awaken.

until then, take care and good luck!

hyunsoo’s eyebrows furrowed as his features twisted into a scowl. he was getting tired of people acting like they had him all figured out, tired of people just labeling as ‘ungrateful’ or ‘unenthusiastic’ when in his eyes they really had no idea how much effort it took him every day to perform and do his best for the fans who supported him. it wasn’t the ideal situation for him and he was still struggling, but he was trying. normally, he would just let things slide and ignore the comments to the best of his ability - trying to convince people otherwise was just exhausting. however, there was something about how joohyung had treated him so clearly different from everyone else that had pushed him ever so slightly over the edge.

“so it’s fine for you to act like you can’t even bear to be in my presence for more than five seconds but when i call you out on it it’s ‘not the time or place’?” hyunsoo replied, his voice quiet to avoid bringing too much attention to them, but still firm nonetheless as he crossed his arms in front of him. “i’m not stupid, joohyung-ah, i have eyes and a brain and i can put two and two together. so what’s the deal?”

joohyung tried to keep his emotions under control when hyunsoo didn’t drop the subject when like he wanted the other to, but joohyung had never been the best at watching his mouth when something got under his skin. he knew his annoyance was probably visible on his face at hyunsoo’s arguing, but he tried not to make it too obvious, turning his gaze towards the door so he wasn’t looking directly at anyone, hyunsoo included. his posture, on the other hand, gave a lot away-- arms crossed, jaw clenched, shoulders tight.

“i just spent two hours on stage with you, didn’t i?” joohyung pointed out, the innocent pretense dropped now that hyunsoo was getting on his nerves, replaced with his usual annoyed response, blunt and unsympathetic. he had to fight not to roll his eyes as he looked back at hyunsoo, clearly aggravated. “there’s no deal, so don’t make a problem when there isn’t one. we’re all tired, so let’s just go home.”

Hanbyul couldn’t remember when multitasking had started to make him feel more at ease but right now it did, giving him something to separate some of his energy spent on worrying into. His flitting around the kitchen could easily be mistaken for him not paying proper attention but that couldn’t be farther from the truth. “Is black tea okay?” He asked softly as they waited for the water to boil. 

What came next he didn’t quite expect, though admittedly, it made sense? Their youngest was about to turn 20 within the month, a lot of people in the same age range as CHARM had already made plenty of experiences with relationships (including Hanbyul, though in his case that dated back a few years already). It was just easy to forget that as much as he liked to live his life mostly work-oriented with little regards to changing his relationship status not all of them felt the same.

“I, uh. Admittedly, I’m not… the best at relationship advice,” he admitted with an apologetic shrug. “But I’m glad you have someone in your life you feel about like that. I just– uh. Do you want to tell me more about her? I won’t push for anything but it’s hard to tell how not to “mess up” when I don’t really know much about this mystery girl of yours. Does she know already?”

joohyung fidgeted, feeling awkward now for blurting out his issues like that. he should have waited until hanbyul had a chance to finish making tea and sit down before bringing things up. it was too late now, though, so he just ran a hand through his hair, mumbling “black tea is great” before continuing in his story.

“her name is eunah,” he began, thinking of the girl he’d had a crush on for so long now. “we’ve, uh-- we’ve been seeing each other, kind of. not like dating, but seeing each other. and she’s great, she’s really, really great, and i want--” he paused for a second, realizing what he was about to say was something he hadn’t even fully admitted to himself. once the words were out, though, joohyung realized how right they felt.

after the final bows and waving of goodbyes to the fans, hyunsoo couldn’t have been happier to go backstage and get ready to go to bed. it wasn’t that he hated performing - he had grown to like it over the years, definitely embracing it more than he did as a young teenager, but it required a higher amount of energy than hyunsoo felt he actually possessed. he was drained, but he knew he had to persevere for a bit longer before he could finally leave. he gave his greetings to the staff before returning the hugs and pats on the back that were given to him, a bright smile still on his face until the moment that joohyung approached him.

he had had his suspicions for a while now, but seeing the difference in how he acted towards him in comparison to the other members only left him with an overwhelming sense of annoyance bubbling under his skin. it was fine - not everyone was going to get along with everyone, but hyunsoo couldn’t help but feel like this was bordering into the territory of ridiculous. before the other could move away completely, he sidestepped into his path to stop him from getting too far. “do you have a problem with me or something?” he blurted out, the words coming out of his mouth quicker than his brain could process.

