a pinch of salt @forestfae111 - Tumblr Blog

nest-deactivated20181209

TV show: This is a TV show called Shits&Farts. It is about shits, & farts. The main characters are two men named Shit, & Fart. They tell shit & fart jokes to each other for the whole twenty-minute runtime.

at least one person you follow on tumblr, instantly: omfg im WITHERING from last nights ep….. the dynamic between shit & fart is so fucking tense and erotic……im still fucking sobbing i hate my sweet babies….. why do they treat each other like this im fucking BATHING IN ACID….. its so good…….. im EMBALMING MYSELF and then DESECRATING MY OWN CORPSE…..

platano

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pusheen

joshpeck

this is the funniest tweet I have ever seen

coolhotdad

my perfect crime? I memorize the entirety of the macy’s store inventory. I then go on aliexpress.com and find exact replicas of every single purse in the store. I break in at 3am, and replace every purse with a cheaper version of the purse. I take my real purses home and open up an online store on the darknet featuring fake purses. I then sell these real purses as fake purses, making it so that when the feds catch on to my antics, they spend countless years trying to figure out who can replicate purses this well, and who is selling them. Soon an entire division of the FBI is dedicated to finding me and figuring out how my “fake” purses appear to be real. 45 years later they finally trace my ip address and break into my villa in texas and shoot me right in the leg when i attempt to flee. While this would normally not be a fatal wound, due to my constant devotion to my online fake real purse storefront i have suffered an iron deficiency for 35 years. My blood can’t clot and I start to bleed out. Turns out the woman who shot me was a girl who i made out with once in college, and she holds my dying body in her arms and asks me how my fake purses were so real. I spend the last moments of my fleeting life telling her about how every five years i break into a different Macy’s and replace all the purses, and that the purses I have been selling online for a severely discounted price were actually all real, and I have been doing this purely for the gag of it all. When my former college girlfriend gets home from work after rightfully murdering me for my crimes, she goes into her walk in closet, looks at the 13 gucci purses she owns, and realizes that they’re all fakes.

youstoodmeupforayardsale-mo-blog

this passed the bechdel test

selenas

Linsday Lohan comments on her experience of wearing a headscarf in America while studying Islam - an experience that is a reality for many Hijabi-wearing Muslim Women.

dreamingofwonderlannd

She does better than any of the white feminists y'all like to build up

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the-future-now-deactivated20170

It’s time for game developers to be held accountable for exclusively hiring white men

BioWare’s attempt to depict a trans woman character in Mass Effect: Andromeda was a disaster.

From a report that emerged about BioWare’s apparent failure to consult with actual trans people, to the developer’s unsubstantiated claim about its “diverse” workforce, its mishandling of the issue is highlighting a massive issue in the gaming industry:

We don’t really know anything about the people who make the games we play.

To its credit, BioWare is updating the character, Hainly Abrams, to be a more sensitive, realistic depiction of a trans person’s lived experience. But the whole kerfuffle has made one thing clear: If game developers want to show they’re taking representation seriously, they should stop being so secretive about whom they hire.

The tech industry has started releasing diversity reports — and it’s time game developers did the same. Read more (Opinion — 4/20/17)

follow @the-future-now

theforcekeepers

DO NOT DO THIS.

This makes me so angry.

If you work in a movie theater and you do this I have no respect for you.

My younger brother is Type 1 Diabetic.

When we go to a movie theater, we always get him diet soda. If he were to get regular when we asked for diet, we would not give him the insulin he would need for it. If that happens, his blood sugar level could go so high he could go into a coma, go blind, or even die.

If somebody gave him regular soda instead of diet without telling us, that person could be responsible for a nine-year-old being killed or blinded.

Just thinking about that makes me so angry. I get scared every time we take him to a movie in case the people working there saw this picture and decide to do the same thing.

Please signal boost this so people know.

wreckedupbarnes

This also applies to baristas

kimchicutie-deactivated20180618

Fun story about the baristas doing this kind of shit.

I am very sensitive to lactose, not Lactose intolerant but because of stomach ulcers that are still healing. A couple years ago I went to Starbucks right after my classes with some friends and asked for a green tea latte with soy milk. The barista, for some reason out of malice and/or hate for her life so she took it out on me, gave me whole milk in my latte.

5 minutes after my first sip of latte, my stomach cramped BAD. Not the “Oh! time to poop!” kind of cramp but it felt like someone had stabbed me with a knife and twisted it. Now I’ve had this happen before so I knew the cause of it. I went up to the barista clutching my gut screaming at her that she put dairy in my latte rather than soy LIKE I REQUESTED. She denied it and called me a “pretentious white girl for wanting soy”and so my friends got the manager. I had to explain that I had stomach ulcers that were still healing and if I were to go to the hospital for this incident, they would be responsible for it.

