chronic critical over thinker, professional hater

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Apparently you can put a block on a phone to stop hackers, because that’s what Daya did. Addie admits she keeps thinking about the nudes but her friend’s concern is her stalker having complete access to Addie's phone.

We get a gross joke about Addie proposing to Daya in appreciation. It’s 2026; are we still making queer relationships the butt of the joke? I’m not shocked, especially from this book.

There’s some meaningless narration about taking down the camera in her room and how she can’t walk naked anymore and how it’d be nice of Arch’s best friends were asking too many questions. It gets five A Whole Lot of Nothing points.

A Whole Lot of Nothing: 44

Addie searches for clues in the pictures around the house but finds nothing.

As Daya’s leaving for the night, Daya wants to know if they’re “going to haunted houses this year” but if it’s Addie’s “entire life” like she claims, wouldn’t Daya already know?

Bad Writing: 97

Addie just loves Halloween and mentions how her mom “sent [her] to therapy specifically for [her] fascination with gory horror movies” and how she’d thought Addie was a “psychopath” when in reality, she just “[gets] off on being scared.” She thinks it hadn’t been as bad as being a psycho and her therapist didn’t agree. Her mom gets even worse, because apparently she used to “[tell] [Addie’s] father that [she] was a freak” and how no one enjoys being frightened. There’s no mention of her father defending her or setting a boundary. Just hate for Sarina, again. Damn, half of this book is just Addie whining about her mother.

Mommy Issues: the Snyder Cut: 74

And she says it’s that fear kink that makes her “susceptible” to enjoy being stalked too much, and she talks about how her “love of horror is going to get [her] killed one day,” getting annoyed when she thinks about her stalker’s nickname.

We get more exposition dumps. We’re told all about Satan’s Affair, a traveling fair that shows up each year that Addie loves, and she says that Daya “already [knows] [she’ll] be the first one in line.” Daya teasingly refers to her as a freak which Addie says that, despite her mother using it towards her, she doesn’t let “slur” bother her anymore.

Freak is a fucking insult, not a slur. A slur is usually a specific derogatory term, usually directed at people of color (especially Black people) or the queer community. Anyone who was different than white supremacy. This pissed me off as much as it did when I actually read the book on my kindle. The fact Carlton decided this word was the one she’d use for her white protagonist being insulted by her mother…? It’s fucking insulting. It’s mind-boggling. It’s blood boiling to me. It’s a fucking insult and verbal abuse, but it’s not a goddamn SLUR.

Anyway.

Mommy Issues: the Snyder Cut: 75

She says the reason she doesn’t mind is because men love calling her it during sex and then asking for more, so it “took on a whole new meaning a long time ago” and she “[tends] to enjoy [it] now.”

I mean, if it’s consensual, I guess…but it reads more like she’s trying to convince us of how cool and totally strong she is, look at the kinky sex she gives these men who wanna fuck her so bad. We don’t see any of the sort outside the two only consensual sex scenes in the book, so I disagree.

Daya leaves with the promise of fair tickets using her hacking gifts to bypass the limited number they pass out (I like characters using their skills for things outside the plot) and the minute the door shuts, Addie gets a text that she opens, mistaking it for her friend.

It’s not.

Because this is literally the electronic-version of “hey, character who just left, what’re you doing back again so soon?”

Zade asks if she’s “ready for her punishment” and she looks out the window to see Daya leaving, taillights disappearing. She demands to know why and realizes she’s “glaring at [her] phone,” almost throwing it. Her phone buzzes again and she has her answer: “You haunt me. It’s only fair I return the sentiment.” Before she can respond, he adds that she’s “so beautiful when [she’s] scared” and she drops the phone in embarrassment. She hopes he didn’t see that and looks out the window, wondering where he is. Another text. “I’m so close, I can smell you.” Oh, that’s such a weird threat and all I can assume is her deodorant didn’t hold up or she’s rather smelly. Like Bella. It gets a Twilite point just because.

Twilite: 35

She’s panics and grabs a knife and settled into the rocking chair, taunting him through her phone, telling him to “quite being a pussy and come out then.” The she regrets it almost immediately and she hears him walk above her, towards her bedroom. He tells her to “come find [him]” and, for horror movie logic reasons, she does.

She stops at the realization she’s a moron, earning a You’re A Moron point, and rationalizes that there’s no way he can leave unseen, since there’s only one entry—down the steps. She reasons if at least another person saw him the cops would have to take her seriously.

You’re A Moron: 114

He slams a door to mess with her and startles her, and she goes silent with fear. She stupidly tells him she’s “calling the police” and calls herself a hypocrite, the manor judging her for such a threat the minute the tables turn; she wonders why she feels so silly for it, then.

Another text comes through, asking if she “[remembers] what [he] said last time” and she’s incredulous, biting her lip and thinks about going to find him. She claims to “already know [she’s] going to make the wrong [choice]” and types back “Here I come, asshole.” Keeping her phone and weapon close, she says she won’t “be an idiot again and drop the knife”; she’s got it “firmly planted in [her] grip.” She’s pretty confident in her ability to “firmly plant” into his face, too and makes her way upstairs.

She gets a “familiar heady feeling [in her gut]” that “churns like alcohol on an empty stomach,” which doesn’t bring arousal to mine but rather about to be sick. Which gets a Bad Writing count. It’d be fitting considering she says that she’s “fucking terrified” as she begins to check the rooms. In particular, she hates the closet because she knows the possibility of him hiding there is higher.

Bad Writing: 98

Devil’s Tango: 36

There’s tears of relief when she finds it empty of the “man that wants to punish [her]” and keeps going, finding the next two empty; all that’s left is “two more rooms” and “a bathroom.” And at the end of the hall is the attic door, which she says she’ll call it quits if he’s up there.

At her bedroom door, she wonders what “[he’s] feeling right now” and muses their roles are “reversed” only she’s outside the door this time. Despite this she’s the frightened one and it’s his casual threats of violence, the way he wants to “hurt [her], punish [her]”, that make her brave enough to open the door.

He’s just stand there on her balcony with the door open, I imagine with a very wide stance, and he’s got a “wicked smile” and a knife.

Gigi’s Letter #11 — March 13th, 1945

We open on a very blatant flaunting of an affair when Ronald takes Gigi on a vacation for the weekend and she lies to John, taking advantage of his trust. She claims to feel “so guilty [but] not enough to [go] home” and how she’s happier than ever with her stalker, “enthralled,” and describing the weekend away as “absolutely magical.”

That’s Still Cheating: 37

She’s a bit sad that she couldn’t have Sera with her and is at least self-aware enough to do that to her daughter would be horrible. I’ll say. It’s one thing to have an affair (which I staunchly don’t support) but it’s another entirely to introduce him to Sera. Regardless, Gigi wishes “Sera had Ronaldo too” and considering you just said John’s “wonderful to [Sera]” this wish makes no sense.

Anyway that’s this chapter. Despite the fact she’s face-to-face with Zade, it still feels like nothing’s happened. Onto the counts.

