#sub!idol

You’d recently joined your university’s severely underfunded manga club under the guise of picking up a new hobby. And whilst it was partially to pick up a new hobby, there was another underlying reason you probably wouldn’t tell anyone else about; You were grieving.

‘Rotten Peonies.’

The greatest piece of erotic femdom manhwa to ever grace the digital shelves, in your personal opinion. It was your favourite manhwa of all time and it was everything you could possibly ever want in a piece of media, as if it were a rare fruit hand picked specially just for you, that it was pretty uncanny how much it suited just to your own taste buds.

You waited eagerly every week to read the latest chapter and it was what kept you going when uni life and just every other aspect of life got too hectic, too stressful, too…much. It was your escape and you were so attached to all the characters by now, but mostly the male lead, Choi Taekbae. From his pretty character design with the shaggy wolfcut, brown doe eyes and rosy cheeks, to his funny, playful, golden retriever-esque personality, and the way he orbited around the female lead like a lovesick puppy, he was completely your type to the T. And the way he acted around and treated the female lead, submitting to them, letting them do whatever they wanted to him, never ceased to make you giggle and sigh out at your screen.

Taekbae was completely unlike how real men were and the manhwa was made totally catered towards the eyes of women: gorgeous art style and fashion, well thought out characters, real chemistry, and just the good amount of filthy. It understood what women actually wanted to see. Unlike all that other grotesque, borderline pedophilic slop men wrote. With the highly unrealistic female characters reduced to boobs ridiculously the size of hot air balloons, yet they always had a stick thin figure somehow, body proportions way off to be real. And of course, they always had to make them act child-like too, always in need of saving by their way too muscular toxic, alpha man. That’s why you liked ‘Rotten Peonies’ and taekbae so much, it was refreshing.

Real men will always end up disappointing you one day. You lived by that, you’d seen it happen many a times, had it happen to yourself a few times too. They’ll let you down, they’re all the same, some just take longer to show their true colours. It’s only a matter of when it will happen, not if.

You did not know who the writer was, appearing under a pen name ‘CBG’, but you’re so certain it’s a woman because there was no way in hell a man would ever have the capabilities to write such a masterpiece. A very cool, very feminist, very cultured, intellectual woman with impeccable taste. You admired her art and looked up to her so much.

But it wasn’t just how deliciously drawn the panels of Choi Taekbae were when he was getting fucked with pretty, teary eyes—which you meticulously saved to your camera roll—that you were drawn to by now, the plot was captivating and you were also incredibly emotionally invested and attached to the storyline as well. Surprisingly, the story was quite sweet and butterflies-in-your-stomach inducing, making you also read it for the cute, romantic moments between the main characters, while cursing the universe for not handing you your own Taekbae.

Which is why your stomach had completely dropped, utterly devastated after you had eagerly anticipated the latest chapter like you usually do, giggling into your pillow and kicking your feet at taekbae until the very end, then biting your nails at the very tense cliffhanger. It’s alright, you just have to wait one week, you’d told yourself. You’d absentmindedly scrolled down to read the author’s note, and thats when you saw the two words that shattered your entire world:

On hiatus !

‘Sorry I’m just not having much inspiration at the moment to continue anymore!’

No, no, no. This can’t be. What were you supposed to look forward to anymore?! Some series’ remain on hiatus for so long and never end up coming back. What if CBG never writes for it ever again? What if you never find out what happens next, what became of Taekbae and the female lead? What were you supposed to do without seeing new panels of taekbae anymore? Were you supposed to just keep on living? Without closure?

So, maybe you are being a little bit too dramatic, but it doesn’t matter, your beloved manhwa!

You were beyond distraught, completely devastated, which led you to joining your uni’s manga club in the mean time to cope. At least it would have you looking forward to something else every week. You also just wanted to learn about the actual process of making comics, since you always found it intriguing how your favourite author could even possibly make such art, could evoke so much emotions from you with a single panel. And who knows, maybe you could even create your own little stories and characters, your own world to escape to sometimes.

Being at the manga club had made you completely empathetic towards your favourite author. You could perfectly understand why they might have went on a hiatus now, it was hard work and there was a lot that actually went into it. And, despite there being not many members, it was very insightful. You were starting to enjoy it a lot, picking up a new hobby instead was actually really fun. Or, it would have been.

“So do we get free snacks, or was that false advertising or something?”

Choi Beomgyu.

“They’re not technically free.” Kai, your club president, had explained politely, still giving him a friendly smile. “Everyone takes turns each week to bring in snacks or bake them for all the members to eat.”

“Cool.” He’d leaned in, ripping open a packet of crisps with ill manners, not bothering to listen for the rest of the meeting.

That was your first impression of him, and you can’t say you’ve seen him in a better light, in fact, it only consolidated your thoughts about him. He’d joined around the same time as you and he was pretty insufferable. He was lazy, never took the lessons seriously like how you did, irritatingly, inexplicably handsome—not that it matters—and he made the most annoying, eye rolling commentary and jokes ever during the sessions.

While the rest of you actually tried to analyse storyboarding techniques, effects, and how to create and draw backgrounds, beomgyu spent most of the club meetings sprawled across the folded chairs, legs spread wide and munching on snacks obnoxiously loud, saying stupid things for attention like, “Do you reckon Shonen writers have a kink for dead parents or…? Like, why do they always have to add that?” You’d watched, eye twitching as his crumbs scattered over the stack of carefully arranged Shonen volumes on the table. Why he was here, at your nerdy little club, you didn’t know.

Actually, you were absolutely sure he was only here for the free snacks, which it wasn’t like that was just a mere speculation anyway, the dead giveaway being that he’d eat and shamelessly pocket away half the snacks on the table.

He was exactly the type of man you hated in this world, that made you pray, hopefully, somewhere out there in this world, there could be a choi taekbae.

Kai cheerfully clapped his hands today, earning everyone’s attention. “Alright, everyone! We’re going to pair up and try to create a short one-shot manga based on the shoujo genre. Doesn’t need to be perfect, it’s just for fun and to show to everyone else next week!”

You sat straighter in your chair, excited at the sound of the project. It was totally up your alley, maybe you’d even make something inspired by Rotten Peonies, something worthy of CBG herself.

But, with you and beomgyu being the newbies, of course, everyone had made their own tight knit group of friends by now, already pairing up with their best mates, which unfortunately left just you and choi beomgyu on your own. You look around the room desperately crazed, frantically hoping there was someone else left on their own, but to no avail, there was no one else you could work with.

And so, you were forced to partner up with him. This was going to be utter hell.

“Guess we’re partners.” Beomgyu smirks, folding his arms and leaning back in his chair. “Don’t worry. I’m a creative genius. You’re in good hands.”

You scoff incredulously at him. “Yeah, right.”

That’s how you ended up at beomgyu’s dorm, sitting cross legged on his bed, a notebook between you as you both tried to brainstorm ideas together.

“Do you even know what you’re doing?” You ask, narrowing your eyes as beomgyu tapped his pen on the paper repeatedly with creased brows in exaggerated concentration.

“Yes,” Beomgyu says confidently. “Actually, I’m pretty experienced.” He looks up at you with infuriatingly self assured eyes, twirling the pen around his fingers, doing, admittedly, pretty impressive pen tricks. “It’s my passion.”

You don’t believe that, leaning back and crossing your arms at him. “Well, do you even know what shoujo is?”

“Yeah, Shoujo is catered towards girls-” He says, looking pleased with himself but then breaks off, frowning as if struck by a revelation, tossing the pen onto the bed and suddenly getting up. “Wait a sec.” Before you could ask what he’s doing, he hops off the mattress and disappears for a bit into the kitchen without another word. A few minutes later, he returns triumphantly with a pack of gummy sweets, chewing on them.

You raise a brow at him.

“What? I love gummies.” Beomgyu tilts his head, muffled with his mouth disgustingly full with them, cheeks all round and puffed.

“At this age?”

He shakes his head at you, tutting. “Wowww. You’re ageist. I’m going to twitter and I’m gonna cancel you.”

“They’re way too sweet for anyone who’s not nine.” You roll your eyes and retort.

He makes a deeply offended look your way and plops himself back down onto the bed, stuffing four more of the sweets into his mouth all at once, not even bothering to ask you if you’d like them too, or asking if you’d like to eat or drink anything for that matter. Some host he is.

“Right. Ideas?” You sigh, waiting for him to diligently chew the sweets he’d gobbled up at once before he can speak again, his mouth still full and frankly, looking like he was struggling.

Finally, beomgyu swallows with a cartoonish gulp and then brightens up instantly. “We should make a parody of shoujo tropes. It’s usually romance, set in high school, there’s holding umbrellas out for the heroine, someone gets sick and the other nurses them back, school trip to the beach, someone confessing during firework festivals, an annoying ex comes back from the dead, they’re locked in a storage room, there’s only one bed, blah, blah, you know all that stuff.”

He’s strangely pretty informed on this. You nod in approval, a parody could be a good idea. You’re a pretty competitive person, and whilst it’s not even being judged, you still have this need to be the best out of everyone else and to impress your club president. “Uh huh. Okay. We need character ideas.”

“Well, there has to be a hot guy. Girls love that.” Beomgyu draws a large, lopsided stick figure on the paper, labelling it ‘HOT GUY.’ He grins stupidly and shoves the notebook proudly towards you. “This is our male lead. This is Hot Guy.”

You stare at it, unimpressed. “I don’t think we can hand that in. I’m gonna be honest.”

Beomgyu rolls his eyes, “Obviously not. We just need to figure out who he is first.”

“A cliche bad boy?” You suggest.

Beomgyu dramatically scribbles ‘BAD BOY’ drawing out an arrow from the stick man.

You pinch your nose bridge. You don’t think you’ll get a lot done today. “Let’s give him a name then.”

“Timmy.”

“WE’RE NOT CALLING HOT GUY THAT.”

“What? Timmy is iconic. I’d swoon over him.” Beomgyu theatrically places a hand over his chest in mock sincerity.

Shaking your head, you grab the notebook and pen out of his grasp, ignoring the accidental brush of his warm, soft fingers against yours- Clearing your throat, you cross out Timmy and write Seojun instead.

“I still think it’s a good name. Timmy…” Beomgyu mutters mournfully.

You ignore him. “Okay we need to give Hot Guy Seojun a personality.”

Beomgyu pouts but perks back up and contemplates, tapping his chin and looking up to the ceiling in deep thought. “Maybe…everyone thinks he’s this bad boy but he’s actually not at all, what if he’s actually a scaredy cat? Shy? If it’s a parody, what if we reverse the stereotypical gender roles? Make the female protagonist the bolder one?

“Ooh. That’s kinda good.” You nod, eyes lighting up, slightly impressed that he could even form any ideas. “Write that down.”

The both of you get excited now, beomgyu clearly very happy that you liked his suggestion, smiling back at you with little crescent moon eyes. You draw out arrows, bouncing ideas back and forth, adding traits to your male protagonist, what he likes and dislikes, what he could look like, what he could wear. Once you were done, it was time to properly sketch Hot Guy Seojun out.

“I’ll do it,” Beomgyu volunteers, snatching the pen before you could argue. You watch him fully skeptical, ready to mock whatever doodle he comes up with, expecting another one of his lopsided stick figures. But once he’s done and pushes the notebook pridefully your way to see, you’re taken by complete surprise.

Because it was good, like, really good.

A very handsome man with messy hair, fox like eyes and a sharp jawline stares up at you from the page, a drawing exactly like how you’d expect a male lead in a comic to look like. His art style was surprisingly so pretty, it almost reminded you of CBG’s, but it’s probably a common style. Clean, expressive, precise. His line work and perfect inking had this polished look to it that you’d only ever seen in actual professional manhwas and mangas.

“…You can draw?!” You blurt out, astounded.

Beomgyu tilts his head innocently, feigning offence. “Of course I can. I said I was experienced. This is my passion.”

“Why did you join the manga club?” You query, still in awe at his drawing skills.

Beomgyu shrugs, spinning the pen in his hand. “I like making comics in my spare time but I’ve been struggling with it lately. Thought if I joined I could learn more and get my motivation back maybe. What about you?” Beomgyu asks curiously, “Why’d you join?”

“My favourite manhwa series went on hiatus.” You confess. “I didn’t have anything else fun to do anymore so I joined the club because I wanted to learn about the process and maybe make my own.” But you couldn’t refrain yourself, once you started talking about it, you couldn’t stop, couldn’t help but go on a long, impassioned rant. “—She left us on such a big cliffhanger! And the main guy, Taekbae, oh my god, he’s my favourite character ever, he’s literally perfect and so cute and funny and my type and-”

Suddenly beomgyu pauses mid pen spin, eyes slowly going wide. You were too busy, gesticulating animatedly to notice though. “You’re a big fan, huh?” Beomgyu asks carefully, slowly.

“I’m her biggest fan,” you declare. “I was so heartbroken when I saw the hiatus note.”

“Huh.” A grin slowly spreads across his face, “Yeah… i’ll get to it eventually.”

You blink at him. “Huh?” What was this dude even going on about?

He leans forward, looking insufferably smug. “You’re talking about Rotten Peonies. I’m CBG.”

You stare at him. He stares back. Then you snort, incredulous. “Yeah, right.”

“I’m serious!” Beomgyu says, still grinning. “CBG. Choi. Beom. Gyu. That’s me. I drew it, idiot.”

“No. No, you didn’t.” This was a very weird joke of his. But then again, you’ve never quite understood his type of humour. Although, you don’t know how he knew you were talking about Rotten Peonies, though saying taekbae’s name might have given it away. Still, why would he even know that?

“Yes I did.”

“You didn’t.”

“Did.”

“No.”

“I literally did!”

“Prove it!”

Exasperatedly, beomgyu flips to a blank sheet and in a minute, sketches out an exact perfect replica of a Rotten Peonies panel of taekbae and the heroine. “Believe me now?”

You gape. “Okay…that’s…scarily accurate. But this still doesn’t actually prove anything. You just copied it out.”

Beomgyu sighs, getting up to rifle through a folder on his desk. Out came piles of drafts, storyboards, covers. He even pulls up his publishing account on his laptop, in which you can clearly see he was the author.

Your jaw hit the floor. “Holy shit—” You just blink at him, utterly dumbfounded, brain short circuiting.

He was CBG.

How was that possible?

CBG was a girl! Okay, it was never actually stated, but how can a man write so much emotional depth, actual good erotica? And most of all, Choi Beomgyu, the guy who manspreads and leaves crumbs all on the shonen mangas, who makes the dumbest commentary?!

Then, you grab his shirt in both fists, eyes wild, shaking him hysterically, “YOU MUST WRITE THE NEXT PART! I HAVE TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS AFTER THEIR ARGUMENT ABOUT BEING MORE THAN FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS AND THE WHOLE SHIT WITH BAEKHYUNG!”

“Wha-hey! Okay, okay.” Beomgyu flails and yelps, slightly freaked out by you. “You’re…very intense.”

“I’ve been going insane.” You snap, still clutching onto his shirt, just accepting the maddening information you found out, there were more pressing matters here, your beloved manhwa was on the line.

Beomgyu sheepishly sighs, rubbing the back of his neck. “Honestly, I’ve been struggling with the sex scenes. They feel… I dunno. Unrealistic? Like I’m not doing it right.”

You knit your brows, you’ve never thought that. Everything was perfect. “Why do you think that?”

“Because I don’t…” Beomgyu hesitates, cheeks blooming pink. “I…I don’t…”

“Don’t what?” You press him.

Beomgyu sighs again. “I don’t actually know what it’s like..” he winces, ears also going a very vivid, bright shade of red.

Your eyes go wide. “No way. You mean, you’re a virgin?”

“Shut up.” Beomgyu mumbles, completely embarrassed and averting your gaze.

You laugh so hard your sides hurt. “You’ve been drawing porn this whole time, and you’ve never even had sex?”

Beomgyu groans, burying his face in his hands which only makes you giggle even more at him. It’s quite cute.

And that’s when it hits you.

The wolfcut. The shy, embarrassed flush. The way his puppy eyes dart away like he’d die of shame. You gasp. “OH MY GOD. Taekbae’s literally just a self-insert because you can’t get laid! You mean I’ve been thirsting over your self-insert this whole time?!

Beomgyu’s head shoots up, furrowing his brows in denial. “What-NO! Self insert?? No, he’s nothing like me.”

“You literally gave him your hair!”

“That’s a coincidence!”

You arch a brow, unimpressed, giving him a stern, deadpan look as if to say ‘come on, it’s so obvious.’

He deflates under your gaze. “Well, okay, maybe a little-”

You cross your arms and huff, but you’re heavily amused right now, narrowing your eyes as you stare at him cryptically, slowly grinning. You just thought of an absolutely brilliant idea. “So…what you’re saying is that you’d write again, get inspiration, if…someone actually fucked you?”

Beomgyu opens his mouth then closes it, utterly speechless.

“Fine. I’ll do it.” You shrug.

“You’ll—what?!”

“I’ll pop your cherry. You better write that next part.”

You could tell he was nervous, practically hyperventilating, chewing on his bottom lip raw.

“Relax, beomgyu.”

“I am!”

“No…you’re not. I know I’m hot and all, but breathe.”

You sat behind him, your chest pressed against his back, your legs spread as he sat in between them, your breath tickling the side of his neck and making goosebumps arise on his skin and his whole body, visibly shuddering. Beomgyu squeezes his eyes tightly shut.

You sigh, placing your hand onto his thigh thinking it’d calm him but it only makes him jolt violently. You try again, voice softer, rubbing slow circles on his skin. “If it’s too much you’ll tell me, okay?”

Beomgyu’s throat bobs, his sharp adam’s apple moving up and down as he nods, a little more relaxed, but still only a little. “Mmh.”

You bring your hand to hold his bare cock, thumb pressed on his slit, very lightly, only slightly, swirling your thumb around on his fat, pink, leaky tip. The effect is immediate, beomgyu sucks in a shaky breath, gazing down at what you’re doing to him, so flustered at the sight. You try to calm him down some more, trying to loosen him up as he sat so stiffly, so on edge, only keeping those light, slow ministrations for him to be able to get used to it. Your other hand combs gently through his soft hair, massaging his scalp as he leans into your touch.

“M-more…” beomgyu speaks up after a while, faint but needy, feeling a lot more comfortable now.

You stilled. “You sure?”

He nods so quickly you almost laugh, and so you slowly start sliding your hand up and down, smearing the slickness on his length. Beomgyu’s thighs tremble, a little closed whimper escaping from his mouth. Your free hand grabs onto his thigh again, digging your nails into the pretty plushness, partly to stop them from shaking, but also because you heavily enjoyed his reactions when you touched his thigh.

“Jesus, are your thighs that sensitive?”

Beomgyu attempts to shake his head, but you can see the way his eyes already glaze over just from your slow movements on his dick and your hand gripping his thigh, “N-no-!” You rake your sharp nails down them, dragging and leaving a little trail of faint, reddened lines onto the skin that was once unblemished. A squeaky, startled noise leaves beomgyu’s mouth at that, bucking into your hand, hips jerking. You want to leave his thighs filled with all sorts of marks and scratches and bites and kisses, they’d look prettier like that.

You hold onto his thigh harder, squeezing the flesh, bringing your pace on his dick a little faster and your hand wrapping a little tighter around his girth. Beomgyu clasps a hand to his mouth, eyes squeezed shut in overwhelming pleasure and trying to quiet down the loud moan he just let out.

“Why are you slapping your hand to your mouth? We’re at your dorm?”

“O-oh right…” Beomgyu removes his hand from his mouth, placing his hand down and balling it into a tiny little fist on his lap instead, still trying to fruitlessly suppress all the noises he’s making, incredibly shy and bashful and you can’t help but giggle at him. The next noise that spills out of him is a strangled whimper, caught halfway between embarrassment and overwhelming pleasure.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed. It’s just you and me here. No one else can hear.” You coo at him, bringing your hand to play with the soft locks of his hair once more, “I want to hear your pretty moans. Don’t hide them.” You ghost your lips over his neck, gently placing kisses on the delicate column of his neck, but of course, his neck is sensitive too.

You lick a slow stripe up the side of his dainty neck, watching the way he shivers as you chuckle, now sucking hickeys onto it, seeing how they slowly appear on his skin like ink blotches seeping into paper, violet and maroon and magenta, an assortment of colours on his porcelain complexion.

