Finding the Way to the Heart

We Orthodox Christians are engaged on a quest of eternal significance. We must search for and find the heart, which is at the center of our human personhood ( Fr Zacharias Zacharou, The Enlargement of the Heart). This is what the Apostle Peter refers to as; "the hidden person of the heart" I Peter 3:4 NKJV.

And what is the heart? "Thus, as the bodily heart is the center of the body's life, the spiritual heart is the center of our spiritual life. The heart governs the whole body and when Grace conquers the whole heart, then it reigns over all thoughts and parts."Arch. Spyridon Logothetis, The Heart, p.29-30. In Pauline terminology the spirit and the heart are one and the same. "The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God"Rom.8:16. "To St Paul the heart is the place of man's spirit" Fr. John Romanides, Patristic Theology p.20. The heart, says Fr. Zacharias "..is the place where God's communion with man is cultivated, the Spirit of God is revealed, operates and prays" The Enlargement of the Heart, p.115. Consequently, the entire struggle in prayer has as its aim the discovery and conquest of the heart.ibid We may also ask ourselves, where is the heart? Fr. Zacharias answers "The heart is within our chest. When we speak of the heart, we speak of our spiritual heart which coincides with the fleshly one; but when man receives illumination and sanctification, then his whole being becomes a heart." The Hidden Man of The Heart" p.12. "Our spiritual heart is not material.. it exists on top or inside the bodily heart" Fr. Spyridon Logothetis, The Heart, p.27.

On this point St. Kallistos, Patriarch of Constantinople says: "It is astonishingly great that God the Father, poured from His Spirit a noetic sensation( noera aesthisis) or breath to the bodily hearts of those who rightly believed in the incarnate Logos". ibid p.28 The darkness and desolation of a heart ravished by sin is indeed appalling. In a heart that has not been purified," there are dragons and there are lions; there are poisonous beasts and all the treasures of evil " St Macarius, Homily 43:7, The Fifty Spiritual Homilies, p. 222. "Like a thick smoke in a one-room house, so is sin with its filthy thoughts. It settles down and creeps over the thoughts of the heart along with an infinite number of demons".Hom. 43:7 "For the person that truly believes in Christ, must be transported and changed from his present state of evil to another state, one that is good.." Hom. 44:5 p.224. "He must be made anew by the power of the Holy Spirit. And in this way he can be fit for the heavenly kingdom" ibid. Thus a heart that has been made alive by the waters of holy baptism and regeneration of the Holy Spirit, has the kingdom of God within, " the kingdom of God is within you." Luke 17:21.

"Since the kingdom of God is within us, the heart is the battlefield of our salvation, and all ascetic effort is aimed at cleansing it of all filthiness, and preserving it pure before the Lord", Fr. Zacharias Zacharou, 'The Hidden Man of The Heart' p.1, Mount Thabor Publishing, 2008. St Cyril of Alexandria in his Commentary on the Gospel of St Luke, Trans. by R. Payne Smith, Studion Publishers, Inc. p.468 tells us that ""for it is within you, that is, it depends upon your own wills, and is in your own power, weather or not you receive it. For every man who has attained to justification by means of faith in Christ, and is adorned by all virtue, is counted worthy of the kingdom of heaven." And with the kingdom, we receive all the treasures of Grace. "But there is also God, also the angels, the life and the kingdom, the light and the apostles, the treasures of Grace- there are all things." St. Macarius, Hom.43:7, Fifty Spiritual Homilies, p.222. "He (God) is the One Who has fashioned the heart of every man in a unique and unrepeatable way" The Hidden Man of The Heart' p.2, Fr. Zacharias Zacharou.

Therefore let us, with fear and trembling, heed the sober warning of the Preacher, the son of David, King Solomon; " Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life" Proverbs 4:23.

The task ahead is not easy. King Solomon tells us that " Counsel in the heart of man is like deep water, But a man of understanding will draw it out" Proverbs20:5. Ultimately, we must all descend into the depths of our hearts, there to do battle with Satan; there to meet our Lord and learn humility from Christ, who "humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross" Phillipians 2:8 I intent to explore some of the teaching about the heart in Orthodox holy tradition in the following posts. 

