5 a.m. musings

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5 a.m. musings

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1. When you first latched onto me I wondered if I should rip you off like a band-aid or let you simmer in a pot until you boiled over and scorched my skin. Now Iβm drowning in the bubbling water and youβre too busy to even lower the flame. 2. You used to fiddle with my curls and pull on them until they jumped up like those flimsy plastic frogs I played with as a child. I tired of them in a week; I should have realized I was just a toy youβd lose interest in eventually. 3. I laughed that time you made a fist and showed me your βgunsβ and resisted the urge to remind you that the only war you ever fought in was the one against your scarf. I wish Iβd told you then how tacky I thought the action was, like a bright pink plastic flamingo left sprawled out on the lawn. 4. Iβve been told sleeping is the best way to forget someone but each time I close my eyes I see your phone all lit up with her message blazed across the screen. I wake up wondering if you canβt stop thinking about her either. 5. Last night I jammed in my headphones and turned up the volume until guitar riffs drowned out my pulse and basslines clouded my vision and all that existed was the drumbeat and this stupid ache in my chest that whispered, βIβm not going anywhere.β You used to mock my music and now itβs mocking me. 6. We never made anything official but I held you on my tongue like an ice cube, the idea of you melting and sliding along my bones. The cube fell out of my mouth and I slipped on it, skinning both of my knees in the process.
Youβre So Full of Drama, You Could be an Episode of Days of Our Lives (via skeletal-life)
We have to choose joy and keep choosing it.
Henri J.M. Nouwen (via psych-facts)

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things i wish i could tell you partΒ 3
weβre standing side by side but there are miles between us
the taste buds renew themselves every ten days to 2 weeks but its been months and i can still taste your lips. i still find your hair in the lint trap of my dryer and my ash tray still has cigarettes stained with lipstick. you love too quick and i love too hard and i forget to set the alarm because its on your side of the bed. im trying my hardest to move on and i took up painting but somehow your name flows into everything i make. i also took up drinking in hopes that i forget how to spell it
if you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would you allow that person to be your friend?
one of the most eye opening things iβve read in a while (via majorharryfeels)
i will never accept the sound of my recorded voice

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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The Breakfast Club