DIDN'T I DREAM?—

he had thought long and hard about everything before actually coming today. he wanted to give them good advice for performing, as well as their hopeful future as idols. so, he had gone other things that he knows off the top of his head, written down possible advice, listened to the songs multiple times over to prepare himself. personally, he thought that would be the best course of action and to be quite honest, he was really hoping that it would end up paying off in the end. he’s had the experience of being an idol for nine years come april, as well as the experience of studying vocals for a rather long time to understand the chords that he was blessed with and how to use them. those were things that would surely help him, right? he could really only hope. 

there was other aspects that he knew he’d might have to give advice on, like how to handle life as an idol. it was something that had oddly come easy to him - something that he knew didn’t come easy to others. but, it was something that he had took with stride and ran with the waves. he settled in rather easy, but everyone wasn’t like him. so, if he had to give advice on how to do things like such, how would he go about it? he was sure he’d figure it out, shape up some wisdom on the topic that he had come to know. he always seemed to figure it out, one way or another. 

he giggled softly, head shaking a bit. “if i could give you some, i’d reach into my pocket in hand it over!” he responded. “but, maybe coffee could hold the same effect?” he suggested, but a soft laugh seemed to leave his lips, as it was seemingly just a rather silly thought. he chuckled softly, “it’s nice! just so i can buy my family and dogs more gifts,” he responded with a nod. 

“i’m really glad we get to do girl group songs! it’s really cool seeing members of a possible future boy group do girl group songs, isn’t it? it’s going to be a lot of fun getting to mentor girl group songs,” he said, nodding his head. “ah, i wish one of them was mr.chu!” he admits, before he starts singing the words and doing the choreography a little bit that belongs to mr.chu, before he’s giggling a bunch. “ah, downpour is such a good song! i can’t wait to see how they take it on,” he says. “i think the way playing with fire is turning into a rockish song is really cool as well.”

the more that she remained in the presence of duri, the more nina remembered how excited she was for all of this. letting her tiredness get the better of her isn’t a cute look, so she takes a note from her friend in order to match his energy—knowing it’ll play better for audiences if they were both in bright, beaming spirits. does she wish that she could’ve got a few more hours of sleep? yes, but that doesn’t mean that’s how she should present herself, especially on television. while this might seem like a light-hearted conversation with an old pal, there are still cameras aimed right at them and microphones picking up every murmur. that thought alone is daunting, but it isn’t something that can distract her right now. she’s working, after all.

rotating sideways a little bit, she transforms their hug into them standing side-by-side; arm-in-arm. slowly, she guides him over to their mark knowing that it’ll be time to start soon. “y’know, the thought of taking your energy from you makes seem like some kind of succubus... and like, i’m kinda living for that, but at the same time, it’s kinda creepy, too...” she chuckles, nudging him softly. “trust, though—i’ve had a ton of coffee this morning and i’m... just not feelin’ it, i guess? maybe my body’s just so accustomed to it that i just... have no response anymore.”

that certainly says a lot about her sleep schedule. she’s too busy scribbling down chords and lyrics.

“besides, having you around is far better than any ol’ latte anyway!” she releases her grip on him, a soft roll of laughter following suit. though, when he starts to sing and dance to mr. chu, she can’t help but laugh even more; messily doing it along with him. “god, you’d think i’d be tired of this song already, but even after all these years it’s still pretty cute.” when the topic begins to drift back over to what they started discussing only moments ago, she nods her head along with his statements; agreeing. “yeah, i like ‘playing with fire,’ too, but... i guess i’m just unsure how it’s gonna turn out until after i see ‘em perform it, y’know? it’s definitely not a genre that just anyone can do easily—in my opinion, at least.” 

duri was rather used to waking up early… however, that probably was simply because he barely slept as is. he was used to it, getting up when it was sometimes still night out - just to be sure he had enough time to get ready before his manager would be swinging by his house to pick him up. he’d make it places just as the sun was rising in the sky. but, he would still manage to be early, something that he would always try his best to do. 

