Final Fantasy, Volkswagens, and Parakeets

I shouldn’t let myself feel left out-

-Because this choice was mine.

But every so often, a glimmer of doubt

Makes me wonder, am I really fine?

“It only hurts if I think about it”.

-My own sadness-inspired quotation.

But sometimes when the distractions quit

It becomes my true damnation.

The truth of it is hard to swallow.

So cloud my thoughts, my mind.

To please this world I chose to follow

A better path, though unkind.

You cannot please everybody

-Believe me though, I’ve tried.

The choice to live a life less bloody-

I made it to the VW museum, in Wolfsburg, Germany!

It was beautiful. I wish I could have had more time to really pick through everything...and I wish those plaques next to each vehicle were also in English! So I could tell what the vehicle specs were, but I was unable to read all the details because I don’t speak/read German unfortuantely!

There were stickers on the cars that said (in English) “Do Not Stroke”. I laughed at first, and then realized afterwards that stroking these cars was exactly what I wanted to do, lol. Each one was just mint...the paint looked so perfect I just wanted to feel it! (But I obeyed the signs)

We went to Germany!

My first time overseas, and Mindy’s first time on an airplane! The trip went great - we had an amazing time. We saw areas of Stuttgart, Ludwigsburg, Remseck, and Wolfsburg! (I wanted to see the VW fatherland)

I’m far behind on some posts!

Final Fantasy Distant Worlds 2017! At the Chicago Symphony Center-

Bruce drove up from Florida early due the hurricanes, and we got to chill all week, then drove down to Chicago to catch this concert! The first time me and Bruce went to one of these was 9 years ago, and we have returned many times since!

I didn’t get the special meet & greet tickets this time (Unfortunately...they sold out super quick..) but we had a great time! We were in the front row.

It’s always a really powerful experience to hear music you love performed by a full symphony orchestra right in front of your face! We loved it, but we agree that we don’t care for the narrator in the Maria & Draco opera, lol.

A darkness from an unseen place,

Filled my head and troubled my face.

The fates that be just can’t decide,

Where to put you - since you died.

A voice appeared that random day,

A voice that death had stole away...

To answer back would humor death,

Who only desires my increased breath.

A test it is, of mental health.

To pull the unraveling strings of wealth-

Not money, power, possessions-greed,

It’s after what you REALLY need.

Be gone, again. My kindness fades.

After years of hurt rolling in cascades,

Your power now has lost all glow-

So I haven’t put many miles on the bus this summer, sadly. Why? Because over this past winter, ol’ B-Smith was leaking some MAJOR oil. It definitely looked like pushrod tube seals (I’m really hoping this solves it) otherwise it’s possible that this engine is coming to the end of it’s life! >.<

I don’t feel like a human being,

Sometimes I’m sure I’m not.

Although I’m sure you’re clearly seeing

All the humans parts I’ve got.

Two arms, two legs, body/head/face,

I suppose it all is there.

But deep inside an unseen place

Lies a different beast in despair.

He cannot stand amongst the others.

He cannot embrace their ways.

He cannot see them as his brothers.

He cannot accept each day.

He sees the pointlessness of life

He sees just obligation

He sees the approaching fatal knife

He sees his expiration.

He’s learned one thing about this race-

This much is sadly true.

Don’t breath a word, or plead your case-

-They’ll all descend upon you.

This race has something built within,

To destroy the thoughts like mine.

To them your crazy, committing sin,

But truly-I’m just fine.

So what’s the solution for this beast,

Who trudges through each day.

Will his suffering end at least

For conforming to their ways?

Silently I will continue-

Protesting every day.

Until my human bones & sinew

I found this video the other day. I remember filming it, although until finding it I had forgotten about it. This was taken 12/30/13. Right after Christmas that year, Jazzy suddenly couldn’t seem to use his left leg. I drove him 2 hours to the vet, which is when I must have taken this video.

Jazzy was always a fan of car rides-he knew it would just be me, him, and a couple hours of tunes. He was always so happy! He would sing the whole way. I felt so bad because he had to stand on ONE leg for the whole 4-hour round trip, but it didn’t even seem to phase him. He knew to hold onto the cage bars if needed, he used to even chirp while holding on with his beak.

He died less than 2 months after this video. (02/27/14) He died in my lap, in my chair, in my living room, in my Hubbell house.