F I N A L

so like how does that work?

they don't just

turn around and

squirt that shit

like a projectile

right? they probably

fart that shit like

lil stink clouds for

predators that chase em

and believe me

this, that, those, them

when?

friends? (nary). solo.

pretending, as to say:

entrenched immensely in pretense

repeating

dead history

living records with many rings

breathing

never dying

expand, contract (looping)

only converge

only con verge

on ly merging with

the main branch

(squash commit) ■

Crawling under lids

Smell the stink of death when

The others get squished

I'm on the brink of blinking red

I'm running dry

It's in my head

It's in the news

It can't be real

I thought times were hard

But they're far from comprehensible

Circle the drain before I flush

Whirl with the tornado's will

This side of grass is much too lu--

This side of grass is much too thirst.

If I had you first, I would cut my shrub

Then feed the weeds

And burn the gloves

There they come now! You see em?

be gods anymore

she said she wants to see Other people. notice how i capitalized the O. she didn't mean 'other people'. not a discrete set of warm bodies with names willing to share a bed during demon hour.

she means anyone who is not me. and i shouldn't feel like a bad performer or incompetent or anything. i'm doing fine, so she says. but sometimes she just wants to know how the other side lives. sorry - the Other side lives.

i told her how they live. they're nasty. what more do you want to hear? they get down and devilish in cars with windows rolled down, letting all the damn stank out. there's one hundred and fifty or more infections to see and she just might catch em all! these people go boing boing and act like they didn't just cross contaminate. and then Oh! Look! the incubation period is complete. now it's time to get your s**t f**ked up. add Covid or some new flu that makes your coughs sound like a pair of broken accordions.

but that's too dramatic, so she says. always seeing the worst scenario. at best she can freely share her body with the world and it'll give her a powerful, brief distraction from the soul-draining reality of being alive.

If you won't sit on it

And ride on it

💋

Until you lose your voice?

I'm doing what I can

To not look like

I'm losing my mind

Ganzofywvdbagqocbavebfjz

To get up and act like

Everything's fine

Perfectly normal

Everything's fine everything's fine

(And you know it isn't)

Wave like a pretty bird at

The slow motion collapse

Happening on our screens

(Wave goddamnit!)

Please please keep up

The performance

Nod in the right ways

Nod like you give a shit

I'm functional!

!I'm functional

The world isn't ...

But who's bothered by it?

Let's go play golf and push buttons

That blow up continents

Be responsible, do your duties

Wear your uniform, be ready

For commands

And demands

And manual labor

Be scared (very!) because

The silence is tracking you with

A concealed dagger

Let's pretend we

Aren't so chronically tired

When you're done, make sure

Your LinkedIn profile is neat and up to date

Or fall behind

You just have to build

a fortress

inside your head.

We're all

dead while living.

We're all

different versions of ourselves

We haven't met yet.

Let me hug you and breathe you in

Before I lose my sense of touch

A lit match that refuses to burn out

And now I feel the heat rising in

The pit of my stomach like a campfire

With no one around it to sing

Songs or tell ghost stories or

Roast any marshmellows.

Just a crackling you'll never hear.

■

I got twelve jumbo size infallible lutes

Play a tune and you drop the loot

Chillin in toon town at the doggy pound

Big shoes

Big issues and no tissues

Put my shirt through the rinse and go

It's a give and go or give it back

And watch me take a step

Let it fly off the map

Frequent flyer

Gone!

Gone!

\°

___○_ ○

____/

\

\

\_______○_

\°/

<- <- <- <- ○ _____/

○ <- <- <- <- _____/

○

○

(○)

((○))

(((○)))

( ○ )

im like the weird kid in

ed edd n eddy

making dumbass contraptions

to catch miniature jawbreakers

cuz my mom got laid off

from the laundromat and now

im laying in a pile of clothes

that smell pretty frowsy

anywhose, like i was saying:

\°

\_○_____

\__○____

\___○___

\____○__

\_____○_

\______○

○

Until you choose to face the harder obstacles

(You write the rest)

so it doesn't bother you

that people just dry wipe

shit off their ass

and then

have

the audacity

to just pull their pants up?

people walkin around

with just

a little bit of shit

on the chute

without a bother?

you sweat right?

and sweat travels right?

so you got

shit. travelling.

right? 🤢

(tragic. diabolical.)

please don't sit on my sofa.

If I don't keep the peace around here

Who will? Cuz you won't.

You boil until bubbles flow over

The sides of the pot leaving

Stains that soon crust over

And form a new layer of skin.

You will. Cuz you can't stop.

To open the pressure valve.

Kids are frustrating by nature.

I wish it weren't the case.

That when I say Stop

He stops.

When I say Go To Your Room

He goes.

When I say No Cake and Cupcakes

He accepts it.

But no.

Sometimes

It doesn't feel like we had children

But rather

Created a fissure in our foundation

Fearing a freefall into the

Earth's molten core.

He has a will and finds a way

Unyielding in the pursuit.

Break boundaries with brute force

To find the exit.

I wish I had the same tenacity

But as I get older

I move slower

More calculated

Gaining more things to lose

And holding my breath too long

Submitting to authority

No one sees

And an orchestra

No one hears.

said one lonely little starfucker.

I'm heated and

don't wanna talk about it.

So instead I'll draw some pictures

and have you intepret them.

I'm not good at drawing so

you'll just have to suffer.

Let's start with a big ol' circle.

It doesn't have any sides at

first glance but if you zoom in far

enough you'll see an awful lot of angles.

Tiny ones, .05° until they all add up

To 360.

There is something to be said about

micro habits but I don't have time

to talk about that shit.

Next I'll draw little arrows denoting

where the pressure lives and

which way it's pressing.

It pushes out until something bursts

and all the nothingness comes

flooding in.

Different kinds of nothing -

one scares you, another

empowers you;

seldom will they downright

incinerate you with all the

heat loss.

I wanna hear about it,

said one diminishing ember.

I opened my eyes to smoke,

just to close them to dust.

when the war is over, please

come home and eat cake with me

it's the same story really

things change but in patterns

so nothing does (if you think

about it)

what a sad sort

faded

drinking ounces of

bottled up emotion

like a lagar laced

with happyfeelgood

sunshine to counter moonshine;

snuff the fire of a past

so depressing that

ditches envy our depth

earthbound envy our deaths

dogs keep wagging their tails

grandpa grins about the olden days

lucky never to have seen

discrimination

exploits

hunger

losslessness

measure your losses

for some have no gains

no one is meant to win

but we were all destined to live