Forced2Post

The walk over i blasted some shitty songs like i allways do, and even if i turn 18 that aint gonna change, ive spent the entirety of today thinking my life is gonna end over a number. Eighteen, eighteenth, sure im adult but i dont need to have everything sorted out.

I took my headphones off, taking in the sounds of the beach, and the quietness of the caravan park, the quiestest its been since I got here, and i feel okay.

I have people waiting for me, theyve been here long before this day was reality, and im hoping theyll stay a long time afterwards. And i have my beautiful girlfriend waiting for me to get back, luckily she understood why i wanted to be alone even if i couldnt explain it.

She was worried and is making me message her on my way back, i really love her, and i hope she knows that, shes perfect in everyway i could image.

9 minutes till d-day, yknow, i thought by now id have a future in mind, a proffession i wanted to pursue, a hobby i enjoy, friends who i could celebrate events with and confide in. And im not sure i have any, but im still young, and i can figure it out.

I keep going to the verge of tears, i dont know why i cant cry, i want to, i feel a childhood i nevee truly had slipping away, but i cant cry a single tear, my ears are blurry but not dripping, and i cant help feeling like theres something not okay with me. And its been like that for a long time.

Anyways its 11:54 so ill leave it here ane hopefully shed a few tears, i may be legally allowed to get shitfaced lmao, but i still have a lot to figure out, and it wont come naturally, but, i think ill be okay

Happy (early) birthday me <3

Ps: lthough the beach was pitch black when i got here, my eyes have adjusted slightly and the view is still beautiful, and if thats a metaphor for life, then i think thats a good wrap up to this tangent.

I kind of think i want people to see this, cause allthough its dumb, kinda cheesy and a little bit melodramatic, thats the kind of peraon I am.

Then you inevitably go to sleep, wake up and remember life is out SPECIFICALLY for you, cause you pissed off the forces of nature...

Just me?

Uh, I love my glorious non tryranical ruler Pocket dont have much to say, im hella tired and i might try more digital art as summer hits

Uh, so one of my art friends is making me post my art for.. whatever reason, idk im not good enough to post anything interesting 😭 (atleast for now!)

So im gonna take this oppourtunity to draw more and practice!, so i can look my art student peers in the eye and say "Huzzah! Im nearly as good as you!" Just without the Huzzah cause im not a knight from the 1400s or whenever knights were around