His fairy-like ears are so cute too, so red, and small, you catch his ear lobe in between your teeth, pulling and tugging and then licking a stripe along them too as beomgyu’s squirms and whimpers at the feeling, sucking nastily on his ear, watching him writhe.

You pick up the pace of stroking his cock, pumping him up and down, thumbing at the slit, twisting your fist at the base, and it’s all too much for him, breath faltering with every stroke. He throws his head back, resting it on your neck, succumbing into you and slumping onto your own body, you’re basically holding onto him, definitely not stiff anymore. His deep chesty, restrained moans, becoming breathier and whinier as times goes on, losing himself completely, “H-hahhh…” beomgyu pants as you whisper a mix of filthy words and praises into his ear.

Another grab at his thigh and digging your sharp nails deeper into them, and you feel the spurts of his cum reach your hand with a ragged cry. He orgasms fast, but that’s what you expected anyway, he’s a virgin after all. Beomgyu turns his head, hiding his face and panting into your neck, “Woah…t-that was…”

You scoop up his pretty cum onto your index and middle finger, bringing it to his face, “Open your mouth, puppy.”

Beomgyu widens his eyes, but the pet name clearly fries his brain, because he accepts, opening his mouth for you obediently. Of course being called puppy gets to him, it’s obvious, if not for the light pet play that appeared pretty often in the manhwa he wrote. Beomgyu’s tongue peeks out, letting you stuff your fingers into his mouth, he looks at you as he wraps his lips around them, sucking and licking his own cum clean off your fingers, doing it so well, moaning around your fingers, his eagerness and the way his eyes were fixed on you filthy and obscene but so sexy.

The sight was too familiar. You’ve seen this in Rotten Peonies with taekbae, his puppy eyes looking up at the female lead as he diligently sucks on her fingers, swallowing his own cum, you’ve saved it to your camera roll, added it to your hidden file. This was so strange. You can’t say you didn’t like it though. Especially now that you’re seeing the resemblance with takebae and beomgyu, god this freak was really just writing his own fantasies.

“You’ve been dreaming of this haven’t you, virgin?” You tease but beomgyu just nods, unable to say anything. “Pathetic.” You spit out, as if the sight of him wasn’t making your pussy flutter and making you so incredibly soaked through your pants, as if this wasn’t everything you’ve pretty much wanted in real life.

You pull your fingers out of his mouth slowly, watching the connecting string of saliva from his mouth and your fingers stretch. Then you grab his shoulders, pushing him down onto the bed and you crawl on top of him, straddling him. He immediately tenses again, getting nervous all over.

You take your bottoms off, leaving you in your underwear and you seat yourself on his bare cock, sliding your clothed pussy on his sensitive dick. Beomgyu nearly chokes, breath catching in his throat.

You roll your hips lazily, moving and grinding against him over and over, your own lips parted as the friction bumps with your clit, your panties drenched by now and leaking onto his own wet dick. Beomgyu’s head falls back into the pillow, throwing his forearm over his face, other hand curling into the sheets tightly, clearly not being able to take it.

“Beomgyu,” you murmur, grinning at his fucked out expression. “Take my shirt off.”

Beomgyu freezes like a cute little deer in headlights. Slowly, awkwardly, he tugs at the hem until you help him yank it over your head. He freezes again when faced with your bra, staring dumbly, seemingly bewildered.

“And my bra.” You deadpan.

He reaches up, attempting to, nervously fiddling with the fabric.

“Are you serious right now?”

“I’m trying!” Beomgyu protests and whines. And after far too long, the clasp finally comes undone. At the sight of your tits, beomgyu’s mouth falls open, flustered beyond belief and eyes completely glued to them in awe, like he’d never seen boobs in his life-which, you guess he hadn’t.

“You’re so hot. So pretty…” He doesn’t even move, still staring and gawking at your breasts in disbelief.

Rolling your eyes, you grab his hand and press it firmly to one of your breasts to which he lets out a gasp. “You’re allowed to touch, you know.”

“O-okay…”

Beomgyu cups one of your tits in his hand, still in awe, squeezing inexperienced, too timid, too unsure, just little presses and squeezes, bringing his thumb to slowly brush over, feeling your nipple, and gaping. “It’s so soft…and squishy.”

You laugh, almost, fondly at him. He writes and draws all this filthy shit, and yet he acts like this. “You’ve drawn countless panels of porn, how are you so clueless?”

Beomgyu furrows his brows, his face on fire. “Drawing and doing are two very different things you know!!”

You giggle once more at his expression, voice dripping with mockery. “Come on, even taekbae knows this much.”

He just hides his face in his hands, those small, little breathy moans and gasps still escaping him as you continue to hump his dick, grinding down on him, sliding your clothed pussy along him.

“Aw, my dumb little virgin. You want me to fuck you? Do you wanna know what it feels like to be inside me, hm?” you purr, leaning down just enough so your breath ghosts against his ear.

Beomgyu just nods along to your words stupidly like a bobblehead, moving his hips mindlessly with yours, speechless and unable to speak up, eyes half lidded and his thick long lashes fluttering.

You grab his chin in your hand, grinding down harder on him for emphasis. “Use your words, dumb puppy.”

“Please,” he blurts out immediately, voice cracking so high, “please, wan’ you to fuck me…Want you to take me.”

“You wouldn’t be cumming inside me within seconds like a little virgin, would you?”

“No, nonono.” Beomgyu shakes his head wildly, “Promise I won’t. Want to be inside, please. Please?”

The desperation of his voice goes straight to your core so you lift yourself off him to rid yourself of your drenched underwear, discarding it carelessly. His big eyes follow every single one of your movements like a starved, waiting dog, gaze snapping back up to you when your hand wraps around his cock. You grab his dick, using the head to rub your clit, drawing little stuttered gasps from his lips, sliding him over your slicked entrance and folds, the feeling of your pussy actually on his dick, too much for him already, his hips twitching helplessly beneath you. Beomgyu mewls, head thrashing against his pillow. “O-oh—fuck—please—”

“Are you really sure, beomgyu?” You ask him again, gently, sincerely, scanning all over his face for any uncertainty.

“Yeah, yes-want it so bad.” Beomgyu pants needily, hips jerking up desperately just at the thought.

You inspect his face once more for any hesitation and then take a hold of his dick, hovering, just about to sink down on his fat tip, the head of his cock pressing right against your entrance, and suddenly, he panics.

“Fuck, fuck, shit, okay. I’m kinda scared.” Beomgyu comically breathes in and out, his heart racing, bracing himself.

But you find it quite endearing and entertaining, laughing softly at his expression. “Scared of what?”

“I don’t know!”

“Do you want to be inside me or not?”

“Fuck, I do.” Beomgyu whines, seemingly in a dilemma.

You lean down, staring at him assuring and serious, cupping his face, pressing his hot cheek to your palm and you feel him melt and relax instantly at your touch. “It’s okay gyu, I won’t do anything you don’t want me to. You have to tell me though.”

Beomgyu nods, looking into your eyes too. “Y-you can do it. I want you to.” he says finally, voice trembling but certain.

So, you ever so slowly, sink down all the way onto his dick, inch by inch until he’s buried inside to the hilt. It knocks the wind completely out of beomgyu, gasping for air, throwing his head back so theatrically, moaning out so long and loud, it doesn’t sound like it could be real, straight pornographic, his entire body arched. “Ohh. oh my g-Oh my god…”

“Is this okay?”

“Y-yeah…ffuck…”

Beomgyu reaches his hand out like a man drowning, grasping and taking a hold of one of your hands in his, and interlocking them as if grounding him, holding onto it so tightly as he tries to catch his breath, panting deeply. You don’t move, waiting for him to get used to the feeling of being inside your pussy first.

“Shit, ‘m okay. You can keep going.”

You swivel your hips around him, then leisurely, for his sake, start riding him. Beomgyu reacts to everything, every roll of your hips, every shift of angle, sending him spiralling further, literally so sensitive it’s unreal, every sensation so new to him, his appearance and the noises he makes are priceless, cute, deep, yet whiny little cries slipping past his lips.

As time goes on, and you quicken your pace, bouncing on his sticky dick, still holding his hand, beomgyu is long gone, not knowing how to endure being fucked. The most dumbest, debauched, dreamy expression taking over his entire face, genuinely drooling, dribbling down from the corner of his mouth and onto his chin. Apparently, you’d fucked him so dumb already.

“Puppy, does it feel good?” You taunt, even though his expression was already answer enough.

It takes beomgyu a while for him to even register you’d asked him a question, and an even longer while to actually formulate an actual thought and an answer to it.

Beomgyu’s eyelids droop heavily with pleasure, sweat beading his brow, slurring his words and his lisp fully coming out, “ughh is sso goood, ugh-ah, pussy sso perfect. It’s ssso…” he was meant to say more, but he doesn’t bother continuing, cutting himself off, his eyes flickering down, getting hypnotised, watching as your boobs jiggle with every bounce right in front of his face, wonderstruck by this. What a perv.

He looks just like how taekbae looks when he’s getting fucked right now, so delirious, he sounds so wrecked, definitely looks like it too. His messy, sweat ridden bangs of his brown wolfcut falling into his eyes. All you can see now are his glossy, glistening, plump, round lips parted and stustained in the perfect shape of an ‘o’.

This entire predicament is still so crazy to you, you’re basically fucking your favourite character in a way. You can’t believe he’s still CBG who you looked up to. The annoying idiot from your manga club who scoffs all the snacks. You also can’t believe you’re seeing Choi beomgyu like this, and you never thought he’d be a virgin.

“Will you kiss me?” That cuts your thoughts off.

“Huh?”

“Please. Kiss me?” Beomgyu looks up at you with devastatingly vulnerable, sparkly, round, big, eyes, his voice small. He looks like he’d cry if you say no to him, pleading at you, needing the intimacy.

You can’t say no to that, leaning down, you capture your lips with his, kissing him softly but messily, tongues tangling together. Beomgyu whimpers sweetly into your mouth, closing his eyes and so into kissing you, his hand that has been interlaced with yours this entire time, refusing to let go, squeezing even tighter as you ruthlessly ride him. Wet, filthy sounds of you fucking him take over the room, as well as a plethora of beomgyu’s pretty, euphonious moans he emits into your mouth that you gobble up, increasing in volume and reaching an octave higher, music to your ears.

You bite at his bottom lip, dragging your teeth and he pulls away for air, “y/n…I’m soo closee...” Incoherent words of begging and your name, falling past his lips, face contorted with overwhelming bliss and ecstasy. You clench around his cock so tightly on purpose, earning a mangled, raw scream from him and he cums immediately after, cumming so hard from being fucked for the first time and shooting a substantial amount of his load inside that it overflows, and when you pull yourself off, it all stickily oozes back onto and around his dick, his breath coming out in ragged sobs and gasps of disbelieved pleasure. “Fuckfuckfuck—” Beomgyu cries out, astonished and just totally overwhelmed with everything right now.

He doesn’t last long again, you not even being able to have your own orgasm, but you can’t even be annoyed at him. He’s so cute. His gorgeous reactions to everything and the way he was so sensitive was so much more worth it and rewarding than any orgasm, and even better than reading any of the manhwa panels, the images of beomgyu fully engrained in your head, it’s fine, you can get off to it later.

You let him ride it out, cooing soft praises for his first time, calling him a good boy and saying that he did so well as he clings to you. You pull him in for another kiss, thinking he’d appreciate it but he can barely kiss you back, his body literally limp and boneless. He still doesn’t let go of your hand, bringing his other hand up so he can hold your other one too, quietly whimpering into your mouth.

“Well,” you murmur when you pull back, still perched on top of his convulsing frame. “Was that inspiration enough?”

“Uh huh…” Beomgyu pants raggedly, a far away look in his eyes, barely conscious.

So, perhaps there are real men like taekbae out there. Well, only one.

Please actually reblog !!!!!! and leave comments !!!! guys if you like the fic. It’s really appreciated and so nice tysm !<3🙏💕🌷🌷! It’s incredibly discouraging and disappointing when fics have such little reblogs. At least send an anon in the inbox if you don’t want to rb, don’t just like. Feedback is always appreciated it makes writers want to actually write more :)

A/n: yipeee. I hope you guys like this 😭 idk if it turned out the way people were expecting but ! I think this would be a good series where they fuck so beomgyu gets inspiration and ideas for his manhwa 😭 but I’m not gonna write it loll.

one day in class you took notice to the little stickers that littered his folders and notebooks, also the plush keychain that hung from his backpack. you thought it was cute how he showed his interests in little ways like that, especially since he wasn't able to talk about them to these judgmental students in school. you never thought it was strange like the other students saw it to be. but to soobin, your wandering eyes must have felt that way. he snatched up his things with shaky hands and shoved them in his bag, his face burning red. before you could get a word out, he sped-walked out the classroom and down the hall.

you and soobin never got close, never had the chance to. aside from playing with chemicals and writing scientific equations on a piece of paper, you didn't get to talk that much. here and there you would gather a little information about him, but he would often shut himself up from going on and on about his interests or life. he kept it short, like he was drawing a line between the two of you. it pained you a bit that he felt like he had to hold himself back, you noticed the light in his eyes when you would ask him a question and the way it faded when he caught himself. his eyes shaky and gnawing on his bottom lip, changing the subject to science-related topics.

the day before soobin left, it was a friday and you managed to get a smile from him. it was a stupid joke you made while doing an experiment involving looking at germs. you mustered up the courage to lighten the tense mood since you've been working for an hour on the assignment, jabbing soobin in the side before he pressed his eyes into the scope.

"hey," he turns to you, his eyes immediately shifting when they locked with yours. he stares at a corner of your face, but you were used to it. just like you were used to the pink that spread across his face whenever you would converse with him. "why did the germ cross the microscope?"

he furrows his brow and chews on his bottom lip, "w-why?" he stutters.

you hold back a laugh as you complete the joke, "to get to the other slide." you couldn't hold back for long as you burst out with laughter at how dumb the joke was, it wasn't even that funny. yet, you couldn't help yourself. soobin's eyes widen at the sudden loud sound, his face flushing as he turns away while trying to stifle a laugh. he looks into the microscope in front of him, but you don't miss the small smile that comes onto his face. nor the little dimple that appears on his cheek.

you were the last to know about soobin and his family deciding to leave the city for one that was three hours away from yours, which meant he would be transferring high schools. you didn't have a chance to say goodbye or thank you for all his help during the class as he just stopped showing up. you were pretty worried, it wasn't like soobin to miss a day. let alone it being three in a row, your anxiety was starting to eat you up and you decided to ask the teacher about him.

"you didn't hear, soobin transferred last week. friday was his last day."

it shocked you, he never talked about leaving. granted, you weren't the closest to him but you thought with the small-talk you often made he would mention something like that. or even bring it up the day before he supposedly left, the day you saw him smile for the first time. before leaving the classroom, you took another glance at the seat next to yours that was empty with something heavy weighing on your heart.

after he moved, it took about a month before you got use to his absence. everyday you walked into class your eyes would immediately fly to the seat he once sat in. you hoped that you would find him sitting there with his disheveled black hair, his glasses that were perched on his little nose, his lips that would be pursed in concentration as he worked out a problem in his study book. you would deflate when he wasn't there, shuffling to your seat and plopping down with a sigh.

you eventually got a new lab partner, beomgyu was his name, and the two of you would come to be good friends. often finding yourself doing the same things you would with soobin, plus some. hanging out with the boy after class and talking to him about his interests. sometimes you'd find that same glint in beomgyu's eyes that you saw in soobin and get sad, shaking the feeling off with a small smile.

you would eventually forget about soobin in the following months leading up to graduation, maybe not completely though . even though you knew he wasn't there, he couldn't possibly be, your eyes still searched the sea of graduation caps hoping to find those glasses and flushed cheeks you grew fond of.

⠄･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠄･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠄･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠄･ ⋆ ･

you and beomgyu walk into your first chemistry class of the semester together, shoulder to shoulder, and laughing about some video that he sent to you this morning. the two of you ended up getting accepted into the same college after vowing to never separate post-graduation. you were happy to know one person for your first year, and even happier that it was your best friend beomgyu.

you take a seat in the third row of the classroom with a sigh, beomgyu following and plopping down next to you. you turn towards beomgyu with a blinding smile and he playfully shields his eyes, making you push him. before you could strike up a conversation about your excitement, the professor walks in along with some straggling students who didn't want to be marked late on the first day. she was a short and limber lady, with a high bun resting on her head and circular glasses that framed her face well. she looked like the kind of professor that enjoyed her job.

she shut the door behind the last student to enter, before making her way to her desk. she fumbles around with her many folders and laptop, pulling up a slide show. the room is mute of talking, the only sounds being the shuffling of students reaching into their backpacks for their computers and pencils, prepared to take any introductory notes. as she sets up, the door to the classroom creaks open and everyone's heads turn in the same direction.

a boy with wired-headphones plugged into his ears walked into the room. he was wearing a black tight-fitted shirt that hugged his sides, it was tucked into his jeans that fit his thighs perfectly, his dark hair was mussed but in a stylish way. he grimaces and his face flushes when he realizes the squeaking of the closing door was bringing unwarranted attention to him, dimples that looked a little familiar appeared on his cheeks.

"class starts at eight, young man." the professor says, grabbing the remote that controls the screen now that her slides were pulled up. he turns in her direction, popping the buds from his ears and wrapping them around his phone, his face seemed to turn even darker and he sucks in his bottom lip. you cock your head to the side, the more you stare at him and watch his actions, the more familiar the boy looks. distant memories that you can't quite catch float around in your head.

"s-sorry. it's not an excuse, but my alarm didn't go off." his voice was deep and smooth as he spoke, honesty laced in his tone as he apologized. all around you, the girls in the class started to whisper to their friends. presumably about his good looks, you would do the same with beomgyu if it weren't for you trying to wrack your brain trying to figure out why you think you've seen him before. he presses his lips together and bows his head awkwardly in apology. he starts to head for a seat, but he's stopped by the professor speaking again-

"i'll let it pass this time since it's the first day," she starts and he nods his head in acknowledgement, his grip tight on his bag-strap that was slung across his slim waist. "what's your name?" everyone tunes in, wanting to know the name of the handsome boy who would be in this class for the semester. he runs a hand through his hair, his eyes darting around the room and avoiding stares. "ah, c-choi soobin."

you freeze, your eyes widening at that name. choi soobin? like choi soobin that you went to high school with? choi soobin who suddenly upped and left one day? the same one who buried himself in over-sized clothing and his glasses that never sat on his nose right? that's the same guy who was standing in front of you, with fitted clothes, no glasses on his face, and a lot taller than what you remembered, that soobin?

your eyes follow him as he walks past you once the professor dismissed him to a seat that was a few rows behind you, you couldn't help it. you haven't heard that name in about a year and now he shows up again in the same college as you, in your science class? your eyes lock briefly when he goes by, his eyes immediately shifting away and his face going pink. you don't think he remembered you though, besides it's been a while and you also forgot about him until this moment.

all class, you could only think about the boy who you were semi-acquainted with in high school and how much he has changed. your body itched to turn around and catch a glance at him, figure out if it was actually the same boy you knew.

"you okay," beomgyu whispered to you, poking a finger into your side. you give him a nod before placing your face in your hand and gnawing on your bottom lip. you had to talk to him after class, right? you needed to know if he remembered you, thought about you even a little after he left.

you were lost in thought until the final minutes of class, the professor clapping her hands together sharply before clicking to the last slide. it was an announcement that she will be putting us in pairs, and we'll stay in that duo for the semester. you'll do labs, assignments, and presentations with your partner. it reminded you a lot of the class you took in high school.

"hopefully we're together." beomgyu whispers, crossing his fingers and you smile at him while also twining your fingers in hopes. we wait while professor starts calling out pairs, your heart beating fast. the both of you take a pause when beomgyu's name is called.

