Sans titre

You spit out your paci, letting it dangle from the clip. Your mouth is far too dry for it, anyway.

“S-scared, Mommy.”

“I know, honey. It takes a lot of courage to take a leap of faith, doesn’t it? But aren’t you ready to let go and embrace who you are?”

You nod meekly.

“Baby, look at me. Mommy will never, ever let anything happen to her special boy. You know that, right? Who cares what anyone thinks? You have Mommy! You’re safe with Mommy, wrapped in her love.”

“P-promise?”

“Pinky promise, hun. You belong to Mommy. You’re mine, forever and always. Mommy will take care of your every need and fix every problem. I’ll protect your sweet innocence from the big bad world, I promise. You’ll never have to pretend to be a big boy ever again.”

Your heart thumps in your chest, though you can’t tell if it’s from excitement—or fear.

One simple yes—just one—and you’ll never have to make another decision ever again.

You’ll get everything you ever wanted.

So why won’t your brain let your mouth say the word?

“All you need to do is surrender to Mommy, baby. Let the world know you are Mommy’s. Wholly and irrevocably mine. Mommy will take care of the rest. Your utter dependence on me is the greatest gift you can ever give me.”

“It is?”

“Of course it is! I love you, baby. More than you could ever understand. Do you know how proud I am to be your Mommy? How hard it is to hide the best part of you from everyone? I am the luckiest woman in the world!”

She’s proud of you?

You feel yourself stand a bit taller.

“Aren’t you tired of living a lie? Babies shouldn’t be going to work! Or paying bills. You’re too small for any responsibility. This isn’t the life you deserve! Let Mommy give you the life you always wanted. As Mommy’s forever baby.”

“Mommy will be your whole world. You’ll be free, baby. No more cell phones, no more social media, no adult TV, no more doomscrolling. Nothing but the joyful innocence of your nursery. Nothing but cuddles, bubble baths, and cartoons.”

“Mommy will take care of everything. Everything. You’ll be Mommy’s baby—and only Mommy’s baby. Mommy will keep your diapie clean, your belly full of nummies, and swaddle you in your crib every evening. Just like the baby you are.”

A smile spreads across your face, only to falter soon after.

“But Mommy…it’s not fair! You have to do everything and I…I...”

She walks over to you, wrapping you in a tight hug. The seat of your diaper crinkles as she rubs it.

“Sweetie, I want this. Nothing in this world makes me happier than caring for you. All I need is to hear your laughter as I blow raspberries on your tummy. To smell the baby powder wherever you waddle. To see the pure joy in your eyes as you live your authentic life!”

Tears trickle down your face. You instinctively hide your face.

“No, baby. Don’t hide your tears from Mommy. You’re my baby. Babies cry. You don’t need to be ashamed of your feelings anymore.”

You sniffle, eyes full of tears. “S-sorry, Mommy…”

“It’s okay, sweetie. Just remember you’re not a big boy anymore. That means no more big-boy expectations. Mommy expects you to behave like the baby you are, silly!”

“Hehe, okay Mommy!”

“Good boy. Now, are those happy tears or sad tears, honey?”

“Happy!”

“Awww, just what Mommy wanted to hear! Now, baby. Can you be a big boy for just a little longer? I need you to understand that I want this as much as you. I will never abandon you. That I will always be there for you. Can you say, ‘Yes, Mommy’ if you understand?”

You smile at her, cheeks glistening with tears and a small snot bubble forming.

“Yes, Mommy!”

“Good boy! And you understand that once we hit send, you’ll never be a big boy again? You’ll listen to everything Mommy says and trust her to do what’s best for you?”

“Yes, Mommy!”

“You’re okay with giving up every adult privilege you’ve ever had—no exceptions? No more car, no more bars, no more sports, no more sex? Giving your privacy and independence to Mommy? And saying bye-bye to the potty, forever?”

“Yes, Mommy!”

