the glitter won't stop me

I forget that I have Herpes Except when certain things occur. I try to love the new me I miss the old me I so badly miss her. I have mastered smiling when I am hurting deep inside, I have mastered laughing when I want to cry. When the tingling starts And the sores appear When I get my monthly And my panties are too near. When I meet a sweet, sexy man Who is free and clear I avoid the talk Can't face my fear. When I rub my eye and feel the panic "Shit did I wash my hands, Damn it!" When a friend or family member makes a herpes joke and I sit in silence I want to say something but I don't. I can't I won't. When my meds are running low And I am counting the days I am safe, Praying I get them in time.. Off to the Dr. For a refill I must go. I forget that I have Herpes Except when certain things occur. I try to love the new me I miss the old me I so badly miss her. I have mastered smiling when I am hurting deep inside, I have mastered laughing when I want to cry.

Self love, #inhalethefutureexhalethepast

The day was Tuesday, January 12, 2016 and my phone rang around 12:35pm, it was my Dr, I was nervous as shit to answer the damn phone. When I answered she calmly said, “your results are in”. My heart sank into my gut, she then says the one word I was not ready to hear, “ unfortunately” I instantaneously knew what was coming after, “the results came back positive for hsv1 AND hsv2” I instantly froze I could barely speak, she had though i hung up the phone. (Happy New Year, right?) I was in denial as I still am, I feel so helpless and hopeless, as I think to myself, “who would love a girl with herpes?” I’m only 22 for crying out loud. I do not know how to feel right now, when do you begin to feel okay with yourself? When do you feel “normal” again. I’m so thankful I found herplr cause had I not found @herplr I honestly don’t know what I would have done, I made the tumblr just for this. So if anyone has any advice they’d like to share please do. Thank you, sincerely still freaking out.