"choi beomgyu and-" he bites on his bottom lip and squeezes his eyes shut, grabbing onto your hand and holding it tightly in his. "kang taehyun." he deflates, throwing a pout at you and you caress his shoulder. he turns around and finds his partner who raised his hand. he gets up with his belongings and makes his way towards the boy and they immediately jump into conversation. you think he'll be alright and you shoot him a thumbs up when he looks your way with a soft smile.

you jump when your name is called next, snapping your head to the front of the room. hopefully whoever you get is nice and not someone who will slack off and make you do all the work, that's the last thing you want in a college-level chemistry class. "and choi soobin."

you eyes widen and your mouth drops open in shock. what are the odds that you and soobin would be in a science class together and be lab partners at that. it gave you a reason to talk to him again after some time, but you haven't thought about what you would say. how would you even bring up what you wanted to talk about?

when you turn around, soobin was already looking back at you. you couldn't quite read his facial expression, he looked a little surprised but also intrigued. he would shift his eyes away though, clearing his throat and rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. you gathered your belongings and headed up the stairs to his row and taking the seat next to his.

you look at him from the corner of your eye, too scared to turn and look at him and just fidgeted with the pencil in your hand instead. you let the professor finish putting people in pairs, she tells the class to exchange info with your lab partners and get to know them as our first lab will be on thursday. there's about fifteen minutes of class left and she dismisses us to be able to converse.

slowly, you turn your head towards him. "hey,"

soobin jumps and rubs his hands anxiously over his thighs. he looks over at you and bows his head, before turning away again. he squeezes his eyes shut and says something under his breath you can't catch.

"uh, so… we should probably exchange numbers like the professor suggested since we're going to be together for a whole semester. and we might have to keep in contact with eachoth-" you started to ramble before soobin suddenly cut you off.

"did we go to high school together?" he asks, turning towards you. he quickly catches himself, his face burning and his eyes shifting away from your stare that felt too intense. he looks down at his lap, at his fumbling hands that were there. "ah sorry- i mean…m-more specifically did we have a science class together?" he mutters the last part.

you freeze, so he did remember you…"uh, yeah. we were lab partners back in high school." you answer his question while nodding your head.

there was the tiniest smile that came to his face, crooked and cute. "i thought so…" he mumbled more to himself. his hand comes up to his nose like he was going to push up his glasses, but his hand curls into a fist when he realizes they weren't there.

"what happened to your glasses?" you blurt out without thinking. soobin's drops his hand onto the table and his face turns a pretty shade of pink.

"my-my glasses? i, um stopped wearing them awhile ago. i wear con-contacts now." his hand scratches the back of his neck as he speaks and he clears his throat often the more he talks, like he was thinking of the next words to say as he said it.

"mmm," you hum in understatement. before you could ask another question, about why he left so suddenly without saying anything, it was the end of class. the professor would announce that while also telling us to pick up our homework for the day. a worksheet to get to know all about your lab partner, like we were in kindergarten again.

soobin packs up his belongings and you can't help but to notice the keychain that hung from his backpack, the same one from when we were in high school. you smile to yourself and soobin gets up, a quick and jerky movement that startles you a little.

"i-i'm gonna go now," he stiffly says, sliding behind you and starting for the stairs that leads to the door. you bite your lip, quickly getting up and packing your stuff to follow him. you can't let him get away that easily, not when you got the chance to finally see him again.

"wait-" you say, catching his hand that was on his phone and ready to unravel his headphones. he flinches away, snatching his hand back and leaving yours hanging mid-air. when you look at him, he was blushing, his eyes looking everywhere but at yours and his cheeks were puffed out.

"sorry i- i was just wondering if you wanted to get started on the homework?" you ask him, dropping your hand and clutching onto your tote bag. soobin taps the screen of his phone with his thumb to check the time.

he opens his mouth to speak but gets interrupted by someone slinging their arm over your shoulder and ruffling your hair. you knew it was beomgyu cause he was the only person that did that to you, the little punk.

"shall we grab some lunch, i'm starving~" he asks, pinching your cheek. he stops when he realizes that soobin is standing there, looking between the two of you with wide eyes. he particularly focused on beomgyu's arm that was around you, which striked you as odd.

beomgyu nods at him before shoving a hand out in front of soobin, "hi, i'm beomgyu! you must be soobin and this losers lab partner." you roll your eyes, shoving his arm off of you and making him pout. soobin tentatively takes his hand, shaking it almost robotically before letting go.

"so," beomgyu turns to you, bringing his face completely in your view. you notice the way soobin turns his head away, his face burning. "are we getting lunch or not?"

you lean back and gesture towards soobin, "actually, i was going to get started on the homework assignment with soobin." you smile at beomgyu who drops his obnoxiously and his eyes flicker towards the boy that was standing there shuffling on his feet. he looks back at you, wiggling his eyebrows.

you never talked to beomgyu about soobin, never felt a reason to. it felt better to keep those little memories you had to yourself, instead of loading all you grievance on someone you just met. so, to him it probably looked like you were looking for a hook-up.

"oh, that's cool! i'll just get lunch with taehyun and catch up with you later?" he taps your shoulder and gives you a shit-eating grin that makes you roll your eyes even harder than the first time. he skips away, smirking at you as he heads out the door to track down his new friend.

soobin looks at you, not for too long of course, before staring down to his feet or the ground beneath them you weren't too sure. he drums his fingers against his bookbag strap, the silence stretching on.

"uh, sorry about that…do you have any time to do the assignment right now?" you ask him.

soobin's head pops up and he seems to perk up a bit at the idea of you still wanting to hang out with him, "yeah down- i'm down!"

"we can go to my dorm, it's only a five minute walk from here. if that's okay with you of course!" you offer, pointing in the direction of your room. soobin blushes furiously, but nods his head in agreement. you smile, waving your hand and motioning for him to follow you.

⠄･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠄･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠄･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠄･ ⋆ ･

"me and beomgyu share this place, but he shouldn't be back for awhile. but you already knew that…"

soobin shucks off his shoes before looking around. it was a cozy and small dorm room that he can tell is properly lived in. plushies littered the couch, there were two mugs on the coffee table in front of it, he placed his shoes next to the others that were by the door. it smelt good too, like cinnamon and something else he couldn't name.

you watch as soobin scans the place, his head turning until it lands on you. he gets startled as if he forget that it was your place and that you were actually in it. you don't fight the giggle that bubbles up and comes out.

"we can go to my room, it's more comfortable." you smile at him and make your way down the hall and to the right where your room was, opposite of beomgyu's who was on the left. he follows you into the room and jumps when you shut the door.

you gesture towards the bed, "have a seat." he nods and rummages through his bag for the assignment, a clipboard, and a pencil to write with. he settles on the bed, but he doesn't move. he looks almost frozen as he sits there and you smile fondly at how shy he can truly be.

you sit next to him, climbing onto the bed and crossing your legs with the paper in your lap. soobin mirrors you, being sure to put a little bit of distance between the two of you as he does.

"i-i'm ready when you are." he says, scrunching his nose and pushing up imaginary glasses. your eyes linger on him a little longer than you intended, soobin's eyes shifting and his cheeks turning rosy as he clears his throat.

"right- um, first question is…what's your favorite thing to do?" you look up from the sheet for him to answer first.

"i would say m-my favorite thing to do is read or watch tv, it's what i do the most." he shrugs his shoulders while you write down his response.

"and what do you like to read and watch?"

"nothing much, just…what everyone else reads and watches." he answers, his hands fidgeting around his pencil.

"and what is everyone reading and watching?" you tease. soobin stutters over his words, his tongue felt tied as he tried to come up with a lie and think about what trending shows he's heard others talking about.

"i'm messing with you," you laugh, placing a comforting hand on his thigh. he tenses under you and you pull away, he immediately relaxes when you do. "but i did notice the jujutsu kaisen figure on your bag, do you like that show? it's anime, right?" soobin's eyes are wide when he looks at you, his mouth moving like a fish.

"you know about jujutsu kaisen? have you ever watched the show?" he sounded excited that someone recognized the figure, as if it wasn't one of the most popular ones out now. he had that same shine in his eyes that he did back in high school when he would talk about things like this.

you felt a little bad when you had to admit the truth though, "i've never watched it, but beomgyu always talks about it!" you try to make the situation a little better and give him a topic to bring up with beomgyu whenever he sees them again, maybe they can become friends too.

"oh…" he deflates, tapping his pencil against his paper.

"we could always watch it together, since we're going to be around each other the whole semester." you suggest to him.

"really? you would watch?"

"yeah," you answer honestly and watch with fondness as soobin smiles, sucking his lips into his mouth in an attempt to hide it. it reminds you of the day before he left, the same day you finally saw him smile.

you can't hold back when you ask, "how come you didn't tell me that you were moving?" soobin pauses, his head slowly lifting up to gauge your facial expressions and feeling the shift in the mood. "i mean, i know we weren't super close but we were science partners and i was a little hurt when i had to find out from the teacher that you left." your voice gets soft to show that you weren't angry at him, just curious.

"i-" soobin's hand comes out to comfort you, but he stops himself and drops it onto the bed and grips onto the comforter instead. "i wanted to say goodbye… i didn't even know we were moving until i got home that day." he mumbles with a small head shake.

"everything was already packed and they were loading up the u-haul truck. i hardly even had time to process it all and once i did i was in a new city surrounded by a bunch of new people. b-but believe me when i say i wanted to say goodbye at least…" and you do believe him. he sounded too sincere and his eyes reminded you of a sad puppy, his lower lip jutting out into a pout as he spoke.

he almost looked he wanted to cry and you couldn't have that, not over something so small. you were just curious as to why you never saw him again, you didn't mean to upset him in the process. you don't remember how or when but when you snap out of your thoughts, you're close to soobin. super close, with your hand pressed against the side of his warm face.

he was blinking at you wildly, his fingers gripped tight into your covers. you gasp, your eyes widening as you steal your hand away and pulling back. "sorry, i don't know why i just did that…"

"you-" soobin presses his lips together, furrowing his brows.

"i…?"

"you whis-whispered something,"

"what did i whisper?" you nervously ask.

he clears his throat, "you said that you missed me…"

you were taken aback, you didn't remember saying that but soobin said you did and he didn't have a reason to lie. did you miss him? when he left, you did think about him a lot. even after meeting beomgyu and graduating, there was little moments when he would pop into your mind and you would wonder how he was doing. if he was doing the same, thinking about you at that very moment.

you look at the boy who was so different from what you remembered. his muscular and toned body that was visible through his shirt, his legs that were a lot longer than before and encompassed by his jeans, his slender hand that held his pencil, his big and curious eyes that were no longer framed with glasses, his pretty and pink lips that were pouted so cutely. you wanted to lean in and kiss them-

your lips touch in a chaste kiss that lasts a second. when you pull back, soobin's eyes were squeezed shut and his lips were still protruded. you giggle, hiding your smile behind your hand and soobin's eyes crack open. he was blushing furiously and he had a sheepish look on his face.

"it's true, i did miss you…" you admit to him. you shove the classwork aside and crawl towards him. soobin's breath hitches when you start to come closer, his legs involuntary parting and allowing you to fill the spot between them.

you bring your faces close enough so that your breathes mingle between the little space there was. you slowly bring your hand up to his face again, your thumb rubbing under his eye. soobin's breath gets shaky as he lets your explore his face, gnawing on his bottom lip in nervousness.

you let your finger trace the bridge of his nose where his glasses used to be, "do you still keep your glasses around?" soobin brain was malfunctioning and he couldn't speak so he simply nods his head and points a trembling finger at his backpack that was on the floor. with a smile you hop off the bed to grab his glasses that were in a cute case before repositioning yourself to where you were.

you raise the glasses up to his face and gently slide them over his ears and up his nose. they were the same ones he had back then, except now they fit his adult features. they looked perfect on him, against the pink of his cheeks.

"so handsome," you mutter while continuing your evaluation of his face. letting your fingers trace the bow of his upper lip, soobin's stuttering breath making them moist. you look him in the eyes, "can i kiss you, properly?"

soobin swallows, his eyes sliding to the wall behind you. "i-i don't know how… i've never kissed somebody before." he whispers.

you were slightly taken aback, "really?" it was a little hard to believe that someone that looked like this has never kissed anyone. he shakes his head slowly, his nervous eyes finding their way back to yours. it was cute, the contrast between his striking visuals and his timid actions. and the fact that you were the first person to kiss him, be close to him like this, defile him was kind of turning you on.

with a gentle touch, you tap his lips. "just keep these open and follow my lead, hm?" soobin nods again, licking his lips and parting them, shutting his eyes as you move in close to him. you tilt your head to slot them together with his and soobin's fingers grip onto the blanket.

you take it slow and let soobin get the feel of making out, he's clumsy at the start of course. he can't quite find the right rhythm and sometimes he'll press too hard. he pulled back a little at one point and whispered against your mouth, "is that right?" you would grab him by the chin gently and hum in agreement before pulling him in again.

this time soobin melts into the kiss, finding the pacing easier this time as you capture his lips. wrapping an arm around his neck to keep him in place, sliding your fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck and making soobin shiver. his whole body squirms as your nails scratch his scalp gently, a tiny whimper slipping into the kiss.

the sound sent tingles through your body and you wanted- no needed to hear it again. you grip the hairs and tug them just a little, just enough to tilt his back and deepen the kiss.

"ngh," soobin moans into your mouth, his pretty lips opening wider. you place a hand on his chest, pushing him back onto his elbows. you slip your tongue into his mouth and soobin allowed you to explore his mouth, moving your tongue against his. he finds himself liking the way it feels, his body heating up, his pulse racing, and there was another sensation happening…between his legs.

he can feel the way your hand slides down his chest and tense tummy, heading right for the spot that was throbbing. his breath hitching when your hand ghosts over his crotch, your hand warm against the prominent bulge. his hips twitch up into your hand and he moans at the contact, the friction was delicious and he wanted to chase it.

it wasn't until you started rubbing at the same time as he grinds into against your hand. he found that the longer you did it, the better it felt and there was something coiling in his belly that made his breathing uneven and his body tingle. it scared him a little and he would pull away from the kiss, pushing your hand off of him, "wa-waitwaitwait-" he voice was breathy and his face was flushed, lips red and swollen.

"what's wrong?" you ask with concern, your hand that was just making him feel good was now rubbing his shoulder in comfort. soobin's skin was tingling with every graze, but it was bearable and not as intense as whatever just happened.

he ducks his head in embarrassment, his voice low when he speaks. "i-it's just that was my first time feeling something… like that."

"did you not like it? we can stop if you don't wan-"

"no!" he shouts, his head popping up and his eyes wild. "n-no it's not that i didn't like it…in fact i think i liked it too much. there was this feeling, right here." he points at his lower abdomen, right above his cock that was still hard and twitching in the constraints of his jeans.

"it was really intense and overwhelming, it scared me a little. it was too much, too fast," his speech is fast, his face burning all the while. you giggle a little and let your hand drop back down to his hard-on. soobin jerks, his legs twitching at your sides and lets out a breathy moan as his eyes flutter.

"what you were experiencing was getting close to having an orgasm. you've never touched yourself before?"

soobin's body felt like it was on fire, "no, never…"

"well," you lean into his neck, letting your breath ghost against the sensitive skin. soobin swallows when you trail your lips along the side. "would you like me to be the first to touch you there?" he moans while nodding his head, giving you the consent you needed to hear.

you unbuckle the belt that was around his slim waist, unzipping the zipper and sliding your hand into his pants. soobin watches with heady eyes, blinking slowly as if he didn't want to miss anything. you pull his cock from his pants, the tip was glistening with precum and you press a finger into the pool. you bring your finger to your mouth, lapping at the liquid.

"w-what are you doing, why would you eat…that?" soobin stammers, but his eyes were glossy as he watched you lick up his precum. it made his cock twitch between the two of you.

"it's sweet," you simply reply. "wanna try some?"

soobin tentatively nods, one small motion of his head and you kiss him. immediately, you push your tongue into his mouth while wrapping your hand around him and lubing him up with his own precum.

"uhn," soobin moans, his hips slowly raising up into your fist and his hand comes up to squeeze your arm tightly. it feels so good, he feels so good that he can't even keep up with the kiss. his mouth going slack as he continously moans and whines.

the air between the two of you is humid, soobin's glasses sliding down the bridge of his nose from the sweat building there. his hazy eyes looking at you through his almost fogged lenses, letting out an assortment of needy sounds.

you start to jerk him earnestly, letting your hand go up and down his cock at a quick and steady pace. drinking up all of the whimpers and pants that soobin feeds you. he leaks profusely over your first, a tell-tale sign that this was in fact his first time being touched.

soobin couldn't think, his brain was clouded and his skin was prickling with pleasure. he couldn't control his hips that kept thrusting up, chasing after that intoxicating feeling of your hand on him.

"i-" he gasps when he feels that coil in his tummy again, coming at him quicker than the first time. he doesn't think he can stop it this time though, his body tensing as the pleasure ramps up and his orgasm builds.

"you?"

"i don't think i can hold back -" he choked on his words, shaking his head. his eyes were shiny like he could cry at an moment from feeling so good. you let your hand graze his tip briefly and that seems to be soobin's breaking point.

"i'm- i'm gonna cum," he breaths, his eyes rolling back and his hips kicking upwards in one final thrust. his body twitches, a long and high-pitched moan of your name flowing from his mouth as he comes in your hand.

he tosses his head back, his one hand that was in the sheets so tight that his knuckles were white and his other hand that was on your shoulder was shaking. he felt like he could see white as he came, he felt light and dizzy as multiple spurts of warm cum landed on his shirt and jeans.

you stroke him while he comes down, his breathing heavy and his bottom lip was now sucked into his mouth as he tried to regulate himself. "wow," you smirk, admiring the amount of cum that landed on his clothes. soobin gets shy, his face burning as he turns his head away.

"i'm sorry - i didn't mean to cum so quickly…" he apologizes.

"you don't have to apologize for that." you reassure him, sticking a hand into his mussed hair before reaching down to push his glasses back up his nose and making him crinkle it cutely.

"it-it's embarrassing… cumming just from you touching me." he mumbles, his eyes downcast in shame.

"not embarrassing at all, it's hot." you lift his head up and make sure he's looking into your eyes, letting him know you were telling the truth. he swallows, his throat bobbing and he nods his head.

you laugh, letting his face go and grabbing some tissues from the bedside table. "but if you came that fast just from a handjob, i don't think you would've fared if we went all the way."

soobin's eyes go wide, whimpering when the soft tissue touches his sensitive cock. "i-i… i could've lasted longer!" he counters, a little frown on his face as he said it. you tuck him back into his boxers and zip his pants up.

"really?" you raise an eyebrow, tossing the dirty tissue aside and climbing into his lap. you settle down, pressed directly against soobin's sore cock and moving your hips a little. soobin moans, his hands coming to your waist while nodding his head.

"well, we have a whole semester to figure that out now don't we?" you smirk, as you hop of his lap and start to head out of the room. soobin watches with a furious blush on his face as you go.

"w-wait, my pants!" he calls out, leaping off the bed to remind you off his cum-stained pants he was wearing. he pauses though, looking down and groaning. he was rock hard again. "dammit," he mumbles while shoving a hand between his legs.

how was he supposed to survive chemistry like this?

