โ i donโt have time for a relationship. do you know how many books i need to read?ย โ
โ i think itโs hilarious when people tell me iโm laid back because iโve pretty uch been screaming nonstop in my head since like fifth grade โ
โ coming out of my cage and iโve been doing justโฆ not good โ
โ iโm a piece of shit, but itโs fine โ
โ how i am supposed to have a lit summer with $4.65 โ
โ iโm a huge fan of space; both outer and personal โ
โ and to your left, you can see me, ruining everything โ
โ any full cast musical number can be a solo if you believe hard enough โ
โ kinda hungry, kinda horny, kinda tired, kinda wanna get a tattoo โ
โ no amount of under eye concealer can cover up how tired i am of this world โ
โ iโm ready for autumn, but not autumn responsibilities โ
โ today iโm wearing a lovely shade of i slept like shit so donโt piss me off โ
โ iโm not making enough boys nervous โ
โ i really want my last words to be โhey, wanna see a dead body?โ โ
โ donโt you hate it when money goes away when you spend it? โ
โ iโm always a slut for conspiracy theories โ
โ i wanna make a diss track about myself โ
โ true friendship is bullying your friends into watching the tv shows you watch โ
โ iโd be such a good girlfriend/boyfriend/s.o. youโre all missing out โ
โ sorry i was late. i canโt conceptualize time. โ
โ fuck what the aliens said โ
โ sometimes it physically pains me to hold back my sarcastic comments โย
โ if outfit repeating was a crime i would be sentenced to life without parole โ
โ does anyone have ten thousand dollars they donโt want? โ
โ i want a sugar daddy, but i know nicki minaj wants me to be independent ย โ
โ i stress about stress before thereโs even stress to stress about โ
โ i donโt have plans for tonight or the rest of my life if anyone wants to have a drink or get married โ
โ tbh sometimes you just gotta let me be dramatic because i will get over it, but let me be dramatic first. โ
โ painfully average looking with a great sense of humor and always down to get drunk โ
โ if we date, you have to hold my hand in the car. no exceptions. โ
โ in an unfortunate development, i am now awake โ
โ youโre hella bomb, hella cute, and anyone would be hella lucky to have you โ
โ kinda hurt, kinda offended, kinda not planning on saying anything about it โ
โ trying to embarrass me is so unnecessary. i do it to myself just fine. โ
โ if you donโt think iโm a princess then youโre 100% right. iโm the fucking queen. โ
โ fuck summer. i want it to be dark and misty and frigid and october. โ
โ lana may have fucked her way up to the top, but i am bullshitting my way up to the middle โ
โ i donโt want to get involved in the drama, i just wanna know 103% of the information on what happened โ
โ soโฆ do you want to watch 49.7 hours of parks and recreation with me? โ
โ i hit rock bottom like every two weeks โ
โ can someone please be proud of me? like fuck, iโm trying. โ
โ give me a few days to overthink about it โ
โ can i sell my feelings on ebay? i donโt want them anymore. โ
โ iโm really fucking sarcastic for someone whoโs about to start crying most of the time โ
โ when does hibernation start because i am 100% participating in that โ
โ donโt you hate it when you wake up and youโre awake โ
โ i lowkey just wanna make sure youโre happy as fuck โ
โ i literally have no idea what iโm gonna do if i donโt end up rich โ
โ you know youโre in deep when you love listening to them talk and you get attached to their voice โ
โ no offense, but when is it my turn for someone to be in love with me โ
โ iโm an asshole with a really big heart โ
โ i have to be funny because being hot is not an option โ
โ can i apologize in advance for basically everything i will ever do โ
โ okay thatโs cool, but consider the following: snuggling with me until i fall asleep โ
โ please handle me with care. i am a very sleepy and soft creature. โ
โ drunk me is the me i really want to be. confident, hilarious, and most importantly, drunk. โ
blakekathryn
baratheonpilled
areudirty
gummygunk
2087
stormborns
tangentwithtanner
