How has nobody settled for me yet I’m a solid 3

this will never not be funny

ok but does anyone else remember when one direction shot to fame and suddenly influenced teen girls fashion trends for that year?! idk if it was just the stores in my town or what but 2012 was the year of ‘nautical’ style clothes and stripe shirts and colorful jeans and those fake varsity jackets and UK flags on EVERYTHING 

HHFHEGRVD D FNFJ

being a human is kinda dumb because we get to REASON and THINK HARD which really isn’t fair, i’d rather be an orchid and eat light beams all day, no offense to the miracle that is evolution, like, thanks for the opportunity to participate in an advanced society but put me in the ground 

teacher: how are you doing? me: *thinking about how sharks have survived 5 major extinctions that wiped out majority of life on earth* me: yeah

Lmaoo

Literally. That’s the argument.

☕️☕️☕️ too hot!

I absolutely adore discovering what different people find hilarious with Cards Against Humanity because you’ll have someone who won’t even flinch when a card like “bees?” or “Boris the Soviet Love Hammer” is played but in the next second they’re crying from laughing at  "this is your pilot speaking fasten your seat belts and prepare for clams“