oh, inverted world.

all of this song. all of it. life is c-h-a-n-g-i-n-g 💛

Gonna head out straight, gonna manifest, meditate

Oh, we so invincible when we congregate, make the powers shake

If you wanna go fast then go alone

But we wanna go far so we stay close

So, we count our rituals

We are so invincible.

"life is goood." 

this afternoon, i'm sat on a west-facing deck at home under blue skies. there are faint clouds slowly stretching elastically into the distance, local crows compete with squirrels for the berries along our flower-bloomed block, and the sun is blessing the present moment with warmth and love. it's hard not to feel connected to happiness.

there's plenty of things that distract us from this understanding. worries about past failures, stresses over perceived future problems. mistakes, unmade decisions, insecurities (acknowledged or not), rejections, hurt, money, time, our bodies. the list goes on.

none of this matters. it's a simple sentence to write, but a hard one to swallow. if applying the 100 year test - whereby you react based on whether your problem will matter in 100 years - the answer might be a no, but it still could wrankle pain. you could be suffering in silence, because you feel unseen, not understood or (the biggest one) everything that is unprocessed. it might not matter in 100 years, yet you still feel it today. that is valid.

today, one of the most powerful forces we can feel is gratitude. we see, feel and most importantly name the things that we are appreciative of, as they happen. these days, where do i start with this wrestling match in my life?

it's june. the sun shines down on me over gentle winds in one of the most tolerant and relaxed places on earth. i can afford food, natural or otherwise, and i have people to share it with. i've redefined myself from needing 'me time' to wanting 'people time' without feeling like i'm sacrificing myself. my friends are starting to become the most important thing in my life, and this investment in care is growing into a departure from long-term (and what i believed to be set-in) transience. in truth, 10 years ago, i could barely care about myself, let alone others. i have a beautiful west coast adventure car and boat and bike and walking gear that i've saved up and paid for. (you know it's the right decision when you walk away from it with pride). my community is slowly but surely growing. i'm in no rush. my body is healthy. i'm creating art and im not bitter. this life is mine to be proud of. do i have regrets? of course.

we'll always have things we regret. these things are complicated, real and not going anywhere. yet do they define us? no.

the past is one dimension of reality that is only given as much power as we grant it. if we were defined by our decisions yesterday, our lives might as well as be condemned. today's job is to be as true to the present moment as possible. in that understanding we are connected to the infinite: the place we are from and where we will return. the true realm of the infinite is love. this is where we've all come from, and where we'll return.

‘it’s your touch, it’s your touch, it’s you’

lately i've been noticing my superficialities: noticing the parts of life that i value, but that which i take for granted and/or do not nuture to the depths that they deserve. chief among these have been my friendships and connections.

i've been lucky enough to have met some incredible people during my time on this planet, and truthfully we all have. following our journey to the heart, we grow to know through faith, courage and honesty the types of people who connect with our outlooks, desires and admirations. we bring them in to our lives, become open and provide a safe space for their beings too. we see each other, soul to soul, and we appreciate and share love.

but what then? do we continue to invest in this power, this trust, or do we begin to take it for granted; the place achieved, the checkbox reached? not all of us do. some of the most beautiful people in my life are united in not doing so. they continue to give, to reach out, to seek a shared journey, and only now am i beginning to see the sacred place it allows them to access in life. this is something i've struggled with - this taking of people for granted outwardly (but not for a lack of inner care) - and it's led me to only shallow waters, spiritually.

moving to canada was another example to which i can now point clearly to. i left dear friends who i connected to immensely in england, only to assume that that tether would easily and naturally sustain itself. to all of you who i've felt distant, away or just every-so-often to, i apologise. i'm only just awakening to how important you are. but it's not about where people live, or what they mean to you. it's what you mean to them. always.

whether in friendship, partnership or life, we are nothing without the other. i am only i because of you, and i am ready to give. i give because i do not want anything in return, but because i want the world to be a better place, and when the world is a better place, we all do well. it's the opening of a bag of chips that you've bought because you know in the sharing you'll come together. it's the revealing to someone how you're feeling, because without it, they'll never be able to connect and share with you their own struggles, letting you both transcend. it's the going the extra mile, because you know how grateful you are when someone does that for you, no strings attached.

but it's not about you. it never is. seek a return and you will find nothing but emptiness. what a beautiful life it is to be surrounded by unrequited giving, fueled by love and altruism, happy in the knowledge that like a forest we're all connected and benefit only when we work together.

matt corby, miracle love