ICON.

a smile lifts the corners of his lips, reassuring and kind. he may be a flirt but he’s not that much of an asshole. and he can tell the girl is kind of uncomfortable about the whole transition thing. jinyoung could only imagine how hard it must be. if he were to leave unity today only to re-debut in another group he’d probably- well he’d do it but not without sassing his way through the whole duration of preparations for debut. 

“can’t wait to see you on stage again,” he thus responds and leaves it at that.

“kids do make everything seem easier, don’t they? ah to go back to the days of just playing and napping with no care in the world,” he sighs dramatically, tilting his head back with a hand raised to his forehead as if the weight of the world was on his shoulders.

“i also do hate to break your bubble but I believe that no colour nor shade is save from stains with these tiny picassos at work.”

the short conversation is all she really wants. for the past couple of months, everybody’s been giving her eyes filled with pity and little reassuring pats on the back. while she appreciated the concern that came from genuine love for her and her ex-group, it did get tiring having to put on a forced smile as she lied through her teeth that everything will be alright. 

“can’t wait to stand on stage myself,” she says in return before completely shutting down the conversation. looking around, she takes a look at the children in the room and how carefree they appear to be. “napping always sounds like such a delight. i really miss nap time now that you mention it.” with a chuckle, she’s reminded of the days where she would be filming and stealing a couple of minutes to nap before she got called back in. those were usually the best. 

it takes a moment for yoojin to realize who it is that has joined her, but once she does, she smiles. although yoojin’s not sure that they’d talked much in element’s lifetime, nor since they disbanded, of course she knew who the other was. the other yujin; it made her giggle at the thought before she remembered they were speaking to each other. “ good, i think … ” she glances around. “ i think i’m gonna need some help here. ” she chuckles lightly. “ bae yujin, right ? ” she asks, brows raised. “ it’s nice to properly meet you ! ”

“ i wouldn’t either – i’m sure my roommate’s cat would hate me more than he already does, but those are the sacrifices we sometimes have to make. ” she said solemnly, nodding her head. “ but maybe i’m not the best person to talk to about that – i’ll try to convince you to take one of these little ones home … they’re so cute, it’s sad to think they haven’t been adopted yet. i may consider getting a side job here to to sell these little ones to people. ” she chuckles, after all she’s always a pet’s number one spokesperson – especially when they need good homes, and yoojin’s not sure every one would find one. “ maybe just … one ? ” she suggests, brows raised. as she takes a particularly cute pup in her hands, and holds it up just below her chin, which the it immediately begins licking. “ look at this one’s little face, how could you possibly say no ? ”

“ i don’t think they get to let out their energy a whole lot. especially as puppies, one play break probably isn’t enough, ” she says, pouting. “ it is indeed puppy heaven. they have toys over there, ” yoojin motions to the side where there was a bin with old dog toys, “ but they seem very contented to just make you a jungle gym is you want to join me on the floor ? ” yoojin suggests, brows raised. “ it’s actually quite nice. ” 

despite promoting for almost four years as a member of element, yujin can’t say that she’s befriended many people beyond short greetings here and there. the people that she can confidently say she’s close to were people she’s mostly known throughout her years as a trainee rather than post-debut. she smiles towards the 7rophy member before jokingly giving her a salute. “it’s nice to meet you too, yoojin,” she says with an emphasis on the other’s name. a funny situation overall.

crouching down, she reaches over to the puppies that have gathered at her feet. “a side job sounds wonderful because what else would be a better healing experience than getting to spend so much time with these babies!” she exclaims followed with an excited squeal as one of the dogs lick her arm. there’s so much going on around her that she can’t possibly imagine how lonely these puppies must have been when nobody is around. she’s almost thankful that gold star has made her come on the volunteer trip though she was never against the idea to begin with. 

rina nodded her head in agreement, looking down at she listened. it was true. if it was on tv, there was more of a chance of someone watching it and wanting to check out more of her work. it could be random, just flipping through the channels. and unlike tv, most people didn’t randomly go to the movies, they were looking for a certain film. even still, filming at it’s pros. 

“ugh, both sound great.” but she couldn’t film throughout the entire year…or could she?

