reaper

I’m not trying to be like “ohoho look at me I’m such a good friend”, I’m saying the second I stopped going “I wish I had friends who would invite me to tea parties” and just. hosted the tea parties myself? I still got to do the thing. I still got to see my friends. I still got to be happy with them.

It’s a lot of energy, I get that. Especially if you’re putting in all this effort, but not getting any back.

But I think that’s the reason no one does it. I mean we’re so worried we’ll start doing all these things and our friends won’t like it or won’t be into it, so we just don’t.

Only last week my friend messaged me, asking if I wanted to go stargazing with her. When I forget about our weekly virtual tea party, another friend called me to ask if I wanted them to host it this week.

I’ve been invited on hikes and picnics and pie making competitions over zoom, and it all sort of started with me going out of my way to be “that friend”.

how to be a bad bitch 101:

get new friends

did you felt personally offended by that? you know you deserve better friends than those vultures you surround yourself with. if your friends don´t compliment you out of the blue, hype you up and remember you that you are worthy of love and attention is time to get a better group of friends. especially if them are the ones that feed your insecurities and you know exactly the type of people that I am talking. 

study 

there is nothing more powerful and sexy than knowledge. doesn't necessarily need to be about the subjects you study in high school, go learn about your city, submarines, plants, anything that sparks your interest. watch a documentary, read a book, pick up the messages on shows, pay fucking attention and learn.

let yourself be sometimes

feeling a bit down, sad, tired or stressed is a part of life. sometimes giving yourself time is always better than “keep pushing through”. think about the situation, let yourself grief, cry for hours while watching a show and then, when you feel ready, move on. most of times that transition will happen and you won't even notice. dont let people tell you what its worth crying or being upset about. if you want to cry and not go out on a friday night because you saw a cute commercial that is totally fine. do what you feel is best. let yourself be.

learn about yourself

learn what makes you tick, happy, excited, nervous, cry etc...see the patterns and learn how to deal with them or even avoid some. create boundaries and let people know when they crossed them. know yourself.

create a self-love kit

a song, movie or anything that makes you feel comfy for those times you feel a bit down. heavily related to the ´learn abut yourself´ bullet-point. take a bubbly bath, tea. treat your body and mind. binge watch that show that makes you emotional, sulk in your couch for a day, just fucking do it. 

make ´main character´ activities by yourself

dont rely on other people to do the things you like. got to your favorite coffeeshop, flea market, sit by the beach, listen to music outside. we all deserve a Bella sitting by her window thinking about her vampire boyfriend moment or laying on the grass just because.

romanticize the little things

romanticize your daily shower, your commute to work. turn off the lights and dance, feel the love and energy around you. stop doing everything in a automatic, appreaciate everything, put your intentions on things and think, really feel.

dont waste your energy on things that don't matter/aren´t worth it

value your time and energy, not everybody deserves it. don't bit to other people baits that were made to make you pissed or feed other people's drama/games. let them play by themselves. say no and move on. use the time you would be fighting with them to make something for yourself.

dont be afraid of saying no