he had already started on the coffee train, just to be sure that he was awake enough, and he was able to keep going. it was always hot (simply because he gets cold rather easily, it’s nice to have that warmth) with mocha flavoring, no sugar or milk. he simply liked a mocha, it was always his drink of course. but, he’d sometimes have straight black coffee, just so he didn’t consume too much mocha. 

his makeup had been touched up by the makeup artists, his hair being fixed a bit, just to make him look more camera ready for his mentor appearance on hot topic(k). he was already pulled aside to do his first talking head interview, which seemingly didn’t take too long, before going back to the waiting room, before he was called. 

he was currently getting a microphone upon himself, his normal, warm smile had seemingly been a bit bigger. which was probably due to the excitement he has about mentoring in vocals - something that he had seemingly studied for so long and finally got to ultize. he greets those going by, before his eyes look up to see his good friend and co-mentor, nina. he gives her a wave with a bigger smile that the current resting smile. 

a giggle leaves his lips at the greeting, giving a hug back to the other. “hi!” he says, excitement clearly within his voice. another giggle leaves his lips, his head shaking. “no! you don’t suck as a person! we’re just really busy, aren’t we? ah, there’s always a lot to do,” he responds. “i’m excited to do this with your as well! we’ve got this, we’ll teach them things they’ll use for years!” he said, another giggle leaving his lips. 

while nina was looking forward to interacting with the trainees in competition—and offering them some (hopefully) good advice—today seemed like such a whirlwind already and her work hadn’t even officially begun. filming anything took an insanely long amount of time. what with the moving of the cameras, the resetting of the lights, the testing of the mics; it can be a lot for anyone to handle. luckily, she’s had experience being on sets for the entire length of her ten ( yes, ten ) year career. she could only imagine how exhausting all of it is for the boys vying for a chance to début. all of this is, more than likely, a whole new world to them; one that they maybe wanted for quite sometime. she just hopes that they’re not disoriented from all the moving parts—not to mention the fact that they’re on-camera more than they’re not nowadays.

that alone can really, really fuck with a person’s mind. it definitely fucked with her’s when she first started.

she recalls feeling super all-over-the-place in the beginning. early-era aria has all sort of blurred together for her. she went from rigid training schedules and instruction to being thrown out into the “wilderness” of being a public figure; fans, haters, interviewers, the occasional paparazzi all wanting a piece of her and the other girls. that amount of attention, praise, and adrenaline made things less harsh, but it was still hard to get a proper grip on things. honestly? she didn’t start feeling more “in control” of herself and her career until about five years in, but hey, maybe she was a late bloomer. other people probably handled it with much better grace than she did, and she has a strong feeling that duri is one of those people. she can’t help but get a strong sense of togetherness from him every time they’re around each other. maybe now that they’re spending more time around one another, some of his good qualities will rub off on her.

she just can’t promise that he’ll get much of anything in return.

“ugh, i need some of your energy right now—it’s infectious,” she responded after him; the smile she greeted him with ever-present on her face. “i’m glad you’ve been so busy, though. more money in the bank, am i right?” nina teased, looking around to ensure that no one was calling for them to begin. it seems like they still have a few minutes to chat.

nina hates that she has to hide behind disguises while in public; especially when she’s just trying to enjoy a night out with her people.

out of all the nightclubs and bars in seoul, she typically frequents those located within itaewon—most often the gay-centric ones. they’re a preference of her’s for a variety of reasons, but the main one being that they’re where she feels the most at home. privately, she identifies as pansexual, so she does feel a sense of relief when it comes to being around other queer folk, but for her, it goes deeper than that. back home, she’s surrounded by a warm, welcoming family of rainbow souls; a band of misfits thrown together that create a family. being so far away from them is insanely hard—especially while living in a more conservative area—but she manages to feel that same sense of warmth when she’s surrounded by similarly colorful spirits.

