half-asleep, your hair a curly mess, on top of the towel, wearing a single shirt that reached your thighs, exposing a lot of skin. 

“Hey, y/n, we ordered some pizza.” 

“I thought we were going to cook?”

“We burned the hot dogs by accident.” 

You chuckled and nodded, eyes still closed. 

“I’m coming.” 

She left the room quietly. A couple of minutes later, you stood up and followed her to the kitchen, finding everyone already gathering around the pizza. 

“Hey, y/n,” Sophie whined and reached out for you. “Here, have some pizza. Are you okay?” She was eating her second slice. 

You couldn’t help but glance briefly at Ellie, but she was too focused on preparing another drink. 

“You want one?” She asked you simply without ripping her eyes off her glass. 

“Yes, please.” You answered softly.

“I was thinking we can watch an episode of The Office.” Said Jennie, smiling widely. 

“Hell yeah! I’m in!” Cheered Dani. Sophie laughed and grabbed her plate to go to the living room. 

Everyone left, leaving you standing beside Ellie, who was quickly preparing another Bloody Mary for you. When she was done, she slid the glass next to your hand, grabbed her plate, and as she was going to leave, you grabbed her arm softly. 

“Wait.” 

She stopped. 

“What?” 

“Did I say something that upset you?” 

“No.” 

“Then-“ 

“I hate when you play dumb, that’s all.” She said, shaking your hand off. 

“Hey, Ellie. I’m sorry.” You turned and leaned on the tall kitchen island, giving her a worried look. “You were right. I was just brushing off the topic; I didn’t want to make things awkward with Sophie.” You admitted in a low voice. 

Ellie analyzed you from head to toe, as if she were figuring out if you were telling the truth. She did take her time to see your legs, the shirt riding short over your knees, mid-thighs. 

“Okay. I’m still pissed off at you.” She smirked and walked away. You groaned and trailed her, plopping next to her on the couch. You could see Sophie flinch when Ellie sat next to her, stealing you from being close to her. You smiled. 

As Jennie played the episode, Dani turned off the lights, leaving a lamp behind the couch on, the ambiance turning cozy. Everyone smelled of shampoo, fresh coconut, and pizza. 

You didn’t actually like The Office, but Ellie always had an absurd sense of humor. She was laughing constantly whenever Michael Scott appeared on screen. You couldn’t help but steal glances when her raspy laugh echoed in the room. She leaned her crossed leg on top of yours, resting her knee on your lap as if it were a casual coincidence. You quietly exhaled, releasing all the air in your lungs. Her skin was soft and moisturized by a corporal cream, probably. You felt goosebumps whenever she moved, brushing your skin. 

She shifted her sitting position and pressed her arm on yours, which only raised the heat in your stomach again. Your head started spinning, mouth watering as her scent reached your nose. You couldn’t focus on the episode again, the scenes replaying in a loop, as if you were in a nightmare in which your back was glued to the couch. You wanted Ellie to touch you so bad. That was all you could think about. 

You finally snapped back to reality when she stood up abruptly, and so did everyone else, commenting on how funny the episode was. You looked around, disoriented, and blinked. Ellie noticed but didn’t say anything, just smirked at you sipping her drink. Her cheeks were growing pink, probably because of the alcohol. 

𖤓 ｡𖦹°‧ ⋆☀︎. 

“Truth or dare?” Asked Jennie with a smile that scared the hell out of you. 

“Truth.” Nodded Sophie. 

“Who do you think is most likely to fall for someone who doesn’t like them back?” 

“What, from the five of us?” Jennie nodded; Sophie thought for a bit, and, of course, answered immediately. “I believe y/n is the type to fall for a straight girl and suffer in silence about it.” She seemed satisfied. You froze in your place, drink halfway to your lips. You couldn’t help but scoff. 

“Speak for Ellie, that’s not my curse.” You blurted, alcohol starting to show in your words. 

“What the fuck does that mean?” Ellie shot back with a raised eyebrow. 

“Your friend here thinks I’m a top.” You said, and Jennie laughed hysterically. 

“No fucking way,” Ellie said in a serious voice, crackling and snorting. 

“What? Why are you guys laughing? I do believe y/n would fall for a straight girl…” But you cut Sophie mid-sentence.

“Oh, just say you want to fuck me already.” You pointed an angry, long nail at her. Ellie gawed and gazed from Sophie to you. 

“Oh, come on,” Sophie mumbled. “Truth or dare?” She said to Dani. 

“Dare.” 

“I dare you to film a cringy TikTok and post it on your Instagram main story.” 

“Nope. I’ll take the vodka shot.” 

Everyone laughed as she drank the shot while Jennie showed the reference to the TikTok she would’ve done. 

“How the hell do you get these?!” Ellie couldn’t stop laughing, tearing up. 

“It’s pure dedication to being chronically online!” She said as she showed her more TikToks.

“Ellie, truth or dare?” Dani said in a raspy voice, the vodka still burning her throat. 

“Dare.” 

“I dare you to shower with y/n.” 

Jennie and Sophie gasped, but you and Ellie froze, smiles turning into pressed lips on your faces. 

“Um-“ Ellie scratched her cheek. “I don’t think-“ 

“Why not?” You interrupted her, sipping the sixth Bloody Mary she prepared for you after the pizza. She bit her lip. 

“You either do that, or take a shot,” Jennie said, slipping her comment as a matter-of-fact. 

“Okay, we’ll do it.” Ellie finally agreed, sighing, flustered, and brushing her hands on her shorts. “But first, Jennie, truth or dare?” 

“Truth, I’m not dumb. You’ll want to get back at me.” She said, flipping her hair. 

“Who was the oldest guy you’ve slept with?” 

You spat your drink, caught off guard, breaking into a hysterical laugh. 

“Ew!!!!” Ellie yelped when she found herself covered in red. You couldn’t stop laughing. “You are a jerk! What’s so funny?!” 

“Trust me,” you hiccuped, “you don’t want to know.” You said between laughs. 

