Loveless

Introduction:

Hello. This is my introduction post to a blog I’ll spend using to tell my thoughts and feelings on and partake with how I please.

For those that are not close to me, you can call me 森山 (Moriyama) or Ms. Moriyama for respect (either one works).

For those that do form friendships with me, you can call me 雪 (Yuki) or Yuki-san (also for respect) but Yuki is fine.

Only close friends and family can call me YuYu or KiKi. Don’t use nicknames if I don’t know you.

I am an adult, I’ll be 21 in September. As long as you’re being respectful, anyone can interact. I am aroace and my pronouns are she/her.

I consider myself to be an irl yandere and will partake in the community, as well as a vampkin/vampirekin.

I am also a practicing witch.

Before You Interact:

I will gladly answer any asks as long as you are kind and respectful towards me, otherwise I will not interact with you at all.

You do not have to follow me to interact with me or send me messages. I just ask that you be patient with me when responding as I don’t look at my phone often.

I don’t take kindly to people asking me anything overtly sexual. I do not mind if it’s to ask about something that no one else can answer for you, but I am only one person.

For any talk of religion, please keep it to a minimum as I have bad run ins with some religions and would like to avoid it.

Do Not Interact If:

Homophobic, transphobic, acephobic

Pedophile, zoophile, any pro-contact paraphilia

Endos/proendos/non-traumagenic systems, I do not want your syscourse here

Proshippers/antishippers, I don’t want that discourse here

Do not vent to me.

If you harass people for being themselves and/or send death threats or doxx people.

If you won’t be nice and respectful, I’ll block you immediately. I don’t care if you’re on anon or not.

If you use demonize Cluster B PDs or any other disorders, believe in “narc abuse,” or use “narcissist” as a means of harming someone

If you support Israel and the genocide

If you belittle people for being yan or yan-esc / those that tend to be obsessive.

Racists

If I see fit to add anything later on, I will.

Posts will feature tags such as:

#yukibites / #moriyamabites

#yukivents / #moriyamavents

#vamptalk / #vampvents

#yuki’s yan talks / #yuki’s yan vents

#yuyu answers

They know I’m obsessive but they still refuse to spend time with me at times. Talk with me. Don’t make me always be the one to text first. Show me you care. Show me that I’m not something to fill your time with.

I want to be worth something to you, not someone that you go to only as a last resort.

I’ve had interactions with people that I didn’t know if I’d enjoy, but once I sat down to actually get to know them, they become friends. But that was different towards the ones I didn’t want to speak with based on instinctual feelings. Something I couldn’t put my finger on, but feeling like something there is dangerous, and that has yet to fail me.

I understand that it’s human to judge people, but at the same time, I don’t understand why we let it get the best of us.

I’ve seen people judge people simply online because of something that they think is different or want to put everyone into boxes.

I think the primary thing that gets to me is how someone with BPD can so easily demonize someone else with BPD or another Cluster B disorder and say things about them. Such as seeing others with BPD symptoms talking about how they despise or hate other people with the same disorder labeling their experiences and connecting with the yandere label. I see nothing wrong with it.

Obsessive love is painful, it hurts. Seeing someone you love that hurts you, even with the smallest things, hurts. I, along as others I know, consider ourselves yans because we are overly obsessive to the point it hurts, we’d do anything, and it makes us feel more comfortable with our identities.

If someone uses it in comfort of an identity, I don’t see why someone has any right to say “all of these people are mocking a disorder,” when that isn’t true. Some people can be mocking, others are connecting to an identity that makes them feel more comfortable with who they are.

It’s never a bad thing to try and understand someone before jumping to conclusions on how they present themselves. But, maybe, I just don’t understand the new concept of social media and how hatred continues to blossom.

I came back to yanblr yesterday, and found your account! I just wanted to say that it's good to finally find another platonic yandere here!! You're not alone in this!!!

Hi!!!!! It’s good to see another platonic yan!

