Change
So much is different from the last time I posted. I was a lil’ baby college student with no idea wtf i was doing. Still have no idea wtf i’m doing but at least have a better understanding of what I can’t and won’t do with my life (in terms of jobs, relationships, where I’m living, and who I will give my time, energy, and empathy to.)
I’ve been realizing that I lost or stopped using many of the creative outlets I used to have- and I like tumblr bc it just feels good to get stuff out of my head and into the universe. It feels more productive for some reason. I’ve kinda been fucked up lately and feeling like a shell of a woman and like I’m failing myself and my relationships. I don’t think it’s necessarily bad to feel like that sometimes because it can bring perspective and growth, but this time the feeling has lasted for a couple months and I can’t shake it. The change in seasons has helped, but I want and need to get out of my head and feelings. I want and need to figure some shit out and the only way to do that is to stop the unhealthy toxic habits that I’ve allowed myself to foster over the past few years. Step one is to stop pretending that everything is ok when it isn’t. I don’t owe false happiness to anyone. And anyway constant positivity is creepy and weird right? Haha idk