all she wants to do is talk to them; and dance with them; and wrap them up in her arms; and create that same tight-knit dynamic she longs for so much, but unfortunately, she must remain incognito. onyx-black accessories—particularly in the form of hats—covering up most of her face so no one could point out that she’s an idol. being lonely comes with the job, sadly, but tonight, she’s definitely glad for one thing: she just so happens to be in the company of a girl she’s really come to adore. not many people can say that they’ve been in the entertainment industry for a decade or more, but like nina, charlie can. she’s one of the only people that truly understands, quite honestly, what it’s like to “grow up” in the public eye, so they relate on a lot of counts. not to mention that they’re both originally from elsewhere, as well.

towards the beginning of their friendship, they couldn’t see one another as often as the younger would’ve liked, but now that they’re at different, more “mature” points in their careers, they’re able to sort of relax a little more—thus, hanging out is more frequent. so, tonight, they decided to bar hop for awhile until it was time for them to retire.

gazing at her comrade from across their table, she grins wide; reaching forward to lift her cocktail. “god, i really hope that they play some carly rae tonight, man. like, it’d be almost homophobic if they don’t.” she teases, taking a sip of her drink. “like, you have no idea; i’d literally KILL to get down to ‘run away with me’ right now...” after a small pause, nina continues— “...and you’d be my lovely dance partner, of course!” with her glass still raised, she gestures towards charlie as if to cheers her; hoping that she gets the hint to meet her halfway and that things don’t go completely unnoticed.

if there’s one thing that nina seo absolutely hates about being an entertainer, it’s the fact that call-times are often at the crack of dawn—or sometimes worse: before day even breaks.

as a kid, she remembers literally fighting her uncle every time he woke her up for school in the morning, but back then, her start-time was typically around 7:30am. now? well, she’s lucky if she can get away with sleeping in that “late.” many people wouldn’t consider that a luxurious or indulgent time to rise, but she’d happily take 7:30am any day over the timeframes she’s left to deal with now. most often, she’s expected to arrive on set by 6:00am or far earlier, and today, unfortunately, is no sweet exception to that rule. being that she signed up for this opportunity, she’s really not too upset about it, but that doesn’t mean that she’s anymore pleasant to deal with. well, at least she wasn’t for the first few hours of this gig.

with a face full of make-up, hair styled beautifully, and her outfit hugging her curvaceous figure; nina sucks down her third extra-sweet iced latte and is FINALLY feeling a little more energy in her system. luckily, the trainees she’ll be mentoring momentarily aren’t having to deal with a freshly awakened artist, so all should go well—especially because her co-mentor, duri, is around to help lighten the mood. he’s someone that she’s always loved having around, but sadly, he’s also someone she doesn’t get to see that often. their paths seldom cross, and she’s unsure if that’s mostly because they’re in different companies and have really busy schedules, or if she’s just the absolute worst at keeping up with people. the likeliest bet? it’s a mixture of both.

either way, she sends him a large smile from across the room; waving at him sweetly as she gets her microphone put on.

when she’s done, she wanders over to him; not hesitating once to lean in and immediately wrap her arms around his waist. “hey, you!” she exclaims, loosening her grip only to look up at his oh-so handsome face. “what the fuck, i haven’t seen you in so long? do i just absolutely suck as a person?” nina chuckles, nodding her head as if to unintentionally answer her own question.

when she was first told of the opportunity to mentor trainees as they compete for a chance to début in—what’s likely to be—south korea’s next successful boy group, nina didn’t have to think twice before interviewing to be one of the many entertainers that’ll guide them into being their best selves. sure, to many of her comrades, this may have been looked at as a “boring” way to boost public image and get paid, but her opinion differed greatly. honestly, it appeared like a fantastic medium to test all the skills she’s accumulated over her last decade in the industry. that, and well, to be perfectly frank, it’s been a long-term dream of her’s to return to new york after her work in korea is done, and while there, she plans to be a vocal coach, and a potential actress on the broadway stage. she thinks that nothing would satisfy her more than almost “gifting” people with the magic world of music—in any form, really. 

whether that be by playing the piano or the guitar, or any other instrument; or even if it means just simply being a vocalist, she hopes to invoke passion in them. in her point of view, that’s the most important part of honing a craft and truly making it your own. that’s how she’s lead her career thus far, and while she hasn’t necessarily put herself out there as a solo artist yet, she finds that a direct love for being a musician is key in her continued success. hopefully, by being selected as one of two mentors, she’ll be able to pass along some sage advice to the young hopefuls.

