Hi I'm Fishy

I'm in a little local cafe and the women behind the counter started griping to each other, "Oh Christ, Stephen's back again," "It's him, is it? I thought he'd stopped coming," "It's definitely him, look, it's bloody Stephen on a Thursday morning," "Do you want me to get rid of him or are you going to do it?" and so I was peering outside, trying to spot this nightmare customer, this pestilence of a person, this pox upon the cafe trade, and then one of the women from behind the counter ran outside, clapping two trays together loudly and yelling "GET OUT OF IT, STEPHEN!" and it turns out that Stephen is an absolutely gigantic fuck-off seagull who hangs around outside, menacing people for crumbs

dawn dimmadome? wife of doug dimmadome, owner of the dimmsdale dimmadome?

actually she took the dimmadome in the dimmadivorce

OHHHHH the phrase "go off half-cocked" refers to a gun that fires before the firing pin is fully in position. that makes sense I thought it was like. a different thing

fucking optical illusion fun house shit going on with american trucks wth

Mr Beast wants to be a Jigsaw apprentice so bad its diabolical

huge fan of when characters love each other and are closely bonded in an explicitly nonromantic way. however ☝️ i am very much not a huge fan of what happens when characters like this are introduced to fandom

coupons used to mean something now deals are like HURRY NOW! get 3 free napkins when you spend $75+ 😋