sorry I’m actually still on the port wine. dan and his father in law had such a lovely conversation over cheese, crackers, and wine however long ago that now dan is gifted port wine for his birthday every year. dan and phil have been together long enough that he has annual traditions with his father in law celebrating and commemorating the time they’ve spent together. the catch is dan doesn’t eat cheese and crackers these days because phil doesn’t like cheese so they don’t keep it in the house. he has nothing to pair the wine with because he loves his partner too much. do you see what I’m saying. so now a bottle of port wine sits half drank in their house for most of the year all because his father in law loves him so much and he loves his partner so much. he’s got a silly little problem because he’s stuck between loving and being loved. im going to go lie face first on the concrete and just Wail.

dan howell who ran away from his hometown the second he could and never looked back. dan howell who had a crush on a boy from the internet and moved himself in on the premise of needing to do laundry. dan howell who grappled with his sexuality for years before it broke him. dan howell who was promised his creative dream be fulfilled only for youtube to shaft him at the last minute. dan howell who turned around and wrote You Will Get Through This Night and Doomed because he needed to make art in order to survive. dan howell who took the time he needed to save his own life and come back on his own terms. dan howell, raised christian, realized no god was going to save him so he decided he had to. dan howell who again and again clawed his way into the light. made his own life the way he wanted it to be. fought back. dan howell, staunch disbeliever in red-string theory and fate and heaven because he worked every day of his life to get where he is and absolutely fuck some mythical entity who wants to take credit for that.