© lucidwntrr est. 2025 - please do not steal, repost, or copy !

he's so, so incredibly clingy— you were only gone for a few hours, yet he treats it like it's been years since he last saw you. he sits next to and watches you eat with starry eyes, neglecting his food until you scold him to eat. even then, he simply opens his mouth childishly, going "ahhhh" until you give in and feed him yourself. the victorious smile on his face is enough to keep you from getting annoyed with him.

puppy!beomgyu who can get a little possessive sometimes— but it's a normal trait for dog hybrids, isn't it? it's the only way you can reason the way he's acting tonight. you only agreed to let him be your plus one to your company dinner after he started crying when you said no; you'd only done it in fear of him getting overwhelmed from being in such a crowded room, and now you wonder if you should've put your foot down back then.

he's quiet— it's unusual to see him like this, so reserved and observant. but, that's not what's been bothering you tonight, no, it's the way he's been looking at anyone that even thinks about approaching you— his ears press flat on his head, his mouth pulling back in a snarl whenever your male coworkers greet you— when soobin manages to get past his defenses and pulls you in a quick hug, you almost think you're about to witness a fight go down.

beomgyu's not above admitting to jealousy; he's done it so freely in the past, always coming to you with a pout and a plea to not let anyone get so close with you, to not let them "scent" you. no matter how many times you told him that your human friends don't do that, he insisted anyway.

when beomgyu had pulled you away from him, nails digging into your wrist, you tried to keep calm— you knew he'd take it the wrong way if you started scolding him to behave. you do, however, have to tell beomgyu to fix his face after seeing soobin get so nervous under beomgyu's intense gaze.

it was like setting off a ticking bomb— he'd already been on edge earlier, but you think this might've pushed him past his limits. as soobin continued to laugh and joke with you, he resigned to go sit at your table and watch from afar. and while you wanted to run to his side and make sure nothing was wrong, a part of you knew it was better to leave him alone.

puppy!beomgyu who proceeds to watch you for the rest of the dinner. quiet and calm, eerily so— his dark pupils following your every move, watching you go from person to person, a bright smile on your face and your movements so free and happy; if you had looked a little closer, you would've been able to pick up on the way he was burning with jealousy.

the car ride home is dead silent. even with the radio playing, it still feels like there's no noise at all. not compared to the way he'd been talking your ear off on the way there, rambling about how excited he was to finally meet your coworkers. when you glanced over at him, he turned his back to you, looking out the window instead. his tail thumped rhythmically against the leather seats.

he gets out the car as soon as you pull into the driveway; you try to scold him for doing so while the car is still moving, but the only response you get is the slam of a car door, and the sight of him stomping off into the house. you're sitting in the driveway for a good twenty minutes, wondering what you could possibly do to remedy the situation.

it was all just a matter of jealousy, wasn't it? maybe you hadn't done enough to prepare your puppy for all the new scents, the people, everyone approaching you— you should've known better than to throw beomgyu into such a situation.

when you finally go inside your house, it's quiet… it feels wrong, stepping in such a dark and still home, always used to the white noise of the television and beomgyu's absentminded humming. instead, the only light you find is that of your bedroom lamp bleeding into the hallway. you follow the source, ready to bow your head and apologize.

but when you push open the door to your room, you find something entirely different— puppy!beomgyu lifts his face from your pillow, tear stained and flushed, his hair ruffled and falling into his eyes. when his pupils meet yours, blown out and shiny, his hips rut faster into your other, folded pillow.

he's facing you, back arching as his mouth falls open, a broken little moan slipping from his throat. his face falls back on your pillow, and he hugs the other one tighter, drool pooling out his mouth as he thrusts deeper into the makeshift hole he's made— your eyes fall to his lower half, mouth drying at the way his tail jumps with pleasure and he cries out your name.

puppy!beomgyu who begins to cry after seeing you freeze at the doorway, brows pinching together and tears dotting his lashes as his whole body flushes with humiliation— yet, he can't bring himself to stop, and his whole body rocks as he keeps going.

"m'sorry…" he whimpers, "i just— i can't… i can't stop. m'sorry…"

your heart pounds against your chest as he continues to whine for you— his stare won't leave your face, hungry for every reaction as he continues to fuck your pillow, his eyes rolling back as he inhales the faint scent of your shampoo on the fabric he's stuffed his face into— when he finally pulls back, he takes a deep breath, his ears perking up as he catches your scent change.

"master…" he begs, "please, please come touch me— i need you, please…"

embarrassed, he buries his face back in your pillow, his whines muffled and the red tips of his ears poking out. you hear your name slip from his lips, and it's enough to have you moving forward.

puppy!beomgyu who you always thought was pretty— but right now, as you turn him over and he looks up at you with big empty eyes, you think this might be the best he's ever looked, his cheeks a light pink and his dark hair splayed like a halo around his head. when you rip the pillow from his lap, his cock bounces up and against his tummy, sticky tip leaving a trail of precum against his skin— his lashes flutter, sending you a dazed smile as he watches you undress.

your puppy has always been so noisy— so it shouldn't be a surprise to hear the way he whines and whimpers at the feeling of your cunt tightening around his cock, taking him all the way and grinding down until he's bottomed out inside you. all he can do is cry out how good you feel with teary eyes, grabbing at your hips and thrusting up to try and fuck you— you have to pin his hands above his head and scold him to sit still.

puppy!beomgyu who does just that; he does whatever you tell him to, moaning out your name and apologizing for his behavior, begging for your forgiveness while you continue to ride him, your breasts bouncing in front of his face only serving to drive him mad.

"do whatever you want to me— use me, please," he whines, "but only me— i want you to look at only me, miss."

pull his hair, bite his neck, slap his face when his hips jump and he tries to control the pace— he loves it all, and he doesn't even try to hide it. he'll cry for mercy whenever you slow down, holding off from letting him cum until his chest is flushed pink and his face is shiny with tears, calling you mean but still listening when you tell him to not cum yet.

he lets this go on as long as you want it to, letting you cum on his cock over and over again, eyes rolling back every time he feels you milking him, squeezing his length tight— but he holds off from doing the same, each quiet plea instantly shut down with a look. you let it go on until he finally breaks, his nails digging into his palms as he fights to not disobey your orders to not touch you, fresh tears spilling from his eyes.

"please miss, can i cum now?" he'll sniffle softly, blinking away tears, "i promise i'll be a good boy from now on, 'm sorry for overstepping, but please— i can't hold it anymore, please—!"

you can't deny your puppy— not when he begs so sweetly, staring up at you with starry eyes as you finally give him permission to let go; he throws his head back, body tensing and his hips stuttering against yours as he cums deep inside. it's so much, and all you can do is roll your hips against his, cooing out how well he did and helping him ride out his orgasm.

"so good, so so good— y'treat me so well master, thank you," he hiccups, his cock continuing to pump you full, "i'll be a good pup from now on, i— i promise…"

puppy!beomgyu who whines for you to stay on top of him, even after he's calmed down; who says with a shy smile that you smell like him now— and when you place a fond kiss on his forehead, brushing his hair back and telling him how good he was for you, he gets hard again.

SOONYOUNG chased after his own breath as he downed a red plastic cup of water, sweat sticking to the back of his neck that the vehement dancing wasn’t entirely to blame for. 

he and the rest of the trio, seungkwan and seokmin, had been practically glued to the wall and off in their own world until they’d drowned out their anxiety with liquor. and when the bass of fantastic baby’s opening rattled the walls, soonyoung had shamelessly dragged his friends by their wrists to the dance circle. 

it wasn’t long before the crowd ended up parting for the tipsy trio, egging the boys on as they tore up the dancefloor. the other two (show offs) even sparked cheers when they both belted the bridge. 

seungkwan and seokmin had been ridiculously loud, impossible to tune out — and yet soonyoung couldn’t hear anything but the thrum of his own heartbeat when he caught sight of you. 

in the midst of all that noise, your eyes crossed paths. it was literally just a chance contact: a pretty girl amongst the sea of people, tongue pressed into your cheek as you looked him up and down — eyes flitting from face to crotch, raising your brows like you knew exactly what he’d taste like. seungkwan had to shove soonyoung into position because you’d turned him to stone with just one look. 

his body moved to the music on instinct, while each thought in his mind had been set to fire — the flames roaring a feeling he really didn’t want to think about or else he’d pop a rager right here in front of everyone.

soonyoung hadn’t meant to keep staring, even long after they song ended and the circle started to disperse. hadn’t thought about it when he got on his tippy toes to catch sight of your face again amongst the crowd. he may as well have been floating in the air following your scent like a pie on a windowsill.

he felt crazy. more than his usual.

to his luck, he finds you again across the room, pouring tequila into two shots glasses: one for you, one for your ponytailed friend.

just when he thinks he can’t possibly drool at the sight of you, your tongue darts out to lick a stripe of salt off your hand. together, you link arms with your friend and throw your heads back to down the shots.

the clear liquor seeped from the corner of your lips and caught on your chin as your face scrunched, reaching for a slice of lime to suck on. that’s when he should really look away, before his thoughts revert to caveman and all he can think is peepee want suck.

his brain’s halfway to regression as you pop the shrivelled lime from your mouth, lazily tugging up the hem of your shirt to blot the juice and liquor around your mouth, flashing the bare skin of your stomach to what should’ve been no one in particular.

his eyes dart away before yours could catch him, but it was still too late. his throat felt tight, his body reacting in ways that made his stomach twist. oh, shit. was he—? oh my god. he’s really become the guy who gets hard at the party.

soonyoung resolves to turning to his friends, the hand in his lap slyly readjusting the front of his sweats under the table. he tunes back in to their conversation, desperate for their lunacy to repulse him out of this evil.

“soonyoung, you know that chick?” seokmin pipes up, voice loud over the music.

fuck my life.

he gulped. “uh, who?”

seokmin extends an arm out to fully point at you without any regard for socially acceptable behaviour. seungkwan’s quick to intercept it and shove it back down before any heads can turn.

soonyoung shook his head, threading a hand through his hair to slyly catch a bead of sweat about to run down his forehead. seungkwan’s more demure in his approach, gaze casually flitting around the room before he catches on who seokmin was pointing at.

“you don’t mean that tall one, right? ponytail?”

“the one who just did a shot with her friend, yeah” seokmin drawls. “she’s gorgeous.”

seungkwan gives him wicked side eye. “that’s a hyung. his name’s jeonghan.”

“oh.”

“wait, what about the other one?” soonyoung cuts in; practically blurts. “do you know her?”

“not her name, no.” well that was surprising. seungkwan knew the names of just about everyone’s mother and their dog. “but i think she—”

“—is coming over.” seokmin says lowly through a smile full of teeth.

and sure enough, soonyoung’s got no time to compose himself before you’re standing in front of them, radiant and certain.

“hey cuties,” you purr, bending at the waist and resting your palms on the table to lean closer. a soft perfume hits his senses, and it’s enough for a violent storm of butterflies to start flapping their wings in his stomach.

maybe it was the five dollar snoop dogg wine he bought on clearance (dancing with a bellyful certainly didn’t help), but his insides were shaking up. he didn’t trust his voice, didn’t trust that opening his mouth wouldn’t just spill all his nerves onto the floor.

“hey.” he manages to croak out at last. seungkwan’s side eye dug sharp into his skull.

if you notice, you don’t seem to care — rather you jab a thumb toward the dance floor where the crowd was swaying along to bae bae. “you know this one?”

”yeah,” he replies pitifully.

“good.” your smile curled, sly and unbothered. “mind if i steal him?”

soonyoung doesn’t even get to answer for himself before his friends are shoving him out of his seat, barely concealing their groans of secondhand embarrassment as he shyly takes hold of the hand you’ve offered him.

as he trails behind you, he shoots them one last glance: narrowing his eyes with pursed lips, as if to say i got hit on and you didn’t, so stop making fun of me!

the floor rattled with bass, bae bae flooding the room as bodies moved along. soonyoung found himself orbiting you in the middle of the dancefloor, inching closer with each beat until you were swaying together, just the two of you in your own little bubble.

“what’s your name?” you asked, leaning in so he could hear you, not without your breath fanning his face.

“kwon soonyoung.” he replies, unintentionally straightening his back and stating his full name without hesitation. you laugh softly at his sincerity.

you repeated yours back the same way. his head bobbed in a curt nod. and then… nothing. he opened his mouth, closed it again; mind suddenly wiped clean of every scrap of charm and every line he’d ever used. he wasn’t some virgin loser, he swears to no one in particular. he just needed a second to defrost.

“what’re you up to here?” you asked, taking the reins to fill the silence.

“oh, i got invited with the rest of the football team.”

you nod without a word, teeth catching your bottom lip. was that you biting back a thought, or were you deliberately teasing him? either way, it leaves his eyes lingering at your mouth.

he scrambled for something to return. “what about you?”

“jeonghan’s friends with everyone,” you nod towards the wall where jeonghan leaned, charming the hell out of one of soonyoung’s teammates, wonwoo. jeonghan caught your gesture and threw you a wink.

a pit opened up in soonyoung’s stomach. boyfriend?

“not my boyfriend.” you tag on, as if you’d plucked the thought right out of his head.

“oh, cool.” his relief was instant, though he tried not to sound too obvious about it. okay. so maybe you were flirting.

the song rolled into its final stretch, the part where the backup dancers draped their bodies over the guys and swayed in sync with them. around you, couples mirrored the choreography. you stepped toward soonyoung and turned your back to him expectantly.

your arm comes to hook lazily around his neck, body already swaying side to side while his feet stayed planted to the ground as if he wasn’t a dance major as well as a raging bigbang fanboy. his arms hung rigid — among other things — at his sides when your ass brushed against his front.

“don’t tell me you’ve gone shy on me,” you pouted over your shoulder.

that did it. his hands found your waist at last, and you rewarded him by grinding just enough to make his head spin. he tried to follow the steps on instinct, but his body was uncooperative: half stiff from nerves and half from the amount of blood rushing south.

you laugh, the sound dripping with knowing mischief. you both knew damn well what you had roused in him. worse, you’re taking the piss out of it, almost enticing him to make a mess of his pants out here with each not-so accidental slide against him.

when the song comes to a torturous end, you don’t step away — rather you spin in his arms, looping both of yours around his neck before leaning in to kiss him.

it was dizzying. the taste of his cheap dodgy wine mingled with the bitter taste of your tequila and lime when you licked into his mouth — just once, then his tongue was chasing yours. when his fingers curl in the fabric of your shirt, you take it as a sign to end it here. any longer and he might not let go.

soonyoung nearly whines in dismay from parting with you, and you have to press a palm to his chest to stop him from leaning in for a second go.

“got places to be?” you ask, tilting your head towards seokmin and seungkwan, whom he completely forget he came with. he shakes his head. “they won’t miss you too much?”

he’d literally skip attending their funerals if it meant getting whatever you’re offering to give him right now.

okay, maybe that was too extreme of an example, but the point still stands. it’s been a while since he’s gotten some. he silently prays that his abilities haven’t slipped from him during his hiatus.

“let me just get my bag from jeonghan, and we’ll head out of here? my place?”

he nods along. your smile’s worth a million dollars. “good boy.”

you turn away without regard for what the hell you’ve just done to him, pushing past the crowd while he stands there horny and conflicted.

he glances back to his table, where seungkwan and seokmin are giving him thumbs up and silently cheering him on. the youngest’s eyes flick down, and his face drops in horror. he mimes to soonyoung by frantically pointing downwards and covering his lap with his hands. soonyoung just waves them off with a roll of his eyes, trailing after you — but not without clasping his hands at the front of his body to conceal the tent in his pants.

⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧

after a handsy uber ride back to your apartment (which was all you, grabbing at his thighs and kissing his neck. he was too scared of the driver glancing in the rearview mirror), soonyoung finds himself laid out on the couch underneath you.

your ass was sat in his lap while you bent down to kiss him; your hands roaming underneath his shirt to palm at his abs, hips rocking to grind frantically against him.

“god, you’re so hard,” you exhale onto his lips, fingers tugging at the strings of his sweatpants. months of no play will do that…

you sit back on his thighs, slipping a hand under his waistband and grazing your fingers over his length. his cock twitches at the featherlight touch, and you snicker at his sensitivity.

“it’s.. been a while. sorry. i don’t know how long i’ll—”

the words die in his throat when your fist wraps tight around him. you watch him gasp with a glimmer in your eye.

“do you see me complaining?” you croon.

he makes a silent vow to pound you til this couch is creaking, but only after he gets past the chills leading up to his first orgasm. you deserve better than the whiney mess you’ve got under you right now.

your palm lets go of its vice grip around him, fingers sliding up to dance across his abdomen. you giggle in amusement when his torso flexes under your nails.

“soonie— can i call you that? okay, good. i wanna ask your permission for something.”

he nods with a gulp, eyes trained on your hand swirling circles on the bare skin of his toned chest.

you lean down to press a kiss to his lips that lasts longer than intended — him catching your bottom lip between his teeth, sucking your tongue into his mouth. you swat his side playfully as you part. that could definitely turn into something he’s into… but the thought passes as quick as it comes.

“do you mind if i record this?”

soonyoung stares at you for a moment, and you’re happy to wait patiently as you watch the cogs turn in his head. at last, his face shifts into one of surprise, and intrigue. 

“oh, yeah. sure.” 

his response is calmer than you thought was coming (him too). you smile, pressing quick kisses to his lips and leaving him chasing after you as you get up off his lap. 

soonyoung watches his small reflection on your phone screen as you set it on the coffee table, propped up on a tissue box. it’s angled to cut off anything above soonyoung’s jaw, and he could still tell just how sweaty he was even from the distance. he’s not sure what he expects to happen when you press record, but he curiously trails your every move once the camera’s rolling — letting you lead this dance and for him to follow. 

your ass plops back down to the home it’s made on his thighs. “if you’re gonna call me anything, make sure it’s ‘baby’.” you whisper. 

soonyoung nods, hypnotised by your hands crawling to his waistband. 

his eyes flit back up to your face to watch your reaction as you tug his sweats down, revealing where he’s been straining against his briefs.

you lick your lips, fingers rubbing at the head of his cock where the fabric’s already damp with precum. his hips roll into the featherlight touch against his will (lie) and you giggle. 

“big boy.” you say absently, rolling the last layer down his thighs enough to be out of the way. he swears his dick jumps at those words. 

there’s no preamble as you spit right onto the tip, soonyoung jolting at the sudden contact. you use a loose fist around him to glide your spit and the leaking precum down over his length. when you reach the base, your fist wraps around him properly, and he hisses sharply to hide the whine that almost left his mouth on camera. 

with a vice grip you ride your hand up and over him; smiling at how his dick bobs at your touch, how his face scrunches from the effort of trying not to bust all over your knuckles already. 

soonyoung lets out a shaky whimper when your fist reaches his tip, cut off by a startled moan when you give a flick of your wrist. you snicker and repeat the action to get him to duplicate the noise. he catches your eyes drifting to the phone, watching your reflection as you jerk him off. 

you keep working him like that — a tight grip and steady paced strokes of his cock,  with a quick twist at the tip to keep him vocal. even with the amount of soft moans you were pulling from him, he still found himself holding himself back, hyperaware of everything being documented. he’d probably be belting high notes from how fucking good you feel if not for the camera. 

only a good few strokes later and soonyoung’s reaching for you, fingers wrapping around your wrist where your hand is undeterred in fisting him. his hips jolt, cock twitching violently in your hand as soonyoung feels that familiar tightness curling far too quickly in his lower belly. 

“holy fuck—” he throws his head back, urging out stammers between his moans, not sure himself whether he’s trying to get you to slow down or speed up. “baby—”

your movements come to a torturous halt. your hand’s wrapped tight around the head of his cock, thumb pressing cruelly onto his frenulum. his breath comes out in shallow heaves as he simultaneously holds back on orgasm and prays to not make a bitch of himself. your hands slide off of him, and when his eyes flutter open, he’s surprised to find that yours are back on him — captivated and gleaming. 

if he was in any position to make demands he’d tell you not to edge him. but he’s completely out of it, hazy at the edges and sensitive to every drag of your fingertips on his skin. you’ve got his shirt hiked up on his chest to watch his abs contort under your featherlight touch, face plastered with a wicked grin.

he swallows the urge to sit up and kiss it off your face. he doesn’t know how far he’s allowed to go, instead just laying there and taking whatever you’ll give him. 

for a minute, you rake your nails over his chest and watch how his cock jumps and leaks, every soft whine from soonyoung a plea to get your hands back on him. though he’s grateful for the breather so he can hold off his orgasm to a less embarrassing finishing time. your eyes weigh heavy on him the entire time, until you’re suddenly raising off his lap. 

he cuts himself off before he can say the first syllable of your name. “baby, what—”

the rest of his sentence dies in a choked moan as he witnesses your face drop down and lips wrap around him. soonyoung’s back arches off the couch at the shock of your tongue dragging over the underside of his length, hollowing your cheeks to suck him into the heat of your mouth. 

“baby, baby,” he’s babbling, hand instinctively burying into your hair. your hum in reply vibrates around him, tongue swirling circles onto the head of his cock, pressing down hard enough for him to see fucking stars. 

it takes everything in him and then some to not close his fist around your hair in fear of uprooting it as his orgasm seizes him — hips deliriously bucking up into your throat, you bobbing your head to match his urgency. soonyoung quite literally yells as he cums, burying him to the base around your lips as hot ropes shoot down your throat. 

you’ve got no mercy as you move off him, cheeks still sucking him in as you drag your mouth up his length with that same unrelenting tightness, leaving soonyoung a whimpering mess when your lips detach with a wet pop. 

you lick your lips, and he watches breathlessly as your throat bobs, swallowing the taste of him down. his dick twitches at the sight. 

you smile, satiated, patting his thigh like you’re telling him he did a good job. you don’t move from your spot this time as you lean to the coffee table and retrieve your phone, pressing the recording off. after, you reach for a few tissues and wipe soonyoung’s crotch with one hand, while staring at the other holding your phone. 

you tuck him back into his pants, giving him a smile as he stares at you with wonder like he just got a handjob from an angel. 

“that was good,” you tell him, turning your attention back to your phone. 