Jennie stood next to Ellie, who seemed so confused and scared at the same time. You and Dani were reacting to the question. Dani bit back a laugh.

“Let me hold your hand while I say this.” Jennie grabbed Ellie’s hand, looking at her straight into her eyes. “It was Joel.” 

“Okay.” Ellie raised her eyebrows in disgust and shook off Jennie’s hand. “I- I didn´t need to know that. You are disgusting.” 

She walked away from her, circling the kitchen’s island to reach your place. She took your hand and dragged you to the bathroom, stomping away from the laughter of the rest of the girls. 

When you turned 24, it was about time you moved out of your parents' house. You got a job across town and weren’t feeling like you should drive more than 20 minutes to get there. Besides, you were still single and couldn’t bring anyone at all to your parents' house for obvious reasons. Then it happened: a whole renewed apartment, two bedrooms and one bathroom, a spacious kitchen, and a living room with exotic wallpaper was getting free the next month. The rent was considerably cheap, and you knew you would be stupid if you didn’t take the chance. 

The first thing you moved into your new apartment was your library: six heavy boxes containing all your books. You even had to donate two whole boxes of your old favorite novels, but let’s be honest, you weren't going to read them again. You preferred to keep the nostalgic memory rather than realize they were actually bad. 

Jesse helped you carry the boxes up to your apartment. No elevator, by the way. He was sweating heavily as your dad just stared him down, claiming he was having painful back aches. Your mom was already chirping in the kitchen, preparing some sandwiches for all to eat in the empty living room. Sitting on the floor in a circle, you all chatted and cheered for your new apartment. 

The first months were complicated: a broken pipe under the kitchen sink, a cockroach infestation entirely your fault for not cleaning the laundry room, and several flus from stress. 

“I remember getting sick every month after I started living with your dad!” said your mom when you called her for the second time in the month to tell her you were sick. She even brought you some soup and stayed the night to watch a movie together. 

A year passed, and you were pretty much used to living alone. On weekends, you’ll have your friends sleeping over, drinking and playing board games, singing karaoke, and whatnot. You even clubbed until 4 in the morning, but never brought anyone back home. You couldn’t. You knew it wouldn’t be safe. But living freely made you have so much fun and helped you rebuild your relationship with your parents. 

The building was small and quiet, with 6 apartments that felt unoccupied. For over six months, you didn’t meet your neighbors: the one on your right was a single mom and her seven-year-old child. You met her by accident when coming back from work and helped her carry some groceries up. She was nice and very polite. The good thing was that she was never around on weekends, so you could blast music. The girl who lived on your left was younger and much more social. You usually picked up her packages and left them by her door. She picked up your takeaway food whenever you were attending a virtual meeting. There was even a time you got yourself locked in your study, so you had to ask her to come through your window and help you open the door from outside. 

By the second year, you found out she was moving out with her girlfriend, and they bought a house together. On her last day, you rushed down the stairs to hug both, promising to hang out sometime since it took you so much time to be friends. You never saw her again. 

You immediately told Jesse the apartment was free, hoping he would rent it so you could live your friend's fantasy. But it seemed another candidate liked the place and rented it right away. Jesse even told you your landlord never answered the phone. 

On a sunny day, you decided to go buy some groceries nearby so you could take a walk. As you opened the door, you found your landlord standing in the corridor. He said he was there to clean up and fix some things for the new girl. 

“She’s young, probably around your age or a little bit older.” He nodded, a sweaty Diet Coke in his hand and sports glasses. “She’s a lawyer.” He pointed out, and you nodded, pretending to be interested. 

“Yeah, that sounds great. When you add her to the group chat, I’ll say hi! I’m currently running late, see you around!” You waved and hurried down the stairs with your recycled bags. 

The next week, someone joined the group chat. Ellie Williams. 

The landlord introduced her, and everyone living in the building sent emojis, warm welcoming messages, and even stickers. 

The next day she texted you privately. 

hey, neighbour! I’m Ellie your next-door girl 

if there is anything you need im just a couple steps away 

hey, ellie! nice to meet you! you too! 

It was weird. Considering you never met your neighbours until you'd been living there for six months, having Ellie text you that quickly. 

A couple of days later, a loud thud woke you up. You immediately grabbed your phone, thinking it was a call. It was a Saturday, 11 in the morning. You groaned and dropped your head on the pillow. 

You scrolled through your phone with your face still pressed on the pillow. Another thud. She was finally moving in. It was surprising because when the last girl moved out, she was very quiet, but Ellie seemed louder. You could even hear voices in the corridor outside your door. 

“No! Don’t drop that, Dina!” 

“I won’t! Just get out of the way, I might trip, you idiot!” 

“That’s really expensive…”

“It’s a fucking computer, Ellie.” 

“Precisely!” ya 

Your curiosity grew, and you couldn’t keep yourself in bed any longer. You stood up, put on small shorts, an oversized black t-shirt, and messy hair, walked down to the kitchen, your window open so you could peek outside while cooking. You saw through the translucent curtain two figures walking around, picking up boxes, and passing your window to the next apartment. 

You shrugged and began cooking breakfast, pretending not to notice the half-pulled-up curtain. From your perspective, you could see two girls. One of them had a really prominent profile, a big, rectangular nose, and a high ponytail. The other was a little bit taller, skinnier, and more built up, with a low bun at the base of her neck. 

You chuckled. They were definitely lesbians. It seemed like your landlord was only accepting queer girls on the top floor of the building. 

You pulled out your phone and tapped Jesse's contact. 

another pair of lesbians 

what? 

wdym?

He replied almost immediately. 

the new neighbour’s a lesbian 

how do you know? 

lemme see shes probably wearing a deftones shirt, you know the one with the girl? 

that has literally nothing to do with being lesbian 

oh and shes here with another girl 

right… not everyone is queer this is not the l word 

shut up. it is in my head

You laughed and left the phone on the counter, ready to have breakfast with a conversation between the two girls in the background, which you were totally listening to by accident. 