Reliquary of the Apostle Paul in the Church of Agiou Pavlou, Thessaloniki, Greece

The beloved apostle Paul, in his letter to the Romans, gave them a commandment "But why do you judge your brother? Or why do you show contempt for your brother? For we shall all stand before the judgement seat of Christ. So then, each of us shall give account of himself to God. Therefore let us not judge one another anymore.." Romans 14:10, 12-13

Right after our Lord Jesus Christ chose his twelve apostles and gave them what we know as the 'Beatitudes', he commanded them to "judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not and you shall not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven."Luke 6:37

Metropolitan Jonah defines judging as "objectifying our brother according to his sin''. And what does this mean? It means reducing our brother to his sin and identifying our brother by and only by his sin. It means considering our brother to be his sin and no longer an immortal soul that encompasses much more than just his sin. By judging we place ourselves over our brother usurping the place of God and forget the gospel command to love our neighbor.

Now I propose that this objectification of our brother happens not only when we judge our brother but also when we sin against our fellow human being in any other way. Murderers, for example must dehumanize their victims before the brutal act is done. Think about the Holocaust. The Jews were undressed, branded as cattle and carried in trains designed to carry animals, taken to ovens in concentration camps and then slaughtered by the Nazis.

A person betraying a spouse by adultery objectifies both the spouse and the other person with whom he or she commits adultery. The spouse is often reduced to an object unfit to satisfy the adulterer's 'needs'. And the consort is in reality nothing more than a body whose function is to satisfy those same 'needs'. This objectification process goes on whether we are aware of it or not, in just about any sin against our neighbor. Pride, egotism and selfishness is at the heart of it.

Clearly, some situations we face in life require our assessment. But we must remember that even then our brother is a soul that could be corrected, that he is much more than his sin and that if he repents while we continue holding his sin against him, we will be judged with the same severity with which we judged our brother, while he will be vindicated by God. Most of our sins are committed in secret and only God, our father confessor and we ourselves know when our repentance takes place. The fathers teach that when we judge our brother we are in grave danger of being delivered over by God, to the sin we are judging. Geronda Ephraim of Philotheou and now St Anthony's tells us in his 'Counsels from the Holy Mountain' p.207 "When we judge our brother, we condemn ourselves to a great sin. But when we cover our brother, God will also protect us from grave sins. When we expose our brother, we drive the grace of God away from us and He permits us to fall into the same sins so that we learn that we are all weak and that the grace of God supports us."

Discernment is not guile. It is neither, cunning, malice or cleverness. Discernment is not judging present experiences in the light of past ones. It is not being astute or wise in the ways of the world. All of these things I just mentioned are sin. Discernment is a gift of the Holy Spirit given only to those in a very high level of purification of their souls. Discernment is described in step 26Th of the Ladder of Divine Ascent by John Climacus. The saint tells us;

" Discernment in beginners is true knowledge of themselves; in intermediate souls it is a spiritual sense that faultlessly distinguishes what is truly good from what is of nature and opposed to it.; and in the perfect, it is knowledge which they have within by Divine illumination, and which can enlighten with its lamp what is dark in others. Or perhaps, generally speaking, discernment is, and is recognized as, the certain understanding of the Divine Will on alloccasions, in every place and in all matters; and it is only found in those who are pure in heart, and in body and in mouth." p 161.

Therefore, if discernment is such a rare gift of the Holy Spirit, who can judge with righteous judgement? Our judgement will certainly be tainted by our own sin.

Let us learn humility and occupy ourselves with our own souls. And remember , in the words of St Silouan and elder Sophrony that 'our brother is our life';

"Oh Lord give tears that my heart may weep for soul of 

my brother day and night! (1)

Prophet Samuel Anoints David as King of Israel Interior of the synagogue in Dura Europos Syria

King Prophet David

From Oral Jewish Tradition we receive a wonderful story. This is one of the most heart-warming stories concerning Old Testament women, I have ever read. It explains the immediate circumstances related to Psalm 69 and other verses from the Psalms, and Gospel Old Testament quotations. It also explains the circumstances of King David around the time of his anointing as King of Israel. As Orthodox Christians these verses and the stories themselves have a prophetic significance and for us they point to our Lord Jesus Christ. What a great woman was the mother of King David! Both Nitzevet and her son King David are an example of humility, patience and trust in God in the midst of suffering. And Nitzevet could be considered a type of the Theotokos, who Herself suffered shame unjustly, at the time of Her Conception of our Lord.