COUNTS FOR THE CHAPTER

A WHOLE LOT OF NOTHING: 44

BAD WRITING: 98

DEVIL’S TANGO: 36

MOMMY ISSUES: THE SNYDER CUT: 75

THAT’S STILL CHEATING: 37

TWILITE: 35

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Addie’s in the middle of talking to her agent and walking down the hall when she freezes at the sight of movement, but it isn’t Zade she sees but an apparition of a woman vanishing. She hands up and grins to herself, because she’s “only seen an apparition a few times” and describes how she’s heard plenty of “voices, footsteps, doors [slamming], felt freezing drafts” but never seen anything. Even though she couldn’t see who it was, she’s certain it was Gigi. This gets A Whole Lot of Nothing point because all these spooky moments don’t amount to anything.

A Whole Lot of Nothing: 39

She runs into the attic, ignoring the “heavy weight of foreboding [that] presses down,” and she’s all a-quivering with “fear and delight.” Because she loves all things spooky, remember? She goes on about how the air is heavy with negative energy, how “something dark” doesn’t like her and how she could “feel it staring.” She turns on the single lightbulb, which is one of the reasons I’m not crazy about attics since the ones I’ve been in are never well-lit, and she gets herself ready for any creatures that might pop up but finds she’s alone, much to her disappoinment.

She asks Gigi what she wants and, upon not receiving a convenient answer, scoffs about how “of course, [she] [doesn’t] receive an answer” and how it’s “never that simple.” Considering people deal with much, much worse don’t get convenient answers, I have little sympathy for this piss baby temper tantrum.

Act Your Age: 27

There’s a mirror covered in a sheet that she avoids, which she’s sure if she looks at, there’ll be a demon behind her. You were literally all a-flutter at the idea just a second ago, even shivering with delight at the idea. You’re fine with ghosts but draw the line at demons? Make it make sense.

Anyway she starts digging through the boxes that have been shoved up there but a bang interrupts her. No need to worry; it’s simple a wooden board swinging by a nail, revealing some loose papers stashed there.

For some reason, Addie comes to the conclusion that Gigi “wants [her] to stick [her] hand in there” and proceeds to do jus that but not before hemming and whining about it to whatever ghost might be there. Bugs don’t creep her out—alongside of a lot of things—but, she tells us, that “doesn’t mean [she] [enjoys] sticking [her] hand in a bug-infested hole.” She hurries out of the attic and describes how it feels as if “the entire house collapsed on [her,] and [she] just crawled out from beneath it,” which really doesn’t covey what Carlton thinks it does. It certainly just made me confused, since I’m sure it’s supposed to make you relieved.

Bad Writing: 96

She reads the pages and realizes it’s a confession. A murder’s accomplice apologizing. Then she promptly cuts any tension by asking herself a multitude of questions, wondering about the identities of the accomplice and the murderer.

Hand Holding: 38

It takes her entirely too long to realize these are the pages from Gigi’s diary but hey, maybe that’s just because Addie has half a braincell that sometimes works.

She talks about being forced to comply and how an unspecified and vaguely alluded to man is coming for her. She’s writing in the hopes her husband, John, finds it and knows the truth from the victim herself, despite how unlikely it is. The confession abruptly stops mid-word, leaving Addie in disbelief. She starts shrieking and yelling to the air as she throws a tantrum and throws herself onto her bed.

She fumes about how she’s really “mad at [Gigi] now” and how she’s totally “kicking her back out” if the ghost tries to enter.

Jump cut to later that night, where we find our quirky heroine watching her stalker through the window, “bricks [in her stomach] sinking lower” because of course she’s horny.

Devil’s Tango: 35

She debates confronting him and calling the cops then admits it wouldn’t really do any good, considering he’ll be long gone by the time they show up. And she laments about what good it’ll do if her reports keep disappearing but admits maybe the sheriff simply knowing is reason enough to call. She pretends to phone the police and says she just “[wants] to see what he’ll do.” Because antagonizing your stalker who kidnapped a whole ass man from your yardmakes perfect sense.

She knows she’s “playing with fire” but she just “can’t stop [herself],” admitting it’s as “addicting as it is stupid.” She can’t just leave it at that, though, and goes on to say how she “can’t see his face [but she knows he’s smiling]” and how that “doesn’t give [her] the reaction it should.” Instead of feeling repulsed or scared, she’s fighting the “urge to smile back.”

You’re A Moron: 111

Sin Thy Ass Off: 53

Hand Holding: 48 (One for each stupid line.)

She gets a text message but doesn’t remark how he might seem distracted because she’s still staring at him, I assume. It reads as follows, dripping condescension and misogyny: Am I supposed to believe you’re on the phone with the police? I think my little mouse is a liar.

Also I’m going to come out and say I hate the epidemic of “little [insert random animal/word]” nickname; it’s never cute, romantic, and usually the FMC despises it (yet, somehow, during the climax, he says her real name and she freaks.) It’s dehumanizing and frustrating, showing exactly what their so-called love interests think of them.

Smells Like Misogyny: 47

Instead of being frightened, Addie goes with option number two and grows angry, asking him if he’d like to find out. Zade replies far too casually, saying that “yes, [he] does, actually” and tells her he’d “love to punish [her] later for it, too.” That takes the winds of her sales and she describes his last punishment as “gruesome and sickening.” She snipes at him, wondering if he’ll “send toes next.”

You’re A Moron: 112

Unintentionally Hilarious: 32

Zade’s response is fucking funny. “Depends, are you still pretending to fuck other guys? Or would you rather yell at the ghosts in your house again?”

Unintentionally Hilarious: 33

She stares at him, noting the “phone [in his hand],” and says that the dim lighting gives just enough illumination to see his “wickedly sharp jawline” and his “smirking lips.” Then she flips him off and thinks, fuck you, asshole. Yes. Very smart.

You’re A Moron: 113

Do I Dazzle You: 37

He says that he “[plans] to” and she “[growls] at his audacity” and replies immediately, claiming if he “[comes] near [her,] [she’ll] stab [him]” and threatens to call the cops. He taunts her to do it and calls her little mouse again.

Smells Like Misogyny: 48

Addie can’t tell if he’s “telling [her] to stab him or call [the cops]” but that she’s more than willing—happy, even—to do both. She hates his nickname, saying it means “he’s hunting [her]” and that’s the last thing she wants. She hesitates to call the cops and tells us that she’s “scared to find out what he’s going to do if [she does]” and that she “wants to.”

You know, this book could’ve been a good dark romance if this was a scene with clear boundaries, consent, and safe words. But alas this is rape apologia.

But she finally calls 911 and talks to the operator, describing the situation, and for some stupid reason doesn’t stay on the phone like the operator tells her to. Her comments earlier—you know, about how by the time the cops showed up he’d be gone—make her come across as incredibly stupid. Because in the time it takes the cops to arrive, he could’ve murdered her brutally. He could kidnap her and drag off to God knows where.

Even though she can’t see his eyes, she says she “[meets] his gaze anyway” and doesn’t look away even after he sends a text message to her. He walks into the darkness, which she says “reaches out and grabs ahold of him, swallowing him into its depths until he’s vanished completely.”

She’s annoyed when the cop shows up, whining about she “[wants] him to leave” and how she can’t explain the regret she feels over calling them.

The cop is “overweight” with “a ruddy face” and looks as if he’d rather be anywhere else.

The Bad & Not Beautiful: 4

He asks her what’s going on and she gives him the run-down. When he registers her name, he asks about Arch and I’m surprised he’s even mentioned; I was convinced Addie had forgotten all about him at this point. The officer asks some more basic questions and she keeps the messages to herself, describing them as feeling “private” and admitting it’s “fucking stupid,” but she still can’t bring herself to mention them.