Manager flipped his shit and the barista was terrified out of her mind. Pretty sure both thought i was gonna sue. Manager actually fired her on the spot because of the negligence. My friends managed to get me home in one piece while I stayed home for 3 days in absolute agony and missed my midterm.

So remember kiddies, if someone is asking for Diet or “Skinny” or “soy” or anything that is not regular, give them what they requested because it may not be them being healthy, but a dietary need that can possibly be life or death

housebuiltbyghosts-deactivated2

also if they ARE trying to be healthy you should give it to them to!! Its not your decision to police or question others food choices!!!

also im lactose intolerant AND ive had stomach infections/ulcers so i feel this.

cartoonkatelyn

I have Celiac Disease, so I’m very gluten intolerant. When I go out to eat at restaurants a lot of people just assume that I asked for my food gluten free because of the gluten free diet fad (which is usually a bullshit diet btw).

Last month I went out to dinner with a friend at an italian restaurant that had a small gluten free menu. I had been there once before and had their gluten free pasta and it was great! I think one of the managers had been there and was super helpful when taking my order to make sure that everything was gluten free for me. When I ordered the gluten free pasta again this time though, the waitress who took my order all but rolled her eyes at me. I didn’t think much of it at the time, because the restaurant was so accommodating before, I just assumed it would be the same this time.

But sure enough, they brought out my pasta, I ate it, and about an hour later I had extreme stomach pains and was throwing up (in a movie theater no less).

Barfing and agonizing pain aside, eating gluten when you have celiac causes a lot of internal damage that’s hard to notice. The biggest thing is that it damages your intestines, preventing your body from absorbing nutrients properly, which can take months to heal.

So PLEASE, if you work at a restaurant or anything with food and someone asks for something a certain way, please listen to them and don’t just disregard someone’s order. It’s not funny and it can have serious consequences.

somethingnottooclever

I will reblog this with every single story about someone getting sick because of an asshole giving them the opposite of what they ordered until it sinks in for everyone.

sailornightfury

Recently on the news a 16 year old boy with a dairy allergy had gone to eat at IHOP with his family. The specifically asked if they could make dairy free pancakes and they said yes. Not too long after he had a reaction and was rushed to the hospital. This kid died because the was dairy in his pancakes that they asked for no dairy. His epi pen that his mother had wasn’t enough to help him. I know working in fast food or any job that’s serves food and beverage sucks but not as much as causing someone to get sick over negligence.

freakscircus

on this 4/20, let’s think about how bob marley has been reduced to a stereotype around weed and “one love” instead of the revolutionary figure he really was. he advocated for revolution and change against a racist political system in jamaica. he was also a staunch anti imperialist, and criticized white imperialism. he didn’t just smoke weed all day and sing catchy songs. i truly hate the liberal cleansing of revolutionary figures because it turns them into a caricature which erases their political stances and beliefs from the public mind completely

culturenlifestyle

Stunning Fine Jewelry Inspired by Space

Sophia Arjam from Morphe Jewelry Design creates elegant jewelry that revolves around the theme of the fathomless outer space.

The artist designs and crafts each stunning piece in her studio nestled in Montreal, mirroring the beauty and mystique of the outer space and emulating them in the form of fine jewelry. The most alluring part about the shop is the magic and fantasy induced storyline that each elaborate piece comes with. Find Arjam’s ethically sourced materials that are fused to form timeless designs in her Etsy shop.

View similar posts here!

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girllookitthatbody-ahh

I REALLY fucking hate the stereotype that Canadians are so nice and passive and apologetic about everything. The stereotype is more than just irksome to me; it’s damaging. It disregards the ugly realities of racism throughout the country, particularly towards Aboriginal people.

I have witnessed way too much racism in this country to find the “nice Canadian” stereotype cute. The number of missing and murdered Aboriginal women and girls in my city alone is horrifying. The abuse and flat-out hatred is grotesque.

Here in Canada, people are really good at not giving a shit about the well-being of another human being if that person happens to be Aboriginal. Here in Canada, people are so well-armed with their assumptions and stereotypes that they can’t even bother to see Aboriginal people as HUMAN.

