The Reconnection Journal

you thought that was it.

that once you got that degree or that promotion or that car or that house or hit that target or FINALLY got married or finally had a kid, or or or .. that everything would be done.

that that would be it. that you would finally fill fulfilled. that life would be a dream. that all your other worries will be rendered to naught. that you, you would have arrived.

until you did.. and recognized that not much changed. you got to the top and found that the view wasn’t all that. and then you hated yourself for wasting so much time laboring through that climb.

or you “arrived” and found that the grass was indeed greener on the other side but you weren’t seeking grass, you’d have preferred bare soil. or interlocks. but how would you have known when everyone else was seeking the grass?

point is, it pays to paise and ask yourself every now and then if you’re running the right race, and climbing the right mountains.

will i look back in the next 3,5,10 years and say it was well worth all the investment?

when i am asked what my plans are, i’m not always sure. i don’t really like the pressure of thinking far in life 😂.

but when i atttempted this journaling prompt and the one after it, from the #MoreMe.. it gave me a lot of clarity.

the choices i will need to make in order to meet MY vision of a life well-lived. it made living.. lighter. easier. more deliberate.

and so, as we unwind into the weekend.. having thought about your rubber and glass balls (swipe to see), i’d love for you to:

write in your journal (or bare minimum, think about), what a life well-lived looks like for you, and i’d love to hear it if you don’t mind sharing.

listen.

- Umm Zaynab

Have you ever planned a vacation? you make a list of all the places you’ll visit. all the different accommodations. tour sites. activities. food. shopping. maybe you’ll need to visit one or two people. sometimes you debate if the hotel is a better option, since you got a decent deal or to get an airbnb, because cooking is important — and you’d prefer to feel more at home, away from home.

That’s the way we talk about Jannah. I have a tea party. a campfire. a lunch date. There’s a private formulae 1 race, all eyes on me. There’s more.

I remember once visiting a dear big sister of mine, her house is a dream اللهم. It was the vastness for me. I could… breathe. It felt so big I could lose all of my worries in it. Complete with its glass walls, even the drainage system was a sight to behold — when it rained, through the glass doors and walls, I imagined it’d mimic a waterfall. And I thought about Jannah in that moment, and made a dua.

Someone argued that most of it was limiting belief, 😂 that I don’t see myself worthy of such grandeur in this world and I console myself with a dua for Jannah. I counter-argue: I’m big on delayed gratification.

Jannah.

Appealing as all these are, and O how my heart longs for Jannah, the most appealing of rewards in Jannah for me is in this phrase..

“No fear shall be upon them, nor shall they grieve.”

Imagine it. A place where your heart can be forever light. No pain. No fear. No anxiety. No worry. No what if’s. No second guessing. No pain. No grief. Imagine it.

Does your heart not yearn for such peace?

As we journal today @thereconnectionjournal, about the things that matter most to us, Peace and Jannah are the first on my list.

What do you most look forward to in Jannah?

my house is a mess. by my standards at least. and my standards are pretty low.

the way life is set up these days is i clean one room, move to the next, only to come back to water spill, a loose sock, food bits and toys scattered about by a toddler.

i remember a time when i’d be angsty. overwhelmed and drained because of it. and yet, here i am, sat in the mess, with grace.

i’ve come a long way into myself.

taking a moment to give ourselves credit for how far we’ve come, how much we’ve grown — even amidst the chaos, is something we don’t do enough of.

time.

time will come and time will pass—there’s no pause button.

you will learn in this season and you will grow more into your (best) self — if you let time teach you.

let time teach you, and take your lessons with grace.

Allah, He is always preparing us.

8:03am - en route work:

“shaytān aims for two things. first to lure you into sin and second, to throw you into despair.

IF he succeeds at the former, fight him hard against the latter.

for the only thing worse than the sin is thinking it too great in respect to your Lord’s forgiveness.

no matter how often you “miss road”, find that U-Turn.

your Lord is At-Tawwab, the One who is ALWAYS waiting to receive you when you reTurn.”