After he leaves, she’s just taken a shower and settled back into bed when she reads Zade’s text. And it’s chilling. “The more you disobey,” it says, “the harder your punishment.”

Pet Monster: 23

Smells Like Misogyny: 49

Jump cut and Daya’s declaring she’s “going to find the little dick prick” as she violently keyboard smashes her laptop like a cat. Addie doesn’t reply, too busy chugging her drink, and when she finally says something, it’s simply to say ‘dick’ and ‘prick’ are synonyms.

Daya rolls her eyes and resumes her computer work. Addie can’t “imagine what she could possibly be hacking into” and says it better not be her phone, since she has nudes on it. Then she starts freaking the fuck out about it, mass deleting the pictures, and she whines how she’s “going to obsessing over this for the rest of [her] life now.”

Considering this man kidnapped someone off her property and is currently stalking her, breaking into her home at his leisure, I think there’s bigger things to be concerned about than if he’s seen your nudes.

Daya notices the weirdness and asks if she’s okay. Addie wants to know the likelihood of of Zade hacking her and seeing her nudes. They go back and forth until Addie asks if Daya could trace an unknown number, and when she point blank asks if he texted Addie from one, Addie feels “shame [creep] in.” We get a diatribe about how she knows she should’ve mentioned it sooner but she felt oddly protective over them and only now has she realized it’s stupid when Daya’s a talented hacker.

Daya’s more than a little miffed and Addie says that she “[knows] [she’s] a stupid bitch” and asks if she can trace them. And when they try, guess what happens? I couldn’t fathom it! It’s untraceable. No fucking shit.

Addie’s anxiety comes back full force, and she recaps everything in despair, finishing that he probably got into her phone and stole her nudes. Daya admits it’s a very real possibility.

Our freckled manipulator face plants into her laptop and complains that a “creepy ass dude potentially has [her] nudes” and, worse yet, he “probably has video footage of [her] naked.” She supposes it’s not the worst thing, since she thinks her body’s “fabulous,” but she’ll be “mortified if [her nudes] get leaked.”

She worries about blackmail and hopes he’s “too obsessed with [her] to leak them” and how he’s already “proven to be highly possessive.” She picks up Daya’s drink—vodka and pineapple juice—and starts chugging. As someone who’s chugged alcoholic drinks, that’s a sure fire way to fuck yourself up but go right ahead, you little alcoholics. And Daya just enables this behavior; she doesn’t say anything and “slides over the entire bottle of vodka.”

Daya tries to comfort her then promptly turns into my least favorite character again, demanding to know who Addie sent nudes; Addie admits she “[hasn’t] sent a nude since [she] was twenty” and that she “[takes] nudes because [she] [likes] [her] body and want to stare at it all day.”

Do I Dazzle You: 38

Daya’s phone goes off and she reluctantly admits that it’s Luke, Arch’s friends, who’s been “bugging her about [Addie] and what happened that night with Arch.” No only that but Max’s been rampaging since his best friend and his family were murdered; she says that she “told Luke [Addie has] nothing to do with it.”

They both realize Zade’s made her some very “dangerous enemies” with his antics.

Gigi’s Letter # 10 — January 14th, 1945

We open with Gigi complaining about how the weather’s “[put] her in a mood that rivals the ice clinging to [the] windows.” She pouts about even Frank noticing, though he’d “tried to cheer [her] up with a bad joke”; she’d “laughed at one ore two but [couldn’t] muster more than that.”

Apparently she and her extramarital boyfriend had an argument; he’s mad she’s “still with John.” What right does Ronaldo have for his jealousy? Gigi, of course, doesn’t blame him at all, because she’s also incredibly unhealthily jealous too, seething at the thought of him with another woman. I don’t think you’re allowed to be jealous when you’re having an extramarital affair but what do I know?

That’s Still Cheating: 26

But, for as much love (or just plain lust) as there is between them, he’s “still a mystery” and refuses to “involve [her] in his dangerous lifestyle.”

She wonders how she could give up stability for her daughter in order to be with a man whose life, as she describes, “is still mysterious and dangerous?”

She’s “at a loss.”

So am I because this book is desperately trying to make me side with the cheating couple.

Onto the counts.

COUNTS FOR THE CHAPTER

ACT YOUR AGE: 27

A WHOLE LOT OF NOTHING: 39

BAD WRITING: 96

DEVIL’S TANGO: 35

DO I DAZZLE YOU: 38

HAND HOLDING: 48

PET MONSTER: 23

SMELLS LIKE MISOGYNY: 48

THE BAD & NOT BEAUTIFUL: 4

THAT’S STILL CHEATING: 26

UNINTENTIONALLY HILARIOUS: 33

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In the middle of his brooding on the couch, since we’re given no other information on what Zade’s doing on the couch and I’m not feeling particularly kind, he receives information from Jay about a new video. He moves to his office, which is crammed full of computers with a “ten-foot-long desk,” which sounds incredibly impractical to me but hey what do I know, and multitudes of things like “jammers, trackers, and [detonator] buttons.” With all his gadgets, he says everything—the room itself—is “worth millions.”

It Twilite gets a point for excessive money. Also another Sues Run the World point because of course he’s filthy rich and has all the time in the world to be a vigilante.

Twilite: 34

Sues Run the World: 53

Then he proceeds to jerk himself off essentially, claiming it’s “both [his] happy place and [his] living nightmare.” He acts rather high and mighty, espousing about how he “[makes] a difference” and the way he plans to basically singlehandedly take down sex trafficking. He gets paid “an ungodly amount” to hack into whatever company asks, which allows him to focus on the real monster: human trafficking.

Sues Run the World: 54

Edge Lord of Darkness: 43

Jay sends the video in an email and Zade says that he’s “gearing up for something that’s going to make the steak [he] just ate settle in [his] stomach like a wrecked ship in the ocean.” Ships usually wreck in the ocean so the specification feels repetitive. That gets a Bad Writing point.

Bad Writing: 95

The video plays, revealing a grainy “fucked up satanic ritual” that’s secretly being recorded, where a child has been tied to a stone slab. Of course, he’s “screaming to him go,” and his “little voice [breaks]” with every cry. They kill him and drink his blood, and Zade “[forces] [himself] to watch and endure the pain alongside [the] boy.”

Edge Lord of Darkness: 44

How does that help the boy, who’s already gone? It feels like fodder for Zade’s whole dark night of the soul nonsense. I know the point is to show how much Zade supposedly empathizes with the victims but it just gets tiring and exhausting to hear about. Chapter after chapter after chapter of violence and depravity for the sake of it. This book is full of disturbing, upsetting scenes like this, written in graphic, grotesque detail, and it infuriates me. I’m a big proponent of “less is more.” The Black Phone, in my opinion, was perfect with how they portrayed the Grabber (I think that’s what they called him) as a sexual predator with a single scene: he’s seated in a kitchen chair that he’s dragged in front of the basement door. His shirt is unbuttoned and a belt lies in his fist while he waits patiently. We aren’t forced to sit through the fifteen-minute assault or rape scene of a young boy, unlike this amalgamation of words on a page masquerading as a book.

Also satanists don’t do this—like, at all—so this feels like Satanic Panic all over again.

But even though the video’s over, Zade still has to breathe through his queasiness. Jay says he couldn’t watch it and that launches Zade into another spiel about how he “[refuses] to turn away from them.” He goes to claim it’s what “most people do when it comes to human trafficking” and how everyone knows it exists, might even educate themselves, but they can’t take the visceral reality of it. Not like him!

