A/N: I have to mention, if you are looking for valorant fanfictions some of them are old. Feel free to request a rewrite or any idea in general. If you request another fandom that I know of then I'd be happy to try and fulfill your request if not, I will personally respond to your message (or try to!). If you want to be tagged or put in a taglist for a certain person or fandom please tell me or pm/dm me!
(I'm still trying to get used to tumblr )
iâm 22 years old.
Genres:
fluff, angst , smut, lime, other
Bungou Stray Dogs
Multi -
poor little thing... (Fyodor Dostoyevsky x AFAB Reader x Osamu Dazai)
...What is going on. (Osamu Dazai, Reader. Chuuya Nakahara. Actor AU PT 2.)
Dazai -
Vampire - Olivia Rodrigo
Flashbacks
Ranpo -
acedemic rivals (ongoing)
Chuuya -
'Don't Go Insane' - DPR IAN
HAPPY BIRTHDAY -chuuya
Genshin Impact
Heizou -
Heart Stealer
Lyney -
Be In the Arms of Morpheus pt. 2
College Au w/Lyney and reader
(self-insert dancer! reader x Lyney)
Deceit in your eyes.
Xiao -
"How could I love you if you don't even love yourself?"
Salty. (Part 2 of ^)
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Reminder for when he âsavesâ it. He was the one who wanted this, and now he gets to be the hero and win favour with young constituents. Donât give him the credit for fixing his own problem.
summary: You wish your best friend would just leave your budding relationship alone.
pairings: beomgyu x fem!reader, soobin x fem!reader
word count: 25.1k
tags: angst, smut (MDNI), best friend and roommate!beomgyu, reader has a crush on soobin, chaewon is readerâs other bestie, so much possessiveness and jealousy, beomgyu is extremely clingy, manipulation, lying, arguments, a lot of crying, guilt
smut tags: multiple smut scenes lol (2 in this part), switch!gyu, switch!reader, guided & mutual masturbation, dry humping, praise, little bit of degradation, nipple play, very desperate gyu, fingering, overstimulation, oral (f rec), dacryphilia?, pet names (angel, pretty girl, baby, etc)
notes: finally releasing this monster from its prison cell (my google docs). been working on this for a month because whiny possessive best friend gyu has been haunting me every day⊠anyway i hope u guys enjoy, and lmk what u think!
You hated the walk back to your apartment in the winter. Itâs always so cold, and certain paths are always so icy. But you have no choice, and youâre fortunate enough that your job is only a ten minute walk away. Itâs snowing today, though, hard enough to make you take each step with caution.
The wind whips across your face, making you squint to protect your eyes. You make it all of two minutes before giving up and going into the nearest public establishment you walk by, which happens to be your cityâs library. You catch your breath as soon as you enter the building, taking off your jacket and folding it in your arms. You walk around slowly, looking for a comfortable chair to rest on. Itâs unsurprisingly very quiet in the building. All you can hear is people typing on keyboards and hushed conversations every now and then. Everyone looks busy here.
You find a secluded area in the back corner of the library with three lounge chairs. You rush to take a seat there, letting out a sigh of relief as you sink into it. Itâs right next to a heater, too. The yellow lights are soft and warm above you. You look out the window, watching the snow rage on. Now that youâre able to see clearly, you notice how thereâs a good four inches on the ground. Thereâs a few people passing by here and there, but the streets are mostly empty. Even the cars are few and far between.
You fish your phone out of the pocket of your abandoned jacket to call Beomgyu. He should probably know that youâll be back later than usual. By the looks of it, you could be waiting in this library for another hour.
âHiii,â he says. You can hear his smile in his voice, and it makes you light up.
âHi Gyu. Did you see the storm outside?â you ask, voice hushed so as to not disturb anyone. You donât think he had work today, so you wouldnât be surprised if he stayed home all day, unaware of the weather.
âYeah, weâre supposed to get six inches or something. Are you on your way back?â
You groan, âI was, but the wind is ridiculous right now. I had to take shelter in some library.â
He laughs at you. âShould I pick you up?â
âI donât think you should be driving right now honestly,â you answer.
âItâs gonna get dark if you wait it out though,â he reasons. âIâll pick you up, I donât mind.â You hear the jingle of his car keys when he grabs them.
âNo, donât, you can just pick me up once all the roads are safe,â you offer instead. âYou know youâre not a good enough driver to handle this weather.â
âWow. Iâm gonna drive through it just to prove I can now,â he says.
âThen the next time I see your face will be in some news article explaining the crash,â you snide.
âNo, itâll be an article about all the sick wheelies and 360s I did despite the storm.â
âYeah right,â you laugh. âHow are you even gonna do that with your shitbox?â You realize youâve been talking a little loud when you see someoneâs head whip over at you. You sink into your seat in mild embarrassment.
âIâm so good I could figure out a way to make this car fly.â You roll your eyes even though he canât see it.
âOh Iâm sure,â you say. âAlright, Iâll call you back when you can pick me up. Iâm just gonna chill here âtil then.â
âOkay. Hope they plow the roads so my shitty driving doesnât kill us,â he says, and you know heâs doing that stupid sarcastic pout.
âYouâre such a drama queen,â you reply.
âYou love it.â
âI guess I wouldnât put up with it for so long if I didnât.â You take another look out the window to check the weather. The wind calmed down a little, but not enough to go back out. Plus, youâre comfortable right now. âWell, Iâll see you, Gyu.â
âSee ya.â
As soon as the call ends, you relax further into the lounge chair. Your posture is horrid, with your back being more on the seat than it is on the back of the chair, but you canât bring yourself to care. Work was awful today: your boss scolded you about missing paperwork, a potential partnership with another company fell through, and your coworker wouldnât stop talking about her family problems on your lunch break. Thank God tomorrowâs Friday.
Youâre scrolling through Instagram when you notice a tall figure coming into your field of vision from over your phone screen. You look up and realize heâs coming closer to you. Your eyes widen for a second in panic, and you scramble to straighten your back out and look more presentable. You worry that perhaps this is a worker about to kick you out. Why? You donât know. Maybe youâre about to find out.
You look innocently up at the man as he finishes crossing the few steps it takes to reach you. You try to ignore how cute he is. And tall. And sexy. And really, really tallâdid you say tall? Heâs so attractive and so your type.
âHey, Iâm sorry, could I sit here?â he ends up asking. He points to the chair furthest from you, since you took the right-most chair of the three. Youâre a little stunned for a second, then you remember you have to talk.
âYeah, of course,â you say, nodding quickly.
âThank you. All the tables were taken,â he explains quietly, putting a bag down beside his chair.
âI know, itâs weird to see a library so full,â you say. He takes his laptop out of his bag and opens it on his lap. You think you might be watching him too closely, so you snap your head in another direction. There really is no empty table, you note as you look at all the people in the library.
âNormally itâs not. It must be because of the weather,â the man explains. You look back at him when he speaks, and a small smile finds its way onto your face when you see his bunny-like features. Youâre never the type to ogle at someone like this, but heâs seriously so pretty. You canât help it.
âI mean, Iâm only in here because of the weather, so I believe it,â you say. The man smiles. You swoon.
âMakes sense. Iâd remember if Iâd seen you before.â
You tilt your head. âWhy?â
The man looks down at his laptop, as if he canât look you in the eye when he speaks next. âAh, no reason. I-Iâm normally good with faces.â
Heâs adorable. You figure this is how you can pass time until the storm is over.
âSo you come here a lot?â you ask. You hope youâre not annoying him with all the conversation, but he seems happy to respond.
âI do my work here pretty much every day. I like it better than doing it from my home,â he answers.
âOh wow, you work remotely?â
âYep, and I get to choose my hours too. Itâs a perk of the job.â He starts typing something on his laptop. You watch his diligent fingers fly across the keyboard. He has big hands. Your head is reeling a little.
âI wish my job was like that,â you say. âWell, Iâll let you work now. I donât want to distract you.â You relax back into your chair, not realizing how close youâve been leaning in during the conversation.
âNo, I honestly like the conversation! It makes the time go by faster,â he rushes to say. You perk back up and canât control how you beam. Youâd be lying if you said that wasnât exactly what you wanted to hear.
âIâll make sure to keep talking in that case,â you giggle. âWhatâs your name?â
âIâm Soobin,â he introduces, looking into your eyes kindly.
You tell him your name. âNice to meet you,â you say.
âNice to meet you too.â
âSo, what exactly do you do for work?â you ask. Youâre surprised at how well he can focus on the conversation and on his work. Itâs impossible for you to multitask like that.
âI do software engineering for an insurance company. We just finished a major project a couple days ago, so thereâs not a ton to do for the rest of the week.â
âDamn, sounds like thereâs money in that.â
He laughs, âI guess so.â
âMy jobâs a lot less interesting than that,â you start, going on to explain your position, then about the mess of today at work, and your conversation with Soobin flows from anything to everything until you remember that Beomgyuâs waiting to pick you up. You look out the window to monitor the weather. It looks like the snow has long since stopped. The streets are plowed, only illuminated by the streetlights since itâs gotten so dark. You find yourself disappointed to have to cut the evening so short.
âAre you leaving already?â Soobin asks.
âYeah, my friendâs gonna pick me up.â When you unlock your phone, you find that Beomgyuâs already texted you a couple times. You also find that itâs been an hour and a half since you last called him. Holy shit, the time really did fly. You open his messages to read what he sent.
[Beomgyu] are u readyyyyy
[Beomgyu] ANSWER ME WHERED U GO
You call him, and he picks up after only the first ring.
âFinally,â he said. âYou had me thinking you started going back on your own or something and died.â
âPfft, you think so lowly of my survival skills,â you respond. âYou should head out now before I lose any beauty sleep.â
âOh, we canât have that,â he jokes. You hear him grab his stuff and shut the door behind him. âI hate parallel parking so just wait for me in front of the building, Iâll pull up.â
âOkay. Thanks, Gyu~â you say sweetly.
âMhm, see you,â he says.
âSee you.â
The drive is only a few minutes. You should probably head out front now. You look back to Soobin.
âHey, thanks for the conversation,â you say. âMade my shitty day a little better.â
âSame here,â Soobin agrees. He watches you put on your coat, getting ready to leave. You donât think he has it in him to make the next move, so you do it instead.
âYou know, it would be a shame if I had to leave right now without your numberâŠâ You blush as you say it, looking off meekly for just a second, then back to him to see him giggling. (You? Make him? Giggle? Fucking score!!!)
He motions for your phone with his hand. You canât wipe the grin off your face as you open a new contact page. You watch him insert his information.
âLetâs meet again soon,â he suggests when he hands his phone back to you.
You nod. âIâll be in contact,â you say and wave your phone in your hand. Perhaps youâll be making more stops to the library now.
You seem to exit the library at the same time Beomgyu arrives. You get into his car quickly to avoid the cold weather, shivering once you enter the car.
âWhy isnât your heater on?â you ask, fiddling with the buttons on the dash to turn on the heat.
âMy heater barely works. It wonât even kick in before we get back home,â he explains, shutting the heat off again. You make a face at him.
âThen drive, Iâm freezing,â you insist.
âIâm on it boss.â He gives you a salute.
His music plays quietly in the background of the ride. He has a nice taste in music, the type fitting for night drives.
âWhatâd you do today?â you ask him.
âPlay League,â he says. You laugh at him, and he looks away from the road for a second to smile at you. âWhat do you want for dinner?â
âWhy do you always make me decide?â you complain.
âCause I donât know what I want.â
âI donât know what you want either, you always reject my choices.â
Itâs a short drive to your apartment complex, so you arrive quickly. You rush to get inside once Beomgyuâs car is parked. The moment you open the door to your apartment, you fall flat onto the couch. You donât care how your face digs into the cushion, it just feels nice to alleviate the dayâs stress.
Beomgyu follows behind not long after. âDamn, you ran here,â he remarks. He stays at the door for a minute, probably putting all his stuff away, before he approaches you. You feel him taking your boots off your feet, which you forgot to do in your haste.
âThanks,â you murmur into the couch cushion.
âYouâre welcome.â He leaves you for a moment to put your shoes on the shoe rack by the door. When he comes back to you, heâs sliding your jacket off your arms. He folds it sloppily and plops it on the coffee table.
You turn your head so itâs facing him instead of being pressed into the couch. âWhatâd you decide for dinner?â you ask him.
He laughs. âWasnât that your job?â
âNo.â You sit up with great effort. He sits on the other side of the couch and extends his legs out. You freak out when he rests his feet on you. âNasty!!â
âI got socks on!â he exclaims in defense. You slap his feet away until he gives up and tucks his legs into his body.
âWhat time is it?â you ask.
Beomgyu checks his phone. âSeven.â
âIâm too tired to cook anything,â you say.
âI think we have leftovers we can just heat up,â he says, then gets up to look in the fridge and make sure. He holds a container out to you. âYou want?â
Looks good enough. âYeah,â you answer. He closes the fridge and grabs two plates.
âIâm so nice, cooking for you,â he says, portioning the food between your plates. âHow long do I nuke it for?â
âTry two minutes.â
The rest of the night follows like any other: you eat dinner with Beomgyu, you watch a little TV, you get ready for bed, then you sleep. You hope a certain tall, attractive man visits you in your dreams tonight.
When you walk back home from work the next day, itâs considerably better in terms of weather. Your eyes linger on the library as you pass it by, and your hand twitches around your phone. Soobin still hasnât texted you. Youâre a little disappointed, honestly. Every notification you received throughout the day made you light up, thinking it might be him. You might just put your pride aside and text him yourself at this point. You even think about walking back and waiting in the library for him, but then youâd just look weird.
When you get back home, Beomgyu isnât there. His work schedule is so inconsistent, you never know when to expect him. Heâs not a 9-5 worker like you, so you suppose thatâs where the difference in flexibility comes in.
You lean against the kitchen counter and find Soobinâs contact on your phone. You open a new conversation with him, excited to talk again. You donât think too much about your messages before you send them.
Hiiii
Itâs the girl from the library
You shut your phone off after, not expecting an answer for a while. You turn on your playlist and busy yourself with getting undressed, wiping off your makeup, and showering. You go back to the kitchen once youâre finished to figure out what youâre gonna make yourself for dinner. As youâre gathering a list of ingredients in your head, your phone vibrates on the counter. You grin as you rush to look at the messages, making sure not to open the chat immediately though.
[Soobin] Hi! Iâm glad you didnât forget about me
You find yourself giggling at the message. Youâll respond in a few minutes, not wanting to seem desperate by opening it right away. You pass the time by taking out some ingredients for the meal youâll make tonight. As you wait for your veggies to steam, you decide that now you can answer Soobin.
Forget you? How could I?
Hehehe
Wyd??
Youâre in a very chipper mood, swaying around as you stir your vegetables and decide theyâve softened enough. You hum the tune of a song while you add noodles into a pot of boiling water. Your phone buzzes when youâre in the middle of making the sauce, so you try to hasten your movements. You finish pouring everything in, giving it a quick stir and making sure the heat is on low before running to your phone.
[Soobin] Drinking and watching TV lol
[Soobin] How about you?
You take a picture of your stovetop, sending your work in progress to him.
Working on my culinary creations
Youâre done making your meal when he replies to that.
[Soobin] Looks yummy
You laugh and open your camera, taking a picture to send of the plated meal. You type your response immediately, not caring about waiting a few minutes between anymore.
Tastes decent
It seems he doesnât care to wait to respond to you either, cause his next text is immediate.
[Soobin] Woah five stars
Your conversation fizzles out not long after, but you feel satisfied with it. Even as you clean your dishes, your smile doesnât leave your face. You almost forgot how exciting it is to have a crush.
The next time you see Soobin is Monday after work at the library. You offered to hang out with him as he works, and he seemed more than happy to accept. He even asked for your coffee order so that he could bring you a cup. You need the caffeine after such a tiring day at work, you donât care if it keeps you up until midnight. The coffeeâs still hot, but not scalding, when you arrive. You take a seat in the same chair you sat in when you first met.
âThank you for the coffee,â you say, using the disposable cup to warm your hands. Your face still burns from how cold the walk here was.
âOf course,â he replies. âHow was work today?â
You shrug. âNot much to do. I almost fell asleep at my desk. Whatâs on your agenda for the day?â
You pretend to understand the techy language he spews back at you when he answers. You take a sip of your coffee, humming in appreciation at the taste.
âWhere do you get your coffee from? This place does it so good,â you ask, trying to look at the cup for a logo.
âActually, I get it from a cat cafe near where I live,â he answers. You gasp and look at him in awe.
âWhat?! Is it new? How have I never heard of it?â You always wanted to go to a cat cafe. Their delicious coffee is just a bonus.
âI donât think itâs new, but itâs kind of secluded, and the sign is small, so itâs easy to miss.â
âYou have to bring me sometime,â you insist.
âNoted,â he laughs.
It gets quiet when Soobin starts focusing on his work, which you donât mind. You look around the library, taking in the atmosphere. Soobin was right, there are way less people here today than there were on the night of the storm. The library is warm and nice and never loses power, so itâs not a bad place to turn to, you suppose.
You turn on your phone and find a text notification from Beomgyu. You open it.
[Beomgyu] are u on ur way back
You usually tell him when you wonât be back after work, but you guess you forgot to this time. Itâs reasonable for him to ask, since youâd be back home by now on a regular day. You explain yourself in a text message back.
No lol
Iâm out with somebody rn
Iâll be back for dinner
[Beomgyu] nooo donât make me cook
You snicker at his response.
Okay Iâll pick up something on my way back
[Beomgyu] muahahaha yessss
[Beomgyu] who are u with?
You think for a moment on how to answer the question. You donât want to tell Beomgyu about a guy youâre only just starting to see. Heâll flood you with questions that you donât want to deal with if this ends up going nowhere.
A friend you donât know lol
You put your phone down when Soobin starts talking to you again. Itâs so easy to sink into conversation with him. You find yourself asking most of the questions, liking his eagerness to explain little things about himself. You talk about yourself here and there too.
Time flies yet again, and you realize that you should be heading back home now. You remember promising Beomgyu to pick up dinner on the way back, but youâre not sure where to go. You look over at Soobin.
âDo you know any good spots for food nearby? I still gotta grab dinner,â you ask.
âYeah, thereâs a restaurant that does really good fried chicken, itâs not too far from here,â he answers, then tells you the name of the place. You commit it to memory. Youâre about to thank him before he starts up again, âIâll come with you. I haven't eaten much today.â He starts logging off and shutting down his laptop. Youâre so excited at the prospect that you donât turn him down, even though it means Beomgyu will have to wait a little longer for his food.
The walk to the restaurant is quick and filled with small talk. You get him to laugh hard at one of your jokes, and it feels better than scratching a winning ticket. At the restaurant, you sit across from him in a comfortable booth.
âThis one is really good,â Soobin says, pointing to one of the options on the menu. You purse your lips and nod.
âSounds interesting,â you say. âNormally I go for spicy chicken though.â
âThe sauce is so good on it. At least try some of mine,â he insists.
The waiter comes and you order your food. As you wait for it to arrive, you figure you should ask Beomgyu what he wants from here. You send him the link to the menu online.
Lmk what you want
[Beomgyu] omgggg that place looks so good
You feel even happier with your choice to go here now. Hopefully Beomgyu wonât feel bad that you ate without him. You donât linger on the worry, though, not when Soobin starts telling you about how his first job was at a restaurant that reminds him of this one. You lean into your palm, staring at his handsome face with a dopey smile. Maybe itâs just you, but today just feels like more proof that thereâs a lot of potential between you two.
Visiting Soobin at the library becomes a common post-work habit for you. You see him another three times in the next week. Thereâs something about him that wonât let your heart sit still, fluttering at each little thought of the man.
Your coworkers noticed you had some more pep in your step, and you wonder if having a crush is really giving you a glow. You were just excited to get out of work and go to the library. Even Beomgyu says something when you get back home.
âSomeone looks happy,â he says from the couch as you walk into your apartment. You didnât notice how hard you were still cheesing until he mentioned it. You take off your shoes and jacket.
âMaybe a little,â you giggle. Beomgyu follows you when you walk into your room. Itâs normal for him to accompany you while you get unready. He sits on your bed, and you sit at your vanity.
âWhat are you so smiley for?â he asks. You guess your happiness is contagious, cause when you look at him through your mirror, heâs smiling too.
âOh, nothingâŠâ you say, building up the anticipation. Truthfully, ever since you left Soobin today, you were planning on how you should tell Beomgyu about him. Youâre excited; you havenât had a real relationship since high school, and you feel it coming up on you now. Any day now, youâll get the courage to ask him out. Everything has been friendly so far, but you can feel the undertone of romance behind it all.
âWhat? Tell me!â he exclaims. He walks over to you, standing right by you as you clean your face. âDid you get a promotion?â
You laugh, âI wish.â
âThen what?â he asks. âIs it your new friend?â You shrug and sigh girlishly. You see his smile falter a little in the mirror.
He stops guessing and just watches you take off your makeup. He stays stood next to you, entertaining himself with the little trinkets on your vanity. His silence is a little weird, but you donât break it with conversation either.
You finish taking care of your face and get up to pull some comfier clothes from your dresser. You throw them on your bed and look over at Beomgyu. He takes the hint and turns to the wall so that you can take off your work clothes.
âDid you see the group chat?â he asks as you slide a loose shirt on. You hum in confirmation. Your friend group is planning to go out together to a nice bar tomorrow night. You even mentioned it to Soobin, gauging his reaction to see if heâd potentially come. âDid you wanna go?â
Something in your heart urges you to spill your secret now. You want to try to sound casual about it, even though you feel like you could talk on and on about Soobin. You donât let yourself pause too long, deciding to just speak without thinking too much about it.
âYeah, Iâm thinking Iâll invite the guy Iâve been talking to recently,â you say. Youâre not prepared for how Beomgyu whips his head around and looks at you like you said something insane. You finish pulling up your sweatpants quickly, but you donât think he even notices.
âWhat?! What guy youâre talking to?â he asks, and youâre taken aback by how appalled he sounds.
You put your hands up. âWoah. Chill.â
âNo. What are you talking about??â he pushes.
âIâve already been talking to him for like, two weeks, itâs fine.â You figure he must be upset because heâs cautious of you being with men you barely know. Thatâs fair, youâre weary when your girl friends bring up new men sometimes too.
Heâs quiet for a moment, and you think heâs dropped the case until he starts back up, âIs this the same person youâve been seeing after work?â
âYeah, heâs a really nice guy,â you answer.
âYou said you were with a friend.â Thereâs something accusatory in his voice. You tense up as defensiveness flows through you.
âBecause I was?â you say incredulously.
âDonât tell me thatâs why you came home so smitten today. I had a feeling.â He looks at you like heâs disgusted, but you canât figure out why. Itâs not like you did something wrong.
âYouâre not happy for me?â you ask. He looks away and huffs out a laugh. His arms are crossed over his chest, and youâre baffled as to why heâs taking so much offense to this.
âNo, I donât know this guy,â he says.
âThatâs why Iâd be bringing him tomorrow.â
âWhy? Itâs just supposed to be us.â You sit on your bed, and he doesnât follow. He doesnât even move from the spot heâs standing.
âJust give him a chance. I think you guys could be friends,â you suggest.
âFat fucking chance. No way,â he refuses. Now youâre getting upset, cause why the hell canât he at least try to hang out with the guy you just said youâre interested in? As your best friend, he should be in full support of you finding love.
âWell, Iâll talk to the others about it and see what they think.â You pull your blankets up and go on your phone, not paying Beomgyu any more attention. You hear him scoff and leave the room.
You lay on your side and replay the argument in your head. Did you bring it up wrong? Maybe you introduced the idea at the wrong moment. Maybe Beomgyu had a bad day, and heâs just lashing out at you. He never does that though, why would he start now? Youâre so frustrated. You wish you knew why Beomgyu cares so much.
Whenever you see him with girls, you donât make a big deal. You help him with what little gestures to do to make her feel special. You always give him advice. His relationships never last, though, and he hasnât seen anyone since you two moved together over a year ago.
Throughout the three years you and Beomgyu have been friends, you havenât dated a single person. You guess you were wrong to assume that heâd be happy to see you finally do so. Did he want you to tell him sooner? Itâs only been a couple weeks, though. Thatâs pretty soon.
You regret saying anything now. Beomgyu might not even go to the get-together if you ruined his mood that much. Maybe you shouldnât go. All your friends might get pissed at you the way Beomgyu did. You donât know what the right way is to introduce Soobin.
You throw an arm over your eyes and scowl at yourself. Why are you wallowing in self-pity? Beomgyu had no right to react like that! He forgets that you can do whatever you want with your life!
The smaller voice in your head reminds you that Beomgyu has always been a good friend to you. He rarely gets upset at you, and whenever he has, he was within his right. But this time? Really? Was it justified? You almost groan in frustration. You donât know. All you know is that youâre in dire need of talking to another girl now. You unlock your phone and open your chat with Chaewon.
Heyyy youâre going to the bar with us tomorrow right??
[Chaewon] YES!!!!
You smile at her response. You love her bubbliness. Itâs impossible to feel sad when youâre talking to her.
Thank god
We should get ready together at your place
Iâll just head there right after work
You hope she takes up your offer. It would be a huge stress relief for you. It would also be a good time to gauge her reaction on Soobin, as well as her thoughts on Beomgyuâs reaction. Debriefing lifeâeven the bad momentsâis never dull with her. Itâs like she always knows what to say, and sheâs always got what you need to hear.
A smaller part of this is motivated by the urge to avoid another argument with Beomgyu tomorrow. If he ends up coming, great. If he doesnât, hopefully it wonât weigh on your mind so much. You donât want to ruin your mood right before hanging out with all your friends.
[Chaewon] Omg yes please
[Chaewon] I have the cutest dress for you
You giggle and kick your feet in the air. Maybe you should ditch Soobin and let Chaewon carry you on her arm tomorrow night instead. Sheâs your hero right now.
I literally love you
[Chaewon] I LOVE YOU MORE
[Chaewon] IM SO EXCITED
ME TOO!!!!
Your shoulders feel less heavy after that. You shut your phone off and let out a sigh of relief. You find yourself excited for tomorrow to come now.
Luckily for you, your work day passes quickly. You speed walk the whole way to Chaewonâs place, not wanting to waste a single moment. Youâre excited for tonight, thankful that everyone said theyâd be able to come. You try to push back the worry that Beomgyu might not go.
Youâre out of breath when you knock on Chaewonâs door. She doesnât leave you waiting long, swinging it open with a squeal and hugging you immediately.
âHow are you?â she asks as she ushers you in and shuts the door. She takes your jacket for you as you slide off your shoes. She hangs it on a cute little coat rack.
âIâm good now that Iâm with you!â you say, beaming. She takes your hand and drags you to her bedroom.
âLetâs not waste any time, we gotta look hot before the hourâs up!â In her bedroom, she already has two small bins of makeup products on the floor. She gives you her makeup mirror and uses a smaller handheld one for herself.
âOh, I already did my makeup,â you say, trying to hand the mirror back to her. She raises an eyebrow at you.
âYou mean your work makeup?â
âWhatâs wrong with it?â you ask, looking in the mirror to check it. Looks fine to you.
âItâs cute, but itâs so modest. You need to look sexy,â she responds. You nod and point at her like she made a great argument.
âYouâre right, let me see what you got in these,â you say as you dig through her bins. You pull out the palettes and glosses that intrigue you. She also picks some products out for you, telling you how good theyâd look on you. You grab a few of your own products from your purse.
As you both start applying, you think back to Soobin. You wonder how heâll react seeing you in non-work attire. You bite back a smile at the thought. You still have to ask Chaewon about bringing him, though. You hope that Soobin kept his schedule free for this, but also that he wonât be disappointed if you donât end up inviting him in the case that Chaewon thinks you shouldnât.
âI got a surprise announcement,â you start, immediately grabbing Chaewonâs attention. She looks at you with wide eyes.
âIâm scared. Please donât be pregnant,â she says.
âWell, thereâs this guyâŠâ You canât even finish your sentence before Chaewon starts screaming. You burst out laughing, and she smacks the ground in amusement.
âOkay, okay, tell me more,â she pries once she calms down.
âHis name is Soobin. Heâs really cute, but also so hot. Like, Chaewon. I swear. I was drooling when I first saw him.â Her jaw is dropped open as she hears that.
âHow'd you meet?â she asks.
âWe met at the library a week ago and have been talking every day since,â you explain. âAnd girl⊠he does tech for an insurance company. That sounds like money to me.â
âBring me to his mansion when you get married,â she jokes.
âOh for sure. Imagine though,â you say.
âThatâs so good for you. I could actually cry for you. You needed this.â
âRight?! See, at least you get it.â
âI mean, who wouldnât? He sounds so good.â You pause doing your makeup to give her a pointed look. You emit an exaggerated groan and lean your head back.
âDonât get me started,â you say.
âWell now I have to hear.â
âWhen I brought it up to Beomgyu, he completely freaked out. I mentioned bringing Soobin with me tonight and he just lost it.â
Chaewon scoffs. âScrew him, I wanna meet the guy! Who cares what Beomgyu thinks?!â
âI care, I donât want him to be pissed at me,â you say, and Chaewon frowns.
âHeâs just mad cause youâll be getting it and heâll be watching from the sidelines,â she says. You push at her shoulder and she laughs.
âYou should try to set him up with someone so he gets off my ass,â you suggest, only half-joking.
âAs if heâll ever look at someone besides you.â You tilt your head upon hearing that response, not knowing what she means. She senses your confusion and continues, âIâm pretty sure he likes you.â
You rush to deny the claim, but your heart picks up in some weird sense of panic and shock. âThatâs not it at all,â you say. You shake your hand frantically in denial.
âKeep telling yourself that. Why else would he freak out like that?â she asks.
âOh my gosh⊠Iâm not even hearing this one out,â you dismiss, locking this conversation away to never think about it again. âSo, you think I should tell Soobin to come?â
âYes! One million percent. I have got to see this handsome stranger,â she answers.
âOkay, Iâll text him once Iâm done with this.â
âI havenât been this excited in so long!â Chaewon squeals. Honestly? You either.
The moment you find your friendsâ table at the bar, you notice Beomgyuâs absence. Your heart sits heavy in your chest upon realizing that. Chaewon grabs your hand, and you wonder if you were wearing your guilt on your face. Her reminded presence is reassuring. You sit next to her at the table and greet all your friends.
âDid anyone pregame?â Aeri asks. âCause I totally did.â
âGirl, I hope you Ubered here then,â Chaewon says.
âI drank a little, but only enough to feel a buzz,â Julie answers.
âAyy,â Aeri cheers while high-fiving Julie.
âMeanwhile we were too busy scrambling into these dresses to think about drinking,â you say, pointing between yourself and Chaewon.
âYou look hot, it was worth it,â Julie says.
âIs Beomgyu not coming?â Yeonjun asks, looking at you.
âIâm not sure. I thought he was,â you answer.
âHe better,â Julie says. âThe whole group hasnât gotten together in so long!â
âSpeaking of, thereâs gonna be an addition to the group tonight,â Chaewon announces, shimmying her shoulders and looking at you. You roll your eyes at her with a fond smile.
âI asked this guy Iâm seeing to come by tonight,â you inform, and the table erupts at the news.
âWhenâs he coming? Iâll give you my brutally honest opinion after seeing him,â Aeri says.
âOh, youâll love him,â you say. âDonât flirt too hard, I canât have you stealing him from me.â
âSo a little flirting is okay?â she jokes. You lean over the table to swat her shoulder.
âHe kinda gives shy vibes, so donât be surprised if heâs not as energetic as us,â you say.
âLetâs just get him super drunk then,â Yeonjun suggests. The table bursts into a chorus of âyeahhhhâs.
âOh hey, look who came,â Chaewon says, putting a hand on your shoulder and pointing her chin to Beomgyu walking towards your table. You hope your smile doesnât look forced and awkward, but it feels it as he comes closer. Your eyes dart from Chaewon, to your other friends, to your hands on the table, then back to Beomgyu. Your heart pounds in fear that Beomgyu might still be mad at you. He wouldnât come if he was that upset still, right?
He sits next to Yeonjun, and youâre holding your breath as you gauge the look on his face. He looks⊠happy. You release your breath slowly. He holds no anger in his eyes when he meets your gaze. A weight lifts from your shoulders.
Yeonjun slaps a hand onto Beomgyuâs shoulder. âFinally!â he exclaims.
âHey, you think Iâd miss a chance to drink with you guys?â Beomgyu responds.
âOkay, letâs get started. Should we each just open our own tab?â Julie asks.
âYeah, that works,â you answer.
âWait, I have no money, who wants to be my sugar mommy for the night,â Aeri says.
âYou can put yours on mine,â Chaewon offers. Aeri wraps her arms around her for a quick hug in thanks.
âI will pay you back in double when I get my next paycheck,â Aeri promises.
âAhh come on, donât worry about that, letâs just have fun,â she responds. Chaewon pulls you up with her to go over to the bartender. Aeri follows along with the two of you. The other three probably split off on their own to figure out their orders.
The three of you take a shot for good luck first, then you work on your own drinks. Youâre all giggling as you head back to your table with your drinks. Beomgyu and Yeonjun are back with their own beers, and Julie is nowhere to be seen.
âYou think Julieâs drunk already?â Aeri asks the table.
âOh, sheâs been drunk. When she says sheâs a little buzzed, that means sheâs fucking wasted,â Chaewon says. Everyone laughs because itâs true.
You donât know how much time passes where you guys just catch up on life and joke around, but at some point you feel your phone vibrate from a text notification. Itâs Soobin.
[Soobin] Iâll be there in a minute! Please wait for me at the front so I can find you
âGuys, I gotta go grab Soobin, Iâll be right back,â you say. Everyoneâs still caught up in conversation and doesnât pay much mind to your announcementâeveryone except Beomgyu. His eyebrows are upturned, eyes wide as they follow you when you stand.
You pat his head. âIâll be back,â you reassure.
You donât wait long by the bar door. Soobin finds you as soon as he walks in, greeting you with a hug. It takes your breath away for a second. Itâs fleeting, and itâs over before you know it, but it makes your heart race.
âHow have you been?â he asks. Youâre standing so close that you have to bend your neck to look up at him.
âGood, better now that youâre here,â you say. He turns his head away to laugh. Itâs unbearably cute. You have to stop yourself from squeezing his face in your hands.
âDo your friends know Iâm coming?â
âOf course,â you answer. âThey canât wait.â
âOh gosh,â he says, following you as you lead him to your table. It seems like Julie came back in the time you were gone, cause everyoneâs there when you get back. All the girls squeal upon seeing Soobin. You give them a knowing grin.
âHey man, whatâs up?â Yeonjun greets. âSit, sit.â He motions to the chairs on the opposite side of the table from him. You sit next to Julie, and Soobin sits next to you. Right across from you is Beomgyu. You tighten your lips when you see him looking off as if uninterested. You pray he can be amicable.
âYeah, so, this is the boy,â you say.
âIâm Soobin,â he introduces with an air of awkwardness. It endears you.
The next few minutes are filled with your friends getting to know Soobin. They make good conversation, and Soobin responds well. Yeonjun even grabs a drink for Soobin at some pointââBe careful, heâs got plans to get you super drunk,â Julie jokedâand it seems to loosen him up a bit. You just canât help but notice how quiet Beomgyu is, though.
âIâm gonna grab another drink,â you announce, patting Soobinâs back as you get up.
You seat yourself on a barstool, tapping your fingers against the bar as you wait for the bartender to come to you. You hum along to the song playing.
âHello again,â the bartender greets. You shoot your head up and smile. âSame as before?â Youâre surprised he remembers your order when thereâs so many people here tonight. You guess heâs just good at his job.
âYes, please,â you say. You go back to humming and tapping to the beat of whatever song the bar is playing. You look back at your table for a second. Everyone looks like theyâre enjoying themselves. It makes you happy to see your friends get along with Soobin.
You check your phone for any important messages, but all you received was a bunch of meaningless notifications from various apps. You shove your phone into your purse so you stop looking at it. Youâre here to socialize.
A hand lands on your shoulder, prompting you to look back. You were expecting it to be Soobin, but youâre not surprised when you see that itâs Beomgyu. You give him a smile as he takes the stool next to you. You look back at the bartender, and Beomgyu looks behind the two of you at the rest of the people here. Beomgyuâs arm stays slumped around you.
When your drink is handed off to you, you turn your full attention to your friend. âWhatâs up?â you ask. You swivel your seat so you can face him directly, forcing his arm off you. He leans into the bar, gettingâprobably tooâcomfortable.
âI just wanted to see you,â he answers.
âHowâs your night going?â You take a sip of your drink, licking your lips after. His eyes follow the movement.
âAlright, I guess,â he says. He looks out to the crowd again.
âYou should go dance,â you suggest.
He shakes his head. âI only like dancing with you.â
âIsnât that sweet,â you tease. He matches your smile before stealing your drink and taking a sip from it. âOh my god, you and your big ass gulps, all the time,â you reprimand jokingly.
âI barely drank any of it,â he defends with a pout. You laugh and pat his head to summon his lips back upward. It works immediately, of course.
âHowâs everyone doing at the table?â you ask.
He shrugs. âTheyâre having a good time. Soobin talks a lot.â Soobin wasnât talking that much when you were at the table, so youâre surprised to hear that. Maybe the alcohol started really coursing through his system in the short time you were gone.
âThatâs good,â you respond.
âAre you going home with him?â he asks, looking at you with big round eyes. Usually Beomgyu mellows down and laughs a lot when he drinks, but this time heâs a little different.
âWith Soobin?â you clarify. He nods. âProbably not. I donât think so.â
âGood,â Beomgyu says quickly. You laugh.
âWhy good?â
âDonât want him stealing you from me.â
âYouâre such a child,â you chuckle. He holds your hand over the table when you let go of your glass. Itâs not abnormal for him to be touchy with you, so you donât question it. He brings your interlocked hands up to his face and leans into them. His face feels warm on the back of your hand.
âLet me know when you wanna head to ours,â Beomgyu says. Heâs being cute right now, you canât help it when you let go of his hand so you can poke his nose. He beams at you.
âLetâs go back to the table,â you say, grabbing your drink and getting out of your seat.
âNo, stay here with me.â Heâs so needy. You look him up and down, assessing him.
âHow much did you drink?â you ask. You swear he only had a couple beers. He ushers you back into your seat with a gentle hand on your hip. âGyu, I canât just leave Soobin for the rest of the night.â
âHeâs having fun. Donât mind him.â
âI brought him here though,â you reason.
He sighs, and his eyes lose their sparkle. He turns his head so heâs not facing you anymore. âFine,â he says.
âYou canât seriously be upset with me for this?â
He still doesnât look at you. âIâm not.â
You bite your tongue and decide to leave it at that, even though you know heâs lying. Heâs jealous for no reason; itâs not like youâre going to abandon your best friend all because you might have a man in your life. Soobin and you arenât even anything more than friends right now. You wish you could talk some sense into him, but you donât want to do that in public.
Beomgyu will wallow alone for the rest of the night if you leave him now. The choice is on you: abandon Soobin at the table, or abandon Beomgyu right here. Itâs not like thereâs a correct option.
You look at your table. Soobinâs intently listening to Yeonjun as he rambles on about something, while the girls seem to be in a conversation of their own. Does Soobin need you right now? He seems like heâs holding his own. Your eyes fall back to the boy that definitely does.
âBeomgyu,â you call, shaking his shoulder so heâll look at you. He does. âLetâs go home.â His smile returns immediately.
You already start thinking of what excuse youâll text Soobin later.
You wake up feeling suffocated by both the tight dress youâre still wearing and by half of Beomgyuâs body weight being sprawled on top of you. Curse him for insisting on watching a movie with you last nightânot only is he crushing you now, but your laptop fell off the bed sometime during the night. He better pray it survived the landing. Neither of you even finished the damn movie.
You push him off of you, not caring how hard you do it because of how much of a heavy sleeper he is after he drinks. You sit up and look at yourself in your mirror. Your makeupâs a little smudged, but you donât look totally crazy. You let yourself wake up for a minute more before sliding off the bed to check on your laptop. The screen lights up with the title card of the movie you watched. Phew. You close the device and stuff it back in the drawer of your nightstand.
You change into comfier clothes and wipe away the mess on your face. You carry on with your morning routine as usual, then lounge on the couch as you wait for Beomgyu to wake up.
The first thing you see on your phone is Soobinâs response to your text from last night. You ended up telling him that Beomgyu wasnât feeling well, and you had to take him home. Thatâs not a lie, is it? Beomgyu was definitely not going to be okay if you carried on the night without him. You shake the thought and open Soobinâs text.
[Soobin] Donât worry about it :) I had a feeling something happened
You didnât doubt that heâd be understanding. He really is a good person.
You pass the day alongside Beomgyu once he wakes up, hanging with him in his room for most of the day. He plays his games while you go on your phone. You make dinner for the two of you, and Beomgyu cleans the dishes.
You watch him scrub at your plates from your spot at the table. You want to ask him about Soobin, but youâre nervous about him reacting poorly. You donât want to argue again.
Beomgyu couldnât be that immature about it though, right? If you just ask him for his opinion on Soobin, itâs not like he can really take offense to that. Youâre genuinely curious, and you obviously want his approval on the guy youâre talking to. You bite the bullet and just go for it.
âSo, whatâd you think of Soobin?â you ask. Youâre eager to hear his review, albeit a little nervous. He gives a short laugh in distaste, and your brows scrunch in confusion. âDid you not like him?â
He shuts off the sink and dries his hands after cleaning the last dish, then leans his back on the counter and stares at you with an unreadable expression, which is weird because you can normally tell exactly what heâs thinking.
When he finally responds, his face is just as indecipherable. âI donât think heâs the right guy for you.â
âWhy?â Youâre genuinely curious. Maybe youâre wearing rose-tinted glasses, and Beomgyu could see something that you couldnât.
He sighs, âHe was just⊠giving me bad vibes.â
âHow come?â you ask.
âJust a feeling,â he explains. You groan. What a non-answer.
âWell, I think heâs super charming.â He scrunches up his face like you said something disgusting. âStop being like that,â you scold.
âI canât help it. Itâs gross,â he says.
âYeah okay. I didnât say it was gross when I was helping you get a new girl every week,â you mention.
âThat was years ago!â Beomgyu whines.
âStill happened.â
âThatâs not a fair comparison,â he complains. âAnd it wasnât every week.â
âSo itâs wrong when I find one guy I like and want to be with?â you question. He groans and crosses his arms.
âWhy do you even need a boyfriend right now?â he retorts. âWhatâs wrong with what we have?â
You pause. What the hell is he on about? Having a friend is very different from having a boyfriend. Heâs completely serious, too; his face is stone.
âUm, nothing? I donât know what that has to do with thisâŠâ you answer, unsure. He sighs and makes his way over to you, but never gives you a response.
He picks up your hand and helps you out of your chair. Is this seriously where heâs gonna end the conversation? No, you want a real answer. Youâre only being left with more and more questions.
âDonât bring me back to your room, I want to talk about this,â you say.
âThereâs no point,â he responds. He might be right, but you still want to know why heâs acting like this. You take your hand back from his grasp.
âWhy donât you like Soobin?â you ask, more demanding now. You harden your stare on him, but heâs not budging. You cross your arms as you wait for an answer. âWell?â
âWhy does the reason matter so much?â he asks back.
âBeomgyu, what the fuck are you saying? Why are you being so secretive?â Anger starts filling your words, you canât help it. Itâs not fair for him to shit on Soobin nonstop without telling you why. If something happened that made him form this opinion, then you want to know.
âCalm down,â he says, and it only serves to upset you further. Before you can bark at him, he continues, âI just donât think you need to be seeing anyone right now.â
âWhy?â you demand.
âCause you have me!â he exclaims like itâs obvious.
âThatâs different!â
âIt doesnât have to be,â he says. You tilt your head and look at him incredulously.
âWhat does that even mean?â you groan.
âWhat do you want from him? I can give it to you instead,â he pleads. Somethingâs changing in the air of this conversation, something youâve been pushing to the back of your mind for your own sanity. Chaewonâs words from yesterday rattle in the cage you mentally locked them in. You push them back, not letting them escape. Thatâs an impossible and crazy thought.
âStuff that best friends donât do with each other,â you answer plainly.
âWhy not? We can. Nothing has to change,â he says.
Your head is spinning and you want to sit down. You rub your temples and close your eyes. Everything in your mind is flying by too fast for you to make sense of it. Beomgyu holds one of your shoulders, and you back away instantly.
âI think Iâm gonna spend the night at Chaewonâs,â you say, defeated. You feel a serious headache coming on.
âDonât, please,â he begs. âIâll talk, I promise.â His eyes are watery now, and it only fuels your stress more. How did you manage to make him cry? What is going on?
âI need to collect my thoughts.â You just want to get out of this now. Beomgyu was right: this conversation was pointless. Now youâre left with more confusion than you know how to deal with.
He quickly gets on his knees in front of you, big eyes pleading to you, hands clasped over his heart. Heâs going too far for this right now.