“filming for my first movie was intense.” but the role was intense overall, what could she say about that? “it is a very, very different experience.” but it was a good one. “do you have a certain type of genre that you’d like to do more than the others or doesn’t matter and you’re more focused on building your profile?” 

listening in, yujin thinks about the three roles that she’s had so far. in some ways, they were all quite similar to one another. or at least her first two definitely were. the whole school girl role though their personalities differed greatly. cindy was a different story of her own though, and it was the role that she was most proud of. it was also the role that helped boost her reputation as the producers did better than any of her previous dramas. 

location: the animal shelter when: july 19, 2021 with: open

( ... ) 

which was how she ended up in the position she’s in now.

instructed to help with play time with the small dogs ( they didn’t want to overwhelm her with the big dogs, ) yoojin ends up with puppies on her lap, running around her, and one even finding a spot asleep on her shoulder. she’s not sure how she ended up in the pile of pups, but she’s not exactly complaining. she hears footsteps nearing and her head whips up, attention moving from the dog she was scratching behind the ears to the person in front of her. “ did you come to help with play time ? ” yoojin asks, brows raised. “ fair warning, i want to take every single one of them home, and i’m not sure how my roommate and her cat would deal with a puppy but … just look at them, they’re all so cute … ” yoojin coos. “ also, you will be jumped on, there’s absolutely no escape. they’re little, but feisty. they’re very helpful with stress, but they also bite a little … you’ve been warned. ” 

out of all the schedules that were listed down for the month, yujin thinks this will probably be the most enjoyable. for starters, it had nothing to do with her status as... whatever she was considered now. a trainee? that sounds odd for someone like her who was always more relevant than her group anyway. an ex-idol member? also inaccurate because she’s going to re-debut anyway so is the title ex very fitting? whatever it was, she just knows that she’s in a very odd place within the industry. people who know about her situation almost seem scared to approach her as if they’re walking on thin ice with the subject. while she understands their sentiments, sometimes she just wishes they’d act like everything was completely normal. 

hard to do when it’s not, she realizes. 

nevertheless, she doesn’t have to care about any of that when she walks into the animal shelter for volunteer work. while she’s painfully aware that it’s a big publicity stunt for the three companies involved, she’s always wanted to be more involved in charity work. perhaps this could be a nice start. when she walks in, she’s immediately approached by one too many puppies, and she thinks this must be paradise. it isn’t until she hears another voice that she realizes she’s not alone. 

“if you were interested in building your acting profile, how would you go about it.” things were about to pick up with wish but she wanted to play for their down-time. that was how she would get ahead in her career right? plan and plan and then do. honestly, she thought with a new group debuting under bc, things would slow down for them a bit. 

things hadn’t. 

“i don’t know if i want to go for more tv-drama’s or try and push for more movies.” that’s why she had a few different projects in front of her. “and more than that, i don’t know what genre and character i want to go for next.” things blended together at some point, it was less clear cut. “how would you go about it?” 

/

despite the couple of acting projects yujin had participated in, this was her first time receiving such a question. it comes so out of the blue that she’s taken back and needs a moment to really think about it for a moment. luckily for her, rina continues on to talk about her own thoughts regarding her own career which buys her some time. 

“it depends on what you want? i feel like tv drama’s give you a more instant boost of acknowledgment from the public.” she pauses for a moment because she begins to wonder if rina even needs that. she’s a member of wish, after all. “but movies are seen as higher class. a different level. if you do really well with one of those, it’s like a total boost in your filmography.” at least, that’s how she’s always thought about those two different sectors. 

jeonghwa faked a gasp, the word becoming the action more than the other way around. her splayed fingers failed at covering her mouth, though, they were never actually meant to. “it’s a conspiracy.”

the compliment thrown her way caught jeonghwa off guard, even if only a little. she shook her head, like it was deterring a compliment-fly, though she smiled as she did so. “thank you. you look really nice too. these colors suit you.” being in that in-between place with yujin, not quite strangers where giving a compliment could be a one and done, not quite friends to where teasing others with her compliments gave her a giddiness. so, she was left in the middle, slightly nervous. weird.

anyway.

she cleared her throat. “so then are you saying our stylists are media pawns? just more ways for the man to get at us? what a travesty. we should be checking our clothes for wires when we put them on.” chatting shit, one of the many ways jeonghwa knew how to pass the time, yet also the easiest. all she had to do was let her mouth run and come up with the conversation on its own. for what it was, her stream of consciousness was usually more entertaining than the flock of conversations others tended to start for her.

as much as she doesn’t want to call it that, this conversation with jeonghwa as well as everything with zero: attitude has been acting as a good distraction. there’s been a lot on her mind with how her career has shifted and how she basically got a different label on her back now. she can’t recall the last time she’s genuinely felt so light and amused until now. 