Edge Lord of Darkness: 50

The video reminds him of one he’d seen before, only with a girl, and the killers didn’t have hoods up, revealing four senators. And we’re treated to two whole pages of him talking about how dark and depressing and evil the world is. He “locked [himself] in a room and didn’t come out for twenty-six hours after [the first video.]” He couldn’t live his life knowing harm was being done to children. As if children weren’t being abused and mistreated before the dark web? Also not him talking about all this harm coming to children and making it about him and his anger and pain about it. Sounds about right.

Regardless, he fell into a rabbit hole on the dark web and found countless videos—“parents raping their own children, [torture, cannibalism, and even necrophilia]”—with a red room. He explains it’s where buyers can choose the manner of harm and he adds, “those are just the ones involving children.” It was specifically the ones with vids that made him create Z and his skills for computer science only grew in leaps and bounds, bypassing government hackers, even.

He claims that “stumbling on those videos” was an accident but you can’t access the dark web via like, google or anything. It takes a very specific set of steps—and a specific web browser, if I’m correct—to get on the side of the internet. You have to actively look for these links, and that’s what I can only assume Zade was doing. For what purpose? Not sure. I think it would’ve made more sense for him to maybe tail some traffickers and find out about the videos and stuff that way. Because the side of the internet he’s talking about isn’t something you happen to stumble across.

Which begs the question—was Zade sent the video or did he seek it out?

Edge Lord of Darkness: 68 (One for each line.)

Anyway, our sleepless hero decided to take down all sex trafficking. Him, a single man. He boasts that he’s “killed hundreds of people” and how he’s zeroing in on the politicians, noting their schedules. But the one thing he can’t seem to figure out? The locations of these horrific rituals.

While he’s asking Jay if they got any traces, he “[rolls] his neck again” and daydreams about his “little mouse’s hands working out the near permanent knots in [his] neck and shoulders.” In the midst of trying to track down violent cannibal pedophiles, he takes the time to fantasize about Addie, the woman he stalks and rapes.

When Jay’s like “yeah, no, didn’t get anything,” Zade ends the call and complains how he needs a drink. And wouldn’t you know who has his favorite whiskey? Addie, of course!

Time skip and he’s sitting in her house, whining about the cold that he’s feeling. He describes it as a “dense fog” that permeates around him and tells us he’s had a few inexplicable things occur but we aren’t treated to anyof it, of course, because Carlton can’t wait to get back to her favorite action figures and making them kiss. But because he’s such a Bad Ass Masculine Alpha Man, he growls at the fog to back off and it obeys, leaving him alone to brood over alcohol.

He describes how it’d been his people that installed her pesky security system and how he’s “more than capable of disarming them with a click of [his] phone.” Because of course he is.

Insufferable Bastards: 21

Sues Run the World: 55

He boasts about picking her locks and how he’d “never leave her vulnerable.” He lies straight to our face about how he “tried so hard to forget her” and how he “tried to run” but the Sue was too strong, so of course his “obsession only grew.”

From my viewpoint, he did literally nothing to curb himself. Or, as he puts it, “the more [he] struggled…the more [the beast inside of him] raged.” He delved into her life and describes her, lovingly, as an “inoperable brain tumor.” How romantic! Be still my beating heart!

Edge Lord of Darkness: 69

He continues to drink whiskey and brood, thinking about children being abused and murdered. This makes sense considering he’s been watching the video Jay sent on loop, “torturing [himself]” with it, describing it as a small price to pay. He’s tried to track down the source to no avail.

Zade keeps rolling a rose between his fingers, letting himself be sliced. Is this—would this be considered self-harm? I feel like this counts. More dramatic monologuing, where the pain of witnessing the torture apparently makes him “want to slice open [his] own skin.”

Edge Lord of Darkness: 74

But he’s so badass because he’s self-aware that it wouldn’t do anything. The video starts playing again and he goes on ad nauseam about the lack of clues. Except the cave in Seattle—which is where the first video pinged. That single mistake sent him to Washington to investigate.

A “black cloud” surrounds him, or that’s how he describes it, as he crushes the rose, noticing how his hand “trembles from the pain and the force.” I’m going to assume the cloud is his bad mood/hopelessness. How badass of him! And it’s only by the skin of his teeth that he doesn’t let the “sorrowful wail” out.

But he doesn’t let the darkness consume him because who would save the children otherwise?

Mercifully, the chapter closes.

COUNTS FOR THE CHAPTER

BAD WRITING: 95

EDGE LORD OF DARKNESS: 74

INSUFFERABLE BASTARDS: 21

SUES RUN THE WORLD: 55

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While sitting in the rocking chair, Addie thinks about Gigi and calls her crazy, doing some wild victim blaming by claiming she allowed “[Ronaldo to] feast his eyes on her” and how she “got off on it too, apparently.”

Ma’am, you literally got horny at the idea of dropping to your death off a cliff; seems to me you have little room to judge.

Smells Like Misogyny: 46

Addie continues to blame her great-grandmother, saying she let the stalker do all those things and how it’s “certifiably insane.” I do believe pot knows kettle. There’s some wind from a storm rolling in and she grosses herself out when she compares it to bad acne. And then she hears a thump and catches movement just outside the window—someone’s walked out of the woods.

Act Your Age: 26

You’re A Moron: 104

Her eyes “narrow into thin slits” as she recognizes the man as her stalker and she’s pissed, not because he’s invading her space and making her feel unsafe, not because he’s a stalker, but he had the audacity to come back after two nights of leaving her alone. She snatches up the knife she’s kept on her because Daya saw Zade had “hacked into [the cameras] and spliced [the feed]” and the only reason Daya can recognize it is because of her job.

Bad Writing: 91

Hand Holding: 37

She isn’t sure what her goal is—provoke or taunt—and reminds herself she’s well within her rights to protect herself. And then, while he knows she’s watching, he lights a cigarette as they stare at each other. I half expect to see a tumble weed roll around in the background with dramatic harmonicas. She boasts how he never said she “couldn’t call [the cops] when he’s standing twenty feet outside [her] window” but stops mid-process because he shakes his head at her.

Yes, Addie, in full view of this very dangerous man, call 9-1-1. That’s bound to go down well.

You’re A Moron: 105

But the next few paragraphs read like a tension-filled scene straight from a horror movie with her calculating distance and how the “locked [front door]” is futile. She guesses the thirty second window she’d have to call nine one one would be pointless since she’d be kidnapped or dead long before they show up and any tension’s broken because she gets angry when she entertains the possibility that Zade’s “challenging” her by stepping closer while smoking.

Insufferable Bastards: 20

She charges outside but not before saying she “almost [develops] a brain and [runs] back inside” and starts yelling at him, pushing at the “defined muscles” of his chest and ignoring it because, in her own words, only weirdos would focus on that. The “behemoth” barely moves and she starts huffing and puffing while he stares down at her and she says that she’ll “smolder until there’s nothing left but ashes.”

Bad Writing: 92

You’re A Moron: 106

Sin Thy Ass Off: 51

She demands to know what he wants, “vibrating from anger and fear,” and adds that there’s “something so disturbing, [she] [refuses] to put a name to.”