âWhat is wrong with you?!â you exclaim, half-frightened at the sight of your best friend acting so different in front of you. âWhat in the world has gotten into you?!â
You try backing away, but he wails immediately and stops you. âNo!â he yelps, clinging onto your legs to keep you from moving any further. He leans his tear-soaked face onto your thigh. His skin is warm against yours, and you suddenly regret wearing such tiny shorts. You try moving away again, but your back hits the kitchen counter, and you realize youâre cornered.
âI was here first,â Beomgyu says with conviction, like that justifies his whole argument, like youâll stop seeing Soobin just because of that.
âCan we talk about this like adults?â you ask. He looks up at you with those watery wide eyes, and you canât help but feel your heart ache a little. You soothe him with your touch, running a hand through his hair and down his face, collecting his tears. He leans into your touch and wears the most pitiful frown youâve ever seen.
âPlease,â he begs quietly. âYou donât need anyone else, you have me.â
âGyu, get up,â you say, trying to keep your voice authoritative but gentle.
He doesnât, of course. âTell me what to do,â he insists instead.
âI just did.â
He scowls at that and nips at the flesh of your thigh. You jolt in surprise and pull his head back by his hair. He winces in pain for a second, then looks up at you like a puppy.
âBehave,â you warn, and he smiles like heâs getting what he wants.
âI will, Iâll be good, tell me what to do,â he pleads again. He looks delirious off of this. It twists your stomach and makes you release your hold on his hair. He immediately goes back to your thighs, licking a short stripe up it, reaching the hem of your shorts. You gasp as your legs twitch, and he looks up at you with a grin.
âI canât be doing this,â you say, and Beomgyu rolls his eyes in annoyance. You get another nip to the thigh, harsher this time. âEnough with that,â you tell him, swatting at his head.
âSo you get a boyfriend and suddenly I canât be close to you anymore?â he spits bitterly, angrier now. He stands back up, crowding you with his proximity. You hate how you immediately feel like you have less power. A part of you wants him back on his knees.
âWe are still close.â
He scoffs at that. âYeah right. Itâll be different now and you know it.â
âWell now itâs gonna different, since you put on that whole fucking show!â you argue, swinging an arm out in disbelief.
His brows are drawn together, and he looks at you furiously. âI canât just sit back and watch another man have you in whatever way he pleases.â
âWeâre friends, Beomgyu! Thatâs it!â you exclaim. You donât bother correcting his assumption about Soobin âhavingâ you. âNo amount of confessions is gonna erase Soobin from my life just like that.â
He clenches his jaw and stares at you silently for a few long seconds. The tension is so palpable and thick, you donât even dare to breathe. He grabs your wrist and brings you down the hall, into your room. He lays you on your bed with a gentleness that doesnât match the anger on his face. You know where this is going, youâre not stupid. You should stop this. You need to stop this.
Words get caught in your throat. You should speak, you should yell at him. You should shove him away and put him in his place. This is too far, too much.
You donât stop him when he crawls onto the bed with you. You donât stop him when you see the hunger in his eyes as he scans your frame. You wouldnât stop him no matter what he does right now, your guilty conscience snides.
Your core clenches when Beomgyu brings himself down to hover over you. He remains wordless, just examining your every feature. Youâre scared youâll give away too much and let him in on your desire, but a darker part of your mind hopes that he catches it. Fire builds in your stomach as the moment drags on.
âTell me what to do,â he whispers. Heâs so close that you feel his breath on your face. You stay quiet. He traces up your jaw with the tip of his nose, smiling when your breathing stutters.
He pulls away a bit, just enough to stare at where your hips almost meet. Youâd just have to push forward a few inches to close the gap, but you hold back. His hand finds your hip, thumb rubbing you comfortingly.
âTell me what you need,â he tries again. You bite back a whimper at the deepness of his voice. He laughs at how you still donât respond. âYou this quiet with Soobin too?â
That pisses you off and brings you out of your haze. âNo, I give him whatever he wants.â Itâs a lie, but you mostly say it to piss him off, and clearly youâve struck a nerve judging by how he grits his teeth.
âIâm trying to be good for you,â Beomgyu says. He grips onto your waist tight. âIâm showing you Iâd do anything for you.â
âSoobin does that just fine,â you say pointedly. Neither of you are amused, and the moment is laced with venom from both sides now.
You gasp when Beomgyu suddenly takes your thighs and pulls them up toward your body, exposing your clothed pussy to him. You try to shut your legs, but Beomgyuâs hold is too strong and doesnât budge. He smirks when his eyes land on the damp spot over your core.
âDoes Soobin make you soak through your shorts like this too?â he taunts. Before you can even think of a smart reply, heâs bending you even further, bringing your knees to the sides of your head. He has you folded firmly in half, and it feels so demeaning, but it makes you so wet. He laughs at the sight of you, slack-jawed and speechless.
Youâre fully-clothed but feel so exposed. Your heart is beating erratically. Youâre starting to shake from how worked up you are; you ache for him to do something.
âNo, he doesnât, does he?â he continues, and you whine. âYou can pretend all you want that heâs the man of your dreams, but you know heâll never compare to me. Isnât that right?â
You donât respond to that. Youâre too far gone in your lust to trust yourself to talk; youâll end up saying something you regret. Beomgyu finally releases his grip on your legs, and you feel all your arousal leaking out of you as soon as your hips fall back on the bed.
âYou donât wanna tell me what to do? Thatâs fine. I can read you like a book. I know what you want,â Beomgyu says before grabbing your hand and placing it over your cunt. You immediately grind into it, losing yourself in the stimulation. He smiles deliriously at the sight, running his hands soothingly up your sides. âThatâs it, now youâve got it. Now youâre being good.â
One of his hands leaves you, the other helping to keep your legs spread. When you focus your attention back on him, you see him pulling his dick out and stroking himself. He spits in his hand before wrapping it around his length again, and you moan at the sight. He looks delicious.
His eyes are wild as they try to take in every part of you. Itâs hard to keep yours open, but you want to watch him as much as you can. Something like this can never happen again, so you need to take it in.
You work your hand faster over yourself when you see him tug at his length with more fervor. His mouth drops open when he moans. He looks so pretty, making a mess out of himself. The sight is addicting, him panting and kneeling over you. You never thought about him like this before, but now thoughts this lewd will plague you.
âGyu,â you whine, trying to find the perfect rhythm to get yourself off, but you need more. He senses your urgency and gets his hand off his dick in favor of grabbing your wrist. He plunges your hand past your shorts and panties, guiding it to your core. You gasp at how crude the action is. He bites his lip as he takes your two middle fingers and forces them into your fluttering hole. You moan at the intrusion, which was made so easy thanks to how embarrassingly wet you are. The slick sounds of your cunt fill the air, loud and filthy.
Beomgyu wraps his hand around your wrist again to control your movements, pacing the way you fuck yourself. It feels so scandalous and so hot, you find yourself getting worked up quickly. He makes you fuck yourself with vigor, and the way your palm meets your clit with each thrust has your mouth falling open. You stay in the rhythm he set even as he pulls away to fuck his fist again. His grunts and moans are shameless, and theyâre like music to your ears.
âFuck, youâre so dirty, youâre a dream,â he rambles, clearly teetering on the edge. He squeezes the meat of your thigh, then your hips, then palms your ass. âAre you gonna cum, my angel? Are you gonna let me see how pretty you look when you fall apart?â
âYes, please,â you answer breathlessly, back arching into the feeling. Beomgyu bites down his smirk and runs his hand down the outside of your thigh.
âWanna see it so bad, fucking dreamed of this.â You can feel the mattress shake from how hard heâs fucking his fist. His grip is bruising on your thigh, and he moans when he feels you jolt in pleasure. âYeah, keep fucking yourself like that. So perfect.â
You moan out as you finally cum, clenching down on your fingers and throwing your head back as the sensation takes over you. You hear him whine, and it makes you tighten even more around your fingers, dying to hear it again.
âSo good, so good for me,â Beomgyu praises in a shaky voice. You can tell his high is approaching. âLook so b-beautiful.â
âCum for me, Gyu, let go,â you urge, making him moan out again. You slip your fingers out of your cunt but keep your hand over it, fingers ghosting over your clit as you watch Beomgyu lose himself. The slight overstimulation is delicious, and you bite your lip to keep yourself from whimpering at the feeling.
âHave I been good to you?â Beomgyu asks, out of breath as he squeezes the base of his cock. He strokes himself slowly once he regains his composure.
âSo good, felt so nice,â you answer, feeling blissful after your orgasm.
âYeah? Better than Soobin?â he asks, increasing his speed again. You canât even scold him before his motor mouth starts running again. âCould fuck that little pussy so much better than him. Make you feel so good. Make you forget about him.â
He pushes your shirt up with his free hand, and before you can even react to that, heâs pushing up your bra too. âOh my god, Beomgyu!â you exclaim, pulling your hand from your pussy to cover your tits. Beomgyu yanks your arm away and brings your fingers to his mouth. You stare at him in shock as he sucks your juices from your digits, diligently swirling his tongue around them. Heâs moaning around your fingers, and a second later heâs spilling his load onto your stomach and breasts. Your mouth drops open. Heâs got a lot of nerve doing all that; unfortunately for you, it was the hottest thing you have ever seen.
He takes your hand out of his mouth once heâs cleaned your fingers off, whimpering as he rides out the last of his high. He looks down hungrily at your body, taking in the ropes of his cum splayed on your skin. Like the horny freak he is, he sticks his fingers in the mess and smears it all over your torso.
âGross,â you laugh. He ignores that. He tugs at your nipples with his cum-coated fingers. You yelp at the sensation, and he coos at you. He does it again, and again, until heâs had enough of his fun. He stares into your eyes, and you wish you could crawl away from his heated gaze, itâs that intense. His thumbs return to tease your nipples, but he doesnât pull his eyes away from your own.
âYouâre mine. Never see him again,â Beomgyu declares like itâs final.
âWeâre meeting tomorrow,â you respond. He pinches your nipple harshly for that.
âWhy? Cancel. Just stay with me,â he offers instead. You try to get up onto your elbows, but Beomgyu pushes you back down against the bed. He continues absentmindedly playing with your tits. Heâs practically sitting in your lap to do so.
ââŠCan you wipe your cum off of me?â you ask, ignoring the conversation at hand.
âBut Iâm having so much fun.â He pouts. Heâs cute like this.
âI let you have enough fun today,â you say with no real bite. He sighs like it will kill him to do so before getting off the bed and leaving for the bathroom. He comes back a minute later with a wet towel, and itâs peacefully quiet as he wipes you down.
âHeâs not even really my boyfriend, you know,â you mention, watching his focused face as he rids you of the mess he made.
âSure,â he laughs bitterly. âTell him that.â
âWe never made anything official,â you say.
âThen whyâs he parading around telling everyone how youâre his girl?â Beomgyu asks, giving you a hard stare. You pull your bra and shirt back down once he finishes cleaning you, trying to feel a little more decent. He throws the used towel on the floor and crawls in bed next to you.
You perk up at that. âHe is? How do you know?â
He stares straight ahead instead of at you. âYou donât gotta sound so excited.â
âIâm just curious,â you defend.
âRight,â he says, not believing you. âYesterday at the bar he said it. Multiple times.â Did he? You hold in your gasps and squeals and suppress the urge to kick your feet. Maybe you were too drunk to remember, or maybe Soobin was saying it while you were away from the table. Or maybe Beomgyuâs just psychotic and putting words in Soobinâs mouth.
âWow,â you say as nonchalantly as you can.
A few silent moments pass where you find yourself filling the time by trying to ignore Beomgyuâs stare on you. He turned to his side at some point and seems to find you to be the most interesting thing in the room. You try to focus on your nails, the walls of your room, your disorganized vanity, but nothing lifts his stare from you. You give in and turn your head to him, raising an eyebrow in question.
âWell?â you prompt.
âWhat now?â he asks.
âNow⊠you get out of my room,â you say, holding eye contact and keeping your expression still. His face falters immediately.
âAre you joking?â he asks incredulously, backing away from you with a scoff, propping himself up on his elbows.
âThis shouldnât have happened, Gyu,â you say with a sigh. You know it hurts himâit hurts you, tooâbut you canât do this while youâre seeing Soobin. Youâve already crossed the line.
Beomgyu is silent and unmoving. After a minute, it becomes clear heâs not leaving. You donât know if itâs out of stubbornness or desperation. He lays back down and curls himself into you, tucking his face in your neck and holding you tight.
âBeomgyu,â you warn, but to no avail. He stays there and nuzzles further into you, and youâre so pathetic that you just let him. A stronger woman than you would have put her foot down, but that kind of power doesnât find you in this moment.
Another long minute passes, consisting of you staring straight at the ceiling, listening to your combined breathing. You think of how Soobin would feel if he found out about this. How are you going to look him in the eye tomorrow? Do you tell him about this? Is it wrong to keep it a secret?
You try to pull away from Beomgyu, but he doesnât let you move. âPlease, Beomââ
âStop,â he murmurs, putting his hand over your mouth just long enough to get you to stop talking. âLet me have this one night. He gets you every other time.â
You canât help but feel a little aggravated at that. âBecause heâs the one Iâm seeing! This is wrong!â
âWhatâs wrong is you looking for other men when Iâm right here,â he says with finality. When you donât respond, he continues, âSo letâs just go to sleep.â
You decide to let him win this time, telling yourself that this will never happen again. Sleep doesnât find you easily with the guilt eating you alive, but it does feel kind of nice to have Beomgyu hugging you like this again.
When you wake up, Beomgyuâs already gone. You let out a sigh of relief. You feel bad for not wanting to see him, but you know that last night changed things. Thereâs a conversation that needs to be had that youâre not sure youâre ready for.
You sit up and stretch, then check the time and notice that itâs already nearly 10. Your eyes go wide, horrifiedâyouâre supposed to see Soobin at 10! You have less than twenty minutes to get ready!
You leap out of bed and run to your closet, looking for a cute dress to throw on cause you have no time to curate an outfit. Once you have the dress selected, you hold it in front of you in the mirror. The fabric is super soft and looks casual enough while still being pretty. The light color of it looks great on you, too.
You donât have enough time to linger on your options, so you go with it. You fold the dress and run to the bathroom to finish freshening up and getting ready. You need to take the quickest shower of your life.
Youâre rushing out the door once everythingâs complete, cursing at yourself as you check the time. Itâs already ten minutes past. You shoot him a text as you scramble down your apartmentâs stairs.
Hey! Iâm gonna be a bit late, leaving now
Forgot to set an alarm, my bad
Wait for meeee
You shove your phone in your jacket pocket and speed walk down the street. Youâre lucky enough to live near the heart of the city, so everything is at walking distance. Youâre halfway to the cafe when you feel your phone buzz with a response.
[Soobin] No worries. Iâm waiting :)
[Soobin] Gives your coffee some time to cool down
You smile at the response. Of course he already bought your coffee. Of course he memorized your order. Itâs Soobin, heâs the most thoughtful guy youâve ever known. Your phone buzzes with another text notification. This time itâs Beomgyu.
[Beomgyu] omg whereâd you go i got stuff for breakfast!!!
Your heart squeezes at the prospect. You rush to type out your responses.
I said I was meeting Soobin today
Iâm sorry
Brunch?
You slow down your walking, finding yourself nearing the destination too quickly. You just want to get Beomgyuâs response before seeing Soobin. Your phone buzzes when he replies.
[Beomgyu] hmm.. ok brunch
You donât find yourself excited, though. You guys do things like this all the time, but now youâre just nervous. It makes your stomach churn with anxiety. You know things have changed. Even if he acts like nothing happened, you both know something did.
You shove your phone into your pocket when you arrive at the cute little cat cafe. You wipe the sweat off your palms before opening the door. You try collecting yourself before looking for Soobin, whoâs sitting at a small table near the front of the shop. You smile when you see him, but itâs only half-genuine; the other half of your mind is busy trying to push down your worries about Beomgyu.
You seat yourself across from Soobin, who smiles widely and fully-genuinely at you. âIâm so sorry Iâm late,â you apologize. âThank you for the coffee.â
His smile stays on his face as he watches you grab the cup and feel for its temperature. âIt should be good to drink now,â he says. âI had company, the cats were coming to me.â
You laugh before taking a sip of your coffee. Itâs the best thing in the world, youâre grateful he got it in advance for you. The hot drink eases your mind a bit. You look around the cafe until you spot a cat. Itâs a fluffy black and white one, perusing around lazily.
âThat one is so mean, donât pet it,â Soobin says, following your gaze. He brings your attention to a different cat with a pointed finger. âThe orange one sunbathing there is the best.â
âOh yeah? Youâre an orange cat fan?â you ask.
âI think youâd like that one,â he says. As if the cat could hear that, it gets up and starts walking toward you.
âLook at you, cat whisperer,â you joke. The way his face scrunches when he laughs makes your heart flutter. The orange cat brushes up against your legs when it finds you, and you immediately coo at it. âHello, sweetie! Can I pet you?â you say, bringing down your hand for it to accept. The cat rubs its head against you, and you pet it lovingly.
âSo youâre more of a cat person?â he asks. You look up from the cat to pay attention to him.
âI like all animals,â you say.
âWhatâs your favorite?â
You think for a second. âShould I say bunnies because you look like one?â you giggle.
âThatâs a good answer,â he laughs with you.
âWhat would have been a bad answer?â
He looks up in thought and leans his face on his palm. âMaybe a mole or something?â
âHey, I like moles,â you say.
âYou like all animals.â
âWhat a good listener.â
âItâd be a little sad if I forgot something you said just a minute ago,â he responds.
âMen are like that,â you joke. You feel your phone buzzing with a call notification. âSorry, let me check this.â
Why the hell is Beomgyu calling you?! You told him you were withâyou roll your eyes. Thatâs why heâs calling you. Heâs so petty and childish. You shove your phone back in your pocket.
âNo one important?â Soobin asks.
âItâs Beomgyu,â you answer.
âAh, you should answer then,â he reasons.
âIâm sure it can wait,â you dismiss.
âI need to go to the bathroom anyway, you can call while I go.â He smiles as he gets up.
You donât really want to, but as you watch him walk away, youâre stuck sitting alone with nothing better to do. With a sigh, you unlock your phone and open your messages with Beomgyu.
Whatâs up
His response is immediate.
[Beomgyu] when are u coming back
You hold your head and groan at his antics. Itâs been ten minutes and heâs acting like youâve been gone ten days.
Whenever weâre done
Maybe an hour
He calls you again. Reluctantly, you answer. âWhat?â
âI just wanted to talk,â he says.
âNo, you just want my attention. Itâs one hour, I think youâll live.â
âI think I wonât,â he counters. So annoying. You find yourself laughing for some reason, though. You see Soobin coming back, and you quickly fix your posture and tuck your hair back. That was fast.
âI gotta go,â you say abruptly. Beomgyu doesnât get a word in before you hang up. He texts you his final words instead.
[Beomgyu] UR SO MEAN
Soobin sits back down in front of you. âWhatâd he say?â
âA whole lot of nothing,â you answer.
Soobin laughs. âIs that usual for him?â
âAlways,â you groan.
After a moment, Soobin finds a new topic. âSo what kept you up so late that you slept in so much?â
You freeze at the question. You have all of one second to decide if youâre going to spill the truth, or if youâre about to lie to his face. It would be the right thing to do to be honest with himâŠ
âBeomgyu and I were hanging out,â you decide on saying. Itâs technically true, but it feels like a cover-up rolling off your tongue.
You try to reason with yourself. You didnât have sex. You got yourself off, with your own hand, and you didnât touch him at all. The most he did was a little titty touching⊠so what? Thatâs so high school. It doesnât even count.
You wonder if it would fool Soobin, cause itâs not fooling you.
âOh, mustâve been fun then,â Soobin says. âHopefully you can catch up on some sleep tonight.â
Heâs so kind. You feel so gross. You donât deserve him. Your smile doesnât meet your eyes.
âYou got any other plans for the day?â Soobin asks.
âIâm doing brunch with Beomgyu after this,â you answer.
âWow, you spend a lot of time with him,â he comments. You donât know why you feel a little offended at that.
âYeah, weâve been best friends since our senior year of high school. We moved to the city together, so weâre roommates.â
âMust be nice. I came here alone, so it was a little hard at first,â Soobin says.
âHow so?â Youâre honestly glad to shift the questions towards him for a bit. You like learning about him, and you hate how you always seem to end up talking about Beomgyu.
âIâm really shy, so making friends took a long time,â Soobin answers. âIâve been here a few years now, though, so I made a decent community.â
âThatâs nice. Whatâd you think of my friends on Friday?â you ask. âI heard you get chatty when you drink.â
He laughs and scratches his neck shyly. âYour friends were nice. I donât think Beomgyu was very interested in talking to me though.â
You conceal your groan. Why does it keep coming back to Beomgyu?! You wish last night never happened so you could feel normal about this conversation. Even then, though, it wouldnât erase how Beomgyu acted before that.
âYeah, I donât know, Iâm sorry. Mustâve caught him on a bad day,â you excuse.
âMaybe. He seemed fine talking to you, thoughâŠâ he mumbles, and you can tell that itâs bothering him. Now you really feel like shit. Any attempt you make to comfort him would be a lie after what you let happen between you two.
You grab Soobinâs hand, making his head pop up from where he was looking down all sullenly. âThank you for coming that night. It means a lot that you met my friends,â you say. That puts a smile back on his face.
âGuess I gotta introduce you to mine now,â he says.
âIâd love that!â
âIâll plan a day. How busy are you this month?â he asks.
âNot super,â you answer. You go on to ask about his friends, listening to him as diligently as you can while ignoring your phone buzzing in your pocket with text after text. You can guess who theyâre from.
The moment you get back home, you find Beomgyu already near the door waiting. He lights up, but youâre not amused.
âThat texting and calling shit needs to stop,â you say, looking him dead in the eye.
He pouts and points at the table. âI made us food. It was gonna get cold.â You look at the table. He set up the dishes all cute, with plates of meats and pancakes in the middle alongside a bowl of berries. You sigh.
âWe couldâve made it together when I came back,â you mention, but the fight leaves your voice. You wish you werenât so endeared by him. Youâre so weak, it makes you curse at yourself in your head. You sit at the table and pile some food onto your plate. He sits across from you and does the same.
Youâre not sure what to talk about. You feel your skin heating up as you remember what happened the last time you were with Beomgyu. He must be thinking about it too. Maybe arguing about Soobin would be better than dealing with the awkwardness you feel right now.
You take a quick glance at him. Heâs smiling and swaying around as he chomps down on his food. If he notices your discomfort, youâre glad he doesnât say anything. You try to focus on your food instead of him as much as you can.
Usually Beomgyu is the only person you feel like you can do anything around, but right now youâre second guessing every little thing you do. Did you stare at him too long? Should you not check your phone right now? Where should you be looking? Does he know youâre overthinking this right now?
âI hope this is better than whatever you just did with Soobin,â he says, breaking the silence. You stop eating for a second to give him a disapproving glare. Thatâs one way to cut through your thoughts.
âYou need to stop being so jealous,â you say. His neediness is being turned up to 100, and you donât know how to deal with it. Whatever he thinks heâs doing is only going to drive you away from him.
âWell, I have to fight for your attention now,â he explains. You roll your eyes.
âNo you donât, I still spend most of my time with you.â Itâs ridiculous that he thinks youâd just drop him like that. You literally live with him, you canât avoid him. His insecurities are getting the best of him, and itâs changing your relationship with him.
âBut soon youâll spend it all with him, and Iâll have no one,â he says like he can see it all already. Gosh, seriously? His brows are upturned and the slightest frown mars his face. Why must he try to break your heart?
âWhereâd you get that idea? Iâm not going anywhere. Youâll always be the most important person in my life,â you reassure him. He looks down like he canât stand to make eye contact anymore. His shoulders slump.
âI just have to make sure you donât forget me,â he mutters. He keeps his eyes down. You sigh.
âI won't forget you. Canât you just trust me? Iâm telling you youâll always be my number one. What more do you want to hear?â you ask.
He meets your eyes again. They still look sad. His lack of response puzzles you; he always has so much to say. You stay staring at each other for what feels like an eternity, until you pull your gaze away, unable to handle it.
You know youâre not in the wrong here. Itâs not abandonment to just see another guy. He looked so pitiful, though. It wouldâve hurt less to see him get angry and yell at you. He canât really help how he feels, and you suppose it is a big change. What does he want you to do, though? Well, stop seeing Soobin. But youâre not going to do that.
You go to your room without another word, needing to leave his presence. It murks your mind and leaves you unable to think clearly. You text Chaewon to come over when sheâs free. You just need to get your mind off of whateverâs developing between you and Beomgyu.
When her knock sounds at your door hours later, you run to open it, excited to finally talk to someone who wonât give you a headache. She holds up a grocery bag full of your favorite snacks, smiling ear to ear. You make a mental note to splurge for her next birthday; she always treats you so well.
You usher her to the couch and offer her a drink. She turns on the television and finds something to play in the background. Once youâre both situated, you open one of the snack bags and throw a blanket over the two of you.
âWhat did you do this weekend?â you ask her.
She doesnât look away from the television when she answers, âJulie and I went to a spa.â
âOh my god, and you didnât invite me?!â you say in faux offense, although you definitely would have liked to go.
She laughs and points at the bag of food in your lap. âI made up for it with those.â
âYou still owe me a day out,â you joke.
âI know, Iâm thinking weâll go to an amusement park in the spring. You down?â she asks.
âOh, for sure,â you confirm. You go quiet for a bit, captured by the show Chaewon put on. The two of you make your own commentary on the characters and their decisions. You share looks when something crazy happens, and burst out laughing when Chaewonâs prediction about one of the plot lines comes true.
This is the stress relief you needed. You already feel lighter and happier. Good thing you asked Chaewon to come over. During a commercial break, Chaewon turns to you.
âOkay, I have to ask, how are things with Soobin?â Chaewon asks. The question doesnât irk you, partially because itâs not Beomgyu asking it, but mostly because Chaewon put you in a better mood.
âItâs going good with him,â you say. You look down the hall to make sure Beomgyuâs door is shut. Talking to Chaewon about this might actually clear things up for you. She always has good advice.
âTell me more,â she prompts, leaning in with a grin.
âWell, we went to a cafe todayââChaewon cuts you off with a delighted oooooââand it went really well. He wants me to meet his friends next.â
Chaewon gasps. âYouâre halfway into boyfriend territory now!â
Ugh. âAbout thatâŠâ you start.
âUh oh,â Chaewon lets out.
âI really, really like Soobin, itâs justââyou shut up immediately once you hear Beomgyuâs door open. Thereâs no way he heard you, not unless he was intentionally listening in, and if he did, is he ballsy enough to come out and argue with you now? With Chaewon right here? You hold your breath.
He walks into the kitchen, and you let yourself breathe again. You watch him carefully. He opens the fridge. Itâs a little early for dinner, so heâs probably just looking for a drink or a snack.
âHey! Talk to me about that sexy tall man!â Chaewon says, bringing your attention back to her. You laugh nervously.
âLetâs talk about you, actually,â you say in attempt to shift the conversation. âHow was your spa day with Julie?â
âWe had fun, but it was nothing more important than Soobin updates!â she assures. Sheâs talking so loud, you flinch thinking about Beomgyu listening in.
âI donât think we should talk about him right now,â you say, eyeing Beomgyuâs figure in the kitchen. You release your breath when you notice heâs still distracted in his search through the fridge.
âGirl⊠what,â Chaewon deadpans, following your gaze. She looks back at you, brows scrunched. You share a glance, and she puts two and two together. âYouâre kidding me.â
âPlease,â you whisper.
âHe is so ridiculous,â Chaewon complains, shaking her head in disapproval.
âI know, but I canât talk about it right now. Later, please,â you continue in a hushed voice. Beomgyu settles on an energy drink, closing the fridge and advancing toward the two of you. You pray Chaewon drops it.
âHey Chaewon. Whatcha guys up to?â he asks as he lingers by where you sit on the couch. You look to Chaewon with pleading eyes. Hers are unamused and disappointed.
âJust talking,â she answers, her voice lacking any emotion. Beomgyu nods.
âCool. Whatâs on TV?â he asks.
âSome crime show Chaewon likes,â you respond. Itâs quiet for a minute, and youâre trying not to feel antsy. Beomgyu definitely didnât hear your conversation about Soobin, but you canât shake the reaction Chaewon had. You were just about to tell her how Beomgyuâs been acting, but now the conversation will have to wait.
When Beomgyu takes a seat next to you, you know that you wonât be able to talk to Chaewon about Soobin until the next time you see her. He puts his arm on the couch behind you and gets himself comfortable. Itâs not like youâre going to ask him to leave, so you just lean into his side. You might as well make use of his warmth.
The three of you watch a couple more episodes of Chaewonâs show, and after some time your anxiety leaves you. It feels like a normal hang out, not like youâre in between your best friend you just got intimate with and your other best friend who has no clue.
âAre you having dinner here?â you ask Chaewon. She shakes her head.
âI think Iâm gonna head out now, actually. Iâve got a few things to do,â she says. She gets off the couch. âBut you need to come over tomorrow, âkay?â She points at you. You already know itâs because she wants to finish the conversation you started before Beomgyu came in. It mustâve been pestering her mind.
âI will,â you say. You get up from the couch to hug her. âThanks for coming over.â You walk with her to your door.
âLove you, see you tomorrow!â she exclaims, waving.
âLove you too!!â You wave back.
Once Chaewonâs out the door, you return to Beomgyu on the couch. You lean your head on the armrest and fold your legs so theyâre not resting on Beomgyu.
âI donât wanna go to work tomorrow,â you complain. He laughs.
âWhen do you ever?â he asks.
âFridays, cause thereâs donuts,â you answer. He tugs on your legs to pull you closer to him. Your shirt rolls up a bit as he drags you down the couch, but he fixes it for you.
âCall out sick or something,â he suggests.
You groan, âI only get, like, seven sick days.â
âYou should skip and we should go to the shopping center.â You hit his chest with your knee at his offer. He smiles down at you.
âThe difference in maturity levels between us is crazy,â you say.
âI keep you young,â he jokes.
âBitch, weâre the same age.â You hit his chest again.
Your phone buzzes on the table in front of you, but before you can sit up to check the notification, Beomgyu flips the device so itâs facing down.
âWho texted me?â you ask.
âNo one,â he answers. âWhat do you want for dinner?â
You hum in thought. âIâm not really hungry honestly. I filled up on Chaewonâs snacks.â
âSame.â It falls silent, so you grab your phone and finally check your notifications.
âYou liar, you said no one texted me,â you say, reading your text notification from Soobin.
He wears a mischievous smile. âOops. Mustâve read it wrong.â
âYeah right,â you say. You open your phone, going to respond to Soobin until Beomgyu takes your phone from your hands. âHey!â
He shuts off your phone and puts it in the pocket of his sweatpants. âTalk to me instead of going on your phone.â You scowl at him, who looks back at you with a teasing grin. Asshole.
âGive me back my phone,â you order, hand reaching out for him to place it in. Instead, he takes you by the hand and drags you into his lap, laughing when you yelp.
âWhy donât you take it?â he offers, looking down at his pelvis.
âIâm not digging in your pants to get my phone back,â you say.
âWill you dig in my pants for other reasons?â He wiggles his eyebrows. You bite down your smile and smack his arm.
âYou wish, freak.â
He snickers, running his hands up your arms. âI do wish.â
Youâre acutely aware of the tension starting to build in the room, and you canât deny how youâre getting excited in the heat of the moment. This is innocent enough, right? Youâre just being playful with each other. Just because youâre starting to feel a little worked up doesnât mean youâll act on it.
You move your hand slowly down his chest, traveling down his torso, making your way down to the pocket of his sweatpants. He stares at you with big dumb eyes, and you hold back your laughter. You pry open his pocket, sliding your hand in and retrieving your phone, letting the weight of it drag across his thigh as you pull it out from the fabric.
âGot it,â you whisper, a winning smile on your face. You throw your phone behind you on the couch. You donât know why you donât move from your position, though. Maybe itâs the satisfaction you feel at watching his mouth fall just the tiniest bit open at your actions.
His hands grab your waist, thumbs lifting up your shirt just the tiniest bit, revealing a sliver of your stomach. He brings you forward on his lap, moving you even closer to him, and your eyes widen when you feel his half-hard length beneath you.
âGyu?â you say, searching his eyes. He looks drunk off this moment, and he doesnât bother to hide his lust. Itâs evident all over his face, from his lidded eyes to his bitten lip. âMaybe we shouldââ
âDo you wanna ride me like this?â he interrupts, hands moving to your hips so he can guide them into a slow grind. You gasp at the sensation, not realizing how aroused youâd gotten. You feel him hardening below you the more you sway your hips over him. You feel dizzy.
You drop your head in his neck and let out a shaky exhale, letting him control your movements. God, this is so wrong. Youâre doing this again? Youâre really bad at keeping your own promises. But fuck, when your clit catches on the head of his cock, even through all the clothes, it feels like heaven. You canât even think about how you should stop.
He slides your hair to one side of your neck and kisses the side he bared. âGood girl,â he praises, keeping your hips in a slow rhythm that has your brain malfunctioning. You whine, and your thighs twitch and tighten around him.
Beomgyuâs rock hard now, and you wish he didnât feel so sinfully good. He presses his hips further up against you, and the added pressure makes you moan out before you can hold it back. He laughs and scatters wet kisses onto your neck.
âLook at you,â he says, voice so low it makes you shiver. âPretty little thing getting herself off on my lap, creaming her pants for me. Cute girl.â He hastens your rhythm for you and holds you down tighter against him. You gasp and cling onto his shirt.
âGyu, Gyu, please,â you stammer, feeling your high approaching.
âI know, sweet girl.â He matches your rhythm with his own hips now, making your toes curl.
âIâm gonna cum,â you breathe out, moving yourself even faster over him, losing yourself as you chase your orgasm.
âYes, fuck, cum for me, I need to see it,â he insists, watching you spasm and shake over him. He moans out at the sight, and the sound is what brings you over the edge. You feel his dick twitch as you ride out your high, and you realize he came in his pants too. The thought makes your head spin.
You slow down as you begin to come down, holding his face in your hands. You wear a dopey smile, and he looks just as fucked out. Youâd like to ruin him one day, to see him beg for pleasure and get more than what he can take. He has a pretty face for things like that.
Your hips still over him completely, and Beomgyu connects his mouth to your jaw. He sucks on your skin there, and you push his head away. âNo marks,â you tell him. He nods quickly and goes back to licking and kissing and sucking your skin.
He trails his kisses down to your neck, lapping at every inch of skin he has access to. Heâs messy with his tongue, coating you in his saliva. Itâs so filthy, but it has your core pulsing again. You donât know why he has this effect on you.
You jolt when you feel his teeth on your neck, biting down and sucking hard. It makes your hips push forward, and he moans against you. Youâre not too far gone to let him get away with that, at least.
âAre you serious?â you scold, pulling Beomgyu away by his hair. He kisses your cheek, just barely missing your lips. You gasp, flustered.
âSorry,â he apologizes quickly, breathlessly. He lays you down on the couch and lifts up your shirt and bra. He decides to connect his mouth to what he reveals there instead. He swirls his tongue around your nipple and sucks, squeezing and fondling your other tit with a hungry hand. You whine out when he just barely scrapes his teeth against the bud, fueling the heat in your core. He switches sides so that he can suck your other breast, delivering wet kisses to it.
His free hand travels up your thigh and stops just inches from your cunt. He swipes his thumb lazily over your inner thigh, so close you can feel it ghost your center. Itâs getting you desperate for relief. You close your thighs around his hand, and it brings him right to your core. He moans against your chest at the collision. You wonder if he can feel your wetness through your thin pajama pants.
He rubs his hand against your cunt, moving slow enough to keep you wanting more. He detaches his mouth from you and stares at how your hips gyrate against him. He bites his lip and presses his fingertips harder against you, teasing your entrance through your clothes.
âOh my god,â you moan, throwing your head back.
âFuck, let me finger you,â he insists, bringing a thumb to your clit. Your head is spinning from the pleasure. âI need to, Iâve got to feel you.â You feel his bulge on your thigh, heavy and hard. You cry out. You feel your moral ground starting to slip.
âTake off my pants,â you instruct. âJust those.â
He rushes to follow through. Your pants are on the floor in an instant, and his hand is right back on you. He drops his head into your neck when he feels you this time.
âYouâre drenched,â he moans. He runs his index finger through your folds over the cloth, so soaked through that he can feel the outline of your pussy perfectly. He pushes his index finger just barely into your hole, watching your panties scrunch up into it.
âGyu!â you yelp.
âLet me, let me, let me,â he pleads, jamming his finger just a touch further. Your hands wrap around his arm, needing purchase on something. âYou want to cum so bad, right? You want to feel good?â
âWhat do you want?â you ask back.
âTo make you take whatever I give,â he answers. Your entrance flutters over his finger at that. âSo let me take these off,â he says, pulling his hand away to snap your waistband.
You feel your sanity leave you. You need that pressure back in your cunt. His eyes are dark and blown out. He pulls your panties down just barely, letting them sit below your hip bones, your center still covered. Heâs agonizingly slow as he pulls further and further, not daring to reveal your cunt until you say so.
âYouâre driving me crazy,â Beomgyu whispers.
Heâs the one driving you crazy. Your mind is completely fogged over. Youâve been turned into some kind of lust-drunk whore, seeing as you canât focus on anything but him if you tried.
âTake them off,â you finally give in. You pulse and ache where you need him most. Beomgyu wastes no time when he pulls your panties off and away, and the first thing he does is hold your legs wide open and stare at your pussy.
âSo perfect and slutty for me,â he says in his deep voice. âGonna make this little pussy all mine.â
You whine at his words, thighs twitching and trying to close. You need him to do something, you need him to fill you. Your hole clenches over nothing, the emptiness starting to kill you. Beomgyu bites his lip and watches as your arousal leaks from you.
âYouâre so cute, maybe I should just keep you like this,â he muses, laughing when you cry out and shake your head. âNo? But I love watching this sweet cunt leak for me. Youâre dripping like a whore.â
You arch your back, push your hips out, do anything you can, but he still doesnât relieve you. You try to bring your own hand down to your pussy, but Beomgyu grabs it and pushes it back against the couch by your head.
âPlease touch me!â you plead, desperate beyond belief. You might even start crying.
âAww, my baby needs me,â he coos, soothing his hands up your thighs. âMy pretty girl needs me, only me.â Finally, his fingers find your clit. You melt into the feeling, sighing in relief. Your hips twitch closer to his hand, making sure he wonât leave.
âThank you,â you moan. Beomgyu holds your face with his free hand, staring into your teary eyes.
âDonât cry, Iâll give you what you need,â he says, voice soft. He dips a finger into your cunt, stopping once heâs knuckle-deep. He fucks his finger into you slowly, and you sigh at the relief. He watches his finger sink into you, humming in pleasure when he sees how it collects your wetness.
His actions pull soft moans from your mouth, but you canât bring yourself to conceal them. Itâs not like you need to be embarrassed anyway, seeing how much Beomgyu loves your reactions. You get sick of his slow pace after a while, trying to ride his finger faster.
âMore?â he asks. He inserts a second finger into you. The stretch feels like heaven, you crave to be stuffed by him.
âYes! I need it,â you exclaim. He picks up the pace a little. âThank you, thank you..!â He laughs a little and leans down to kiss your forehead.
âYouâre so nice to me right now,â he notes with a smile, fucking you faster on his fingers in appreciation. âThis is how you should always be.â You pay no mind to the wet squelches your pussy makes as he pistons into you. Your stomach muscles clench as you feel yourself getting closer.
He starts curling his fingers inside of you, and it doesnât take him long to find what heâs looking for. You arch your back and yelp at the sensation of him pressing against the spongy part inside of you. He grins and keeps thrusting against that spot, watching your reactions with amused eyes. His head moves down between your thighs, biting and sucking at all the flesh his mouth can find, then wraps his lips around your clit once he grows tired of marking you.
âAh! Gyu! Thatâsâmmh,â you sputter, rolling your hips up into the feeling. Itâs so much. He pushes his fingers into you harder, deeper, with more purpose. He toys with your clit using his tongue, swiping and flicking it while he sucks. Youâre right there and he knows it, doubling his efforts.
The pleasure takes you under, and you cum with a cry. Your hands find purchase in his hair, tugging at the strands. It makes him moan, and the vibrations fuel your orgasm. Heâs hungry for it, fingers coaxing as much of your cum as he can get out of you. He doesnât give up his pace even as you start to come down, fog clearing from your mind.
âThatâs enough,â you say, trying to push his head away. His mouth leaves you for all of one second before he latches himself back on. âBeomgyu, I alreadyâfuck!â He sucks harder now and hooks his fingers harshly into you to rub right against a spot that has you seeing stars. He only pulls his fingers out long enough to push a third one in, pressing right back where he was.
You gasp, pulling his hair again, needing something to keep you in reality cause you feel like youâre about to slip. You shake and twitch with overstimulation, but Beomgyu doesnât care. Itâs like he hasnât gotten his fill yet. Heâs careless with how he breaks you, paying no mind to your bodyâs limits.
Your orgasm builds up and hits you quickly thanks to Beomgyuâs determination. Your thighs clamp around his face, but that doesnât stop him. You whine and mewl as Beomgyu feasts on your arousal. Your poor pussy clenches hard around his three fingers, so much he canât even thrust them anymore, so he curls his fingers rapidly inside you instead. Your cum pools out of you and onto his hand, your juices dripping out of you uncontrollably.
He pulls away, panting, staring at your pussy. He licks a stripe up it, then goes back down to circle his tongue around your entrance. You whimper and push his head away. He meets your eyes, and his dark gaze softens when he sees your teary ones.
âCanât you just take a little more?â he asks. His eyes donât leave yours as he nibbles and sucks on your thigh. You shake your head and push his face away again. With a pout, he rises back up so his face is hovering over yours. You donât know why fondness overcomes you when youâre staring at him, but the feeling isnât entirely unwelcome.
âYouâre so good,â you say, cupping his face and giggling. He leans his face into your neck, and you can feel his shy smile form against your skin. He comes back up with stars in his eyes.
You want to kiss him, and the thought scares you because youâve never wanted that before. The feeling is so overpowering that you have to look away. You try to find interest in the wall, but Beomgyuâs movement makes you turn your head back to him. He leans back to admire you.
He smirks at the sight of your thighs, prompting you to look down at them too. Your eyes widen in horror at all the marks he sucked onto them. He pats your leg with a happy grin on his face. âNo more short skirts around him,â he says. What a little shit.
âBeomgyu!â you scold. Dignity finds you and forces you to sit up and reach for your clothes on the floor. Before you can grab anything, Beomgyuâs placing you in his lap and holding your face much too close to his. His hips jut up into yours, and you gasp upon feeling his erection. Of course heâs hard again.
âI still need you,â he whines. âPlease, donât go yet.â You pull your face away from him, so he takes your hand and presses a kiss to your palm. His puppy eyes are so sweet and pitiful, you have no choice but to stay. One sad look from him is all it takes for him to get whatever he wants from you. Youâre weak.
âI-Iâm still sensitive,â you say as he grinds into you. He grips your hips hard, keeping you in place so you have no choice but to take it. You can already see your juices on his sweatpants, leaving a damp mark right over his cock.
âYeah?â he asks, half-breathless. Itâs like heâs not even listening to you, too focused on humping you like a bitch in heat.
âYes, slow down.â He drops his head on your shoulder and pants heavily, not slowing down at all. Youâre buzzing in overstimulation, legs twitching uncontrollably. His hands are shameless as they try to grab at every part of you. He squeezes your hips, your waist, your tits. His tongue is warm on your skin as it trails up to your ear, where he bites down and sucks.
He pushes himself further against you, giving you no space and no chance to leave. He wraps his arms around you and pistons his hips like heâs actually fucking you.
You gasp, âG-Gyu! Stop being bad!â You tug his hair, forcing his head back. His mouth drops open, and he stares at you through lidded eyes. Lust has possessed him, and your words only fuel him.
âThen punish me,â he says. You pull his hair harder, forcing his head back as far as you can, and suck on his neck. He moans louder than youâve ever heard from him before, and his hips stutter in their rhythm. His hands keep you pressed against him as close as you can get. You moan when you feel his dick twitch through his clothes. For a second, you wonder how it would feel inside of you, but you shove that thought to the back of your mind.
You detach yourself from his throat and watch his face twist up from the pleasure. You look down to see the cum stains on his pants, giggling at the sight. Your hips jerk, and he gasps at the sensation.
Your eyes land on the mark you sucked into his neck. Itâs darker than the ones he plastered all over your thighs. You want to feel ashamed or appalled for leaving that on him, but all you feel is some sort of satisfaction. You let your body fall limp against him, sinking into his hold and laying your head on his chest. His hands run to soothe you, brushing through your hair and rubbing your back.