Nitzevet, Mother of David

The Bold Voice of Silence

By Chana Weisberg Save me, O G-d, for the waters threaten to engulf me... I am wearied by my calling out and my throat is dry. I've lost hope in waiting... More numerous than the hairs on my head are those who hate me without reason... Must I then repay what I have not stolen? Mighty are those who would cut me down, who are my enemies without cause... O G-d, You know my folly, and my unintended wrongs are not hidden from You... It is for Your sake that I have borne disgrace, that humiliation covers my face. I have become a stranger to my brothers, an alien to my mother's sons. Out of envy for Your House, they ravaged me; the disgraces of those who revile You have fallen upon me... Those who sit by the gate talk about me. I am the taunt of drunkards... Disgrace breaks my heart and I am left deathly sick. I hope for solace but there is none, and for someone to comfort me but I find no one. They put gall into my meal and give me vinegar to quench my thirst... (Psalm 69)1

This Psalm describes the life of a poor, despised and lowly individual who lacks even a single friend to comfort him. It is the voice of a tormented soul who has experienced untold humiliation and disgrace. Through no apparent cause of his own, he is surrounded by enemies who wish to cut him down; even his own brothers are strangers to him, ravaging and reviling him. Amazingly, this is the voice of the mighty King David, righteous and beloved servant of G-d, feared and awed by all.

King David had many challenges throughout his life. But at what point did this great individual feel so alone, so disgraced, and so undeserving of love and friendship?

What caused King David to face such an intense ignominy, to be shunned by his own brothers in his home ("I have become a stranger to my brothers"), by the Torah sages who sat in judgment at the gates ("those who sit by the gate talk about me"), and by the drunkards on the street corners ("I am the taunt of drunkards")? What had King David done to arouse such ire and contempt? And was there no one, at this time in his life, who would provide him with love, comfort and friendship?

This Psalm, in which King David passionately gives voice to the heaviest burdens of his soul, refers to a period of twenty-eight years, from his earliest childhood until his being coronated as king of the people of Israel by the prophet Samuel.

David was born into the illustrious family of Yishai (Jesse), who served as the head of the Sanhedrin (supreme court of Torah law) and was one of the most distinguished leaders of his generation. Yishai was a man of such greatness that the Talmud (Shabbat 55b) observes that, "Yishai was one of only four righteous individuals who died solely due to the instigation of the serpent"--i.e. only because death was decreed upon the human race when Adam and Eve ate from the Tree of Knowledge at the serpent's instigation, not due to any sin or flaw of his own. David was the youngest in his family, which included seven other illustrious and charismatic brothers.

Yet, when David was born, this prominent family greeted his birth with utter derision and contempt. As David describes quite literally in the Psalm, "I was a stranger to my brothers, a foreigner to my mother's sons...they put gall in my meal and gave me vinegar to quench my thirst." David was not permitted to eat with the rest of his family, but was assigned to a separate table in the corner. He was given the task of shepherd because "they hoped that a wild beast would come and kill him while he was performing his duties"2 and for this reason was sent to pasture in dangerous areas full of lions and bears.3 Only one individual throughout David's youth was pained by his unjustified plight and felt a deep, unconditional bond of love for the child whom she alone knew was undoubtedly pure. This was King David's mother, Nitzevet bat Adel, who felt the intensity of her youngest child's pain and rejection as her own. Torn and anguished by David's unwarranted degradation, yet powerless to stop it, Nitzevet stood by the sidelines, in solidarity with him, shunned herself, as she, too, cried rivers of tears, awaiting the time when justice would be served. It would take twenty-eight long years of assault and rejection, suffering and degradation until that justice would finally begin to materialize. David's Birth Why was the young David so reviled by his brothers and people?

Please read the rest of the story here .

