also I don't think parents "these days" are uniquely terrible, I just think neglect is showing up in new ways as technology progresses. today's ipad kid would've been wandering around in a ditch alone all day and night before. parents not wanting to have to deal with children is not a new phenomenon.

sorry for the mixed signals I don’t know what I want or what I’m doing mostly

fellatio sounds like a supporting shakespeare character rather than oral sex on a penis to be honest

got my first ever official customer complaint because when i was going over the terms of their life insurance they were like "well i don't plan to die" and i was like "well you're going to"

i would fuck him [remembers im talking about a real person] um [remembers its normal to be attracted to people] i would fuck him

"you only like her because shes a woman" yup "you let female characters get away with too much" yes "if a man did this you would hate him for it" indeed

Another reason why trains would be good is that most people are not good at driving

you literally have to unironically listen to some shit like party rock anthem so you don’t kill yourself

complimented a womans clear raincoat this morning and she said Well i feel like a sandwich

I would have said clit if I was her

you keep your clitoris in a plastic bag?

the postal service names their shit exactly like how a 16 y.o. names angsty fanfic

Explain.