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@finlandfacts
The many meanings of Vittu, the most common Finnish swear word:
vittu - "cunt"
vittu! - "fuck!"
vitut. - "fuck it"
vitut! - "bullshit!"
vitun - "fucking"
vitusti - "fucking lot of/much"
vittua? - "what the fuck?"
vitus? - "why the fuck?"
vittuilla - "fuck with"
vituttaa - "I'm pissed off"
vittumainen - "fucking annoying"
vittumaisuuttaan - "out of pure dickishness"
It is also a filler word, that can be vittu used at vittu any point in a vittu sentence.
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"Kumarreksituteskenteleentuvaisehkollaismaisekkuudellisenneskenteluttelemattomammuuksissansakaankopahan"Â is a word.
It's a long word. It means fuck all if I know. But it's not the longest word in the Finnish language.
Let me explain:
FINLAND FACTS PRESENTS: "Finnish Jokes That Don't Translate Well Into English"
Lawyers know all sorts of things.
Let's get varnish from the harbor when it stops raining.
What do dementia patients sing during Christmas? "Because It's Christmas".
Join us next time, when we tell Swedish jokes that don't translate well into Swedish.
This is the first image you get when you google "Finnish army".
The Finnish Defence Forces (lead by this fucking guy, we elected him because we didn't want a gay president) are conscripted from the male population. Every Finnish adult male has to serve in the military, or perform civil service (which is stigmatised: "It's just washing men's assholes in a retirement home!") for twice as long. Or go to prison.
Conscription is against the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. Finns are mostly fine with it though, because we don't give a fuck about things. Another reason is fear of our Russian neighbor, and the popular assumption that the only thing keeping them from invading a small, peaceful, Western democracy is our "credible defence forces" [see image 1].
Anyway Finland's economy is based mostly on lumber.
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During World War Two, after Finland's alliance with Nazi Germany, the United Kingdom declared war on us. Though they never engaged in battle, it was the first and only war ever declared by one democracy on another.
Christ I'm stealing facts from QI now. Jesus what happened to my self-respect.
.
.
.
I mean seriously what the fuck happened? I used to have dreams, and I used to work for those dreams. I had something, some reason to get up in the morning. But then I guess I realised it was easier to just give up. To give it all up. To give up trying, to give up reaching. To give up dreaming.
Now what do I do. Here I am, alone. It's dark. It's cold outside. All I see is the unmeaning and heartless light beaming at me from my computer monitor. I'm alone. All alone. We all are. We pretend we're not but we really are. We're alone and we're dying. All of us, not just us but people. Not just people but the whole fucking species is dying. We should be screaming. Every single one of us should be screaming and crying and gnashing and tearing but we don't. We smile. How the fuck can we smile and laugh and sing We're at a funeral for the human species and we're smiling. Smiling. Smiling
Yo Google, what up with this?
Finland has so many lakes you guys
This is a Finnish World War Two era anti-Russian propaganda song called "Between the Eyes" ("Silmien välliin"). The lyrics implore Finnish soldiers to "shoot the Russians between the eyes", and that "He who brings civilisation will be poisoned by nickel".
The lyrics are here.
There is a metal cover for it here.
This is the national anthem of Finland. It's called "Our Country Song".
Its lyrics are from a Swedish poem. It was then set to the tune of the Estonian national anthem, which was taken from a German parlour song.
Some say that "Finlandia" by Jean Sibelius would be a more appropriate anthem, as it is by a Finnish composer and called Finlandia, and isn't a German drinking game. The idea never caught on because no one gives a shit.
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We here at Finland Facts would like to apologise for the previous comment about Swedish superiority. Sometimes the thousand monkeys on a thousand typewriters who write this blog make these kinds of mistakes.
Also, though no one is yet to complain, we would like to apologise for the low frequency of updates. The Finnish newspaper Iltalehti has been hogging the monkeys.
It's so hard coming up with interesting facts about fucking Finland. Christ, I wish I was Swedish.
Hmmm....
Finland Facts Presents: "JAG ÄR SVENSKA NY" (trans. "I am Sweden now")
Did you know that Sweden is a country with a beautiful geography and an impressive history, with a polite people and significant international influence?
Of course you do, because everyone loves Sweden! Oh where are you from? Oh Sweden! Oh that is soo coool! I know right it's like a real country!
Hahaha I'm going to go have fun with my sexy accent and my better hockey team and my bigger population and my better culture and literature and hey did you know we have a ballsack called Finland? Must suck to be those guys!
[I'm sorry, I'm bitter and drunk.]
Wearing a towel or pants or whatever in a sauna makes you a pussy.
Helsinki is the capital city of Finland.
Many clever foreigners often joke about the city's name, as it contains the English words "Hell" and "sin".
Also the Tagalog word "ki", which means serial rape.
This bad boy is the flag of Finland.
The blue represents the country's abundant lakes, and the white represents the empty void of meaning in the absurd ballet we call existence lol jk it's snow.
The cross represents the fact that Sweden and Norway had a cross and we wanted to fit in.
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You know what they call a quarter pounder with cheese, in Finland?
Nothing, cause we don't have quarter pounder with cheese. But at least we have functioning infrastructure! Suck on those quarter pounders, "America".
Canada facts friday
Hey guys did you know that Canada sucks and is terrible and I hate you CanadaÂ