Flayme Ashton

Lately, I’ve been trying to embrace my ASD. I was feeling a lot of stress one evening, so I decided to go silent at the dinner table. My mother was okay with this. My father, however, could not take me seriously. He heckled me and immaturely tried to make me speak. Then, he proceeded to joke about Autism Speaks, something that is not to be laughed at. To this day, he is yet to accept the fact that I am atypical, even though he has known that much longer than I have.

It infuriates me when people can’t take ASD seriously. It’s extremely stigmatizing for us and causes us to feel inferior. And it’s upsetting when people have such a mindset to treat us that way.

One of my goals as an ASD activist on Tumblr is to make a difference in the way people view ASD and the challenges faced by those with the disorder. I want to live to see the day when all atypicals are willing to express themselves- when aspies don’t have to try and act typically to fit in- when ADHD isn’t criticized- when autism is accepted.

This day in age, I feel is as progressive as it is regressive. People are spreading ideas and sharing their voices, which is incredible, but the ASD community, it seems, hasn’t reached all audiences yet. I truly believe that our community will flourish if it continues to grow and speak out.

So to all activists: keep up the good work! Our voices will one day be heard- even if we have to take it person by person.

I want to show my father that I’m not alone in this community- that there are so many people like me who are fighting for equality.

Please reblog and reply to show your support and help convince others (like my father) that there are other people who care greatly about our cause.

I wrote about some reactions I got when I “came out” as autistic, but I decided to make a related post talking about the “wrong” and “right” way to react when someone tells you they are autistic.

Don’t Say…

“But you’re so smart/pretty/nice/etc.!”

“But you don’t look autistic!”

“But you’re good at/can do X.”

“I’m sorry you have autism.”

“You mean Asperger’s/high-functioning autism, don’t you?”

“I might be a little bit autistic”/”Everyone’s a little bit autistic.”

“Oh, I know someone who is autistic.”

“I never would have guessed!”

“So that’s why you do –Insert weird thing they have noticed and didn’t like–.”

Do say…

“Thank you for trusting me enough to feel comfortable telling me.”

“Let me know if there are ways I can help you.”

“I would love to listen more about what you go through if you want to tell me.”

“Oh! That’s why you’re so great at or love X thing so much!”

“Hey, is there anything I’ve done that has bothered you?”/”If I do anything that bothers you, let me know.”

Anything that starts with “But…” is basically a no go. Sometimes even saying something you think is comforting or encouraging can be diminishing of the reality of our lives. Please don’t talk about someone you know who is autistic as a response. Sometimes mentioning an actual autistic coded character you know (like Atypical, the Good Doctor, or even Sheldon Cooper) can be a passable jumping off point, but don’t look at us through the lens of whatever stereotypical image you have of autistics. We aren’t all the same.

Mainly, you will want to reply in a way that shows that you care about what they said, but leave lots of room for listening and letting the autistic person lead the way for the conversation. Some will want to talk more about it and others won’t feel comfortable revealing details. Sometimes even just saying simply “Oh, that’s cool!” With a smile can make an autistic feel at ease with revealing their identity.

Also, one last thing, we almost always allow for mistakes. Even sometimes fellow autistics say the wrong thing to those who reveal they are autistic to us. The biggest thing we ask is an open mind and a willingness to learn. Don’t get defensive or talk over us. Just listen.

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Allistics and autistics ok to reblog!

Part 2 of Day 4 of Autism Acceptance Month 2018

Check out:

Day 1: Introduction

Day 2: What I Love about Being Autistic is…

Day 3: My Discovery Story

Bonus: