Traditional spousal roles include a dominant male and a submissive female. These roles have been changing so that men and women have a more egalitarian relationship. However, some couples enjoy a relationship in which the woman is more dominant than the man. In order for this to work, both parties need to agree it’s what they want. The dominant female differs from a dominatrix as the role is expanded to include all areas of the relationship, not just the sexual aspects…
Talk to your man about the role you want, or maybe he wants you to take as a dominant woman. Some men suggest this role because they find it more alluring or comfortable; others are open to it as a way to add some spice to the relationship on a part-time or, in some cases, full-time basis. Find out what you both want from the relationship and what the comfort zones are as far as dominance. Make a list of the areas you want to dominate. This can include things like household chores, sexual relations or controlling how free time is spent. Approach your man with the list to see if these areas are agreeable to him. Take the initiative in these areas. Tell your man what chores to do and when to do them, how he will spend time on his days off and what you expect in the bedroom. Some dominant women expand the dominance in the bedroom to include submissive positions and things like bondage equipment, but this up to the comfort level of both parties…
As mentioned above, in order to train your man you will need to establish an agreement of the things you want him to learn, the rules you want him to practice and eventually stick to. Unless your only ambition is part-time bedroom play, if you have no ‘female led relationship’ agreement or relationship strategy you are not ready for training or creating profound changes in your relationship. Fact is, the more you demand, the more you will eventually receive. Your regular and playful, but firm acknowledgement of him as the submissive party in your relationship will very quickly encourage your man to become far more service-oriented than you could ever have imagined…
It must be said that beginners to this lifestyle often struggle most with the following dilemma: what you want your man to learn in your female led relationship and what he wants to learn are very different. In all likelihood, you want him to learn to overcome his bad habits, work independently, take a little more initiative around the house, find fulfillment in growing, gain confidence in your leadership and participate as your supportive follower. He primarily wants to learn how to serve your body, obey your commands, please you sexually, humble himself and learn what it is like to surrender. Because of the difference and size of the task at hand you must choose your personal targets and accompanying rules for him wisely…
As with all things, the middle ground is often found through compromise. If you want his undivided attention, and pampering, then you’ll need to play into his fantasy. He will love it, and you will get better results. Make it your first goal to find out what motivates him, his innermost sexual fantasies,…and use this information to tease and arouse him, edging him on further towards serving you unconditionally and accepting a more female led relationship. Chances are, he was the one who showed initial interest, and suggested to you a possible change in lifestyle, one that strokes his fantasies and is more than just bedroom play. In this particular fantasy of his you can safely assume that:
-He wants you to exert power over him including humiliation and punishment of some sort.
-He wants your interest and participation level to be high and for you to show confidence and make demands.
-He wants you to control sex and his orgasm, often including fantasies of fetish sex, props and costumes.
-He has a willingness to give up control to you.
-He has a high interest in your body and in serving you as a woman.
Although no doubt overwhelming and possibly confusing at first, receiving such unbridled and enthusiastic attention from your man quickly becomes not only fun, but incredibly addictive. It is a fact that almost all women entering this lifestyle quickly see the rewards, and claim they would never choose to go back to the way things used to be in their relationships with their man. With a little variation and planning, you can enjoy rich personal pleasures from the man you love while playing into his fantasy. The trick to training him and keeping him motivated consists of two elements; a degree of orgasm management on your behalf to ensure his masturbating doesn’t lock him into a constant state of sexual/emotional indifference, and a regular dose of teasing to keep his sexual energy’s flowing…