You avoid asking questions. You avoid talking at all. You donât want to know what this is or what it means, you just want to bask in the afterglow of whatever this is. The unpacking part of this will be a problem for future you.
Even if you hate yourself for this tomorrow, you canât think of anything better than Beomgyuâs embrace on you now. Youâve already crossed so many lines with him, adding a few more wonât hurt. You find yourself wondering what things youâd like to do with Beomgyu next.
You lean back to stare at his face. His smile is blissful and lazy. You canât pull your eyes from his lips. Even in the middle of winter, they still look so soft. You wonder what it would feel like to run your tongue over them, or how they would feel wrapped around your fingers. Would they be carnal and unforgiving against your own, or would his lips find yours in a sweet, gentle kiss?
You feel his hand on the back of your head. Heâs pulling you closer, and you panic. You tilt your head so that your lips find his jaw instead of his mouth. You pull away after planting a little kiss there. Your gaze flits down his face for just a few seconds before you lean in to place another kiss on his jaw, a little higher than the last, lingering a little longer.
âA real one now,â he requests, eyes pleading and hands resting on your neck. You peck his nose, then his cheek, then his other cheek. He holds your face still and whispers your name. You share the most intense stare youâve felt in your life.
You close the gap and let your lips touch for just one second. Itâs soft and simple, and itâs enough to satisfy your curiosity, but Beomgyu has to come back for more. His lips feel so nice, they were made to be kissed. His fingers dig into your hair, desperate, clinging to you as if youâll slip away from him. His kiss is hungry, like he wants to consume you, like heâs trying to find a way to your soul through your mouth.
You use both your hands on his chest to push him away, and when you succeed, you stare at him with wide eyes. Youâre trying to get your breathing back under control. His face is flushed.
âPlease, you canât go back to Soobin after that,â he begs. The fragile glass holding this moment together breaks, and your sense crashes back over you immediately. Shit, you forgot about Soobin. How could you have forgotten about Soobin?!
You pull yourself out of his lap and stare at your best friend with horrified, blown-out eyes. What the fuck? What did you just do? You have to tell Soobin, you have no choice now. Next time you see him, youâre going to spill everything thatâs happened with you and Beomgyu. This isnât right. This isnât fair to him.
âGyu⊠Iâm so, so sorry,â you apologize getting off the couch slowly, putting on your clothes. How do you save this? How do you stop yourself from breaking both Soobinâs trust and Beomgyuâs heart? There has to be a way to salvage this. There has to be a way to make this okay.
âWhy?â He shoots up, holding your arms so you stay. âWhy would you be sorry?â He shakes his head like heâs not understanding, but his eyes tell you that he knows. He knows youâre going to try to stop this again. What will he do to prevent you this time?
âI shouldnât have kissed you,â you whisper. You canât even look him in the eye.
His disappointment only shows for a second before itâs overcome by need. A need to stop you from leaving, a need to show you that heâs yours, a need to prove himself to youâyou know it all already, itâs happened so many times before. You canât give in. Not again. Not after you let him get this far. If you allow this, what else will you let him do?
His hands are shaking as they cup your face. When you meet his eyes, you see tears already falling from them. You hate it. You hate it so much, how youâre always the cause of them. Youâre always finding new spots to put your knife, slower ways to kill him. You know it by now; you know heâll be hurt, but you do it time and time again, and you never learn your lesson.
This time it will change. This time you have to mean it.
âStop making this so hardâŠâ you say, hushed, as you wipe his tears from his face.
âI canât leave you alone,â he insists. âYou donât get it. Itâll kill me.â He turns his face to kiss your palm. You try to pull your hand away, but he catches your arm and brings your wrist to his mouth, kissing you gently over your pulse point.
Why does your heart race? Why does your breath catch? He keeps finding new ways to fluster and confuse you, and all this just to make sure you donât leave him for Soobin. You donât know whatâs more pathetic: the fact that he keeps doing this, or the fact that it keeps working.
You smooth your hand down his neck and rest it on his shoulder. âJust go to sleep,â you tell him softly.
âCome with me. Donât make me go to bed alone after this.â He looks so cute and hopeful, you almost give in. You tighten your lips and place a parting pat on his chest.
âGood night,â you say before walking to your bedroom. He must know better than to follow, because he doesnât. You try to ignore how your bed suddenly feels so big and empty.
âTell me everything, girl,â Chaewon says as soon as you settle onto her bed with her. You rushed over to her place after work, needing to debrief her on whatever has been going on between you and Beomgyu.
âFirst promise me that you wonât hate me,â you start.
âOh, this is how I know itâs gonna be good,â she chuckles.
âPromise me!â you repeat, clutching onto her legs and locking eyes with her.
âI promise!â You lean back and let out a dramatic sigh, preparing yourself for your recap of all the events. Youâve got a lot of explaining to do.
âSo, remember the day we went to the bar, how you said you think Beomgyu might like me?â you ask. She nods. âI think you mightâve been right. Things have been getting weird.â
âI literally fucking knew it, I knew he mustâve been on some shit,â she says, looking excited to hear more. âContinue.â
âWellâŠâ you trail off, feeling your stomach knot up in fear of actually saying what happened out loud. âOh my Godddd, I canât.â You hide your face in your hands.
Chaewon pushes your hands down and shakes you by the wrists. âTell me!â
You take a deep breath. âOkay, so. At the bar, Beomgyu came up to me and was like are you leaving with Soobin? And I was like no, and he was so happy about that. But then he got really upset when I wanted to go back to the table with Soobin. Literally so upset that I ended up going back home with him cause he was gonna sulk all night otherwise.â
âOh my fucking God, Aeri and I were literally joking about that being the reason why you left. Thatâs crazy,â Chaewon says.
âThe next day, I asked him for his opinion on Soobin, and he got all pissed at me for some reason,â you continue.
âItâs cause he likes you!â Chaewon chimes in, rising up and screeching with the adrenaline of the conversation.
âWell then it gets crazy. He starts talking about how our friendship is enough, I donât need a man, and Iâm like huh? I donât even remember everything he said, but it was so weird, and he started offering himself up to me basically.â
âWhat?!â
âYeah. Like, Iâll do whatever you want, literally like that,â you explain.
âGirl.â You share a glance.
âJust wait. It gets worse,â you say.
âDonât tell me you fucked.â
âJust wait!â you repeat. âSo I tell him Iâm gonna head to your place to clear my mind, andâI canât make this upâhe drops to his knees and starts crying actual tears. And then it gets kinda horny?â
Chaewon busts out laughing and claps her hands. âHowâd I know?â
âHeâs biting and licking my thigh, and Iâm still trying to talk some sense into him, but some demon ends up possessing me and he takes me to my bed, and we donât fuck but we⊠yeah.â
Chaewon covers her mouth in shock. Sheâs speechless, and you let the first half of the story ruminate in silence for a few long seconds. You tighten your lips and nod like youâre disappointed too.
âWhen we finish, I tell him that this is never happening again, and that he needs to leave my room, but he doesnât. He insists on sleeping in my bed with me because Soobin gets me every other night, which is not true, but I let him have it anyway.â
âYou need to put your foot down. Heâs crazy,â Chaewon says.
âThereâs more,â you respond. âAlso, that night, he told me that Soobin apparently said weâre together or something at the bar? Is that true?â
Chaewon scrunches up her face. âNo? I donât think he said that.â
You groan, âBeomgyu is literally driving himself crazy. Anyway, the next day I literally start hating myself so bad because I wake up and have to see Soobin immediatelyââChaewon gaspsââYeah. And the whole time Iâm thinking, do I tell him? Should he know? And, oh my God, Beomgyu would not stop blowing up my phone during our date.â
âI would have to fight him, thatâs so annoying,â Chaewon comments.
âIt was! He didnât even need anything either, he just wanted my attention. I didnât end up telling Soobin anything cause I was scared. When I got home, Beomgyu and I ate and he was like I hope this is better than what you did with Soobin.â
âGirl, beat his ass,â Chaewon says.
âStop,â you laugh, pushing her shoulder. âWe argue again, and then I ask you to come over. Then you know what happens when youâre there. When you leave, though, the demons get to me again and I get even freakier with Beomgyu.â
Chaewon looks at you in horror and shock.
âYeah. So when it ends, I tell him that this wonât happen again. He gets all sad and cries again, and says all this heartbreaking, confusing shit. So no matter what I do, I feel like Iâm hurting someone.â
âCan I be honest? Heâs one hundred percent manipulating you,â she says. You flinch a bit at that. Manipulating you? Thatâs a little far.
âI wouldnât say that,â you refute. âHe just ignores all our friendshipâs boundaries.â Beomgyu has touched you in ways that friends shouldnât. Heâs declared things to you that friends shouldnât. Heâs begged to you and drove himself to tears, heâs gotten in his head with insecurities about you, heâs done too many things that a friend would never do that you just canât ignore.
Chaewon places her hand over your own. Thatâs how you know sheâs about to get serious. You like talking about this with her because she can be fun, but she can also be mature about things and give good advice. Plus, at least with her, you donât have to worry about not being heard.
âListen,â she starts. âHe cries to you because he knows youâll give in. He brings up his devotion to you because it makes you feel like you owe him. Itâs not about professing his emotions, itâs about doing whatever it takes to keep you closest to him.â
Your brain is struggling to fit all the pieces together. Itâs not adding up or making sense to you. Maybe to an outside source like Chaewon, it looks a little bad, but you know Beomgyu better than that. You always have been influenced by him. Right now is no different. He doesnât want to control you, you think. He just wants his best friend.
âHeâs not evil, Chaewon, heâs just being annoying,â you say. She sighs and goes quiet for a second. You can tell sheâs carefully formulating her response.
âHeâs being selfish. He canât stand to see you choose another man over him.â That much you know. Heâs admitted to that.
âThen wouldnât I be selfish too? Letting him do things with me while Iâm talking to Soobin,â you ask, looking off to the side. When you say it like that, guilt pours over you. If Beomgyuâs being selfish, then youâve been obscenely greedy. Thatâs not a far cry from the truth, though, and it may even be the actuality of the situation after all. You wonât defend yourself from that claim.
âThe thing is, you wouldnât be doing any of this if Beomgyu wasnât messing with your head,â Chaewon reasons. âWould you have let him touch you if he never cried to you that night?â
You think back to your first intimate moment with Beomgyu. You definitely wanted it. The second time too. You ponder Chaewonâs words. If he never fell to his knees, begging you to stay, what would have happened? If he skipped the tears and the pity party and just took you straight to your room to fuck, would you have been okay with it then?
Probably not, you think. But how relevant is that? You canât separate Beomgyuâs emotions from his actions. He felt like he was losing you, and thatâs why he did everything. Everything that happened after was from the heat of the moment, an act of desperation.
Maybe itâs his utter devotion that turns you on, maybe thatâs what keeps you from denying him. Seeing a man so desperate that heâd shed tears for you, perhaps itâs what makes you lose control. When Beomgyuâs on his knees, looking up at you with painfully honest eyes, promising you that heâll be good, any woman in your position would fold.
What if it wasnât Beomgyu? What if it was Soobin instead? Would you still give in? You try to picture it. You look into Soobinâs eyes and feel his fingers on your thighs. You try to make yourself burn up more, but you donât feel much.
Okay, picture it more, maybe. Heâs got you spread on your mattress, begging you for just one touch. He kisses your stomach, and his tears fall off his cheek and onto your skin. His tongue is warm and wanting, exploring further down your body until he bites down on your waistband. You tense up, needing more. You grab his hair tight. He looks up at you and you almost shriek, horror and humiliation crashing over you. Heâs not Soobin at all. Heâs Beomgyu.
Chaewonâs voice cuts through your thoughts to ask you another question, âDo you feel like you canât leave him?â
âIâd never leave him,â you answer. You didnât even have to think about it. She sighs.
âAt some point, you have to realize that this is going beyond keeping a friend around,â Chaewon says. âHe wonât let you go out with Soobin in peace. He argues with you whenever you mention him. He touches you to get your mind off of him.â
You donât try to refute that. Should you just accept defeat? You could go home and surrender to Beomgyu. You could promise to never look at Soobin again, and heâd finally get what he wants without a fight. Youâd live the rest of your life not knowing whether youâve got the love of your life standing right beside you or waiting out in the world somewhere.
âHeâs giving you no choice. Heâs doing it on purpose.â Chaewon picks up your hands, lacing them with her own. âYou have to start standing your ground with him. No more letting him control your life.â Her hands give a firm, reassuring squeeze to yours.
You nod. âYouâre right.â She smiles.
âOkay. Bring it here,â she says, pulling you into a hug. The second your head lands on her shoulder, you start crying. You didnât even know you had to cry. She rubs her hand down your back, letting you use her as an outlet.
âWhat happens if I canât, and nothing changes?â you sob. You feel helpless in your own life. Nothing you do will change what Beomgyu does or erase what you have done.
âThen you leave,â she answers simply. You tense up at the idea. Do you have it in you? Youâre not nearly brave enough. âYou come stay with me for however long you need. I promise.â
âHow will I look at Soobin after this?â You should save everyone a whole lot of trouble and just call things off with him. The thought makes you feel sick, though. You donât want to leave Soobin. You have a real connection with him. Beomgyuâs just getting in the way of it, fogging up your mind at every chance he gets.
Chaewon pulls you out of her embrace so she can look you in the eye. Her hands stay on your shoulders, firm and reassuring. âStop beating yourself up. You made a mistake, but youâre not the biggest one at blame here.â
You wish that was true. You blame your lack of spine, your inability to keep your conscience clear, and your willingness to lie to save face. You look down at your lap in shame. If Beomgyuâs an asshole, then youâre perfect for him. Youâre not as good as youâd like to think.
Chaewon calls your name to bring your attention back to her. âSoobin isnât even your boyfriend. You didnât do anything wrong.â Well, thatâs true. You sniffle.
âWonât he hate me now?â you ask.
âHe has no right. As long as thereâs no label, you two arenât exclusive. Sure, things are a lot more complicated now, but youâre not a bad person for anything you did,â she says. You nod slowly. Her words help you so much. You would have gone crazy without her.
Maybe you should take her advice: leave Beomgyu and stay with her, at least until you can make up your mind. You canât do that to him, though. Heâd fall apart. It would honestly be hard for you, too.
âThanks, Chaewon,â you say. You flop down onto the bed, letting your body sink into her mattress. âIâm so exhausted after that.â
âA good cry will do that to you,â Chaewon laughs. She lays down beside you and rests her arm over your waist. You pull yourself closer to her until youâre laying on her chest. You throw a leg over her, getting comfortable.
âLetâs order pizza,â you suggest.
âYesss, and watch more of my show,â Chaewon adds. She picks up her phone and searches for a good pizza place that can deliver to her. As she does that, your phone screen lights up to signal that Beomgyuâs calling you.
âOh my God,â you say, holding your phone up for Chaewon to see.
Chaewon smirks and shakes her head. âWe summoned him.â
You sit up as you answer the call. âHi Gyu, whatâs up?â
âNot much, just wondering if youâre gonna be here for dinner?â he answers.
âNo, Iâm getting pizza.â Beomgyu hums on the other end, and itâs quiet for a few seconds.
âAre you with Soobin right now?â he asks. Youâre displeased but unsurprised at his question.
âIâm with Chaewon,â you say flatly. Chaewon leans closer to you and points at your phone.
âLet me talk to him,â she whispers, fury in her eyes. You shake your head. You absolutely cannot let that fight happen.
âOh. Are you sleeping over there?â Beomgyu asks. Chaewon nods with wide eyes, like youâd be crazy if you said no.
âI might, yeah,â you answer.
âAlright. Tell her I said hi. Will I see you tomorrow?â
âYeah, Iâll be back after work.â
âYay, have fun with Chaewon then! Bye~â he sings.
âSee you.â You hang up and turn to Chaewon. âDid you order the pizza?â
âItâs on its way,â she confirms with a grin.
You take a deep breath before you enter your apartment. Youâre nervous to face Beomgyu again. Not knowing how heâs going to act is worrying you, because you donât know if youâre going to walk in and get a normal night with your best friend, or more confusing confessions that toe the line between friendliness and something greater.
You donât see him when you come in, so you wonder if heâs working. That would make your night less stressful. That proves to be wishful thinking, though, when shut the fridge after grabbing a drink and see Beomgyu walking into the kitchen. He greets you with a sweet call of your name.
You smile at him, but it doesnât meet your eyes. After your conversation with Chaewon yesterday, the only thing thatâs been lingering on your mind is how to finally put your foot down. Do you wait for him to try something to have that conversation? Heâs going to be offended no matter when you say it, so maybe you should just get it over with. You donât know.
âHow was work?â he asks.
You shrug. âIt was kind of a long day.â Not for any work related reasons, but you donât tell him that part. Standing in the kitchen with him feels awkward now, even though it never used to before. You just canât stop thinking about him in unfriendly ways, be it from his kiss or from his confessions.
You realize that these thoughts will only pester you worse and worse the longer you ignore the topic with Beomgyu. Heâs talking about what he did at work today, but youâre barely listening. Your eyes linger on his lips as he speaks. You follow the movement of his hands as he rambles, thinking about how those slender fingers felt inside of you.
God, stop! This is why you should have never done anything with him. At this rate, youâll never be able to have a normal conversation with him again. Your heart starts beating faster. You need to let him know that you need space. Fuck, why did you let it get this far? His sad eyes flicker in the back of your mind already.
Beomgyu moves to the couch, probably expecting you to follow him and turn on the television. Your feet stay planted where they are, watching him with careful eyes. He looks back at you when he realizes you didnât trail behind him, staring at you expectantly.
You force yourself to move, walking slowly into the room with him. You sit on the couch, leaving a considerable amount of space between the two of you.
Nowâs the time. Speak up, you have to. Donât worry about his feelings. Think about Soobin. Do this for himâbetter yet, do this for yourself. Prove that you have it in you.
âBeomgyu,â you say. He furrows his brows, seeming confused at your serious tone. âWe canât do this anymore. Iâm serious.â You steady your breathing as you look him straight in the eye.
âWhat do you mean?â heâs quick to ask. You know heâs not dumb enough to not understand what you meant. He grabs your hand to hold it, and you let him have it for a few seconds before you pull away.
âI mean, no more playing with each other. No touching, or kissing, or anything we wouldnât normally do.â Youâre anxious as hell, but you feel strong for once, and itâs nerve-wracking yet empowering. Youâre setting your boundaries. No more reckless decisions that leave you regretting everything the next day.
Beomgyu rolls his eyes. âWhy, cause Soobin said so?â
âNo, because I said so,â you correct. He tilts his head as a frown starts to form on his face. You remind yourself that you canât let him win. You remind yourself of everything that Chaewon said. Beomgyu will do anything he can to win, and you canât let that happen.
Heâs quiet for a moment, unnerving you. You know that heâs coming up with his pleas now. You have to cut him off before he can get anything out.
âYouâre my best friend. I donât want to lose you because of some dumb decision we made,â you say, hoping heâll understand, but the sadness in his eyes only grows at that. He drops his head onto your shoulder and hugs you. Oh lord. You hug him back with a heavy exhale.
âWhat am I supposed to do? Watch you be happy with someone thatâs not me?â he murmurs into your neck. You lean out of the hug so that you can look him in the eye. He needs to know youâre not breaking this time.
âYes. Itâs either that or we argue like we have been everyday.â Itâs about time that he stops sulking at every mention of Soobin.
âThen Iâll take the arguments. Iâll take you yelling at me and hitting me, I donât care. I just canât take you being with him,â he says.
âIâd never do that,â you refute, sick at the idea of hurting him. âYou have to listen to me. Let me see this out with Soobin. I want to at least give him a chance without you intervening.â
He sighs with a heavy heart. Is he going to let you win? That easy?
âDid Chaewon tell you to do this?â he asks. You drop your jaw in shock. Heâs got some nerve asking that.
âThat doesnât matter, the only thing that does is that I told you we have to stop, and you need to listen.â You canât believe heâs bringing Chaewon into this. Heâs out of his mind if he thinks youâre going to let him blame her.
Beomgyu deflates into the couch and looks down at the floor. You ignore how your heart clenches. You canât comfort him, that would be his window for turning this situation around. He has to know you mean this, so you walk away, going to your room and shutting the door.
You lean your back against the door and zone out, staring at the wall. Donât think about how Beomgyu feels. Donât think about how you might have ruined your friendship.
What do you do now? Will he want to talk to you anymore? Maybe you should have let him plead his case a little. Heâs insecure, he canât help it. You slide down the door until youâre sitting down.
You have to stop making excuses for him. Heâs an adult, itâs time he acts like it. Chaewonâs right, you canât keep giving him what he wants, and putting your foot down and hurting his feelings was the only way he was going to learn.
Thatâs what youâve been doing, you suppose, but this time you mean it, and you hope he knows it. Youâre going to have to put in more effort into resisting the urge to comfort him. If he keeps making things hard for you, youâll have to start ignoring and avoiding him. The thought scares you.
You donât want to think about this anymore. You wish you didnât have to do this, but you had no choice. Your thoughts about him were driving you crazy, and you had to put a stop to it before they could get even worse. Not to mention how guilty youâd feel hanging out with Soobin if you continued letting Beomgyu have his way with you.
You open your phone and go to your chat with Soobin and type a quick message.
Hey
You just want to reassure yourself that you made the right choice. Hurting Beomgyuâs feelings canât be for naught. You donât expect Soobin to respond so fast, but he does.
[Soobin] Wow I was just thinking about you lol
[Soobin] Hi
Your heart skips a beat as you read his texts. He thinks about you?
Oh really? About what?
[Soobin] I wanted to see you again
You bite your lip and a smile grows on your face. See? Wasnât this worth making Beomgyu a little sad? Wasnât it a fair trade off? Heâll be okay, surely. And eventually, you might even stop feeling guilty for doing it, too.
You deserve to be able to talk with Soobin without your conscience barking at you. This is what had to happen. Youâll feel better about this when everything all works out in the end.
How about tomorrow?
[Soobin] Iâd love that
Yayyyy
Finally something not shitty about my day
[Soobin] What happened?
You groan. Where do you even start?
Argument with my friend
[Soobin] Beomgyu?
YepâŠ
[Soobin] Well Iâm glad I could make you happy for a minute then :)
You find yourself giggling at his message.
Youâre cute
[Soobin] Thank you
[Soobin] You too
You almost squeal when you read that. Heâs so shy when it comes to flirting, but when he does it, it never fails to give you butterflies. You imagine him blushing as he sent it, feeling a little hesitant to be so bold. What an endearing guy.
Finally, you feel like you can end the night on a decent note. You feel better now that youâve got something to look forward to with Soobin. You donât let yourself think about Beomgyu anymore tonight, not wanting to sink down that rabbit hole.
Iâm gonna go to sleep, thanks for cheering me up hehe
And for everything that you do
Good night
[Soobin] Sleep well
[Soobin] Dream of me
Your heart flutters. Your fingers race across the keyboard.
The air around you and Soobin feels so much lighter now that guilt doesnât have you in its claws. You ended whatever you had going on with Beomgyu, and now you can focus more on Soobin. Your heart holds an open invitation for Soobin to occupy, youâre just waiting for the feelings to further bloom.
Itâs unfortunate how early it gets dark out, but you donât let it ruin your day. You bask in the glow of the streetlights as you and Soobin walk to the park.
âI used to come here all the time with my sister and nephew,â he says. You find a gazebo to sit under. From here, you have a perfect view of the frozen-over lake ahead of you. âWeâd play tag with him, but weâd have to run super slow to give him a fair chance.â
You can see that image clearly in your mind, and it makes you smile at how cute it is. Soobin being such a family man is so charming to you. He has such marriage potential. Youâre getting ahead of yourself, though.
âThis seems like a good place to bring a kid. So much space to play,â you comment, looking out at the park. The grass doesnât look so alive right now, and all the trees are bare, but it must be nice in the summertime. Even now, thereâs something beautiful about it.
âYeah, it makes me think about having kids of my own to run around in these fields.â The idea of a mini Soobin playing here makes you chuckle. Heâd definitely have well-behaved kids. He would be a good dad.
âYou want to stay here when you raise a family?â you ask.
âI think so. Thereâs a lot this place has in store. Iâm a little attached to it,â he laughs. You wonder if youâll think of the city so fondly one day too. Youâve only been here for a little over a year.
âReally? Whatâs the best thing in this city, then?â you ask and smile at him.
He looks at you for a long second, then lets out a little laugh. His cheeks are red when he looks back out at the lake. âI donât knowâŠâ
You giggle, swooning over him yet again. âWhat about your hometown? What was it like there?â
âIt was nice. I lived in a small area. I miss it sometimes, but I donât think Iâd go back. I think I mostly miss being a child,â he answers.
âI can relate to that,â you say. âLifeâs harder now.â You think about the past week in particular and all the chaos with Beomgyu. Teenage you would never have imagined getting tangled up in something like this, especially not involving him.
âThings like this are good, though,â Soobin adds, smiling at you. âThings with you.â Your face heats up. Heâs getting so flirty and brave.
âSame for me,â you say. âItâs good with you.â You spend a few quiet seconds admiring his face, letting the butterflies flutter wildly within you.
âI think itâs been long enough for me to ask this,â Soobin starts. Your body tenses in anticipation. âDo you want to be my girlfriend?â
Oh god. The butterflies halt and replace their happy fluttering with silent dread. All of your effort is going into maintaining a neutral composition. You donât want to let your internal dilemma show. Your heart is going haywire, like itâs trying to beat right out of your chest. You donât blame it for trying to run away; a part of you wishes you could too.
âCan we wait a little longer?â you ask meekly. You fear hurting his feelings, but you simply need more time. This is not how you imagined this moment would go. You wish you could scream yes and jump into his arms, but things have gotten muddy in the past week. You need to sort everything out with Beomgyu first. If this is going to happen, you need to make sure it comes from a place of one hundred percent certainty. You canât be exclusive with Soobin with Beomgyu lingering in the back of your mind.
If Soobinâs trying to mask his disappointment, heâs failing. Your heart drops. Is this where he leaves you? Noâyouâre not ready for that either. If he gets up right now, youâre ready to cling onto his jacket and beg him not to go. You donât know what you just did. You messed up. You shouldâve just said yes.
âIâll wait however long you need,â he ends up saying. He stays right where he is. You sigh in relief and hug him. He lets out a noise of surprise, but is quick to hug you back.
âThank you. Iâm sorry. Things are justâŠâ you trail off as you pull away from him. He brushes your hair out of your face. ââŠConfusing right now.â
âIs there someone else?â he asks.
You gulp. âKind of. Itâs⊠Beomgyu.â
âOh, right. He doesnât like me.â
You frown. âI donât know why.â
âYou really value his opinion,â he notes.
âItâs not only thatâŠâ you say, looking down at your hands fidgeting in your lap. Soobin lifts your head back up with a gentle hand. He smiles when your eyes meet.
âItâs okay, you donât have to explain. Iâm ready whenever you are,â he reassures. He leans in to place a peck on your cheek. You heat up wildly.
âYou should probably know, though,â you urge.
âNo,â he insists. âHonestly, I donât want to know. Iâm just happy I get you to myself every time that I do.â
A weight lifts itself from your shoulders. You feel like you can breathe again. Youâre lucky that Soobin is so understanding, and even luckier that heâs willing to wait for you to figure your own things out. He doesnât owe you that, but youâre endlessly appreciative that he gives it to you anyway.
You lean into Soobinâs side and look out at the scenery in front of you. The two of you fall back into conversation, and you find yourself feeling sad when itâs time to go.
As you hug him goodbye, you feel inclined to just never let go. You feel so comfortable in his embrace. You insist on meeting up again over the weekend, and he puts up no fight in accepting. Gosh, he makes your heart race. Things are finally feeling good again.
notes: yayyyy what do we think?? chapter 2âs already at 7.6k and iâm estimating itâll get up to ~17k-20k, but we shall see. iâm excited to hear ur thoughts, so feel free to leave feedback! đ€
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HELP, i canât find that one beomgyu fanfiction where the readerâs bestfriend opens her packages so she started sending them towards beomgyuâs place. then, a mailman makes a comment and beomgyuâs curiosity makes him open the package and he confronts you. please help âčïž
Can you continue with the Valorant blue trio of Jett, Yoru, and Sage with the reader who has those sick knives??? I'm genuinely curious as to how that would go honestly!
Hello, Iâm going to be honest⊠I genuinely forgot about that fic. It was one of the first ones that I wrote on this app. I could continue it and tag all the people who wanted to be tagged but my writing style would not be the same as before, and the plot would be a little different. Let me know if you still want me to continue it ^^
DREAM RECALL âžâž He pulls away from you with a perplexed expression. Then he laughs, itâs short, cruel, he shakes his head. âDonât be funnyâ, he mutters as he runs a hand through his dark hair. âYou know I have a girlfriend, nerd.â He spits the words out like the venomous bite of a snake. His gaze drops to your unbuttoned blazer, briefly passing the harsh bruises on your chest. â âDonât think youâre anything else besides a quick fuck.â âžâž
wc â 26k
pairings popular/bully!yeonjun x nerd!reader(fem) college au !
warnings heavy bullying, violence, exploitation, cheating, drinking, yeonjun is an asshole for 80% of this, redemption arc, some angsty scenes, hurt-comfort sort of? this fic contains 3/4 descriptive smut scenes which include â oral (both f & m), penetrative sex, vaginal fingering, a handjob, lots of degrading (reader receiving) but also a splash of praise, some tit groping, implied marking, very soft sex at the end (yeonjun cries a little), reader is inexperienced = virginity loss, + yeonjun teaching her how to give a blowjob as always lmk if I missed any!
#serene adds â my god this fic has taken literal years off my life. But I could not have been happier with the outcome of it !! It's a long one, but I've tried to keep it interesting throughout it all for a lighter read. I'm not one to beg for feedback, but I will actually get down on my knees this time around. Please please comment/reblog or even send asks with your thoughts on it, I need it to be perceived in any way possible !! hehe please enjoy because I have slaved to get this done (if anyone notices the Skins reference in one scene, lets kiss)
(I was also slightly delirious when I read this through ahem...) anyway, ready, set go !
You donât exactly know how it started. The cheating, the lying, the sleepless nights, the crying, the heartbreak, Choi Yeonjun. One day he was justâŠthere. You had never met anyone like Yeonjun before yet you knew hundreds of people like him. He was everything, he was the cause of your pain, your tears, your self loathe. â But mostly importantly, Yeonjun was your first love. You would always remember him as that. You suppose it might have started on your first day at that college, back when you were only known as the junior transfer.Â
Your professor clears his throat as he steps up beside you, gazing out across the classroom. âWe have a new student todayâ, he announces what was already painfully obvious and you felt your cheeks redden further. Apart from a few sniggers here and there, silence follows. âWhy donât you introduce yourself?â His direct question made you flinch as you quickly glanced up from the floor, your gaze flitting between your professor and the large ocean of heads turned in your direction.Â
Your introduction was meek, the words getting caught in your throat as you stammered out your name. You could almost hear the smirks plastered on their faces as they drank in your fidgety frame. You jump when you feel your teacher's hand on your shoulder, âyour new classmate is a year younger than you guys, but due to her impressive work ethic she has finished the majority of her classes already. She will therefore be joining us for the time being.â â His words of praise felt more like a set up for humiliation and you watched as students leaned over to whisper in each otherâs ears, grinning at the words being passed around. You could hear the rumors already.Â
âWhy donât you take the seat over there?â Your new professor points to an empty desk by the very back and you breathe out a small sigh of relief, glad to be shielded from the peering eyes of your new classmates. But just as youâre about to step down and make your way toward the safe haven, you lock eyes with him. â Part of his face was shielded by his dark hair but you could clearly make out his brown eyes, staring right back at your own. Heâs quick to catch on to your stare and you watch as his lips stretch into a menacing smirk.Â
Forcing yourself to look away, you grab onto your bag as you quietly make your way past the many rows of desks. An outstretched foot makes you stumble forward and you barely manage to catch yourself. âCarefulâ, one of the girls turns in her seat as she eyes you with a not so friendly smile, âwouldnât want you to fall.â You give her a small nod as you hurriedly continue toward your own desk.
Thankful to have stepped away from the spotlight, you lean back as you let out a small breath. But it wasnât enough. As class went on you continued to catch the multiple glances thrown your way, the small chuckles, the papers being passed around. It all felt too familiar, and your heart slowly sank. â You pushed the feeling away, focusing on what you did best, studying. Class was a nice distraction, but after an hour and a half it came to an end. And as soon as your professor had shut the door behind him, chaos erupted.Â
The scraping of chairs against the stone floor filled the classroom as students turned to get a glimpse of you. It didnât take long for a small half circle to form around you, and you swallowed the lump in your throat.Â
âHow did you do it?âÂ
The first one to speak up was a lanky guy, he leans closer as he studies your uncertain face. Before you could even process the meaning of his question, a girl interrupted him, the same one who had tried to trip you over at the beginning of class. âI bet she slept with them, I mean, she must have.â â Her statement is followed by laughter as people nod in agreement. âBut how did you get them in bed?â Another girl asks as she looks you up and down with distaste, âsurely it wasnât whilst looking like that?â More laughter.Â
Your face might as well have been on fire as you glanced down toward your notes. âWhat if she drugged them?â Another guy chimes in as he points an accusing finger toward you. Hurriedly you shake your head as your lips part in a reply, a reply that immediately gets stuck in your throat as youâre interrupted.Â
âYou guys are being too harsh.â Another voice speaks up, everyone falls silent and soon the crowd parts as the guy you had made eye contact with earlier steps through. Heâs followed by two of his friends and the small group stops by your desk. âItâs obvious you guysâ, he exclaims as he leans down to come eyelevel with you. When this close, his sharp eyes somehow felt like daggers, boring into your soul as his lips curled into a smirk.Â
âSheâs a nerd.â He draws out each syllable like it was his last, his lips stretching wider as he sees your face fall. Small gasps and hums of agreement fill the silent room, as if everyone just instantly agreed with whatever he said. âDonât think of her as anything elseâ, he drawls, straightening his back once more as he stares you down.Â
You soon found out that his name was Choi Yeonjun.Â
âžâž
Your first day had only proven to be a small trial of the school year ahead. Word had quickly spread of the transfer student who took classes with the seniors, and wherever you went, you had eyes on you. â You tried your best to keep to yourself, to focus on your studies. That was how you had made it through your previous schools. But it seemed futile here, because no matter how low of a profile you kept, they always found a reason to pick and pull at you.Â
âWhat the fuck do you think youâre doing nerd?â She yells as she shoves you against the red lockers and you groan in pain. You couldnât remember her name, but you knew that she was a senior too, she sat two rows ahead of you and to the left. â Confused, you look up only to be met with a harsh slap to your face. âDonât play stupid, I know thatâs the last thing you are.â She sneers and your lips part in objection, though no words come out.Â
The girl signals for her friends to block either side of you, shutting off any escape routes as she rolls up her sleeves. âYou think you can just go through my shit like that? That I wouldnât know?â Her statement baffles you and your eyes widen, âwhat?â Another slap to your cheek, âright, come on now. Give it back.âÂ
You frown, âgive what back?â Her friends on either side of you grip onto your arms and you wince as they twist your limbs. She scoffs, âmy lipstick you idiot, I know it was you. Who else would take it? Besides, Iâve seen the way you eye it whenever I put it on.â â While her words were partly true, you did think that her lipstick was really pretty and often found your gaze lingering whenever she picked it up from her bag, you would never stoop to such a level as stealing.Â
âI didn't steal your lipstickâ, you croak out and she lets out a huff of disbelief. She goes off on yet another rant but youâre suddenly distracted as your eyes land on the small group of students walking by.Â
After your first day, Yeonjun hadnât addressed you once. He never picked on you, never engaged in gossip about you, he barely even acknowledged your existence. But you knew that he was behind most of what happened to you, because everyone listened to Choi Yeonjun. If he didnât like what was going on, he would put an end to it, but he never did.Â
You often saw him in the halls, he was always followed by his two friends. On your second day you had learned that the three of them were practically inseparable. â To his left was a tall guy, his frame could easily tower over just about anyone, yet he trailed behind his friends quietly with his head hung low. If it wasnât for the scowl on his face whenever someone dared to glance in his direction, you would have assumed that he was just any other student. His name was Choi Soobin, that much you knew.Â
To his right, was perhaps Soobinâs opposite. He was shorter than his friends, not by much, but it made him stick out. His hair fell in uneven sections across his face and he often brushed it away with his pinky whilst he spoke. Unlike Soobin, Choi Beomgyu talked almost all the time, with the occasional input from Yeonjun. Though few of his words were kindhearted. He often picked on you, his comments were snarky and mean, you only ever caught a break when Yeonjun got fed up.Â
Then there was Choi Yeonjun, walking in the middle, he gazed ahead as Beomgyu blabbered nonsense into his ear, Soobin following slightly behind them. The Choiâs, that was what people called them. Something to do with their names all being Choi, you thought it was kind of corny. Yet you couldnât deny the way your eyes lingered on Yeonjun, just a little longer than the rest.Â
It wasnât like you thought that he was handsome or anything, but he was nice to look atâŠyou supposed. And even though you knew better than to pay him any mind, it was hard to tear your gaze away from him. Only when he passed you, did you feel your heart stutter. For the first time since your first day here, he looked at you, if only for a brief moment. His gaze flickered over your practically torn limbs and a small smirk etched its way to his lips. â You felt your knees go weak under his eyes and swallowed hard.Â
Though his attention soon returned to the girl draped under his arm, the same girl that had tried to trip you over on your first day. You had found out that she was his girlfriend, her name was Mimi. She twirled a strand of her hair as she whispered something in his ear and Yeonjun chuckled. â Their small party continued past you as if nothing was wrong before disappearing down the hallway, leaving you to face the fate before you.Â
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You convinced yourself that it wasnât a crush, that you simply found him appealing. The topic of crushes stopped being a thing after middle school, right? You, a twenty year old, have a crush? The thought was ridiculous. But no matter what lies you forced into your brain, your heart still beat a little faster whenever he was present, your eyes drifted in his direction and there was nothing you could do to stop them. â So what if you did have a small crush on Choi Yeonjun? It wasnât going to harm anyone, it wasnât like you were going to act on it. He had a girlfriend. Whenever you reminded yourself of said fact, a pang of guilt shot through your chest. You know you shouldnât feel guilty, but it was hard not to. Most of all you felt guilty toward yourself â guilty for letting yourself sink to such a level.Â
As October went by, you did your best to stay out of the firing line of your classmates, you kept your head down and did your work. And when there was no work left to do, you spent your time looking at Yeonjun. He really was pretty to look at. â You noted the way he would lean back in his chair, stretching his arms above his head before yawning, his eyes momentarily fluttering closed. Usually, he wasted his classes on his phone, or chatting with Beomgyu, it was unusual for him to be doing any of his coursework. Perhaps he didnât need to, or he simply didnât care to.Â
Occasionally, you would catch your name slipping past Beomgyuâs lips, your gaze immediately snapping down to your book as your heart practically beat out of your chest. But no matter how many times he mentioned you, pointed at you, sneered at you, Yeonjun never even as much as turned his head in your direction, simply shrugging along to whatever his friend was saying.
The only time Yeonjun looked at you was when everyone else did. That one time someone poured milk over you in the cafeteria, or when you got a basketball in your face during gym. Only when the whole school pointed and laughed, only then did he spare you a fragment of his attention. And maybe you did like it, maybe you did want him to look at you.Â
It was kind of pathetic.Â
What was perhaps even more pathetic was that one offer you hadnât been able to pass up. It wasnât like you could say no to your professor either, right? â âI think there are a few students who would benefit from studying together with you.â You blink up at him as you watch your teacher lean back in his chair. This was why he had called you? To be frank you donât know what you had expected when he asked you to stay behind after class, but this was far from it.Â
âStudying with me?â You repeat as you point a confused finger toward yourself. Sure you worked hard, but that was because you had your mind set on doing so. You doubted that your classmates would want to spend even a second wasted in your presence.Â
Your professor sighs as he pinches the bridge of his nose. âYou are a clever girlâ, he nods toward your latest test result on his desk and your gaze follows his movement as you swallow. âNot to mention the fact that you are a whole year ahead of your peers.â He then adds with a small smile and you silently thank him, even though you were certain that he could smell the hesitation radiating off of you. âLook, it is not something you have to decide on todayâ, he begins as he gathers the papers on his desk, âbut students like Mr. Choi could definitely use a hand in their studies.âÂ
Your ears perked up at the brief mention of his name, and it was almost embarrassing how quickly your head jerked in the direction of your teacher. Though you did not dare get too ahead of yourself. Shifting on the spot, you softly clear your throat, âChoiâŠChoi Yeonjun?â Your professor stops to look at you, âwhy, yes, but you do not have to decide today take the weekend to-âÂ
âIâll do it.âÂ
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Youâll do it? What a joke.Â
Your whole weekend was spent pacing back and forth across your room. Teeth gnawing away at your fingernails, your mind wrecked with different scenarios of how that following Monday would play out. What were you honestly thinking, saying yes like that? â With an exasperated groan, you flop down on your bed. Staring at the ceiling, you envision Yeonjun, a furious Yeonjun, or maybe a jeering one, you didnât know which approach he would take. But surely he wouldnât be happy once the news reached him, unless they already had?