if anything, nina wants to support them on their journey to make their dreams come true.

although it doesn’t directly concern daesung, hearing about aria’s dwindling activities still feels bitter. no group lasts forever, but there’s a part of him that wishes aria would. he rarely listens to their music (not that he’d ever tell nina that), so it isn’t a matter of not wanting to go without new releases  —  it’s simply the fact that he wants nina to have something safe to fall back on, always. hadn’t aria only had one comeback in 2020? he thinks to ask nina for confirmation, but decides not to. it feels too much like rubbing salt in a wound.

“self-doubt’s the worst,” he agrees with a slight nod, but a smile is breaking through the melancholy. he hopes it’ll act as a reminder that he’ll always believe in her, even when she doesn’t believe in herself. “but you’re going to figure it out. whatever you do, you’ll succeed.” will she? if talent’s all it takes, of course she will, but daesung knows that it’s more complicated than that. still, it doesn’t hurt to offer support on nights like this. “maybe not planning it out too much is for the best. i bet some really, really cool opportunity is going to just… appear in front of you one of these days.” he reaches a hand out over the railing, aimed upwards, grasping for nothing in particular. suddenly curls his fingers into a fist as he states, “and all you have to do is grab it. i’m calling it.”

maybe he’s just thinking too much—ruminating on the little details instead of staying in the present—but he finds nina’s support to be bittersweet. the confidence in her voice now versus the admittance that self-doubt holds her back. 2021, please: let her believe in herself like she believes in me.

“truth is, i’m a shitty actor. like, the worst ever, probably.” it could’ve been interpreted as insecurity by some, but the confidence he’d held when he first started begging for opportunities in 2016 is enough to know it’s not. it’s a sour acceptance, a reality-check for himself. “… okay, well, that’s probably too dramatic. i’m not the worst, but my coach keeps saying my skills are at a stand-still. first time he said that was in, like… 2017? if it’s true, then that’s probably why gold star ignores me every time i bring it up.”

a few seconds pass and he thinks about what kind of characters he’s most often drawn to. the eerie, multi-layered ones  ―  appearing one way while being completely different in the dark. it’s too different from his image, though, so there’s no way gold star’d ever let it happen. best to be realistic. “i don’t know, something fun. i like ahn jaehong’s roles a lot, if you’ve seen any of his work. secret zoo, reply 1988, the king of jokgu, the last ride… being in a comedy would be really fun. maybe somethin’ like lee kwangsoo’s fish boy character?…” he hums to himself, then shrugs. “or something really fucking scary. scary or funny. i want to get a reaction out of people with my performance.”

it’s a bizarre feeling— being filled with youth, then watching it fade.

when all of this started, nina felt on-top-of-the-world. it was almost refreshing to be so young and so excited for what was to come. now? well, she’s ten years into her career and feels so ancient, but at the same time, realizes she’s only twenty-six years old. so many people tell her that she still has so much more time left in her career, and in her life in general, but with the amount of work that she’s done, it feels as though she’s about ready to retire. how backwards is that? while she looks forward to whatever solo success she may or may not find in the years to come, she’s still so tempted to just bow out respectfully and move back to the united states.

maybe, if she’s lucky, she can make a living being a vocal coach to young hopefuls. hell, maybe she can even star on broadway at some point. the possibilities after she’s done with idol life are endless, but unfortunately, she’s nowhere near reaching that fated finish line yet. though she frequently fantasizes about it, there are way too many things she wants to do before she hangs up her hat and retires from being a public figure, and sadly, she hasn’t started any of them yet.

despite the embarrassingly slow move forward, she’s just glad she has friends like daesung to help her through the rough patches. when she sees him smile, she feels a warmth in her heart that makes her want to protect him, almost. “i really hope you’re right...” she murmurs softly as he speaks, shaking her head as stifled laugher purrs from between her lips. as he moves his hands as he speaks, she keeps her focus on him; giving him the attention he deserves. “well, after that, i’ll definitely make sure to reach out and grab it.” she winks, sort-of making fun of him, but all the while finding him to be insanely endearing.