Devil’s Tango: 33

He doesn’t reply but she says that him simply licking his lips is “primal, animalistic, and fucking terrifying.” I’d say he might just need some Aquaphor but hey, that’s just me. Then he turns and just…walks away, leaving her questioning her sanity, wondering if she hallucinated everything. Surely, she tells us, she “wouldn’t be so stupid to confront [the] psychopath that cut off a man’s hands and left them on [her] doorstep” despite doing that exact thing.

You’re A Moron: 107

Sin Thy Ass Off: 52

She compares him to Jeffrey Dahmer—who notoriously went after POC queer men, not straight cis white women—before she darts back inside, feeling as if “Lucifer’s hounds are nipping at [her] asscheeks” and notices when she locks the door that she left the knife inside.

Bad Writing: 93

After some time—I can’t tell if it’s the next day or not—Addie says that she’s “treating [herself] to a nice murder investigation” because she’s so quirky. She’s going over the emails Daya sent over, which are mainly notes chalk full of mishandling of evidence, and we’re treated to background that we already know. Her great-grandfather said Gigi had been “distant, paranoid, short-tempered with Nana” in the months before her murder, even showing up late to pick up Nana with no explanation. With the breakdown of their relationship, Addie’s great-grandfather begged Gigi for information, which he was denied.

A Whole Lot of Nothing: 58

We, the reader, already know what was going on, so three whole paragraphs of rehashing information just bogs down the story, padding the word count and making this book far longer than it needs to be. A good editor would’ve cut this book in half, maybe even quarter it.

While lamenting about how the journal hadn’t been found during the investigation and how there weren’t any clues in the pages, she catches sight of—you guessed it! Zade. Standing, apparently, in the exact same spot, and we’re told how it’s been three days since their last contact.

She’s freaked out but the “low heat sparks in the pit of [her] stomach” tries to act like arousal makes any of this acceptable. Despite arguing with herself about closing the blinds or calling authorities or, as she says, “do anything that would classify [her] as intelligent and having common sense,” the reason she’s frozen is apparently “unknown.” I feel like people often forget the three responses: fight, flight, or freeze. No hate to Addie, of course, but she herself just called herself stupid.

You’re A Moron: 108

Devil’s Tango: 34

After claiming that the ghosts in her manor aren’t as dangerous as Zade (like, no shit, one is a ghost and one is a man), she hears “light footsteps” above and tracks their trajectory and Zade mimics a weeping angel from Doctor Who because he’s gotten closer while she was distracted. She wonders what he’s thinking about then proceeds to rage bait him, despite being frightened of how he “killed a man for touching [her]” and worrying what he’d do to her (or what he’d do if a man had sex with her.)

Edge Lord of Darkness: 42

Pet Monster: 22

You’re A Moron: 109

Of course, he’s such a Bad Ass he doesn’t even react to her pretending to have a guest and simply pulls out his phone, bored as hell. I know I’m supposed to feel frightened or whatever but him being so unfazed at Addie’s shit is fucking hilarious. He even lights another cigarette—no clue where the first one went, either, so I’ll just assume he finished it while she was momentarily distracted—and Addie thinks he’s “gross” because he’s a chain smoker. Not, apparently, because he’s a murderous insufferable rapist stalker. She can excuse that but draws the line at smoking.

Unintentionally Hilarious: 30

He lingers for fifteen minutes before he just…dips the fuck out. No threats, no violence, just silent watching and then leaving. She describes the little stare down as a “game” and states she hates losing.

I…don’t think I want what’s supposed to be a tense moment undermined by referring to it as a game and calling yourself a sore loser.

Unintentionally Hilarious: 31

At a book signing the next day maybe—it isn’t made very clear—Addie’s “thanking Jesus” because she didn’t have to travel far for it since it’s in Seattle, which where all these sorts of novels seem to be set in. Daya’s reassuring her, reminding her that she’s “done a million of [the signings]” as she frets how sweaty she looks in the mirror. And in her grumblings, we get this particularly painful piece of dialogue, where we find out Addie’s “manipulator” title is something she gave to herself:

“What do you call yourself?” Daya asks, quirking a brow at me.

I sigh. “A master manipulator.”

“Why?”

I roll my eyes. “Because I manipulate people’s emotions with my words when they read my books,” I grouse.

“Exactly. So that’s all you do, except your mouth says the words instead of your fingers. Fake it till you make it, baby.”

You—you can’t give yourself a nickname. That’s now how this works. But there’s a lot of boring back and forth, where Addie’s just so socially awkward and Daya’s advice is summed up as above, and it ends with a pot shot at Addie’s mom for no reason, saying she’d “rather roll around in [her] dread and anxiety and wax on about it,” which makes her more like her mother than she thought. She tells us she’ll never admit that out loud though.

Mommy Issues: the Snyder Cut: 69

The next section we hear all about how the signing was a “blast” and how every time, Addie works herself up but has such a great time, even going so far as describing these events as bringing her peace. She’s “a tad tipsy” so Daya’s designated driver and they’re having a grand ole time until they reach the manor, where a “lone light” greets them.

Addie starts to get out but Daya stops her, suggesting that “he could still be in there” and Addie—in true BellaAnaFeyreTessaViolet fashion—charges in angrily.

You’re A Moron: 110

She starts flicking on the lights, yelling and making a ruckus, and it’s only after she’s grabbed a knife and spots Daya’s face and how “alarmed” she is. That’s when Addie turns and sees it: dozens and dozens of red roses all over her living room. It makes her “mouth pop open” and any capacity to speak “[evaporates.]” And then she spots the empty whiskey glass with a smudge and the rose right next to it.

Apparently her “widened gaze clashes with Daya’s” as they both freeze in absolute shock. Then Addie says she’s going to check the rest of the house, because she possesses not a single iota of self-preservation and is, indeed, that character in a horror movie that makes you scream at the screen.

Bad Writing: 94

When Daya argues against that, Addie admits she “can’t be stupid about [endangering Daya]” and that she “[wants] to look for him, confront him, and stab him in the eye a few times.” She’s expressing how she’s genuinely angry enough to kill him and I’m supposed to not hate him how? He’s stomping all over her privacy and boundaries, and I’m supposed to find it sexy and titillating when, in reality, it’s horrifying and violating.

She thinks of him “[touching] [her] underwear, maybe even [stealing] some” and then notices Daya’s called the cops. She laments about how she knows “it won’t be that easy” to catch him, despite the way she’s “hoping he’s a criminal and in the system.” We all know that hope’s null and void.

A time skip later and Daya’s trying to convince Addie to spend the night at hers after the police came and bagged whatever evidence. Instead of letting Daya drive—since she’s so exhausted she says she might’ve “lost focus and [driven] without direction”—she tails Daya all the way back to her “nice, quiet neighborhood” and her “quaint house.”

While in the house, Addie notes it “would be fairly empty if it [wasn’t] for the furniture and the thousands of computers everywhere” and how Daya “takes her work seriously.” As if she…wouldn’t? For some reason?

It feels a little weird to point out how a Black woman takes her job seriously. It feels uncomfortable for me, so it gets a point.

Don’t Be Racist: 19

Daya apparently, despite not sharing much, “deals with the dark web and human trafficking” and her boss is “strict with keeping the details confidential.” Despite this, Addie says that there have been times when Daya’s “looked more haunted than Parsons Manor.” When asked about it, she said she was “saving innocent lives” and that was all Addie needed to hear. They each retire for the night, and Addie’s in the guest room, which she complains is “pretty bare.” She whines about the walls and the curtains—or, more specifically, the silhouette of a man that’s staring back at her.

