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Tonight I had this aaahmazing Curry Ginger Squash soup. I found the recipe on kitchendaily.com. SO good.

You can see I added some cheez and black pepper. It was reallllly good without it but then I saw the delicious mozzarella just sitting alone in my fridge and couldn't resist adding it. Which was tasty as well.

1 apple

1 piece of toast and pb

1 egg with mushroom tomato spinach in a spinach tortilla/wrap

1 mixed greens salad with tuna noodle salad on side

1 grainy bun

Unnecessar(ies):

1 mini package of m and ms

1 almond latte

3 cups of coffee

Water

BUT finally yesterday we got together and set up a workout schedule and goals for me to be working towards.

My goals:

cardiovascular health

flexibility

lose inches- more lean body mass

stamina

brown rice with vegetables and curry

trail mix cup from commons

chocolate cream cheese rasberry muffin from commons

Today was a flop.

1 pc pizza for bfast

strawban smoothie with almond milk

1/2 bowl of veggie chili

1/2 chocolate croissant

2 coffees

1 cinn spice tea

And then I went to work and had a egg white turkey bacon sandwich with 1 cinnamon coffee cake and banana bread

YEsterday seems so far away:

oatmeal with banana, strawberries, flax seed, and almond milk

curried carrot soup with chickpeas and cashews, garlic parmesan pretzel crisps.... (Does a microscopic trace of parmesan dust count as a dairy product?? :P )

an americano for a snack

vegetable chili! My very own delicious recipe. And by recipe I mean clean out the fridge/freezer concoction. Peas, corn, diced tomatoes, garbonzo beans, carrot puree (for thickness) and tons of spices as per usual! Cumin, fiesta lime, chili powder, garlic powder, celery salt, black pepper, red pepper, and vegetable broth. I definitely recommend this one!

If I ate anything else, I  forgot about it already. OOPS

I spent two hours in the drawing studio yesterday. Drawing a skeleton... Then went to the dance studio and sweat my ass off for an hour and ten minutes.

Small success of the day: I chose not to eat my free meal at work! I work at a restaurant with delicious food but every single thing on the employee menu is cheesy or creamy or meaty. I usually op for a soup and salad with bread and butter, but even that isn't working anymore. SO YAY for me for going home and having my carrot soup with pretzels right? 

Well if I needed some motivation to get in shape then I got what I asked for.

My professor asked me to do a solo for the spring dance concert! I am beyond excited and sooooo honored. But now it's time for some self discipline. From today on I am committing to consuming only fruits, vegetables, beans, seeds, nuts, and whole grains. ONLY... and no meat or dairy.. because I am an all or nothing kind of person. I try to deal with rationing and smaller portions but it's just not working for me so I'm gonna go a bit crazy for awhile. And it's really awesome to have a goal to work towards because then I have something to look forward to instead of just saying "oh I'll lose weight whenever it happens"

For an example of what my lack of self control looks like, read onward!

today consisted of oatmeal, a soy tea latte, a bite of lemon poppyseed bread, coffee, and a shot of a minty sugary coffee drink.

for lunch I had a small bag of chex mix, two cookies that were just laying around, some fresh mushrooms, a bite of sambusa, and some hot tea

for a snack I had 3/4 of a piece of sausage pizza someone offered me because I was complaining about being hungry even though i wasn't. ha. oral fixation.

annnnd then for dinner Chris (my manly) and I went to an on campus place of grease and misery and got fries, and a buffalo chicken wrap. PLUS i had some of his garden burger which is a mushy sodium packed excuse for a "healthy choice." Let's go college universities of America. Step up your game !!!!!

Oh yeah. aaaaand then I had a chocolate muffin with some coffee. 

Now here I am sitting in a coffee shop drinking iced tea.

So I know it could be much worse, but keep in mind that my goal each day is to eat completely vegan with a very small if any amount of anything unhealthy. So from that perspective I fail completely WHOOT WHOOOT! Also most of the time I am sedentary. (Not really, but today I basically sat the entire day, besides working and standing for four hours this morning.) So that whole calories in/ calories out isn't really going on. Well the calories in part is. .. Approx. 7 calories out, though.

Okay here we go!

I just reread what i said yesterday:

"I always try to switch it up in the weightroom"

| My workout last night |

Took it to the weight room! (A big deal for me because I'd almost always prefer to be in the dance studio)

elliptical for 20 minutes, weights for 30, and stretching for 15. and then I got flustered because two people walked in and put their purses on my machine.... so I left because I'm pathetic! 

I always do weights, cardio, and stretching in smaller increments of time and then add it all up at the end (elliptical for five, weights for 10, stretch for 5, and repeat... kind of like that.)

Started the day at 6:30 am!

I'm trying to maintain begin a regular sleep schedule since apparently your quality of sleep is better and it's easier to wake up in the morning. I never have a problem falling asleep but waking up in the morning is absolutely torturous for me and I usually end up hitting the snooze button 7 or 8 times. BUT, enough is enough!

So what lured me out of bed this morning was the prospect of delicious breakfast made for me by my lover. It meant waking up, getting ready, and driving to his house before the sun was even fully up, but worth it! We try to have date night every Tuesday and usually go out to eat, but I've been working until 9:30 every Tuesday so this week we changed it up and it's been a good day so far. We had oatmeal with blueberries, almonds and almond milk with fresh, hot coffee. I will probably never ever get sick of oatmeal.. It's just too damn good. Ohhhh and I also had a piece of toast with peanut butter. It was mediterranean herb bread and SO good, but I should have skipped it because I was too full by the time we were done. Oh well?

I don't count calories or really even keep track of portions because it's not really about that. I try to eat until I'm full and then stop and stop putting food in my mouth just because it tastes good. When I start worrying about portions and calories I just get stressed out and make more exceptions rather than just eating until I'm full. If I am even slightly hungrier than whatever 100 calorie portion I've eaten, then it's all I can think about until my next meal! I'm definitely a three meals a day kind of person so it's hard for me to just not eat even though the clock is telling me it's lunch time. But it gets easier! When I was eating only vegan food, it was a lot easier to stay away from unhealthy foods because I just knew that if It contained meat or dairy I wasn't going to eat it. And then I lost weight. But when i try to eat that food only once in awhile, it turns into WAY more than once in awhile and all of a sudden i'm eating cheesy delicious pizza everyday and right back to where I was. Maybe it works for some people but at this point in my life I'm definitely an all or nothing kind of person.

b: oatmeal with strawberries and honey. I made a bowl and then ate 3/4 of it because it got cold...

coffee with just a splash of Bailey's :) good start to the morning!

ms: bananananana

l: rice with mixed veggies and chickpeas with lots of spices! (fiesta lime, chili powder, garlic pepper, crushed red pepper)

as: everything pretzel crisps

d: rice with veggies (the rest from earlier... didn't have time to go home!)

ns: coffee with a rasberry cream cheese chocolate muffin (WHOAH guys okay it was free and my lovely man surprised me with it.)

well I kinda fell of the wagon (again) for a few months. Gained ten pounds back and I can tell. My bras used to HANG off of me and now they're back to being tight as fuuuuuu again and rolls of back fat hang spill out the sides. That's fine. Not the end of the world. Just an observation I guess it's just kind of depressing that I actually made some progress for the first time in 734923 years and now I ruined half of it.