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i like when you’re in the grocery store and you see people buying eggs because they always pick up the carton and then open it like it’s a metal briefcase full of cash involved in a drug deal and they’re confirming it’s money. “don’t bother counting it, it’s all there. 12.” then they always pick one up and inspect it like, “yeah, it’s grade A alright…the real deal.” 

People are checking to see if any of the eggs are cracked you walnut

Works Heritage Post

the scariest scene in the entire septimus heap series is when he gets stuck in an elevator

Arthur Pendragon will literally die in a man's arms before giving him a casual hug

Thank you for engaging in the mortifying ordeal of being known so that I may partake in the euphoric experience of knowing you.

water is so so tasty way tastier than any of your foolish soda and monster drinks this is true im sorry. this blog is sponsored by water

God I'm a sucker for characters who are so utterly loyal to someone that they're completely unhinged. Characters who have no moral compass except their overwhelming devotion to whoever they've chosen to listen to. That's the good shit

Take care of your body or your body will take care of you 🪦💀