Before she can react, she receives a text message that, honestly, feels more like an UNSUB in criminal minds taunting their victim or the BAU: you didn’t like my flowers?

And then, mercifully, the chapter closes and we’re treated to yet another tepid attempt to condone cheating from Gigi.

Gigi’s Letter # 9 — November 19th, 1944

Despite how “embarrassed to even admit it” she is, she proudly proclaims she “can’t get enough of [Ronaldo.]” You know, the man she’s having an extramarital affair on her husband with, a criminal.

That’s Still Cheating: 20

Even though she still has half a mind to feel mildly “ashamed” as she claims, she boasts how she’s “can’t wait” to be see Ronaldo again and how, despite the attitude change, her husband’s clueless.

Weren’t…the previous letters her wailing and whining about how he’s noticed her behavior shift and how he’s begged her for answers to which she refused and how it lead to more and more fights?

Anyway, she really cements how much I’m going to hate her because she flat out admits it’s “terrible, but [she] [doesn’t] regret this love affair.”

Never mind the fact she’s breaking her family apart. Never mind her husband—before his character was tanked to make Ronaldo appear more viable in the viewers’ eyes—doesn’t seem all that horrible. Never mind Ronaldo is a literal criminal violating her safety, privacy, and life in general.

That’s Still Cheating: 21

She waxes about how he makes her feel beautiful and how he treats her like a person, unlike John, of course. And you can hear the desire in her voice when she describes the way he treats her sexually—not “like fine china, but a woman who loves to be properly ravished.” I’d be more on board if she wasn’t a cheater and he wasn’t a violent stalker, but I digress.

That’s Still Cheating: 22

As if she cares what John thinks, she claims she tries hard not to think of Ronaldo for fear she might smile and it’s been oh so long since she’s had a reason to, so obviously he’ll “grow even more suspicious.”

And with the tacky red lipstick kiss, chapter eleven comes to a close and I breathe a sigh of relief once again.

COUNTS FOR THE CHAPTER

ACT YOUR AGE: 26

A WHOLE LOT OF NOTHING: 58

BAD WRITING: 94

DEVIL’S TANGO: 34

DON’T BE RACIST: 19

EDGE LORD OF DARKNESS: 42

HAND HOLDING: 37

INSUFFERABLE BASTARDS: 20

MOMMY ISSUES: THE SNYDER CUT: 69

PET MONSTER: 22

UNINTENTIONALLY HILARIOUS: 31

SIN THY ASS OFF: 52

SMELLS LIKE MISOGYNY: 46

THAT’S STILL CHEATING: 22

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The next day, Addie’s interrogating Daya about Arch's disappearance, where her phone apparently grows “slick from the persistent anxiety” and I'm about ninety-nine percent certain this is supposed describe a sweaty palm or damp phone.

Bad Writing: 90

Daya’s been apparently looking into things. No one’s been able to locate Arch, but that’s kind of a given considering there it's only been twenty-four hours. And we all know because Zade's "badassery," there won't be any leads.

Addie knows who it was and refers to him as “[her] shadow” but without an identity, there’s no way to find Arch. She starts to cry as if someone held her at gunpoint and forced her to ignore Zade's threats and taunt him, and, of course, Daya’s quick to placate her. Because Addie's just a poor baby.

Daya claims it's a good thing Arch was kidnapped, actually, since he “[would’ve] really hurt [Addie],” evidenced by the “unspeakable [things]” he did to his ex-wife. And she trails off dramatically, and Addie knows she’s thinking about Luke, Arch’s buddy, that she went home with then ghosted.

Raging Hypocrisy: 45

Despite acknowledging how Daya's right, she's not too keen on the thought of Arch going down because of her, not karma. Daya agrees with her sentiments, and Addie claims the “best-case scenario” would’ve been a one night stand full of hot, steamy sex. Daya attempts to interject some reality by saying “that’s not what would’ve happened” because Arch is “violent.”

But Zade’s sexy and it’s different when he does it?

Raging Hypocrisy: 46

Addie, possessing a single brain cell, adds so is her stalker, which segues into Daya being an outright horrible friend. She bitches about how much it'd suck for her if Addie passed—not because she's miss her best friend and grieve her or because it could've been prevented or anything of that nature but because she's thinks she's hot and “quite attached to [her] body.” Because when your friend dies, you inevitably have to die, too…for some bizarre reason?

Insufferable Bastards: 19

Addie makes Daya promise to bill her for the security system, which'll give her a “[fragile] semblance of safety,” as she describes it. Considering how the police can't catch him and he's largely a ghost, I don't blame her for feeling that way.

A scene jump plunges us into Addie recieving some male from her regular mailperson. She describes him as a fairly nice man but no one who "sticks around long." He doesn't really like her house because “something evil happened” and since Arch vanished, she’s inclined to agree.

And to add a nice dollop of even more racism, his name is Predo (no hate to people named Pedro; I just have no grace for white authors who write such nonsense) and he has to haul all of the eight boxes from his truck.

Don’t Be Racist: 18 (One for him being obviously uncomfortable with the history of the house, another for the stupid idea that he doesn’t have at least a dolly for all these heavy books, and another for him not having a single line.)

It's after he leaves she discovers a package that's too small to be book mail and she's immediately on edge. And when she notices the smear of blood, she starts to freak out but opens it anyway—and then freaks out even more because in the box? Severed hands.

I won't make fun of her for this because God only knows how I'd react in such a situation. My husband and I recently watched a movie on Netflix, titled "War Machine." We didn't really read the description and I was fine with the movie at first since he thought he knew the plot—something about dinosaurs and war. It's about an active duty military member (the guy who plays Reacher and Thad Castle) who lost his brother in a bombing who signs up for the rangers, his brother's last wish for them. But the final test goes horribly wrong when they accidentally wake up a murderous alien life form and it becomes a test of survival, a race against the clock. That all being said, I had to hold his hand through some parts, the visceral gore and the brutality of the realism with wounds proving to be too much since I was inebriated but definitely mesmerized, wanting to see what happened next.

While Addie waits for Daya to show, she starts complaining to herself about how he'd "actually [done] it" and how she knew he wasn't just bluffing.

I'm incredibly unsure of how she comes to this conclusion, considering most of Zade's texts are misogynistic threats. What makes her believe him? Has he shown an escalation in emotion via spam texts? Have you personally witnessed him keeping his word? Being a stalker alone makes him untrustworthy, so I really don’t understand her saying this.

Daya shows up and starts ranting about how how "fucking deranged" Zade and Arch are, especially Arch due his tattoo. I'm not connecting a star thumb tattoo to evil bastard. If anyone knows, feel free to leave it in the comments.

As if hands weren't enough, there's a note: While I enjoy punishing you every time you call the police, let's hold off this time. Wouldn't want to have to hurt them next, little mouse.

And Addie's incensed, calling him an asshole for the whole hand boquet. Daya, uncharacteristically not sassy, suggests she listens because she and Addie have to a clear conclusion about him and they're in agreement.

If he's so dangerous, me thinks throwing hissy fits at him isn't a good idea. Like wanting to stick it to The Man and show him how feminist and sexually powerful you are—rawr, girl—by ignoring his threats and purposefully getting freaky in clear view.

