Seeing is Believing

She was one of us. A blogger. Someone going through some shit and using writing and Tumblr as an escape. As someone who is on all of the same (or similar) medication as her, going off of them abruptly is no joke. That is what killed her, unfortunately. But it makes me wonder... Could that ever be me? I try very hard to make sure I always have and are taking my medication, but sometimes I worry I'll slip one day and make poor life decisions that may end my life. According to the statistics, all my diagnoses have quite a high death rate compared to those without. I am resilient and have come back from so much, but I hope I don't choose death one day. Elisa didn't choose death, that we know of, but I am confident that it caused her to make the decisions that she made that ultimately ended her life. I do hope she felt free at the end. Rest in peace Elisa, from one mentally ill Tumblr to another.

A lot more life has happened in between the numbers, but these are most of the highlights. Sorry if I forgot a few. Now, what about the next ten years? I'll be *37* .. Ideally having passed the board-certification exam, be an MT-BC for at least 9 or 10 years, possibly applied to a doctoral program, accepted into a doctoral program, earned a Ph.D.... I wonder what my mental health will look like. I hope I'm still in Jersey or at least in the tri-state area. I hope I've made lots of friends. I hope I don't lose anymore, especially not to death. Death hurts so much. It is the worst possible pain. It is the 10. I know it is an inevitable part of life, but god, I hope it spares me and the ones I love for at least ten more years. Rest in peace Christina. Rest in peace Ashton. Forever 22.

Someone please give me some cool/niche/cute tumblr blogs that i can scroll through. I miss old tumblr.