Briefly you considered calling in sick that Monday. You had never called in sick before, at least you couldnât remember doing so; recalling the multiple times you had ignored the fever in your body as you marched on to class. Not to mention that time you had the flu and still sat through your three hour long exam. â Were you really considering calling in sick over a mere guy. But it wasnât just a guy, it was Choi Yeonjun.Â
Regardless of the situation, you still went to school on Monday. But as soon as you stepped inside the classroom, you could tell that something was different. It was like the air had shifted. And as you made your way to the back of the room, carefully taking your seat, not a single one of your classmates bothered to pick on you. Instead they all occupied themselves with whatever they had in front of them. It was odd to say the least.Â
In regular fashion, the classroom door swings open during the very last minute as Beomgyu saunters inside. Behind him follows Soobin and Yeonjun, both in the midst of a hushed conversation. You find your gaze instinctively lingering by Yeonjunâs tall frame, fingers twirling your pen mindlessly in your hand. It isnât until you glance up and find his eyes already boring holes into your own, that youâre suddenly ripped from your trance.Â
Yeonjun was looking at you. He was actually looking at you, no, he was glaring at you. The realization was enough to send your heart into a frenzy as you swallowed a gulp. His gaze is unwavering as he approaches his desk, still conversing with his friend, but his eyes remain entirely on you. â Sweat builds on your forehead and you grip your pencil tightly. No matter how hard you tried, you couldnât find yourself to break his gaze. You knew that you were giving him exactly what he wanted by letting his eyes practically tear you apart, so why couldnât you pull away?Â
It isnât until the classroom door opens yet again that he puts out the fire he had momentarily created between the two of you, his eyes shifting toward board as your professor clears his throat, ready to begin todayâs lecture. As his monotone voice fills the room, you breathe out a sigh of relief, glad to be out of his sight.Â
He had to have known by now, the nasty looks he shot you throughout the day were more than telling. For someone who never even paid you as much as a second thought, it was most unusual for Yeonjunâs full attention to be directed toward you. Even during lunch, you could feel his eyes on you as he sat by his usual table. With Mimi on his lap and Beomgyu talking in his ear, his gaze still remained on your slumped figure as you focused on your plate of food.Â
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Your professor had helped set up todayâs session, but after that you would have to schedule them on your own. You were supposed to meet by the library, at 5:15pm that Monday. â You were there by 4:55. It took you about five minutes to pick a suitable table, not too close to the door, not in a corner somewhere, but also not in the center of the room, perhaps you were overthinking it. Deep breath in, deep breath out. Desperately you tried to calm your nerves as your trembling hands brought out your notebook and pencil case.Â
By 5:15 you were ready, actually you had been ready for the past ten minutes. The small library had been vacant even when you arrived, you didnât know if you felt relieved at the fact or not. â By 5:25 you started to think that he might not show up. Out of all possible scenarios fabricated in your way too creative brain, the one of him not even bothering to come hadnât crossed your mind at all. What would you do then? Accept defeat? Tell your professor? Talk to him in class? Neither option seemed too appealing.Â
Itâs 5:32 when the doors creak open. Hesitantly, you lift your gaze as you watch Yeonjunâs eyes wander across the room, finally landing on you. His face morphed into a scowl and you felt your stomach drop. You notice that he hasnât brought any study materials along with him and you bite the inside of your cheek. The short breath he lets go of echoes out into the silent library and then he marches toward you. â You donât have time to think before heâs by your table, the palm of his hand slamming against the wood with such force that your pencils rattle, and you flinch.Â
âDo you think this is some kind of sick joke?â He sounds agitated, his hot breath searing through his gritted teeth as his nostrils flared. Your once tense jaw falls open as your brows draw together in a confused frown. â âI mean, I knew you had a thing for me. But donât you think this is going too far?â He sounds almost hysterical as a grin spreads across his lips.Â
You felt color rushing to your cheeks at his words. Did he know? Could he tell by your small glances? But you thought you were being subtle. Yeonjun seems to be reading your mind as he runs a lazy hand through his hair, âoh come on now nerd, for someone so clever you really are quite oblivious.â
âDid you honestly think I wouldnât notice the way you eye-fucked me every single opportunity you got?â He sneers, tilting his head to the side as he watches you with a cruel look of distaste. Your lips part but no words come out. So you shake your head, you didnât know who you were trying to convince, him or yourself. âIt wasnât like thatâŠâÂ
He scoffs, âno?â Suddenly his face is only inches from yours, and you had to force your gaze not to stray down to his lips as he spoke. âThen what is it?â He murmurs, so close that you could almost taste his words on your tongue. You swallow, hard. What was it? You didnât know, you didnât want to answer, he couldnât make you answer, could he?Â
His grin widens as a low chuckle rumbles in his chest. âNo wayâ, he shakes his head as one of his hands grip the backrest of your chair, easily twisting you to face him fully. His previously cocky expression was replaced with a look of sympathy, his voice now laced with pity.Â
âDonât tell me youâve got a little crush, nerd.â He spits the words out and youâre quick to shake your head, denying his blunt accusations. âI donâtâ, you stammer, leaning back as far as your chair would allow you to. â âYouâre telling me youâre doing this out of goodwill?â He asks as he tilts his head to the side. He hardly seems moved by your denial, but when you quietly nod his smug face turns into a snarl. âDo you think Iâm stupid?âÂ
âWhat? No, no, no thatâs not what I-â You stop yourself before getting another word out, it felt like no matter what you said, you only worsened the already sour situation. Yeonjun exhales, his warm breath slamming against your already hot face. He leans back, taking a seat on the edge of the table as his hands dig into the pockets of his uniform. Confused, you watch him as he silently gets comfortable.Â
âWhat do you want then?â He finally asks and you blink up at him. âMy number? Is that it?â He wonders as he fishes up his phone, unlocking it as he pulls up his contacts. You shake your head and he frowns, âthen what?â â Your lips part and you motion toward the books in front of you, âjustâŠâ
âDonât tell me you want me to fuck you, because that would be pathetic, even for you nerd.âÂ
His statement catches you so off guard that you almost hit your leg on the chair opposite your own. âWhat?â You whisper, unsure of the fact that you had even heard him correct. You knew that there was no such universe in which someone like Choi Yeonjun would ever view you in that way, so it felt almost bizarre to hear those words leave his lips so casually.Â
He sighs as he gets up from the table, leaning down to become eye level with you once more. âI mean, I get that youâre desperate, believe meâ, he lets his gaze drop to your chest for a brief second. âLooking like that, Iâm sure itâs hard to get byâ, he hums, and in that moment, you wished for the ground to swallow you whole.Â
It had been a foolish idea to even consider doing this, even more to say yes. If you had only turned your professorâs offer down, none of this would have happened. Because in all honesty, if this was how Yeonjun looked at you, with such menace and fabricated pity, you think you preferred it when he paid your existence no mind.Â
âBut youâre luckyâ, he murmurs before leaning even closer, his breath mingling with your own. Lucky? What a joke, you thought. â You flinch when you feel the light caress of his fingers on your shoulder as they slowly entangle themselves in your hair. âIâm feeling particularly nice todayâ, he smirks and your eyes involuntarily dart down to his perfectly plump and pink lips. âBesidesâ, he drawls, his hand moving to cup your cheek.Â
âIâve never fucked a nerd before.âÂ
You barely get the chance to second guess his words when Yeonjun presses his lips against yours. Immediately you freeze as your shoulders jerk up and your back curls against the chair. The hand on your cheek moves to your chin as he grabs ahold of your face, forcing his tongue inside your mouth and you let out a small shriek. â He hums against you, his eyes fluttering closed, lips moving on top of your unresponsive ones.Â
A moment later he pulls back. âYou kiss like a virginâ, he states as he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. As soon as the words left his lips, he grins, âbut I bet you are.â â Still too stunned to even speak after his sudden course of action, you merely shake your head as you glance between him and the floor. You werenât a complete virgin, you did have a boyfriend back in high school. Not that the two of you ever went further than kissing though, and even then, his kisses were nothing like Yeonjunâs.Â
Hesitantly you meet his gaze, swallowing down the nerves bubbling in your throat. âCome on now nerdâ, he murmurs as his hands grip onto the armrests of your chair, large arms entrapping you against the old wood. âYouâve done it now havenât you?â â âYou got me here all to yourself, why donât you use it to your advantage hm?â His eyes gleamed with mischief and you knew better than to trust his persuasive ways. Still you found it hard to do anything besides gawk at him, in utter disbelief of what was currently happening.Â
Biting your lip, you let your eyes flit down to his parted lips, focusing a little too long on the sheer layer of saliva that coated them. Yeonjun is quick to pick up on the subtle shift in your focus and he chuckles. You clearly see the way he moves closer, but it still doesnât register that heâs kissing you again until his tongue molds against your own. Despite your initial shock, you try your best to kiss him back this time. You knew that you were probably horrible, but even then, he didnât say anything.
Your breath catches in your throat when his hand envelops one of your breasts, groping it softly. âDonât tell me youâve never had your tits touched?â He drawls, easily noting your uncertain approach. Your silence is almost deafening and the way you squirm when he pinches one of your nipples tells him everything he needs to know. With a small frown he pulls back, just enough for you to see his face. He looks conflicted, tongue prodding against the inside of his cheek as he runs a hand through his hair. âFuck, you really are a virgin arenât you?â He sounds almostâŠserious and you find yourself slowly nodding as you grip the hem of your skirt tightly.Â
Yeonjun sighs and you hear him mutter something under his breath. His gaze snaps back to you and you can see the shift in his eyes once he settles on a decision. âAlrightâ, he states before quickly dropping to his knees. Baffled you follow his direct movement, shrieking as his hands on your knees part your legs. âWeâll start slowâ, he hums as his fingers dance across the exposed skin of your thighs, your weak arms easily giving up when he pushes your skirt up.Â
âNo need to be nervousâ, he reassures you as his fingers hook around the hem of your panties, âIâve done this plenty of times.â With that, he tugs your underwear down, past your knees, letting them pool around your ankles before his attention shifts to your exposed core. Your legs close in an attempt to shield yourself from his invasive stare but Yeonjun only gruffs out a short breath as he breaks your knees apart once more. â When he doesnât say anything you grow worried, clearing your throat awkwardly as you shift on the chair. You had never done anything like this before so you had no idea if his silence was a good or a bad thing.Â
You donât have to ponder for long as his fingers suddenly graze your folds. The touch was unexpected and you jolted forward as you tried to suppress the surprised noise threatening to escape. The smirk stretching across his lips only grows as Yeonjun basks in the way you react to his simple touch, you were far easier than any of the girls heâd been with. â âEver had anyone touch you like this?â He asks, his voice a low murmur as his attention remains on his fingers sliding against your cunt, gathering the slick that formed as he smeared it all over you.Â
Meekly you shake your head, breathing out a small âno.â He seems satisfied with your answer, his ego inflating by the minute as he watches you writher under his small touches. Everything still felt so surreal, there was no way that this was actually happening, was it? Youâre reminded of all the times you had watched him from afar, sneaking shy glances at him during class, before and after school, in the cafeteria, where he sat with his friends andâŠand his girlfriend. The reminder is enough to pull you from whatever euphoric state that transpired within your body as you jerked away from his touch.Â
Yeonjunâs eyes snap to you with a hint of curiosity and you bite the inside of your cheek, drawing in a small breath before daring to speak. âM-Mimi⊠w-what about her?â â He groans, a frustrated groan, and you wonder if you overstepped. âNerd, someone like you, doesnât count as cheating, got it?â He holds your gaze, speaking clearly, as if giving instructions to a toddler. He grins, a menacing grin, âbesides, shouldnât you be happy? Iâm giving you what your perverted little mind has craved since you first stepped foot here.â Sheepishly you nod, heat rushing to your cheeks at the blunt statements he made.Â
Choi Yeonjun was bold, his words were harsh, and a lot of times they hurt. For some reason that made you like him even more.Â
âNow stop asking obvious questionsâ, he grunts as his hands trail along your thighs, pulling you forward on the chair, ignoring the way you squeal when he nuzzles his face between your legs. â It felt far from what it looked like in the movies, or even in porn. Yeonjun's hot breath against your core, his tongue dragging across your folds, it made the hairs on the back of your neck stand and you gasped as he flicked your clit.Â
It was almost impossible to control the way your thighs twitched, squishing either side of his head as you fought to remain composed. A small whine left your lips as he latched on to your sensitive flesh, licking and sucking on it as if it was the only thing he was capable of doing. You barely register the way one of his hands grab onto your trembling ones, guiding them to his hair as he hums against your cunt. âDonât be so awkwardâ, he mutters, his tongue dwelling deep inside of you, eliciting a moan from you as your fingers immediately twist in his dark locks.Â
Never in a million years had you thought that the study session that you had been far too eager to agree to would turn into something like this. And that Choi Yeonjun of all people would be the first one to see such a part of you. â You didnât know if it was such a good thing. But it was impossible to form a single coherent thought with him between your legs, mouth falling open in surprise as his nose bumps up against your clit. He doesnât seem to mind when you push yourself further onto his face, practically grinding your hips on his mouth as small noises of pleasure ripped from deep within your throat. You were thankful that the library had been vacant for hours.Â
âY-Yeonjun!â His name falls from your lips without registering in your brain beforehand and you almost slap a hand over your mouth as realization washes over you. Yeonjun on the other hand, only chuckles, the sound sending vibrations against your sensitive cunt and you whimper as he withdraws his tongue from within you. â A somewhat familiar sensation bubbled in the depths of your stomach. It wasnât like you hadnât had an orgasm before, but the occurrence was rare, you didnât exactly spend much time with yourself like that.Â
His name is pulled from your chest once more and his grip on your thighs tighten. âYou got something to say, nerd?â He wonders without leaning away from you, hot mouth working against your throbbing core as he draws moans and whines from you. âC-close..â you mumble, feeling your cheeks redden at the small statement, and you were suddenly glad that he was unable to see your flustered face.Â
âCum on my face then, bet youâve never done that before.âÂ
The comment was mean, possibly even degrading, but it still made you clench incoherently around nothing as you released against his waiting lips. To your surprise, he doesnât immediately pull away, his face remaining between your legs as he laps up the aftermath of your orgasm, drinking in the taste of you with a small satisfied groan. â And when he does finally tear himself from your sore cunt, you can barely look him in the eyes, ashamed at what had just transpired between the two of you. Yeonjun doesnât seem affected in the slightest, his thumb wiping away the sticky fluids on his chin before popping them in his mouth. The sight should not have made you throb but it did and you bit your lip.Â
Without warning, he suddenly gets up as he dusts off his pants. âW-where are you going?â Youâre unable to stop yourself from asking. He shoots you a glance that says âwell isnât it obvious?â He sighs, frustrated by your blunt obliviousness, âour session is over, isnât it?âÂ
You blink at him, still recovering from your climax as you pull your panties back on. âBut the study-â â âYouâve got what you wanted, havenât you?â He states as he stares down at you, much like he had on your first day, and your words suddenly fall short as you meet his gaze. Shaking his head, a small chuckle escaped his lips, âIâll see you tomorrow, nerd.âÂ
The last thing you hear are the library doors slamming shut before the room is enveloped in a deafening silence once more.  Â
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Everything had returned to normal the following Tuesday. You could barely wrap your head around it. The snarky comments were back, the pestering stares, whatever had roamed the air yesterday seemed to have completely vanished and you were left dumbfounded. â There was only one exceptionally different thing. Choi Yeonjun.
Part of you had hoped that he wouldnât come to class, but that was a foolish thought. You hear him before you see him, or rather, you hear Beomgyuâs obnoxiously loud voice echoing off the hallways as The Choiâs approach. The classroom falls into a hushed murmur as the door swings open and the three of them enter. â You had told yourself that you would avoid him at all costs. That meant not speaking to him, not looking at him, not even glancing in the same direction as him.Â
You found it to be very hard. But the shame over what had happened not even 24 hours prior kept your gaze trained to the pages of your notebook. Not even as he pulled out his chair, making an agonizingly scraping noise that cut through the otherwise quiet room, did your eyes stray from the words in front of you, rereading them over and over as you tried to get your brain to register them. â You lasted approximately two minutes.Â
One small peek his way confirmed your every fear. Leaning back in his chair, Yeonjun paid you no mind as he scrolled through his phone, one of his hands rubbing the back of his neck as he did. He actedâŠjust like he usually did, as if nothing had happened between the two of you. For a moment you had worried that he would tell everyone, that was a shame you wouldnât be able to bear. But perhaps he was trying to spare his own reputation, you could only hope he would keep quiet. Did he regret it? Probably. Why wouldnât he?Â
What was perhaps even worse than his indifferent mannerism toward you was when Mimi greeted him with a kiss. Flinging her arms around his neck, she pulls him close as she practically shoves her tongue down his throat. Beomgyu makes a vile comment before turning to Soobin but besides that, no one else paid them much mind. Except you. The guilt was eating you alive, and you werenât even the one who had cheated. What would happen if she found out, would she break up with him? Surely she would find a way to put the entire blame on you. You did not dare think of how miserably you would be treated if she found out. It couldnât happen. You would have to talk to Yeonjun about it, one way or another.Â
But how?Â
You tried approaching him at lunch, but you only managed one step in his direction before you chickened out. Then you tried again before English, this time you made it halfway before Soobin swooped in right in front of you, his tall frame covering Yeonjun completely from view and you sighed. Your last shot was after gym. As everyone ventured toward the locker rooms you trailed behind, Yeonjun had, too, stayed to talk with your professor but just as you were about to approach, a tap on your shoulder freezes you in place.Â
âThe hell are you staring at, nerd?â Beomgyuâs voice is filled with distaste as he eyes your sweaty figure, his nose turning up in disgust. Stunned, you fumble for words as your eyes dart between him and Yeonjun, just a few paces away. âN-nothing I was justâŠâ â âJust leaving, right?â He cocks an eyebrow at you and you quickly nod. âY-Yeahâ, you squeak out before rushing off. Why did his friends never stray from his side? It made things so difficult.Â
You were always the last one to leave the changing rooms. Hiding away in the bathroom, you waited for the other girls to finish before you dared to venture out and get changed yourself. It had become somewhat of a routine, not that it was particularly comfortable, but as it was your last lesson of the day, you weren't in any rush. â Whilst you get dressed, your mind concludes with a ton of ideas to approach Yeonjun. It would have to be when there was no one else around, before or after school seemed like your best bet. The only remaining problem was his friends, who seemed to be glued to his side.Â
Grabbing your bag, you walk over to the exit as you think of a way to get him alone. But as the door to the locker room closes behind you, it seems your problems have solved themselves for you.Â
âWhat took you so long?âÂ
Yeonjunâs sharp voice startles you and you almost drop the bag in your hands as your head snaps in his direction. Leaning against the wall, his own gym bag swung over his shoulder, Yeonjun studies you with an indifferent expression plastered across his face. Your mouth falls open as you peer down the empty hallway, completely at loss for words. âY-you waited for me?â You splutter as your attention shifts back to him.Â
He purses his lips as he clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth, âyes, but Iâm starting to regret it.â â âDo you always take this long?â His voice is laced with annoyance and you swallow as you shake your head. âI- I mean IâŠI didnât know you were waiting I..âÂ
âWhatever, it doesnât matter.â He waves your meek explanation off as he shifts against the wall. Still confused on why he was even here in the first place, you bite your tongue as you wait for him to speak first. But out of everything he couldâve said to you, you had not expected the next words that were to come out of his mouth.Â
âWhenâs our next study session?â
What? He wanted to have another study session? You had been prepared to confront him about yesterday, to tell him, no beg him, to keep quiet. Yet he was asking for another session? You were sure he could read the bewilderment on your face as his lips drew into a grin. âN-next session?â You gawk out as your mouth repeatedly opens and closes. He rolls his eyes before huffing out a short breath of air, âyes our next session, we never settled on a date.â â Well you didnât think he wanted to, you had planned on telling your professor that the whole ordeal had been unsuccessful but here he was, asking for a redo?Â
Was it a good idea to say yes? Considering how last time had played out, the answer was probably not. â âI- Iâm free whenever.â But you obviously were very bad at listening to your gut instincts. However the smile that spread across his face made it all worth it, you felt your heart speeding up at the endearing sight. âPerfectâ, he chimes, âthen weâll do tomorrow 5:30.â You nod but before you can get another word out he adds, âthird floor, room 291.âÂ
Would you guys not be studying in the library? Despite your slight uneasiness, you nod, âalright.â â âMake sure no one sees you on the way there, and donât be late.â He warns before turning on his heel and walking off. You were left stunned as you leaned against the wall, still gripping your bag tightly in your hands as you tried to process what had just happened.Â
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Wednesday rolls around, the day progresses just like any other would. But something feels different, you feel different. Itâs a different kind of excitement, bubbling in the pits of your stomach. You had barely gotten any sleep last night, which was a warning sign on its own because you always made sure to get 8 hours. But you donât feel tired, not in the slightest. And as the last bell of the day rings, you hurry to the bathroom.Â
You never fussed over your appearance, far too busy with having a book stuck under your nose. But today felt different, sure the two of you were just studying, it didnât mean that you couldnât make an effort if you wanted to look nice, right?Â
The sound of bathroom stalls slamming behind you shifts your attention to a group of girls passing by. They all stop as they watch you apply a clear gloss to your lips, their noses scrunching up in disgust. âWhatâs gotten into that freak?â One of them mutters as she makes a move toward you, only to be stopped by one of her friends. âDonât, you might get contaminatedâ, she sneers and the small group burst out into a fit of giggles. â Holding back a small sigh, you ignore them as you wait for them to leave before daring to do the same.Â
Your shoes echo off the now almost empty hallways, it was late enough to where few students lingered behind. Still unfamiliar with the building, you made your way to the third floor. You took no classes here and you had to rely on the numbered doors in order to find 291. It takes a while but soon youâre standing in front of it.Â
Your hands tremble as you hurriedly glance down the hallway, making sure no one saw you. When your gaze returns to the door you realize that it was a lot smaller than the others, its red paint standing out amongst the otherwise beige ones. That was odd. Yet you push any concerns aside as you reach out to twist the handle.Â
Upon stepping inside you quickly realize that this was not a classroom. The room was small, crowded shelves pushed up against all walls, displaying a large range of items, from old books to tools such as screwdrivers and wrenches. Your eyes scan across the multitude of contents as your mind tries to piece together the scene before you.Â
âYouâre awfully punctualâ, Yeonjun drawls as he emerges from a shadowed corner. You jump as you turn to him with a confused frown, âwhatâs this?â â He grins, his hands digging deep into his pockets as he leans against one of the shelves, âthis is where our study sessions will be taking place from now onâ, he explains as he motions for you to have a look around. From now on? But there was hardly room to study here, was there?Â
Quickly noting your perplexed expression, Yeonjunâs grin widens. âWell come on now, nerd. You didnât actually think I was planning on sitting down and doing algebra with you?â Your frown deepens, lips parting as your eyes dart between him and the cramped space. âBut whatâŠthen why are we here?â You ask as you readjust the rather heavy bag on your shoulder. â He chuckles, shaking his head as he takes a step forward, that single step is enough to get him right in front of you, his chest dangerously close to yours. His hand slides up your arm, reaching your shoulder as he hooks two fingers under the strap holding your bag. âUse that clever little brain of yours for something other than your studies, and maybe you will start to see the bigger picture.âÂ
Your bag hits the floor with a thud as Yeonjunâs hand returns to your shoulder, fingers twiddling the collar of your blouse as he waits for the wheels in your head to finally turn. And when they do, you glance up at him, your eyes wide with realization. âYeonjun I⊠I donât knowâŠâ Your eyes flit toward the door, mind altering between your options, stay or go, stay or go, stay orâÂ
âTell me now.âÂ
His voice is calm and his posture remains stoic as he peers down at you. âIâm not about to waste my time on a loser like you if youâre not even into it.â He sneers as his hand lets go of your collar, pushing you back, only slightly, but enough for you to hit the shelf behind you. Was he seriously asking for your opinion right now, for your consent? Choi Yeonjun was willing to spend time on you, with you. The news were hard to melt and you found yourself awkwardly gazing up at him as your mind fumbled for an answer.Â
âWhatâs it going to be, nerd?â He tskâs before leaning forward, one of his hands resting on the shelf next to your face as he cages you against it. Briefly you considered turning back, walking away, to return to your otherwise dull life as you watched him from afar. You remembered Mimi, his girlfriend, the guilt and shame, suddenly it came crashing down all over again. But you also remembered his words: âsomeone like you, doesnât count as cheatingâ. Had he really meant that? If not, why else would he be here right now?Â
In the end, you nod. âO-Okayâ, your voice comes out as a small peep and you curse yourself for not controlling it better. The smug smirk that immediately crawled onto his face should have been a waving warning flag, yet you ignore it, too caught up in the way his eyes darted to your lips, eyeing the clear coat of gloss youâd previously applied. His thumb swipes across the sticky substance. âI was about to tell you not to disappoint meâ, he murmurs before pulling your lip down, âbut I can already tell that you wonât.âÂ
Your heart swelled at the small praise, and you leaned into his touch. You hear him scoff at your blunt advances, his lips twitching as he eyes your eager figure. âYou virgins really are gullible.â â He presses his mouth against yours, making you gasp in surprise as your pupils blow wide. In what you guessed to be an attempt at loosening you up, his hands roam up and down your sides, settling on your waist as he pushes himself closer, grinding his hips against yours.Â
You had no clue of what to focus on, his tongue in your mouth, his hands on your waist, or the way his thigh pushed between your legs, rubbing against your panties in a way that had you practically squealing. â You knew that he was enjoying the reactions he pulled from you, ever so sensitive to his smallest of touches. Itâs not long before his hand is on your thigh, gradually moving along your skin before reaching the hem of your underwear. He pushes the fabric to the side, fingers sliding across your already pathetically wet folds before finding your clit, as if they had done this a hundred times.
The moans you emit are all swallowed by his hungry lips on yours as he lets you grind yourself onto his hand. None of the previous hesitation you had felt during your session in the library was present in your mind, all you could think about was how good he felt, how you didn't want him to stop, and how you wanted more, a lot more.Â
âMore.âÂ
You can feel him smirk against you, your desperate whine ringing out into the hot air. â âYeah?â He muses before pulling back, his lips are coated in your clear gloss, the sight was strangely enticing and you find yourself nibbling on your own lip as you sheepishly nod. He chuckles, pressing his lips against yours whilst he hikes your leg around his waist, the small adjustment bringing you even closer to him, and as you feel the hard bulge through his pants, reality slowly sets in.Â
But you canât stop now, you donât want to. The sound of him undoing his zipper becomes a muffled noise somewhere in the background as your arms wrap around his neck, clinging to him in every way possible. â He breaks the kiss, confused, your eyes flutter open as you try and peer at him in the dim light of the storage room. You briefly catch him tearing a small package open with his teeth and for a moment youâre left completely dumbfounded before realizing that it mustâve been a condom.Â
People wore condoms for one of two reasons, either they were avoiding knocking someone up, or they were afraid of catching diseases. But what disease could you possibly be carrying? So that would mean⊠You donât have time to ponder on the matter further as you feel the tip of his cock against your folds. Immediately your eyes shoot open as your hands grip onto his shoulders. Suddenly everything seemed very real, perhaps a little too real.Â
âTell me if it hurtsâ, he murmurs, his forehead leaning against your own and you meekly nod. Was it supposed to hurt? You draw in a sharp breath as you feel him slowly push inside, the stretch of his fingers had been nothing compared to this and you felt completely unprepared. His movements come to an abrupt halt as he leans back to gauge your reaction with a wary expression. Quickly nodding, you loosen your grip on his shoulders, breathing out a small ââm fine.âÂ
âYeah?â He wonders and you nod once more. Only when heâs fully inside, do you dare let out the breath you had been holding in; feeling your body relax against his. âYou feelinâ okay?â His genuine question catches you off guard and you give a small nod of assurance. âY-Yeah I am..â â He smirks, then he captures your lips in a small kiss, the gesture distracts you from the moment he begins to move, gently rocking his hips into you and you gasp against his mouth.Â
âFuckâ, he grunts. With one hand around your waist and the other maintaining a steady grip on the shelf behind you, he slowly thrusts inside of you. âAre all virgins this tight?â He murmurs, the question was rhetorical and he doesnât give you the chance to answer, âor is it just you nerd?â â âI bet it is.â He sounds menacing but his ragged breathing makes it hard for you to tell if heâd really meant it or not.Â
The items on the shelf rattle as his pace grows quicker, harsher, drawing moans and whimpers from you with every move his hips, cock stretching you wide as you claw against his shoulders. He leans back, enough to where he can watch the way your lips part, your now smudged gloss spread across your cheeks and chin as you whine. His gaze drops to your chest, fingers quickly beginning to work on the buttons that concealed you from him. Flicking them open one by one, Yeonjunâs hand quickly tears your blouse apart, eyes darting to your plump breasts as they bounced in rhythm with his movement.Â
âYouâve got some nice tits for a nerdâ, he muses, his hand groping your chest as his thumb flicks along your covered nipple. Feeling your cheeks redden, you only moan as he draws deeper inside of you, the tip of his cock brushing against parts of you that made you squirm. â Yeonjun made you think of yourself, see yourself, in ways you never had before, and it was exciting.Â
âHas anyone ever told you that, hm?â He sneers, his hand pushing your breasts together as he watches the flesh squish against one another, groaning at the sight. Unable to form a single coherent thought, much less a full sentence, you merely shake your head. âWell you do. You got some of the nicest tits Iâve ever seen.â He grunts, hips snapping against you. The compliment makes you throb around him, your orgasm approaching at a rapid pace and your fairly short nails dig into his shoulders.Â
âP-Pleaseâ, you wail and Yeonjun rolls his eyes, letting out a gruff sigh. âThought you would last longer than this, nerd.â â âBut donât worryâ, he murmurs, leaning in close as his lips trail the shell of your ear, âit comes with practice.â He moves down your neck, prepping your skin in soft kisses before he pulls it between his teeth.Â
You whimper when his thumb rubs at your clit, legs trembling around his waist as your hands move to his hair, fingers threading through his dark locks before securely latching on. It doesnât take much for your high to hit, your cunt clenching down around his cock as it pulls him in further. â Yeonjun curses under his breath as his hips jerk forward before stuttering. In the pure ecstasy of the moment, you roughly pull his face from your neck as you crash your lips against his. You knew that it was messy, sloppy and uncalculated, but you didnât care as long as you got to feel him this close to you.Â
You hear him sigh, you canât tell if heâs content or not. But a moment later he breaks the kiss, gazing at you with a clouded expression as a small grin tugs at his mouth. He bites his lip, eyes dropping to your chest one final time before he pulls out, making you wince at the sudden feel of emptiness. â âNot too bad for a first timerâ, he comments as he rids himself off the condom. You open your mouth to say something but he beats you to it.Â
âSame time Friday, got it?â  Â
âžâž
Your study sessions with Yeonjun became a regular thing, and every instance was just like the former. They would take place after school, in room 291, shielded away from prying eyes as he had his way with you. You were there, at his every beck and call, never once showing up late nor canceling. â It was both thrilling and excruciating. You knew that whatever transpired between the two of you was nothing personal and only temporary. Yet you couldnât help but long for something more; you longed for Yeonjun to like you back.Â
It was probably a selfish thought, a selfish fantasy. But the images of Mimi flashing before your eyes, which had previously filled you with both dread and guilt, were suddenly replaced with a feeling of superiority. Because even if she didnât know it, her boyfriend fucked someone else on the side, her boyfriend was cheating on her, with you. And it felt good. Often you had to hold yourself back from letting said fact slip past your lips. The scenarios would sometimes look something like thisâŠÂ
âWatch where youâre going, nerd.â Mimi spits after purposefully crashing into you in an almost empty hallway that provided more than enough room for two parties to pass. Her friends turn to you with a scowl as they fold their arms across their chests. Your eyes dart between them and their vengeful leader before flitting down the long corridor, down to where The Choiâs were hanging out.Â
Making the mistake of letting your gaze linger, garners her attention as Mimi snaps her fingers in front of your face. âWhat the fuck are you looking at nerd?â She barks as her eyes follow yours. She scoffs, her lips curling into a smirk, âdo you think my boyfriend looks good or something?â Her question rips your attention back as you feverishly shake your head. â Mimi only laughs, her friends quickly joining in as she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear.
âItâs okay, I donât blame you, really.â She tries to appear nice, perhaps even pitiful, but the malicious intent behind her words linger. You shake your head once more, âno I wasnât I..â She holds up a finger to silence you, âcome on now, itâs obvious. Everyone knows you have a thing for him.â She practically giggles as she covers her painted lips with a hand. Your cheeks feel as if they were on fire, your gaze dropping to your shoes as you bite the inside of your cheek.Â
âBut donât worryâ, she leans closer, her breath, which reeked of the strawberry bubblegum she always chewed, fans across your face. âYouâre not exactly his type.âÂ
The statement almost made you scoff. Not his type? Was that what it was? You briefly considered telling her, telling her what her boyfriend was doing behind her back, and with the school nerd at that. The one girl she thought she didnât have to worry about. It was almost a bit comedic. But you held your tongue. No matter how bad you wanted to crush whatever illusion she had going on, you couldnât. Besides, Yeonjun would probably just deny it, and who would believe you?
Speaking of Choi Yeonjun. â He had become almost insufferable outside of your sessions. From barely looking at you in class to bringing attention to you at almost every possible second, Yeonjun was now the sole epitome of the bullying you endured. Whether it was the nasty and mean comments he shared with Beomgyu, his words echoing out through the classroom as he brought the whole class to laughter. Or the multiple times in which heâd trip you over in the hallways, undoubtedly peeking up your skirt as he did, but of course, no one noticed that, and if they did, they didnât fault him.Â
Choi Yeonjun did nothing wrong. He never did. So when he invites you to a party, your very first one, you don't know what to say.Â
âThink about itâ, he huffs as he zips his pants back up. The air in the small storage unit felt hot and stuffy, your clothes sticking to your sweaty body as you pulled your panties on. âI donât know..â you quietly murmur, glancing down toward the dark floor as you twist your hands behind your back. â Yeonjun sighs, running a hand through his hair before he tries again. âWhy not? Donât tell me youâre scared.âÂ
You shake your head. âIâm not. ButâŠI donât know anyone, I donât⊠I canât just show up there.â You argue before swallowing the lump in your throat. It had been an outright baffling proposal on his side. What would people think if you just turned up? â âTell them I invited you, theyâll let you in.â You blink up at him, was he being for real right now?Â
âY-You?â He nods, as if it was a given. âMake sure to wear something half decent at least.â He says, giving your shoulder a pat before he pushes past you and out of the small room, leaving you in the dark once more.Â
âžâž
Something half decent? What was something, half decent? You didnât know, and it took you about an hour to pick out a dress you thought would be suitable. It wasnât particularly short, stopping at your knees, the dark purple complimented your skin nice, you thought. But it felt uncomfortable to walk in, and with one hand wrapped around the fabric, you pull it down as you near the driveway of a large villa.Â
Your eyes flit across the scenery, it was dark out, but the house remained lit despite the late hour. Music was playing, loud enough to where the beat echoed out across the empty street. Swallowing a gulp, you run a hand through your styled hair one final time before daring to step inside.
Immediately youâre greeted by a large number of perplexed eyes, everyone slowly turning to you as you venture further into the villa, reaching the filled kitchen space. âWhatâs she doing here?â âDid someone invite her?â âI canât believe she would actually show up.â â You cringe at their remarks, trying your best to ignore them as your eyes scan for Yeonjun. What if he wasnât here? What if this had all been a ploy to draw you out and humiliate you further. You shouldnât have come here, you really shouldâÂ
âWhat the fuck are you doing here?â
Mimiâs harsh voice snaps you from your small trance as she immediately corners you. Freezing on the spot, your hands curl into fists as you turn to her. Desperate for a way to defend yourself, to explain the situation, or to just escape all together, your mind spirals with excuses. Your lips part but you canât seem to get a single syllable out. âCome on nerd, I asked you a question.â She huffs, growing impatient as she takes a step forward, her chest almost touching yours.Â
âIâmâŠI..â Could you really tell her that her boyfriend invited you? Would she believe you? No, of course not, no one would. You bite the inside of your cheek, eyes flitting across the crowded kitchen. â âDid you come here to make a scene or something? I mean come on, youâre not even a senior.â Her comment makes everyone hum in agreement as they nod, some even sharing a couple of laughs.Â
She was right, and even if she wasnât, it wouldnât matter. You stood no chance against anyone in this room. Tears prickle in the corner of your eyes and for the first time since you came here, you actually felt like crying. Taking in a small breath, you slowly exhale again. âWell IâŠâÂ
âI invited her.âÂ
Your heart practically froze over as Yeonjunâs voice cut through the tense air. Quiet murmurs carry out through the room as everyone redirects their attention. Somewhere in front of you, you can hear Mimi scoff as she takes a small step back. âWhat?â She questions and you finally dare to lift your gaze, your eyes immediately locking with Yeonjunâs as he leans against the kitchen island, seemingly unbothered by the small uproar taking place.Â
Mimi on the other hand seemed to be fuming as she glanced between her boyfriend and you. âWhat do you mean you invited her?â She seethes, her voice laced with hatred and spite. Yeonjun shrugs as he digs his hands into his pockets, an indifferent look on his face. âCome on now, loosen up a little. Itâs our responsibility as her seniors to take good care of her, donât you agree?â He lets his gaze wander across the multiple eyes directed at him, everyone seeming to break under his stare as they quietly nod.Â
He cocks an eyebrow in the direction of his girlfriend, âthen thereâs no problem, hm?â Mimiâs mouth had fallen open as she watched him win everyone over within a matter of seconds. Though quickly regaining her composure as she nods, muttering out a quiet, âwhateverâ, before she pushes past you with such force that you almost lose your balance.
Yeonjun sighs as he moves off the countertop, placing a hand on Beomgyuâs shoulder, âget her something to drink wonât you?â His friend frowns, âwhy me?â But Yeonjun doesnât pay him any further mind as he, too, takes his leave, most likely in search of his raging girlfriend.Â
As soon as he leaves, the previous tension seems to lift as everyone returns to whatever conversation they had been preoccupied with earlier. You breathe out a small sigh as you wrap your arms around you, leaning against the kitchen island as you keep your gaze down. â A drink is shoved in front of you, itâs reddish hue making you frown as you gingerly take it from Beomgyuâs outstretched hand. âT-Thanksâ, you mumble as you grip the plastic cup tightly.Â
Youâre surprised when he doesnât leave, instead he groans as he takes place beside you, resting his hands on the countertop behind him. âYâknow I really donât understand why he invited you of all people.â He begins and you can feel his eyes roam your body with distaste. Swallowing, you quietly nod as you sip on the drink, it wasnât at all as bitter as you had expected it to be, rather it tasted kind of sweet.Â
âIâŠI donât know eitherâ, you shyly mumble, keeping the cup to your lips as you occupy yourself with gazing down at the liquid swirling around. Beomgyu scoffs as he shakes his head, âOf course you donât. No one knows whatâs going on in that thick skull of his.â â His words came outâŠalmost insulting, and you wondered why he chose to speak in such a way about his friend.Â
âYouâve got some guts though, Iâll give you that.â He states, running a hand through his messy hair as his eyes fixate on something in front of him. Surprised at the sudden almost compliment-like statement, you glance up at him in sheer bewilderment. âNot many people in your shoes wouldâve come hereâ, he adds as he gives you a quick one-over. âNo offense yâknow, but you kinda lookâŠâ His nose scrunches up in what you could only guess to be disgust and you bite the inside of your cheek as your gaze drops to your dress.Â
âO-Oh yeahâŠI guess.âÂ
Beomgyu chuckles, âMy, are you gullible.â You internally wince at his words, a small grimace flickering across your face as you take another sip of your drink. You can feel his eyes on you as Beomgyu studies you closely, a little too close. âYâknow, maybe I do understand why he invited youâ, he sniggers, pushing himself off the kitchen island, he leaves without saying another word.Â
Left confused and yet again, alone, you chew on the plastic of your cup as you wonder how long you would have to stay before it would become appropriate to leave.Â
âžâž
You think an hour had passed, it felt like three. Back pressed against the wall of the open-spaced living room, your eyes roam the makeshift dance floor as you watch the way your classmates enjoy their evening together. Your presence had soon become old news and after your first encounter, Mimi had left you alone, and so did everyone else. You were thankful, you supposed. But you still didnât know why Yeonjun had invited you, much less why you had even decided to show up. Because right now, he was nowhere to be seen.Â
You think that you might be able to just sneak out, leave, go home and forget that this evening ever took place. This wasnât for you, that much you could tell. You would face the embarrassment come Monday, but today, now, all you wanted to do was evaporate.Â
Standing up a bit straighter, you tug your dress down once more, preparing to leave. Itâs only then he makes an appearance. Itâs quick, so much so that if it werenât for the subtle tap to your forearm, you wouldâve probably missed him as he passed you by. Your eyes follow Yeonjunâs retreating frame as he aims for the staircase, leading to the second floor. Before climbing the first step, he throws a quick glance over his shoulder, eyes finding yours as he flashes you a small smirk.Â
You gulp as you watch him disappear again. Nervously chewing on your bottom lip, your gaze flits across the room, no one was looking at you. Still you wait another five minutes before aiming for the stairs as well. Each step forward made your legs feel like jelly and you steadied yourself against the railing.Â
The second floor consists of a long hallway, with doors either side of it, reaching down to at least four of them. Your heartbeat picks up at the thought of having to push all of them open as you carefully peeked inside. But your attention is drawn to the third one on the right, slightly ajar as a yellow light seeps through its cracks. Hesitantly you venture forward, coming to a halt in front of it as you debate your next move. Did you knock? Call out for him? Was he even there? Maybe you were seeing things. There was only one way to find out was there?Â
Mustering up whatever courage you have left, you gently push the door open. The room is⊠a bedroom. A small onesize bed, pushed up against the window alongside the empty bedside table, tells you that itâs most likely a guest room. Your eyes flit to the armchair in the corner, widening as they land on Yeonjunâs figure, sprawled out against the cushion, a hand down his pants as he lazily strokes himself. He watches you with a faint smirk, his head leaning back against the backrest, eyes half lidded as they peer over at you.Â
What was going on? You glance back and out into the hallway, afraid that someone, anyone, might walk by. What if Mimi came looking for him? But you were almost certain heâd meant for you to follow him. Quickly you shut the door behind you, locking it for good measure. Yeonjun watches your hurried movements with an amused expression, the hand on his cock unwavering.
