I want to go home
I knew carefree days, laughter,
childlike moments,
I knew dreams filled with stars,
timeless moments,
that gentle peace,
a heart surrounded by warmth.
I knew the dawn of my childhood dreams,
I thought I had reached the end of my dreams.
But the alarm clock rang and erased those glimmers of hope.
They managed to tear those childhood dreams away.
Was it a crime?
My soul is in ashes,
I wish I wouldn't feel alone anymore,
stop living in my nightmare.
I will leave nothing behind.
No one will remember who I was.
The sun no longer rises, and never will.
I don't know who I'll become,
I don't know how to do it,
I don't know how to clear my head
and become like the little girl who's dying inside me.
The one who loved to laugh so much,
To the point of having a stomachache.
The one who would have given everything
for any of her projects.
The one who loved to talk so much,
giving way to a girl who's constantly making mistakes.
I'm sorry for having done stupid things sometimes late at night,
for having drunk in the evenings to forget and stop the thoughts.
I ask forgiveness from everyone I may have hurt,
for all those times I probably overreacted,
for all those times I didn't know how to say sorry,
for all those times I hated life
to the point of no longer wanting to live.
I don't want to relive those moments when I'm so afraid,
when everything becomes blurry and my heart races,
when I tremble so much I can't stop,
walking around my room when I can,
Or sitting and hoping it will pass.
I need to go home,
to feel at home like when I was a child.
To feel that wave of warmth that held me and lifted me up.
I want to go home to hear those cries of joy.
I need to go home to stop being afraid
and live without tears, without stress, without anxiety.
I just need to empty what's still in my head
to hope to hear it again,
my inner child,
who tells me that one day the light will return
and that I must believe it.
I need to go home
and see that little child again, laughing
as if fear had never existed.







