fleshpastepaste

“i also choose this guy’s dead wife” was easily the #1 funniest thing to ever be written on the internet.

i do also feel the need to add that phil8248 really liked the joke. he said his wife had always had a dark sense of humour, even about her illness and death, and seeing the joke made him feel like he was laughing with her one last time.

Why did i almost get killed yesterday

pjackk handing you a piece of grass and telling you to destroy everything badly before lumbering into the sea and tripping face down and sinking beneath the waves to rust away

being an autistic freak pervert is all fun and games until your coworkers try to make small talk with you

daily affirmation i do NOT have a secret disgusting evil hidden within me that will some day make its way out

Did anyone else just feel a pale hand pull a silvery rope connected to a dark curtain

[freeze frame] yeah, that’s not me. I don’t know who that is. [unpause]

(guy who's misunderstanding what words mean) The problem with swordplay is she gets to be the sword and I have to, what, fuck the sword?