joohyung startled when hyunsoo stepped into his path, his eyes wide, clearly not having expected the other to have any sort of reaction. when he heard the words coming out of hyunsoo’s mouth, his face burned with shame, and he quickly glanced around at the others to try and see if any of them noticed. thankfully, hyunsoo’s comment had seemed to slip under the radar to most of them, many of the other members busy with packing up and preparing to head home. still, joohyung couldn’t help but feel a prickle of fear on the back of his neck, always aware that, in this industry, you were never truly away from prying ears or eyes.

still, he stepped back from hyunsoo a bit, as if putting a bit of distance between the two of them could deescalate the situation. “of course not,” joohyung said quickly, shaking his head, trying to play the perfect, innocent fool. his next words, though, weren’t as innocent-- “this isn’t the time or place, hyunsoo-yah.”

“modest?” he asked sarcastically. “you have your whole chest out.” to be honest, they all did, apparently that was the concept or something and yuanjun wasn’t necessarily complaining about it. he was, however, most definitely complaining about how cautious all the members seemed about letting him walk around in the exact same revealing outfits they were. why was it only a problem when he did it? “hyuuuung stop.” yuanjun whined once more as the older wrapped himself around him from behind, huffing dramatically as joohyung insisted on keeping his suit jacket closed to cover some more skin. “i can be the youngest and the sexiest very much.” he bit back, rolling his eyes at the older’s fussing. “why can’t i be a baby and have my tits out like the rest of you? why does it have to be either one of those?”

joohyung hushed yuanjun’s protests, squeezing him gently. “shh, just let me baby you,” he teased, but when he noticed that yuanjun was actually getting a bit irritated, he eased off. he moved his arms off of yuanjun’s chest to fix the younger’s jacket, letting out a laugh at yuanjun’s questioning. “i’m just teasing you, yuanjunnie,” he soothed, straightening out the other’s clothes. he fixed the younger’s hair as well from where his chin had pushed the strands out of place, but not before giving it a friendly pat. “you can be charm’s baby and be sexy. i just like to mess with you.”

“I’m guessing now is not the right moment to ask you if you’ve been making sure to relax properly after work, is it now?” Seyeon gave Joohyung an apologetic smile and tugged at the far too tight knot of his tie. Award shows always felt so awkward to him — too many familiar tugging at his sense of self, prompting him to be too many things at once. So for now, sticking to Joohyung and fussing over him was a good middle ground. “It’s really exciting you guys have been doing so well but–” He cut himself off, effectively stopping himself from accidentally badmouthing BC in public. Whisper or not, everything had eyes and ears if you were an idol stepping out of line. “–but with great success comes great responsibility,” the dancer saved himself, winking cheekily. “We should hang out for real sometime soon, too!”

Hanbyul had never been good at the emotionally available team dad thing. He tried, of course, it came with the territory, but vulnerability was scary and more often than not, he worried that his tendency to distance himself from the others made him feel unapproachable, like he didn’t care. That made the connection of mutual trust he had with Joohyung especially valuable to him and to be honest, he was a little proud when the younger approached him asking for advice. “Sure, ask away,” he replied, still standing between the open kitchen and the living space. “Do you want something to drink? I can make us tea,” he offered with a small smile, the only indicator of how much the display of trust actually meant to him.

joohyung relaxed a bit at hanbyul’s small smile, nodding in return. it wasn’t much of a reaction to most people, but coming from hanbyul, joohyung knew it meant a lot. “tea sounds great, hyung, thanks,” he replied, getting up to join hanbyul in the kitchen. he leaned against the counter, watching hanbyul move about the kitchen for a minute, before he sighed. joohyung had never been the most patient of people, and even though hanbyul wasn’t taking a long time, the dancer just needed to get things off his chest.

“you know, this isn’t the way to do things. you’re only going to wear yourself out before the actual important things happen.” minsun tries to reason with him, even though they know it’s a lost cause with most of the charm members. “do you want to get injured before our showcase? we need you there-” they stop themselves. they don’t want to play this game. “gosh. let me see it.”

they take joohyung’s hand from under the water, examining the way the swelling seems to have gone down at least a little, though joohyung’s skin is still red. when minsun covers it with their hand, they can feel the remaining heat burning off of joohyung’s skin, and they bite their lower lip in thought.