âW-Whatâs all this?â You quietly wonder, willing your eyes to look anywhere but him, anywhere but the hand down his trousers. He doesnât say anything, lifting his free hand, his index finger beckons you over and you hesitantly comply. Stopping by the chair, you awkwardly clasp your hands together in front of you as you wait for him to break the stale silence.Â
âYou look nice tonight.â He finally says, his voice seemingly indifferent as he shamelessly lets his gaze roam your body, stopping at the slight cleavage your dress provided. In the dim light casted by only a small lamp on the drawer next to him, you were unsure if he could make out the blush coating your cheeks or not. âThank you..âÂ
He hums, readjusting himself on the soft cushions as his legs spread further apart. It takes everything in you not to let your gaze drop. For a moment everything is quiet, and you wonder why he had even bothered to get you up here in the first place. But then he sighs, the small exhale easily garnering your attention as you shift on the spot.Â
âHave you ever blown someone before?âÂ
He asks the question as if it were any other and you feel the color on your cheeks intensifying. He canât just ask someone something like thatâŠBut then again, there was little Choi Yeonjun couldnât do. Part of you doesnât understand why he even bothered to ask, wasnât it obvious? Another part of you suspects that he wants to hear you admit it, wants to see you get flustered as you shake your head, squeaking out a meek âno, never.âÂ
Thatâs exactly what you do. â He smirks, a wide smirk, exposing his sharp teeth as his free hand grabs onto one of your own. You let him pull you to your knees, the soft carpet beneath your bare skin felt nice but it was hard to focus on anything but the bulge in front of your face, the movement of his hand visible through the material of his pants.Â
âIâll teach youâ, he mumbles, letting go of your hand as he pushes your hair back, gaze wandering across the light makeup you had applied, lingering by the cherry red lipstick on your lips. You slowly nod, hands gripping onto the hem of your dress with such force that youâre surprised it doesnât tear.Â
Without further warning he leans back, swiftly pulling his cock free from his jeans as he continues to stroke it, now only inches from your face. Sure you and Yeonjun had hooked up before, in the darkness of the small storage unit, in places where you never paid his dick much attention apart from when it was inside of you. This was the first time you actually saw it, you think, and this close too.Â
Your jaw goes slack as your eyes trail across the large veins climbing up his shaft, coated in a sheer layer of arousal, seeping through his fingers as they wrapped around the length of it. Gulping, you eye the tip, a bright red hue as droplets of precum spilled from the slit. You would be lying if you said that the sight didnât make your thighs clench together. â Obviously enjoying your stunned response, Yeonjun groans as he gives himself a particularly harsh tug, making your eyes widen further as they flicker from his cock to his face and back again.Â
âCome hereâ, he directs you to scoot forward and you do, offering your hand for him to take as he guides it to wrap around his shaft. He felt hard and heavy in your palm, and you bite your lip as you try to gauge his reaction. Letting his hand drop to his sides, Yeonjun sinks back against the cushion as he peers down at you. âStart slow, donât use too much pressure but donât be afraid to touch me. Iâll tell you when you can speed up.â He instructs as he lets his head fall back, getting comfortable as he pays you little mind.Â
Your attention returns to his cock in your hand, doing as he said, you slowly let your palm glide up and down, fingers quickly becoming coated in the shiny layer of his arousal. You canât tell if he likes it or not, he gives little reaction as he stares up at the ceiling. You want to ask him, you want him to reassure you, but it feels stupid to ask, and you hate feeling stupid.Â
His hand joins in on top of your own, guiding your fingers to his tip, which you had purposefully avoided as you didnât know how to approach it. âFlick your wrist like thisâ, he murmurs, letting your palm glide over the head before returning to stroke him. He only shows you once before his hand moves back to his side. But you can tell that heâs watching you now, eyes tailing your every movement as you repeat what he had just showed you, rolling your hand over his tip, drawing a small huff of air from him.Â
âUse your thumbâ, he breathes, and your gaze flickers to his face in slight confusion before catching on. The next time you twist your wrist over his head, you press the surface of your thumb against the slit. He shudders under you, a small groan passing his lips and your heart speeds up at the small confirmation you just received. It managed to boost your confidence enough to where you gripped him more firmly, experimentally squeezing his cock, just like he had done moments prior, relishing in the way his breath hitched.Â
âYou can go -f-fuck- faster.â He grunts, his hands sliding against the armrests of the chair, fingers digging into the plush cushion. Quickly nodding, youâre happy to oblige, repeating your previous movements but with an increased pace as your eyes dart between his leaking dick and his slightly contorted face.Â
When he first twitches in your hand, youâre taken back. Surprised by the sudden movement yet you felt yourself throb as you tugged at him even harsher, wanting to pull that very same reaction from him once more. â Heâs stopped guiding you, biting down on the inside of his cheek as he tries to muffle whatever noises threaten to escape. You donât mind, in fact it only spurred you on further as you flicked your wrist over his flushed tip once more.Â
His hips buck up against your hand as he lets out a strangled noise. His hand quickly finds its way to your hair, brushing it back as he breathes out through his nose. âFuck, slow downâ, he mutters, tugging at your hair as he forces your face up to meet his, âIâll cum before youâve even blown me at this rate.â The statement made your chest swell with pride, still, your hand slows down as you settle back into a more languid pace.Â
He takes a moment to open his eyes, drawing in a few ragged breaths before he does. The hand in your hair moves to your face, cupping your cheeks as he pulls you closer, the tip of his cock merely inches from your lips and you swallow. âRelaxâ, he says, fingers pulling your mouth open and you let him. âBreathe through your nose, and donât use your teeth.â â You slowly nod, your hands bracing themselves on his thighs as he taps his cock against your parted lips, smearing his arousal all over your cherry lipstick.Â
He pushes inside slowly, you wince at the stretch, your mouth widening as much as it allows. The first thing you note is the salty taste, it isnât particularly strong and youâre relieved. But no matter how hard you tried to relax your jaw, when his cock hit the back of your throat you instinctively pulled back with a small gag. â Yeonjun tskâs above you, the hand on your cheeks gripping you firmer as he pulls you back onto his dick. âThought I told you to relax, no?â He murmurs, letting out a breathy moan as you let him slide himself back into your hot mouth.  Â
Your eyes screw shut as you focus on evening out your breathing, taking steady breaths in and out through your nose as you allow your tense frame to relax under him. âThink of it as the same as what you did with your hand.â His fingers relax against your cheek, thumb grazing your skin as he feels the way his cock slides in and out of your pliant lips. â It feels weird at first, uncomfortable too, but after a while you slowly get used to the feeling of him in your mouth.Â
Hesitantly wrapping your lips around him, you press your tongue flat against him as you carefully bob your head up and down. He groans somewhere above you and your eyes flutter open as you peer up at him through your mascara coated lashes. Yeonjun always looked good, but there was something about him like this, from this view. A sheer layer of sweat that made his dark hair stick to his forehead, his parted lips and furrowed brows, you clenched at the sight, taking him deeper and with much more urgency.Â
Something about tonight feltâŠspecial, perhaps even more intimate than all your past encounters. Maybe it had to do with the change of scenery. The dimly lit bedroom, the plush armchair, the fine carpet, you canât place it, but something is different. And for the first time, you can only think about Yeonjun, not his girlfriend, his friends or even your classmates. It was only him.Â
Remembering how you had pressed your thumb against his slit earlier, you pull back to refocus your attention to only his tip, your hand joining in to stroke the rest of him. You press your tongue flat against his head before swirling it to the best of your abilities, watching intently as Yeonjunâs brows drew further together, a breathy moan ripping from deep within his chest.Â
âF-Fucking hellâ, he groans, his head falling back against the cushion. âFuck âm gonna-â His hips jerk forward, the tip of his cock hitting the back of your throat and you pull back with a small wince, unprepared for when his hot cum spurted into your mouth. Not really knowing which approach to take, you continue to suck him off, cum dribbling down your chin as you fought to swallow the rest without losing your breath once more. Yeonjun slumps back against the armchair, his hand releasing its hold on your cheeks as he lets it fall to his side.Â
Carefully pulling off of him, you sit back as you begin wiping your chin with the back of your hand. You steal a glance at him, his chest heaving as he catches his breath. Yeonjun runs a hand through his hair, shaking his head as a small grin etches its way to his lips. â âWasâŠwas it okay?â Your words are barely above a whisper, and he cocks an eyebrow at you, his grin widening.Â
âSure it was, nerd.âÂ
You blink up at him, âreally?â â He chuckles, tucking himself back into his pants with a small grimace. âWould I have asked you to do it if I had doubts?â He retorts and you bite your lip, no perhaps not you supposed. âYouâll get even better with a bit of practiceâ, he reassures you, giving your head a light pat before getting up.Â
Heâs reached the door before he turns back to you, âwait another fifteen minutes or so before leaving, yeah?â Without waiting to hear your answer, he unlocks the door and steps out, slamming it shut behind him.Â
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You spent another thirty minutes aimlessly wandering around the large villa, astonished by how someone could afford a place this big. You still had no clue whose house this even was, and no one seemed to care for the sake either. â Halfway down a long corridor, filled with what you could only assume to be modern art, you suddenly freeze in your tracks as the voices of someone else joins your quiet footsteps.Â
After spending a rough minute trying to locate the source of the sound, you finally realize that itâs coming from behind one of the larger pillars a few paces ahead. Debating your choices for a solid ten seconds, you opt to try and eavesdrop, if only for a moment. And as you quietly creep forward, their conversation suddenly becomes a lot more clear. â Shuffling to squeeze yourself behind another pillar, you lean against the cool marble as you try and pick up on whatâs being said.Â
You knew the voices belonged to two of the girls from your class, but you were unable to pair them with any faces. â âDid he really?â One of them asks, her voice is slightly high-pitched, almost a bit squeaky. Her friendâs voice is fairly deeper as she replies, âYes! And it was a week before her birthday too!â A small gasp. âYou donât mean⊠But with whom?â The first girl asks.Â
Thereâs a brief pause, and you, too, find yourself holding your breath as you await the second girl's answer. âWith Hera..â You frown, unable to recognize the name but the other girl seemed more than aware as she let out a small shriek, earning a sharp âhush!â from her friend. â âBut thatâsâŠâ the first girl begins only to be interrupted by her friend, âher best friend.âÂ
Their conversation made little sense in your ears, and with a small sigh you turned to walk the other way when suddenly, a familiar name surfaced. â âBut it was kind of obvious was it notâ, the girl with the deeper voice begins, âYeonjun has cheated on Mimi with practically all of her friends. Sheâs bound to find out some day, itâs only a matter of time.âÂ
You felt your face fall as your heart plummeted through your stomach. Had you heard them right? You hoped you hadnât but the first girl quickly butts in as she confirms what you dreaded. âI told her from the start that Yeonjun was promiscuous, but she didnât listen of courseâ, the girl huffs as her friend hums in agreement. âBetter her than meâ, she adds.Â
You had heard enough. That was it, you were going home. Turning on your heel, you quietly dart down the long corridor. â You knew that you didn't have a reason to be upset, hell he had even cheated on his girlfriend with you. It still didnât stop the tears that pricked in your eyes as you pushed past the crowd in the kitchen. A small part of you had thought, perhaps even hoped that maybe, maybe what he saw in you was different from what he saw in Mimi. God youâre so stupid. You quietly mutter, reaching the open living room just in time to see who you had hoped you wouldnât.Â
Near the front door, leaning against the wall, was Yeonjun, arms wrapped around his girlfriendâs frame as she pressed sloppy kisses to his neck. Your mind flashes with the images of what had taken place between the two of you not even an hour ago. Yet here he was, shamelessly buttering his so-called girlfriend up as if he hadnât had you on his cock moments prior. And to think that you had allowed yourself to become part of his crowd, it was disgusting.Â
You finally saw Choi Yeonjun for what he really was. A fucking asshole. And with that clarification in mind, you forcefully push past the pair as you march out of the front door, leaving the still lively party behind as you begin your journey home.Â
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Monday came all too fast. The aftermath of the party is still fresh in your mind as you rummage through your locker. You had spent the whole weekend reanalyzing your every interaction with Yeonjun; from the day you first met to the thirty minutes spent in the guest bedroom just two days ago. You questioned his true intentions, more than twice. But no matter how many hours you tossed and turned in bed, you got no closer to solving the mystery that was Choi Yeonjun.Â
Slamming the red steel door shut, you almost drop the books in your arm as you come face to face with the person you least wanted to see. â Yeonjun leans against the locker next to yours as he studies your face intently. Quickly you turn around to see if anyone was watching the two of you before shifting your attention back to him. âWhat are you doing?â You whisper as you watch him with a wary expression.Â
He only shrugs, a small grin playing on his lips. âSee me after classâ, he nods in the direction of the stairs, leading to the third floor and you internally sigh. Still, you should talk to him, you really should, so you nod. âOkay.â â His grin widens as Yeonjun pushes himself off the locker, continuing down the hallway without another word.Â
You find yourself counting down the hours, lesson after lesson, your eyes remain glued to the clock on the wall. In fact, youâre so focused on the afternoon ahead that the insults thrown your way merely passes over your head. â Then finally, after what feels like an eternity, you find yourself walking up the steps and past the doors as you neared room 291.
He was already there, waiting for you. And as soon as the red door closes behind you, heâs got you pressed up against it, hungry lips on yours within a matter of seconds as his hands roam your body. It was easy to get caught up in his world, his kisses and his touches, you have to remind yourself of why you came here. His name falls from your lips, but itâs not the usual desperate whine, itâs serious, you know that he can tell, humming against your lips yet his hands donât stray away from wandering beneath your shirt.Â
"Yeonjun, wait."Â
He stills, if only for a moment, leaning back slightly as his lips brush against yours. Taking in a deep breath, you prepare yourself for the conversation to come. You had rehearsed it many times in your head, but as you glance up at him in the dim light of the storage unit, you find it hard to even look him in the eyes. âIâŠIâve been thinkingâ, you slowly begin, watching the faint smirk that surfaces on his face. âDonât you always, nerd.â He mutters, his hands resuming their journey up your chest, flicking the buttons to your shirt open as his mouth leaves hot kisses against your neck.Â
You try to ignore the burning sensation sparking through your body, forcing yourself to go through with what you wanted to say. âYes but, Iâve been thinking aboutâŠabout us.â â Your words make his hands around your breasts stutter and he goes quiet against you. Biting your lip, you hold your breath as you wait for him to say something, but he doesnât, only humming against your skin as he continues to litter you in red marks.Â
âWhat makes you think there is an âusâ?âÂ
His question makes your composure fall as you let out a shaky exhale. âThere isn't?" You hesitantly ask, already anticipating the answer you were bound to receive. â He pulls away from you with a perplexed expression. Then he laughs, itâs short, cruel, he shakes his head. âDonât be funnyâ, he mutters as he runs a hand through his dark hair. âYou know that I have a girlfriend, nerd.â He spits the words out like the venomous bite of a snake. His gaze drops to your unbuttoned blazer, briefly passing the harsh bruises heâd previously left on your chest.
âDonât think youâre anything else besides a quick fuck.âÂ
Oh. There it was. He finally said it, he finally confirmed what you had been dreading all along. You werenât stupid, you knew that whatever the two of you had was nothing romantic. But hearing those words come out of his mouth, it hurt more than you ever thought it wouldâve. Still, it was just what you needed. With your palms pressed against his chest, you push him back, as far away from you as the small room allowed.Â
âI donât think I want to be that.âÂ
Your voice is trembling as you speak and you have to force your gaze not to drop down to your shoes. Letting your hands fall back against your sides, you draw in a small breath, holding it as you watch Yeonjunâs face form into a confused frown. âWhat the fuck is that supposed to mean?â He huffs, sounding almost angry as his hands clenched into fists before relaxing again.Â
You bite the inside of your cheek, giving a meek shrug of your shoulders. âI donât want to be just a⊠a quick fuck.â You murmur, unable to maintain his intense gaze, you let your eyes drop to the floor. He scoffs, leaning back against the shelves with such force that the items behind him rattled. âDo you honestly believe that anyone else is even going to consider fucking you, nerd?â He was pissed, that much you could tell.Â
Shaking your head, you blink away the tears that had managed to form in your eyes. âI donât care, I justâŠâ, you exhale, praying that your voice wouldnât break as you continued, âI just donât think this is for me.â â Yeonjun laughs, the same laugh that echoed off the classroom walls as he made fun of you. You realize then just how fucked up your situation had become. How could you have allowed yourself to stoop to such a level?Â
âI gave you so much, and you⊠you donât think that itâs for you?â He jeers, taking a step forward as he comes face to face with you once more. But now none of the previous lust and desire remained, only fury. All you can do is continuously shake your head, not daring to meet his gaze. âNo. Itâs not.â You state as you tear your eyes from the floor, it takes everything in you to not have your resolve crumbling as you peer up at him.Â
âSo letâs stop.âÂ
You motion toward the small unit you were currently standing in. âWhatever this is, was, letâs end it now.â You swallow, hard, the sound ringing in your ears. Yeonjun runs a hand through his hair once more, tongue prodding against the inside of his cheek as his eyes flit between you and the door. âYou want to end things? Fine.â His voice lacks all the anger it previously held, now sounding almost monotone.Â
âBut donât come crying when you realize just how much youâre about to lose.â He drawls, eyes boring into yours one final time before he pushes past you, knocking you back against the wall as he rips the door open. Darkness envelops you as soon as it's slammed shut behind him, and you finally let out the sob you had been holding in.Â
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You didnât go to school that following Tuesday, nor Wednesday. It was the first time you had missed a whole day since your junior year in highschool. Was it pathetic? Probably. Curled up on your bed, you spent the two days in front of your laptop, binging whatever show seemed appealing as you sniffled into a tissue. â You wanted to go back in time, back to when you only knew Yeonjun as the obnoxious leader of bullies from your class, back to when things were simple.Â
You wondered what he mightâve said about you in your absence. What kind of lies he mightâve conducted, surely he wouldnât just sit still. You dreaded returning, but you knew that it was inevitable, and as Thursday rolled around, you pulled yourself from bed.Â
The classroom was empty when you arrived, there was another thirty minutes left but you had chosen to get there earlier to save yourself perhaps at least a few stares as you walked toward your desk. You had missed a lot, you were sure, two days was a long time to be away from school and you worried that you would have a lot of reading to do when you came back home. Though you supposed the distraction of studying would be nice.Â
Itâs about ten minutes left until class when the first few students emerged from the doors, swinging their bags down on their desks as they chatted loudly with one another. âWatch it nerd!â A girl sneers as she gives the leg of your chair a harsh kick, you grip onto the edge of your table as you hang your head low. But beside that, nothing happens, and you frown. You were sure it was going to be worse than this, but it wasnât. For the first time ever you felt relieved that your classmates were treating you indifferent. Well, all except one.Â
Yeonjun doesnât show up to first period. And just as you think heâs about to be absent for the second one as well, the door is pushed open as he walks inside. Yeonjun seldom did what he was supposed to in class, but he always brought his bag, not today though. You tried to not let your eyes linger, inevitably failing as you watched him pull out his chair and sit down, his hands remaining in his pockets as he leaned back to gaze across the board with a lazy expression. In regular fashion, Beomgyu goes off about a random topic next to him as Soobin twirls a pen between his fingers, seemingly bored out of his mind.Â
Class begins, and ends, and nothing happens. Not even as much as a glare in your direction. It was just like before, before the two of you were ever intimate, Yeonjun acted as if you didnât exist, and you watched him. But this time, you didnât feel a sense of longing, honestly, you didnât know what you felt. Relief, a sense of mourning, regret? You didnât like the way your stomach felt when you looked at him, so you stopped.Â
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Weeks went by, the bullying never stopped, why would it? You kept quiet, your gaze downcast as you moved through the hallways. It worked, because you rarely saw him anymore. You didnât know if he was avoiding you or not, you didnât care. It felt nice to not care. The only thing tugging away at you now⊠was the loneliness. It wasnât like Yeonjun acted friendly with you, especially not during school hours, but he had made you feel less alone. In the most fucked up way possible, he was the only one you had ever had some kind of relationship with since your first day here. And a small part of you missed it.Â
But even the loneliness would one day stop.Â
You blink up as a plate is placed opposite yours in the crowded cafeteria. Confused, your eyes darted between the boy before of you and the plenty of empty tables. He doesnât seem to care as he slides down on the chair in front of yours. âYouâre the junior girl who takes classes with the seniors right?â He asks as he tilts his head to the side, studying you with wide and curious eyes. â Still wary of the intentions behind his move to sit with you, you slowly nod, âI am.âÂ
He smiles, it was perhaps one of the first genuine smiles you had received since you started here. Shuffling a bit closer, he offers his hand for you to shake, which you hesitantly do. âIâm Hueningkai, but you can just call me Kai.â He says as you let go of his hand once more. â âIâm a junior too, but Iâm stuck with everyone else our ageâ, he explains with a coy smile.Â
You nod, taking a small sip of your water. His eyes shift to the book placed next to your tray. âLord Of The Rings?â He asks and you hum as you turn it around for him to see. âI love those books!â He exclaims as he brings it to his face, studying the back intently. âIâm re-reading them..â You quietly mumble as your gaze flickers between him and the glass in your hand. Kai sets the book down as he turns to you, âyou mean youâve read all this more than once? Sick!âÂ
That was how you met Kai. You donât know why he approached you, you didnât care to ask. All you knew was that you had finally found a friend. And though the two of you still took separate classes, you always stayed behind to study together, ate lunch just the two of you, and walked each other to class. It felt nice to have someone to talk to, even though you didnât tell him about you and Yeonjun, he still listened to you as you explained all of the bullying.Â
You were amongst the last to return to class after lunch one lousy Tuesday. Kai and you had spent the entire break discussing quantum physics, and you had only realized the time once you went to search something up on your phone, making you rush to class. Not thinking much of the rare occurrence, you make your way over to your desk by the very back of the room, only freezing when one of your classmates addresses you.Â
âWhatâs got you coming in so late, nerd?â He sneers as he leans back in his chair to see you better. With the intention of not replying, you take your seat as you begin rummaging through your stuffed bag. But when another girl butts in, you feel yourself go stiff. âDonât you know?â She drawls, easily garnering the first guyâs attention as well as everyone around her. Even the Choiâs seemed to be listening as Beomgyu put down his phone. You held your breath, anticipating the worst yet it somehow ended up being so far from anything you couldâve ever imagined.Â
âNerdâs got a boyfriend.â She exclaims, watching triumphantly as everyone began whispering amongst each other, hushed murmurs carrying around the room. You felt your face burn as you glanced toward Yeonjunâs table. â He was still scrolling absentmindedly on his phone, but the way his jaw clenched, accompanied with the small frown of his brows, made your stomach sink just slightly.Â
âThatâs such bullshit!â Mimi exclaims as she throws you a harsh glare. But the girl whoâd announced the news merely shakes her head. âIâve seen them myself!â She retorts as she folds her arms across her chest. âThat junior boy, yâknow the blonde one.â â âIâve seen them too!â Someone else chirps in and the girl is quick to nod.Â
âThey always eat lunch together tooâ, the girl turns to you with a wide smirk, âisnât that right nerd?â â Your fingers curled around the pencil in your hand, gripping it with such force that it might break. You donât look at her, gaze dropping to your table as you merely shook your head, earning a scoff from the girl as she turned back to the rest of the class.Â
âShit, are you serious?â Beomgyu wonders as he leans forward in his chair. But before the girl has a chance to reply, Yeonjun cuts her off. âDonât be stupidâ, he mutters as he pulls Beomgyu back by the collar of his shirt. â âWhat the fuck man, itâs just a questionâ, he whines as he rubs his now sore neck. Yeonjun huffs as his gaze remains glued to his phone screen, âof course she isnât serious. Stop believing her bullshit.âÂ
Beomgyu falls silent at his words and so does everyone else. The next few minutes are awkward as everyone scrambles to occupy themselves with whatever they could find, desperately wishing for your professor to walk through the doors.Â
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The sound of the old library doors being pushed open shifts your focus from the book in your lap as you glance up just in time to see Kai approaching your desk. He smiles, waving his hand enthusiastically and you find yourself reciprocating the small move. â âSorry Iâm lateâ, he apologizes as he takes the seat next to yours, pulling a few books from his bag. âItâs fine, reallyâ, you assure him as you place your own book down.Â
It had become routine for the two of you to meet up and study together, well, you often just talked the hours away, but neither of you seemed to mind the lack of work getting done. âWhich chapter are you on?â He wonders, and you slide the book over for the two of you to share, âfifteen.â He nods as he scoots closer, your shoulders practically touching as you take turns reading and scribbling down notes.Â
Usually you didnât mind the close proximity, but when thinking back of what had transpired after lunch earlier that day, you felt different. Ever since your break up with Yeonjun, if break up was even what you could call it, you had little desire to enter into a new relationship. But the more you mulled over your classmateâs words, the more sense it all seemed to make. â Eating lunch together, walking each other to class, even now, you both sat so close that you could hear the pattern of his breathing.Â
But there was still something missing, something that you couldnât quite place. Something that Yeonjun had made you feel by just stepping into the same room as you. You hated yourself for comparing your new friend to someone like him, but it felt almost impossible not to. You didnât care about Choi Yeonjun anymore, so why did he continue to haunt the subconscious parts of your mind?Â
As if on cue, Kai turns around in his seat, his nose almost grazing your own due to how close you sat. âHey are you following along?â He wonders, seemingly concerned as a small frown tugs at his brows. Blinking, you shake your head, âsorry no..â â You swallow, willing yourself to be honest with him, you need to be.
âCan IâŠcan I tell you something?â You hesitantly ask, gnawing on your bottom lip as you twirl your pencil anxiously between your fingers. He nods, a small smile painting his lips, âof course!â â Awkwardly clearing your throat, you think of a way to begin the whole thing. âW-Well basicallyâŠEveryone in my class they-âÂ
Your words get stuck in your throat, not because you were afraid of uttering them, not because Kai made you in any way feel uneasy. But because the oak doors to the library opened once more, the sound almost deafening to your ears, eyes becoming glued to Yeonjunâs frame as he enters. It doesnât take him long to spot you, his already spiteful expression seemingly worsening as his gaze locks with yours.Â
He grasps a book tightly in one hand, walking over to the front desk as he practically slams it on the table, making everyone inside the room jump as their heads turn in his direction. Yeonjun however, pays them little mind, his eyes never straying from yours as the old librarian goes to check out his book. â Even Kaiâs attention had shifted toward your classmate, watching as Yeonjun leaned against the desk with a scowl on his face.Â
âIsnât he in your class?â He wonders as the frown on his face deepens. You nod, âignore himâ, you mumble as you shift uncomfortably under his intense gaze. âBut heâs looking at you..â Kai states and you shake your head again, âplease letâs just ignore him.â â Finally, Kai tears his gaze from him as he gives you a small nod, âof course. So whatâd you want to tell me?âÂ
Oh right. âWell I⊠Itâs a bit weird, promise you wonât be freaked out.â You begin as you bite your lip, feeling an evident blush rise on your cheeks. Kai nods as he takes your hand, the small action somehow making the whole thing even worse but you couldnât find it in you to push him off. From the corner of your eye, you can make out Yeonjunâs figure as he watches the two of you, his mere presence made the hairs on the back of your neck stand.Â
âMy classmates theyâŠthey sort of think weâreâŠwell they think weâre dating..â You quietly mumble, the last part becoming nothing more but a faint whisper. You can easily read his surprise as Kaiâs eyes widen, his gaze flitting down to his hand on top of yours as he swallows. âOh.â Is all he says. â âI hope it doesnât make things weird between usâ, you quickly add, your voice near pleading as you search his gaze.Â
Biting the inside of his cheek, Kai slowly nods as he keeps his eyes on your hands. âNo I suppose it doesnât⊠I mean, itâs not like itâs true..â He says, offering you a small smile as his gaze returns to your face. You nod, ây-yeah, exactly..â â Daring to steal a glance in the direction of Yeonjun, you barely manage to catch his retreating figure as he exits the library, oak doors slamming shut behind him.Â
Kai follows your gaze, his hand on top of yours moving back to rest on his lap as his eyes flicker between the spot where Yeonjun just vanished and your almost longing expression. He sighs.Â
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Itâs nearing 6pm when you finally part ways outside the library. And after waving Kai off, you turn to walk up the flight of stairs leading to your locker. The hallways are vacant, your low heel shoes clacking against its floors as you readjust your heavy bag on your shoulder. â Your footsteps come to an abrupt halt about halfway down the long corridor, your eyes spotting a tall figure, leaning against the red lockers by the end of the hall. You swallow, easily recognizing his lean frame. Itâs too late to turn back, you know that heâs heard you already.Â
âHave you been waiting here all along?â You wonder, stopping a few paces from him, maintaining a good distance as you shift your weight over to one leg. Yeonjunâs head, previously leaning against the red steel behind him, lazily turns in your direction as he studies you with a tired expression. âNo.â â You knew it was a lie.Â
âThen why are you here?â For once, itâs your gaze boring into his, and not the other way around. Yeonjun remains silent, his hands digging deep into the pockets of his pants, his eyes roaming your body just like they had so many times before. He doesnât say anything. You wait for him to speak, you wait for two whole minutes. Nothing.Â
With a small huff, you give up as you approach your locker. Now only inches from him, you type your code in as the red door clicks open. Pulling your books from your bag, he watches you as you place them neatly inside the small space. You bite your tongue, refraining from saying the many things on your mind. It would only complicate the situation further. â Itâs not until you close the locker again, turning around as you get ready to leave, that he finally breaks the silence.Â
âIs it true?âÂ
You freeze, slowly turning back to face him with a small frown. Still leaning against the lockers, he tilts his head to the side, his expression holds no amusement, not even anger, justâŠemptiness. You had never seen him like that before. â âWhat?â The surprise is evident in your voice, and you watch as he pushes himself off the lockers, moving to face you completely. âYou and him, is it true?â He repeats his question and your breath gets stuck in your throat at the mention of Kai.Â
You didnât want him to become the next affection of Yeonjunâs harsh bullying. More than anything, you wanted to maintain the only friendship you had, you could not have your past mistakes getting in the way of it. â âDoes it matter?â Your stance remains guarded as you fold your arms across your chest. He cocks an eyebrow in your direction, his lip twitching, âof course not.âÂ
Confused, you frown, you had forgotten how near impossible he was to read. âWell then there you have your answer.â You firmly state. He shakes his head, and you couldâve sworn you caught the small grin on his face before it vanished again. âSo then it is true..â â âYes.â The small word of confirmation slips from your lips without you even realizing it. But it was too late to take it back now. Yeonjun frowns, he seems almost surprised at your immediate response.  Â
âItâs true that we hang out everyday. Itâs true that he makes me smile, and laugh. Itâs true that he cares for me and I for him. All of it is true, is that what you wanted to hear?â Youâre almost out of breath by the end of your small rant. â Yeonjunâs jaw clenches, hands curling into fists inside his pockets as he draws in a sharp breath through his nose.Â
âSo does it really matter if itâs true or not when he treats me in a way that makes me feel loved and appreciated?â Youâre unable to hinder yourself from letting out all the emotions that you had kept pent up during the past weeks. And by the end, your voice sounds as if itâs about to break at any moment. â But he doesnât say anything. His expression remained as indifferent as possible, watching the way your chest heaved as you caught your breath again.Â
His silence felt heavier than a thousand words. Part of you wants to swallow your statement again, another part is relieved to finally have gotten it out. You quickly realized that you probably wouldnât get another response from him, and thus you made your second move to leave. Except this time, he acts faster.Â
Fingers wrapping around your wrist, Yeonjun prevents you from taking another step away from him. His grip is tight, but not enough to hurt, you can feel the slight tremble to his hand and your gaze dart between his hold on you to his now determined expression.Â
âI could too.âÂ
His voice is low, yet the sentence echoes off the empty hallway walls. Your heart thumps loudly in your chest, blood rushing beneath your skin as your wide eyes meet his. â âI could make you feel like that too.â His voice is clearer now, steadier, and he takes a step forward. You find yourself shaking your head, making him frown. âWhy, donât you believe me?âÂ
The question made you scoff. âOf course I donât.â You exclaim as you withdraw your arm from his grip, he lets you, briefly glancing down to his now empty hand before letting it fall to his side. âYouâve said it yourself. Iâm nothing besides a quick fuck, right?â â He bites the inside of his cheek, your words undoubtedly true.Â
Maybe three weeks ago, his small statement wouldâve been able to sway you, to make your heart beat a little faster. Now it only felt like he was rubbing salt onto your barely healed wounds. Just as you had gotten over him, just as you had finally made a real friend, he had to go and ruin it all again by saying exactly what you both dreaded and longed to hear from him. And you hated him for it. You hated Choi Yeonjun.Â
Tears stung in your eyes, threatening to spill down your cheeks. You couldnât let him see you cry. â He grabs onto you a second time as you turn to leave, pulling you flush against his chest with such haste that you barely have time to register whatâs happening before his lips are on yours. âDonât goâ, he breathes into your mouth, kissing you with such urgency that you thought he might just be on the verge of dying.Â
Your hands are on his chest within seconds as you pry him off. âStop. Just stop.â Your pleading voice cuts like knives through the air and he pulls back with a stunned expression. Shaking your head, you tear yourself from him as you take a step back. âI donât know whatâs gotten into you. But it better stop.â He opens his mouth to say something but you beat him to it. âDonât let me get my hopes up only to crush them again.âÂ
Refusing to hear him out any longer, you quickly turn on your heel as you hurriedly walk down the hallway, leaving him behind as he runs a hand through his dark hair.Â
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The next day, Yeonjun doesnât show up to school. Youâre just as confused as everyone else, your eyes darting toward the door every other second, thinking that it might be him, but it never is. â âIs he sick?â Someone asks but Beomgyu only shakes his head, leaning back in his chair with a small huff, âbeats me.â Ah, so he didnât know either. Gnawing on your bottom lip, youâre suddenly filled with worry, was it because of what happened yesterday? Was he actually hurt by it? No, surely not, it was Choi Yeonjun after all.Â
Itâs not until the doors bursts open once more, revealing a disheveled Mimi, that realization slowly starts to set in. Her usually put together face is in ruins as makeup has been smeared across her cheeks. Heads turn in her direction as one of her friends guides her over to her desk. â âWhat happened?â A guy asks only to be hushed by her friend, quietly mouthing out the words: âhe broke up with her.âÂ
Everyone seems to fall silent after that, allowing Mimiâs quiet sobs to fill the room as you wait for class to start. â He broke up with her⊠You blink, glancing down to the empty page in your notebook as you swallow. Did that also have anything to do with what happened yesterday? Once again youâre left feeling guilty, Yeonjun always seemed to make you feel that way.Â
When your professor finally arrives, the lecture moves slowly, agonizingly so. And for once, you didnât find any joy in your studies. Sure it might also have something to do with the persistent feeling of being watched. â Turning your head ever so slightly to the right, you find Soobinâs eyes locked on your unnerved frame. Not even when he knows that youâve caught him does he turn away.
He continues to watch you throughout the day. Wherever you went, he seemed to be there too. Eyes boring into you at all times, an indifferent expression on his face. He knew something, that much you were sure of.Â
âžâž
Finally, as your last lesson comes to an end, you manage to slip past Soobinâs prying gaze as you hurried down the stairs to meet Kai. The two of you had begun accompanying each other on the way home as you both took the bus from the same station. â You find him waiting by the entrance, a large smile plastered across his face and as soon as your eyes fell on him, all worries were washed away.Â
âHow was class?â He asks as you walk down the courtyard. You shrug, swinging your bag in front of you cheerily, ânothing out of the ordinary.â â âNo mean comments, no nothing?â He wonders and you bite the inside of your cheek, ânoâŠactually not.â After the news of Mimiâs breakup, everyone had fallen into this sort of trance where no one seemed to want to bring attention to themselves. Thus you had been left alone all day, which felt both nice and incredibly weird.Â
Kai hums, the two of you were walking so close that your arms brushed together, but you didnât mind. Once you reach the large gates leading out onto the streets however, you freeze. Stopping a pace in front of you, Kai turns to you with a small frown, âsomething wrong?â â You shake your head, ânoâŠI just.. think I left a book behind, you go ahead.âÂ
He opens his mouth, as if to object but you quickly interrupt him, âitâs fine! I wouldnât want you to miss your busâ, you reassure him as you offer a small smile. âThen what about you?â He wonders but you just wave it off in a disregarding manner, âIâll take the next one, donât worry about me.â He doesnât seem entirely convinced but the small hug you give him makes him nod. âAlright, text me when you get homeâ, he says and you quickly agree as you send him off.Â
You watch him disappear down the pavement with a small sigh. Not until heâs completely out of sight do you turn to cross the street. You walk with long and determined strides, not stopping until you reach the large tree by the sidewalk. â Yeonjun isnât wearing his usual school uniform, instead heâs dressed in a dark pair of jeans, a black jacket wrapped around his torso to prevent the chilly December air from getting to him. He leans against the naked tree trunk, his gaze flickering from the concrete beneath him and over to you as you approach.Â
Feet planting in front of his, you cross your arms as you peer up at him with an expectant look on your face. He doesnât say anything, tongue prodding against the inside of his cheek. Unable to bear the silence, you break it. âYou didnât come to school today.â You donât know why you stated the obvious, perhaps you wanted him to explain himself, but he doesnât, only nodding silently.Â
Frustrated, you run a hand through your hair. He wanted to talk to you, right? Thatâs why he was waiting across the street from your college, openly risking being spotted by your classmates. So why wasnât he saying anything? â Huffing out a short breath, you part your lips to say something, but heâs quicker than you.Â
âI broke up with herâ, he calmly states. His posture remains relaxed as he speaks but his eyes search yours with something akin to desperation. â âI know.â You mumble, biting the inside of your lip before continuing, âshe was crying all day, did you know that?â He scoffs, âso?â His nonchalant approach made you frown, âso? Donât you care?â Your question is met by the mere shake of his head as he shrugs, âno, do you?âÂ
âI do.âÂ
He hadnât expected your answer, you could tell by the way his face dropped, if only for a moment. âWhy? Itâs not exactly like sheâs a good person.â He jeers, shoving his hands deeper into the denim pockets of his jeans. âAnd you are?â Even though your voice remains steady, thereâs a linger of hurt between your quiet words. â He goes silent in front of you as his gaze flits between yours and the entrance behind him.Â
âWhy are you even here, Yeonjun?â Your tone is near accusing and he looks almost guilty as his attention shifts back to you. He swallows, rubbing a hand along his neck, as if stalling for time. You bite your tongue, waiting patiently for him to speak. â âWhy do you like him?â, he finally asks. It hardly took a genius to guess who he was referring to.Â
You sigh, observing the way the naked branches of the tree moved against the mild breeze. âI told you, didnât I?â You drawl, readjusting the bag swung over your shoulder. The corner of his mouth twitches as Yeonjun shakes his head, âthatâs not what I wanted to hear.â â âAnd you think youâre in a position to make demands like that?â You snort, watching as he pushes himself off the tree before taking a step in your direction.Â
Leaning back to glance up at him, you try your best to hold your ground as he tilts his head to the side, cocking a questioning eyebrow at you. âThen tell me what I need to do.â â Your mouth falls open as you gawk at him, what was he implying? Taking a step back only ends up with him taking yet another forward, his hands coming up from his pockets to rest on your shoulders.Â
âTell me how to be like him.âÂ
Slowly you realize just what he was asking of you. Immediately shaking your head, you take yet another step back. âIt doesnât work like that.â You quietly murmur, averting your gaze to avoid looking him in the eyes. He frowns, a confused frown, âsure it doesâ, he says, sounding almost hopeful as he grips your shoulders tighter. âJust tell me what I need to do and Iâll do it.âÂ
Did he honestly think that everything could be undone just like that? The pain, the tears, the bullying, that he could take it all back just because he wanted to? Just because he had a change of heart? The thought was almost as ridiculous as his proposal. â This was Choi Yeonjun, he wasnât about to change his ways just because of you, you should know that. Whatever this was, this moment of confusion, it wouldnât last, and you had to pull out before you got hurt, again.Â
âI donât know what you want from meâŠâ You bite back the harsh insults waiting on your tongue, shaking your head once more. âI donât know what it is, and I donât care. Please just stop confusing meâ, you almost beg as you try to pry his hands off of you. â Yeonjun looks perplexed as he lets you push him off. âConfusing you? I donâtââÂ
âDo you think Iâm stupid?â You retort, your voice growing in intensity as you failed to hold back the anger and resentment you held for him. âI let you screw me over, I let you use me, humiliate me, I put up with all of it, becauseâŠâ You exhale, taking a step forward as you point an accusing finger to his chest. âBecause at one point I thought that I liked you, but I donât. I know exactly what you are and I know that you wonât change.âÂ
He frowns, his fingers wrapping around your wrist on his chest. âYou donât know the first thing about m-â â âI do.â You cut him off, aware of the way his jaw clenches as his grip on your wrist tightens. âI know that you cheat, you lie, you use people as you please, and worst of all, you donât even feel guilty about it.âÂ
You tear yourself from his grasp, stumbling backward as you cradle your sore wrist. âI know far from everything about youâ, you state, watching him bite the inside of his cheek as he fights off the remark he so desperately wished to fire. â âBut I know that I hate you. And thatâs enough reason for me to stay as far away from you as possible.âÂ
âSo please, leave me the fuck alone.âÂ
As soon as you turn around to dart down the street, the tears spill from your eyes as you sob into your open palm. More than anything, you regret ever becoming infatuated with him.Â
âžâž
Yeonjun didnât come to school the following day either, nor the day after that. People stopped asking about him, only becoming disregarded by both Beomgyu and Soobin as the two kept to themselves. Yet the tallerâs persistent stares remained as Soobin watched your every move, like a hawk stalking its prey. Even now, as you sat by your usual table, listening to Kai as he rambled on about a random topic, did you feel his gaze on you.Â
âD-Did you hear me?âÂ
Kaiâs hesitant voice snaps you from your trance as your eyes shift to his fidgety frame. Nervously twisting the hem of his uniform, he gives you a sheepish smile. You blink, âIâŠsâsorry what did you say?â You wonder, feeling a bit embarrassed by your lack of engagement as he spoke. But Kai only shakes his head, the tips of his ears turning pink as he clears his throat. âI was wondering if⊠if you would maybe want to study this weekend a-at my place?âÂ
You could tell that it had taken almost all his courage to ask the simple question. But somehow you find yourself comparing it to how easy such demands had fallen from Yeonjunâs lips as he shamelessly took whatever he wanted. Internally you curse yourself for letting your mind so comfortably shift to the subject of Yeonjun when you had tried so hard to forget about him.Â
âSure I would love to!â You smile, heart swelling at the endearing sight before you as Kaiâs face practically explodes in an ocean of red. âR-Really?â He asks and you nod, âof course!â â Youâre about to ask him what time would be suitable when suddenly a large shadow is casted over your table. Squinting up your eyes lock with none other than Choi Soobin as he peers down at you with a vacant expression.Â
âI need to talk to you.â He states in a monotone voice, jutting his chin toward the large entryway of the cafeteria. Your gaze flits between him and Kai as your friend shifts uncomfortably in his seat. âO-Okayâ, you quietly mumble, giving Kai an apologetic look as you get up to trail after Soobinâs tall frame.Â
He walks fast, and you almost have to jog in order to keep up. Pushing past the crowded hallways, Soobin doesnât seem to mind the multiple glances shot his way. The two of you walk for a good five minutes without stopping, and just as youâre about to ask where youâre going, he comes to an abrupt halt, making you almost facepalm against his back.