though, as he continues to spill his heart to her, but this time, about his own future aspirations, nina can’t help but frown. how dare he speak that way about himself? sure, maybe he could use some improvements, but that’s the beauty of art—no one’s ever perfect at anything. everyone always grows, and will forever grow if their passion never ceases. as he finishes his statements, she takes time to find the right words to say; looking up towards the stars as if to ask for their guidance. “listen—... you’re not a shitty actor, daesung.” she assures him, pausing briefly to let him digest her statement before continuing. “have you ever thought if maybe something’s, like, holding you back somehow? could you, like, be standing in your own way due to a lack of confidence?” her words are candid, but soft; never intending to harm with confrontation.

she just finds it important to get right to the point.

“look, i see so many opportunities waiting ahead for you, and no, i’m not just saying that because you’re a close friend of mine. you have so much potential to star in all of those roles, and to really impress your viewers with your skills. there’s always a starting point, isn’t there?” these are the words she often tells herself as a mantra whenever she’s feeling helpless or lost. maybe they’ll work for him, too?

“it’s easy to get trapped in your own insecurities, but like, the effort it takes to break those really awful thought patterns is worth it, you know? do we suck at it sometimes? fuck yeah we do, but that doesn’t mean we should give in so easily.” taking a breath, she laughs as she collects her thoughts once more; reaching out to grab onto his bicep. “i mean, c’mon. you’re at the point in your career where you could literally demand gold star start doing shit for you. you’ve put in the time, you know? don’t give up the fight! make them your bitch!” nina soft-shouts, getting a little too excited without any remorse.

it wouldn’t be an aria performance rehearsal if nina didn’t manage to make an absolute fool of herself, and well, today is no exception.

it’s not that she’s clumsy all of the time, but for some reason, whenever choreography utilizes a lot of footwork, she can’t help but trip up a little bit—and unfortunately for her, “i’m so sick” is the song that completes their set. the motions are honestly not all that difficult, but for someone cursed with two left feet, it’s not exactly a walk in the park. for the majority of her career, the man vocalist has resigned to the fact that she’s not a member in the dance line, so she doesn’t necessarily have anything to prove in that regard, but it’s in moments like this where she wishes she was more graceful.

who wants to fall on their ass and stall production for everyone? definitely, definitely not her. most people already think she’s a mess. ( and it’s not like they’re wrong— )

now, she sits backstage in her dressing room; the medics present checking her ankles and feet to make sure no serious injuries occurred. she felt fine for the most part, but understood it was important to make sure she could move normally, especially since she was meant to promote early in the new year. though, she hoped that she would maybe get lucky and be allowed to sit in a chair during the show; fingers draped around a handheld mic as she’s able to truly pour her soul into her voice and voice alone. truthfully, things would probably be better off if she was allowed to do that in general. at least there would be far less face-plants and falls for her.

once she was cleared and given an ice pack to help things heal quicker, she sighed and leaned her head back; picking up her phone from beside her. wanting some company, she quickly browsed her contacts in search of the one person she’d love to talk to right now; the one person who never fails to make her smile: jo junseo. pressing the call button, she listens to line ring in her ear; hoping that he’ll pick up soon and save her from her boredom.

where did all the time go? daesung can’t say that he never gets emotional on new year’s eve — the cycle of melancholy and fear is an annual occurrence that always knocks him off balance, but with every year that passes, those feelings grow stronger. maybe he’s just sad because he isn’t a little kid anymore and time keeps going forward, forward, forward. never back. or maybe he’s sad because he puts on such a grand show for the world, but seems to be going nowhere when the curtains close. he sighs, leans a little heavier on the deck railing. “did this year pass too fast or too slow?” he asks, sparing a glance towards his company—nina—before looking back towards the dark sky reflected in the water below.