“you think so?” she looks down at her outfit for a moment as she takes in the compliment. there’s nothing too dazzling or new about what she’s wearing as the color palette is what she’s worn before with element. however, she does think the design is better than what she’s used to. “didn’t you know? i’m pretty sure they all are. you have to think about who they get paid by!” 

needless to say, when she hears that sung will also be at the orphanage for the volunteer opportunity, she does her best to sneak her way towards him. it’s not like anybody’s going to tell on executives if they’re seen with one another here, but she does think it’d be a little insensitive to have sung on her mind when she’s supposed to be playing with the kids. when the little one she’d been playing with starts yawning, she takes that as a sign from above to go find him. 

it doesn’t take long for her to spot him out—she swears they share some kind of telepathic signal or something—and she quickly reaches out to hug him from the back when she does. “boo!” she says though not too loudly because she doesn’t want them gathering much attention. “guess who!”

rumors traveled quickly when you were part of such an ever changing and fast paced industry like theirs. jinyoung in general loved to keep up with all the nonensense netizen gossip on those sites even if sometimes it made him want to have some heads roll while other times he was left rolling on the floor in laughter. it was however due to his hunger for all kinds of garbage news that he’d picked up on gold stars plans and after the festival he could put a group to the face coming his way.

a charming smile on his lips he hadn’t had the pleasure of meeting her yet. time to change that. “I feel like these tiny devils won’t mind that much. if anything it’d just be an invitation to explore a new type of canvas.” the joke came easy as he bowed his head towards her. “kim jinyoung, better known as unity’s kiyoung. you’re from marigold, right? still fresh in debut preparations?”

word seems to have gotten out pretty fast among people within the industry, but she thinks that perhaps the unity member simply has good memory or something because she believes the only thing that’s been released about them is one or two of the cover videos. ones that she wasn’t even a part of though she’s seen the unity members around back when she was in element so it wouldn’t have been too difficult to connect two and two together. 

jeonghwa laughed, tingles of pleasure pricking her over yujin’s willingness to play along. up until then, they hadn’t been able to have such a silly moment together. in the previous interactions, she might have thought yujin was the straight man to her comedic focal point. she wasn’t sure if it was a response to a kinship they’d built over those times together, or if the situation at hand hit the nail on the head. -she didn’t see much use in fussing over it. whatever it was, she was glad to have it now.

“your stylist must be a super spy because i swear i hadn’t seen them at all. though, i did seem to misplace a snack i had earlier. i’d thought maybe i’d pulled a patrick and forgotten i’d eaten it,” or, more realistically, her manager had snatched it, “but now, i dunno. maybe your stylist was the hungry one.” silliness was jeonghwa’s best, whatever the situation. “but you know, if you wanted to date me so badly, you could have just said so.”

“you know, now that you mention it, i think she’s taken a couple of my snacks too,” yujin says as she leans closer to the female as if she’s telling an actual secret. with a scrunch of her nose, she can’t help the giggle that leaves her lips at her ridiculous accusation against her own stylist. it all comes out of love, of course, as she’s been with the same stylist since debut and now through what will be her next debut. 

▬ orphanage volunteering with open

being the youngest in a family didn’t exactly give jinyoung expertise to deal with children. the fact he couldn’t really see himself as a family father did nothing to fuel his desire and figure out how to deal with kids. however to be the certified wine uncle aunt of his group did help him in some sort of way to maneuver his way through this volunteering thing without giving unity a scandal. 

he could hear a stressed jaewon grunting in the back of his mind but all it did was make jinyoung smile wider as he crouched down next to a group of kids, supervising them as they drew away with colourful crayons and experimental shapes. asking them about their artistic visions, he couldn’t help but smile fondly when one of the kids gestured widely like a tiny picasso in the making. when the pen in their hands goes flying however jinyoung can’t help but jerk, reaching out to catch it only to come face to face with the surprised face of another person, marker in hand and looking equally as shocked. 