With the light kick of his foot, the door to a vacant classroom swings open and he steps inside, seemingly waiting for you to do the same. â Once the door is shut behind you, he turns to lean against the wall, folding his arms across his chest. Nervously, you tug at the collar of your blazer as you glance around the dark room.Â
You donât think you had been alone with Soobin, ever. Nor did you think that you had ever heard him utter more than two words out loud. And he had never directed a single one to you. So to say that your current situation was surprising, would be a grave understatement. â You think a whole minute must have passed when he finally speaks. But the words coming out of his mouth made you wish for everything to be silent again.Â
âWhatâs your deal with Yeonjun?âÂ
His voice is low, barely above a murmur, and deep too. Not at all like his snarky friends whose laughs would echo off the hallways. You swallow, hard, the sound is audible in the otherwise quiet room. Unlike Beomgyu, Soobin never once picked on you, nor did he join in when the others were laughing, at best or worst, he would give a small grin. â If it were Beomgyu you would at least expect him to be mad in a situation like this, but Soobin remains eerily calm as he watches you from a distance, just like he had these past three days.Â
âI donât think thatâs any of your businessâ, you stand your ground, despite the fact that it felt as if the floor was literally shaking beneath you. He chuckles, itâs breathy, almost inaudible. âYou donât need to act so prideful, heâs told me everything about you.â â It feels as if all air has been knocked out of your lungs. So he did know something.Â
âEverything?â You exhale, your breath near trembling. He gives a curt nod, âeverything, except for why he isnât here todayâ, he mutters, seemingly displeased with the fact. â A small frown etches its way to your face, lips parting in confusion. âI know youâve got something to do with it.â He states, tilting his head back as he gazes up toward the ceiling. âBut he wonât tell me what.âÂ
Biting the inside of your cheek, you glance down to the floor, the uneven wood planks suddenly seeming very intriguing. âI couldnât possibly know why heââ â âDonât bullshit me.â He snaps, his eyes flickering back to you within milliseconds. Your breath gets caught in your throat as you flinch, taking a small step back before your thighs hit the table behind you. Soobin ignores your skittish reactions as he continues. âI donât know what heâs getting at, going for someone like you.â He says it with such distaste that it makes your skin crawl.Â
Before you know it, he takes a step forward, then another one, and another one, until heâs got you caged against the desk. He doesn't say anything, one of his hands reaching into his pocket as he rummages through it. Pulling up a folded piece of paper, he shoves it into your open palm. âHe asked me to give you this.â â He brushes his hand against his jeans as he takes a step back.Â
âFix whatever you caused.â Is all he says before turning on his heel to leave again. Upon yanking the door open, heâs met with Kaiâs alarmed frame as he jumps to the side. Sparing him a mere side glance, Soobin shoves past him as he takes off down the hallway. â You shove the small paper in the pocket of your blazer as you walk over to your friend with a sheepish smile. âHey how long have you been standing-â
âYou and Yeonjun?â He asks, almost baffled as he eyes you, full of distrust. The smile immediately vanishes from your face and your throat suddenly goes dry. âW-What?â You ask, still not registering his question fully, hoping that maybe you had heard him wrong. Kai shakes his head, his jaw momentarily clenching. âJust how much exactly did you hear?â You quietly whisper.Â
He gives you a small shrug, âenough.â â He sighs, looking almost defeated as he runs a hand through his blond hair. âI thought youâŠI mean the two of you, I never thoughtâŠâ Frowning, he gives up with a small huff and you bite your lip, reaching out a hesitant hand to place on his shoulder, but he only jerks away from your touch.Â
âWhy didnât you tell me?â He sounds hurt, you can tell he is. The guilt was slowly seeping back into your veins, Yeonjun always made you feel guilty, but this timeâŠthis time it was your own doing. âIâm sorry.â The apology is genuine, you hope he can tell. Because you really are sorry, sorry for not being honest with your only friend.Â
Kai looks at you, his eyes hold so much pain that you wondered just how deep your lie had stung. âDo you like him?â He asks, his voice sounds strained, as if he was holding back tears. The question catches you off guard and you blink. Did you like him? No, of course not. You hated him. You hated Choi Yeonjun.Â
âNo, nevermind, donât answer.â He shakes his head, âI donât care.â â You fumble for words, wanting to say anything that would comfort him. It felt almost impossible. âI- Iâm sorry I shouldâve told you Iââ â âYeah you shouldâve.â He bites back, his unusually harsh tone making you wince. âYou shouldâve told me a long time ago. Before I..â He cuts himself off, biting his cheek as his gaze drops to the floor.Â
âBefore what?â You quietly wonder, noting the way his shoulders slumped as he exhaled a shaky breath. âBefore I liked you.â His voice is merely above a whisper, his attention strained to the floor as he refused to look you in the eyes. Your mouth falls open, it wasnât like you were completely unaware. Kaiâs lingering touches and stares didnât go unnoticed but you had never imagined that his feelings ran this deep.Â
âYou like me?âÂ
He scoffs, dragging his feet leisurely in front of him. âI thought that was obvious.â He pauses, his gaze briefly meeting yours before fleeting down again, but it was just enough for you to catch the shiny layer of tears coating his lashes. You swallow, it felt almost as if you were about to throw up, the guilt slowly eating away at you.Â
All you could do was stare at him with a stunned expression, not knowing what you could possibly say to mend the situation. Kai draws in a sharp breath before he wipes his face with the back of his hand. âItâs alrightâ, he mumbles, âitâs not your fault.â â Your heart might as well just have been ripped out and stepped on at this point. Why was he being so kind to you, when you so obviously didnât deserve it.Â
âWeâre friends stillâŠarenât we?â He wonders, looking up from the floor with bloodshot eyes. âT-This doesnât change anything, right?â â You wanted to tell him that this changed everything, that things might never be the same again. But you couldnât, you couldnât hurt him like that. So you shake your head, wrapping your arms around him as you hug him tight. âOf course not, Kai.âÂ
You wondered if things had turned out differently between the two of you, had you never gotten involved with Yeonjun.Â
âžâž
Itâs early, earlier than youâd like to admit as you leave your apartment that Sunday morning. The sun has yet to rise and the city is still asleep, but you haven't been able to shut your eyes and relax for the past three days. No, you had waited, dreaded, for this day to come. â The bus is almost empty, save for another young woman, but she looks far more comfortable than you as she rests her head against the window.Â
The air is cold as you step off, and you hug your coat tighter around your body. You walk for about ten minutes before a large building comes into view. Pulling the small note from your pocket, you glance between the address scribbled down and the number on the building in front of you, they perfectly align. â The note, the one Soobin had so hastily shoved in your hand three days ago, the note you had reread at least a hundred times throughout the weekend. An address, a day, but not a time. â Perhaps you were a bit early, but as you trudged up the stairs, you no longer cared. You had waited for three whole days, youâd had enough.Â
You take the stairs instead of the elevator. To get some exercise in, you tell yourself. But there was no mistaking the fact that you wanted to prolong the moment for as long as possible, despite your urgency to get here. â Finally, you reach the fifth floor, out of breath, you lean against the wall as you take a moment to gather yourself.Â
The first time you read the note you had considered not showing up at all. It was a cowardly move to send his friend in his place. But at the same time, your mind longed for answers, answers that you would hopefully get today. â You bring the paper to your face, rereading it one final time. The address, the day, and the small sentence, at the very bottom.Â
âLetâs talk, please.âÂ
Fine, if he wanted to talk, then you would talk. Your fingers curl into a fist, lightly tapping the dark wood. Had it been anyone else, you wouldâve been mindful of the still early hour. But right now your mind was set on one thing alone. â Your heart beats obnoxiously loud in your chest, the wait seemingly eternal.Â
Then the door creaks open. And as soon as your eyes fall on him, you can tell that heâs had trouble sleeping too. The bags under his eyes were a most unusual look, his hair too, laid messily sprawled on top of his head. Heâs still dressed, almost as if he hadnât gone to bed at all. â âHiâ, his voice is low, raspy, like he hadnât spoken in days. You give him a small nod of acknowledgement and he steps aside as he lets you in.Â
Yeonjunâs apartment is clean, minimalistically furnished. It wasnât like you had ever tried to imagine what his home would look like, but this somehow felt just like him. Your gaze trails across the few paintings on the walls, you can tell that he hadnât picked them himself, most likely they came with the flat. The white couch, situated by the large windows, catches your eye.Â
Upon walking over and taking a seat, you find that Yeonjun does the same, maintaining a respectable distance as he glances down towards his hands. For a moment, everything is quiet. Part of you wished to stay like this forever. But that was of course impossible. â He clears his throat, shifting awkwardly on the sofa. âDo you want something to drink?â You bite your lip before nodding, âwaterâs fine.âÂ
He gets up, walking over to the joint kitchen as he turns on the faucet. You can hear him grabbing glasses, filling them to the brim before returning to place one in front of you on the marbled coffee table. Quietly thanking him, you take the glass, bringing it to your lips as you take a sip. You wait for him to speak first, he was after all, the one who had reached out.Â
Yeonjun looked very different like this. In the comforts of his own home he resembled little of the person you had grown accustomed to in school. You wondered if he often brought people over, judging by how awkward he was acting, you supposed not. â He draws in a sharp breath, his gaze remaining downcast as he speaks.Â
âYou got my note..â He mumbles as you set your glass down. âI didâ, you state, leaning back against the soft cushion as you turn your head in his direction. âWhy didnât you give it to me yourself?â You frown, feeling rather hurt by his choice of using his friend, his friend who definitely didnât seem to like you. Yeonjun is silent, heâs silent for a good while, fingers intertwined with one another as he bites the inside of his cheek.Â
âI was scared.â He quietly admits and your eyes widen at the confession. âY-You were?â You canât shield the surprise in your voice, Choi Yeonjun, scared? He scoffs, and for a moment, his usual self emerges as his face turns into a small scowl, but the way his eyes flicker as he speaks gives him away. âOf course I fucking was, I still am.âÂ
âWhy?âÂ
He doesnât answer straight away, as if considering his next words with great care. Running a hand through his disheveled hair, he lets out a small almost inaudible exhale. âBecause Iâm scared that Iâve fucked things up so bad this time⊠That thereâs no going back.â â You uncomfortably shift on the couch as you distract yourself by taking another sip of your water. Yeonjunâs body is taut as his jaw clenches, refusing to even glance in your direction he keeps his gaze steadily fixed on the window in front of him as the darkness outside slowly shifts into a deep blue. Â
âI wantâŠâ He slowly begins, his sentence falling short as he takes another couple of breaths. âI want to apologize.â You blink, your eyes shifting from the water in your glass and over to him, you donât think you had ever heard him speak with such sincerity. â And for the first time since your arrival, he looks at you. He swallows, adam's apple bobbing as he does.Â
âIâm sorry.âÂ
When you donât say anything he hastily continues. âI know that it doesnât fix shit, but IâŠI still need to say it. And if I could I would go back and undo all the pain I caused you, I really would. I donât expect you to forgive me, quite frankly I donât even expect you to ever talk to me again, I suppose thatâs fair. But if I donât tell you how sorry I am now, Iâm afraid that I never will.â He takes a deep breath, holding it for a few seconds before letting it go again, his shoulders slumping, almost like a deflating balloon.Â
âSo, Iâm sorryâŠfor everything.âÂ
He holds his tongue after that, gaze dropping down to his fingers once more. You donât know how to feel, much less what to say. It was all so surreal. Hearing those words come out of his mouth felt almost like a fever dream and you wondered if you had perhaps managed to fall asleep after all and that this was just a fragment of your imagination, the universe pulling a sick prank on you.Â
But then you turn to look at him. Heâs nothing like the Yeonjun who had hurt you for so many weeks. Right now he looks small as he sits on the couch, biting the inside of his lip as he nervously rolls his thumbs together. In the end you realize that no matter how you feel, thereâs only one thing you can say to him.Â
âI forgive you.âÂ
He freezes, teeth letting go of his lip as he slowly lifts his head to peer over at you. An almost puzzled look paints his otherwise tired face, âyou do?â He sounds almost disbelieving as he studies you with a wary expression. â You slowly nod, watching as his eyes widen with recognition, he swallows. Then everything becomes silent once more. This time itâs a different kind of silence, itâs not comfortable but the air somehow feels lighter, if only a little.Â
You find yourself staring out the large windows. The sky had turned a deep orange now, shades of pink seeping through the cracks formed by the clouds. The darkness slowly makes way for the light as a new day rises before you. â You want to say something, now feels like a good moment to get things off your chest. But you canât seem to find the words, your throat feels thick and it becomes hard to swallow. Â
âPlease like me instead.âÂ
At first you thought that you had imagined it. The faint whisper of his lips. But when he shuffles next to you on the couch, turning to face you fully, thereâs no doubt about it. You tear your gaze from the warm sky as you glance over at him. In the morning light, Yeonjun looked like he was glowing. Despite the dark circles under his eyes, his dry lips, or even his unkempt hair; he looked truly beautiful.Â
âWhat?âÂ
Your voice is soft, a low murmur, unsure and hesitant. He scoots closer, your knees touching as he places his hands on the cushion either side of him. âLike me instead. Instead of him.â Instead of Kai. He searches your gaze desperately as he bites his lip, leaning closer. â You donât say anything, if you do, his statement would become real. Youâre scared, you think.Â
But he doesnât give up. âI know that you hate me, but please, I canât stand it when-â Â
âI donât hate you, Yeonjun.âÂ
His mouth shuts, and he blinks at you, confused, brows knitting together. âWhat?â â âBut you said..â You shake your head, turning away as you feel tears prick in the corner of your eyes. You hated how easily he made you cry, even when he didnât intend to. âI lied.â You confess, shame and guilt overflowing your senses. âWhy?â
âBecause I was scared.âÂ
As the words left your lips, you think that the two of you might not be so different after all. Maybe, just maybe. â Yeonjun doesnât say anything, his attention dropping to your knees, barely grazing one another. His hand on the sofa twitches, as if he held himself back from reaching out, from touching you.Â
âI was scared of liking you.â Your quiet whisper felt like a weight being lifted off your shoulders. A small murmur was all it had taken, so why had it seemed so hard? â His gaze shifts back to your face, his eyes wide as his lips part in surprise. âYou were right all alongâ, you give him a half hearted smile, watching as his frown deepened. âIâve always liked youâ, you swallow, âeven when I didn't want to.â  Â
A pang of guilt takes over his expression for a moment as he internally cringes at your words, more so his own actions. âI thought it would go away if I told myself that I hated you.â You shake your head, glossy eyes dropping to your hands, the first tears threatening to escape at any moment. âIt never did.â Your vision slowly becomes blurred as you blink away the salty droplets that fell down your cheeks.Â
You can barely see it, but you can feel it, the warm caress of his hand on your cheek. It feels nice, comforting, you donât push him off, you donât want to. He wipes your tears, the very same that he had caused. The faint whisper of yet another apology lingering on his lips. â Then he hesitates, you never saw Yeonjun hesitating, he always took what he wanted, did as he pleased. But you can tell that heâs uncertain of his next move. His eyes flickering between your teary eyes and parted lips.Â
In the end he decides to be brave. Slowly initiating what had been on both of your minds for weeks now. But when his lips meet yours, it feels different, this kiss is nothing like your previous ones. It holds no guilt, no shame, no secrets, it doesnât feel forced nor desperate. It feels like an apology, remorseful of the past, and like a promise, a vow to the future. You can tell that he expects you to pull back, to tell him off, just like you had days prior.Â
Instead you cling to him, part of you thinks that this might be just what you need, another part says itâs stupid and reckless. But in the end, you want to be brave too. Even if that meant being stupid and reckless. â The stupid and reckless part of you lets him push you back against the soft cushion, lets him kiss you deeper, lets his hands trail across your body.Â
âIâm sorry.â He chants it like a prayer, littering your body in the light caress of his lips. You know he means it, every kiss, every touch, every apology. â His hair feels soft between your fingers, you twist the strands lightly, feeling him sigh against your skin. Yeonjun was usually one to talk in moments like these, but today there are no sarcastic remarks on his tongue. Heâs quiet, attentively listening to the hitch of your breath, the small moan passing your lips, he doesnât want to miss a single thing.Â
He tugs your tights off, his hands immediately soothing the goosebumps erupting on your naked skin. You think he looks pretty like this, basked in the first rays of sunshine, half lidded eyes rapidly moving as he trails them across every inch of your body. â His lips return to yours, fingers sliding between your legs just like they had so many times before, but this time itâs different, everything is.Â
He touches you slowly, he pays attention, he wants to know exactly how he makes you feel. Treating you as if you were made out of glass, worshiping you as if you were made out of gold. You become hyper aware of the way his body moves against yours, the soft pattern of his fingers sending sparks through your stomach.Â
You had been intimate with Yeonjun more times than you could remember. Yet as he lines himself up alongside you, it suddenly feels like the first. It feels new, nervous, perhaps even a little scary. But that was okay, you knew that he was scared too. â He goes slow, savoring the moment as his face rests in the crook of your neck. âIâm sorry.â He canât stop saying it, itâs never enough, it never makes up for the damage heâs created, he knows it. But you forgive him, you would continue to forgive him for eternity if he apologized for as long.Â
He groans against you, his voice is near trembling. Your hands are on his back, feeling the smooth surface of his skin, then theyâre tangled in his hair, pulling him to look at you. For the first time it feels as if youâre seeing him clearly. Behind the lying, the cheating, the bullying, it was just him. Just Yeonjun.Â
As soon as the first tear rolls down his cheek, you kiss him. Tasting the saltiness on your lips, he sobs into your mouth. His chest heaves against yours, his once slow and deliberate thrusts becoming jagged and uneven as he fights to stay composed. You want to say something, but you donât know what. Instead you pull him closer, so close that you canât feel anything but his body against yours.Â
You stay like that, melted against one another. Hours pass, neither of you seem to mind. His breath is warm against your chest, your fingers are soft in his hair. The silence is light, comforting, reassuring. Your mind is filled with him, heâs all you can think about, all you want to think about. You know he feels the same, itâs comforting to know. Itâs also scary, youâre not sure if youâre ready. But even then, youâll at least be scared together, just the two of you.Â
Itâs nice to not be alone.Â
âžâž
Monday morning also feels different. Maybe because youâre walking down the hallway side by side, you and Yeonjun. People stare, he tells you to ignore them, you try, and it works. You glance over at him, he looks happy, his step is light, his arm securely wrapped around your waist. You find yourself smiling, biting the inside of your cheek as you gaze ahead.Â
Itâs not until you reach the all too familiar door, leading into your classroom, that you halt. Confused, Yeonjun stops a pace in front of you. âIs something wrong?â He asks as he studies your nervous posture, your eyes flickering between the now almost empty hallway and the door in front of you. The corridors were one thing, but the classroom held so many memories. Memories that wouldnât just vanish over a day.
He notices your hesitation, a small smile tugging at his lips as he shakes his head. He reaches out, his warm hand enveloping yours as he grips it firmly. You glance between your interlocked fingers, and the small grin splayed across his face. â âIâve got you, nerd.âÂ
The small reassurance makes you smile, and you nod, letting him tug you closer as Yeonjun pushes the classroom door open.
# welcome to my taglist! a lot of people has been in my inbox requesting to be tagged in certain works so i thought it'd be easier for me to make this instead ă ă
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genre: friends with benefits to lovers, smut, the slightest bit of angst, kinda mutual (unknown) pining??
synopsis: when beomgyu asked you to be fuck buddies, you thought it was risky considering your already growing feelings for him. but, you just couldnât pass up the opportunity to be close to him in any way that you could. now youâre wondering if the two of you will ever be anything more than this.
warnings: unprotected sex (no!!), dom!beomgyu, sub!reader, fingering, creampie, multiple orgasms, slight praise, petnames (baby), some aftercare
word count: 3.1kâmasterlist
author's note: when i tell you i was literally working against the clock for this one to post it on time for beomgyuâs birthday⊠happy birthday beomgyu!! :)) this was kinda inspired by the song k. by cigarettes after sex! hopefully i can get past this writerâs block so i can start posting regularly again :( i hope you enjoy!! âĄ
the mixture of you and beomgyuâs pants filled your bedroom. the two of you had been going at it in different positions for hours and the sun had just started to come up. your body was essentially jello by now but the feeling of beomgyu inside you felt too good to stop. besides, you knew this was the only time you could ever be intimate with him.
when the idea of you and beomgyu being friends with benefits first arose, you were hesitant to accept his offer. the two of you were close, but not exactly bestfriends. you refused to let yourself get that close to him knowing you had feelings for your longtime friend. it was also difficult knowing that he mainly just wanted a quick fuck whenever you were down for it.
but, you couldnât refuse. you couldnât pass up the opportunity to have your body pressed against his, your breaths mixing as he pounded deep inside you.
again, you felt the knot in your stomach tighten as the pleasure got too much for you. âbeomgyu, iâm gonna c-cum again,â you spoke shakily, pushing at his shoulders. everytime the two of you were together he insisted that the main position you fucked in was missionary. âyouâre face is way too pretty to just be pushed down into the sheets,â beomgyu had said.
beomgyu pressed his lips to yours, half kissing you and half moaning, âcum for me, baby. one last time.â your nails dug into his shoulders and you leaned your head back towards the headboard as you came undone. still, beomgyu slid in and out of you, helping you chase your high. his lips were on your jaw and slight whimpers were coming out of his mouth as he came right after you.
you looked at beomgyu through hooded lids and furrowed brows as you felt him release inside you once again. whining a little, you kissed him hard. after this, he would leave and you would be alone again. you didnât want the time the two of you were spending together to end, even if the ever growing stickiness between your thighs was starting to get a little uncomfortable. you were definitely going to have to wash your sheets and comforter a couple times after this, the mix of both of your cum was all over it.
beomgyu slid out of you and fell onto the bed next to you, his hair falling over his eyes as he looked over to you. he tapped a finger to your lips, his body catching the light from the thin sheen of sweat all over him. âgood?â beomgyu asked you. you giggled and nodded, âvery good.â beomgyu smiled at you and got up from the bed, the sunlight coming through from the blinds lighting up with slightly dark room.
âshower with me,â beomgyu said as he walked around to your side of the bed. he held out his hand to you and you had to resist the urge to take in his naked body in front of you. youâve seen him naked more times that you could count now, but it always shocked you to see how delicious he looked. you stood up slowly, wincing slightly from the pain in your legs, and took his hand.
you had some of beomgyuâs clothes, either from him keeping some at your apartment for future hookups or him accidentally leaving some at your place after rushing out. you didnât mind really, it was more convenient and you liked wearing his shirts to bed after he left.
âif i can get upâŠâ you trailed as you moved to him. âi wasnât expecting to go for that long today,â you added as you wobbled slightly. beomgyu smirked down at you as he held you steady. âi didnât hear you complaining,â he replied as you both made your way to your bathroom.
rolling your eyes at him playfully as you leaned against the sink, you murmured under your breath, âand you never will.â thankfully, him turning the water on covered your words. becoming fuck buddies was risky enough to the strange friendship you and beomgyu had, but adding your feelings into the mix would be catastrophic. sometimes you felt like your friendship was hanging off the ledge and one wrong move would completely destroy it and you would lose beomgyu forever.
the sound of the shower curtains drawing pulled you out of your thoughts and you looked over to beomgyu. âcome on,â he said and stepped into the shower and behind the curtains. you walked over and pulled the curtains back slightly to peer in at him. beomgyuâs back was to you and he was under the running water as you stepped into the shower. he turned to you with a small smile and moved you towards the water.
the two of you worked in silence as you washed your bodies, occasionally helping each other, until you were clean. you were both now sitting on your bed watching the sunrise through the window that you opened to let in the fresh air. âlet me take you out to dinner,â beomgyu suddenly said, his wet hair sticking to his forehead. you turned to him with a raised eyebrow. âi feel like an asshole after we have sex. i donât want you to feel like iâm just using you,â he then added.
isnât that what this is though? maybe not him explicitly using you per se, but him just being here for the sex? you knitted your brows together as you thought over his proposal. you tried not to let yourself fall into the thought that beomgyu might want something more than this. you didnât want to go through the heartbreak if you turned out to be wrong.
what damage could you going out to dinner with him do? âokay,â you nodded, speaking softly. beomgyuâs face lit up with a smile and he brought his lips to yours, causing your heart to race and your face to heat up significantly. the two of you did all the intimate things couples do, except you werenât one. it made your head spin.
âlater on today!â beomgyu exclaimed as he got up from the bed. he started to collect his things from around your bedroom. your heart sank as you realized he was about to leave. âaround noon. iâll pick you up!â he added. you put on a smile that didnât quite reach your eyes as you nodded again. âiâll see you then!â you laughed breezily, hoping to come off as carefree as you got up and followed him to the door.
beomgyu pressed another kiss to your mouth before turned to leave. you waved goodbye to him as he jogged to his car before shutting your door. pressing your head to the coldness of the door, you breathed in deeply. you desperately needed to sort out your feelings before this all became a mess.
you smoothed out your dress again as you stood in front of the mirror by your door. taking a deep breath, you checked the time on your phone again. beomgyu would be arriving any minute, which was confirmed from the incoming text of him saying he was around the corner. you still werenât sure if this classified as a date or not and you triedâand failed miserablyâto steel your nerves.
there was a knock at your door, causing you to jump. you took one last deep breath before opening it to beomgyu on the other side. a small smile grew on his face. âhi,â beomgyu said, taking in your appearance. âyou look pretty!â you couldnât help but smile back at him, especially after he called you pretty. everytime you looked at him your heart fluttered and leaped around in your chest, begging to be let free. âhi,â you replied softly, your smile growing. âthank you, you look pretty too!â
âare you ready?â beomgyu asked with a slight laugh and you nodded. he led you to his car and the two of you began the drive to whatever restaurant beomgyu had picked out.
at the restaurant, which was quite fancy from the looks of it, you got a table towards the back where it wasnât as crowded. now you sat across from beomgyu, menu in hand, as your face heated from the sheer thought of the situation you were in. the waiter had come and taken your orders so now it was just a waiting game. you and beomgyu had been making small talk as you tried to ignore the slight grumbling of your stomach.
âi know you said you felt like an asshole, but you didnât have to take me to dinner,â you said, letting a smile form on your face. you were trying to gauge his intentions to make your anxiety go down since pushing your feelings away clearly wasnât working. âi do. and yeah, i did feel like an asshole, but that was mainly an excuse to ask you out to dinner with me,â beomgyu said.
you almost started to choke from an inhale gone wrong but manage to cover it up. you stared at beomgyu with wide eyes, âyou wanted to take me out to dinner?â beomgyu laughed and leaned towards you slightly. âof course! who wouldnât want to take you out to dinner?â the waiter came back with your food and you waited for them to leave before speaking.
âwell you donât really take someone youâre casually fucking out to dinner,â you blurted, stabbing your fork into the food you got. you froze as you realized what you just said. without missing a beat, beomgyu replied, âthen letâs stop being casual.â
looking up at him, mouth agape, you struggled to form words. all you could manage was a choked, âwhat?â beomgyu shrugged and repeated his words, a smirk growing on his face. âwe already do everything a couple doesâkiss, fuck⊠and itâs not like iâm seeing anybody elseâdonât even have the desire to. youâre the only one i want,â beomgyu shrugged again like he was simply saying the grass was green as he ate his food. he then looked up at you through his lashes, âunless youâre seeing someone?â
you forced your mouth to stop hanging wide open. âyou want me?â you asked seriously, setting your fork onto your plate with a slight âclang!â beomgyu stopped eating and looked at you, tilting his head to the side as he let out a small laugh. ây/n, are you serious?â he asked you as if you were joking around with him. when you were silent he sat his utensils down and stared at you for a couple seconds.
âi just spent hours having sex with you. you think iâd spend hours having sex with someone if i only wanted a quick fuck?â beomgyu then ask you seriously. you shrugged and looked down, pushing your food around on your plate. âbeing fuck buddies is different for everyone⊠how was i supposed to know you wanted me back?â you trailed. beomgyu gave you a bewildered look, mouth slightly ajar.
he then called over the waiter and asked for the bill and to-go boxes. you stared at him in confusion, âwhat are you doing?â beomgyu just shook his head at you, saying nothing. the waiter brought what he asked for and he handed you one of the to-go boxes as he paid. âbeomgyu,â you spoke as he moved his food into the box. you were confused on what was happening as you mimicked his actions.
once the two of you were finished, beomgyu stood from his chair, to-go box in hand. âletâs go,â he said. you rose to your feet and grabbed your things with furrowed brows, âgo where?â you desperately needed answers. âmy place,â is all he said as he started towards the entrance of the restaurant.
the drive to beomgyuâs place was silent. he pushed open his front door and dragged you inside towards his bedroom, abandoning your food on the kitchen counter. you stood awkwardly in the middle of his room as you waited for some sort of explanation. âdo i want you?â he murmured under his breath sarcastically like it was some joke. beomgyu turned to you suddenly, âare you seeing someone else?â
âof course not!â you exclaimed, brows knitting further together. âokay then,â beomgyu replied as he began stripping off his clothes. âwhat is going on?â you asked frustrated.
âiâm showing you i want you,â is all beomgyu simply said, now only in his boxers. he came up to you and grabbed the hem of your dress, taking it completely off in one swift movement. you werenât wearing a bra underneath, so now your breasts were on full display for him, nipples perking up from the sudden coldness. beomgyuâs lips were on yours in an instant as his hands slid up your waist.
you returned his kiss as you pressed your body to his for some type of warmth. âyou couldâve waited until after we ate,â you murmured against beomgyuâs lips. you felt him smile and he guided you back to the bed. âlay down,â beomgyu said, breaking away from you. his finger hooked onto the hem of your underwear, âand take these off.â
your heart was racing as you slid your underwear down and climbed onto beomgyuâs bed. heat pulled at your core as you waited for him to make the next move. beomgyu smirked at you as he slowly pulled his boxers down against his hard bulge. his cock sprang out, causing your eyes to widen a little.
now that your mind was clear for once, you really took in just how big beomgyuâs cock was. pressing your thighs together and shifting on the bed, your face heated at the fact that it was about to be inside you. beomgyu stroked himself a couple times before stepping towards the bed. he climbed overtop of you, causing you to lay down onto your back.
the tip of his cock was rubbing against your clit and it sent shivers through your body. your pussy throbbed even more at the contact. âhow could you be so clueless?â beomgyu asked you before his lips captured yours. his hand trailed down to your pussy and his thumb started to rub circles into your clit. you moaned into his mouth, hips rocking upwards, âyou shouldâve just told me.â your voice was starting to come up breathy as your hips grinded up towards his hand.
beomgyu slipped his fingers inside you, âwhy didnât you tell me?â your brain fogged over, small moans escaping your lips as he pumped in and out of you. your wetness made it easy, and the slight squelching sounds set your body on fire. you kissed beomgyu to try and stifle your whimper. âgonna cum,â you breathed out, completely ignoring beomgyuâs question.
you threw your head back into the pillow and beomgyu trailed kisses along your neck as the knot in your stomach tightened. you wrapped your arms around beomgyuâs neck and brought his face to yours as your legs started to tremble, kissing him hard. your hips rolled up as you came around his fingers, breathing heavily as you put your forehead to beomgyuâs.
beomgyu kissed you sweetly for a moment before pulling away to hover over you. he lined his cock with your entrance and slowly slid inside you, brows furrowing. âfuck, baby,â he said as he bottomed out. beomgyu began sliding in and out of you at a decent rate, his head bowed as he watched your cum coat his cock, before picking up his pace.
you cried out as he pressed your thighs to your stomach, using the advantage to fuck into you deeper. âyou can take it, baby. i know you can,â beomgyu said before giving you a chaste kiss, a whimper spilling out of his mouth after. he filled you up so much you felt like you were going to burst at the seams. you felt every inch of him, especially the tip of his cock hitting against your sweet spot. it made tears prick your eyes and your teeth to bite down hard on your bottom lip.
âyou like that? you like when i fuck into you like that? when i make you feel good?â beomgyu breathed, staring down at your whimpering figure. you squirmed underneath him, eyes squeezed shut as you nodded, âmhm, p-please donât stop!â
beomgyu sloppily kissed you, slight grunts vibrating against your mouth as he continued fucking you. âit feels so good,â you murmured, trying to grind up into him in any way that you could. beomgyuâs hands gripping your thighs and pinning you to the bed made it impossible. beomgyu moaned, head falling with tightly knitted brows and you felt him twitch inside you.
âmmm, baby youâre gonna make me cum with how fucking tight you are around me,â he said lowly. beomgyuâs voice was so attractive, especially when he lowered it. that it made the rope inside you snap and you came all over his cock, a whimpering mess beneath him. âthatâs it, baby. fuckâŠâ beomgyu trailed and his grip on your thighs tightened as he feverishly stroked in and out of your pussy faster.
your nails dug into his shoulders as you cried out again, shallow moans pouring out of you as your back arched off the bed. ât-too much!â you whimpered.
âtake it,â beomgyu demanded as he continued his pace. his head fell back and his mouth hung open as you watched his hips roll back and forth through watery eyes.
âshitâŠâ beomgyu said, breathing hard as he came inside you, filling you up even more. his strokes faltered as he rode out his high and you whined loudly underneath him, squirming from your sensitive pussy. beomgyu leaned down and brought his lips to yours to slowly kiss you.
âmy baby,â he said airily, pecking your lips before pulling away. you looked at him through hooded eyes and tear stained cheeks, not even registering his words. beomgyu chuckled at you before kissing your cheek and then your neck. âmy baby, always so good. i could fuck you for days,â he said against your neck, leaving goosebumps on your skin.
beomgyu leaned back and slowly pulled out of you, a wince on his face. you felt empty without him inside you, without his big cock filling you up to the brim. you felt the cum drip out of you and whimpered slightly. beomgyu laid down onto the bed next to you and pulled you towards him. âmy clueless, fucked out baby,â beomgyu laughed as you settled into him. you giggled and pushed at his chest a little, âshut up!â beomgyu pressed a kiss to your forehead as he laughed more.
â synopsis; when a late night conversation with soju and beer transforms into the calling out of choi beomgyus historical pattern of hook up bluffs the attention eventually shifts to you and your sex endeavors.
â warnings; inexperienced!reader, sort of soft dom!yj & switch!gyu, cunninglingus, gagging, throat fuck, cum eating, unsafe sex, creampie, basically all of them are drunk to some degree, iffy word choice with consent but its all definitely consensual, doll/baby petname, childhood best friends/college au
â note; i donât know how to feel about this at all and i feel like i might wake up one day and just randomly despise it with my entire being but here is a threesome fic long overdue on this blog, take it with what you will because this might just be the last time i ever attempt to challenge my skills đ
â send in a small prompt with the format of (member) + (nsfw prompt) and ill write you a small drabble!
âSo what if we didnât go all the way, I still got to eat her out. Which she loved F.Y.I.â
Yeonjun snorts, downing his drink. âDude youâre such a loser.â
âJust say you donât get bitches like I do.â
You donât mean to, but thatâs what breaks your nonchalance, cracking up like that was the funniest thing youâve heard.
Like clockwork, both of their heads turn to you expectantly, as if remembering that youâre here with them and you know you just messed up. Maybe if you keep looking at your phone theyâd know to leave you alone.
This has been a thing since highschool; their dumb Who Gets More Action wars that served almost no purpose but to stroke their young male egos. More times than you could count, youâre for some reason sucked in as the end all be all judge even if there were others present they could go and bother with details of their sex life.
Youâre not letting that happen tonight. You will not become Simon Cowell of who fucks more.
âHey,â Beomgyu starts nudging you with his feet, annoyingly persistent. âHey hey, get off your phone, what are you laughing at?â
Yeonjun easily swipes your phone from your hands making you throw your head back groaning. God, to hell with him. âGive it back!â you whine. He shrugs, stuffing your phone in his pockets. Asshole.
You glare at him with murder on your mind, but all that gets you is a condescending pout thrown your way.
âUghhh Iâm going to throw up, stop with the flirting.â
You throw your plastic cup at Beomgyuâs face, and he flinches back in the most dramatic sense ever. âBitch.â you mutter.
Yeonjun ignores Beomgyuâs comment altogether. âEveryone knows I get more bitches than you Beomgyu. Thatâs why she laughed. Plus, you make up shit all the time.â
âI do not.â
âYou do. You lied about Yoo Jimin.â You recall, giving up on getting your phone back.
Yeonjun makes a sound of remembrance, clasping his hands together. âThat was actually so funny. Yoo Jimin. Youâve lost your mind.â
Beomgyu shoots you a betrayed look, âNo way you believe his propaganda! We literally had sex! Halloween 2021!â
You give him a skeptical look, brows raised. Beomgyu could fool anyone, but he canât fool Yeonjun, let alone you. Beomgyu and Jimin? Didnât make sense. Not on Earth at least.
âThatâs one person anyway who cares.â he mutters.
âRyujin.â You name. âSheâs lesbian Gyu. Even when she was questioning she wouldâve rather killed herself than let a man touch her.â
Yeonjun barks into laughter, leaning into you. âRyujin of all people is fucking mental man.â
âTwo people, still very little.â he counters.
Was that a challenge? If he wanted to play this game, you would be an expert.
âJihyo, Miyeonââ
âI fucked Miyeon.â
âYeah but you said she let you fuck her in the ass, which! She revealed never happened.â
He gasps in horror, face dropped, like that had to be the most offensive thing hes heard.
âI literally have proof it happened, holy shit Miyeonâs a pathological liar.â Beomgyu fumbles his phone, eyes laser focused as his thumb swipes in rapid speed. You snicker, heâs such an idiot. You know heâll turn up empty but hes on a mission so you let him be.
âCan you pass me the beer?â you mutter lazily, feeling the alcohol hit you now, making a grabbing motion to the can far from your reach.
âSure you want more?â Yeonjun whispers, with a similarly lazy slur to his words.
You were all clearly buzzed out, sprawled on the floor of your living room, your table pushed to the side with multiple beer cans crushed in a mess. Itâs your version of heavenâ a little sad maybe, but it was the perfect mix of mundane and fun to you.
âJust beer.â You reply.
He nods, grabbing it for you and instinctively twisting the cap open. Hesâ always been like that, an acts of service sort of guy. The small flex of his veins when he does it is something you silently take note of. Youâre so far gone with your small crush on him.
You clear your throat, snapping yourself out of it. âThanks. Are you gonna give me back my phone or?â
He pretends to think it over, before clicking his tongue. âNah, later.â
You roll your eyes, taking a sip from your can.
âWe donât get to hangout like this often, missed it yâknow? So you can hold off your phone addiction for a bit and stop acting bratty.â he teases.
âAye aye captain.â
He tuts at you, nudging your shoulder. âI literally cringe internally every time you say that.â
You hum, looking over at Beomgyu. Who is incredibly tense, almost frozen. âWhyâd you stop scrolling?â
Maybe Yeonjun saw what you saw, Beomgyuâs face incredibly red, and eyes so weirdly fixed on his phone because he immediately scoots to him, nosy to take a look at his phone screen.
You study Yeonjunâs face. His brows slowly rise. And the only thing he says is âDamn.â
âWhat?â you ask, curiosity peaked. Nobody answers though, seemingly hypnotised by whatevers on Beomgyus screen.
Yeah, thats enough for your lazy ass to get up and see what theyâre looking at.
âŠTo say itâs not what you expect at all is an understatement.
The video playing has no audio, but the visual splayed out in Beomgyuâs hand is all it takes for your thighs to rub instinctively. The phone was obviously placed by the bedside, the view a little tilted, the girl with her face pressed onto the sheets as Beomgyu fucks into her mercilessly unrecognisable, the bed quite literally shaking to match his rhythm. Your face grows hot, and your throat dries, the video looks old because his hair is longer, messier, something that looked like it was from freshman year.
Youâre surprised, itâs more than real. He really was going at it.
âIâm fucking her ass here.â
Holy shit. That mustâve hurt like a bitch.
âHow would we know itâs Miyeon though?â Yeonjun says, eyes set on the screen.
Beomgyu forwards the video towards the end and lets it playâits the part where he picks up the phone and holds the girls head up by her hair, turning her over, capturing her face fucked out, a mix of spit and cum evidently all over, but more than that, its Miyeonâs face covered in filth.
You bite down on your lips, nervously looking at Beomgyuâwho catches your stare. âWhat?â
You shake your head, dismissing him.
Truth is, this mightâve been the most youâve seen from Beomgyu in this light. The light that youâve heard plenty of, but obviously never thought youâd actuallyâŠsee. Hes always been slutty, especially with him being infamous for his gross PDA on campus, but seeing itâseeing him actually fucking the light out of someoneâŠyou gulp down the lump stuck in your throat.
âYouâre a freak dude.â Yeonjun says, laughing.
âBut not a liar.â
âNah youâve yet to prove Jimins, wheres the tape?â
âYou just wanna see her getting railed, touch luck bitch.â Beomgyu closes his phone making you realise you were still staring. âHey, you good? You look like youâve seen a ghost.â Beomgyu shifts his attention to you, making you nervous, shrugging his concern off.
Yeonjun speaks for you instead, a smirk plastered on his face. âSheâs a virgin, basically saw something worse than a ghost.â
God, this again!
âIâm not a virgin holy shit Yeonjun!â
âIâm not a virgin holy shit Yeonjun.â He mimics annoyingly high pitched and you groan.
âIâm not. Iâve had multiple boyfriends before.â
âThree.â Beomgyu says, âYouâve had three boyfriends.â
âAll very long and fruitful relationships, mind you.â
Yeonjun leans back on the couch, stretching his arms behind his back and you know this is a sign that heâs going to be a little bitch about this. âHow far have you went?â
âAll the way.â you glare back challengily, sipping on your beer.
âHad someone nut in your ass?â
You snap your head to Beomgyu in horror, upper lip quirked. Of course heâd be curious about that. âDamn Iâm taking that as a no.â
You force a smile and flip him off rightfully. The little bitch sticks his tongue out at you in retaliation and you have half the mind to not smack him.
âHave you done it without a condom?â
You narrow your eyes at that. Yeonjunâs awfully curious, way too curious for someone whos never been curious. Seriuously, heâd be the last person to care for your sex life. Maybe Beomgyuâtotally Beomgyu, but not Yeonjun.
âIs this an interrogation?â
Yeonjun shrugs.
âIâokay, I havenât. I bet you guys havenât either.â You immediately regret saying that, itâs obvious theyâve done something so trivial. And its even made more obvious when both of them start laughing maniacally.
Your face runs red, resorting to chugging more beer.
Beomgyu rests his head on your lap suddenly and you quirk your brow down at him. âWhat? Your thighs are comfortable.â
You narrow your eyes at him, skeptical of what exactly heâs trying to pull until Yeonjunâs asking you questions again after calming down from his laughing fit.
âGotten fingered?â
âWell no shit.â
Beomgyus attention is piqued, âYou have?â
âHow else am I supposed toâŠyou know..get prepped?â you say, coughing around the word.
Beomgyu snorts, âYou just did the most virgin thing ever oh my god.â
âThatâs why I donât believe a single thing coming out of her mouth.â
âIâm not a virgin.â you say for the umpteenth time. When they both exchange silent looks, you clear your throat. âBut, I might be a littleâŠinexperienced. Thatâs it though, Iâm not a virgin. Iâve had sexâŠlike twice.â
Beomgyu shoots up, making you jump in shock. âTwice?!â he shouts. He looks at you like you mightâve just led the saddest life of the entirety of human history.âAnd three boyfriends? The math isnâtâŠâ
âWell one of them believed pre-marital sex would have us damned soââ
âOh yeahh, your Christian boy Mark.â Yeonjun marvels. âThat guy was a total bitch.â
Yeah, Mark. The guy you thought youâd end up marrying someday, until he decided to cheat with an anal whore as you call it. Cheating on you in broad daylight, in the apartment you shared wasnât enough, he tried to mansplain the difference between anal virginity and vaginal virginity right after he was caught.
You shudder remembering the scene.
âA little unrelated but I always sort of thought you guys fucked.â Beomgyu starts, breaking the silence. âLike at least once.â
You sigh, heâs never letting this sexual tension bullshit thing go. If anything, Yeonjun probably saw you in the least sexual light possible. Unfortunately. âNo. No we havenât Beomgyu, we keep telling you this.â
âYouâ He points a finger at you, âKeep telling me this. Not him. Thatâs suspicious.â
Yeonjun doesnât say anything even as both you and Beomgyu stare at himâ he just mixes his soju and beer together for another shot.
You relent, speaking up. âYeonjun tell him we havenât fucked so he can stop insinuating that weâre freaks behind closed doors 24/7.â
Beomgyu snickers at that, still toying with the fabric of your shorts. You think itâs just out of habit.
âYeah, we havenât.â Yeonjun finally confirms.
You widen your eyes at Beomgyu to taunt him, getting all up on his face, nonverbally celebrating an I told you so. He just rolls his eyes at you, a dumb smile on his face.
âBut I want to.â
âŠWhat.
That has both you and Beomgyu frozen, his smile slowly dropping before he turns to face Yeonjun.
Your mind works overtime trying to process whether you heard that right, did it have any hints of a joke, why couldnât you pick up on it then? Or whether all your life youâve read it all wrongâis it the drinks speaking or? But drunk words are sober thoughtsâŠright? Is he just-
âHuh?â Beomgyuâs the one to ask for a clarification first.
He only shrugs, proving that none of you heard him wrong. âI wanna fuck her. I mean, youâre hot Iâm not being unreasonable.â
You donât know how to respond without sounding like an even more awkward virgin, so you stay silent, trying to make sense of it in your own head. But when you catch Beomgyu slowly nodding from your peripheral vision like what Yeonjunâs saying makes sense, you painfully nudge him.
He whines, defending himself almost immediately. âWhat? Heâs not wrong, youâre mega hot now.â
You squeeze your eyes shut irritated, âDonâtâgod, donât ever say âmega hotâ again.â
Beomgyu mumbles something intelligible, something that sounded like one of his sulky protests that you just ignore as the room falls silent again. Yeonjun seems completely unbothered of the atmosphere, drinking his somaek like this was just another normal day, like he didnât just air out something that could potentially completely flip your entire dynamic.
The tension is thick, and it suddenly feels way too hot to be here anymore but then Beomgyu speaks up again. âDo you know how to suck a dick?â
You snort, not answering as you keep your eyes on the floor.
But itâs impossible to ignore him when he keeps staring at you, almost too intensely for a question you thought was to break the tension. You look to his face, and thereâs no sign of lightheartedness anywhere. He was seriously asking. âSo? Do you?â
You decide to humor him, anything to get over this suffocating silence. âSort of.â
Yeonjun chuckles, âWhat does âsort ofâ mean?â
You roll your eyes, frankly irritated that heâs even speaking right now. âSort of means I can, but I donât know if Iâm âŠgood at it.â
He hums in understanding, nodding. âWanna test your skills out right now?â
Your eyes bulge out, blinking rapidly as you look at Yeonjun in shock. Did he seriously justâŠsay that? Your face grows even hotter as you stutter around a response.
But before you could even form a proper response, Beomgyu says something first, whining into his hands. âI literally cannot be the only one really fucking turned on right now.â
At his words, your eyes instinctively look down to his pants and god, he wasnât kidding. You donât know how you havenât noticed until now, but the imprint of his dick building a tent in his sweatpants has you looking away like youâve just seen the most sinful thing ever. You donât miss the small patch of wetness at the top either. You rub your thighs together again, this time you curse your body for reacting because most of their attention was collectively on you now.
Meaning, they would inevitably notice small details.
And that they did. Yeonjun laughs, but it has laces of mean-spiritedness that has your brain frying at a faster speed. âYou arenât the only one. Our little dollsâ horny as shit too, arenât you? Look at you rubbing your thighs for just the little bits of friction.â Yeonjun says the last part with a pout, so condescendingly, his eyes heavy lidded with what youâre sure is lust.
That gets Beomgyuâs attention, who was lost in his own dilemma, whoâs close enough to touch you, to do something, and that has you more nervous than the time you had to present an unfinished slideshow to the harshest professor in your major.
Your throat is dry again, and you canât seem to get out a word no matter how hard you try. Beomgyu licks his lips momentarily, staring at you, waiting for something, maybe a cue? You donât know, but theyâre both definitely waiting.
Beomgyuâs impatient, and shameless, if that wasnât already obvious enough. With a rasp to his voice, he whispers, âGod, I really wanna touch you right now.â
And you whisper back, like this was secret gossip youâd exchange between yourselves at recess about who was mean to who, who liked who, except this time youâre all grown up, and heâs asking toâŠtouch you. You look behind Beomgyu, Yeonjun very much invested in whatâs happening makes you on the fence. âBut itâllâitâll getâŠweird. Like, between us.â
Beomgyuâs quick to counter. âNo, no it wonât, I promise. Everythingâs going to be the exact same. Just baby, please. Let me take care of you.â
The use of a petname again has you biting down on your lips. You search his eyes, and he looks soâŠdesperate, the sudden switch baffling to you, so different from how you usually see him. Is this how he gets with the girls he fucks? Itâs so hot, youâve never been met with this much enthusiasm.
Your feelings heighten even more when he whispers again at your silence, âPlease, Iâm dying here.â
You let out a breath you were holding in, nodding, âOkay, itâsâitâs okay. You can. Touch me I mean.â
This is the absolute last thing in the world youâd ever expected, like ever. Beomgyu touching you, ministrating your breasts roughly with his big hands through your top, kneeling between your legs, kissing all over from your jaw to your neck like he hasnât gotten action in decades. Itâs like everywhere, your skin scorches, every inchâand heâs so fiery, so harsh with his squeezes and bites that youâre so unprepared for, so unprepared in fact that your eyes already brim with tears, head becoming light with too much stimulation in too little time as you feel him play with your shorts in attempt to take them off.
Suddenly, Beomgyuâs shoved off you completely, having him fall on his ass with a thud. Your eyes fly open in worry, only to be met with Yeonjun way closer to you than earlier. âDude, calm down youâre going too fast.â
Beomgyu rolls his eyes irritably, âYou know you couldâve told me that without fucking throwing me off her, right?â
âLike your ass would listen.â Yeonjun mutters, refocusing his attention to you, âCome on, get up on the couch doll, Iâll show you how its done.â
Youâre hesitant. Youâre okay with messing around with Beomgyuâyou are because heâs the best friend that you have zero romantic feelings for, but Yeonjun? You already have thisâŠtiny crush on him that has been fostering since the dawn of times, a light lit then dimmed for years throughout the time youâve known himâŠwould this not set it on a full blown out fire? Are you ready to risk getting your rocks off to find out?
Yeonjun calls your name again, snapping you out of your reverie. âIf you donât want to Iâm not gonnaâŠâ
âNo no, umâsorry I was just, like, thinking. Sure.â you choke out, cheeks red.
Fuck it.
You situate yourself on the couch like he instructed, looking at Beomgyu for a second in semi-panic, but that horndogs too far gone to properly communicate with you through telepathy so youâre left a puddle, a little jittery as you nervously pick at the thread of the old couch, preparing yourself for whats to come.
Yeonjun smiles, slotting himself between your legs. âIâm gonna take it slow, âkay? Tell me if it becomes too much and Iâll stop.â
You nod, taking a deep breath then out to calm your nerves. You donât have to help him out with pulling your shorts down, itâs like heâs so experienced that he knows how to get around it without you doing much. Which doesnât help to make you relaxâŠat all. Heâs experienced, and youâre not. Thatâs a cause of a million worries running through your mind at the moment.
The air that had felt so hot earlier, feels cool now, and you shudder a little. âYouâre drenched doll, thatâs cute.â
Beomgyu finally sits himself next to you, hand on his crotch, slowly rubbing it out as he stares at what Yeonjun sees, craning his neck to get a good look. And you feelâŠso exposed, it makes your ears red with a mix of shame and arousal as you squeeze your eyes shut.
You jolt a little when you feel his tongue poking at your entrance through your pantiesâheâs slow as he licks up your slit, soaking your underwear more and more.
âAny of your boyfriends ever eat you out?â Beomgyu asks, hand squeezing his cock through his sweats, before having the genius idea of replacing his with yoursâhis warm hands resting on yours, guiding you to press down harder on his boner. As if heâs showing youâmaking you feel how big he is.