So no. Canada is not a magical land where everyone loves each other and says sorry constantly. That stereotype is insulting to every Aboriginal woman who is assaulted, goes missing, and/or is murdered. It’s insulting to the families of those missing and murdered women who seek justice and answers that they will never receive, simply because non-Aboriginal Canadians don’t give a damn.

quietlycanadian

Hey guys this is really important. Missing and murdered Indigenous Women and Girls is an actual problem, and it’s a huge problem here in Canada

ramdaughter

Our last Prime Minister literally said “it’s not on our radar” when asked what was being done about all the missing and murdered Indigenous women and girls and our current one hasn’t done shit so pls pls boost this.

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clownasaurus-deactivated2020100

“all girls are catty to each other” myth actualy just statistical error. average girl is nice to other girls. Regina Georg, who goes to high school & insults over 10,000 girls each day, is an outlier and should not have been counted

roachpatrol

#THIS IS IT#THIS IS THE BEST SPIDERS GEORG#EVERYONE ELSE GO HOME

eviezella

Please read this****

If a thief forces you to take money from an ATM, do not argue or resist. What you should do is punch your pin in reverse. EX: if your pin is 1234 you punch 4321. The moment you punch in the reverse, the money will come out but will be stuck in the machine and the machine will immediately alert the police without the theif’s knowledge. Every ATM has this feature.

Reblog this so everyone knows, this happens all the time especially in the city

vandigo-deactivated20180131

ATM’S DO NOT HAVE THIS FEATURE. I CANNOT BEGIN TO TELL YOU HOW MANY TIMES I HAVE ACCIDENTALLY PUT IN A PIN NUMBER BACKWARDS AT AN ATM FOR WHATEVER REASON, AND IT JUST GIVES AN ERROR MESSAGE SAYING INCORRECT PIN.

I ALSO CANNOT BEGIN TO TELL YOU HOW MANY TIMES I HAVE HAD TO EXPLAIN TO CUSTOMERS OF THE BANK I USED TO WORK CUSTOMER SERVICE FOR THAT NO, AUTOMATIC TELLER MACHINES DO NOT FUCKING DO THIS.

WHAT SHOULD YOU DO IF SOMEONE GRABS YOU AT AN ATM AND THREATENS YOU FOR ALL YOUR ACCOUNTS MONEY? YOU GIVE THEM YOUR GODDAMN MONEY, CALL THE POLICE, AND THEN CALL THE BANK. THE CAMERA ON THE FUCKING ATM SHOULD HAVE CAUGHT THEIR FACE, AND THERES USUALLY ANOTHER CAMERA NEARBY JUST IN CASE THEY SHIELD THEMSELVES FROM THE ATM CAMERA. CALL THE POLICE FIRST, AND THEN CALL YOUR FUCKING BANK. TELL THE PERSON WHO WORKS FOR THE BANK WHAT HAPPENED, AND THEY WILL TAKE THE POLICE REPORT NUMBER, AND RETURN THE MONEY TO YOUR GODDAMN ACCOUNT.

THAT IS THE FUCKING POLICY IN THE EVENT OF THIS KIND OF CRIME BEING COMMITTED AGAINST ANY BANKING CUSTOMER.

ATM MACHINES DO NOT HAVE THIS FUCKING FEATURE, STOP SPREADING GODDAMN LIES THAT CAN GET PEOPLE FUCKING HURT SHOULD THEY BE IN THAT PREDICAMENT.

burntcopper

The next time hollywood says ‘we couldn’t cast someone not white because… reasons….’

jackemmett

producer: we can’t write this character, I don’t know any actors like that!

casting director: okay this is gonna sound revolutionary but….maybe we could just tell people what we’re looking for and they might want to be in our thing

producer: holy shiiiiiiiiit

sinbadism

it’s so wild to me that these people thought these two descriptions were so hard to find. like i know 10 people for each of these descriptions

mxnrique

I can’t believe that the Citizens of Pawnee are actually real.

chrisriddellblog

Instructions by Neil Gaiman

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vrabia

today i learned that the people who were like let’s give drugs to spiders and see what happens in the 90s were the same who back in the 70s decided to send spiders into space and see what happens. so they did. they did that. they sent two spiders named anita and arabella (aw!) and what happened was at first they built really shitty webs in zero gravity to the surprise of exactly no one. but a couple of days later they took those embarrassing messes down and built nicer webs. when they died they were put in the smithsonian and you can go see their tiny spider carcasses if that’s a thing you want to do.

also they brought a jumping spider on the international space station and it did fine, just. hanging around. being a jumping spider in zero gravity. then they brought it back to earth to see what it would do and what it did was it kept falling on its ass when trying to jump. you can see a bit of it here if that’s also a thing you want to do.

bestrunescapememesbruh

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a pinch of salt