“seems like it’s both. fast and slow should make a balance, right? but this year hasn’t felt balanced at all. it’s been all…” he raises one hand, waves it around in some kind of vague gesture before letting his fingers grip the railing again. it’s too complicated, he guesses — or maybe he’s just too clumsy with words. the latter seems more probable. “what were your resolutions or whatever for 2020? did you accomplish any of them? my main one was to act. as always. didn’t get to do it. as always. maybe 2021 will be the year.” somehow, he doubts it.

new years eve, year twenty-twenty. god, why does it feel like such a drag?

it isn’t as if she’s in an unusually bad mood tonight—despite the fact that she’s been nursing the most obnoxiously dull headache all day—but there’s just a different sort of energy following her around. it’s almost as if there’s perpetual gray cloud hovering above her head; one that’s sadly decided to gently drizzle on all of her “good vibes” for the last few hours. she’s all for naturally feeling your feelings whenever they make themselves known, but it gets annoying whenever everyone else around is having what looks like a fantastic time. she doesn’t want to find them annoying or obnoxious for carrying on with the fun events planned, so she just hopes she’s able to get over whatever is causing her to feel blue, and luckily for her, that’s already being slowly remedied by hanging out with daesung.

looks like tonight the two of them will bond over their lack of excitement. at least they’ll be able to lift each other up in their apparent “suffering.”

when he begins to speak to her, she tunes into him; loving how the honeyed depth of his voice is harmonizing with the gentle flow of the waves beneath them. “it definitely flew by without my realizing it, and what’s sad is that i also don’t remember being insanely busy this year either?” she replies, her bottom lip being bitten into by her teeth; pondering. “i know what you mean, though. as far as my year was concerned, it seems like it’s been extremely uneventful, but also just... a lot more complicated? lots of talk about future plans and what the hell i wanna do with my career now that aria’s slowing down a little more than usual.”

that’s what scares her the most, though. what’ll she get up to in the new year? she hates even thinking about it, but hopes that talking it out with someone will help clear things up for her. “i thought i’d definitely have more planned as far as solo work is concerned, but that didn’t really happen for me. that’s mostly my own doing, though. self-doubt fuckin’ sucks, doesn’t it?” nina laughs, shaking her head back-and-forth. “was gold star just not willing to book you any auditions or meetings? fuck them, if that’s the case.” shaking her head, she looks back over to him; eyes locked. “i have every confidence that you’ll get your first role in the new year, babe. i mean, it’s about time that you and i make some strides towards our end-goals. we should, like, speak it into existence or whatever!” she adds, stepping a little closer to him.

“hey, sorry i’m late.”

ash’s soft voice settles into the air of the studio as he steps through the door and shrugs off his coat to drape over his arm. it’s apparent he’d been in enough of a rush not to bother removing it when he’d first stepped into the building, and his phone sits glanced at, but unopened deep in the pocket of the dark mass of fabric as he drapes it over his arm and finds himself a seat to slide over to nina’s side.

it’s not something he’s proud to admit, but over time, ash’s internal clock has turned evening to afternoon and night to early evening. time doesn’t really mean anything when he spends so little of it asleep and so much of it half-awake staring at a computer screen through the darkness. (it isn’t good for his eyes, ash knows, but he also doesn’t have plans to change his way of life anytime soon.) the night is more peaceful to him than the day, so he stays up to late hours in return for often spending the daytime cloudy-headed and fatigued. he’s grown used to it now and isn’t sure it’d even feel right to be completely lucid midday anymore. plus, he swears that, in spite of it, he’s rarely late like he is now.

“had to put finishing touches on a song before they slipped my mind, but i lost track of time.” he tenses his face apologetically, but he doesn’t expect her to really hold it against him. they’ve known each other for years now and it’ll take a hell of a lot more than ash being late one time for a middle of the night meetup at the gold star building to bring the closeness they’ve built up crash down. still, he knows nina’s time is valuable and he doesn’t want her to think he’s taken that fact for granted.

