Queen in training

Some days it still hurts. Some nights I still miss him.

I've almost completely forgotten how it feels to be loved by him.

Ae

Well, hello sir 😙

I lost my best friend this year. I'm still in mourning. I'm still in shock. My life is nothing like I expected or wanted.i want my best friend back. I'm tired of being angry. I'm angry with myself. Why do I push people away? normal people don't do that, people do that. But why would I believe that about myself I'm so mad at him. I miss him. I love him. Some times I tell myself I just love the idea of him. I don't think it's real, any of it. There are no long stares of adornment. No secret love notes, no brushing hands as you go by. None of it. I'm angry. And I'm hurt I hate that I fell in love with him. I always told him everything on my mind, all my stupid thoughts, random questions...I was opening up. I don't know what I did but I'm sure it was me that ruined it. I'm good at that. I got angry so I lied & said I didn't love him. I'd give anything to hear him say it to me again. I miss texting & his 7am calls. I miss believing in something that isn't real.