“Okay, baby. As long as you understand there’s no turning back! You want that, right?”

“I want that, Mommy! I love you!”

Mommy's eyes fill with tears as she hugs you again.

“I’m the luckiest Mommy in the world! I have my baby boy!”

“YAYAYAYA!”

“You’re so cute, little one! Ready to push send?”

“YEAH! PUSH IT! PUSH IT!”

“Okay, honey, here we go! You’re new life starts…now!”

Mommy never let you see what people commented on the post—but you couldn’t care less.

You didn’t have to hide anymore. You didn’t have to pretend. You were Mommy’s baby. Now and forever.

“Great, grab my hand and we’ll get a table!”

You give her your hand, letting her lead you to the host stand. “Hi, table for two please.” You follow her to your table.

“Sweetie, you don’t need to be nervous! You have nothing to be scared of! Just be yourself!”

You aren’t even sure how to be “yourself.” Not in this situation, anyway. “I know, I’ll be fine after I get a beer in me,” you say.

“You really are a cutie, but I can’t let you have a beer on my watch! How about apple juice?”

“That’s fine, I guess,” you answer, confused why you weren’t allowed a beer but she ordered a Cosmopolitan.

“So, Ashley says you’re not very experienced with girls because of your diapers. But don’t worry, sweeetie, that’s not a problem at all for me.”

“Yeah,” you mumble.

“Well, who cares! This isn’t that kind of date anyway! I’m not looking for a boyfriend, I’m looking for someone like you.”

“W-what do you mean?” you blurt out.

“Ohhh honey. You thought this was an actual date? No, I thought you knew! Like I said, I’m not looking for a boyfriend, I’m looking for a different kind of relationship!”

“What kind of relationship?”

“I want a cute boy to love, nurture, and care for. Someone who’s sweet and innocent. Someone who doesn’t mind that I check and change his diaper. Someone who listens to me and loves me. I want to be your Mommy.”

“My m-mommy? I don’t understand?”

“Well, think about it sweetie. You’re not going to find a woman who sees you like a real man. One who can satisfy their sexual and emotional needs. You’re in diapers, you know you can never be that person, right?”

You feel your heart beating faster. This wasn’t what you expected.

“Awww, sweetie, I don’t want you to feel bad! I’m not insulting you! I’m just saying you need a different kind of relationship. You need someone like me to help you through life. We’ll be together, but it will just be a little different than a normal relationship.”

“What kind of different?”

“Well, obviously, we won’t have a sexual relationship, for one. Mommy’s can’t sleep with their babies. But we will still have so many intimate, loving moments together. Like when I blow raspberries on your tummy during diaper changes. Or when I tuck you into bed for naps and bedtime. And so many more!”

“I don’t know, it seems a little weird…”

“It might now, but what other choice do you have? Are you going to be by yourself all your life, sitting alone in wet diapers wishing you could be with a woman? Well now you will never have to! You’ll be with me! I’ll love you more than you could ever imagine. You’ll make me the happiest girl in the whole world!”

“I guess that does sound better,” you concede.

“See! No more being alone ever again. You’ll always have me or one of my cute friends there with you to help you. You’ll never have to worry about your diaper again! Doesn’t that sound nice?”

“Yes…”

“And you’ll won’t have to feel bad about never having sex again! Nobody will judge you for it, they’ll love you even more because of it. You’ll be the sweet, innocent boy everyone loves. Doesn’t that sound better than looking at porn all alone every night wondering why you never have sex?”

“Yes…”

“And how much better will it be to know that you’ll always have me to love you? I’ll never abandon you. I’ll never leave you alone again. You’ll know you’ll always have someone that love you! Does that sound good?”

“Yes…”

“So you’ll do it? You’ll be my baby boy, for now and forever?”

“….yes.”

“Yes, what, baby?”

“Yes, Mommy.”

“Oh baby, I’m so excited!” she says, grinning from ear to ear, a tear in her eye, “I promise I already love you!”