The Echo and the Stain | ch 43
Qui-Gon brushed the sleeve of his flight suit across his glistening forehead, dampening the fibers with sweat. He followed his padawan’s lead as they headed to Satine’s last known location to trace the steps of her captors, but all the while, he could sense Obi-Wan’s anxiety through their Force bond. Out of habit, he assumed it was rooted in romantic sentiment, but given a moment to focus on it, Qui-Gon realized he was wrong and he waited.
A question was looming in the young man’s mind.
Moments of apprehension passed as Obi-Wan pushed through broken fencing and around piles of rebar and rubble, and finally, when the worry could no longer be caged within himself, he said, “I heard what Master Dibs said about me. I know the Council will not let me take the trials when I return.” He clenched his jaw before making a startling admission to his mentor, mumbling, “They will say I am not ready… and I am not, but I want to be.”
The sun above Keldabe shifted in the sky, bringing relief from the heat as it inched behind a towering structure that remained intact despite all the carnage of war. Somewhere out of sight from their watchful eyes, the sun aligned to pass through shards of a stained glass window, scattering spots of blue and green upon their path; and as the colors reflected on metal debris, sparkling before them, Obi-Wan came to a standstill.
“Master, I know that I mustn’t have attachments, but what I feel for her doesn’t feel wrong, if that makes any sense,” he murmured as his head lowered and shame clouded his anxiety in the Force.
Qui-Gon paused alongside his apprentice and took a deep breath before patiently reassuring him, “You are only human, Obi-Wan. If we are fortunate, we will love many times in our lives, we will care deeply for others, and when we must prevent such feelings from becoming a matter of attachment, we will even mourn those versions of our lives that could have been.”
Obi-Wan raised his head and stared out at the blue and green lights that flickered like stars before him, and as they danced around the surface of the rebar as the sun continued to subtly shift high above them, he pushed thoughts of Satine’s eyes from his mind as he considered the warning Prosset Dibs had given Master Qui-Gon.
“I don’t want to be in trouble with the Council,” he admitted plainly.
Placing his hand on his padawan’s shoulder to offer comfort, Qui-Gon insisted, “You won’t be. When we return to Coruscant, you will speak of how your friendship with the Duchess of Kalevala kept her alive and in good spirits during the time she was in hiding.”
The urge to argue and entertain his futile thoughts thick on his tongue, Obi-Wan asked, “But what if the Counc-”
“Don’t worry about the Council, Obi-Wan.”