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

After a rough day at work, you climbed out of your car, shutting the door and sighing. You grabbed your backpack and walked to the entrance of the small building. As you turned around the corner and grabbed the knob, someone popped out of nowhere, startling you to the point you dropped the keys. 

“Oh, shit. Sorry!” You heard someone say, she bent over and picked them up, placing them in your hand in a swift movement. 

Everything happened so fast you couldn’t process it. A girl taller than you stood there, nervous and expecting you to say something. 

“Thanks, don’t worry”. 

“I’m Ellie.” She said and stretched out her hand. You shook it with narrowed eyes. 

She seemed older, wearing a full black suit, her hair pulled back in a low bun, just the way you remembered seeing her through the curtain. She looked exactly like an executive lesbian lawyer. You analyzed her, noticing she was even wearing heels. 

You told her your name, and she smiled. 

“I’ve been wondering what you look like.” She opened the door using her keys and gestured for you to get in first. 

“Yeah, me too.” You said cautiously. 

“Coming back from work?”

“Yes. I’m glad it finally ended. I’m so tired.” You began climbing the stairs, listening to her lock the door and pick up to walk beside you. 

“I feel you.” She laughed. “Tony didn’t say what you do…” She mentioned the landlord, whose name you had forgotten until now. 

“I’m a marketing manager. Copywriting.” You nodded. “He did mention you are a lawyer.” You ended it almost like a question, since assuming so much about her would be kind of rude. You didn’t want to be unfriendly; she seemed nice. 

“Yup.” She simply said, dropping her sight to her steps. She was interesting, with this masculine vibe, and yet wearing something that let you see her curves, not to mention the heels. 

You reached your floor, and you could tell she was getting awkward, swinging her arms like she wanted to say something else, but decided not to. You smiled. 

“So, Ellie. I’ll see you around.” You were super aware that you were flirting. She froze as you winked and opened the door to your apartment, leaving her “Bye!” hanging. 

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

“No, dude! I’m totally telling you, she’s like a real-life version of Shane!” You said over the phone speaker. You were painting your toenails black. Jesse sighed on the other end. 

“Shane is already a live version, y/n. And I don’t believe you; last time this happened, we had to endure a painful blind date, in which the girl ended up bringing her boyfriend.” He sounded annoyed, yet too into the topic to let the conversation die. After all, he could just end the call. 

“Well, that was because she was sketchy! She did mention bringing someone, not her boyfriend.” 

“Why don’t you just go back to dating guys? We are easier...” 

“No way! You are stinky, egoistic, and self-centered.” 

“Hi, my name is Jesse, welcome to my roast, I guess. Look, man, I’m hanging out with some friends, I have to go. But you keep me updated, okay?” Just then, a conversation was heard more loudly on Jesse’s end. You agreed and ended the call. 

You inspected your nails and gave a satisfied nod. 

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Holidays went by really fast. Your company decided to work remotely for two weeks, which didn't really mean rest because the year-end closure is always heavy in marketing agencies. 

By the time the new year came, you met Ellie at the foot of the stairs of the building entrance. 

“Hey, there! I feel like I haven’t seen you in a while!” You chanted, and as you came closer to her, you realized she was wearing a white patch. “Oh, my God! Are you okay?” 

She chuckled and shrugged. “Yeah, it was a small surgery; they removed a small grease ball.” You nodded, paying real close attention to the patch. “I was out of town for three weeks.” She admitted, as if she was disappointed you didn’t notice. 

“Away for holidays, huh? Where did you go?” 

“To my hometown. It’s not too far, maybe a two-hour drive.” 

“Figured you weren’t around. The apartment was way too quiet.” 

“Yeah…” She scratched the back of her head, her hair messily tied up in a mid ponytail. “You know, I’ve been thinking we could hang out. Maybe have dinner some day at my place, I can show you around”. 

“Sure! I’m quite curious to see what your apartment looks like.” 

“Okay! See you around.” It was obvious she couldn’t hide the excitement in her voice. 

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

It was around 11 pm, a Friday night, with all your lights turned off, your pink puff in front of the TV. The only noise heard was the joysticks you were controlling, the buttons being pressed, and the RGB of your headset illuminating the floor. You were playing a video game, too tired to go out on that particular night. 

Suddenly, your phone screen turned on, and you had to peek immediately, hoping it was Jesse suggesting a 1v1. Your eyes widened when Ellie’s name popped up with three messages: 

hey! what u doing? 

a friend of my hometown came over 

we are doing karaoke, wanna crash? 

You stood up immediately and turned around, hoping to see her right next to your door through the window that showed the living room. The curtains were closed, the TV's dim light pouring partially into the hallway. You clapped your mouth with your hand, too aware of the panda pajamas you wore. 

ohhh i wish i could but i’m already in pajamas :( 

You typed quickly , receiving another message in less than two seconds. 

me too! we are just hanging

come ooooon join us 

You frantically clicked Jesse’s contact number, but he wasn't picking up. What should you do? This was unprompted. You rushed to the bathroom. You looked at your reflection in the mirror: hair tangled, curly, and in a messy updo, not in an effortless fashion, but in a "haven’t showered yet" way. You reached for your makeup and did your eyebrows, then applied concealer and mascara. You looked better. But still weren’t sure if you would go. 

what should i bring? 

i’ve got wine and a couple beers don’t worry 

i’ve got nothing this is so embarrassing 

no need to be 

well wait for you 

You stared blankly. Why did you just confirm? You would look stupid in pajamas and makeup. Your phone rang, and you picked up, gasping. 

“Jesse! She just texted me to come over!” 

“Great! And?!” He sounded impressed, actually. 

“I- I just did my makeup.”

“So you are going… and?”

In the back of your head, a song started playing loudly: Sabrina Carpenter. A voice that was not hers was heard, singing playfully but in a tone. 

“I don’t know why I told her I would! I was playing Minecraft… in pajamas.”

“Let me get this straight, you did your makeup but are still wearing Hello Kitty pants?” He laughed loudly. 

