yeah i'm not totally sure either

hopefully i won't cry but i probably will given what it's about

as a non trans individual, I probably will understand literally 0% of this gorgeous film.

and struggled with and considered the possibility of being trans,

I Saw the TV Glow is a jaw DROPPING representation of gender invisibility.

Feeling like you aren't really right all the time, and nobody sees you for it.

Yet, also having those perfect moments where you look at yourself in makeup or in a baggy t-shirt and jeans, and you just feel the pendulum inside you swinging.

Feeling that pride to be different.

And then feeling the shame.

This quote really registered with me, and I felt like it embodied a lot of... well, everything:

"It feels like someone... took a shovel and dug out all my insides. And I know there's nothing in there, but I'm still too nervous to open myself up and check."

Whether its looking back and acknowledging past traumas, or looking forward and accepting present ones,

Or realizing that pulling or pushing yourself into different norms, and failing to open the door into 'normality' every time, is because it was open the whole time - and all you had to do was walk through it.

I saw the TV Glow was genuine cinema.

Don't think I'll ever see anything like it again.

and then she closed herself up again

and then she apologized to people who weren't listening

and then it was over

genuinely that was one of the most heart wrenching movies i've ever seen, DEFINITELY the scariest movie i've watched as a (semi) trans person

i honestly had to take around 30 minutes to just process that and remind myself that I am alive, that my heart is still beating, that I am still breathing, and that I'm okay

that moment when you're watching it as a trans person, and every cell in your body is begging her to not stop, to not run away, please please please. you need to see it more than you've needed anything. and then she does. she sees everything inside herself in a bathroom all alone where we've all been, and she closes it all up, her emaciated and sickly body barely holding her up, and she walks back into an arcade room apologizing for her outburst to a building full of people who refuse to see or hear her.

"I found my heart, Isabel. I found yours too. And it was still beating."

hopefully i won't cry but i probably will given what it's about

as a non trans individual, I probably will understand literally 0% of this gorgeous film.

hopefully i won't cry but i probably will given what it's about

as a non trans individual, I probably will understand literally 0% of this gorgeous film.