You’re A Moron: 86

Addie starts crying and Daya comforts her, despite this all began because she wanted to stick it to The Man. The idea of a bodyguard is floated but ultimately shot down because of course, Zade'll kill him. Plus it makes her "feel like a damsel" so that's even worse, guyz!!!

Daya's expression says it all: Addie's stupid.

Me too, girl. Me too. Because you're being needlessly stubborn to not feel a little helpless. You're turning down genuine help while your stalker has shown he can break into your house whenever he feels and has literally kidnapped a man. You're worried about bruised ego in the face of genuine danger.

You’re A Moron: 87

She's angry because she doesn't want an “extra attachment,” and takes a few stupid stabs in the dark at Zade's goal—hurt her or love her. What the actual fuck do you mean love is a reason for being stalked? It’s never love. Ever. It’s possession, entitlement, delusion.

But I blame SMeyer for perpetuating it on such a global scale where even years later, people sigh dreamily whenever the latest abusive relationship in media becomes popular.

Twilite: 32

After some debate on Arch's survival rate, Addie finally agrees and Daya goes to dispose of the hands, shrugging it off since she's seen worse at work. Addie wonders just what the hell kind of job Daya has for that blasé attitude.

We have news after the scene jump, but it isn't quite what we expect: the Talaverra family has been wiped out, like "a bomb." The book mentions Law Abiding Citizen, which is arguably and objectively a far better piece of media.

They wonder if it's the stalker. I think if someone's willing to send you severed hands, killing shouldn't be that huge a leap. But that could very much be just me.

Because Arch was evil, it shouldn't matter, she tells herself and thinks about how Zade did this not because Arch's is an abuser but because he touched Addie. No shit. Do you—do you not remember Zade's threat? You know, where he threatened to send Arch’s hands to you if he touched you and you threw a hissy fit because your stalker didn’t know you have don’t have a mailbox?

Anyway, they have no issue with family annihilation because they were “bad people,” with Connor, Arch, and their father being “even worse.”

As if Zade’s any better? He spends the entire book being the exact same as the very people he hunts down.

Raging Hypocrisy: 47

Addie ought to change her name to Bella because of the level of Bella Swan we get in the next line, where she worries over the idea of Zade killing the Talaverras. I'm violently reminded of Bella fretting over being the reason Edward didn't show up, despite no evidence. Yeah, like, no shit.

Twilite: 33

Hand Holding: 35

It’s been a week since Arch vanished and she now has an alarm system and cameras, which she says she’s been obsessively checking. Considering she has a stalker that breaks in all the time, it makes sense. While she hopes the security system will ward him off, she admits she tends to make a lot of stupid decisions but she’s apparently “not stupid enough to believe he isn’t going to show.”

You’re A Moron: 88

Sin Thy Ass Off: 50

She says she’s been working on a novel about an escaped slave and I’m side-eyeing her and Carlton immensely for that. Slavery? From this woman? Yeah, no thanks.

Don't Be Racist: 19

But when she hears a creak, she panics, grabs a knife, and goes to investigate White Girl in a Horror Movie-style. As she discovers her bedroom door shut when she'd left it open, she complains because she's “holding all [her] weight on her toes” and whines about how she doesn’t know how ballerinas do it.

A Whole Lot of Nothing: 50

You’re A Moron: 89

Apparently, just staring at the door and hoping it’ll “grow a face and warn [her]” is the correct response when hearing a noise while you have a stalker, because that’s exactly what Addie does. She gets pissed at the idea of Zade going through her underwear drawer and it’s enough to send her charging inside to find it empty save Gigi’s diary.

She picks up the notebook and skims it, taking note of the date of the entry she’s reading, which is apparently “two days before Gigi’s murder.” The entry’s full of terror, how someone’s “after her, scaring her” and Addie wonders who it could be, so she starts going through the diary, desperate for a clue.

Her last entry is especially chilling, no tacky lipstick kiss: he came for me. And there’s been a page ripped out. Addie wonders if Gigi wrote something and ripped it out herself, since the notebooks are “full of cheating and sex and love for a man that stalked her.”

She flashbacks to the conversation with her mother, describing the smell of her perfume as “sickening” and how she’d obviously hoped Addie would move out, which Addie spitefully decided she was going to stay. She admits Nana had a “weird attachment” to the house and how it doesn’t matter if she does, too and concludes someone might want her to find the killer. After wondering if he’s even alive, she decides it doesn’t matter because maybe Gigi just wants justice and her killer exposed.

You’re A Moron: 90

Mommy Issues: the Snyder Cut: 68

After a section break, Daya’s asking why Addie wants her to “hack into the PD’s database” and find the crime scene photos. And it’s apparently just called the police department, no city or state, nothing. We couldn’t have made up a city or anything?

You’re A Moron: 91

Addie remarks how she’s tempted to shove Daya over and do it herself to pull up the records and she describes the photos as “pretty disturbing.” It’s not disturbing because it’s her grandma or because it’s a life lost, and, honestly, a slit throat and a single cigarette burn don’t sound that disturbing. Or maybe that’s the true crime videos I’ve watched.

While she’s staring at the photos, she thinks about how Gigi wasn’t scared of her stalker and then promptly ignores that, talking about his obsession with her and how they’d been fighting because of his jealousy. She considers her great-grandfather and dismisses the idea because he just really, really loved Gigi, despite their marriage falling apart. She decides it had to be the stalker, Ronaldo, which she describes as “obvious.”

She gets pissy over that ripped-out page and says that she could never be a detective. Girl hits one dead end and it’s all over, so I agree. Daya and Addie go back and forth, back and forth and conclude they need to uncover Ronaldo’s identity. No shit but I digress. Addie mentions him possessing a scar on his hand and a gold ring, which I literally don’t remember at all but I kind of disassociate the more I go through this utter shit show, including the god awful letters, so that might be less on her and more on me, though I’m doubtful.

Some more banter that I could care less about and Addie, upon staring a the crime scene photos again, decides that it was a “crime of passion” and how stalkers are “deeply passionate” over their obsessions.

How, exactly, does a slit through and a single cigarette burn scream passion?

You’re A Moron: 92

Some time later, Addie’s bolts awake, sweaty and heart racing, and she scans the room. She says that she doesn’t mind the shadows and knows that whatever woke her has “presence[, a soul.]” Considering it’s a person, um, yeah?

You’re A Moron: 93

There’s a creak outside that freaks her out and she slips out of bed after she hears the “methodical walk, slow and purposeful” and she’s so scared, she’s “frozen.” She spots the screwdriver and rushes for it, waiting for him, wondering if the man outside is crazy if he thinks she’ll open the door. She concedes he must be to break in and enter.

Her stalkers walks away and she hears the a “soft click [like thunder]” as he shuts the front door. She bolts from her room to watch her stalker, describing him as “very tall, but not bulky” and how his body’s “fucking lethal.” We’re treated to her salivating over his “broad shoulders, thick arms, and trimmed waist” and she says that he could “crush [her] if he wanted” with his big yaoi hands.

Do I Dazzle You:25

She wonders if he’d do it to hurt her or pleasure her. Why the fuck is that her thought process? I literally don’t understand because this is the same stalker she knows kidnapped Arch and who’s broken into her house multiple times! The cops can’t help her, either, so she’s feeling hopeless and powerless. She’s losing sleep over him, she’s paranoid and stressed, and her first thought after he BROKE INTO HER HOUSE AGAIN isn’t horror or rage and panic; it’s fucking arousal. As if that makes any of this shit okay!

