The Unread Story

Are you fucking kidding me

My mattress is strapped to eight roombas and I leave all my doors open at night so the roombas can go where they want to. I wake up where they want me to be. I trust their decisions.

I DIDN’T LEARN ABOUT THIS IN DRIVING SCHOOL

THIS IS ALWAYS FUNNY

I’ve only seen this legendary post in screenshots

When you ask the traffic lights way too many questions.

Can't wait for 2021!

this year’s prom theme is… *opens envelope* Great Lakes Invasive Species And What Boaters Can Do To Stop Them

And the subject of tonight’s ecology panel is *turns on powerpoint* Enchantment Under the Sea

What you have before you are deconstructed, rustic chicken breast fritters coated lightly in breadcrumbs and toasted until crisp and golden- the sauce is a tomato, worcestershire, and vinegar reduction, with the vinegar for some brightness, and some brown sugar for sweetness to offset the umami of the chicken

I love what you’ve done with the presentation of your plate. it’s simple yet fun. it shows that you’re mature but you’re not afraid to show your inner child. However, with that being said, there is way too much sauce on the plate and the flavor could use more acidity. Your chicken is under seasoned. I feel like you could have used more salt. For these reasons, we had to chop you.   

my refrigerator w legs barrels towards me and grabs me and stuffs me into its vegetable drawer then casually walks away

Hey is

Is your refrigerator running

my refrigerator w legs is standing in the middle of your street gripping a rolling pin. are you running?

when will the clown sightings happen again that was fun

look in the mirror and they can start today

When you're an adult and you see advertisements for new episodes of "SpongeBob" and "The Fairly Odd Parents"

This is a horror novel

Tomorrow is March 28th

This is halloween!!!! SPOOKY TIMES ARE NOW!!!!!