ALL YOU CAN EAT

eat apples to charge up your apples meter, then press the [apples] button to execute a deadly apples combo!

leering roommate who's been very clearly trying to set up a "you have to wear a cowkini around the apartment for a week" type pervert wager every time you get drunk together for at this point months but is simply and i mean really truly Absolutely Dogshit at playing poker

explosion at health potion factory 0 dead 0 injured

Imagine if a like 8 foot tall guy that looked kinda like an alien species just kinda showed up at the house you rent a room in and crashed on the couch and at first everyone hated him but you kinda just accepted this weird massive kinda-human alien species thing as a part of your group even though he's like twice the size of everyone else there

Cuz that's literally happening to sea lions in San Francisco right now

Lessons from the 90s that children today need

your lack of ritual consciousness has caused billions of microcurses to accumulate in your energetic biome