“oh- why thanks for catching that!”

though she was in the midst of debut preparations—she’s still not used to saying that—she couldn’t pass up the opportunity for a volunteer project. while she would have liked to do more during her career, she’s found it hard to make the time especially as she got busier with solo activities. however, she was well aware that that was definitely an excuse and that’s why she wanted to participate in as many of the volunteer opportunities as she could this time around.

as a heavily social person, jeonghwa had to learn to balance spending time with the people she liked enough that they didn’t feel like she was slagging them off. at times, she could be better than others. and in the case of this pepsi song’s team, jeonghwa had been falling behind.

the person she’d missed out on time with the most was yujin, due most to having the one of the weakest connections to her of the group. so, even having a prickle of worry, jeonghwa wasn’t sure if it was warranted. yujin might not have expected any more from her than the short conversations they’d managed to have. yet, she expected more from herself. she was the one always saying that yujin and her needed to hang out more outside of hair salons, and presented with the opportunity, she was only picking up the slack now.

opportunities were a sign, one she wouldn’t miss again, so when jeonghwa noticed yujin sitting down at their after-concert meal, wearing a set of clothes that were totally like a matching couple’s outfit with her own, there was no other choice. her feet quickened, and took her to the seat beside yujin before anyone else could get there. one hand on the back of the chair, the other gestured towards her outfit, then yujin’s. “i cannot believe we managed to do this. it’s almost like the universe is just begging us to become closer, huh?” she sat down, and a mischievous smile twisted up. “are you sure you weren’t watching me in our dressing room? secretly trying to get us here.”

@fmdyujin 

this mini concert in collaboration with pepsi will be her first appearance in public as a performer after the disbandment of element. even the videos that had been filmed for the release of marigold’s new lineup—would new even be the right word when technically only half of them are new?—would be released later. while she doesn’t think a lot of the attention will be put on her with how full the lineup is, she’s still worried about seeing the comments afterwards. yujin’s never thought that she had enough star quality to stand on stage alone; she’s simply been lucky with the songs that she had been given in the past as they were catered to fit her to a t. 

she’s lost in her own thought bubble until jeonghwa’s voice snaps her back to reality. looking up, she gives the younger lucid member a smile before glancing down at their outfits. yujin hadn’t realized it herself, but jeonghwa was right. they truly did look like they had matching outfits. “the universe is giving us the push that we needed, huh?” though she’s had opportunities to speak to jeonghwa before, she’s never really utilized it enough she thinks because they weren’t really anything more than acquaintances at this point. 

learning the choreography is nothing difficult especially with how little yujin has on her plate at the moment. she thinks gold star’s done it on purpose so that both the company and she can focus on her re-debut. no drama filming, no extra appearances anywhere. the only thing that she’s gotten news of is a brand deal, but the commercial filming is set for a couple of hours only. a couple of hours out of a whole month or so is really nothing. 

a part of her wonders why they couldn’t give her such a free schedule back when she really needed it, but she’s probably just feeling bitter. she didn’t mind the busy schedules back then because it meant promoting element. now that there wasn’t a group to promote, she assumes that she’s not as valuable. her guess? by the time her re-debut comes around, she’ll be back to having a full calendar filled with activities. except this time instead of introducing herself as element’s yujin, she’ll have a new group’s name attached to her.

she was surprised to learn that she would be the last member to be introduced out of the four. there’s a clear pattern that they’ve established. they start out with the main rapper who was also a former element member and then add in the new girls then use her to wrap it all up. though she can’t say that the main rapper and herself are that much of a household name, they do have more to them than the brand new girls. it must be a way to build up hype though she doesn’t completely understand it. 

there was still a lot to get used to with the changes. gold star may have thrown the girls on a jeju trip to build them closer, but they were going to have to spend a lot more time together to really look like a group. either way, yujin still believes that this debut is being rushed if the talk about them debuting in the latter half of the year is true. how were they going to make a group look cohesive in a span of about five to six months? 