“you stay here.” they let go of joohyung and turn away to rummage through the cupboards again. they’ve learned to keep a first aid kit in here too, the result of one too many food experimentation-related accidents. “ and don’t touch anything.”

joohyung clenches his jaw, gritting his teeth to try and stop the shame he feels at minsun’s scolding from bubbling up and out of him. part of him is frustrated at the other’s scolding, the emotion bleeding into his words as he grits out, “i’m not trying to charm my way out of anything, i’m just trying to get some coffee,” but mostly, he just feels bad. joohyung never wants to cause any trouble, never wants to feel like a burden-- it’s part of why he pushes himself as hard he does. but now, with minsun watching him try to cool down his heated skin, all he feels like is trouble.

a tight sort of panic grips joohyung’s throat when minsun mentions getting injured, and his breath catches, his worst fear suddenly staring him in the face. “i’m not gonna get hurt,” he says harshly, as if his words can push minsun’s warnings away, his good hand gripping the edge of the counter so hard his knuckles turned white. “i know what i’m doing, minsun. i’ve done it before.”

it takes a lot for joohyung to resist the urge to snatch his hand away from minsun when they pull it out from under the water, feeling like a scared animal now, even though minsun is arguably the gentlest member of charm. he’s spooked now, the thought of getting injured putting weight to minsun’s words that joohyung would  normally brush off. he sucks in a breath through his teeth as minsun touches his burn, letting it out in a huff when they move away.

as joohyung made his way over to him with no other intent than to fix the suit jacket of his stage outfit, yuanjun let out a dramatic, annoyed sigh. “hyuuung, it’s fineee, stop fussing over it.” he whined, trying to swat the older’s hand away. there were a handful of downsides to being the youngest of a group and with this promotional cycle, it seemed more glaringly obvious than ever to yuanjun. the youngest had never been particularly against being babied but that was as long as charm did it by his rules, more accurately when it worked in his advantage. “it’s not even like you get to say anything, have you looked at your own otufit?” his tone was accusingly and with reason, joohyung’s own outfit didn’t leave much more to imagination. “i’m not a kid, i’m gonna be 20 soon you know?” he reminded the older sharply, puffing his chest out and tugging his jacket back to how it had been before. “you’re all just intimidated by my power, it’s not my fault i’m the sexiest member of charm.” 

joohyung gasped dramatically in mock offense at yuanjun’s accusations, trying (and failing) to tug his own jacket closed in order to cover his exposed chest. he knew this was the exact sort of reaction that yuanjun was going to give him— that was what made it all the more fun. “mine is perfectly modest, excuse you,” he fired back, before reaching out to get yuanjun to cover himself up again. he ended up sprawling himself over yuanjun’s back, throwing his arms around the younger from behind to keep his chest covered up, probably wrinkling the fabric but not paying much mind. he rested his chin on the other’s head, grinning and laughing. “you’re the babiest member of charm, that’s what you are,” he joked, tone surprisingly fond. “you may be nearly twenty, but you’ll always be a baby to me.”

eunah’s hands give in to his, fingers quickly molding to fit his grasp. her hands are considerably smaller than his, but the difference only brings her comfort - it feels safe. she looks up at him with a hopeful smile, only to turn her gaze away when he clears his throat, feeling suddenly hyper aware of the lump in her own.

eunah doesn’t think she’s ever had someone confess to her before, not really. she’s been on the other end of sexual attraction, but it’s never been anything more substantial than friends with benefits. in fairness, that’s been enough until now. it’s easier to tell a friend that the t-shirt stays on than it is someone you’re serious about, she thinks. there’s more at stake with somebody like joohyung, eunah couldn’t stand to disappoint him. 

she listens to him with bated breath, and just as she allows herself to breathe again, it catches in her throat. eunah squeezes his hands tightly in response before she even says a thing. “i do. i do like you too. really, really.” she has to break eye contact for a second to recenter herself. “i … yes. i would really like that.” eunah’s answer lingers in the air as a smile spreads across her face.

a smile blooms on joohyung’s face immediately at eunah’s words, widening to a grin when he sees eunah smiling in return. his heart is pounding in his chest, probably loud enough for eunah to hear, but he doesn’t care about feeling embarrassed now. his heart is absolutely soaring, and he squeezes eunah’s hands, looking at her like no one else in the world mattered. 

“okay,” joohyung says, stumbling a bit over his words in his excitement, letting out a bit of a laugh at himself. “okay, that’s... awesome, yeah, wow...” he trails off for a moment, biting his lip as he lets go of one of eunah’s hands, reaching up to tuck some hair behind her ear. his hand moves down to rest gently on eunah’s jaw, tilting her head towards him.