“You are a prick.” You mumbled and hung up. He texted quickly. 

hope you get laid ;)) good luck don’t be shy 

You groaned and managed to get your hair in a middle ponytail high in your head. Your curls now seemed better, but still way too messy. You tripped on your way to the kitchen with the blankets lying around with pillows in the living room. You kicked them out of the way and reached for the knob of the kitchen. You spoon around, unsure of what you were doing. You grabbed a package of salted pretzels and an open bag of light popcorn. 

Next thing you knew, you were standing right outside her door, the lights dim and the karaoke sound loud. You sighed, trying to calm down. What was wrong with you?! You knocked, but nobody opened the door. You knocked louder, and there were a couple of steps rushing toward the door. Ellie opened the door, and a girl was behind her arm. You couldn’t help but notice a big tattoo wrapping her forearm. It was a moth. You blinked rapidly and smiled shyly. 

“Hey! I brought some pretzels…” You smiled sheepishly. 

“Oh my god! I love pretzels!” Said the girl behind Ellie, who grabbed her arm and pushed her out of the way. She reached out and pulled you inside the apartment. “Thank you! You must be y/n!” 

“Yeah, nice to meet you!” You nodded, confused by the sudden physical touch. The girl kissed your cheek and took the bags from your hands, taking them into the kitchen. 

“I’m Dina, by the way!” She yelled from the kitchen. 

You turned around, Ellie standing behind. Your eyes dropped helplessly to her baggy pants, her black t-shirt, and her exposed tattoo. She smiled shyly. 

“Oh, this?” She lifted her arm up, and just then, you dared to look at her face. She wasn’t wearing makeup, unlike the times you saw her arriving from work. Her hair was completely down, chunks of auburn framing her freckled face. She had a small scar crossing her right brow that you hadn’t noticed before. “Cool, right?” She motioned for her tattoo. 

You nodded and brushed your fingers over it, feeling the small bumps in her skin that traced some of the lines, probably the ones that were done deeper. 

“This is so badass.” You admitted and raised an eyebrow. 

“Thanks.” She pulled away swiftly as if your touch burned her and nodded towards the living room. She walked down, shoulders swinging a little bit, and popped down on the couch in an L shape. “Please, make yourself at home.” 

You stepped in closer, unsure of what to do. You looked around and noticed band posters everywhere, the walls painted a deep brown, the couch navy blue, and a couple of guitars leaning on stands right next to the TV. There were two mics on the floor, a big speaker, and some beer cans. 

“I like your place, it’s so cool. Wouldn’t picture a lawyer that could be like a rockstar.” You chuckled, tracing an orange lamp in a sphere shape. 

“Well, I do love being a lawyer, but that’s just to make money. If I were stupid, I would have been a musician.” 

“Why stupid?” 

“You know, it’s hard to make good money by playing in bands of covers…” She grimaced and reached out for the mic. 

“I don’t think that’s stupid, it’s pretty cool.” 

“Well, I hope you enjoy music, because we love singing.” Ellie offered you a mic. 

“I haven’t even sat down, girl.” You smirked. 

“And?” She raised an eyebrow, the scar moving as well on her face. 

You shook your head in disbelief and sat down across her, accepting the mic. Just then, Dina came out of the kitchen with a couple of bowls of popcorn and pretzels, maneuvering with the other hand two cans of beer. 

She offered you one, almost tripping over the mic cables, and laughing. 

“Woops!” She said and sat between you and Ellie, right in the corner of the L-shaped couch. 

“Thanks.” You said softly. Maybe Dina was her girlfriend by the way she moved around so comfortably, the way she seemed so close, pushing Ellie whenever she spoke. You gripped the can and opened it. “Do you want one?” You said as soon as you noticed Dina didn’t bring one for Ellie. 

“Oh, she’s not drinking! She’s so boring.” Dina waved her away with her hand, sipping her beer. “She hasn’t been drinking for over six months now. I hate her!” 

“Why is that?” You asked Ellie directly, a little annoyed that Dina was answering for her. 

Ellie chuckled and scratched her arm. “No reason. I was actually on a diet. Some studies were not good enough, so I had to cut down on meat and alcohol.” You nodded, very aware of the age gap between the two of you. Dina was probably the same age as Ellie, but seemed a little bit younger. 

“Alright! Who’s next?!” Dina clapped her hands on her lap, leaning so she could place the beer on the coffee table full of comic books and a vinyl CD. 

“I believe y/n has to sing since she’s just arrived.” Said Ellie, pointing with her chin to the mic in your hands. 

“Oh… I actually can watch you guys. I’m not very good at singing.” 

“No way! You have to sing! I actually suck, but it is so fun. Look, we can sing together, what do you think?” She offered. She was actually nice, a little loud, but you could tell it was also because she was drinking. Her cheeks were a little flushed, and her ponytail was messy. 

“Yeah, okay!” You said a little bit unsure, the knot in your stomach tightening under the stare of Ellie. You could bet she wasn’t even aware that she was staring so hard. 

Dina used her phone to type on the smart TV and played an ABBA song on YouTube, quickly locking into singing. She took another sip of her beer and nodded. 

Ellie turned her head slowly without ripping your eyes off of you, eventually looking at the TV, stretching her arm on the back of the couch. You gulped heavily. She looked so hot, so unlike her lawyer persona with slacks and lowbuns. 

The singing was terrible. Dina had a nice voice, but you were so bad it was painful that Ellie had to reassure you that you were good, telling you not to be shy and let your voice out. You were getting hot, you were so embarrassed, but didn’t want to be a party pooper and reject the idea to keep singing. But when Dina insisted Ellie had to sing alone, you relaxed visibly. Ellie laughed and stood up quickly, getting you another beer. You nodded, thankful. 

Dina played a King Princess song, which was very lesbian coded to you. You couldn’t help but narrow your eyes, knowingly. Dina was having so much fun that she didn’t even notice you were having a hard time breathing, hiding the nervousness. There was not much talking, but lots of singing. 

When Ellie began signing, she had to sit with her back straight, grabbing the mic a couple of inches away from her mouth, unlike Dina, who had a soft voice. She was so good that you had no doubt she was a great musician. 