Patmos- The Cave of The Revelation to St John

“ Now when He had taken the scroll, the four living creatures and the twenty-four elders fell down before the lamb, each having a harp, and golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of the saints” Rev. 5:8 An amazing transformation happens in the minds and hearts of those who journey to Mount Athos in pilgrimage. Peace and freedom of cares quiet the soul making it possible to pray. As I walked pass the massive steel gate of the monastery of Philotheou and into the inner courtyard, it was as if I had never left. I could hear my friends, monks S. and D. calling me, but even as I greeted them, my inner being was still. “ Lord Jesus Christ have mercy on me”. The words come, continuously and effortlessly, “ Lord Jesus Christ have mercy on me” and the world behind me is forgotten.

When the talanton called us to Vespers, I entered the main church and was embraced by the darkness inside. Only a few lamps were lit and in the twilight of the candles, the icons of the saints appeared as living and terrible as an army ready for battle; their faces very holy and radiant but also, imposing in their steadfastness.

I bowed down before the icon of our Panagia, the Sweet Kissing, and thanked Her for bringing me safely to Her Holy Garden. The evening service was already in progress. I took my place among the faithful, as I silently prayed; ”Let my prayer be set before Thee as incense, the lifting up of my hands as the evening sacrifice.” Psalm 141:2 .It was very difficult to move my eyes away from the faces of the Holy Warriors all around me. They seemed to call out with God’s words to Joshua, son of Nun:” Lo! I have commanded thee; be strong and courageous, be neither cowardly nor fearful for the Lord thy God is with thee in all places whither thou goest”. Joshua 1:9

After the evening services, Fr. S. asked me to follow him into the forest. He walked ahead silently until we found ourselves walking on a very narrow path. There was a precipice to our right and to our left a massive stonewall with sharp edges pushing us in the opposite direction and into the precipice. And the sight of the beautiful trees around us was conspiring into making me lose my step. Father S. walked ahead decisively and with confidence. I was not so sure. And without any superfluous words of introduction, the monk started to narrate for me from the lives of saints; “when the moment of death came for a holy monk and he was already experiencing the life to come; a demon appeared to the dying monk saying...now you have vanquished me, you have won. But the holy monk, in humility responded, while I’m still alive, I fear a fall and I will be watchful! And the enemy vanished!” Throughout the duration of my pilgrimage, the urgency and seriousness of Father S.’s warning remained alive in my consciousness.

The next day I visited the osteophilakio with Fr. S. This is the house where all the bones of the departed monks of Philotheou are kept. Among them Fr. S. showed me the skull of Fr. Athanasios who was the brother in the flesh of elder Joseph the Hesychast. I held his skull close to my heart and said a prayer for him. When I realized the significance of what was happening, I could only weep inside. And why is this blessing given to me, that I may hold elder Joseph’s brother in my arms? I cannot fathom these things.

Father D. showed me the garden under his care that day, sometime in the afternoon; after we were done picking green beans. And he told me that insects do not bother his crop. He never has the need to use insecticides so his vegetables are very healthy. Miracles are a way of life in Mount Athos. They are received naturally, without affectation, as the familiar and even expected outcome of daily life. And alongside the extraordinary, the daily routine is lived out in humility and with courage.

And so, I followed the daily schedule expecting the ordinary but praying for a little gift of grace and mercy. Thursday morning, after the Divine Liturgy, monk S. and I left Philotheou and drove to Karyes where we visited a few of the holy sites. Among them, the icon Agion Estin of the Theotokos is now in a small chapel near the Protaton, while restoration of the old church takes place. At St Andrew skete we venerated the skull of the Apostle Andrew that is very fragrant. The aroma seems to penetrate the depths of my being. It is very difficult to walk away. In this skete’s main church there are many icons. Among them, there is an icon of St. Sergios of Radonez that has a piece of the holy man’s coffin in it. There is also an icon of St. Seraphim, which contains a piece of the rock upon which he prayed for many days. Fr. Ephraim explained to us that the rock exploded into many pieces during the glorification of the saint. When we arrived at Vatopaidi it was almost time for vespers. After dinner we venerated some of the wondrous relics of the monastery like the Belt of the Theotokos, a large portion of the Cross, the skulls of St. Gregory the Theologian and St John Chrysostom and the arm of St. Panteleimon. Among the relics are the bones of St. Evdokimos, an unknown holy monk found at the monastery. When the relics were found, they were fragrant and their sanctity was manifest. Later on, the saint appeared in a dream to one of the living monks and revealed his name to be Savva, but he said that he accepted the name given to him by the monastery. While we were at the guesthouse I had the blessing of meeting some pilgrims from Serbia. One of them, a student from Belgrade, showed me a book autographed by Justin Popovich, and offered it to me as a gift, but I thankfully declined.