Love isn’t just about loving a specific person either. It can be shared like it’s always been. Not everyone has to fall and accept that love has to be towards a singular being or that everyone has to do something grand to deserve to be loved. Anyone can be loved and that love can be taken away. You don’t have to do anything “amazing” to be loved, love isn’t something to gatekeep. You might end up falling from a relationship, no matter the kind, and that’s okay. It’s similar to respect. You are given respect, that doesn’t mean you have to earn it. You can get that respect from someone but that can also be taken away fairly quickly.

I slept before the sun came up this morning and woke up after three or four hours of sleep and I want more of it but I have a guest and I need to be a good host…

I don’t know what to do, but I’m extremely tired already and I’m slightly overstimulated. I’m not used to this much social interaction.

I’m an isolated creature! I want to be able to spend time with friends and family but without the fear that I’ll be a disappointment of a host.

There is someone I obsess over! I’m pretty sure they know, I’m not very stealthy about it. For what I know, they like it and that’s enough for me to be happy :)

It ultimately depends on the type of yandere you attract for the other things that can go on.

For me, I know that a majority of yans are worried that their interest, or their darling, will leave them so they must do anything to get their darling to love them and only focus on them. Yans tend to be obsessive due to a lot of reasons, some even going from BPD (bipolar disorder) to OLD (obsessive love disorder though not seen as a real disorder in some cases/areas).

Every yan has their own way of loving and showing that love and affection. Ranging from the double-suicide or self harm type to a worship type. Yans can also have more than one type. Such as being a worship + stalker and so on.

For a darling, it’s also important to note what type of yan you’ve attracted and what can be done to further help when they need reassurance, as you would with anyone.

Yans also need to be loved and appreciated for who they are at the end of the day. They’re not bad people, they deserve love and care just like any other person. Some yans don’t like the fetishized version, some others might. A lot of others (like me) are hurt by the feelings of obsession and jealousy due to how bad it can get.

Using me as an example. I’m a worship type yan but I don’t want the romance, I’m a very platonic obsessive person though I do sometimes wonder about relationships just not enough to act on them (this also causes me to question my sexuality and I haven’t truly given it much thought in a few years). For my darling (I.e friend I’m obsessed with), I will do anything that puts me in the position of doing what they want to allow them to only focus on me; the reassurance I like is that I’m the only friend they truly need and, if it comes down to it (which in a way I’d make), they’d pick me over everyone else.

I do not have the voice for singing. I can be the one to tell you poetry in a monotone voice, but I cannot be the siren that lulls you out to sea.

It’s not in me to sing. I do not have the voice for it. I sound horrible to myself.

I do not have what it takes. I was never in a class so I sound horrid.

But I try for you. I don’t sing because it was always wanted of me when I was younger, yet now I feel I cannot take that back. It has never been in me to sing.

Singing is not for me. My hands and brain write the lyrics to the written song. I can make poetry, I can make the best sound with written words.

I can be the best friend or a mother. You can’t leave when I take care of you. You’ll ruin my heart if you leave me just because you think you find someone “better.”

You really think that there’s someone that can treat you better than I can? No one will know you as well as I do! I pay attention to the little things and I can take care of you during the night.

I can cook you an early morning breakfast before going to bed myself. I can tuck you in every night and make sure that you’re safely sound asleep before I leave to have something to occupy my time.

You don’t want me sitting on the bed while you rest? That’s alright. You want to be held while you’re sleeping for extra comfort to help heal your inner child? Of course, honey. You want to sit up and change your sleep schedule to fit mine? Aww, that’s so sweet! I’ll make sure there’s things set up for both of us to enjoy.

I like taking care of people, even if it leads to obsession. You just need me! I can provide everything you need and have ever wanted. I promise.

Just… make sure to know that I’ll also be around as your personal vampiric friend as well.

You’re bleeding? I’ll take care of it. Oh, no! I won’t lick the wound, the mouth has the most germs and I can’t risk that getting infected no matter how badly I want to have a taste. You’re curious on what your blood tastes like? I’ll tell you as long as you let me clean the wound and make sure you’re okay.

The sun is almost up, it’ll be up soon. I need my rest…

I’m testing to see if the medication I do have that says it helps tooth ache does actually manage to do what it says… but I’m doubting it highly.