When the song was over, you and Dina clapped, and suddenly the beer was climbing in your veins and making you giggly. Ellie’s face turned red as she placed the mic on the coffee table. 

“So, y/n, how long have you been living here?” Ellie said suddenly, placing her arm back on the couch, her legs crossed in a pretzel shape. 

“I believe it has been three years already!” 

“Do you live alone?” Dina hopped into the conversation, setting aside the mic on the couch seat next to Ellie. 

“Yeah. Why?”

“No roomie? Couple? Situationship?” She shot too many questions, making you laugh loudly. 

“No roomies, just a best friend, and completely single.” You sipped the last bit of the beer. 

“Being single must be so nice!” She said as she gazed at the ceiling and bumped Ellie’s knee with hers. 

“How long have you guys been dating?” You asked, pretending to be cool about it. 

Dina burst out laughing, while Ellie turned red and choked on her water bottle. 

“We- we are not-“ She tried to clarify between coughs, her eyes watering. 

“We are not dating, you silly!” Dina swept her face with the palm of her hand after laughing so hard. 

“Oh, sorry, didn’t mean to assume anything!” You said innocently, placing your fingers on your lips, mocking surprise. 

“But Ellie could use a boyfriend; I mean, she’s over 35.” Dina kept laughing, “She has been single for way too long. You should introduce her to a friend...” Dina’s phone began buzzing, the screen showing a picture of a guy. 

Did you misread again? 

“Boyfriend?” You whispered out loud. Ellie stiffened and avoided your glance. 

“That’s my boyfriend, I have to pick up. Be right back.” Dina stood up, answering and walking wobbly. “Heeey, you handsome!” And disappeared in the hallway leading to the rooms. 

The living room was left behind in a tense atmosphere. Ellie’s eyes were glued to her hands, and you were staring at her, disappointed. You sighed. 

“I know a guy, he’s half asian and around 34…” You began, placing the empty beer can on the floor next to your feet. 

“Please, don’t-“ Ellie cut you off. “Dina- She’s-“ She stuttered, sighing heavily and wiping her face with both hands in desperation. “She was joking. I’m clearly not looking for a boyfriend.” 

“What does that mean?” You blinked. Ellie finally looked at you, her ears red. 

“Don’t make me say it.” 

You stared blankly, your expression slowly turning into a grimace as you held back a laugh. 

“Say…” you began, hiccupping back the laugh. “Do you like The L Word, Ellie?” 

She sighed and stood up. 

“Of course I like The fucking L Word.” She stomped to the kitchen and brought you another beer. You burst out laughing uncontrollably and accepted the beer with your free hand, the other pressed on your belly. “Oh my God, this is hilarious. I definitely will tell Jesse about it.” 

She shook her head in disbelief and sat back on the couch, leaning a little bit, legs spread, and her hair messier. As your laugh slowed down, you sighed and looked at her, only to realize she was staring at you with a small smile. 

“What about you, y/n? Do you like The L Word?” She crossed her fingers over her belly. 

“I- yeah.” You admitted, your shoulders relaxing. 

“You give off a Jenny-vibe.” She chukled. 

“You could be a live version of Shane.” You nodded in agreement. 

The living room fell silent again, but this time with a different tension. All of a sudden, Dina stormed in again, crying heavily. 

“I fucking hate him!” She kicked her shoes off and walked down to the kitchen, coming back with two more beers. 

You and Ellie stared at each other in shock, holding back a laugh as Dina sat down, ranting about her dick of a boyfriend. 

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ 

After that night, you didn’t see Ellie for two weeks, but still kept in touch every once in a while, texting about groceries and gossip from the neighbors in the building. 

You invited Jesse over on a weekday to tell him everything that happened in detail during the karaoke night. You even described the decorations in her bedroom, after she gave you a tour when Dina was done crying. How she would brush your arms on her way to reach out for the light switch next to you. 

“I told you she was into The L Word.” You said proudly, finally finishing your unnecessary long rant. 

Jesse sighed, his back pressed against your fridge. He widened his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. 

“Well, I was actually hoping for a happy ending, as in, a lesbian sex conclusion. But you are such a -“ 

“Hey! Don’t blame me, how was I supposed to suggest having sex with Dina passed out on the couch?!”

“In case you haven’t noticed, that rockstar lawyer wants to fuck you so bad.” 

“You think so?” You swung your body side to side, biting a finger with your smiling teeth. 

“Stop that. I’m cringing.” He breathed out and raised a hand in front of your face. “But yeah, she’s hitting on you. I think you should have her over. Maybe she’s waiting to see if you are interested as well”. 

“Yeah… The thing is, I don’t know what to tell her. She had a good excuse: Dina and karaoke. What about me? I only hang out with you-“ you stopped mid-sentence, suddenly realizing something. “Wait, wait… You! Yeah, you can help me!” Jesse narrowed his eyes. “Dina had a huge fight with her boyfriend. I could set up a blind date and invite both of them over!” 

“You can’t be serious…” Jesse sighed and turned around to fish a bottle of juice from the fridge. 

“Just think about it. Besides, Dina is hot, you are gonna like her.” You scrolled on your phone and looked up her Instagram, even though you were not mutuals. You showed him a selfie of Dina in a strapless shirt, her sun-kissed skin exposed, and her long hair down. 

“Damn!” He snatched the phone away. 

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

A knock on the door echoed in your living room, and Jesse’s head snapped back quickly. You gasped, scared, and hit him in the arm. 

“Stop that,” you hissed, then stood up and walked over to the door to open it. He immediately looked straight toward the TV, so he could play it casually. “Hi!” You said warmly as you hugged Dina on her way in and kissed Ellie’s cheek. She took the shot to slide her right hand around your waist and squeezed your skin. You smiled, and the heat rose to your cheeks, her touch shooting electricity down your spine. You held back the need to shiver. 

“We brought some oranges from our hometown…” She said as she pulled away and offered you a colorful bag filled with oranges. You thanked her and took the bag to the kitchen, then hurried back. 

