✦ ʆɑiɗ-ɓɑck ✦

Badly describe my muse in my inbox.

"I'm pretty sure this yogurt is expired."

"I'm sore and tired and upset."

"So if you see a person that looks homeless, that's me."

"Should I bring you pants?"

"If you don't get up, I will call your ass."

"He's my platonic hoe. I, like, own that ass...platonically."

"You know your life sucks when you resort to drinking diet Dr. Pepper."

"Do you guys think I'm a slut?!"

"...And we crawled through the woods. We were sneaky and shit."

"So my night in general was pain."

"I'm not sad. I'm happy with doing nothing the rest of the day."

"Stop wallowing in self-pity."

"You decided to spend last night at an orgy instead of with us. Your loss, babe."

"I'm so alone. And cold."

"Alright, but the most important thing we've learned tonight is Pitbull's name is Armando Christian Pérez."

"This is awful. I'm gonna cry."

"Okay, you want pussy, we get it!"

"Pussy, pussy, pussy, marijuana."

"Well apparently no one in this fucking planet wants to hang out with me tomorrow."

"Honestly I'd rather be at home playing the sims."

"Lowkey regret my decision."

"Is no one gonna help me?!"

"Okay fine I'll just cry in the corn."

"We can drive the golf cart into he sunset."

"UPDATE: ________ WENT FLYING THROUGH THE GOLF CART WINDSHIELD AND I THINK I JUST PISSED MYSELF."

"_______. You. Little. Shit."

"Yeah, well, she threw my frog into the corn."

"I'm sorry bud. That joke is just gonna soar to new horizons...you see, it didn't seem to land."

"Okay, well, someone tell me I'm a cinnamon bun, because I am both very cute and precious."

Wendy strolled to her father’s side, unfazed by his all too familiar harsh tone. She enjoyed spending time with her father, despite the fact that his choice of activities was sometimes not very appealing to the lazy teen.

"So what are you going to be for Halloween?"

"Boo! Did I scare you?"

"You call THAT scary?"

"Eww, that costume is horrible. Change right now."

"Halloween without pumpkins is like Christmas without trees!"

"Worst. Carving. Ever."

"I know, my costume is amazing."

"Your costume is amazing!"

"Why don't we make this party a little scarier by playing truth or dare in the dark?"

"You call that a costume? It's like three tiny pieces of fabric!"

"I can't believe you're going as the same thing! One of us is going to have to change."

"Let's go for pumpkin spice lattes."

"Wanna go costume shopping with me?"

"Wanna go scare some kids?"

"Come on, dress up in it, for me."

"Are those fake vampire teeth in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"

"We could ditch this lame party and just make out next to the skeleton."

"Eww! There's pumpkin guts on me!"

"Um, I'm scared. Will you hold my hand?"

"I'm scared."

"No way am I going in there."

"Please go with me! I'll hold your hand the whole time."

"Help me decorate."

"Karaoke anyone?"

me: yeah i suppose i am

"Fucking meme drinking a candle."

"Go film a porno get famous."

"What the fuck ____!"

"Is this toy story porn, because that's what it looks like."

"SKYPE PLEASE MY MEMES"

"Shes a fucking asshole and tells me I have kooties"

"Kootie Kacie"

"Fucking game grumps"

"I WILL FIGHT"