I can’t stop thinking about aroace Ryland Grace.
It’s just. The way basically almost everyone in the fandom agrees that this character is aroace-coded is so special to me. In every other fandom I’ve been in or just witnessed from a distance, the very few characters who are canonically aro and/or ace have been denied their identities by the rampant aphobia within those fandoms. And the characters who are aro/ace only in fanon are almost always chosen for those headcanons because they are the stereotype of the unloving, unlovable aro/ace.
And then there’s Ryland Grace.
This character who has so much personality, who is so lovable, who is so full of love, of love for the world around him, love for his students, love for science, love for life on Earth, love for his best friend. This character who laughs, this character who cries, this character who cheers and screams and makes corny jokes and throws stuff to the ground out of anger. This character who is afraid. This character who lashed out and fought for his life when everyone else was taking it away from him. This character who clawed at the dirt and grass when he was being violently manhandled, who desperately tried to hold on to the earth because he didn’t want to go. Who tried his hardest to go back home. Who was afraid because he didn’t want to die. Because he loves life.
The fandom saw Ryland Grace—a character who could’ve just as easily as any other male character be thrown into a straight romance with Stratt but somehow wasn’t—saw how much he loves and how much he grieves, and decided: this one. This is the one. I relate to this character. I feel the same way. Everything was taken away from me, too, for being marginalized. For being queer.
And somehow, even though the most popular queer headcanon could’ve been about Grace being gay, or trans, or anything else like it, the consensus was that he would be read by the fandom as aroace.
And I know there’s more to it than that. I know that the line “You have no immediate family, you don’t even have a dog” resonated within a lot of aroace fans (me included), I know that he’s very aroace-coded in the book, I’ve read it. All of these elements play into it. They’re the main reason why I started seeing him as aroace myself.
But I just can’t help but wonder how this happened.
How we collectively as a fandom started agreeing upon this one main headcanon. How we all looked at this main character—whom Andy Weir most definitely thought of as a cishet man when writing the novel—and decided that he would be aromantic asexual. Because many aroace fans see themselves in Grace, of course. But also because he lived for himself. He lived for himself and his life was taken away from him because that was not enough of a reason to allow him to stay on Earth. Ryland Grace’s life does not matter, he is expandable, because he has no one in his life to love romantically. Because he is no use to society if he won’t reproduce. So might as well give him a use. Even if he doesn’t agree.
Ryland Grace lived for himself. He loved his life and he shared that love with himself, and that’s it. And that was enough to make people read him as aroace. And as a result of that, I’ve been seeing so many people talk about it online ever since I saw the movie and joined the fandom. And it’s making me dizzy, in a good way.
Hell, I don’t know what I’m writing anymore, I got carried away. I might actually cry. This character is so dear to me.
I guess what I wanted to say is this: Ryland Grace is aromantic asexual in the hearts of many Project Hail Mary fans, and they talk about it. They won’t stop talking about it. I hope you never stop talking about it.
Because it might just be a headcanon, it might not be real in the canon of the book/movie, but hear me out: I found out I was aroace when I was 15 years old. I’ve been using this label for nearly five years of my life, and I’ve not been alive a long time—I’m only 20.
I have never, never, ever, felt this represented in my entire life. I have never felt this seen in my entire life. I am literally shaking as I’m writing this. This simple headcanon that has taken the fandom by storm has been making me feel more represented than any canon aroace character ever could. I have never felt more understood than I have since I joined the PHM fandom about a month ago.
Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you, PHM fans, for allowing me to be who I am, and to be loved and celebrated for it.
This is why representation matters.