Ellie was already shaking Jesse’s hand, Dina behind her eyeing him meticulously. She smiled softly and offered a hand in a superior wave. You could sense Jesse’s arousal. He really was into divas. You giggled and hopped into the conversation, properly introducing them. 

That night, you found out through Ellie that Dina had just broken up with her boyfriend. You pretended to be sad about it, while she was whispering the gossip in your ear. Both of you, glancing at Jesse and Dina, who were outside on the balcony, Jesse smoking and Dina talking effusively about her favorite shows. 

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

“Dude! No fucking way.” Jesse was lying on the couch and sat up with the screen illuminating his face. “Dina just followed me on Instagram.” 

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

hey are you around? 

It was Ellie. 

yeah, everything okay? 

yup 

just wondering if you could help me zip up 

what?? 

i cant reach the back of my dress 

can you come over? 

You gulped so hard you could swear it echoed in your bedroom. Your cat stretched over the blanket as you pulled it away from your legs and almost ran towards Ellie’s apartment. You even left your door open. Before you could knock, she saw your shadow through the smoked panel of the door and swung it open. 

“I’m really sorry, you were probably sleeping…” Your mouth dropped open at the sight: she was wearing a long, dark green, silky dress that hugged her body perfectly. Her arms were built up, the green ink of her tattoo matching the fabric that was sliding a bit down, showing the curve of her shoulders and tits. 

“It’s okay!” You said way too quickly. You forced yourself to swallow a heavy gulp of saliva you didn’t realize was in the back of your mouth. 

Ellie turned around slowly and placed her hands on the credenza next to the door. The back of the dress was completely open, revealing the small of her back, her naked waist, and down the trail, her black underwear peeking just an inch below the dress. 

“Just help me zip up, please.” She said in a breathy voice. 

You rolled your eyes, holding back the need to touch her. Was she aware of what she was doing? You reached a strand of your hair and placed it behind your ear, glancing down and holding a breath to zip her up. You took your time, your fingers brushing the zipper, the other hand pulling the dress down to close it slowly. Ellie looked at you over her shoulder, her eyes dark and a small smile crossing her lips. As the silk of her dress began to cover up her skin, you let out the breath slowly. 

You stared at her, hands flat on the credenza, back arched just a little, shoulders still a bit hunched, keeping that masculine vibe that characterized her, hair straightened, a bit of makeup on her face, and her eyes piercing you. 

“There you go.” You whispered. 

“Thanks.” She said in a soft voice, finally turning around. Her chest was glowing in small sparkles. “What do you think?” She scratched her cheek. “Not my vibe, but my friend who’s getting married wanted me to wear a dress for her wedding.” 

“You look so hot.” You admitted, heat growing in your stomach. 

“Oh?” She smirked, taken aback. 

“It’s true. Green suits you.” 

“Thanks, babe.” She said goodbye and kissed your cheek. “I’m running late, I’ll make it up to you soon.” You nodded and waved at her, walking back to your place. 

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

September was the rainy season; when the news announced that there was a typhoon coming over the town, you brushed it off, only expecting your boss to ask everyone to work remotely, which he did. So when the second night of the typhoon arrived, you fell asleep almost immediately, lulled by the drops of water splashing on your ceiling. 

The wind rose, humming a song that was getting louder and louder with each drop. The palms in front of your apartment danced, pushed by the speed of the rain and the windy night. The shadows of your bedroom fluctuated, shaking as nobody could see them. Suddenly, a loud thunderclap crashed across the street, stealing all the light and leaving a loud echo. Your eyes shot open, and you yelled helplessly, scared by the sudden noise and darkness. 

Your neck stretched, looking outside, only to find elongated shadows dancing around; they were probably leaves, palms, and bushes from under the building. 

You reached for your phone on the nightstand, only to find you'd forgotten to charge it. 10%. That was it. You shook off the sleep and stood up, another thunderclap lighting the room briefly. You yelped, covering your ears. 

Suddenly, you heard some banging in your living room. You peeked outside the bedroom, scared to death, although it could be some loose cardboard being punched by the wind, now howling aggressively outside. The panel of the door showed a skinny figure banging at your door. 

“y/n! It’s me, are you okay?” It was just Ellie, but she scared the hell out of you. You rubbed your eyes, adjusting them to the darkness as you walked to open the door. 

The rain was sneaking through the small opening in the building's ceiling, revealing the moon hidden by thick gray clouds. 

“Ellie?” 

“I heard you scream.” 

“I’m fine, just got scared.” 

“Were you sleeping?” She allowed herself in and guided you from the shoulders. You noticed she was holding something cold against your skin as she moved you out of the way. She closed the door. 

“Yes.” 

You could see her silhouette pacing around, sneaking into the kitchen to look for a glass. You studied her as she felt in her pockets, looking for a lighter. She lit a candle and placed it inside the glass. 

“Figured you didn’t buy any.” She said and looked at you from the dim light. 

“Thanks.” You stood in silence, unsure of what to say, when another thunderclap, even louder, lit up the apartment. You jumped and covered your face, holding back a squeal. 

“Hey, it’s okay.” She said softly and reached out for you. The touch of her fingers was so tender and steady that it made you have goosebumps. This time, you couldn’t help but shake under her hands. “Do you want me to stay?” She whispered, and you nodded once again, feeling your chest tighten. 

“Yes, please.” 

She guided you in the dark towards the living room, holding the glass and the candle. She placed it on the coffee table and sat down with you on a couch. For a second, you felt your shoulders stiffen from sitting close to her, the warmth of her skin radiating against your arm. 

“Why did you come?” You whispered, your eyes hypnotized by the flame on the candle. 

“Because of the thunder.” She said, looking at your side profile, the red of the fire coloring your lips. “You told me you were scared of them on the karaoke night.” 

“I don’t remember.” 

“I know.” 

The water drops increased, and the wind howled. You shifted, and your legs accidentally touched hers. You could sense Ellie clenching her jaw. 

“You did say something else.” 

“Oh, yeah?” 