The next day was Friday and we were in the main church for Matins. During the service, after the 6th ode of the Canon and the Magnificat, a relic of St. Silouan was brought out of the sanctuary in solemn procession, carried by a priest in the midst of incense and chanting. We all bowed to the saint and, one by one, offered our veneration. After Matins, some of us went to the chapel of the Holy Girdle of the Theotokos, for the Divine Liturgy. That morning Fr. S. and I went back to Philotheou. On Saturday, after morning services, I helped the monks pick up and sort out apples. Even priest E. was there carrying baskets full of apples, like everybody else. It was a lot of fun to be there, working with the monks. They looked so content!

Sunday night we had the vigil for the Elevation of the Cross. It lasted over nine hours! And I did not notice! That morning, after the Divine Liturgy, I returned to Thessaloniki. While in Thessaloniki, I revisited some of the places I enjoyed during my previous pilgrimages. Tuesday night I took the midnight express train to Athens. Athens is a modern and vibrant city with an excellent Metro (subway) train system. When I beheld the Acropolis for the first time, I could not believe my eyes! The Parthenon, the theater of Dionysius and all the ancient temples one reads about in history books, were really there, in all their awesome wander! I learned that the Parthenon was used as an Orthodox Church for over a thousand years; much longer than it was a pagan temple.

Not too far from the Plaka is the Church of Panagia Kapnikarea. This is a thousand year old church in the center of Athens. The icons of the church were written (painted) by blessed Photios Kontoglou. Then I walked to the Metropolitan Cathedral where I venerated the relics of St. Philothei of Athens. The bones of the saint are visible through the glass that covers the reliquary. The reliquary of Patriarch Gregory V of Constantinople is there also. He was hanged by the Turks and thrown into the sea, but his relics remained incorrupt and floated. They were rescued and enshrined in the cathedral in Athens, where they can be venerated today.

Then, I walked to a nearby little church where a priest received me. He was very kind and warm and gave me directions on how to get to the church of Papa Nicholas Planas. I was not prepared for the sight that awaited me when I got to the Church of St. John the Baptist, where the relics of the holy priest are. The building is immense and very beautiful. The reliquary of St. Nicholas Planas is in the main hall inside, and the relics are visible through the glass. He appears dressed with the stole of a priest. God has given us great gifts of Grace in His priests. My heart was overwhelmed with a sense of thanksgiving and all I could do at that moment was to pray for all the priests that in one way or another have touched my life, during my sojourn as an Orthodox Christian.

I did not have much time left, before my flight to Cephalonia but I had to go to Nea Makri to venerate St. Ephraim the newly revealed. A very nice old lady helped me take the right bus and asked the driver to drop me off at the park in the center of town. When I got to the monastery of the Annunciation, I heard a loud growl coming from a chapel by the main gate. A service of exorcism was being done on behalf of a poor woman possessed by a demon that was speaking through her with a male voice. It broke my heart to see her like this. It was also very frightening.

Next to the main church there is a small building that houses the remains of the tree from which the saint was hanged. Near by, there is also a water fountain that has healing properties. When I entered the main church I walked a few steps down and to the left, where the dwelling of the saint is preserved. The reliquary of St. Ephraim is in the nave, to the right of the church entrance and it is beautiful. It is made of carved wood with a glass cover through which the relics are clearly visible. And I was in tears as I begged the saint to free the demon-possessed woman from her torment. I will never forget the sound of her lament.

That very night, I boarded a plane to the island of Cephalonia. In the city of Argostoli, by the sea; I was able to find a very cozy little room where to spend the night. Next morning, after visiting the town’s church, I took a bus to the town of Omala. And what a nice road trip that was! The island is an earthly paradise, with wide canopy trees and flowers everywhere I looked. When I arrived to the Monastery of St Gerasimos, I was surprised to see a newly built church at the entrance of the monastery, which is dedicated to the saint. I walked inside and spent quite sometime venerating the newly painted icons adorning the murals of the cathedral. There were signs of work in progress all around, and the murals! Oh! I was speechless, what beauty, what holiness! Nothing less than holy Tradition portrait in egg tempera and gold!