You shake your head to his question, and he airs out a chuckle. God, you really want to slap yourself for finding that so attractive. âOf course. Might as well be a real virgin.â
You want to retort back, you really do, because god forbid Beomgyu have the last word, but it's impossible when Yeonjun hooks his finger to push your underwear to the side because you're a goner, a goner the minute you feel his warm breath on your skin, and even worse when you feel his tongue lapping at your core, the direct contact making you gasp out a moan, jolting you awake, clearing your drunk daze.
"Yeonjun, Yeonjun shit-" you don't mean to tighten your grip on Beomgyu, but you do in response to Yeonjuns stimulation which has him hiss, bucking into your touch.
"Do that again. Harder. Touch me baby, yeah, just like that." He babbles, holding onto your wrist, groaning when you oblige, wrapping your hand on his clothed shaft and squeezing the base.
Yeonjun looks at you through lidded eyes, his hands firmly keeping your legs apart, nose brushing against your clit every so often to tease before he finally decides to flatten his tongue against it, finger prodding at your entrance at the same time, making you inexpectantly arch your back, moaning. "F-fuck Jjun!"
You could feel the smirk, the cockiness radiating off himâ it oozes even, it's so evident he likes this dynamic, you so reactionary to each little thing he does.
Beomgyu helps you palm his dick before he finally relents, too horny out of his mind, shoving your hand down his pants, making you feel his hot dick, so sticky and wet, it's lewd. "'Move your hand baby, c'monnn. Good girl." He groans, trying to guide you to a speed he finds fitting.
You start getting the hang of it, your hand jerking off his dick without help even as you're practically dumbed out with Yeonjun's tongue working at your sex, trying to purposefully make you lose your mind.
âPussy so good doll, so good.â his words muffle against your core and it sends a vibration that has your pace falter.
Suddenly, Yeonjun detaches, making you feel terribly empty, and horrible because you were sure you were close. Before you could complain, your eyes widen at him unbuttoning his jeans, dropping them to the floor to have his cock flinging out of his boxers. He gives it a couple strokes, breathing heavy as he stares at your pussy. Wet with his spit, messy. He groans, biting his lips raw and youâve just never felt so much as a prey until now. âGonna fill you up soon, donât worry doll.â
âPay attention to me too,â Beomgyu whines, kissing your neck again, the space under your earlobe, his teeth grazing against your skin, just begging to have your attention. âUnfair if itâs only him.â he breathes, kissing and kissing and kissing, until he decides to move up to your lips, taking you up a wind as you jerk his dick off faster.
His whines and mewls melt into the sloppiness of the kiss and god is it the hottest thing ever, shit.
Yeonjun basically breaks the kiss by pushing Beomgyu off of you again, and if you had half the mind to think, you wouldâve caught the irritation radiating off Beomgyu at Yeonjuns constant cock blocking.
You canât think now, not when Yeonjunâs lining his dick up with your hole, feeling his hot tip prodding and your pussy fluttering around nothing to suck him in. âReady? Relax yourself so itâll feel good, âkay?â
You nod, humming.
âWords princess.â
âIâmâIâm ready Jjunie.â
He gives you a crooked grin, fingertips digging into the plush of your hips.
You try, you really do, you try giving them both an experience but the more Yeonjun pushes himself in you, the slower your hand becomes until you finally let go, breathing heavy at the inexplicable feeling of justâŠfullness. When heâs flush and snug against your core, completely inside you, he relishes, he stays there, eyes fluttering closed with his face so, so close to yours.
And he whispers to you, words Beomgyu canât possible hear even if he wishes to, and even words you couldâve missed if you werenât so in tune with every single sense that youâre feeling right now.
âWish he wasnât here when I could finally have you.â
Youâre driven over the edge, not even given the time to process, before heâs drilling his dick into youâin then back, slowly before heâs building up to snapping his hips, having you gasp in shock at each thrust. You let the stray tear run down, hell, at this point youâre giving all autonomy of your body to the two boys right now, youâre not in control of anything anymore.
âTight, so tight and warm,â he groans, getting faster, âShoulda prepped you more, huh? Fuckinâ tighter than a virgin, can barely move.â He laughs breathy.
You just nod, nod at whatever filthy shit he says, tightening your grip on the couch, squeezing your eyes shut at how the pain just bleeds into the pleasure. Youâve never had it like this with your past boyfriends, it never felt like this.
Suddenly, you feel something hot poking at your cheek which spurs you to open your eyes. Your eyes damn near almost bulge out at Beomgyuâs size, cock insistently trying to move past your lips.
âWant your mouth, please, fuck.â
Can you even take that in your mouth?
He doesnât wait for your contemplation, thatâs not Beomgyuâs thing. He does it anyway, managing to slide his dick in your mouth, not even letting you get used to it like Yeonjun had even when heâs a lot bigger, pushing all the way in. He throws his head back, groaning curses as you gag around his length, breathing restricted.
âGod youâre so hot like this, princess. Taking my cock so well,â he growls, moving his hips to fuck your mouth. Your eyes water, burning as the taste of him overpowers your sensesâ all of that paired with Yeonjunâs rhythm getting rougher and more frantic has you lose yourself in ecstasy you donât think you can handle.
You think you might just faint.
âHave you always been like this? So good at sucking cock, slutty throat just waiting to be stuffed with dick?â Beomgyu rambles filth, losing himself faster than Yeonjun, looking down at you with so much hunger. You return his gaze, blinking up at him innocently, as if to disagree. Youâre not slutty, you arenât.
But that seems to spur him on a completely different direction, like something snapped inside him, cursing loudly as he ruthlessly starts fucking into your mouth. Your mind clouds, dizziness setting in as you feel Yeonjun attach his lips to your nipple through your flimsy top, sucking harshly, making a mess of your shirt with his spit.
You garble around Beomgyuâs dick, trying to say something but it only comes out intelligible and like complete nonsense, itâs humiliating.
âGod, youâre sucking me in so greedily, want me to fill you up with my cum so bad, huh?â
Yeonjun slaps your ass and you jolt again, snot and mascara running down your face. He starts kneeding your cheeks, snapping into you rougher, and somehow deeper, you fucking lose it. âYou want it so bad, right? Say something baby, or I wonât give it to you.â
You nod, mouth still stuffed with Beomgyuâs cock, who he isnât intent on stopping any time soon.
Itâs enough for Yeonjun you guess because before you know it, you feel hot substance shoot up, filling you to the brim with his cum, still pumping it in even as your orgasm washes over you. Youâre beyond overstimulated, especially when Beomgyu cums around the same time, his hot load forcing its way down your throat.
He holds your head against his abdomen, groaning the more he defills you. âFuck if you do that I might just fall for you,â he growls, voice down octaves, fixating his eyes on how your throat gulps down his cum like itâs water at the Sahara. The taste is so strong, you start coughing up some of it out when his dick flops out of your mouth sticky, finally regaining your breath, gasping for air in large amounts, your cunt spilling Yeonjunâs seed onto the couch slowly, dribbling down to the floor to make a mess.
Beomgyu suddenly pushes Yeonjun out of the way to slot himself between your legs, kissing at your pussy.
âBeomgyu, donât, canâtâstop, too much-â you try reasoning but he doesnât listen, that brat. He just starts going at it, lapping at the cum spilling, his lips glistening with the wetness, alternating between kissing and licking your cunt. ââCourse you can baby, you can take it.â
You bite down hard on your lips, lightheaded as you look down at the man ravaging your pussy and cleaning you up at the same time.
To hell with that ânothingâs going to changeâ bullshit promise, something definitely changed tonight and you canât put your finger around what.
You had been busy all week, so when the weekend came, the excitement of having a chance to spend time with each other made you both silly.
This time Beomgyu was at your house and you realized once again that the house was really empty without him today.
You could have chatted in your bedroom until dawn. It was probably your favorite thing. Both of you would take turns talking about your week; Beomgyu's tragic events with his boss, or your annoying teachers were the most viral topics of your nightly chats.
For you, talking only under the moonlight and the led lights made this activity extra special.
That's why tonight you were sitting in your bedroom, which you had decorated together.
But tonight, something was different.
"Hey, is your alarm going off?" Beomgyu was the first to hear the strange sound coming from under the covers.
"Oh, yeah." You hurriedly found your phone and stopped the stupid sound.
Annoying music is always ideal for alarms.
You smiled at Beomgyu. "I forgot to turn it off." And he smiled back. "My love, are you setting an alarm for this time?" It was funny to him because he had never seen you set an alarm for the night before.
"Yeah, it's just a new way of getting to bed early." you laughed to yourself. "I'm too stubborn to ignore alarms."
"Yeah, I've noticed." He always hid something in that smile. "That's because you're so used to it that instead of turning it off again, you snoozed."
"Oh?" A real laugh this time. "God, I've been so stupid for the last week."
He looked at you as if to say you were cute instead of stupid. You reached for the bedside drawer with the phone in your hand but he stopped you.
"You're gonna cancel the alarm?"
"Yes."
"How many times does the alarm go off before it automatically goes off?"
"Um... I think it's 7?"
"So it's gonna go off 6 more times?"
"Mhm."
"Okay, so how many minutes does the snooze last?"
"Five."
"Good."
"What's on your mind?"
You smiled together, his was much dirtier. "Do you wanna play a game?"
"What kind of game?" asked curiously.
"It's like..." he licked his bottom lip. "Only when the alarm stops going off, you can touch me" whispered. "And I'll touch you."
"Wow."
Your body warmed up to what he was offering you, his little games and his cheekiness.
You realized that the game he was talking about would give you both heaven and hell, he let you think about it. He always liked to start fires.
You crawled towards him, he watched you curiously. Seeing in his eyes the endless desire he had for you. The only good thing about all those stupid days and weeks was that Choi Beomgyu belonged to you.
âI think the second alarm is less than 5 minutes away.â you whispered. Your foreheads touched, fortunately you liked playing with fire as much as he did.
His smile slowly left his face during the whole conversation. He put his hand on your cheek and joined your lips passionately. Your hair caressed his face, your bangs tangled. You listened to the wet sounds of your slow and warm kiss. And his humming.
Sounds were Beomgyu's weak point, he always went wild to hear more.
He bit your lower lip âCome here.â grabbed your hips and helped you sit on his lap.
This time he pressed your tongues together before your lips and you knew he wasn't closing his eyes. His hand moved down into your shorts and touched your bare cheeks. His palm was warm.
Your teeth touched his upper lip. Beomgyu opened his mouth and closed his eyes, letting you bite him as much as you wanted.
You squeezed his hair at the nape of his neck as his right hand slipped between your thighs and reached your pussy. He pressed his middle and ring finger against your hole through the panties and not even a few seconds into feeling that sweet pressure, the annoying sound was heard.
Second alert.
Beomgyu slowly pulled his hand out of your shorts and your whole body trembled with disappointment. You took your hands off him and got off his lap, reached for your phone and snoozed the alarm.
Beomgyu's cheeks were pink, he didn't like the space in his lap, but there was still a smile on his lips. âDo you like it?â
You leaned your back against the headboard and hugged your legs. You watched as he put his fingers to his lips, wet from having just touched your panties.
His cat tongue appeared between his lips, wiped his middle and ring finger nicely and went back inside.
My god. You gulped, looking like he was waiting for an answer to his question.
Really? He followed curiously as your hands moved down to your shorts. You locked your eyes on his as you slowly removed the soft fabric from your legs.
Beomgyu pressed his lips together and immediately looked into your eyes after your shorts fell to the floor. He wasn't smiling anymore, he was just there looking at you with his messy hair and going a little insane.
His eyes widened when your hand went to your hips again. âNo.â Beomgyu growled. But what could stop you?
âY/n...â He watched with his open mouth as your thin black underwear made its slow journey down your legs. Your t-shirt covered your thighs and you licked your lips, ending the show you were putting on for him.
You were happy to do such a good job while wanting his hands all over you. Beomgyu pressed his hand to the bulge in his pants and backed up a little. Cursing silently, closed his eyes and threw his head back.
By now your hands were sweaty and your t-shirt was a rag in your palms, you bit your lower lip excitedly. The sound of your phone letting you know that the stupid time you'd been trying to count in your head over and over again had come to an end.
And God knows, it was the first time you liked that brain-piercing sound so much.
Third alarm.
Beomgyu didn't even let you move. When he was on top of you with a speed you had never seen before, you squeezed his shoulders impatiently, but he wasn't thinking the same thing.
He pulled you down and holding your knees, spread your legs and buried his face in your pussy.
âOh my-â at the end of a hellish five minutes, you regained the warm sensation of his mouth.
âB-beomgyu...â grabbed his hair. He repeatedly opened and closed his mouth over your hole as if his life depended on it.
He was squeezing and lifting your hips and making you settle better in his mouth, he was the best at it.
âMmmâ All those sounds he was making from you as your juices mixed with his saliva, almost making him cum too.
He parted your lips with his fingers and stubbornly pressed his tongue deep inside you. Just like he needed it more than you did.
He lifted his head and watched you drip a little more intensely and looked at that wonderful expression on your face. With his right hand he slapped your pleasure spot hard, âAh!â that made you squirt a little. That's exactly why you felt you couldn't take it anymore when he landed the second slap harder. âBeomgyu, no-â you didn't want to cum right away but you wanted him to make you squirt like crazy.
You got up on your elbows, Beomgyu stuck his tongue out, looking into your eyes as his mouth covered all over your pussy again.
Well, you wouldn't mind coming more than once tonight, would you?
Just as your stomach is trembling with pleasure and you feel one step closer to the high...
Fourth alarm.
"Fuck! Fuck..." you turned toward the phone and snoozed the alarm with a tap, almost as if you wanted to break it.
The sensation of his mouth disappeared. Beomgyu is a total stunner with a dripping chin, teary eyes and red lips.
He put his hands in his messy hair, combed it back and returned to a sitting position on the bed. You could see him panting with rage, pulled his shirt off and threw it on the floor.
It was his idea and you were having fun, but now you can see he hates himself.
As you sat up, Beomgyu turned his head towards you and watched your glistening thighs. His art.
You didn't feel the need to fix your messy hair like he did, just leaned your head back and sighed as your pussy throbbed like crazy.
You took turns looking at his thin bracelet, his hair tucked behind his ear, his naked upper body and the triangle in his pants.
"I hate myself." Beomgyu laughed and made you laugh too. Both laughed at what a sucker you were to each other.
You touched the hair clinging to your neck, only your breathing could be heard in the room. You had never been eaten so savagely by Beomgyu before.
"You're gonna take that off too?" he taunted, knew there was nothing under your shirt. His hand settled on his belt, it was obvious he wished for nothing more than to see you naked. And that you didn't like the space between your legs.
"No." you replied, "This is for you."
Beomgyu laughed, you could see what you had done to his cheeks.
You watched him unbuckle his belt, he didn't just throw it on the floor, he ran his fingers over its surface.
The few scenarios in which he used it on you unfolded as if they had always been there. Pressed your knees together, your vagina, sensitive as hell, made a wet sound and that made Beomgyu turn to you.
You've never seen his eyes so dark before: "Can you do it again?"
The voices...
Swallowed, his eyes were on your knees and thighs, everywhere. Slowly spread your legs and... 'Pop!'
He watched all over your vagina, which was soaked thanks to him, getting a little closer. "You're a fucking goddess." His breath hit your pussy, your eyes watered with desire. "Beomgyu..."
Eyes met, you felt your nipples itch as he smiled at the needy expression on your face.
He stepped back, dropped the belt he was holding and continued to watch you, that smile still on his face. "Your pussy has never tasted anything like this before, has it darling?" licked his lips, looking quite delighted. "Even if I let you sit on my face all night, you wouldn't get tired of dripping, right?"
"Beomgyu-" his dirty words coming out of his still glistening chin made you drip some more on your sheet, you pulled your legs towards you and hid.
"Ahah," Beomgyu laughed, looking down at your writhing body with pleasure. "Even if the fucking alarm doesn't go off, I can make you cum with my words."
You pressed your face into the pillow, Beomgyu followed your movements, wishing he was right behind you now. "You're such a good girl."
Guessed he was pressed against his cock again.
Fifth alarm.
You lifted your face and threw the pillow on the floor, Beomgyu didn't let you break your prone position and settled on top of you. He lifted your hips up and stood behind you, just as he had just imagined.
When his penis finally touched your vagina, you gave him your most beautiful moan ever. Closed your eyes as Beomgyu slowly entered you. All his hardness expanded you, hitting your clit, sliding over your wetness, filling you mercilessly...
Your immediate grip and squeeze caused Beomgyu to fall onto your back. "Ah, ah..." You swallowed almost too well for him to move. He put his hands on top of yours, his hot breath coming in behind your ear. At this point you both forgot about your little game, there was only desire and passion.
Beomgyu introduced you to his fastest tempo, your bodies started pounding against each other. Both of you smeared all your wetness on each other.
Beomgyu was trapped between your walls, forgetting the whole world and making you forget the whole world.
The electric sensation in your stomach again, the sound of the alarm you heard along with Beomgyu's growl, could not be prevented this time.
He reached for your phone and, cursing, turned off the alarm, threw it hard onto the bed. You laughed at the sound the phone made as it slipped over the sheets and landed on the floor.
Eyes closed with passion, Beomgyu returned to rummaging through you. Faster, faster pace.
With great pleasure, your boyfriend broke his own game and made you cum all over him and came deep inside you.
He put his face to your neck, felt the last wave of pleasure as the sound of your breaths fought.
"C-condom-"
"Fuck the condoms."
The taste of fucking with him raw for the first time.*
Beomgyu wrapped his arms around your waist and made you lie on his chest as he lay on his back on the bed. He found your hands, which you made into fists, and took them in his palm.
You've watched the ceiling many times on this bed, but now enjoy watching it as you lie on top of him.
"Did your phone break?"
~
!! do not 'fuck' the condoms, USE the condomsđ!!
àšà§ synopsis. hearing rumours of your sex life travel around your campus for the first time has you standing in front of the very person that youâre convinced is responsible. your secret fuck buddy.
àšà§ warnings. stoner!gyu, bratty sub!beomgyu, mean femdom, humiliation kink, VERY public, hair pulling, hate sex kind of, cunnilingus, use of pet, fuck buddies, reader has a priest dad, bit of a toxic dynamic
âWhyâre you here?â he mumbles casting his eyes down to his feet as he idly skates around, not paying you even a little bit of eye contact or actual acknowledgement.
âCan we talk somewhere else? More private?â
He ignores you.
You huff, rolling your eyes, adjusting the bag on your shoulder. The sun had already set, there were even less people outâno one was skating around at this hour but Beomgyu. âWhyâ" you take a breath, already feeling yourself get emotional and angry, âWhy did you go around telling people about us?â
Thereâs a few reasons circling your head. Attention, bragging rightsâattention was a big one but you hoped, no, a part of you believes it was an accident. That he let the information slip from his lips when he was drunk, or out of his right mind. But with the way heâs acting, itâs getting harder to hold on to the belief that Beomgyu was misunderstood and not just a fucking asshole.
Too much time goes by with silence and you think hes blatantly ignoring you again, but then he halts his skating, taking the time to run a hand through his hair. Hair that youâve regretfully played with days on end, twirling strands around your finger, giggling as if the foundation youâve built your relationship on wasnât such a fragile fire that could be snuffed out in seconds if not the tiniest bit careful.
Look where you are now.
âDunno, âcuz I can.â
His eyes are on you, bangs parted, looking straight at you. You canât get it out of your mind, how the ends of his lips twitched up as he said that. Bitch. Fucking bitch.
He finds this amusing. A game. Your reputation was a game to him. Of course it is. He never took anything serious, not his career, not his relationships, not his futureâhe never cared.
Your nostrils flare as you stomp large strides towards him, charging and shoving his chest, having him stumble backwards off his board, dryly laughing. âThe goody two shoes about to commit an assault?â
âOh fuck off, you wouldnât dare try suing me. God, I hate you so much. Youâre such aâsuch a fucking loser!â you yell.
That wiped off the cocky demeanour.
âHereâs some two cents for you, I couldnât give less of a fuck about whatever this is between us. I really couldnât. But youââ your face gets heated up, pointing a finger at him. âYou will never find anything better than what I gave you. And youâre going to live with that.â
He scoffs like heâs unbothered but itâs so clear with the way he clenches his jaw afterwards heâs pissedâit hit a spot. Good. Good, let him be hurt.
âWhat do you evenâwhat did you gain by telling everybody my sex life? Having people call me a slut? Some sick pleasure from being superior to me for once? Attention? Huh? Whyâre you acting out now?â Your eyes are narrowed as they implore answers out of him, searching his face and eyes, anything, anything that you can read from his unbearable silence.
âYeah.â
You blink confused. âWhat?â
âYeah, I wanted the attention. Happy now?â He walks to shoulder you but you let out a scoff, holding him back by his arm and pushing him in front of you again.
âYou canât for one second act like a man can you? You just run away from everything!â you feel like you could rip out your hair with how frustrating hes being.
âIf youâre just going to stand there and insult me like a bitch I might as well just go and do something fucking productive.â he spits.
Your cheeks heat up and you think for the first time you understand the phrase of seeing red. Hes been poking and poking and poking with his nonchalance then later smugness then going onto just straight up disrespectâhe was really pushing you. So he shouldâve expected the hand that goes to strike him against his faceâyour chest rising up and down, brows furrowed deeply.
A faint red hand print blooms across his cheek, and his jaw falls slack, eyes blown out and wide. You suddenly grab him by the back of his hair, no doubt burning his scalp with the way he lets out a loud hiss. âI fucking hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.â
Youâre so close to his face and everything about the way heâs looking at you gives you the chills. You hate him. You do. Heâs insane, heâs selfish, heâs rude, heâsâ
A shaky lopsided grin still manages to break from his face, âNo you donât.â
And that was your last straw.
The addictive nature about Beomgyu is what kept you coming back over and over againâhe never lead, he just let youâŠtake him. And sometimes, at a point of your life where you feel like everythings being controlled for you, not having the choice to make the decisions you like, this somewhat served as an outlet.
Thatâs the moreâŠreasonable explanation.
The other explanation is simple. Heâs so fucking sexy.
The way he still melts into a kiss so harsh and mean, attempting to cup your cheeks, but immedietely dropping it when he feels your disapporval, his whimpers already picking up, not taking any incentive to breathe as if this kiss was enough to keep him alive; itâs those little things that have you up in the middle of the night thinking about him. Him.
Beomgyu, the stereotypical bad-boy stoner hipster outcastâthe antithesis of everything present in your picture perfect lifeâhe keeps you up at night. The mix of weed and his hilariously bad attempt at covering it with febreeze and cologne wafts your scent, it overwhelms you, but you still canât get enough. Everything annoying about him disappears when heâs touching you.
âWhy? Why do you keep doing this?â you say, finally being able to pull away from himâonly after you had jerked on his hair harsher.
His lips are swollen, red and glisteningâhe looks pretty like this. He really does. But those lips always end up saying something to piss you off. âKeep doing what? Letting everyone know how you really are? Not actually the good girl you pretend to be, huh.â
You donât know if heâs goading you on purpose because he likes it rough, or if heâs just being an asshole in general. It doesnât matter. If heâs going to act like a brat, heâll get treated like one.
Your knuckles had turned white with how hard you were gripping his hair so it feels relieving when you finally let it go. He tries to lean in to chase after your lips again, but you have your hands on his chest to stop him.
The flash of panic in his eyes when you step back from him is hilarious, it really is. It tells you everything you need to know. He wants you. He really wants you. He doesnât care if you hit him or ruin his life, he wants you.
If his next words are any indication. âHey, hey what are you doing? Where are you going?â
You walk to sit on a step of the stairs. âDo you think Iâm a slut? Is that why you thought you had the audacity? Surely because otherwise if you respected me you wouldnât have spread those rumors about me.â
He huffs out a laugh, the biggest reaction youâve gotten out of him so far. He also walks to get closer to you. âWhat the fuck is wrong with you? You havenât even come up with one single reason that would paint me in a better light. You really do see me as a fucking douchebag loser.â Heâs clearly getting emotional with the way his voice gets higher pitched, the nonchalant front cracking, his lips slightly trembling.
âBecause thatâs what you are. Douchebag. Loser. Youâre. A. Loser. Choi Beomgyu.â
You can see his fists clench at his sides, tight lipped. If you knew any better, you think he mightâve just started crying, but youâre not interested in tears. You angle your feet to point to the ground, âOn your knees.â
He only hesitates for a second, he only stands there staring at you for a second, only a second before he crumbles and does as you say, getting on his knees in front of you, between your legs. âCloser.â
âBut-"
âBut what?â Your skirts already half way ridden up and you stare him down, keeping your eye contact intense.
âWeâre in p-public. Anyone can see.â
You know hes blushing when you see the tips of his ears peek out, bright red. Aw, heâs nervous? Embarrassed? Shy?
âYouâre never seeing me after this Choi. Make of it what you can or piss off.â
His eyes widen comically at that. âWhat? What does that mean? Are you leaving me?â
You canât decipher or understand why exactly hes so surprised but you shake it off, you donât want your good time to be spoiled. Not when your underwearsâ already sticking to your pussy seeing him on his knees, on the ground, with his ripped baggy jeans, no doubt a pavement burn getting to him. âAre you going to eat me out or should I get up and leave?â
He shakes his head vehemently, hands on your knees spreading your legs. âSorry, âm sorry. Donât leave. Gonna make you feel good, promise.â
Heâs already rambling like heâs dumbed out, like heâs about to be a goner. But heâs still hesitant in his actions and you groan, throwing your head back. âWhat the fuck Beomgyu?â
A pout rests on his lips, âIââŠI donât want anyone seeing you..â
You think heâs giving a fuck for your decency, you think its about you for once. But then another thought pops up in your head and your lips twitch. Itâs not for you. Itâs for him. He doesnât want any possible pedestrian to see what only him so far has been able to see.
This isnât worth it.
You make an attempt to get up before Beomgyu immediately has you sit back down, wasting no time to press his face between your legs, skirt over his head. His tongue pokes out to lick on over your panties, gradually wetting it and you sigh, the tenseness of your body evaporating. âYeah, thats it. Be good for me pup.â He whines at that.
Beomgyu doesnât tease any longer the moment your hands go to grab his hair because suddenly he bunches your panties to the side and you feel the contact of his hot tongue on your cunt, already lapping away like a dog. Dumb dog. Dumb dog. Dumb dumb dumbâbut shit heâs having you curl your toes at the speed heâs going, the way he moans against your pussy like hes somehow enjoying eating you out more than you are.
âYouâre my toy, nothing else. But you just keepâyou keep irritating me, you keep being a dick, you keep provoking me.â you breathe out, tightening your fistful of his hair in your hand, making his moans even louder, nuzzling closer in your pussy you think he might genuinely suffocate at this point. But knowing him, heâd probably like that. âGod, you absolute loser.â
He whines something intelligible, wet eyes looking up at you with his brows pulling upâit makes you gasp as you bite down on your bottom lip. Heâs so pretty itâs unfair. Whyâs such a sinful person so pretty? God must really have the time of his life making this hell for you.
You take it upon yourself to lift yourself a bit, grinding on his face harder, trying to reach your high, obstructing your view of his faceâeven with the anxiety of doing this so out in the open resting at the pit of your stomach. Heâs practically mewling in your pussy, and the sounds send vibrations, his nose bumping up your clit every now and then. He lets you use him, he just lets you.
When Beomgyu fully submits like this to youâŠyou see stars, you come hard. âMoreâŠmoreâ, he groans, licking up your arousal. Itâs so dirty, it really is, but you canât help but nod.
Having the skater eat you out till your legs were jelly at a skatepark late at night would surely guarantee your place in hell.
âYouâre such a whore, letting me fuck your face like this babyâdonât soil your pants yet, I know how you get. Probably getting off at the fact that weâre out l-like thisâŠh-hahâdirty, dirty boy.â
He shakes his head, the glistening sweat of his forehead and the matted strands on his temple proof of how hard hes really going at it. âNot dirty. Just wanâ your attention..â
The second you tut at him for stopping he immedietely dives back inâyou donât know if itâs more him being afraid of a punishmet or because he himself doesnât want to stop. Never mind that, because now hes wrapping his pretty lips around your clit and youâre fucking losing your mind with how quick your head clouds.
There are so many things circling your head right now. And this always happens whenever he starts talking during a hook up. Yes, it helps you get to an edge even faster but its for all the wrong reasons. Heâd dirty talk for a bit before switching up, and suddenly all of his words are loving and cute and adorable and, and thatâs bad. When you see him other than the image heâs curated for himselfâthatâs when you start feeling the unfamiliar butterflies fluttering.
You donât like it. Heâs not good for you.
âStop thinking, only focus on me.â You gasp, your fingers digging into his tangled hair, disheveling it even more. Only him.
He makes you orgasm again, and when you catch your breath you gently push his head away, then harder when he canât seem to stop kissing your inner thighs. He sighs, dropping it, but not without giving you one last puppy plea. You avoid his eyes, pulling your panties up and scoping around the area, all of a sudden feeling exposed. Did you really just let this punk eat you out on a staircase?
You stand up, dusting your ass, taking note of the redness of his knees and the large wet patch in between his crotch when Beomgyu follows, getting up from his knees, wiping his ridiculously wet lips. You tuck a strand behind your ear as you awkwardly stand, thinking over what youâre going to say now.
Weâre over, bye.
Iâll go home now, donât call me.
I hope you know how bad you messed up. Bye.
Iâm blocking you on everything so donât even think of contacting me.
âDonât leave me.â
âŠThat has you snap out of your reverie.
His voice is low, no doubt vulnerable. This is the worst. This is bad. Shit.
You clear your throat. âWhy? Why shouldnât I? Even if I didnât want to Iâd have toâŠmy dad knows about you now because of the little stunt you pulled and he definitely doesnât approve of you.â You mumble the last part, crossing your arms and keeping your distance. But thatâs not of any use when he steps forward every time you take a step back.
âIâmââ He runs a hand through his hair again, clearly frustrated. And you donât understand why, does he really operate life thinking there arenât consequences to his actions? If he didnât want to stop this so bad whyâd he tell people about your relationship when you explicitly told him not to? âWe canâwe can do it in secret like we did this entire time. He doesnât have to know.â
You sigh, also frankly frustrated. âBeomgyu! Why canât you just-"
Suddenly youâre in his embrace, engulfing you so gently and yet the desperation in it couldnât have been any more tighter. âPlease, please donât leave me. Iâm sorry. IâllâIâll really do everything you want, Iâll be your toy, your pet, whatever shit youâre intoâjust donât leave me."
You really shouldnât give in. You really, really shouldnât.
But then he nuzzles into your neck, mumbling with that slight whiny drawl in his tone, âIâll be your good boy, I promise. Wonât misbehave anymore.â
Of course you give in. Again.
àšà§ note. honestly donât know where this came from, i was just making up backstory as i was writing. literally only had one thought and one thought only, what if sub!bad boy x dom! good girl? and that was the small attempt made here lol, i love hearing any feedback or even a theory or two concerning the storyâs world as i might explore these characters again đ
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paring: emo vinyl store worker ! beomgyu x vinyl collector ! reader
Warnings: sub! beomgyu, dom! reader, choking !!!! grinding, riding, creampie, handjob, hair pulling, nipple play, degrading, fucking in a record store but thereâs no one there, beomgyu has his nipples pierced and a thigh tattoo hehe and also his eyebrow pierced bc why not heâd look so fine
Word count: 3.7k
With your crippling vinyl collection addiction, you ticked off yet another record store on your list with a sigh, making your way to the next using trusty google maps and a determined gaze.
So far, you hadnât been able to find your favourite band, Red Jellyfishâs vinyl in any of the stores youâd been in and youâd made it your sole mission to check out every single record store in your city in hopes of finding it to add to your ever growing collection.
It wasnât the most financially stable hobby, yes, what with some records being so unreasonably pricey these days. And yes, technically you could listen to the albums for free online anytime instead. But that defeated the purpose! They just wouldnât get the satisfying feeling of owning a shelf of your own physical music and whenever you added more to it. Also, music just sounded so much better spinning around on a record player in your bedroom and adding to the nostalgic ambience and aesthetic. It simply made you content.
Obtaining Red Jellyfish currently, however, was serving as a difficult task. It was always the case with more obscure bands but it just made it more riveting trying to find vinyls for them.
You arrived at the next, walking in and the arrays of endless records welcoming you, the place had a funky 70s vibe to it and was decorated as so with a cool layout. You noticed a listening booth, unusual to have in most record shops nowadays and this one was also unusually large, serving more as a separate small room with a record player and sofas so customers could have a listen. You loved listening booths and this definitely was a very cool record store. Youâd be coming in again for sure.
Your thoughts are quickly dissipated, however, at the sight of the very cute worker stood behind the counter. You stop in your tracks and find yourself unable to look away, the purpose of why you actually came in the first place long forgotten.
He was unbelievably attractive with a long, shaggy wolfcut and bangs that half covered his eyes, adorned with an eyebrow piercing that added to his emo-esque look, sporting an oversized band shirt and baggy jeans and he had the most prettily sculpted features ever. The bottom of his soft brown eyes underlined ever so slightly with black eyeliner making his gaze rather intimidating.
âHey, do you need any help?â
That snaps you back from your reverie and you jolt, unsure how long you were just weirdly observing him.
âHuh? OhâŠno. Just lookingâŠ.â Wow, even his voice was really nice.
He raises his pierced eyebrow at that and a knowing smile breaks onto his face. âYeah? At what exactly? Vinyls or someone?â He bursts into laughter then and you feel your cheeks heat up, cocky and confident waves radiating off of him. Oh, he knew he was hot.
âW-what? No!â You scoff and clear your throat, embarrassed.
He chuckles still and beams at you, brushing his bangs away from his face with his hands, rings scattered on some of his fingers. God, even his hands were attractive. âUh huh. But seriously, Would you like any assistance? It is my job after all.â
âWell actually,â You clear your throat and straighten your posture, attempting to play it cool and forget, you were still on a mission, you must not get side tracked by pretty boys. âyou wouldnât happen to have the band Red Jellyfish would you?â
His eyes light up almost immediately, âNo way! I love Red Jellyfish. Iâve never come across another fan before! And we certainly do.â He grins and disappears into the back, soon arriving with the vinyl in hand and excitedly handing it to you, âTheyâre finally coming out with a second album after years. Iâm so excited!â
âSame. I didnât think theyâd ever end up making music again after how long their hiatus was.â You enthusiastically agree, happy to find someone who also shared a liking for the band.
âWouldnât really take you to listen to emo music to be honest...â The cute emo boy looks you up and down, referring to your not so dark and edgy outfit and heâs grinning again.
âYeah well, I guess you could say I have a pretty eclectic music taste.â You shrug, rolling your eyes jokingly at him. âAlthough I'm not really well versed on emo music besides that.â
You notice his big brown eyes beam even more with excitement, beginning to talk animatedly. âYou should definitely listen to more. Itâs great and it has a lot of range and sub genres and thereâs some really good bands and! And-â He rubs the back of his head sheepishly and stops himself, seemingly embarrassed. âSorry, you just want to pay for your album and go.â He smiles apologetically at you and presses buttons on the cash register instead to calculate the price for you.
You shake your head and laugh, finding it more so endearing. "No. In fact, youâve convinced me. Iâll definitely get into it more and listen to some bands. I wouldnât know where to start though.â He was super cute. Youâd let him talk your ear off all day to be honest.
His eyes turn into little crescent moons at that as he smiles broadly and you canât help swooning internally once again. âOoh I definitely have to give you some recs and make you a playlist! Whatâs your number?â
Thatâs how you find yourself squealing after leaving the store and not only managing to obtain the album youâd been extensively searching for, but also the very, very hot emo boy workerâs number. Youâll be telling your friend Soobin for sure all about it.
The emo boy indeed had a name, you'd discovered after exchanging numbers, Beomgyu, heâd told you. And you hadnât been able to get the name out of your head ever since.
Him making a playlist for you didnât really mean anything, he was just giving recommendations and being nice and friendly. But still, youâll allow yourself to be a bit delusional about it. It was still a cute boy making a playlist for you! Even if it was pretty impersonal.
Later on into the night you receive a text that makes you giddy all over.
Hey, itâs Beomgyu ! We met earlier at the record shop. I made the playlist of emo recs already hehe :) let me know what u think ;)
Along with the text was a Spotify link to the playlist and you end up spending your whole night just listening to it.
As you got to know the genre better. You appreciated it a lot more and found you actually liked a lot of the songs, particularly the more screamo ones. The screaming and whining itched your brain and you were fascinated how much vocal control they had to be able to scream yet sing at the same time. You make a mental note of all your favourites and decide to tell him in person, since itâd give an excuse to see him again.
You walk to the store the next day and you're glad to see him behind the counter and not someone else. âI listened to all the songs. They were really good.â
âAlready?â He raises his brow in surprise to see you again, lopsided grin on his face and head tilted.
âWellâŠyeah?â You scratch your head. You donât why you feel slightly embarrassed about that.
Beomgyu leans over the counter excitedly, âWhich ones did you like?â Suddenly, a vinyl album comes full swinging at Beomgyu and smacks the back of his head hard. You stand, astonished.
âOww! What the fuck?â Beomgyu rubs his poor head in attempt to soothe it and turns around to the suspect.
"You better be working and not talking your ass off, Choi Beomgyu!!" His manger, yeonjun, you observe from his tag comes into view and stands with narrowed eyes at him.
âIâm taking a break!â Beomgyu waves with his hand, trying to shoo him away so he could continue his conversation with you.
âYou just started your shift?!!â
âSo! 9-5s are hardâŠâ Beomgyu pouts and looks at you as if to back him up.
Yeonjun shakes his head, hand to his nose bridge, "You know I'd fire you right?"
"You wouldn't because you love me. And Iâm your best friend." Beomgyu proudly smirks to him.
"Debatable..." Yeonjun sighs defeatedly and walks off to restock a shelf instead, beomgyu completely ignoring him and going back to the conversation with you.
After that, you become close friends with the boy, frequenting the vinyl shop for records, but mostly an excuse just so you could converse with him. You seem to develop a music rec relationship, sharing playlists and recommending each other songs and then giving your own opinions to each other.
To be honest, getting to hangout with beomgyu like that was the highlight of your days and youâd grown to like him a lot. He was fairly easy going and nice to talk to, even if the conversation fell short on your side given you werenât that socially competent, he always managed to keep it going and you loved hearing his funny ramblings and stories heâd passionately go on about. You found a lot of what he did just so endearing.
He was also a massive flirt. And it seemed you werenât the only person who noticed just how hot the boy behind the counter was as a lot of the times you were there, girls were batting their eyelashes up at him and coming into the store just to flirt with him too. You didnât blame them. He'd flirt with you from time to time as well but you tried not to dwell too much on it, figuring it was simply just his personality.
Even if you were just probably friends, you were happy to have gained a friendship anyway. He brought colour into your usual mundane day to day living and you hadnât made a new genuine friend in so long, something that was seemingly rarer the more you got into adulthood. And so, you just appreciated the friendship. Even if he you had developed the teeniest crush on him. Well, probably more than that.
Soobin had been nagging you for days on end about wanting to see this beomgyu guy for himself you'd talk about and doubting that he was so fine like you say, that you end up giving in and dragging him along to the record store with you as well one day.
Upon seeing you walk in, Beomgyu's eyes light up happily, resembling that of a puppy seeing their owner finally arriving back home and he smiles...then he sees the tall guy following in behind you and his demeanour suddenly changes, head tilted and frowning, lips more in a pout.
Once you walk up to the counter with a vinyl Soobin wanted, beomgyu stares coldly and cautiously for a rather strange time at the tall blonde innocently sipping on his boba tea besides you and eventually speaks up. "Is he like, your...boyfriend?"
Soobin splutters and chokes on his drink and both of you wave your hands in a frenzy, "No!"
"Oh!" And he's back to his usual cheery self, smiling contently, a bit unsettling to both you and soobin as you exchange a wary look. "Yeah. Itâs good he isnâtâŠâ Beomgyu stares back at soobin with a look of such distaste and disgust.
You leave the store after paying not without trying to reassure a grumbly Soobin who looked like he was about to throw hands any second. âWhat did he mean it's good he isn't?!â He mocks beomgyuâs voice and scoffs. âI feel offended! Is he saying Iâd make a bad boyfriend?! He doesnât like me? Well I donât like him. Bitch.â
You sigh, patting your frowning friend on the back, not sure what else to say at the strange interaction.
Finally, the day Red Jellyfishâs album drops arrived and although it took absolutely everything in you not to listen to it instantly, both you and beomgyu had promised each other youâd listen together in the listening booth after his shift. So the day seems to drag on and on as you anticipate and waited for the evening when beomgyu would at last finish.
You zoom to the store when itâs finally time, seeing him tidying and closing up. You sit down onto the orange funky sofa in the listening booth as beomgyu placed the album into the record player before taking a seat next to you, both holding in your breath as the first track plays, and then swapping an excited glance with widened eyes to each other as soon as the guitar melody starts playing and the bass also comes in, both remaining silent as you enjoy the song and listen attentively to what was going on. It was already so sick.
Once it ends you both excitedly gush over the new song before the second tracks rolls on. Itâs a lot slower and more dreamy and ambient. The guitar distorted and playing a pretty rolling arpeggio and giving off the genre of a more shoegaze piece.
You stare at beomgyuâs concentrated face and he stares back. He really is so gorgeous, the pretty song seemingly reflecting this as you canât help but admire him. You canât help it either when your eyes flicker to his seriously pretty rounded lips for a second, wondering what itâd feel like to have them pressed with yoursâŠ
It seems it doesnât go unnoticed by beomgyu either as he shuffles even closer to you, his scent intoxicating you as he grins smugly, looking down at your own lips that has you malfunctioning. He tucks in a strand of your hair behind your ear, still gazing and corners of his mouth pulling up, smiling at you.
Thereâs this underlying tension and the album youâd been heavily anticipating for months, the last thing on your mind, dissolving into background noise as the only thing you can think of is beomgyu and how close he is to you. Itâs hard to hold back anymore.
He inches closer and closer and he kisses you. Finally kisses you, and you melt into the kiss with him, making out fervently.
He pulls you into his lap, gripping your waist and tracing kisses on your neck instead that makes you gasp. âCouldnât help it anymoreâŠso pretty. Always make my day whenever you come in.â Beomgyu whispers lowly, brushing his lips lightly against your ear which makes you shiver and the corners of his mouth curl into that stupid grin youâve seen many times.
But then you decide to roll your hips against his and grind against his cock in his jeans and he falters instantly, mouth parting âoâ shaped and he whimpers high pitched, so unlike him. His ears and cheeks flush red and your movements stop. âS-shit sorry. Did I ruin it? That was really weird, fuck. Sorry.â Beomgyu averts your gaze, apologising profusely and embarrassed, bottom lip quivering slightly you notice. His whole demeanour changes. Youâve only ever seen beomgyu embarrassed a short handful of times, usually so sure of himself, but it only makes you go more crazy for him.
âWanna act all tough but thatâs all it takes and itâs all crumbling down, huh?â You grin, finding the boy and the way heâs shying underneath you suddenly so amusing. He still doesnât make eye contact, cheeks even more impossibly red, âLook at me, baby.â You lift his chin up, seeing the way he reacts to the pet name, his eyes slightly widening.
âNo. Donât want to. Too embarrassed.â Beomgyu pouts cutely, you chuckle and coo at him, stroking his cheek which he leans into. You begin to grind against him again and take the lead in kissing him, his hands shaking and gripping your waist even tighter as he attempts to stifle his whimpers, eyes tightly shut. You kiss and suck down his neck as well, determined to leave hickeys in their wake. Youâre surprised by how easily he submits to you. You like it a lot.
You pull the oversized band shirt he wears over his head and unzip his ripped jeans. The sight your met with however making you audibly gasp, his pink nipples prettily pierced through and the top of his plush thigh tattooed in a pattern of a heart and lines branching out like thorns. It makes you even more feral.
Gripping the pretty flesh of his tatted thigh, you begin to jerk off his cock which was flushed and leaking precum anyway as he waited for you to do something. He whines and moans into your ear as you pump your hand up and down on his length, head buried deep in your neck.
You can feel his heavy breaths and the drool on you and his whole body twitches and squirms when you place your free hand on one of his nipples instead, rolling the bud in your fingers and twisting which elicits a strangled moan out of him, clinging to you even tighter when you ruthlessly pump his cock, thumb toying with the slit on the head of dick and also still toying with his now puffy nipples. You can feel the drool dribble down your neck now. And you know heâll cum any second, added ministrations on his pretty tits not helping him from restraining at all, so sensitive especially ever since he got them pierced.
âF-fuckk..hah..Please. Can I cum?â He removes his head from your neck to look up at you with wet doe eyes. Heâs so unexpectedly pliant in your hands, youâd give him anything if he looked up at you like that. And so you do, allowing him to cum, he whines loudly and squirts making a pretty mess, cum coating his tattoo on his thigh.