You could actually remember, but you pushed the memory so far back in your head out of cringe. You sensed Ellie sliding closer to you, her hand pressing the back of the couch behind you. You couldn’t see, but you guessed she had a firm grip, turning her knuckles white. 

“You asked me to kiss you.” 

You didn’t dare move because you knew that’s why you had avoided her for two weeks, even though she texted you about those damned oranges. She wanted to drop by your house before you invited her and Dina over. You figured she’d wanted to talk about it, but you couldn’t bring the courage to do it, so you waited for the perfect excuse, with more people around to keep yourself safe. 

“And I think you remember all of it…” She stopped right when her whole body was pressed next to yours. You gave a slow nod. “And you are such a coward,” she whispered into your ear, “that you are trying to make me do the first move.” You swallowed quietly, but Ellie was too close; she chuckled when she noticed. “Don’t do this to me, y/n, because I want to keep torturing you, but right now, I could definitely kiss the hell out of you.” 

Her hot breath against your neck was the last drop. You turned your head, matching her eye level, staring for a brief second deep into her darkened green eyes. You gasped, as if you were holding out your breath and found yourself out of air. You closed the small space between you, catching her lips parted, your tongue snaking in her mouth with a demanding kiss. 

You could feel her grin against your lips. Your hands found her arm, and you pulled her closer, your free hand rubbing her side, pushing her shirt up. 

“Hold on, babe. Not so fast.” She parted your kiss and pushed you gently. Having her so close made you realize that she seemed older than you, the bags under her eyes a little bit more prominent, her lips framed by a single faded wrinkle starting to form, and her hands with two veins running up her arms. She made you feel so young, so naive, and self-conscious. 

She narrowed her eyes, dropping her gaze to your hands, taking one of them, and kissing it slowly. She reached for your face and adjusted a strand of your curly hair behind your ear. 

She leaned in and kissed you deeply, with a hunger of months but care. Her hands pulled at the back of your neck, your nose pressed her cheek, and you could feel every muscle of her lips on yours. You let out a sigh that caressed both faces, Ellie pulling you from your waist and making you sit on top of her in a swift movement. 

“I want you on top of me.” She whispered against your lips. You could barely bring yourself to nod, shifting your weight to position your knees on each side of her. “No.” She gripped your hips and made you sit fully on her. She traced her hands towards your back, lifting your shirt and caressing your exposed skin. “Like this.” She moved under you, making your hips meet, ripping off a whimper from you. 

You moved in need of that touch again, rubbing your core to her pelvic bone. You suppressed a moan, and a deep thunderclap crashed, making you forget about everything. Ellie ran her short nails from your clavicle to your belly button, pressing that cavity for a bit. You moaned with your mouth open, and she immediately slid her thumb in slow motion. You made your lip hang lazily, allowing her to trace her finger as she moved it inside and pressed it on your tongue. 

“That’s right.” She said more to herself, staring up at you, amazed by the curves of your body and face, oscillating in the cut light. She moved her hips, letting you ride her until your clothes were an annoyance. She held you from the waist, up to your side-boob, lifting your shirt completely, the skin starting to show. She ripped her eyes from your turned-on expression and straightened up her back so your chest met, pressing her tits to yours.  

She kissed your neck, pulling at the skin with her lips and teeth. You groaned and gripped her hair, only then noticing she was wearing her mid-pony tail. Your fingers sank into her nape, pulling at the hair. You finally made her moan, and that only made you ride her deeper, pressing your core heavily into her. She sensed that your thin shorts were giving away your dampness. She kissed your lips and moved her hands to your ass, taking it in her fists. She started pulling desperetly your clothes, and you had to part to take off the oversized sleeping shirt, exposing your naked breasts in her face. She didn’t miss the chance and immediately mouthed your right nipple, still groping your ass and pulling you against her abdomen. 

Your moans were starting to get a little bit louder and less shy, feeling every inch of her touch. She made you stand briefly, only to sit you down; she pulled at your shorts, making you press your legs together, raising them in the air. As she stood with the fabric between her fingers, she smirked down at you. She loosened her hair and took off her shirt, revealing a sports bra. 

“I like my brat spread wide for me, babe.” She said, the experience running from her mouth, words spilling like saliva. You nodded up at her and opened your legs, showing your wet gray underwear. “Fuck, already that wet? I’ve barely even touched you.” She chuckled and stared down at you, her eyes memorizing every inch of skin. As she tossed her shirt aside, she bent in front of you, never ripping her burning eyes from yours. “You are going to be nice for me, right?” You nodded, mesmerized, completely willing to do everything she told you. “Good.” 

She leaned, her head turning into a mess of auburn strands brushing your hips. You shivered and gasped as her lips met the band of your underwear. She kissed heavily on top of the fabric until she met your core with her nose, sinking it in the wetness that only increased, making the dark patch grow. 

“Please…” You mumbled, suppressing moans that came out as breaths. 

“Yeah? You want this so bad, don’t you? I wonder what you taste like.” She whispered, using a hand to cup your leg from behind and rest it on her shoulder, while the other hand pushed the fabric aside. As she unclothed your pussy, some moisture threads met her, making her mouth water. “Look at you, begging for me to fuck you.” She slopped your folds, tongue flat and her piercing eyes on you, you immediately arched your back, your hand shot to the back of the couch, and a loud gasp that echoed over the raindrop. 

She dived her head deeper, starting to eat you out sloppily and messily, her tongue noisy on you, and just as your moan increased, she started nibbling at your clit, engulfing your skin with care. 

“Oh, my god.” It came out of you as a long breath, making her slide two fingers unprompted. You yelped and gripped her head, pulling her towards you. 

She started pumping your pussy, the action exposing your clit forward for her tongue. You were dripping wet, your wetness mixing with her saliva, and as a rush of a shy squirt flooded on her nose, she hummed, moaning against you, the vibration making you chase your orgasm. As you were getting measier, squirming under her touch, she pulled away, forcing you out of her hands. 