“but what’s up? you said something about food, yeah?” for a moment, his eyebrows raise up into his forehead as boyish joy crosses his face at the mere prospect of something to eat and he feels his stomach rumble in response, a reminder that he’d forgotten to eat dinner. he pushes away the emptiness of his stomach a moment later and smiles warmly as he takes in the sight of his friend. “i’m curious to know why we’re in the gold star studio tonight, too.”

she’s mid-song when he walks in, and the instant the door opens, her strumming comes to a halt—vocals ceasing, as well. now, all that’s present on her face is a beaming smile. softly, she motions to place her guitar aside, offering him more space to sit beside her, and although she tries not to stare, she closely watches him as he removes his coat with grace. her pupils dilate slightly as he makes himself comfortable, the grin on her face softening slightly as she becomes of aware of her actions. shaking her head delicately, she focuses on him now that he’s here—doing her best not to become distracted with fleeting thoughts.

“it’s alright, i understand—i’ve been kinda doin’ the same thing for the past few hours.” that was true. she’d long stopped rerecording vocals for aria’s new mini-album in exchange for her own material. truth be told, it inspired her a lot more than her group’s music. while this next title was a welcome change for them, it still felt a little safe to her. that was their brand, though. it would be highly unlike them to put out anything that didn’t create soft ripples instead of tidal waves. this wasn’t to say that she loathed most of aria’s catalogue. in fact, she loved a lot of it. she’s just growing tired of remaining in the same box instead of being allowed to try new things.

as he sits beside her, she instinctively moves closer to him; the feeling of his warmth hypnotic in a way. taking a closer look at him, she notices that he looks a little tired as one of her hands reaches over to cup the contour of his face for a second. “have you been sleeping enough, mister?” she asks, gently—but playfully—pushing his head back with her palm. “god, are we getting that old and tired? maybe we should just take a fuckin’ nap. remember when staying up all night used to be easy?” nina jokes, small laughter following suit. “yeah, yeah, there’s food! i got your usual from our favorite spot. it got here not that long ago, but i already kind of dipped into mine. i couldn’t wait any longer, i’m sorry. my stomach was screaming at me for food.”

from the other side of the door, she can practically hear the excitement in nina’s voice as she sings as a gesture of welcome. it’s not her first time at the female’s apartment, but she’s always surprised how well she manages to keep it looking decent. that’s the one thing that yujin’s afraid of when she has to eventually move out of element’s dorms. while she’s not messy, per se, she does have a problem trying to keep every part of the house tidy. her desk is probably the biggest victim of her habits as she practically piles anything she can find onto it, vowing to clean it up all at once eventually. the eventually rarely comes though, and she likes to use her busy schedules as an excuse. 

she’s wrapped up in nina’s embrace, and she quickly returns the hug, squeezing her friend ever so tightly. “i could smell your apartment from all the way down the hall,” she teases before stepping fully inside. “oh, don’t worry about it. i came prepared. went on a good salad diet for about a week because i knew i’d be gifted with marvelous meals today!” there’s a soft giggle that leaves her lips as she makes her way further into the apartment and towards the table. 

yujin’s not surprised to see the array of food on the table, but that doesn’t stop her from letting out an audible gasp and laughing at the homemade jjigae that’s still boiling in their respective plates. “just water is fine.” she might have opted for some soju if she didn’t have to go back on set tomorrow. perhaps once she’s done with filming she’ll have a celebratory drink with nina. 

“drama on a drama set? that sounds like it’d be messy,” she comments. “but, unfortunately, there’s nothing interesting other than the fact that i’m on standby quite often.” drama shoots will never stop being confusing to yujin, but she thinks if she takes on more acting jobs, she’ll eventually get used to it. “it is fun! i can’t remember the last time i got to talk so much in my busan satoori. i’m surprised it hasn’t completely gotten rusty since it’s been years since i left busan.”

there’s a sweetness to their relationship that nina eats up in spoonfuls; that delectable, sugary flavor ever-present whenever the two of them are together. it’s unlike any other friendship she’s made here in korea, but in all the right ways. typically, she’s around people a lot older than her. after all, she débuted at a time that was relatively “early”—especially compared to some of the other idols born around 1994. since she and yujin are so close in age, she feels as though she can easily share her soul with her. sure, they’ve walked down different paths, but they were raised in the same era; one that’s colored both of their perspectives similarly despite their opposites in all other things. it’s something she doesn’t take for granted, that’s for sure.

hopefully the slightly-younger girl feels similarly— that said, nina’s pretty confident that she does.

