pony in a plastic plane

rape but not just physically, mentally and emotionally too. someone u thought was trustworthy raping u thru a panic attack, forcing u to make eye contact, ignoring ur choked breathing and crying, grinning at u and explaining how they've always wanted to do this, how they triggered u on purpose, forcing more of their bodyweight on u as u continue hyperventilating

tongue piercing as a punishment for talking back. 

what if you left a scar on my face for me to remember you by. what if it was so clean cut, straight, simple, that there was no question that it came from a scalpel in a steady hand. what if I had to lie to everyone about it for the rest of my life and say something that’ll make them all think im stupid and insane like “yeah, I did it to myself” all because I could never bring myself to tell on you

thinking about forced piercings. not just the pain of the piercing as some kind of punishment, but the following days, weeks, months of aftercare and maintenance as the piercing heals. the imposed cleanings, my hands bound so i don’t remove the unwanted jewelry, my whole body bound if i try to agitate it. submitting to the softness of their hands and the idea that they can be gentle when they want to be, matched against the brutality they mete against the rest of me. finally healing enough to change the jewelry, only to start it all over again on the other side or the next spot. 

You think that the zip ties are coming off after the scene, but I know that you really need the bondage to relax. I move you, shower you, cuddle you and stroke your head as you go to sleep. You don't need to be able to move for yourself at all.

forced intimacy!!! forced kisses! forced hugs! forced to sleep in their arms! forced movie date nights where i’m tethered to the couch! forced “couples” photos for them to frame around the house! forced nightly “i love you too thank you for taking care of me”!!!! force it til it’s real!!!