St Gerasimos lived in the sixteenth century and was of noble lineage, of the Notaras family. After becoming a monk at the skete of St. Anne in Mt Athos, he traveled to Jerusalem where Patriarch Germanos of Jerusalem ordained him priest. Later he traveled back to his homeland, Greece, where he settled in the island of Cephalonia. There he founded a convent and restored the Church of the Dormition of the Theotokos. There he lived a holy life and reposed in the Lord. The saint is particularly known because of the healing he offers to the demon-possessed.

While remembering his life, I walked passed the oak tree planted by the saint and into the little Church of the Dormition, where St. Gerasimos awaits the day of resurrection. The church is built over the two-room cave where St Gerasimos lived. I descended into the cave and wandered how could anyone live in that damp and desolate place! When I climbed the ladder back to the main nave of the church, I had the opportunity to meet Fr. Panagiotis, who is the priest of the monastery. He asked for my name so he could remember me during the supplicatory service to St Gerasimos. The service was about to begin. Within moments the abbess came and opened the reliquary, so that we could venerate the relics directly. While the priest chanted prayers for all of us, I made a prostration and with great awe and reverence approached the holy one that layed before my eyes. He was intact and very fragrant! As I kissed his epitrachelion (stole), I reached and touched his hand. It was warm and soft! And this is the power of the resurrection! Our Lord Jesus Christ is risen! And the bodies of His saints, though sleeping, already show signs of the life of the age to come!

Orthodox Church of the Annunciation, Milwaukee, OR

Has it really been thirteen years? I was baptized in the morning of Great and Holy Saturday, April 18 1998, in the pond of the Church of the Annunciation (OCA) located in Milwaukee, OR. It was quite a cold day that morning but my heart was aflame with the expectation of things to come.

In 1996 I was living in Tillamook, OR. It was during a rainy day, very late in the fall, when Fr. X, an Episcopalian priest asked me to join him in a conversation he was having with Peter who was an Orthodox Christian. Peter was not very easy to talk to because he was very grounded in his Orthodox Christian faith, and his confidence was evident. I accepted the challenge anyway and the conversation began. I had no idea of what Orthodoxy is. I knew nothing about icons, liturgies, holy tradition, the church fathers etc. So I began to read with earnest. At first, I just wanted to find facts and come up with arguments to respond to Peter's. But sometime during this search, my motivations changed and I began to wonder if what Peter was telling me was the truth.

During one of my Internet searches I found a painting of an old man whose blue eyes pierced through the core of my being and made me weep. And I could not stop weeping. I had no idea of who this man was. I thought that I had reached a breaking point and that this search for the truth was affecting me in a negative way. It did not seem healthy that I should be crying at the mere sight of painting of an old man, So I decided to call Peter and tell him that I would not continue inquiring about Orthodoxy. Peter did not seem worried at all, and asked for the name of the name of the file I was looking at. I checked and it was stherman.jpg. Peter told me; 'David there is nothing wrong with you, do you know about icons?' I answered 'no', and he explained that St Herman was a saint. I asked, Is he alive? Can I meet him? Would he talk to me? I have so many questions. Peter then said; "St Herman lived in the 18th century but he is alive in God, and yes he can hear you. Pray to him!" The next Sunday I drove to Portland, OR to attend my first Divine Liturgy at Holy Trinity Greek Orthodox Church. Bishop Anthony was present for the ordination of a priest.

And the sight of the icons on the wall, the aroma of incense, the lighted candles, the music, prayers and the countenance of the bishop and his priests all reached deep within my soul allowing me to be aware of a part of myself I had never noticed before. I could not understand what I was experiencing at an intellectual or dogmatic level but within me I knew I was in the presence of the Living God. It was painful to realize how far away from Him I had gone. I was been invited to come home, and I was humbled by the all forgiving, merciful loving-kindness of the One who would receive even me, after so many years of sin.