“i really hope you’re remembering to eat more than just straight-up salads, babe.” she replies in a soft tone; not necessarily a nagging or accusatory one. “we don’t want you to magically turn into a rabbit, y’know?” peeking her head out from the kitchen, she sends a wink and a laugh. hastily, she pours them both glasses of water from the filter kept in the refrigerator, then makes her reentrance back into the dining area—setting one of the beverages down near her guest.

“aw, babe! i’m so glad to hear that you’re having a good time. i’m also glad that you haven’t lost your satoori, too. sometimes, it’s hard for me to remember certain words in english and it really terrifies me, to be honest...” she trails off, cringing almost. she grew up speaking korean mostly at home with her parents, but after awhile, she almost never used her mother tongue. now, it’s the exact opposite—she utilizes it almost completely. “anyway—feel free to dig in! i’m sure you’re hungry! i know i would be with how much you’ve been working!” picking up her eating utensils, she digs into one of the sides for a second before finally treating herself to some jjigae—the deliciously savory spice warming her palate as she hums in delight.

with her drama filming around as well as a comeback preparation, there wasn’t a lot of time on yujin’s hand to even sit down and have dinner. most of her meals so far have been lunch boxes and rolls of kimbap on set or whatever fan-packed meal was provided by the fans of some of the other cast members. nevertheless, she can’t recall the last time she’s actually sat down at a table and had a full cooked meal. everything’s been so heavily processed that she’s unsure how she’s supposed to be maintaining an idol body in the midst of all of it.

hence when nina had offered to make her dinner, she immediately checked her schedule to find a night where she could have a couple of hours off and said yes. what had originally started out as an idol and fan interaction had turned into a friendship that yujin wouldn’t exchange for anything else, and it felt nice being able to think about the time she could spend with her. 

she was a little underdressed when it came to disguises, but she knows with how the country works, it wouldn’t be a scandal if she was caught at nina’s place by some nosy paparazzi anyway. as she stepped into the hallway, she couldn’t help but notice the aroma of what seemed to be the meal awaiting her. it only caused her to squeal in delight as she stepped up to her friend’s door and gave it a knock. 

with a deep sigh, nina’s thumbs tapped across the screen of her phone at a lightning-quick pace; continuing to type out lengthy responses to emails that she’s been avoiding all day. with aria’s new mini album on the horizon, her team is working with gold star media to schedule the upcoming dance practices, the rerecording of vocals depending on the sound of the tracks, and so forth—her opinion on the matter always listened to, but often ignored in favor for what works best for all members of the group. given that they’ve been in the industry for almost a decade now, they’re all successful in their own right—solo projects, passion projects, and so on finally able to move forward after devoting so many hours to their collective—so it isn’t as easy to get everyone on the same page. additionally, they don’t live together anymore, so it isn’t as if they could all just gather together in a top-secret van that takes them wherever they need to go like they used to years, and years, ago. despite the convenience of that for gold star media, nina much prefers having her own space to call home—even if it isn’t as glamorous as other idols’.

suddenly, she heard a knock fall upon her door; exhaling a dramatic sigh of relief now that she’s been saved from work by her precious friend. immediately standing up, she rushed towards the door excitedly only to open it wide. “she’s heeere!” nina practically sang, opening up her arms wide before wrapping them around yujin; squeezing her tight. “i’m so glad you’re here!” is she a little over-the-top? probably, but she can’t help it—seeing people she loves brings out such an immense amount of joy within her. releasing her grip, she let her hand find the others and gently pulled her inside; closing the door behind them.

“i’m not gonna lie, i think i made us some pretty delicious food, and i may-or-may-not have a really amazing dessert stashed in the fridge. i mean, if you don’t want to eat it because of like, work reasons or whatever...” she paused, shrugged, then smiled once more. “honestly? i’ll probably just force you to eat some anyway because a little treat here and there won’t hurt!”

✨  HOT TOPIC ( K ) CASTING INTERVIEW.

...or, where nina begs for the chance to teach trainees how to sing with heart. ☽