Youâre not anywhere near done with him yet though and you hover over his dick, bringing the head to slide over your entrance and folds a few times before you sink completely down on his wet and sticky cock. Beomgyu throws his head back and groans, biting his lip hard at the feeling of his cock inside your warm pussy and you begin to slowly ride him, sucking in air loudly.
âMmh fuck pull my hair too. Itâs okay I like it rough-ah s-shit. Can take anything you give meâ Beomgyu stutters and throws an arm over his head, eyebrows deeply furrowed.
So you tug and pull at the strands of his long hair and tangle and run your hands in his scalp, it makes him moan even louder, looking absolutely in bliss, you could tell just how much he liked his hair being pulled and pull with even more force, his eyes glazing up and mind all mushy and hazy now as you continued to fuck him and tug on his scalp. He looked so slutty and you canât help telling him.
âSuch a slut.â He just whines loudly in response. âYou like being called a slut, huh? Wanna be my toy, my pet, my slut?
âY-yeah-ah so good-holyy s-shitâ He just nods vigorously, so dumbed out at this point, jaw hanging dumbly open. âW-wait squeeze my neck please.âŠâ
You didnât think beomgyu would be such a freak either.
âAre you sure, beomgyu?â
He strenuously nods and begs you. âYeahh..need it please. I can take anything.â He gently takes your hand on his own and brings it to press down on his neck. He still stares at you with his big round brown eyes. It was honestly a confusing juxtaposition, the way he looked at you innocently whilst asking you to do something so obscene as choking him.
You squeeze his pretty neck either way and watch as he hisses and his face scrunches up gorgeously, veins in his neck popping out and grunting, you fuck him ruthlessly bouncing on his cock and the squelching so loud and clear and evident despite the music still playing on the record player.
You canât help feeling possessive over him, finally having him beneath you, all yours to use, remembering all the girls that come in everyday to flirt with him and you get to have him all to yourself . Imagine the look on their faces if they could see beomgyu right now, your hands still lightly squeezing his neck and riding him. You kinda wish you could mark him all over.
âH-harderâŠchoke me harderâ Beomgyu gulps.
It makes your pace on his cock even faster and so rough and you press down on his neck ever harder. His jaw clenches, neck and face red and eyebrows furrowed. He gasps for air, letting out the prettiest loud and whiny breathy noises.
His breath hitches with every unrelenting bounce on his cock and he struggles to breathe, eyes heavy lidded and so fucked out, a distant look on his face, you press down just a little bit more on his neck and his eyes roll to back of his head, a long strangled high pitched moan coming out of him as he bucks his hips up and convulses, spurting heaps of his cum inside you and it brings you over the edge too. He canât stop cumming it seems, shaking and endlessly panting and still squirting inside you as you basically milk him. You can see the red imprint of your hand on his pretty neck along with the numerous hickeys you left, it was definitely a sight to see.
It takes a while for beomgyu to recover from his high after how good you fucked him but he eventually speaks up, clinging to you. âSooo, I got two tickets to see red jellyfishâŠWould you possibly want to go with me?â He grins and pants, biting his lip, still out of breath and bangs damp from sweat, pierced eyebrow raised and head tilted as he waited your answer.
You chuckle wrapping your arms around him tightly, kissing him again. âIâd love to.â
Please actually reblog !!!!!! and leave comments !!!! guys đ if you like the fic. Itâs really appreciated and so nice tysm !<3đđđ·đ·! Itâs incredibly discouraging and irriating when fics have such little reblogs âčïž. At least send an anon in the inbox if you donât want to rb, donât just like. Feedback is always appreciated it make writers want to actually write :)
A/n: this is probably really messy bc I havenât proof read. Writerâs block is actually so hard đđ
genre: angst, smut, ex-bestfriends to lovers, ex bff!beomgyu, musician!beomgyu, mutual (unknown) pining, fluff if you squint, non-idol!au, alcohol/drinking
synopsis: two years ago, you admitted to yourself that you were in love with your bestfriend beomgyu. two years ago, you and your bestfriend beomgyu stopped being bestfriends. now heâs an up and coming musician and you see his face and hear his music almost everywhere in your local city; not knowing that the songs he writes are about you.
warnings: tipsy sex (consensual), soft sex basically, lots of yearning, unprotected sex (wrap it then tap it), oral (f. rec), kinda service top!beomgyu, slight overstimulation (m. rec), beomgyu is really just catering to y/n, some hair pulling (m. rec), multiple orgasms, creampie, petnames (baby), aftercare
word count: 9.3kâv-day event masterlistâmasterlist
a/n: based off donât delete the kisses by wolf alice and part three of my v-day event! i didnât mean for this to be 9.3k omg. be glad i didnât have the party hosted by jackson wang lmao.. sorry if the lyrics are kinda bad i am nawt a songwriter (thereâs no like certain tune to them so reading them regularly is fine)! this beomgyu is the one i was imagining in this (heâs sooo fucking pretty). i hope you enjoy! âĄ
two years ago, you admitted to yourself that you were in love with your bestfriend beomgyu.
it was a jarring realization; realizing that youâve been harboring these slowly growing feelings for him all this time. it was as if one day the house was empty and the next all of the furniture and decorations were displayed and put up. like beomgyu had lived in the recesses of your mind all this time and youâve never even known.
your acceptance was gradual, mainly because you had buried yourself in your studies along with beomgyu so you didnât spend as much time together as you both would have wanted. he was studying music, his passion since before youâve even known him, and you were studying writing. beomgyu was working on his debut ep and you were working on your debut novel.
you had noticed it when you started to realize how much the love interest in your novel reminded you of him. and then how much of your love interest actually was beomgyu, down to similarities in their physical description. it was a moment that beomgyu himself was present for, surprisingly.
beomgyu was sitting on your couch, strumming chords lightly and humming softly to himself as he polished up one of the songs he was writing. you were in the corner of the room at your desk, proofreading the chapter you had just written. a gasp had left your lips as you stared wide eyed at the bright white screen in front of you.
the strumming abruptly stopped as beomgyu turned to you, âwhat is it?â you bit down on your bottom lip as you read the paragraph over and over again. you saw him shift in the corner of your eye and knew he was about to come and see for himself. quickly, you changed the tab to the one that held your outline. âitâs nothing,â you turned, smiling over at him. âjust realized that i accidentally created a huge plot holeâŠâ beomgyu chuckled before returning back to his song.
that night, you had read over everything youâve written so far in a flurry. beomgyu was everywhere in your novel. from the main character to the side characters to the love interest. there was no escaping him.
âshit,â you muttered as you trailed a hand down your face, throwing your laptop onto your bed as you got up to get a drink from the kitchen. tiptoeing past beomgyuâs room in your shared apartment, you reached the kitchen quietly, hopeful that you didnât somehow wake him.
turns out that was pointless since beomgyu was leaning against the counter, eyes trained on you. you jumped and threw a hand against your chest. âwhy arenât you asleep?!â you whisper-yelled, even though there was no need since it was only the two of you in the apartment. beomgyu grinned, putting the cup he was holding to his lips, âwhy arenât you?â he spoke softly as well and you walked over to join him.
beomgyu shined hazily in the orange stove light and you took a sip from the glass of alcohol you poured as you looked at him. the two of you stood there for a moment, quietly taking in each otherâs presence.
âso why are you awake? itâs almost four in the morning,â beomgyu asked quietly as he broke the silence. you looked towards the living room and took another sip from your glass. âi was proofreading⊠you?â you asked, looking back to him. âsongwriting,â beomgyu responded. you hummed, nodding a little. âwanna hear what i have so far?â he then asked. you nodded more and he led you to his room.
beomgyuâs laptop was open on his bed, all kinds of cords connected to it. his guitar was strewn across it, like he had tossed it on his bed haphazardly in frustration. beomgyu picked the guitar up and sat it back on itâs stand near the wall. sitting on his bed, he patted the spot next to him so you could join. then, he put the headphones over your head and pressed play on his laptop.
music traveled through your ears. it was just the instrumental, but already you could tell how beautiful the song was gonna be. you looked over at him, a proud smile on your face when suddenly you heard his voice. it was only soft background vocals, the ones that you could barely make out, but it sounded heavenly. when the music ended, your smile stretched from ear to ear and you raised your hands to cover it. âthat was beautiful, beomgyu! seriously!â
he gave you an unsure look, âis it? iâm not really sure about it. i feel like it might mess with the flow of the epâŠâ you shook your head rapidly, the headphones almost coming off. âno you have to keep it, itâs amazing! itâs gonna be even better once you add your voice.â
beomgyu beamed as he took in your words. âi gotta hear it again,â you grinned, pressing play on the laptop. you faintly heard beomgyuâs laugh behind the music.
you would give anything for all of your nightsâor early morningsâto be exactly like this. the two of you here together, side by side. laughing together and sharing your passions together. to stay with beomgyu until the very end.
two years ago, you and your bestfriend beomgyu stopped being bestfriends.
just like you admitting and realizing your feelings for him, it was sudden. as sudden as storm clouds slowly passing over the sky and the fury of rain could be. it was late morning and the two of you were on your couch; beomgyuâs guitar in his lap and you sitting next to him as he strummed. he was playing one of the finished songs he had written, the one he had written for you. beomgyu had called it âgraze.â
âher hair glowed in the sunlight as she grazed past me; like a leaf on a tree branch of a tree iâll never see. over the canopy, itâs each other that we always seem to miss. when the darkness seals me in itâs cold maze, she sends me her remembrances in the form of a kiss,â you sung the lyrics together. beomgyu smiled warmly at you.
beomgyu had given you some insight into the lyrics he had written. the first part, âher hair glowed in the sunlight as she grazed past me; like a leaf on a tree branch of a tree iâll never see. over the canopy, itâs each other that we always seem to miss,â was about the day you had first spoken. it was senior year of highschool and the two of you were paired together on a project. you were meeting somewhere to work on it, but you accidentally walked past the meeting place, completely passing by beomgyu unaware.
the next part, âwhen the darkness seals me in itâs cold maze, she sends me her remembrances in the form of a kiss,â is when the two of you had gotten close; close enough to share secrets and comfort each other through the thoughts they consumed. everytime the two of you texted, you would end the conversation off with an âxxx.â kisses. it had become your thing with beomgyu, so much so that he wrote it into his song.
when the song had ended, beomgyu suddenly perked up. âlet me show you the song iâve been working on! the one i showed you the other day,â he exclaimed. he started strumming chords, humming softly as he began the song. âi only have, like, one lyric for it right now,â he interjected as he continued strumming.
âtoo powerful to overtake, oh, youâve grown all over my mindâŠâ beomgyu sang to the tune of his guitar. your smile faltered, but you managed to put it back in tact as beomgyu glanced up from his guitar to ask for your opinion. it was a love song he was writing. a love song for someone that wasnât you.
âitâs beautiful, like all of your songs are. i like the new addition! how long have you been working on it?â you smiled, though it didnât quite reach your eyes. beomgyu began to blush as he turned to set his guitar aside, moving his hair over his ears. the tips of them were red. âfor a little bit now. i just canât seem to find the words of the feelings i want to convey,â he replied.
your glass heart shattered, itâs pieces making its way into your bloodstream. piercing pieces dug into beomgyuâs skin. âwhoâs the lucky person?â you asked, swallowing hard. he turned back to you and smirked. âjust someone iâve known for a while... i think weâre really starting to hit it off!â
after that day, you started to distance yourself from beomgyu. at first, it was only your feelings. limiting the amount of times you touched in any way or adding space between your bodies when you were near each other. then, it was almost as if the two of you were strangers living in the same place.
beomgyu had definitely noticed. you could feel his lingering look at the back of your neck. hear his questions in the air that hangs between you. but your feelings just wouldnât go away. maybe they were right when they said that distance makes the heart grow fonder.
you locked yourself in your room, working on and rewriting your book over and over again. tryingâand failing horriblyâto remove beomgyu from the caverns of it. nothing worked, but you were desperate.
one day, beomgyu was playing his guitar a little too loud while you were in your room writing. usually, this wouldnât be a problem at all. beomgyu always made sure not to be too noisy when you were writing, even though you always told him how much it helped you to have the background music. but this time, this time was different.
you were frustrated, agitated, still deep in love, and still deep in the great unreciprocated. you had flung your door open and stormed into the living room where he was playing and yelled at him to stop.
beomgyu looked up at you with wide, shocked eyes. it was dead silent for a moment, not even the sound of your breathing was heard. too late you realized what you had done. silently, beomgyu collected his things and made his way to his room, not sparing you a single glance or even a murmur. you watched him, an apology, an excuse on your lips.
the next day after you came home from researching at the library, you found a single note from him that was left on the kitchen counter. âi canât live here with a stranger anymore,â was all it said. finally, you noticed how empty the apartment looked. how empty it looked for a while now. beomgyu was gone, and it was all your fault.
today, you could barely walk the streets of your city without seeing his face or hearing his music.
âUP AND COMING!â the articleâs title had read as they delved into an interview with your former best friend. you pushed the laptop away, even after these two years apart you couldnât face him. not even through a screen. couldnât face how you tore your friendship apart because you couldnât control your own feelings. maybe love just wasnât meant for you.
you heard a sigh from next to you. âjust read it!â your friend, yeonjun, drawled. âyouâre mentioned.â you let out a sigh yourself with a roll of your eyes as you grabbed the laptop. âif iâm mentioned, itâs not gonna be something good.â
you scrolled down the article until you got to the part where beomgyu got interviewed. most of the questions were about his debut album and upcoming tour. you havenât listened to any of his songs since he released his ep. hearing his voice was just too much. your eyes stopped on a question that mentioned one of the songs from his debut ep; your song.
Q. one of your more, if not most, popular song is a song called âgraze.â can you give us some input into what the song is about? how you came up with it?
BEOMGYU: i actually had written the song for someone who i was very close to at the time. originally, the song was about the dynamics of our friendship. but as things change, so did the meaning of the lyrics. speaking of the lyrics, when i wrote the song i had come up with them first and the rest just kinda flowed after that. it was the first song that i had finished for my ep, and the one i was most proud of. iâm really happy that a lot of people enjoy the song!
you inhaled sharply at his answer. âbut as things change, so did the meaning of the lyrics.â you werenât expecting him to hold fondness for you after everything, after all this time, but his response did sting.
Q. you mentioned how the meaning of the song lyrics changed, does that tie into the title of the song? was âgrazeâ a double meaning this whole time?
BEOMGYU: i guess you could say that! there wasnât a double meaning at the beginning, but alas⊠to graze means to be scraped lightly in passing, to break the surface of the skin. but it also means to touch, to caress. to slightly damage or to gently touch.
Q. it also means to take in small quantities at frequent, did you know that?
BEOMGYU: i didnât! see how meanings can change!
blinking the tears brimming in the corner of your eyes away, you look back over to yeonjun. he looked at you with eyebrows raised and you shrugged at him. what did he want you to say? that you missed him? you did. that you wish things were different between the two of you? you do. what is that going to change?
âhe mentioned the song he wrote! for you!â yeonjun exclaimed. you shrugged again, âhe mentioned the song he wrote for someone he used to be close with. like he said, things change.â yeonjun groaned as he fell into the pillows on your bed.
shortly after beomgyu had moved out, you moved into a smaller, one bedroom apartment. it was eating away at you inside looking at how empty and lifeless your apartment you had shared with beomgyu looked. you couldnât take how everywhere you looked, a memory of the two of you followed.
âheâs having a show at the arena downtown. weâre going,â yeonjun stated. your eyes widened and you furiously shook your head. âno⊠no i canât.â two years and you crossed the street if there was a poster of him up next to the sidewalk. two years and you went everywhere with headphones, music blasting in your ears to cover his playing softly throughout the city. you couldnât see him face to face. couldnât watch as his smile faltered and his eyes lost their emotion as he looked at you.
yeonjun reached into his pocket and pulled out two tickets, âitâs too late, i already got the tickets. i canât watch anymore as the two of you avoid each other. itâs been two years and not once have i seen the both of you in the same room let alone on the same block.â you put your face into your hands as you leaned over onto the bed, groaning loudly.
somehow you forgot that beomgyu and yeonjun were also friends. close friends at that. the two of them were friends before you and beomgyu were. you wanted to curse at the sky. âand donât even try to find some way out of it either. i will drag you there kicking and screaming if i have to.â yeonjun added.
âbut i have to finish writing my boââ you started before yeonjun swiftly cut you off. âitâs this weekend, so you have the whole week to prepare yourself.â
when you were alone that night in the comforting isolation of your bedroom, you let yourself scroll through your old messages with beomgyu. let your eyes wander over the âxxxâ at the end of your messages. you fingers moved on their own as they began typing out a message.
old apologies, old excuses. you had the nerve to add âxxxâ at the end like the two of you were still who you once used to be. you deleted the kisses at the end, deleted the message altogether. itâs not that you would ever send it anyways.
you thought about how your life would be if you and beomgyu werenât strangers now. if you were more than best friends, getting to know each other again. you imagined late nights of you taking him out to bars in celebration of his new releases. pressing proud kisses to his lips as the alcohol and your love warmed the both of your bodies. shaking your head to yourself, you pushed the thoughts away. no use in daydreaming.
the damning beat of your heart got louder and louder the closer you and yeonjun got to the arena. the closer and closer you got to beomgyu. at the rate your heart was going, the sheer loudness would create a guilty beat for everyone to sing along to.
you handed in your tickets and made your way to the floor. when you read the tickets and saw that they were for the floor, you almost killed yeonjun. you thought you could be sly and sit somewhere in the seats, somewhere where beomgyu wouldnât have a high possibility of seeing you. you were wrong.
yeonjun grabbed your wrist and pulled you close to the stage. when he tried to pull you right up against the barricade, you pulled away from him and he sighed. the two of you settled close to the stage, but not so close that youâd be touching noses with beomgyu. a compromise.
the lights had dimmed and the crowd had filed in until it was jam packed in the arena. your heart couldnât help but swell with pride. he did it, he really did. he achieved the one thing he wanted the most, and you couldnât be prouder of him for it.
the band came on stage and the crowd erupted with cheers and screams from all around you. you looked over to yeonjun, who was cheering along with them. you laughed, the sound being covered, but still there nonetheless. everything only got louder when beomgyu stepped onto the stage. you swear the girl next to you almost passed out.
when you saw him, the spotlight illuminating himâmaking him look like all of the stars in the sky, it was as if it was only the two of you in the room. the crowd of people around you faded and your breath hitched when he started to look over the crowd with a big warm smile. your face heated and you looked away, hiding so he wouldnât see you. itâs been a while since youâve done that.
what were you doing here? what was yeonjun thinking? that he would see you in the crowd and everything would fall into place? that he would call your name and the crowd would part as you made your way to the stage? that heâd take your hand and kiss you in front of everyone, in front of the whole world to see? what a stupid thought.
you wanted to leave but you were trapped from all sides. beomgyu sat on the chair that was placed in the center of the stage, his one and only guitar on his knee that youâve become so accustomed to. âhow is everyone doing tonight? well, i hope!â he said, strumming the strings of his guitar lightly. the crowd erupted again, words barely audible.
shaking your head, you grabbed yeonjunâs arm. âi can't do this, yeonjun. i want to go home.â he turned to you with furrowed eyebrows of worry. the girl next to you gave you an ear to ear smile, âi know right? isnât he just so dreamy!â in turn, you gave her a barely disguised grimace and turned back to yeonjun. yeonjun laughed at your reaction, âget over it! let him sing to you! weâre staying.â he turned back to the stage and you realized that beomgyu had already began playing a song.
not just any song, the song that he wrote for you. he was singing âgraze.â yeonjun smirked at you and youâve realized youâve fallen into his trap. vaguely, you remembered that beomgyu always started out his shows with the song he had written for you. you wanted to use his guitar to bash your head in.
âher hair glowed in the sunlight as she grazed past me; like a leaf on a tree branch of a tree iâll never see. over the canopy, itâs each other that we always seem to miss. when the darkness seals me in itâs cold maze, she sends me her remembrances in the form of a kiss,â beomgyu sang softly to the tune of his guitar. the live band behind him made the song more layered, in a way you havenât heard since youâve first heard the finished song.
âunder newborn stars, we bear witness, we watched it all begin. i feel the heat of mars, my worn guitar, like her fingers against my skin,â beomgyu continued the song, the crowd singing along with him. you felt glassy tears in your eyes, threatening to fall. you couldnât open your mouth to sing, not after all of the circumstances, so your heart sang for you. it was quiet, left only for the empty cathedrals of your ribs to echo back to you.
once he stopped singing, the music continued for a moment, letting everyone take in the song. beomgyu closed his eyes against the bright lights, his hands resting on the edge of his guitar. just as the song ended he opened them, an emotion you couldnât quite make out in his eyes.
ânow, for this next one, it took me a long time to write. two years in fact,â beomgyu spoke as he looked around at the crowd, a slight laugh in his tone. his eyes had just missed yours on his journey and you reeled back slightly in shock, looking up at him with wide eyes. âi just couldnât seem to find the words to the feelings i wanted to convey. but luckily for you all, i managed to find them,â beomgyu smiled as he adjusted his guitar. âthis oneâs called âtattoos on strangers.ââ
those words sounded strangely familiar. out of the corner of your eye, you saw yeonjun look over at you as the crowd cheered. you couldnât even move to look back at him, to ask why he was staring. you were entirely focused on beomgyu. on the way he looked around the crowd with twinkling love in his eyes. the way he fiddled with his guitar like he was antsy to let the music flow out of him. it entranced you, dazzled you, entrapped you.
beomgyu inhaled sharply, the sound catching in the mic in front of him, as he strummed the chords of one of his songs youâve never heard before. âweâre two moths to a burning flame; they call us icarus. now all thatâs left between our bodies is the sinking bitterness. our eyes are on the sky, the lies we tell each other are to blame.â you gasped at how heavenly he sounded. at the melodic symphonies he was creating. at how familiar yet so unfamiliar the song sounded to you.
there was a beat as the live band picked up volume. âweâre waltzing together, weâve gone too far. but we canât help ourselves, weâre sinful, weâre brand new burning stars. gravity is starting to pull us closer and closer, you say itâs starting to lead to our demise. but donât worry, baby, our silenceâthe heaviness between us, will be the disguise,â beomgyu continued. his eyes were squeezed shut as he sang. it made you wonder who he intended the song to be for if he was reacting this way.
âthereâs no need to apologize, weâve witnessed this before, i know your true name. like the ink of a tattoo, you linger, you graze the recesses of my brain. too powerful to overtake, oh, youâve grown all over my mind. donât delete the kisses at the end, just kiss me insteadâjust this one time,â beomgyu sang as the song came to an end. suddenly it was as if a light switch lit up the dark room in your brain, a certain lyric ringing bells inside.
âtoo powerful to overtake, oh, youâve grown all over my mind,â you understood why the song sounded familiar to you. it was the song beomgyu was working on right before the two of you stopped being bestfriends. another thought hit you so hard that you stumbled back into the person behind you and yeonjun gave you another worried look. you stared back at him, eyes wide open.
two lyrics stood out to you, âlike the ink of a tattoo, you linger, you graze the recesses of my brain,â and âdonât delete the kisses at the end, just kiss me insteadâjust this one time.â you turned to look back up at beomgyu, just as he started singing another song. his eyes were traveling the crowd and at that moment, his eyes connected with yours. they widened and he started to blink rapidly for a second, like he couldnât believe that you were looking at him.
at the same time, both of your eyes traveled to yeonjun, who in turn gave a sheepish smile. he set the two of you up. desperately you wanted to leave, but yeonjunâs hand around your wrist and the crowd wouldnât let you.
âgrazeâ, you knew for a fact was for you, but âtattoos on strangersâ? there was no denying that he wrote the song about you, down to the referencing lyrics. down to the âdonât delete the kisses at the end.â oh god, you thought, oh god. this whole time⊠this whole time, he was singing about you. he was singing about you when you thought he was singing about someone else and you ruined it. you ruined everything.
suddenly, it was getting hard to breathe with everyone around you and with beomgyuâs eyes on you. he tried hard to make it look like he wasnât singling you out, but every couple seconds his eyes would lock on you again. you had no choice but to sit and endure. endure his stare, the slight wildness in his look. endure all the songs from his debut album that you never heard; all of which were about you. all of them. endure the way his heart called out to yours, echoing through his songs, and the way yours called back.
your eyes connect once moreâjust for the briefest of momentsâbefore you looked away, shyness taking over. your faceâno, your whole bodyâfelt like it was on fire. just like a brand new burning star. you felt like all eyes were on you, when in reality all eyes were on him.
finally, you looked up again as he announced the last song in the setlistââforethought.â your eyes meet just as he sings, his eyes only on you, âoh, i hear her voice in the wind sometimes. has she given me any thought? i go back to the pastimesâlike wind chimes, itâs not all for naught. my wet knees in the winter, itâs my hopeful crime, itâs my savior... itâs my desperate prayer, i scream out her name into the dying natureâit leads me out the maze so iâm with her. itâs a stranded forethought.â you feel tears well up into your eyes and you see tears well up in beomgyuâs too, hidden by the bright lights to the crowd, but not to you. never to you.
after a moment, he repeats with eyes closed in a silent plea, âdonât linger, donât linger, light bringer, donât linger. stay with meâsend me your remembrances. please, donât delete those kisses. donât linger, light bringer. donât linger.â the tears fall freely from your eyes at the way his voice softly echoes. echoes just like wind chimes in the blowing wind. you feel yeonjun pull you into a hug as a sob escapes your lips.
you donât register the concert ending, the crowd getting smaller and smaller until thereâs only a few stragglers. you move numbly as yeonjun pulls you along behind him. itâs not until you hear a familiar voice, beomgyuâs voice, that you suddenly come back to life.
yeonjun has taken you backstage. the two of you were making your way over to where beomgyu was standing, talking to someone you didnât recognize, as he packed up his guitar. again, your eyes met, and you pulled your wrist from yeonjunâs grasp. you turned, wild eyes scanning for an exit as your feet moved without needing your input. ây/n, wait!â you heard voices from behind you. you kept going, the fear pushing you forwards faster.
it wasnât until you were in front of the night bus, voices behind you as you pushed whatever money you had into the bus driver's hands, that you finally felt like you could breathe. the doors closed and the bus began moving as beomgyu and yeonjun ran up waving frantically. the bus kept moving. you looked through the window, terrified wide eyes reflecting back to you in the glass, at their fading figures. at beomgyuâs dejected eyes and yeonjunâs sorrowful ones. at the breaking of your heart, once again.
sighing heavily to yourself, you faced the front of the bus. what has gotten into you? why would you let yourself think that beomgyu would wait for you after these two long years? it was clear to you that what happened at that concert was a goodbye. and maybe you were okay with that. maybe you didnât mind. you wiped the tears from your cheeks. itâs okay, youâve always worked better on your own anyways. without the constant tingling of growing feelings, without the heavy stares that hold so much, without the newborn starsâwithout beomgyu.
when you get home, you waste no time with the alcohol you have. turning your phone off, locking all your doors and shutting all the curtains. you lay on your bed, drunk out of your mind looking up at the ceiling as you think, what if loveâs not meant for me?
five days ago, you went to your ex-bestfriendâs concert and listened as he poured his heart out onto the stage for you; while you ran away from him like the echo of a wind chime in the wind.
beomgyu has taken over your mind. has soared through the mountains of your thoughts and settled gently in the valleys of your desires. lingered in the lakes and puddles and the big vast ocean of your memories. all youâve been thinking about since the concert was him. heâs completely consumed you.
you had scrolled up and down your messages together, laughing at old jokes and shedding tears at old memories. retelling the jokes he made to yourself and pretending that they were yours to begin with as a permanent smile etched itself onto your features.
maybe this all was a sign. a sign that you should stop hiding in the four walls of your bedroom. a sign that you should find some way to contact beomgyu, rekindle the friendship you once used to have and maybe fan the flames of something greater. you wanted to scream from the rooftops about how much you loved beomgyu. tell the whole world about how he makes you feel and every little thing he does that just fills you with so much warmth.
you were scrolling through the photo album you still had of the two of you. at your silly faces and candid moments. you couldnât wipe the smile from your face if you wanted to. you felt like a teenage girl, giggling softly as she wrote her crushes name in hearts all over her notebooks. wide smile as she wrote in her diary about how much her crush rocked her world. you didnât care, you couldnât help it. beomgyu didâhe really didâmake you feel this way. heâs turned your whole world upside down.
opening your phone, you finally replied to all of the messages that yeonjun had sent you. they spanned from worried to disappointed to a resigned sadness. you only sent him one message in response:
you: is he still here?
you held your breath, mentally smacking yourself for not looking up beomgyuâs tour dates beforehand. mentally smacking yourself for not garnering the courage earlier. how stupid you were. your phone dinged from yeonjunâs reply:
jjunie: party tonight at 11:30pm. iâll pick you up around 11. be ready.
breathing out a sigh of relief you looked at the clock. it was already 10pm. you raided your closet for your best looking outfit, throwing it on as you ran to your bathroom to put makeup on. you wanted to look your absolute best.
11pm couldnât come fast enough. you were waiting by the door when yeonjun had knocked, him barely getting his second knock in before you flung the door wide open. âis it too late?â you asked him desperately, standing limply in the doorframe. yeonjun just chuckled at you and grabbed your wrist, leading you to his car, ânever. not for the two of you.â
on the way over, yeonjun told you how the party was thrown by some big celebrity you never heard of and how beomgyu got the two of you invites. it was for such a good start on his sold out tour and debut album. âlike, everyone is gonna be there,â yeonjun said to you as he drove around to find a parking space.
once you found somewhere to park, you and yeonjun made your way to the venue where the party was being held. you passed through all kinds of security until you were faced with blasting music in your ears and bodies dancing everywhere. holding tightly onto yeonjun to not get lost, the two of you scanned the crowd.
âdo you want to get a drink?â yeonjun yelled over the music to you. you nodded and he led you through the crowd to where the bar was. the two of you got something and drank them silently by the bar. you felt bad for keeping yeonjun tied to you, so you yelled over the music to him, âyou can go and mingle! iâll be fine over here by myself!â he leaned towards you, furrowing his brows. âare you sure?â he asked and you nodded.
yeonjun made his way through the crowd, turning his charm on as he talked to various people. you stayed at the bar, sipping on various drinks until you felt very tipsy. your eyes scanned the crowd, looking for beomgyu, every minute or so.
thatâs when you saw him. he was across the room, holding a glass of something and talking to a group of people, when his eyes drifted and just happened to meet yours. beomgyu rendered you completely speechless. you got a good look at him, not being able to do so that well from his place on the stage, and took in how much heâs changed in the past two years.
beomgyuâs short brown hair was now dark, tinged blue in the low scattered overhead lights. the back of it touched the nape of his neck and the front fell over his eyes and ears. he looked absolutely beautiful, even more beautiful than you remember him being. his eyes widened at seeing you, making the natural liner of his eyes stand out.
suddenly, just like at the concert, it felt like it was only the two of you in the room. his eyes widened at seeing you again, his mouth opening slightly. without knowing it, the two of you gravitated towards each other. then you were face to face, standing in front of each other in the flesh. you couldnât believe it.
you both said each otherâs names at the same time, letting out a nervous laugh after. he motioned for you to continue and you swallowed hard. you were thankful that you were tipsy, that the alcohol was smoothing your nerves, because you definitely wouldnât be standing in front of beomgyu right now if you werenât.
âbeomieâŠâ you trailed before correcting yourself, you didnât want to pretend to know him like you use to after two years. âbeomgyu⊠thereâs no excuse. no apology even sincere enoughââ beomgyu had cut you off, ây/nie, you donât have to apologize.â
you shook your head. you knew that you didnât, that he had already forgiven you and moved past it. hell, he wrote a song about it. but you had to. you had to apologize in at least some way. âno, i do,â you stated. âi shouldnât have let us drift away, shouldnât have let us become strangers. i shouldnât have pushed you away. you were my bestfriend and i was scared. i like you so much, so much that you enveloped me completely. my mind, my book, my life⊠everything.â
you inhaled deeply, looking longingly into beomgyuâs eyes like you had wanted to do now for so long. âall i thought about was you. all i think about is you. and i miss you. i missed you so much, beomgyu. i love you. iâve always loved youââ beomgyu sat his glass on the nearby table as you spoke, then cupped your face gently with both of his hands and collided his lips to yours in a passionate kiss to cut you off. it told you everything he was feeling, everything heâs felt for you for who knows how long now. you felt his song lyrics on your lips. felt how every last lyric was written for you, every melody. every atom of your being colliding with every atom of his and creating a beautiful newborn star.
when he pulled away, he pulled you into a desperate and tight hug. he held you so tight it was as if he thought you were a bird that would fly away. you couldnât blame him, you kind of were. âi donât think i need to tell you how much i love you, but i will. iâll sing it in your ear softly and scream it at the top of my lungs for all the stars to witness, y/n. i love you,â beomgyu murmured into the crook of your neck.
you took his hand and led him out the venue. when you suddenly remembered that yeonjun took you here, beomgyu chuckled as he took you to his car. in the warm glow of your city at night, you pointed to various street signs and turns as beomgyu drove to your apartment.
inside your apartment, the two of you couldnât keep your mouths off each other. the wantingâthe needâlifting you up to cloud nine and making you dizzy. when you both somehow got to your bedroom, you were breathless and hot to the touch.
beomgyu had pulled away from you. âis this okay?â he asked, looking into your eyes. you saw the desire inside of them. you nodded, âyes, just please donât stop kissing me.â and he obliged, his lips on yours again.
one by one, articles of clothing came off. there was brief awkwardness, the hem of your dress getting caught on the earrings you were wearing and the button of his pants refusing to come undone. it all was alright in the end when the two of you were laying on your bed, you only in your bra and panties and him only in his boxers, his huge bulge pressing into your thigh as he hovered above you.
you were growing needy, the alcohol edging you onwards. âbeomgyu⊠i need you inside me,â you whimpered against his mouth as his hard boner rubbed against you. he hummed, lips moving to your neck, causing you to moan. âi need you to fuck meâŠâ you breathed out. beomgyu pulled away with the slightest upturn of his lips.
he sat you up so that you were now straddling his lap as he reached behind you and unclasped your bra. ânext timeâŠâ beomgyu murmured. ânext time iâll fuck you. but not tonight. tonight⊠we stop being strangers.â you shivered slightly at your already hardened nipples being exposed to the cool air. shivering more when beomgyuâs wet tongue circled them.
âis that okay?â beomgyu asked, staring into your eyes as he waited for your response. you nodded, unintentionally grinding against him, and moaned out, âyes.â his fingers had gripped your bare waist at the contact and his eyes shut tightly for a brief moment. ânext time⊠i promise you. let me get to know your body again.â
and get to know your body, he did. beomgyu laid you back down gently and then pulled off your panties slowly while staring down at you, eyes caressing every inch of you. you felt yourself getting wetter by the second, gripping the blankets to keep yourself from pulling him to you.
beomgyu pressed his lips to yours once more as he spread your legs apart. he pressed open mouthed kisses to your skin as he moved farther and farther down your body, looking up at you the entire time. you jolted slightly when he pressed kisses to the inside of your thighs. âyouâre so breathtaking, even more than before,â beomgyu spoke, trailing kisses up to your knee. he paused for a second, âi missed you so much, y/n.â
his tongue then swirled around your clit and your back arched off the bed, your hands finding their way into his pretty hair. beomgyu groaned, pulling away from your core with a wet mouth, as you pulled at it. just as quickly, he was back at it, making you moan for him as he devoured you. you creating pretty harmonies for him.
âfuckâŠâ beomgyu said lowly. you could see how hard his cock was in his boxers and it made you need him even more. he then pushed two fingers into you, them slipping in easily with how wet you were for him. beomgyu pulled you up from the bed as he continued pushing his fingers in and out of you, tipping your head back and capturing your lips in a sweet and slow kiss. your tongues danced together, waltz together as you clenched around his fingers.
pulling away, you buried your face in his neck as you whimpered his name. âcum for me, baby,â beomgyu said in your ear softly. you didnât need to be told twice, your warm release spreading all over his fingers.
you wrapped your arms around his neck, âi-i need you, please⊠yourâyour fingers arenât e-enough.â beomgyu chuckled as he nodded. you released your hold on him so he could take off his boxes, his long and hard cock on full display for you. you used to dream of moments like these.
beomgyu looked at you, asking silently if you were ready. in response, you shakily got to your knees. he lined himself up with your entrance and slowly, you slid down onto him. the both of you gasped at the feeling, moans joining together in a beautiful song as you moved up and down on his cock.
you were giving each other sloppy and needy kisses, beomgyu wrapping his arms around you to pull you closer as he thrusted up into your pussy. you gasped against his lips, your hands laying to rest against his chest. he whimpered as he continued thrusting, âyou feel soâso good. so good, baby. do you f-feel good?â
âyâoh⊠it feels s-so good,â you managed out. you could feel the knot in your stomach tighten with each thrust he pushed into you. with the feeling of his veiny shaft inside you, sending electric currents throughout your body. the feeling of his lips on yours. moaning, you pulled away and rested your forehead on beomgyuâs. âiâm gonna c-cum again, gyu.â
he moved you so your back was against the bed again, your legs wrapped around his waist and his cock still deep inside you. groaning at the new angle, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him to you. âlet me help you, baby. l-let me do the work,â beomgyu mumbled before you kissed him.
in passionate thrusts, you came around him again and a few seconds later you felt his warm cum pour inside of you. his hips jerked against yours and he let out a whine as he rolled into you, not planning on slowing down. âb-beomgyuâŠâ you whimpered, gripping him tighter and throwing your head back so you were staring hazily at the ceiling. you didnât know how much more you could take.
âl-look at me, my pretty baby, i n-need to see your face,â beomgyu said between hard pants. between the sounds of your skin slapping together and the wet sounds of him entering and exiting you repeatedly. you looked at him through knitted brows, your fingers in his hair and pulling his head back. âf-fuck⊠god, you d-donât know what you d-do to me,â he murmured, eyes shutting for a moment. you pulled him down to kiss his jaw. âfeels⊠feels soâŠâ you couldnât even finish your sentence as you clenched around him again.
beomgyu was twitching inside you more and more and you could tell he was overstimulating himself just to make you feel good. his words of praise were being slurred as he stared deeply into your eyes, breathing erratically.
when the two had came together, you couldnât take anymore. your legs were shaking badly and your back was beginning to ache from how much you kept arching it. pushing beomgyu away until he was hovering above you, you barely managed to whimper out in a whisper, âc-canât take it a-anymore, beomieâŠâ
at your words he slipped out of you slowly, groaning loudly as you clenched tightly around his poor cock the whole way out. ây/nâŠâ beomgyu moaned. he hovered above you for a moment, forehead pressed to yours and arms trembling, before falling down next to you. beomgyu pulled you towards him until you were wrapped in his body. you tried not to think about how his still half hard cock was up against your sensitive pussy. his breath fanning your skin and sending a shiver up your spine.
the two of you stayed like that for a couple minutes, coming down from your highs and breathing the same air. beomgyu had been trailing lines down your torso with the tips of his fingers, leaving goosebumps in his wake. you could feel his smile against your cheek at the way your body reacted to his touch.
when you both were strong enough to get up, he cleaned the cum from between your legs and his with a warm and wet towel and then guided you to the bathroom. beomgyu drew a bubble bath for the both of you, helping you inside of it when your legs began to shake and your knees almost gave out.
now you laid back against his chest inside the bathtub, one of his hands trailing up and down your arm with a washcloth and the other wrapped tightly against your lower stomach. âyou donât know how long iâve wanted thisâŠâ beomgyu trailed off softly. you turned slightly so you could look up at him. âyou donât know how long i wanted this either. how long i wanted to be with you in general.â
beomgyu smiled warmly down at you, that same warm smile he would give you every time you sang together. âhow long?â he asked, playfulness slipping into his tone. âfor as long as i can remember,â you giggled. âfor as long as iâve known you.â he pressed a kiss to your temple, the action sending ripples to your heart. âiâve wanted it for longer,â he replied, laughing when you playfully scoffed up at him. âthis isnât our first life together.â
that sentiment made you turn in the tub to face him fully, your eyebrows knitting together and your eyes full of fondness. it almost brought tears to your eyes. âbeomgyuâŠâ you murmured as you cupped his face softly and brought your lips to his. you kissed him slowly, trying to show him how much you loved him through it. your actions and words alone will never be able to fully express how you feel for him.
after the two of you cleaned up more in the bath, you laid side by side in your bed. thankfully, you still had some of beomgyuâs clothes that you just couldnât get rid of from when you still lived together and you would steal them. you were in one of beomgyuâs old shirts now, body up against his in the darkness of your bedroom.
âiâm gonna miss you when you leave to go back on tour. i donât want you to leave,â you whispered softly into the darkness. you werenât very good at expressing your fears out loud, clearly. but you had to let him know. had to let him know that you didnât want this to be just a one time thing and you never see each other again. âso come with me,â beomgyu replied at your same tone, simply. âcome with me and we wonât have to miss each other.â
you couldnât help but think of the lyrics of the song he wrote for you, the one the two of you would sing together. âover the canopy, itâs each other that we always seem to miss.â he was right about âgrazeâ having a whole new meaning in his interview. first, it meant the longing between the two of you. always dancing around each other, fingertips always seeming to just brush up against the otherâs but never fully grasping. then, it meant the two of you drifting apart. missing the opportunity to admit your feelings and be together. and lastly, right now. right in this moment, the two of you together again after two long years. missing each other until your heart aches even though youâre right next to each other. it is funny how meanings change.
âokay,â you giggled softly. âiâll come with you.â you werenât going to linger. he was right, this wasnât your first life together, you could feel it. you were gonna stay with him forever. beomgyu pulled you closer, nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck.
last night, your world was turned back on itâs rightful axis as you and your bestfriend beomgyuâyour lover beomgyu, sealed the two of your souls together.
that morning you both had woken up to a ton of missed calls and a plethora of text messages. you both stared at each other with wide eyes after realizing that the two of you had basically silently walked out of the celebration that was held for beomgyu. yeonjun scolding the two of you when he realized that not only was beomgyu not at his own party, but that you werenât there either.
quick kisses and giggles were shared as beomgyu raced to get ready for the schedule he had to do today. âtext me, okay? i want to hear from you. iâll let you know when weâre leaving for the next stop, so get your bags ready,â beomgyu said, throwing his coat on and pressing another kiss to your lips, deepening the kiss for just a moment before he pulled away.
you were standing by the door, a lovesick smile on your face, âi will!â you giggled as he stalled more and pulled you into a hug. âand donât delete the kisses,â he whispered, kissing your cheek before finally making his way through the door. you waved goodbye to him and shut the door, immediately pulling out your phone.
you: iâll see you later today. good luck on your interview! xxx
there was an immediate response from him and you giggled as you read it and responded.
beomie: thank you, baby! i love you!!
you: i love you more!! xxx
beomie: i love you more than there are stars in the sky!!!
you: and i love you more than there are galaxies in our universe!!!! xxx
beomie: okay⊠you win⊠but only because i canât think of anything better!!!
laughing, you went to your room and started packing the things you needed for beomgyuâs tour.
two years agoâfour since the beginningâyou left the kisses at the end of your messages to your boyfriend beomgyu.
you were backstage just before one of his shows with him and yeonjun. beomgyuâs arm was wrapped around your waist, pulling you into his side. your mouth was currently hung open in shock at yeonjunâs revealing news.
âiâm sorry, y/nie, but i just had to tell him. two years i had to listen to the both of you cry over each otherâtwo years! i couldnât do it anymore. i had to tell him about the things you were saying!â yeonjun sighed dramatically as if he were so defeated. you pushed his shoulder lightly, âyou ass! then you had the nerve to set the two of us up at beomgyuâs concert with the tickets he gave you!â
beomgyu let out a laugh from next to you, laughing louder when you turned a playful glare to him. âif i didnâtâŠâ yeonjun trailed as he spoke to you with raised eyebrows, âyou two wouldnât be together right now. now would you?â you rolled your eyes at him, wrapping your arms around beomgyu and laying your head on his chest.
âiâd like to think we would find our way back together,â beomgyu spoke, looking down at you. you smiled up at him in return. âuh huhâŠâ said yeonjun, causing the three of you to erupt into laughter.
since beomgyuâs debut album and tour to go along with it, heâs released two more albums. all of the songs about you, once again. in every interview he had, he gushed about you to whoever would listen. youâve also finally published your book, deciding to let beomgyuâs essence flow through the entirety of it. you couldnât remove him even if you tried. and trust, you had tried.
one of the staff members gave a signal to beomgyu and he nodded back and gave a thumbs up. it was almost time for him to be on stage. for the first time ever, you were singing âgrazeâ and âforethoughtâ together with their whole new meanings.
you stared at beomgyuâs stunning side profile as he peeked out to the crowd. you almost laughed at yourself, at your past thoughts. of course love was meant for you. of course you and beomgyu were meant to be together, meant to be in love. meant to share each of your lifetimes and universes and supernovas and nebulas and brand new brightly burning newborn stars together.
of course the two of you were meant to love each other forever, how could you ever think differently?