“are you kidding?” he replies. that gets your eyes to flick back to him. “you’re, like..” don’t ask what he’s saying because he doesn’t know either. “that was goated.” 

you close your eyes with a scoff in disbelief over his word choice. “thank you.” 

he finally sits up, moving to wrap his arms around your waist. you’ll come to learn he acts like a clingy sloth after he nuts. 

though, you shift in his hold, and he backs off when he realises he might’ve overstepped. you look more at ease once his arms fall off you, and he feels a pang of regret. 

you look up at him, flashing a smile that wipes the slate clean. 

“did you want to see?” 

you hold your phone up, no preamble as you press play on the video. his desperate noises echoed back at him and the slick sounds of you fisting his cock has him turning away instantly, flustered and horny all over again.

you get the hint, turning your phone off with a giggle. “i can send it to you if you’d like.”

“uh, sure.” it’s a good excuse for your number. and he’d be a god damn liar if he said he wouldn’t rewatch the fuck out of that video to jerk off.

“why’d you record anyways?” he asks, curiosity getting the better of him. a small part of him hopes you’ll flatter him and say it’s because he’s so hot you want to remember this moment forever.

you look a little taken aback that he’s asking, which slides back into your casual confidence. “to post it.”

he just stares at you: lights on, no one’s home. you crack up into laughter.

“i’m kidding, i wouldn’t dare without your permission.”

it feels like he’s swallowing a rock in his throat as he gulps. “you’re serious? where would you even..?”

“you know where.” you snicker, perplexingly casual about this whole thing. “you gonna go look me up now?”

yes. “um…”

thank god you don’t press him for an answer, instead just brushing it off with a giggle.

“since you’re asking, i’m a camgirl.” you go on. “i don’t usually record with anyone else. but i wanted to try something new.”

visuals of you naked and touching yourself on video flash through his mind against his will. the thought has him shifting his weight, trying to find any relief from his already damp pants. he felt like he was in heat or some shit.

you hold his face in your hands, pressing a sweet kiss to his lips. if you’re trying to sway him, it’s already working.

“that brings me to what i was gonna ask. it’s completely up to you, and don’t feel pressured, but i wanted to ask if i could post—”

“—go ahead.”

he practically shrugs it. for a moment, your eyes widen as his words register. once your grin splits across your face, soonyoung knows then he’d do absolutely anything you ask of him just to get this reaction out of you.

you squeal and pull him into a hug. his hand comes to rest on your back, his own smile pressed into your shoulder.

“don’t worry, i’ll crop it so your face isn’t in it.” you push back his hair, leaving pecks on his forehead. you’re really affectionate for a girl who approached him at a party with the sole intent of hooking up (and filming it?).

the urge to pry wafts through his mind — whether he should ask about what this means, if there’s any more of tonight in the near future, but he doesn’t dare break the moment. just sits there pliant in your hands as you kiss all over his face.

“before i forget to ask, could i get your number?”

“so forward,” you tease, “not just trying to get in my pants, are you?” like his whole dick wasn’t down your throat just a moment ago.

he chuckles, your thumb gliding over the swell of his cheeks as he smiled. “ah, guilty.”

it’s a known fact that soonyoung has a bad habit of thinking with his dick first and brain second. the one thing his exes could agree on is that he was the type to fold without a fight. all it took was one suggestive glance mid-argument and his mind would be wiped clean of any grievances. he’d walk to the ends of the earth with the promise of some pussy.

so when you asked if you could upload the video, he’d agreed without so much as a second thought. because in the moment, the thought of making you smile outweighed anything else.

only now, whenever it hit him that there was a literal sex tape of him online, his moans and his junk on display for strangers, his stomach twisted into knots.

he wasn’t exactly ashamed. more so.. embarrassed at how eager he was to please you. how quickly he undermined his own dignity in favour of not disappointing you.

he was battling and near losing against the urge to ask you out on a real date — but settles on an excuse to text you instead.

[ soonie ] hello ☺️ how’s the video doing?

seungkwan’s at his side right now, sulking about soonyoung paying more attention to his phone and trying to lean over his shoulder to see what could possibly be more important than him. really, he’s just nosey and figured soonyoung probably got your number.

three dots appear on the screen, and soonyoung all but bitchslaps him to thwart his thrashing to snatch the phone.

[ you ] hey! it’s doing really well, already pulling in a lot

one hand’s outstretched to keep a pouting seungkwan at arm’s length, the other’s holding his phone while he grins down at your reply.

he was about to think up another weak excuse to keep the conversation going when your next message landed:

[ you ] wanna get lunch soon? we can talk business

business. right. that was how you saw it. he needed this reminder.

he should’ve played it cool in front of seungkwan, should’ve at least pretended to think about it and left you on read for a few minutes to check his nonexistent schedule. seungkwan had wriggled past the grip on his forehead, so soonyoung could only send a thumbs up before quickly shutting off his phone.

luckily, when he checked it again after ducking from seungkwan’s flying kick and locking himself in the bathroom, you’d already taken the initiative to text him the when and where.

⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧

the café was noisy enough during the lunch rush that you could talk openly, though soonyoung still leaned in across the booth table like someone might kick you both out for discussing such debaucherous things in public.

he fiddled with the straw of his iced americano, drawing onto the condensation to avoid meeting your eyes. “so… how exactly do you get paid?”

you smirked over the rim of your own coffee, delighted by his curiosity. “why are you whispering like i’m a drug dealer?”

he stammers when he tries to backtrack, but you just laugh, putting him out of his misery. “it’s largely through subscriptions, with tips being pretty common. i also do private requests. the platform takes a cut of course.”

he nodded like he was taking mental notes, chewing on the end of his straw. “and you interact with your viewers? like, talk to them?”

“sometimes i go live just to talk to them. other times, only for the good stuff.” your smile tilted knowingly. “you’d be surprised how much i’ve been paid to just say someone’s name.”

soonyoung nods, the burning tips of his ears betraying his exterior of composure. he was itching to know if anyone had asked about him yet.

“pros and cons?” he croaks out instead.

you hum in thought. “the money’s great. so is the attention, and the flexibility too. i can masturbate in bed and have rent covered within the day.” soonyoung coughs, drink having gone down the wrong pipe. “otherwise, it’s draining. people thinking their money means they own you.”

he frowned at that, stabbing his straw into a melting cube of ice. “i don’t like that.”

“it is what it is.” you half-smile, leaning your chin onto your hand. “a girl’s gotta eat. i can pay the bills without having a day job, and also focus on my studies more.”

you keep indulging in playing twenty questions with soonyoung over your coffees. he begins to realise his grave mistake in ordering one since he was getting the nervous shits — face beet red as the conversation had steered to your collection of toys, you not even lowering your voice as people walked by and shot you sideways glances.

you’re in the middle of telling him a story about how you squirted once and the vibrator stopped working, but what’s weirder is soonyoung feels this pang in his chest. it doesn’t hurt; not like his stomach that’s churning with public anxiety, or his dick that’s been hard with no relief since you started talking about this.

the warm feeling swells in his heart and spreads through his veins. answering his questions without pause, giggling at his coy attempts for jokes, smiling as he does. even as you speak things out loud that’d give a pilgrim a heart attack, he can’t help but feel adoration. you’re so you. unapologetically. admiringly.

he suddenly asks, “how do you do it?”

you pause for a moment, regarding him. “oh, well i usually drink lots of water befo—”

he chokes on a cough as he rushes to stop that sentence before you finish it.

“not.. that,” he clears his throat, shifting in his seat awkwardly and being reminded of where he’s been straining against his pants. “i just mean, posting yourself. talking so openly about it, even inviting someone else into it. you’re just so…” sexy beautiful perfect hot god i want you please let me fu— “confident. like this whole thing wouldn’t be a big deal to most people.”

“because it’s really not.” you affirm coolly. there’s a hint of sternness there that makes his dick twitch to his own utter confusion. “i’m not harming anyone. if someone feels personally offended by how i make money, i kindly remind them that it’s only made possible by the demand.”

you chuckle. he does too, halfheartedly since he’s so caught up in that self-assured look in your eyes.

“i’ve had to explain that too many times,” you sighed, setting your empty mug aside. “let’s move on to business now?”

soonyoung straightened in his chair, suddenly hyperaware of how solemn your expression had turned. he nodded quickly, hands folding in his lap (to nervously fidget with his fingers out of sight).

“alright,” you start, leaning forward. “ground rules. if this is going to keep happening, we need to be on the same page.”

his pulse jumped at your choice of words: keep happening. he tried not to look too thrilled, but the corner of his lips upturned on their own. “got it.”

“what do you want out of it?”

he hesitated. the honest answer? you, in any way he can get. he’s a grown ass man with a budding crush, even though you skipped all the courting and dived straight to home base. but saying that was probably too sentimental for the arrangement in talks.

instead he swallowed and managed: “just more of what we had. it was— well, you already know.”

“yeah.” you sat back, satisfied with his answer. “then here’s how it’ll be: we keep it casual. we have our fun, record to post, and split the profit. easy.”

easier said than done, soonyoung thinks with a furrow of his brow. he’s never done anything less than serious, full-term commitment with someone he’s been interested in. he wouldn’t know what casual is even if it was lit up in neon lights.

“no strings attached,” you add firmly, like these exact words are no stranger to leaving your mouth. “i don’t do relationships.”

soonyoung nods along, though his chest aches in a different way now. “yeah, of course. that’s totally fine.”

“cool. what do you want your cut to be?”

“huh?”

“well, my subscribers ate the fuck out of the surprise cameo. i’ve made alot already because of you. if we have a deal, it’s only fair to share what i earn.”

“no, er, that’s okay. i wouldn’t ask that of you.”

you eye him curiously, waiting for him to think it over and have a change of heart. but soonyoung’s not so materialistic he’d charge you for his time like an escort.

he gets to sleep with a gorgeous girl who’s insanely out of his league, you get your money, everyone orgasms, it’s a win-win.

…maybe doing it all for some pussy was materialistic in a different way. but the point still stands.

“what a gentleman.” you tut, smirking. “you’re not gonna fall in love with me, are you?”

that’s the one deal he can’t agree to, so his only answer is a laugh. thankfully, you don’t push for anything else.

you stood to shuffle out from the booth, scooping up your things while soonyoung scrambled after you, one hand clutching his stomach.

“i gotta hit the bathroom first,” he muttered.

you laughed, practically announcing it to the surrounding café patrons. “better now than mid-thrust.”

a couple of heads turned, brows raised and mouth grimacing. before soonyoung could will himself to melt through the floor, you gave his bicep a squeeze on your way past.

“i’ll be waiting outside, soonie.”

⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧

the red light on the camera blinked at soonyoung as he watched you adjust its angle on the tripod. the room was cloaked in a deep purple from the LED lights lining your ceiling. he laid behind you on the bed propped up by his elbows, dick already half-hard with the knowledge of what you’re about to do to him. 

it’d be his second time being recorded and appearing on your account, though this would be the first time he’d get to have sex with you. 

he’s gone through the steps of this dance before, enough to have a reliable skillset and confidence in his abilities to make a woman happy — but you had this air to you, made him doubtful in his own capabilities. the looming audience in the form of a camera didn’t help either. 

“ready?” you asked, turning to face him on the bed. 

“yeah.” soonyoung murmured, shifting under the weight of your gaze. 

there’s a moment where you drink him in: teeth tugging your lip as your eyes drag over his body, lingering at the imprint forming at the front of his pants. he has to remind himself it’s just for show — to get him writhing for the sake of good content. 

your hands plant on the mattress, and you make a show of crawling up to him on the bed, your ass hiked in the air on full display for the camera. count him in as one of the first viewers for when you post this. 

your ass finds his lap once again, your knees bracketing his thighs. you cup soonyoung’s face for a tender moment before you’re diving in, lips finding his with an urgency he’s quick to match. 

the room fills with the sloppy, wet noises of your feral make-out. your fingers bury in his hair as his tongue breaches past your lips, and you swallow the pretty noise that leaves him when you give an experimental tug of his locks. soonyoung’s knuckles ached from where he’s been tugging at the sheets, aching to touch. 

he whines when you chew lightly on his lower lip, the sound blending into a gasp when your hips roll, clothed heat grinding down onto his lap. he can’t help himself to finally raising his hands, fingers finding your waist on instinct to guide you back and forth against him. 

you come off his lips with a wet smack, brows pinched together as you look at him. 

“hands stay there.” you murmur, returning them to the bed. 

he nods, the heat of embarrassment crawling up his neck. you swallow the sorry he tries to offer when you steal his mouth in a kiss. 

soonyoung continues to sit there, completely at your mercy as you ravage his neck and tug at his hair. your hips stay determined as they rut against him, and with each of your movements he has to restrain from flipping you both over and dryhumping you silly. not like he’d even get there — one suck of your lips below his ear and his pelvis is jolting, a whiney noise slipping from soonyoung as the warning pulses of his orgasm race to his dick. 

you recognise what’s happening and pull off. there’s an amused glint in your eye when his hands flex against the sheets, resisting the urge to reach for you. he sits there obediently as you tug his waistband and boxers down his thighs, and pull his sweater off over his head. he reminds himself to keep his hands to himself when you discard your own top — mouth watering at the sight of your bare chest. he leans forward, intending to take a nipple into his mouth without thinking. 

“lay back.” you order. he complies, breath coming out shallow when you wriggle out of your shorts and crawl back to your position above him — pussy glistening in the purple light. 

you reach for soonyoung’s pants and fish around in his pocket for the condom packet you requested he bring. you tear it open with your teeth, and he hisses from the faintest contact as you roll it down over his length. 

you prop yourself up by your knees and line up your core with him. soonyoung moans out when your hand grabs him by the base, gliding his tip through your folds and smearing with your arousal. he’s so worked up he could full well cum from it. a sharp whine from him is his way of asking you don’t tease him, and a snicker from you is your reply — nudging his head into the warm velvet of your pussy. 

he’s surprised he didn’t rip your sheets from how hard he gripped them as you sunk down on his cock, your lip bite the only evidence that he’s affecting you even a portion of the amount he feels. soonyoung lets out a filthy moan once you’re sat on his lap, his entire length buried inside you and pulsing like crazy. 

you breathe out a cuss, fingers splaying across his bare chest as you raise yourself deliberately slow, savouring the way his face contorts and his veins drag against your walls — before you drop back down with a loud slap of skin on skin.

“baby, fuck!—” soonyoung grits, cutting himself off with a moan as you set a gruelling pace on top of him. 

soonyoung’s head lolls back, his body surrendering as you fuck him. you catch him stammering the start of your name, and your hand flies out to wrap around his neck, the letters blending into strangled whimpers as your fingers press down into his pulse. 

distantly, he hears you panting out cusses and perhaps even small moans of your own, the noises sent from heaven. 

it’s been a hot minute since a girl’s done all the work for him, and the first time one’s ever choked him — so it’s no surprise that his orgasm sneaks up on him, soonyoung all but shouting as it overwhelms his body. his knuckles turn pale in the sheets as he cums, the rocks of your hips unrelenting as you fuck him through it — his condom filling up as he moans something between “baby” and “god”.

as he lays there, limp and heaving, he doesn’t even register you lingering on top of him until you’re suddenly moving to rise off him — soonyoung jolting from the sensation of your warmth moving up on his length. you clench down on him when you reach the tip, giggling at how his voice cracks with a whimper. 

“you’re perfect.” he exhales, head rolling to the side. you don’t answer as you slip the condom off of him and tie it into a knot. “the most perfect girl…” 

the bed shifts when you step off, clicking the camera off and tossing the spent condom into the bin. missing you, he cracks an eye open, watching you walk towards him with a packet of wet wipes. 

you sit on the edge of the bed as you clean soonyoung up, your fingers on the wipe the only physical contact as you keep your body at a distance. his stomach dips with something he can’t really name. 

you finally look at him. he can’t remember if you even directly met his eyes through all of the sex that just happened. he imagines how his must look right now, big brown eyes pleading. he’s almost surprised when you give him a soft smile. the camera’s off now — this one’s just for him. 

the curve of your lips falter when your eyes lower down his face, dropping to his neck. your fingers graze up, leaving featherlight touches on his pulse. you definitely felt how his heartbeat was hammering. 

“i’m sorry.” you offer. his face twists, confused. 

“why?” he asks, genuinely lost.

“we didn’t discuss choking. i shouldn’t of done that without asking.” 

“oh, no, hey— that’s fine. i think that’s when i came.” he reaches for you before stopping himself, hands hovering near your wrist. “i didn’t know i liked it.” 

“that’s why we should’ve talked about it,” you sigh, pressing a palm to your face. 

“okay, well i’m not upset, so you shouldn’t be either.” he replies matter-of-factly. you glance at him, giving a tired smile, before his chest lurches with realisation. “oh fuck, did you even cum?“

“i’m fine, soonie.” 

“that’s not fine, here let me—”

“—it’s seriously fine.” you reaffirm sternly. “i’ll take care of myself.” 

he backs down, dejected; cursing himself for not paying better attention and not caring about your pleasure and also being a lazy cunt who didn’t even try to—

“you wanna see my other camera?” you ask, cutting through his racing thoughts. it must’ve been evident with the deep frown on his face. 

“yeah.” he pipes up, crossing his legs on the bed like a kid ready for show-and-tell. you pull your shirt on before walking off towards your shelf, and soonyoung reaches for his own clothes to put on, zipping up his white sweater. 

when you return, you’re holding a polaroid camera — and soonyoung doesn’t have time to think before you’re snapping the shot. 

instinctively, he threw up a hand doing horanghae, though actually smiling for the photo had slipped his mind.

once the film slid out, you shook it and waited for the picture to bloom. your brows furrowed, lips twitching between amusement and confusion as you studied it.

“what? did it come out bad?” he asked with genuine concern.

“no, soonie, i’m just wondering what the fuck is that.” you flip the polaroid to him, pointing to how his hand is posed.

“oh that. it’s like an inside joke with my friends.”

“are you imagining groping them?”

“no no, it’s like tiger claws, since they all call me a tiger.”

he does it again, scrunching his nose and pinching his brows to play the part. he’s about to explain how it’s called horanghae when you snort with an amused glint in your eye.

“do they call you a furry too?”

“..that’s a new one.” he sighs. usually they (read: seungkwan) just call him an attention whore.

“so you’re a tiger, huh?” you smirk, playing into it. “i’ll remember it for next time.”

his mood lifts instantly. he might actually just cum on the spot over the thought of you calling him tiger in bed.

you hold the polaroid out to him. “did you want to keep it? it’s a very nice photo.”

“nah, that’s okay.” he brushes it off nonchalantly as if he couldn’t care less about material possessions, when in reality he was barely restraining the urge to snatch the polaroid from between your fingers.

damn, did he look sexy as fuck there. but the thought of you keeping a physical reminder of him, his heart just swelled over the thought. yes this was purely sex but he’s sentimental okay. he can indulge in the fact that his sneaky link slash crush keeps a polaroid of him doing his damn horanghae.

he was so bragging about this to the guys.

“bro, you fucking fumbled.”

“in front of the huzz is crazy.”

“she has a name!” soonyoung barked back at seokmin and seungkwan, who’d been tag-teaming him with insults over the fucking polaroid.

“yeah, are we gonna get to hear it this time?” seungkwan retorts, not the least bit expectant of an answer.

soonyoung had been weirdly cagey about revealing the identity of his mysterious lover. he’d told the guys that you’d been ‘hanging out’, refusing to elaborate further and answer any of their questions because he’d be physically unable to lie that it was more than just sex.

it’s not like they could just look up your name and find sights he’d much rather his best friends stay oblivious to — he just didn’t want to risk them recognising you from that same place.

soonyoung huffs, slinking back in his chair while seokmin gets to pouring them all another round in their glasses. he half wishes he dragged jihoon out of their dorm to come drink with him, it was a losing battle against these two. he wasn’t nearly distracted enough to keep his eyes from drifting your way.

as if on instinct, his eyes once again flit across the room to where you’re sat amongst a chattering group. you’ve returned exactly one of his longing stares — which was just a nod of recognition when you noticed him walk in. it’s been over an hour since then.

every time he told himself don’t look, he’d catch himself greedily stealing another glance at you across the room, laughing at some joke that couldn’t be any funnier than the ones he tells. it didn’t help that god damn jeonghan was at your side again; your fingers mindlessly playing with his gold bracelet, his mouth almost grazing your ear when he’d tell you something.

soonyoung has a near allergic reaction to seeing green. he hates the feeling of jealousy almost as much as he hates seungkwan — the former sizzling in his veins while the latter sang off-key across from him.

it’s pathetic, he knows it. he can’t help it.

he takes the initiative to drag himself towards the bar, ordering a shot to chase away the jealousy if not drown it out. he finds mingyu, friend of a friend, leaning against the counter with flushed cheeks and a glass in hand.