but then again, gold star could make anything possible.

frankly, yujin’s never been a big fan of carbonated drinks. nor is she huge on junk food which is exactly the type of food that was being served at this rooftop lunch she’s been asked to attend. asked is a generous word, of course, to describe the situation she’s been put in. there was no choice to begin with as the promotional model, and it’s not the first time she’s been told to attend events, but she much preferred the pop up store events with lancome than this. 

but there are cameras everywhere with one specifically targeted towards her so she has no choice but to play along. the most she’ll do, however, is pick up a fry or two and swing it into her mouth. maybe take a sip of the pepsi zero sugar that’s pretty much everywhere just to show that she’s not some phony model. she thinks some of the other idols invited will do a good enough job to get screen time in whatever promotional video gets thrown together. 

she begins to wonder what’s the point of zero sugar carbonated drinks in the first place. if someone wanted to be healthy, they can have sparkling water or something. it gives them the fizz that seems to be the point of carbonated drinks without all the additional junk. was there a particular taste to pepsi that was so irresistible? because if there was, then she just simply couldn’t understand it. or taste it. 

with a fork, she pokes at the burger that’s put on the table. the bun is black, and she thinks that’s in connection with the package of the drink. while it may work for aesthetic purposes, it doesn’t look appetizing at all, and she makes a decision that she won’t even try it. yujin hopes that some other person at the table will be brave enough to dig in. 

when was the last time she spent an hour and a half on lunch? why was this shoot so long? if this took place earlier in the year, yujin doesn’t think she’d be feeling this negative, but there’s still some bitterness in her heart. by the time this promotional video and song comes out, she’ll most likely be referred to as a soloist. if not a soloist, then anything that doesn’t have element’s name attached to it. it’s still a hard pill to swallow despite the whole month that’s passed, but she’s spent four years as an element member that it’s ridiculous to expect her to be over it so quickly. 

( ... ) 

“me, too.”

where might he have been, if he’d never met yujin? if she never joined gold star, if another person took her place in element? it was possible not much would change, and he’d have found his way to himself through other methods, but to this joosung, with his current experiences, it didn’t sound all that possible. yujin had met sung before he had experienced much life at all. he was overbearing to almost everyone he liked, with a warped sense of communication style that had lost him friends through his life, and kept him feeling separate from other trainees for a while. yujin accepted him as he was, liked him for that, even. he might have thought she was instrumental in his learning how to be a good friend. he did think so. she showed him love at a time he had the hardest time believing it was possible.

cry ridden raspiness peppered his words, “sometimes i think back to seventeen year old yujin, and, i’d seen you for the first time speaking to another trainee, and i thought, ‘wow, she’s so pretty.’ but it wasn’t your looks i was thinking of. i saw how gently you smiled at the other person, and it was like, i knew right then, we could be best friends.” he’d told the story so many times throughout the years, revising word choice, and though he wouldn’t see it, exaggerating over time, yet right then, he wanted to live in the strength of their past.

after all, could choi joosung be anywhere without bae yujin? he didn’t think so.

yujin recalls the days she first began at gold star and comes to the realization that even her earliest memories always contain sung. it’s almost like her journey down this road began with sung. it’s a huge disappointment knowing that it won’t be ending with him, but she makes a firm promise to herself that she’s going to try everything she can to make sure that each milestone, each step she takes in any new direction will include him. whether that means mentioning whatever new group sung debuts in or texting him the moment she learns something new of her career. she simply can’t imagine a future without him even with gold star’s plan to split them apart into separate groups. 

the story that sung shares brings tears into her eyes though she tries her best not to make them fall. she doesn’t want this to be some sad ending because she’s determined to make sure that nothing actually ends. with a sniffle, she wraps her arms tighter around sung while taking in the story. funny enough, she can’t even remember the trainee that she was talking to at the moment, but she does remember her first impression of sung. 

“that’s funny because i’m pretty sure i thought the same thing,” she says. she wants to look up and see sung’s face, but she knows the moment she does will be when she can no longer hold the tears in. “i think i spent all those years training thinking that we must have been twins separated at birth even if it makes no sense with our ages and all.” it’s a shame because yujin realizes that everything they talk about now will all be in past tense.