Sharpen your Knife

To be in love with you I gotta see you as my beloved equal and cherished friend but to be sexually attracted to you I gotta see you just below a God,nigh mythical, someone who utter being deserves my adoration and honor, to be loved wholeheartedly, your temple adorned with my gaze. And yet your gaze something I'm not worthy of, trusting you when I am the dirt beneath your feet you'll know when and how to scoop me up adding the caring waters back into me and molding me back into clay, back into someone worthy of use to you, someone who can be made into a piece of pottery, crushed, broken,misshapen, watered, remolded over and over and love every bit of it because I know I'm being touched by the hands that care and harm me with love, by someone I love being less than for.

The mythical potter, Sir, your hands would be my own undoing, returned to the dirt that I am.

~ 😇

I believe they're not opposite, but complimentary. It's a certain type of love that people have, coming from the same warmth in your heart.

Yeah! Luckily I have an awareness nowadays about where the behaviour comes from, but I didn't understand it until very recently that it doesn't come from this horrible place. For me sadism and degradation isn't fun unless he (hates that he's) enjoying it. Once I realised that I was like, OK. I'm not some evil person who should be nowhere near a relationship. It's just my expression, and it's not for everyone for sure.

I don't see the point in causing harm just because - there's no reward in that - it's very easy to do. Not that I don't have negative traits or character defects, that just isn't one of them.