“yah, soonyoung! didn’t know you were here,” mingyu grins, evidently drunker than him.

“yeah,” soonyoung replied, downing his shot as soon as it landed in front of him. “needed it.”

they traded easy small talk: sport, their mutual friends, the bar playlist being garbage — until he finds himself clinking his third shot with mingyu’s glass.

though, with soonyoung, drinking alcohol was just as effective as waterboarding when it came to him spilling secrets.

“there’s this girl i’ve been seeing,” he admitted with a low voice, smirking. “she’s… something else, man. she’s got a thing for recording us while we, y’know. i didn’t realise i’d be into that before her.”

he laughed under his breath, sheepish, but also wired with a giddy kind of relief. he’d been dying to tell someone, and mingyu was safe enough — an acquaintance who’d listen, and also drunk enough to forget.

but mingyu’s grin slipped the second he said it. his eyes flickered past soonyoung for a brief moment, which he recognised as the corner where you’re sat with your friends.

soonyoung frowned, the sudden pulsing in his ears louder than the music. “what?”

he swears the tanned man’s face goes a few shades paler. when soonyoung hears your name repeated back to him, a pit opens up in his stomach.

your identity was such a well kept secret within his close circle of confidants, he’d completely overlooked the fact that your past ventures could be walking side-by-side with him on campus. and here he was having a fucking drink with one of them. 

sober him wouldn’t approve of talking about his fuckbuddy he’s kind of falling in love with right now — but unfortunately his face already translated his frantic thoughts into a hard expression, so there’s no backing out of it now.

“yeah.” is all he says. 

soonyoung doesn’t know what to expect from mingyu’s next move, but his first guess would’ve been far off from what he actually did — start crying. 

as mingyu broke down into drunken tears, soonyoung could only offer him an awkward side hug — shoving the rational part of his brain into timeout when it starts wondering if he might end up as the next mingyu, one day sobbing about his own heartbreak to someone else at the bar.

“she asked to record us too, but i said no.” mingyu manages to admit between sniffles. “i wanted to be exclusive and she ghosted me. i fumbled so fucking bad, man.” 

“i’m really sorry to hear that,” soonyoung offers, patting mingyu’s massive back while silently thanking him for messing up so that he can be tapping that ass before swatting the thought away. it’s not like him to be so crude. you must be rubbing off on him… not just physically.

“i deserved it though. her ex is one of my best friends. i shouldn’t have fucked around like that.” mingyu confesses with a trembling voice. 

soonyoung’s ears perk up at that. you had an ex? as in, someone you called your boyfriend? the same little miss ‘i don’t do relationships’?

soonyoung shouldn’t pry, because he knows he’ll just compare himself to whoever it is and might even fight him for your honour if he gets desperate enough, but his mouth asks before his conscience can catch up. 

when soonyoung asks if he knows who that is, all mingyu offers is: “i can’t tell you.”

whether that meant fate was working against soonyoung or was on his side, he did not know. but he keeps poking a stick at the wasp’s nest anyway.

“why?” soonyoung asks, too invested for mingyu to just brush him off. 

mingyu sighed with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “because if he found out i got with her, he’d fucking kill me.” 

soonyoung just nods, deciding that was the signal for another round of shots and a much needed change in topic.

he tries not to linger on the thought. can you not promise commitment because.. you’re saving soonyoung's life from your ex in doing so?

he realises he’s making far too many excuses for a relationship that’s meant to be strictly casual. especially since he’s seeing the repercussions of not honouring that deal sitting right next to him — attempting to persuade the bartender to just hand him the entire bottle of tequila instead of pouring it into his shot glass.

after failing in his bargaining and settling on downing a fourth shot (which soonyoung didn’t match this time), mingyu waved over two giggly girls from across the bar to wipe the slate clean.

they sidled into the space between him and soonyoung, voices lilting with chitchat, laughter spilling easy.

mingyu was more than eager to play along: leaning in, tossing lines that made the girls trade glances. soonyoung only spoke when spoken to. smiled enough to be polite, answered them but kept it short.

he could’ve indulged the girls — he knew how, and he might’ve even cheered himself up. but he didn’t even want to. not when all he could think about was still just you.

he wondered if you were watching, if your gaze would cut across the room and catch him like this. if it’d even put a dent in your shits to give. if you’d even care that he could so easily have another girl.

but why would you?

except, you do look. just once. soonyoung thinks his mind’s playing tricks on him when he catches it: your eyes entirely on him, face unreadable as you reach for your drink.

but then nothing. you don’t spare him a second glance for the rest of the night.

eventually, your group stands from their table as people begin to hug and say their goodbyes. he shamelessly watches you walk out the door, and in his drunken state he’s not even certain he’ll hear from you ever again until his phone buzzes in his pocket.

[ you ] i’m ready to go

you didn’t even come together. you didn’t even inform him that you were going out, it was just pure coincidence (luck in his case) that you ran into each other. but soonyoung doesn’t even hesitate when he gets your text.

in the next breath he’s slapping his knees like he just remembered something, ignoring the grumbles of his friends as he says he’s done for the night — when it was actually far from over for him.

⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧

from when he slid in the uber’s backseat next to you, when you walked to your front door and shoved him on it as you kissed him, when you kept your tongue in his mouth as you both stumbled inside and flopped onto the couch — there hadn’t been any words. 

you didn’t offer any, and soonyoung didn’t dare fill the silence if you were choosing the keep it that way. the only noise of the room was your lips smacking with heated kisses, soonyoung’s little muffled whines as you tugged at his hair and rutted in his lap. whatever you were drunk on had you impatient, and rough — the button popping off his pants as you tore his fly open, rolling his boxers down just enough to get his dick out, bobbing and shining with precum. 

you part with him for just a moment, turning to the coffee table to rummage through your bag. soonyoung takes the opportunity to finally catch his breath, hoping it might calm his nerves. not like he’d be the one doing the fucking as usual — it just felt like his heart was beating in his throat from how he felt a little scared of you right now. he was probably gonna cum quick because of it. 

he takes deliberate breaths to calm himself like just before he heads onto the field for a game, hearing minghao’s voice in his head directing him.

the ding of a phone recording cuts through his futile attempts to meditate. he takes notices of your phone propped up on your bag, and his eyes flick back to you at the sound of ripping plastic — you tearing open a condom packet then rolling it down his length. 

without much other warning, your hand fumbles beneath your dress to tug your panties to the side, and then you’re dropping down onto his cock. 

soonyoung has a full body jolt when he bottoms out, dick twitching like a warning that he’s not gonna take long. 

you start bouncing with an almost frustrated speed — each time slamming back down onto his cock hard enough to have soonyoung seeing the galaxy behind his eyes. 

little, helpless noises leave his mouth in a stream; and though he knows the rules, he can’t help himself to reaching for your waist to slow you, to stop you completely, anything to give him a breather before he cums now. 

but you don’t let up. you pry soonyoung’s palms off from your waist, closing one hand around both of his wrists before pinning them above his head. 

soonyoung shouts out as he topples off the edge, your walls clenching down around him and wringing him dry as he cums into the condom. 

he’s sure you must be trying to kill him, because it’s not enough to get you to stop. albeit you’ve stopped dropping down onto him, you’re instead rocking on his cock like you still haven’t found what you were after. he’s trembling all over, incoherently begging between whimpers as you keep moving on top of him, sighing when the head of his cock nudges that soft spot.

your freehand slips under your dress, fingers finding your clit to rub quick circles as you ride him. you moan breathlessly, and soonyoung’s wrists struggle against where you’re keeping them pressed firm above his head. if he had any life left in him he could so easily overpower you. he might cry from how badly he wished to touch you, to feel your skin under his hands. to make you cum himself. 

soonyoung’s long past sensitive when you finally cum, letting out a pretty moan at his ear as your pussy grips and flutters around him. 

you collapse on top of him, perhaps just as spent as he is. your grip on his wrists is loose enough for him to slip his hands out. he admires the view of you laid down in his lap, face pressed into his shoulder — and before he can convince himself not to, he reaches out to hold your back, rubbing soothing circles over your dress. and maybe it’s because you’re too drunk to swat him away, but you still let him. 

after a moment of you gathering yourself in the quiet, you reach for your phone and turn the recording off. soonyoung completely forgot that was there. 

when you raise your head to him, your eyes are glossy. soonyoung almost thinks it’s something else before you’re muttering: “i think i’m ‘bout to throw up..” 

soonyoung hisses from the sensitivity as you hastily slip him out, then you’re darting down the hall and slamming the bathroom door behind you — water rushing from the tap not long after. 

soonyoung takes the liberty to slip the condom off and wipe himself up with tissues from the box on your coffee table. by the time he’s put his clothes back into place and thrown the rubbish out, you’re still in the bathroom. he decides to just wait for you on the couch until you kick him out. 

he flops back down on the cushions, head pulsing with a headache and all those shots he did with mingyu. 

his mind swirls with thoughts. how different you might act if the camera wasn’t there. if you’d even want him outside of that. how badly he wants you anyways. but he forces it all down, because he wants to keep this up. if he drags feelings into it he’ll never see you again. he made a promise to you to not ruin it. 

he yawns, eyelids suddenly weighing heavy. before he drifts off into sleep, soonyoung thinks about you one last time — just how different you acted this time.

and he wondered if maybe, you were… jealous. 

the conveniency about hooking up with a camgirl is that you’ve got a special selection of porn at the tap of a finger.

he’s been missing you like hell lately. so far, your arrangement consisted of meeting up once per week to film and get your rocks off. it made for a consistent posting schedule and money flow, so there was really no need to see each other outside of the minimum. you never asked until it was time. soonyoung asked once, yesterday — now to his complete and utter regret.

0.3 seconds after he got the notification for your newest upload, he was getting up to lock his door and loosening the strings on his sweats.

it’s a solo video of you masturbating. soonyoung jerks off to the rhythm of your hand — albeit a little pathetically since you’ve been ghosting him for an entire day after he asked if you’d like to hang out.

not code for getting in your pants. just genuinely spend time together and enjoy each other’s company. no reply.

clearly you hadn’t dropped off the face of the earth. but hey, wishful thinking: maybe you’re just fully committed to an extreme edging sesh right now, cutting yourself off from the world. soonyoung doesn’t judge. it’s actually kinda hot thinking about it.

…he needed to get a fucking grip.

he could almost go soft over the embarrassment, if only he was still hard. he busted barely a minute into the video of you fingering yourself. well.

man, he missed you.

there’s no excuse to see you. there’s no reason he should be asking. but for him, intimacy and sex are inseparable — he can’t just do one with you while starving for the other. he needed an outlet. needed to prove to himself that if he was ever going to get it up on camera again, he had to see you for something other than just sex.

he should’ve never accepted this damn offer. all these muscles are for catching feelings. was it so greedy to want more than just your body? to wonder if he actually got along with you past just physical chemistry? call it suffering from success.

soonyoung opens up your chat, cringing at his offer to hangout still sitting there unread. maybe he had to just accept his fate. at least he already jacked off, now he won’t have to worry about cumming the instant he slides in to you.

[ soonie 🐯 ] wanna fuck you so bad

he literally can’t look at his phone once it turns delivered. he should’ve asked jihoon to tie his hands. actually, nevermind, he might start to think about you and get hor—

all of his regret evaporates the millisecond he hears his phone ding with a reply.

[ you ] ok so come over?

well, he’d have to go and admit himself to a mental hospital if he even considered turning you down. 

⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧

“you’re doing all the work this time,” is how you greeted soonyoung when you opened the door. 

you didn’t say much else in between setting up the camera on the tripod and dropping your clothes to the floor under the violet LEDs. he watched you with caution (cock indifferent and hard anyways), like he’s convinced this is too good to be true and he’s waiting for the catch. 

once you were in recording mode, you laid down naked and propped up by your elbows — stomach to the bed and ass to the air. after a minute of nothing but stunned silence from soonyoung’s end, you glared at him over your shoulder as if to ask what the fuck he’s doing. you got him to move with a single look, shucking off his entire fit to join you on the sheets. 

soonyoung crawled on top of your back, mindful to anchor his weight in his hands to not crush you, cock prodding the meat of your ass and smearing precum across the skin. 

he keeps his hands twisted into the sheets as he catches your lips from behind, you craning your neck to meet him halfway as you kiss him. you hum when he licks into your mouth, letting him kiss you hard enough to have your head tilting back. he must’ve caught you in a good mood if you’re letting him act on his own accord, taking what he’s giving you. 

his hips find themselves square with yours; and with a mindless rut the length of his cock glides over your folds, tip nudging at your clit. you let out a pretty noise down soonyoung’s throat, and fuck, does he want to find out just how much louder he can get you. 

curious, he keeps grinding into you with deliberate rolls of his hips, applying enough pressure to your clit to have your fingers twisting into the sheets next to his. you’re moaning softly into the kisses now, and soonyoung’s sure he could cum like this. but he’s got a better idea. especially if you’re letting him make the moves today. 

he starts with a tentative kiss to your neck. you give a pleased hum, egging soonyoung on to leave wet heat across the curve of your shoulder, barely restraining himself from latching on to the skin and leaving his mark. 

he stamps kisses down your back, trailing his tongue down your spine, delighting in how your back arches at the heat of his mouth. carefully, he plants a hand on the back of your thigh, inching your legs apart. he’s crawled down to be at face-level with where he’s aching to taste you, and when his heavy breath hits your bare cunt, you’re twisting in his hold. 

“what are you—?” 

“let me?” he sighs out, careless to how desperate he sounds. he’ll get on his knees at the foot of the bed right now if he has to. “please.” 

you’re laying on your side as you regard him, brows furrowed and thighs pressing together almost imperceptibly. 

“please.” he repeats, breathless. “please let me take care of you. i really want to.” 

your lip twitches, face gradually softening. a good sign. 

you give a silent nod, and soonyoung’s sighing out the breath he’d been holding with a smile. 

you lay your head back down while soonyoung shifts below you, palm planted on your thigh and thumb stroking the skin softly to keep himself grounded. you’re almost shy with how your knees barely part. soonyoung makes do, wedging his head between the small gap between your legs until his breath’s fanning your pussy — evidently glistening with arousal, even under the heady purple lights. 

like the gentleman he was brought up to be, soonyoung leaves a gentle kiss on your clit first, smile stretching at the soft moan from above. he gathers the slick at your hole, swirling his tongue at your heat before licking a hard stripe upwards. 

he repeats the motion until you’re writhing above him, his palm tightening on your thigh to keep you in place when he starts to bob his head, tongue flattening as he laps at your clit. 

he all but pins your leg to the mattress as your hips twist and jolt under his mouth — your other leg bent at the knee and pressing at his ear, locking his head between your thighs. he’d die a happy man if you suffocated him. 

soonyoung switches between quick kitten licks of his tongue and closing his lips to suck on the bundle of nerves, fired up by the string of moans falling from your mouth. he’s determined to make up for all the times you’ve fucked when you just helped yourself to an orgasm. it’s not like he’s been less than eager to please you; he just didn’t want to ick you out by constantly offering when it seemed a no was all he could get out of you. 

maybe you’re warming up to him. maybe him asking to hangout hadn’t gone completely ignored. maybe.. he can change your mind. 

soonyoung hadn’t even realised he was rutting into your mattress until he feels that familiar tightening in his lower abdomen. your thighs are clenching around his head now, fingers buried into his hair as he eats you out like a man starved. soonyoung’s chin is covered in saliva and slick, face buried in your cunt: his tongue fucking into your hole, nose nudging your clit enough for you to be whining above him. 

your hand clenches into a fist at his scalp and he’s sure there’ll be a bald patch, but he’s undeterred — licking up to your clit before, impulsively, snaking his hand to your crotch and slipping a finger into your pussy. 

you’re vibrating around him, body buzzing with heat and mouth moaning with a mind of its own. his hips have one too; fucking into your mattress with the same force he would if he was inside you instead. when your immediate reaction isn’t to shove him away, soonyoung’s confident enough to have a second finger join the first. and when he curls them, massaging that soft spot of flesh inside, you’re completely and utterly gone. 

soonyoung’s diligent as you cum on his mouth, forcing himself to keep pace to lick and finger you through it. on the tail-end of your orgasm, he can’t hold off on his own any longer — a loud groan rumbling on your clit as he shoots ropes onto your sheets. he has to hold back on saying something as stupid as i love you from just how hard he cums. 

afterwards, you both lay there, boneless and heaving; covered in sweat and spit. 

“you’re so fucking hot, oh my god.” soonyoung gets out between laboured breaths. “please tell me you’ll let me do that again.” 

he continues to ramble as his head lolls onto your thigh, showering you in praise — that you tasted better than he could’ve imagined, that he must’ve saved the world in a past life to deserve a beautiful girl like you, as well as speaking his prior thoughts out loud of how he’d die happily from suffocation between your thighs. 

you take it all with a still face that doesn’t reveal much. you sit up, patting soonyoung’s head and reminding him of where his scalp’s been stinging from where you tugged it. 

you all but brush his words off. not in a rude way, but just.. impassive. 

“don’t say shit you don’t mean, alright.” 

he’s genuinely confused. he didn’t think he was lying. soonyoung raises his head and cocks it, glancing up at you. “why wouldn’t i mean it?” 

“you talk nonsense after you cum.” you deadpan. 

well, you weren’t wrong. there’s been a few times now where he’s rolled over after sex and said things that would have his ancestors shaking their heads, all while the camera’s still rolling. (you graciously cut those parts out before uploading it of course). 

but those instances don’t include him praising you like this. he meant what he said. he doesn’t know how else he can convince you. 

you’re already up and clicking the camera off, glancing back at soonyoung as he sits up on the bed — then arching a brow at the stain next to him. 

“my bad, i’ll.. clean that up.” 

“and you can pay for my dry cleaning bill.” you snicker, handing him a box of tissues. “did you really get naked just to eat pussy?” 

he sighs, flustered. “well, that’s not what i was planning to do but uh… it felt right. i guess. i’ve been wanting to for a bit.” he also imagined he’d get to fuck you afterwards and not just make a mess of himself. 

you smile, and he catches you try to stifle it. it has him smiling too. 

you’re in an even better mood now since you let him join you in the shower instead of just sending him home afterwards like he’d grown used to. you even ask what he felt like for lunch, letting him stay over as you waited for the delivery driver. 

soonyoung laid next to you on the bed as you scrolled on your phone and he pretended to do the same, stealing glances of you in his peripheral. he could get used to this. 

you surprise him when you pull your polaroid camera from your bedside table, raising it before he can think to strike a pose. 

this time when you snap a polaroid of him, it’s weighted with something sweet, too tender to just laugh off. something about the way you eye the film as it fades in makes his chest tighten. there’s really no use pretending anymore.

from the moment you met, soonyoung had been lying to you, and to himself. he can’t have sex and keep his heart out of it. matter of fact, it’s wrapped entirely around your finger.

“you look so boyfriend here,” you tell him with a giggle.

his heart starts breakdancing in his chest. are you trying to suggest something..? is this your way of…

“what does that mean?” he asks instead of getting on his knees and thanking god for returning your feelings.

your smile shifts into something different, it’s not lost on him. the hopeful lilt in his voice wasn’t exactly missable. you realise that he’s getting in his head over it.

“i’m just calling you hot.” you say, your former playfulness replaced by something more cautious. “like, it’s a domestic type of hot.”

“oh.”

