I AM AN EXIT

i think its interesting how Δ characterizes witches as kind of a literati or clerical class that like, explicitly in the text enjoys wealth and prosperity at the expense of the common people but also u notice that theyre allowed gender nonconformity and gender equality that the common people arent, its common for female witches to have cropped hair and wear pants and male witches to have long hair and wear robes where the common people even including the royalty have more grounded historical dress including the stark genderedness of presentation and the subjugation of women to the private sphere. im not sure if this was exactly intentional or if it was just the inevitable result of everything else intentional about class but i thought it was cool

obvi it makes me look like a hypocrite yucking on people liking male characters given that i also like male characters its just that like i feel like there is actually a wide gulf between characters that are male in a sterile objective sense, where they have the pronouns and appearance we accept as male, and characters that like, are men who take part in a patriarchal society in the canon of the fiction. because like transformers is incredibly misogynist in real life but like, realistically, in what ways "is" megatron, in the fiction, a man? how does he actually relate to the necessary power structures that create gender in the real world? is this actually comparable to the way that gi joe "is" a man? i just dont think so! not accounting for the social context of fandom routinely prioritizing characters that are male in ANY sense tho because i think thats also a fully justified problem to have with "liking" male characters but its a different thing

i have all these recurring locations in my dreams that are neither real places ive been nor places from like, video games or movies or anything but that are weirdly consistent modulo weird dream shit. like theres a model of "my grandparents house" thats showed up a couple times thats some ridiculous minimalist modernist white-and-dark-wood floaty stairs shit and the stuff around it is never sensical or related at all but that one main room is there so often. i just had a dream that transiently included a set ive seen before at least twice that i think is probably like a really condensed and reskinned version of a real y-shaped street in this city a la flatironbuilding-blog except instead of sprawling and open its narrowly enclosed by featureless brick buildings and always warm and moody and has a bunch of cafes with people seated at tables directly on the street on the right and on the left behind the buildings is greenspace, which is also always in shadow. its funny like it FEELS like somehow theres some shit stuffed way in the back in my brain that they keep reusing to keep costs down. i started paying way more attention to my dreams after LDN because they got a lot more vivid and memorable so i dont know if this is An Ldn Dreams Thing or not, most of the weird dream sets i remember from before then i think were one-off. and the idea that this is somehow a medication effect puzzles and delights me. this shit is so weird man

been trying to figure out for a while how to talk/think about a character who transitions late in a story. unrelated to the amazing digital jax but the same deal anyway. but like when its a character that just exists out in the world where other people resist that transition narrative entirely its a political thing to insist on post-transition pronouns and everything, u cant trust that most people would compassionately call a pre transition character "he" while knowing that theyre still a girl regardless and so saying "he" is often intentional signalling that you prefer that character to be permanently pre- or non-transitioning. but like. when that context doesnt exist (and in the (imaginary) context of serial storytelling where we in the real world "canonically" exist "before" its true) it feels kind of janky and cheap to just skip to the end like that. but obviously it feels weird and coded to do anything else, like, the same way that people are using "they" for ralsei to signal that they disagree with her being a girl even if theyre willing to concede neutrality. idk

didnt watch tadc and probably won't but something i really like about the jax everything is that it's become like even a little little bit a popular subject how a refusal to transition can easily be kind of A Bad End where youve forsaken everything you believe in and everything that could save you and thats just how your story ends