Fly Café Bistro @flycafebistro - Tumblr Blog

This carpet company owned by a hypothetical male human.

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Love & Quidditch

#HarryPotterAMovie #love and basketball #harry potter #quidditch

#worldemojiday - my life was complete when I could text a smiling poop.

H | 17 July 2015

#world emoji day #poop #poop emoji #haha #lol #funny

A moment on the lips is a lifetime on the hips... but a moment on the lips is so worth that g.d. cupcake.

H | 17 July 2015

#a moment on the lips #fat girl #fat at heart #cupcake #haha #lol #funny

That day you drink your daily coffee and your stomach is like, 'NOOOO'

H | 17 July 2015

#coffee #coffee problems #poop #haha #lol

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H: I was just thinking about unbuttoning my pants when I get in the car.

M: There's a very specific kind of relief in the unbuttoning of your pants after a long day.

H: Take off the bra too and I'm golden.

#girl talk #the little things #haha #funny #lol

Interview Preparedness

M: Do you think I need to bring anything for the interview tomorrow besides my resume?

H: Dat booty.

#interview #dat booty #booty #haha #funny #lol #Girl Talk

M: Honestly Spotify, do you really think I'm the target audience for an ad about a single called "Errrrbody"...? I'm listening to Mozart for Pete's sake!

H: You're such an old soul.

#old soul #errbody #grill #spotify #haha #funny #lol

M: Talk about coming on too strong. Sheeeeesh.

H: He's like bad glitter perfume on a 16 year old who just grew boobs.

#fail #you failed #coming on too strong #jennifer lawrence #jennifer lawrence gif #gif #haha #funny #lol

H: When I meet people who, "just don't like cake that much," I know we won't last long as friends.

M: Right?! "I'm not really a dessert person." Well i don't want to be friends or associate with you.

H: Ugh. Who says that?!

M: Nobody I still know.

#cake #dessert #baby #haha #lol #funny

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Let's face it, boobs look better with hard nipples.

H | 12 August 2014

#boobs #nipples #haha #funny #lol #girl talk #girl probz

H: I had a headache for a while yesterday and my back hurt.

M: Is your office chair comfortable?

H: It's not uncomfortable, but I'm not like excited to sit in it ever.

#office problems #girl talk #haha #funny #lol

entertainmentweekly

flycafebistro

M: Have you seen Weird Al's new video Tacky? H: Yes! He is soooo old. M: So so old. And basically his face looks like a skull. Why bother having skin.

#weird al #tacky #mandatory fun #gifs #haha #humor #lol #music

My Uterus is an Asshole

M: Hiiii! How was your weekend?

H: Heyyyy! It was lazy. I was tethered to a heating pad for most of yesterday because my uterus was being an asshole. How was yours??

#girl problems #periods #Girl Talk #cramps #haha #funny #lol

H: I LOVE Laura Prepon, she's super hot! I don't want to be mean... but can we take a second to discuss her bottom teeth?!

#laura prepon #bad teeth #hot #orange is the new black #that 70s show

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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H: There needs to be a word for looking at blogs so as not to confuse with writing them.

M: Yes, "blogging" infers writing rather than just viewing.

H: It needs to be one word…"blogurfing"?

M: That sounds like a word to describe barfing up yogurt.

#dog gif #blogging dog #blog gif #yogurt #haha #humor #funny #lol

We went on a hike for my birthday because I was sad about my age and wanted to be in nature.

H | 3 June 2014

#old age #feel old #birthday #haha #funny #lol

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