“yeah.” you purse your lips. he’d sacrifice his left testicle to hear what’s going on in that head of yours right now.

but then the doorbell’s ringing with the arrival of the delivery driver. you don’t bring it up again over lunch, and he doesn’t dare ask. even if it’s all he can think about for the rest of the day until he’s knocked out asleep. 

soonyoung starts to wonder if he’s getting through to you. it was you who soft launched calling him your boyfriend the other day. and if he wasn’t literally going insane, he’d know for certain that there’s some unacknowledged feelings there on your end.

and what’s weirder, you actually invited him to join you at the sunday markets this morning. if you ask him, it’s a date. you had called it extended foreplay, because of course, you won’t see him if it’s not sex. you joked that all of this hanging out is just ‘buildup’ to the main event — though soonyoung’s not so convinced this time.

you keep pace with him as you strolled through the stalls. you looked whenever he’d point out a trinket that caught his eye, listened whenever he’d talk your ear off about nothing of importance. turned down all of his offers to buy you anything your eyes lingered on for more than a second. 

when passing by a flower stall, you had directed soonyoung’s attention to a pot of orange speckled tiger lilies, giggling when he literally jumped in the air with excitement. the thoughtfulness behind it made him feel all warm and sappy. if you really don’t feel the slightest drop of affection for him, then you must be a world class manipulator.

soonyoung was walking next to you with an air of confidence. you’d never been so affectionate with him outside the confines of a bedroom, let alone just inviting him to share your free time. admittedly, it got to his head, and he got too comfortable being let into your space. mindlessly, he dared to slide his hand at the back of your waist whilst you waited for your order at a food van.

his heart fell to his ass when his fingers grazed the fabric of your dress. he completely forgot he was meant to keep his hands to himself when you weren’t alone.

but to his complete and utter disbelief, instead of turning around and ripping soonyoung a new one — you leaned in to his touch, letting him cradle the small of your back in his palm. he almost fist-pumped the air. crazy how a gentle touch like this was a more difficult feat to accomplish than literally cumming inside of you.

maybe he was melting the walls of ice little miss ‘i don’t do relationships’ had built. you’re a busy woman, he knows you wouldn’t waste time like this if all you wanted was dick. maybe, just maybe, this wasn’t as one-sided as he thinks.

“yah, funny seeing you here.”

or maybe he’s just a fucking idiot and it means nothing at all — seeing as you’re moving off from soonyoung’s hand the instant you hear jeonghan’s voice call out to you, greeting him with an excitement that makes soonyoung think violent thoughts.

jeonghan slides into your space without apology, pulling you into a hug that you don’t even have to blink to return. his hand snakes down and smothers the touch soonyoung had left on your waist.

the second before you pull away, jeonghan’s eyes flick open to meet soonyoung’s stare — mouth pulling into a faint smirk. there’s no way he didn’t do that shit on purpose.

“soonyoung, hey.” jeonghan drawls as your bodies part, offering soonyoung his hand. you start towards the food van as your number’s called. once you’re out of earshot, jeonghan mutters, “i’ve heard alot.”

soonyoung only loosely takes his hand, and it barely even shakes since jeonghan doesn’t move either. he snickers — an infuriatingly cocky sound. soonyoung’s hand burns as he lets go of jeonghan’s, the ‘heard alot’ comment playing on loop, bass-boosted in his head. soonyoung hadn’t heard diddly squat about jeonghan past his name and being your best friend.

this was bad.

despite jeonghan being the intruder here, soonyoung had ended up feeling like he was third wheeling. once you returned to the two boys, you wordlessly handed your takeaway coffee to jeonghan, as if preempting him asking for a sip. he watched jeonghan’s lips touch where yours had been, green flash-banging his mind (jealousy and nausea).

you even let him readjust the lopsided strap of your dress, not even flinching as he reached for your shoulder and his fingertips grazed your skin.

had you just not warmed up to soonyoung like this yet? he knows jeonghan’s been in your life for years after all. but what had it taken for you to get to this point of comfort, trust? did you just not like soonyoung the same? what did he lack that you found in—?

“LIKE YOU’VE BEEN SHOT—”

the chorus of bangbangbang blasting from soonyoung’s pocket gives him a full body shock. you and jeonghan throw him amused looks as he fumbles around in his pants to fish out his phone, frantically sliding the alarm off.

it was a reminder to email an assignment due in 30 minutes, which he had completely forgotten about until now. he was supposed to spend his morning editing the fucking thing — before you texted, of course.

his entire day belonged to you the instant he read your invitation to see you for something that wasn’t sex. maybe this was a sign to have a serious think about his priorities.

as soonyoung’s about to explain this to you (still giggling over his alarm being bangbangbang), his luck is just the gift that keeps on giving when there’s a sudden gust of wind — effectively cutting him off.

but then it gets even better. your fucking dress flies up in the wind. and before soonyoung can even think to react (he won’t admit to himself that he froze at the sight of your thighs), jeonghan’s there first, pulling the skirt of your dress down.

you both giggle about it, and oh, does soonyoung feel like he’s walked in on something.

“nothing i havent seen before,” jeonghan smiles, eyes flicking over to soonyoung.

now what. in the fuck. was that supposed to mean.

“LIKE YOU’VE BEEN SHOT—”

soonyoung groans in frustration as he tears his phone from his pocket, making sure he actually shut the alarm off this time instead of accidentally swiping to snooze it again.

when he starts considering how much his current grade would be impacted if he just missed the due date on this assignment by staying here, there’s a brief flicker of a voice that shouts some sense back into him (probably jihoon’s).

“hey, i’ve gotta get going,” he finally gets to tell you.

“i gathered.” you chuckle. jeonghan shoots you a knowing glance that you don’t return. thank god, or else soonyoung would feel have to air the block out from how embarrassed he is right now.

he lingers, trying to find any words that aren’t just cusses directed at jeonghan.

the older of the two must sense something, since he pulls soonyoung into a half-hug, arm coming around his side to pat his back. close. intentional.

his chin dips to soonyoung’s ear. “i had it first, you know.”

when he pulls off, that damn smile could’ve convinced soonyoung himself that he was just hallucinating hearing that. but he knows what he said.

jeonghan was fucking trouble with a bob.

his farewell to you is much less remarkable. just a simple wave and bow of his head when he wishes he could kiss you with tongue right in front of your estrogen male ass best friend.

on the drive home, in which he drove in silence and cut off a poor old lady in his frustration, soonyoung couldn’t stop thinking on it. ended up sending a half-edited draft 7 minutes after it was due anyways because the words on the screen kept blurring together.

jeonghan’s your best friend, so obviously he’s gotta know about your side hustle. especially if it’s nothing he hasn’t seen before. like, what the fuck does that even mean? he thought he was just assuming the worst when he saw you two interacting and instantly thought there was sexual tension.

do you have the same no-strings-attached arrangement with him? do you film with him? do you prefer him? is he better than soonyoung?

if that was all just ‘extended foreplay’ like you said, you’ll probably be pent-up and have to release your energy onto the closest guy available which would be jeong—

“you good in there?”

the sound of jihoon’s voice from the door cuts through soonyoung’s racing thoughts.

he finds himself bent over the sink, throat burning with bile and gagging as he fights off the urge to hurl over the thought of what you must be up to with jeonghan.

“‘m fine,” he calls back, not sounding the slightest bit convincing.

“bro, i had my headphones on with the music at max volume and i still couldn't tune you out.”

“uhh..”

the door knob turns as jihoon grabs it on the outside, and the both of them realise that soonyoung forgot to even lock the damn thing.

“i’m coming in.”

soonyoung regards himself in the mirror then. his eyes are watery, face flushed pink with hair sticking to his forehead from sweat. he looked like shit. jihoon tells him as much when he stepped in.

“what’s happened?” jihoon appears behind him in the mirror, meeting soonyoung’s eyes through their reflections. “is this.. that girl?”

just that girl. jihoon doesn’t have a name or face to match to you — doesn’t even know what soonyoung could see in you since your identity’s a mystery. but he knows just how much soonyoung adores you, how much the casual sex means to him for whatever reason. even if it’s got him bent over the sink, nauseous. it’s why jihoon treads lightly as he speaks.

“yeah, uh,” soonyoung runs a shaky hand through his damp hair. he wishes he was vomiting right now so he wouldn’t have to admit this out loud instead. he gulped. “she might be seeing another guy.”

for all he knew, it could’ve been guys, plural. he gags over the sink again, catching jihoon’s face twist in the mirror.

“aish, man.” he shook his head and walked up to his best friend, planting a hand on his shoulder. soonyoung resists the urge to just spin around and kidnap jihoon in a hug. but he’d hit him for it, and he’s in enough pain on the inside. so he settles for just nuzzling his head onto where jihoon’s fingers sit atop his shoulder.

“you can’t.. see another girl too?”

jihoon was just as much as a devout romantic as him — maybe even worse off since soonyoung at least didn’t write songs about his ex. jihoon should understand him more than anyone. but really, he’s not coming from the wrong place.

it’s not like soonyoung signed a contract for his dick to get hard for you and only you from this point forward. or for his heart to start beating like it’s about to give out when you smile at him or laugh at his unfunny jokes or look at him likes he’s the only one you want too.

he wishes it would just abruptly stop pumping when he remembers that just as you never laid out rules for him to not see anyone else, he hadn’t done the same. not like he had any right to, but it was too late now. he’s fallen so hopelessly for a girl he could’ve been sharing this entire time for all he knows.

“i can’t get over her,” soonyoung croaks out, both to jihoon and to himself. “she drives me crazy but she’s all i want and i can’t do anything about it. just let her have me whenever she asks.”

jihoon sighs. “that’s grim.”

“i’ve read way worse in the songs you wrote about—”

jihoon swats the back of his head, and a laugh bubbles from soonyoung’s chest.

“alright. i should probably have a shower,” soonyoung starts, already moving to peel his shirt over his head.

jihoon groans. “just don’t use all the fucking hot water like the last time you cried in there.”

“my bad.”

the door shuts with a click, soonyoung checking his phone as he moves to turn the lock.

[ you ] hey u free now?

thank god jihoon’s on the other side of this door so he can’t stare soonyoung down with disappointment as he types a reply.

[ soonie 🐯 ] be over soon

like a dog to a bone.

⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧

it’s almost pathetic how soon he’s there after receiving your text. you don’t offer any words as you tug him inside by his collar, already burying your hands under his shirt as you greet him with a kiss. 

the camera’s already set up and recording by the time you get him onto your bed. you don’t waste any time in getting straight to the main event. not that he’s complaining, but he can’t help but think. he’s been doing that alot these days in between seeing you. 

he wonders if maybe you asked someone else first and soonyoung only got a text because that person was busy. or maybe you just asked soonyoung because he doesn’t even question it, because he doesn’t make you wait when you ask. 

soonyoung finds himself reaching for your hand as he fucks you, and you might not even notice his fingers curling around your palm as you moan underneath him, eyes screwed shut. 

he wonders if maybe you’re picturing someone else behind those eyes. 

despite the thoughts swirling relentlessly in his head, soonyoung doesn’t allow himself to cum until you get there first. he’s so out of it that it’s your real name he moans as the fills up the condom inside you. 

you lay there, stiff and quiet, while soonyoung’s still shuddering from the aftershocks of his orgasm and something else you don’t immediately realise. his face is buried in the crook of your neck, and when he wets your shoulder, that’s when you’re turning your head towards him. 

“soonyoung, are you crying?” 

“no.” he sniffles. 

you slide him off your body, leaving him laying on the bed as you reach for the camera to click the recording off. it was no good to post anyways since he called you by your name. 

you huff, frustrated. “you could’ve told me if now was a bad time—”

“it’s not that.” he sits up. you almost flinch, seeing his red-rimmed eyes and trembling bottom lip. “of course i wanted this. god, i want you all the damn time—” 

he shakes his head at himself. you just stand there, taken aback. 

“where is this coming from?” 

“where hasn’t it come from??” he raises his voice momentarily before cooling over. when he speaks again, his voice is barely there. “do you even want me?”

“soonie, i literally just came on your dick—”

“but do you like me? is it because it’s me or because i say yes when your other boys don’t? you know i’d never turn you down. and i feel stupid.” 

“what the fuck do you mean ‘my other boys’??” you all but shout, incredulous. 

“well i gathered that i’m not the only one, right? you might post me but that’s not stopping you from seeing who you want outside of it.” 

you just shake your head with a scoff, eyes burning with something between offence and disbelief. “like who, huh?” 

you’re daring him to take the bait. he should’ve choked himself out before he did exactly what you were hoping he wouldn’t. 

“jeonghan.” he replies. 

your lip curls, and you smile, though there’s nothing but anger in it. 

“why? you think i’d just let anyone fuck me, is that it?” 

“that’s not what i—”

“—get out.” you spit. 

for a moment, soonyoung just sits there, eyes losing focus as the room becomes a whirring blur around him. 

“alright. but i’m not doing this anymore.”

you watch him in a stunned silence as he moves to gather his clothes from around the floor.

“what?” you finally reply. 

“i can’t keep doing this.” he keeps his eyes trained on his clothes as he rushes to tug them on his body. if he looks up at you, he knows he’ll have second thoughts. “it’s killing me.”

he keeps his head bowed as he walks past you to retrieve his keys and phone from the dresser. 

“we had a deal—”

“fuck the deal!” he snaps, finally turning to you. he has to keep his gaze ahead, to stare through you. your body’s still bare, and your face is etched with something that’d make his chest ache to see. 

he goes on, “i can’t keep seeing you just once per week and tolerate you ignoring me outside of that when i’ve had a massive fucking crush on you since we met. and yeah, i can’t believe i’m saying this out loud either. but all i wanna do is be around you and talk to you and make you laugh and i know you don’t want the same. so we should just stop wasting each other’s time.”

he gulps, trying not to think about how your frown grew even deeper with his words. “i’m sorry for disrespecting your rules. i wasn’t honest with you, and i’m sorry.” 

that’s all he leaves you with as he turns to leave, seeing himself out. you don’t call after him either. 

jihoon finds out the following day when he comes home from the gym and unwillingly showers in ice cold water despite the hot knob being turned to full blast.

he knocked once on soonyoung’s door, waited for a beat of silence, then opened it anyway. the room’s pitch-dark except for the faint glow of his phone. 

soonyoung’s wrapped in a blanket cocoon, earbuds in. jihoon can just make out eyes, nose, lips bleeding from where he must be playing it in his ears at full blast.

jihoon quietly closes the door again. this was above his pay grade. it was time to call for backup.

a few minutes later, the cavalry arrives — seungkwan and seokmin storm in, flicking the lights on and yelling his name loud enough to guarantee a noise complaint.

they smother him immediately: hugs, head pats, a few hits to the arm. 

when they all finally settle down, soonyoung’s on his computer chair facing the three of them lined up on his bed like an intervention panel.

he cracks without much coercion. it all comes spilling out: the truth about you, how you met, what you do, the filming, the fight, all of it. by the time he’s done, his ears are burning.

seungkwan snaps his fingers. “i knew i’d heard of her before!”

soonyoung cringes, burying his face in his hands. “please don’t tell me you’ve seen...”

“what— yah, what are you saying?” seungkwan’s face twists in disgust. “i meant i’d heard she was a camgirl. from someone else.”

“oh.” he’s too shellshocked to express the sheer amount of relief he feels. 

“i was gonna tell you that night at the party before she came over to the table,” seungkwan continues, shrugging. “but then you started seeing each other, so i figured she told you. didn’t think you were game to being posted though.”

“me neither,” soonyoung admits with a coy laugh.

seungkwan rolls his eyes. “seriously. ‘don’t tell me you’ve seen’, who do you think i am?”

“yeah, who do you think he is?” seokmin pipes up. “you know he doesn’t watch porn with women.”

“can you both not—”

“what was her name?” jihoon cuts in, voice low and serious. 

the question stills the room. soonyoung tells him without much else thought. but the second he does, jihoon’s expression falls — and soonyoung’s stomach with it.

for a split second, he worries jihoon might know you from some past hookup — or god forbid, your side hustle. but the truth turns out to be so much worse than anything his panicked brain could’ve imagined. 

“that’s seungcheol’s ex.” jihoon sighs. 

oh. 

oh, of course. of fucking course.

his brain scrambles through the connections — seungcheol, his team captain, built like a small mountain and fueled by pure anger issues. if he finds out soonyoung’s been sleeping with his ex, he’ll probably turn him into a cautionary tale. 

he remembers it all clearly now. seungcheol’s endless rants about his high school sweetheart who broke his heart, about you. the jealous sulking, the bitterness over you moving on ‘too fast’, convinced you were cheating on him with your best friend — jeonghan, he realises. 

it all clicks into place. no wonder you don’t do relationships. no wonder you got so defensive when soonyoung accused you of sleeping around. he’d hit a bruise seungcheol left before it could fade.

soonyoung sighs, dragging a hand down his face. he owed you an apology written in the fucking stars. except, he might actually just be the next face on a milk carton. and hey, the pussy is to die for, but he’d much prefer if he could live to tell you he’s sorry for drawing conclusions. 

“hey,” jihoon’s voice pulls him back. “cheol hasn’t talked about her in ages. trust me, i’d know — mingyu complained whenever he would. but i haven’t heard a thing in months. i’d say he’s over it. the worst that could happen is you get benched for a few weeks.” 

“yeah, and if she’s been seeing anyone else, we’d have heard cheol sulking about it by now.” seokmin adds.

soonyoung chews his lip, hesitating. “well, i know she at least slept with mingyu.” 

the silence that follows is short-lived.

“wait— what?!” seungkwan practically shrieks, covering his mouth. “you’re kidding. mingyu? oh my god, that’s who he wouldn’t talk about?”

seokmin chuckles and pats soonyoung’s back hard, earning an oof from him. “then what are you stressing about? cheol’s got bigger fish to fry.” 

“okay, yeah. that’s worse.” jihoon clears his throat. “anyway, forget him. he’s old news. what matters is you and her — and it sounds like you both weren’t totally honest with your feelings.”

soonyoung slumps in his chair. “are you just saying that to make me feel better?”

“i’m saying she did more than just sleep with you when that was against her own rules. if there were really no strings on her end, she’d have let you go without an argument.”

and jihoon’s right. you might’ve kept things casual on the surface — one night a week, no labels — but there were cracks in the lines you drew. the polaroids, stealing him from the bar after a girl flirted with him, showering together and ordering takeout. calling him so boyfriend with a genuine smile, the weekend market date before he blew it all up. 

it wasn’t nothing. maybe you liked him more than you were prepared for. things probably could’ve naturally progressed into a relationship with time if soonyoung had just kept his trap shut. 

seokmin hums, shaking him by the shoulder. “go see her. you’re outnumbered here. and if she turns you down, you can blame all of us.”

soonyoung huffs a laugh, the weight on his chest easing a little. “yeah. okay.”

“right.” seungkwan slaps his knees, rising. “who else needs a drink?”

⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧

you open the door to find soonyoung standing there: hair a mess, eyes big and pleading. in his hands is a box of polaroid film and the bouquet you’d been eyeing off at the markets last weekend — the one you kept circling back to yet refused to let him buy for you.

“i’m an idiot,” he blurts before you can even say anything. “and i jumped to conclusions and i didn’t follow your rules and i’m really, really sorry.” the words tumble out fast, like he’s racing against the door you could still slam in his face.

you lean against the doorframe, crossing your arms. the ghost of a smile tugging at your lips. “did you practise that?”

“no. just panicked the whole way here.”

a beat passes. you sigh, stepping aside. soonyoung exhales a breath of relief and follows you in.

you each sit on opposite ends of the couch, neither sure how to start. he sets the flowers and the film on your coffee table, fiddling with the hem of his shirt.

“i shouldn’t of assumed,” he says finally. “you told me what this would be, and i had no right to expect anything from you outside of it.”

you look at him. “you thought i was fucking others.”

he flinches. “i didn’t— okay, yeah, i did. but it was a stupid thought and i didn’t want to. it’s just, jeonghan said—”

you let out a dry laugh. “oh, of course he did.”

he looks confused, and that almost makes it worse — because he doesn’t know what that name stirs in you. you press your palms against your knees, steadying yourself. “seungcheol used to accuse me of the same thing. about jeonghan. about anyone who looked at me for longer than two seconds, actually. he never trusted me.”

“seungcheol—”

“don’t.” your voice is sharp. then softer: “that’s why it pissed me off so much when you said it. you don’t know how much it reminded me of him.”

he nods slowly, eyes on his hands. “i get it now. i’m really sorry.”

you study him for a long moment. his shoulders are hunched, his voice small — it’s strange, seeing him like this after everything.

“i’m… selective,” you say finally. “with who i sleep with. i don’t just, do it. i liked you. that’s why i was so sure of it the night we met. i hadn’t done that in, i don’t know. a long while.”

you grimace to yourself, and soonyoung recognises that you must be referring to your lapse with mingyu.

silence again. not the cold kind — just heavy, charged.

