Don’t believe everything you think...

it can be silent and it is still triumphant. it can happen in crowded chinese restaurants and cramped dressing rooms and between the pages of your journal and the long-neglected corners of your memories.

your recovery doesn’t have to be loud to matter.

Imagine if you didn’t have this disorder(s)? Who would you be?

What would I be feeling right now instead of being overwhelmed with anxiety, sadness and thoughts of suicide? What kind of person am I or could I have been without it?

How would I have been described? Would I ever have been described as cheerful? An optimist? Approachable? Open? Would I be more trusting? Could I have been kinder? Less needy? More independent? Less obsessive? More accepting?

Would I ever have been accepting of my body? Will I ever love my body or at least accept it? Will the feelings of self-hatred ever leave me? Have these traits always been a part of me? Can they go away or will they always be there?

What parts of my personality are me and what parts are the disorders I suffer from?

I’m sick and tired. Imagine waking up every day and feeling every negative feeling under the sun in one day. I’m fed up with the anger, paranoia, anxiety, depression, resentment and emptiness. I’m over feeling abandoned, rejected, lonely, different and disconnected with everything and everyone.

I have no will to keep fighting. I don’t have the strength nor the determination for recovery. Yet I know relapsing will bring more anguish. So I’m stuck in no-mans land. Unable to move forward, unwilling to go back.

I’m tired but not just physically. I’m mentally exhausted but the sort of fatigue that penetrates right into your very core. It overwhelms you and resonates through your entire being. It’s debilitating and torturing.

The company has insisted there’s nothing wrong with their posters and has “absolutely no intention of removing the adverts because of a minority making a lot of noise.” CEO Arjun Seth said that the people defacing his posters are “terrorists” and that he would only take notice of the petition if it gained one million signatures. [via]