“What the fuck?” You shot at her, and she just stood, towering over you again, and peeled the rest of her clothes. You shut up and admired her, so self-confident, stretching her limbs enough to put up a show for you. You reached her waist and made her step forward, your mouth immediately crashing on her naked pussy. You started eating her sloppily, Ellie ran her fingers through your hair, brushing them back to see you. 

She pushed your shoulders, making you sit back, pressed on the couch, and she stepped up. She used the furniture to sit on your face, her pussy exposed, your neck showing with your head back. 

You swallowed her completely, mouthing her whole folds, fisting her ass, and pushing her toward your face. She swung her body, brushing down her whole core on your face, dampening even your cheeks and eyelids. She moaned, the sound heavenly in your ears. You gripped her ass hard, and moved her hips once again, she began moaning harder. 

“Yes, just like that. You are taking it so well.” She breathed, her voice turning higher and softer. You moaned and couldn’t help but snake your fingers down on yourself, circling your clit slowly. You started humming on her clit, sucking up her wetness. “Fuck, stop.” You froze, and she stared over her shoulder, noticing your fingers. She stepped back, taking your wrist forcefully and pulling you up. “Take off your underwear.” She said through gritted teeth, her breath hot against you. 

You bent over and slid the panties down, now completely wet. She stared down, and just as you were about to match her eye level, she wrapped her left hand around your neck, forcing you to sit spread-legged on the wide armrest of the couch. She shoved two fingers curled inside of you, ripping a loud moan, making your eyes roll back as your head hung back, showing her your neck and chest completely exposed, arching your body. 

“That’s right. I love a brat who can take all of me.” She pumped faster, curving her thumb so it could brush your clit, pressing it every time her fingers pumped you. Your pussy started to make wet sounds, and Ellie’s mouth opened, as she leaned onto yours, snaking her tongue inside. You groaned and arched backward more, starting to feel a knot getting tighter and tighter in your stomach. 

“Fuck.” It came out muffled from your open and gasping mouth. “Ellie, I’m gonna come.” 

“Not until I say so.” She pumped harder, and you cried in pain. “Be good for me.” Her grip around your neck tightened, making you gasp for air, and as she stared down at you, three fingers now pumping you deeper, she finally said, “Come for me, babe. Let me hear you.” You closed your eyes, finally allowing your body to squirm out of control, your tits going hard and pointing directly at her, goosebumps making your spine melt away. You were being so loud when you were coming that Ellie chuckled and had to loosen up your neck to clap the hand over your mouth, quieting you. 

As you rode off your orgasm, Ellie slowed down the pace of her fingers, when she popped them out, a heavy wave of wtness came with them. She traced her thumb on your chin, making you open your mouth, your vision blurred from pleasure. 

“Wanna know what you taste like?” She asked and placed her two fingers with your wet, dripping on your bottom lip. You reached out and accepted her fingers, closing and sucking the skin. You moaned weakly, and she hummed. 

She dropped to her knees, kissing your lap and her hair watering on your legs. 

“Here’s what we are going to do.” She whispered as she spread feather kisses on your knees. “You are gonna take me to your room, and I’m gonna fuck you again.” Your eyes widened as she helped you up. You nodded in disbelief but still turned around, figuring out in confusion where you were standing. 

You walked wobbly-legged towards your room, guiding her in the dark. As you reached the bed, you faced her, grabbed her by the shoulder, pushed her to the bed, and she lay flat on her back. 

“Oh? You think you can top me?” You said nothing, but snaked your body on top, pressing your chest on her abdomen and up until you brushed your nips against hers. She allowed herself to keep her arms up, completely defenseless, but with a smirk plastered on her lips.

You positioned one of your knees below her leg and straightened your back, hovering your hot cunt close to hers. 

“I am going to fuck you, Ellie.” You whispered and held her leg a bit up, pressing down on her with intention. She moaned and showed her neck, she fisted the already undone blankets, and nodded at you. 

“Yeah?” 

“Yes, I could tell from the way you were looking at me. You wanted me to fuck you.” You said with a dark voice that took over you. You rode her core, her pussy, and yours so wet that it made a mess on your bed. 

You kept scrubbing on her, moving your hips with pace and thribbing on her until she started to reach out for your waist, holding you steadily right where you hit her point. 

“Fuck. I need you to look at me while you are riding me.” She said and arched her back, so her core was exposed right at yours, making her so much more sensitive. When your eyes landed on her, your hair moving with your pace around your face, your hips still crashing steadily on her, she rolled her eyes, chasing her own orgasm. 

Unlike you, she held back a loud moan, turning it into a groan behind her throat. You furrowed your eyebrows, taking every detail of her face while she came, how her lips pressed in a thin line and her eyes shut closed, and at some point she just tensed and then relaxed completely, holding your ass in place. 

“Just like that…” She breathed, allowing her body to start falling apart, the shivers slowing down. 

You slowed your pace, suddenly realizing that some drops of sweat ran down to your hips. You breathe out and fall right next to her. 

“Stay…” You whispered as you allowed your eyes to close, Ellie’s hands snaking under your neck and embracing your hair. 

“Of course.” 

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

The next day, a buzzing woke you up. You sat up immediately, disoriented and looking for your phone in the bed, moving the tangle of blankets until you found it under your pillow. 

It was Jesse. You hung up. Your phone had 4% of battery, and the power still hadn’t come back. You stretched, and a sudden realization hit you like cold water. You turned around and glanced down, only to find a naked Ellie sleeping peacefully and completely stretched in your bed. 

The night before, you couldn’t get a complete image of how she looked because of the darkness, but now there she was: face and shoulders freckled, her lips parted as she breathed, and her long lashes caressing her skin. And since the air conditioner wasn’t working because of the power outage, her neck and chest were covered in a thin layer of sweat, making her hair glue to her skin. 

You took your hand to your lips, covering them to hold back a gasp. 

She was so hot, and she fucked you. 

Your phone began buzzing again. This time, you groaned and stood up, going out of the bedroom to finally pick up. 

“What?!” You snapped in a whisper, standing in the middle of the living room. 

“Dude… Dina and I slept together last night…” Jesse couldn’t hide his excitement.