“i haven’t slept with anyone else since i met you,” you admit. “i couldn’t. it scared me, how much i cared. you made it feel different.”

“me neither.” he looks up at you then, something splitting open in his chest. “you did too. i don’t think i ever believed i could handle casual. i just wanted to be close to you, however i could.”

you let out a breath, a small smile tugging at your mouth. soonyoung dares to inch closer to you on the couch, scooting over until his knee’s nudging yours. you watch his hand creeping over to yours, letting him hook a finger around your pointer.

“so where do we go from here?” soonyoung asks, voice soft.

“baby steps.” you reply. “we’ll just do what feels right.”

neither of you speak it out loud, but you both agree — there’s the outline of something exclusive now. not like it wasn’t basically already, and you still had yet to give this a name, but there’s no room for debate now. you belonged to one another.

“...well,” soonyoung starts, rubbing the back of his neck, “you can keep posting. makes me feel kinda good, actually — that i’m the one who gets to have you when everyone else’s just watching.” he pauses, lip twitching. “also because i’m a little scared of you.”

you laugh, the tension in your chest finally easing. “good answer.”

soonyoung’s own laugh thins out when a particular name bubbles to the surface. “and jeonghan…”

you raise a brow. “what about him?”

“i’m not implying anything. i just want to know what his deal with me is. at the markets, it seemed like he kept trying to make me jealous.”

“you know he’s gay, right?”

“oh.” soonyoung blinks. a beat. “god, i’m so stupid.”

you chuckle, rubbing his arm. “he was curious how much you liked me. he would’ve been testing you to see if you got bothered by him.” well, he passed that with flying colours. “but it’s okay. he’ll back off now, promise.”

soonyoung nods. your fingers slide over his cheek, and he doesn’t even blink before leaning in to press his mouth to yours. when you smile in to the kiss, he does too.

you go down on the couch together, his body pressed firm on top of yours. soonyoung squeezed at your cheek, your waist, your thigh. he sighed from relief into the kiss when your tongue brushed past his lips.

“god, i missed you,” he breathed out. “felt like i was gonna die in my room.”

you hum as his lips close around your neck, hot mouth latching to the skin. “mm, you’ll have to show me how bad.”

as if on command, he parts from you and moves to get off laying on you. you halt him with a hand closed around his bicep.

“don’t you want to get the camera set up first?” he asks.

you look at him for a moment, brows furrowed. your hold on his arm loosens, and then tightens again, tugging him back down to press against your body.

“no.” you smile.

if he wasn’t about to get laid he’d cry tears of joy.

this time when you had sex, it feels as if nothing’s changed, yet it’s somehow entirely new. you’re still in tune with his body, as much as he is with yours. you let him kiss you and hold you and there was no doubt in his mind as he moved. you’ve been his just as much as he’s been yours. now it didn’t exist solely in a shadowed corner of the internet.

afterwards, you both lay on the couch, limp and breathless from three rounds of fucking each other’s brains out. making up for lost time, soonyoung had joked somewhere during the second.

once life returned to his body, soonyoung padded over to your bedroom and returned with your polaroid camera.

you don’t even flinch as he held the camera to your bare chest, letting him snap a photo of your tits.

“pervert.” you snort.

when the film slides out, he shakes it vehemently until colour blots in, making a show of woofing and growling at the polaroid.

you covered your face in your hands, giggling. soonyoung flops back down to lay his head on your chest, peppering your skin in kisses.

“can i get one of us kissing? or are you too icked out now?”

labels were nice. soonyoung had only been calling you his girlfriend for a day, and that alone felt like something worth celebrating — which is how you both ended up inviting your friends out for drinks.

funny how everything about your relationship seemed to happen backwards. you started with sex the night you met, and now, months later, he was just getting used to holding your hand in public — to actually calling you his girlfriend.

business was booming too. your followers couldn’t get enough of soonyoung, and he was pleasantly surprised to hear that engagement had skyrocketed once you confirmed you were really dating. everything just… worked out. for once, it felt simple. loving you was easy. it was nice.

you’d left to grab drinks, leaving soonyoung’s side with a coo in his ear; your hand slipping from his thigh with a playful brush that lingered in his mind.

across the booth, seungkwan and jeonghan were bickering like they’d known each other for years — a friendship that had apparently sparked the moment you introduced them. jeonghan had brought another friend of yours, joshua, who seokmin had been fawning over without an ounce of shame. even jihoon had made it out (after you practically dragged him), sitting quietly with a faint smile and cheeks flushed pink from the alcohol.

soonyoung’s still laughing at an insult jeonghan had tossed seungkwan when his eyes flick over to the bar, searching for his beautiful girlfriend — then catching you leaning in to say something to a tipsy-looking seungcheol.

the smile drops from his face before he even realises it. the noise of the bar dulls to static, his chest tightening like the room’s closing in on him. but then you’re straightening up, offering seungcheol the same polite smile you’d give a stranger, and walking away without another glance.

when you return, you set a drink in his hand, then settle yourself right into his lap like it’s the most natural thing in the world. soonyoung looks at you, then at your drink, then back at you again.

“what was that about?” he asks, trying and failing to sound nonchalant.

you take a sip before answering, eyes glinting. “he said he wanted to catch up. i said i was just here to get a drink for my boyfriend.”

if you weren’t sitting on him, he’d have probably jumped up and punched the air. his grin splits wide across his face.

“your boyfriend, ey? that means i’m a dead man. you know cheol’s my team captain.”

you shrug, leaning closer, lips brushing his ear. “guess i’ll have to kill him before he can try.”

soonyoung laughs, the sound bubbling out of him like it can’t be helped. others around the table notice, jeonghan in particular shooting you a soft smile. he’d been soonyoung’s biggest cheerleader since you started dating — even if he had questionable methods for playing wingman.

“you’re so romantic, baby.” soonyoung drawls.

you kiss him, soft at first — and then less so when he leans into it, hands gripping your waist before he remembers where you are. it’s almost enough to make him forget the crowd around you, at least until a familiar bass rumbles through the speakers.

he groans under his breath. “of course.”

it’s bae bae. he shakes his head, recalling your first meeting. seungkwan and seokmin crack up into laughter from across the table, the trio all thinking the same thing — how he got hard on the dance floor.

soonyoung flushes, jabbing a finger at dumb and dumber. “yah, did one of you assholes ask them to play this?”

you pull back with a smirk, quoting yourself from that night: “you know this one?”

he turns to you, gulping. “yeah. just… give me a minute.”

he shifts beneath you, and you laugh when you feel his current predicament prodding into your ass. you steal another kiss from his lips, light enough to have him chasing after you, just like the first time.

“you’re such a loser.” you giggle.

“yeah,” he says, grinning up at you. “but i’m your loser.”

M.LIST ⋮ TAGLIST

There had been far too many incidents of you barging in while he was changing or in the middle of an online class. And those were just the first few examples that came to mind.

So when he decided to buy a toy to indulge in himself and his needs exploring more of kinks too, he made sure to lock his door and told you he was doing something 'important' so you wouldn't disturb him.

And that brings him to today. He'd been buzzing with anticipation all day, constantly tracking the package and checking whether it was already out for delivery that Changbin even joked he must have a girlfriend blowing up his phone lately with texts to get him to be glued 24/7 to his phone. Meanwhile Jisung just rolled his eyes and kept insisting it was not a girlfriend and just a "simple package".

And when he finally got that rewarding notification that his package had been delivered, it immediately made him ecstatic, especially after such a long excruciating day. He practically sprinted home, leaving Changbin and Chan standing there in confusion to eat up all the dust from how fast he had been running.

When he was finally at the doorstep of your shared apartment, he immediately picked up the box and practically tripped over his feet opening the door, toeing off his shoes at the entryway and tearing into the package impatiently.

He was wondering at first why the apartment was so dark and quiet, but he remembered you were out for an after-class club or something along those lines, and, he thought to himself as being incredibly lucky right now, he can finally relax without any interruptions!

He wasted absolutely no time heading to his room.

Dropping his bag beside his desk, he sat down and opened the package. Excitement buzzed through him as he examined its contents. His jacket and pants were quickly discarded onto a nearby chair, leaving him in a simple white tee and his boxers, and he finally allowed himself a moment to relax after the long day.

"Okay... let's see what you can do..." Jisung murmurs, unboxing the item and inspecting it. The toy was a bullet stroker, or that's what it said on the box. He checks the information on its little manual "Sucking sensation.... helps with jerking off... wow, it really does everything huh?" He jokes, murmuring while he reads the rest. And embarrassingly, the thought of using it already got him hard in his boxers, some pre already leaking, darkening his boxers further.

Shimmying out of his boxers and propping his pillow upright to support his back when he'd lean on the headboard, Jisung finally let himself enjoy his new toy. Of course, he cleaned it up before use.

"Okay, let's see you in action then," Jisung concludes, grabbing some of his favorite strawberry-flavored lube from his bedside drawer, opening its cap with a distinct 'click!' that reverberated throughout the small space. He squirts it all over his very hard and erect cock as well as the toy, the cold liquid making him hiss a little as he slowly inserts it, wincing at the squelch that made him shiver.

He lets himself be familiar with the sensation first. It was warm thanks to the heat of his skin and the lube that was quick to warm up. It almost felt jelly-like and tight, hugging his cock tight once he started to move his hand a little

He slides the toy over the head of his penis, eyes shutting tight at the sensation, a shaky groan leaving his lips as he moves it in a slow up-down-up-down motion to spread the moisture. The toy gripped him like a vice, like a suction feeling that didn't want to let him go, a tight slide when he flicked his wrist again to build a steady pace.

Jisung's hands paw around at the bed, looking for the remote that came with it, fumbling for that little item, opening his eyes with effort as he presses the "on" button.

Once the vibration starts, Jisung's hips jerk up into the toy in surprise, “O-oh! Shit–! That's– haha that's pretty– hngk s-strong!” He whimpers, a heavy buzz at first, but once he pressed it firmly against his skin, it quickly turned to a soft, quiet hum, filling the room along with the soft squelches of the toy gliding when he moved his hand.

His fingers pressed the button again, a steady hum that was a little stronger than before. He starts to slide down the bed more, tummy tensing as loud moans leave his swollen lips, not deciding to even be quiet since technically he is alone at the moment

A particularly louder whimper steals his breath when he presses the toy against the underside of his cock, toes curling at the sensations. "F–fuck! 's good..." he breathes out, eyes half-lidded.

It went on like this for longer. He was progressively getting louder and louder the more he let himself succumb to the sensations, His breaths turning to ragged, shallow gasps. The wet slaps of the lube intensify as he finally starts to stroke the vibrating sleeve up and down in a frantic, desperate rhythm. (When had he even stopped moving his hand?)

His fingers tightened around the remote, fingers slipping as he pressed the button to turn it to his highest setting, a choked-out whine being punched out of his lungs

"O-oh my go–angh! Go-d!.. T-Too much–!" Jisung's voice pitches higher and higher once he starts getting closer to his orgasm, two hands clutching the toy as the wet slaps of the toy intensify once he starts fucking his hips up into it harder and harder.

The buzzing grew intense, his thighs started to quiver as he felt like his brain was leaking out of his ears. The sensations all the more felt like his blood was turning to liquid heat, rushing under his skin. “ 'm close– ngah! Gon–na c-cum!" He announces to no one, hips chasing after the pleasure almost frantically

But just as he was about to completely tip over the edge, he suddenly heard his bedroom door open. Your voice immediately fills the room, and he squeaks, pulling his hands away, and clamping his legs shut, pulling his blanket further up his chest. "J–jeez what the hell!!" He yells, flustered.

"Sorry! Sorry!" You apologize, fully entering his room now. You assumed he'd just been resting, but seeing that he's shirtless, maybe he just came back from the shower, and it was another one of those 'I almost walked into him changing again' moments.

You shut the door behind you, the 'click!' His door felt like a doom bell in Jisung's head because suddenly you started to.... chat with him?!

"Okay, I just HAD to get this out before I forget, listen— remember Ji-a from my biology class? Yeah, like the one that told me I've been stealing her things when I clearly HADN'T? Yeah– guess what she did today!" You kept rambling on and on, your hands completely expressing what you were trying to convey, your brows furrowing at whatever gossip you were telling him.

And while usually, Jisung would listen and be completely invested in whatever you said, all the words you spewed out felt like a buzz in his head. Because he had been so scared of you coming in to see him that he quickly covered himself with his blanket, he forgot to turn off his toy.

Which meant that right now, while you're babbling on and on about something he usually would've cared about, he can't bring himself to actually listen because his cock was leaking, the toy still hugging it tight while it kept vibrating on his most sensitive spots. His thighs tensing, his vision blurring with tears he kept trying to blink back.

His knuckles went white with how tight he clutched his blanket, small shaky hums, and "To-Totally!" Left his lips. He pinched his arm, trying to direct his head into something other than the overwhelming feeling of his orgasm getting closer and closer.

Though much to his horror, his body couldn't contain all this pleasure anymore and before he knew it, he's cumming and oh– he's cumming so so much that he felt floaty and lightheaded. He shut his eyes, desperately trying to fight back a moan, his lips bitten harsh enough to draw blood and the metallic tang floods his taste buds.

“Sung? Sungie– Hey??? Are you listening?” He hears you, though it starts to sound like he's underwater, your voice distant. He was still panting, chest heaving from the brutal and soul-sucking climax, the toy still vibrating on his dick. He didn't register it, but you stepped closer in confusion, tapping his thigh with much force which immediately sent him further as his entire body violently jerked, squirting all over as the blankets started to darken from the stain. His eyes rolled back, back arching once the second orgasm was pulled out of his oversensitive body.

“Jisung…? Did you just–” You murmur in disbelief, watching as he desperately tries to screw his eyes open, his eyes wide like saucers, pupils dilated as his tongue was practically rolling out of his mouth, drool starting to slip. He whimpers, the feeling of fear creeping in as he tries to pull back from you, creating some distance although his movements were clumsy.

“ 'm s-sorry I'm sorry–" a moan cuts him off. The apologies tumbling out of his mouth blurring to begs. "T–turn it o– ogkh–! Fuck! Off! Turn it off please, please, please!” He begs, a helpless, broken whimper caught in his throat as his thighs begin to shake uncontrollably all over again. He couldn't hold back anymore, his arm was all bruised up from trying to pinch himself quiet to no effort as he writhes on the bed. Meanwhile, you, who had been standing frozen in shock, snapped out of your haze at watching your roommate literally fall apart all from a toy that you could finally hear the buzzing of once you stopped talking.

You fumbled around the bed, fingers coming into contact with smooth plastic and you pressed the button, the incessant buzzing of the toy finally shut off leaving Jisung shivering and half-ruined, softly whining at the loss of pleasure as he pants, shaking fingers finally pulling away the toy from his swollen cock.

“hey, hey, sungie?” You kneel, the mattress dipping under your weight as Jisung subtly nods his head in reply. You quickly noticed his eyes were half-closed, glazed over, and his legs were trembling so violently the mattress shook “Hey… are you okay?” You cooed softly, voice laced with concern. Meanwhile, Jisung didn't even answer, just letting out a fractured, breathless whine while he stares blankly at the ceiling

Worried, You leaned over and placed your palm flat against Jisung's inner thigh to try and steady his shaking leg. But the instant her warm skin met his, his entire spine arched off the bed. A sharp, incredibly loud gasp tore from his throat, his fingers instantly clawing into the bedsheets. He wasn't pushing you away—his hips instinctively twitched upward, helplessly chasing the heat of your hand.

“Nghk–! Too much!” He moans. You froze, your heart hammering against your ribs as you realized just how incredibly raw and responsive he was.

Jisung looks up at you, eyes completely unfocused, silently begging for more but unable to form a single word. His throat clicked as he tried to swallow. The sheer vulnerability of his state sent a heavy, electric jolt straight to your stomach. And just as much your logical mind would go against it, you felt yourself getting wet under your skirt. The boundary was gone.

You didn't pull your hand back; instead, you slowly slid your palm higher and higher, tracing the fever-hot skin of his thigh until your fingers brushed against him. "You're so sensitive," you whispered, Jisung's breath hitched while your voice trembled. "Let me help you.”

You leaned down, your lips brushing against his hyper-sensitive skin before you finally took him into the melting warmth of your waiting mouth. The contrast to the cold plastic toy was too much. He let out a loud, cracked sob, his hands flying up to grip your hair, fingers tight begging to just hold onto something stable while his world spun. It sent a shiver across your skin once he tugs, making you moan against his cock

You started with small kitten licks to the head of his cock, then swirled your tongue over the wet head of his length, hearing him instantly start to unravel out loud. "Oh god, o-oh! fuck!, it's too warm, you're too warm," he babbled, his voice raw and frantic. "Please—fuck, I can't think, my head is spinning, everything is spinning…” Jisung moans, head hitting the pillow as he vocalises every feeling coursing through his veins once he starts to get close again.

Seeing him right on the ragged edge, you pulled back, shaking his grip on your head away, replacing your mouth with the slick, tight grip of your palm. You stroked him fast—much easier with his previous two orgasms—using his own slick moisture, looking right up at his glazed eyes.

"Look at you," you murmured, pumping him steadily. "You're doing so well for me, baby. You look so beautiful unraveling f'me." The praise sent an electric jolt straight to Jisung's core, shattering whatever tiny bit of control he (surprisingly) had left.

He didn't just groan; he started loudly rambling in a desperate, unfiltered loop as the third climax was hitting him. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, mommy, it's so good, fuck, you're so good to me, please don't stop—fuck, it's close! It's coming—" His thighs convulsed violently as he wails.

His fingers clawed at the sheets, bunching the fabric into balls as he clenched his fists “gonna cum– mommy please I'm gonna— gonna cum—” loud ah ah ah's left his lips as he arched his back, hips stuttering as he thrusted up into your tight warm hand, mind so torn between pulling away and wanting more.

And at once, a sudden powerful spray of clear, watery fluid gushed over your hand. He kept crying out, eyes rolling and back bowing in a beautiful arch off the bed, his voice cracking into breathless, repetitive whimpers long after the fluid stopped, completely spent and entirely yours. He slumps back down the mattress, the powerful waves finally subsided, leaving the room quiet except for the ragged sound of his wet, broken pants.

He lay completely flat, chest heaving, his fingers still weakly tangled in the bedsheets. You didn't pull away. Instead, you crawled further up the mattress, the bed dipping as you hovered over his shivering frame.

His eyes were still glazed, pupils blown wide as he stared blankly up at you, his lower jaw slack. "Look at me, Sungie," you cooed softly, your hand coming up to gently cup his flushed, sweaty cheek. He let out a weak whimper at the contact, his head automatically tilting into your palm.

You leaned down, your lips catching his breath before you pressed your mouth firmly against his. The kiss was immediate, heavy, and sloppy. You slid your tongue past his parted lips, tasting the unmistakable, sharp tang of his own spent fluids mixed with your saliva. The sheer intimacy of it made Jisung let out a muffled, vibrating groan deep in his throat.

He didn't have the physical strength to hold you or push his hips up anymore, but his mouth eagerly, desperately chased yours, drinking you in like a lifeline. He was completely undone, his body still occasionally twitching beneath you from the aftershocks of the third round, but as you deeply turned the kiss, his frantic breathing finally began to slow. He was entirely safe in your hold, utterly ruined, and completely content just to melt into the mattress under your weight.

As you finally pulled back from the deep, lazy kiss, a thick thread of saliva stretched between your lips before breaking. Jisung lay beneath you looking like a thoroughly dazed, melted puddle, his eyes blinking slowly as the cognitive gears in his brain finally clanked back into place.

He stared at you, then down at the ruined, dark stain on his blanket, and then—horrifyingly—the memory of his own unfiltered mouth echoed in his ears. His eyes suddenly went wide as saucers, a furious, bright crimson blush exploding from his neck all the way to the tips of his ears.

"I... I called you... did.. I?? I did... oh my god," he choked out, burying his face entirely in his hands as a pathetic, muffled groan of pure embarrassment escaped him. You couldn't help but let out a soft, teasing chuckle, leaning down to plant a fond kiss right on his knuckles.

"Don't worry about it, roomie," you murmured playfully, brushing a stray piece of hair from his sweaty forehead. "But just so we're clear... you're definitely doing my laundry for next month.”

@hyvnesangel hi... haha... I was the new writer anon 💔💔 I hope you like it.. 😔😔 (I actually wrote this horny with 2 hours of sleep...)