You’re A Moron: 103 (One for each line basically drooling over his supposed “hotness.”)

Devil’s Tango: 31

Do I Dazzle You: 35

She describes her racing heart and makes sure to let us know it’s a “different reason” now.

Hand Holding: 36

Apparently, she “[wants] to see him” and wonders what stopped him from coming into her room.

He turns into a German Shepard and “cocks his head slightly,” and grins at her with only his “wide mouth and sharp jaw” revealed. She backs up further, telling herself he can’t see her but she can still feel him staring.

Do I Dazzle You: 36

Devil’s Tango: 32

With a “wicked smirk” that makes her lungs apparently “fill with fire,” he just walks away, “slow and purposeful,” into the darkness.

Bad Writing: 91

Insufferable Bastards: 20

Gigi’s Letter #8 — September 18th, 1944

Gigi’s over the moon that “Ronaldo came back,” and she’s so delirious that her stalker’s returned that she doesn’t even notices the cuts or bruises until she “threw [herself] at him” and he grunted. When she finally noticed, she “nearly cried” and after he refused to divulge what happened, she sleeps with him.

Or, as she describes it, she “[lies] with another man,” one that’s not her husband, and how she doesn’t have any regret. She says “yeah, I’m kind of ashamed but not regrets at all.” She even says she wants to do it again.

That’s Still Cheating: 19

I’m supposed to be rooting for this woman why? She’s a cheater, and this is even before the narrative demonizes John as if that’ll make me forget all the times she’s engaged Ronaldo sexually. This entire letter—and by extension Gigi’s story—tries so hard to make the extra marital affair okay by making her husband an asshole. Yeah, no. She gaslights him about the change behavior she hasn’t even tried to hide and describes how she doesn’t regret cheating on him. She doesn’t even seem to worry about her daughter being caught in the cross hairs if it ever gets out.

And you can tell you could take this story line out and nothing would change. It’s just a ham fisted parallel to Addie’s story with Zade, trying to make it sound romantic, and I just wonder if it doesn’t subconsciously influence Addie when it comes to her own stalker.

Anyway, that’s the end of chapter ten and I, for one, am immensely glad it’s over. Until next time.

COUNTS FOR THE CHAPTER

A WHOLE LOT OF NOTHING: 50

BAD WRITING: 91

DEVIL’S TANGO: 32

DO I DAZZLE YOU: 36

DON’T BE RACIST: 19

HAND HOLDING: 36

INSUFFERABLE BASTARDS: 20

MOMMY ISSUES: THE SNYDER CUT: 68

RAGING HYPOCRISY: 47

SIN THY ASS OFF: 50

TWILITE: 33

Do not tag any authors, their publishers, or anyone connected to these authors please. This is purely for entertainment purposes.

I do this because I love to torment myself. I also do this because I find reviews don't allow me to air all my thoughts and grievances.

Spoilers and general shit-talking.

No hate speech, please.

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The first thing we see is a playlist which tells me this book already is gonna be horrendous. I hate how so many books have a playlist in the beginning; I find that's the first red flag that the book I'm about to read isn't that great. Half of these singers I've never heard, save The Weeknd and maybe Sam Tinnesz. At least she didn't put, I don't know, Taylor Swift.

And our warning is brief and doesn’t encompass the absolutely monstrosity that is the handling of this book’s subject matter (at least in my copy of the e-book.)

I guess the book ending on a cliffhanger is far more pressing than contents Carlton claims are “very dark with triggering situations” and considering how she butchers them? Sounds about right.

We get a little quote of Zade asking if the “cat got your tongue” and calls the reader “little mouse” and it makes me want to die a little bit inside.

That’s all we get.

(This is my own trigger warning compiled based on my read through. I find Calrton's lackluster and underwhelming.)

Your mental health matters. This book contains triggering/distressing content in the form of:

Abuse

Abusive Relationships

Abduction

Alcoholism

Antisemitism

Blood

Bodyshaming

Cheating/Infidelity (historical)

Cannibalism

Car Accidents

Child Abuse

Child Rape

Child Sexual Abuse

Conspiracy Theories

Daddy Kink

Death

Death of a Minor

Death of a Parent

Domestic Violence

Explicit Sexual Content

Emotional Abuse

Fatphobia

Gaslighting

Government Conspiracies

Gun Violence

Internalized Misogyny

Misogyny

Murder

Pedophilia

Pedophilia Rings

Physical Assault

Physical Violence

Police

Police Incompetence

Profanity

Organized Crime

Racism

Rape Apologia

Rape (graphic)

Sexism

Sex Trafficking

Sexual Slavery

Sexual Assault

Sexual Harassment

Sexual Violence

Stalker Apologia

Stalking

Torture

Toxic Relationships

Transphobia

Violence

Victim Blaming

Last Chapter

Contents

Next Chapter

We open on Zade talking about the darkness of his soul and about how he’s “committed [cold-blooded] murder” and how he’s done it for various reason, each more understandable or noble and selfless than the rest apparently. But, apparently, never jealousy. He’s very blasé about it, saying there’s a “first time for everything.” For your victimology to change? I watch a great deal of Criminal Minds, and you feel pretty in line with the UNSUBs on there.

Edge Lord of Darkness: 33

Bad Writing: 86

You’re A Moron: 78

Insufferable Bastards: 16

He’s more angry at the idea of Arch “touching [his] girl” than the idea of an abuser rapist in general and goes on and on about it, describing in very crude detail the sex scene that honestly just feel gross and gratuitous as if we weren’t just treated to an in-depth scene from Addie’s point of view. He claims that Arch’s apparently a “[fucking] real psychopath” that abused his ex-wife and he’s seething at the idea of her recovering and Arch living the night life with different women. He also adds that Arch assaults women during sex.

Raging Hypocrisy: 27

As if Zade’s not doing the exact same thing. He stalks Addie without remorse, who didn’t consent to any of the things he does. And that's not even getting into the violent rape and assault scenes that I'm supposed to find titillating and sexy but I don't because it's a sex crime. But just like Arch, Zade finds sick, perverse pleasure in tormenting and raping Addie. The only difference is he’s the point-of-view character and he's white. If Arch took up volunteering at the soup kitchen on the weekends, does that negate the fact he’s an abuser rapist? No. Zade hunting down pedophiles and rescuing sex trafficking survivors doesn’t balance the fact he's a stalker rapist murderer. And neither do his “good” looks. But only one of these men rapes and torments our main character.

Sin Thy Ass Off: 49

Anyway. Zade’s ignored Arch and Co. since they’re “ants” in comparison the, uh, “fucking dinosaurs” around them until now and he makes sure we know he’s got much more pressing matters than “low-life criminals.” He wouldn’t have really cared if they hadn’t gone after Addie. He whines about how if the Talaverras find out about him, especially him killing Arch, they’ll kill her.

If he doesn’t want her to be killed by the Talaverras, he simply doesn't have to kill Arch; he's choosing to put her in danger. But if he were the super clever hacker vigilante we’re told he is, why wouldn't he just kill Arch and make it look like a rival gang complete with planted evidence? I think that’d better showcase his supposed prowess at being a shadowy mysterious figure than whining about her getting killed by something he chose to do. Or if he was smarter, he could still choose to do it and pin it on a random Talaverra enemy and call it a night. He can still torture and murder Arch, and Addie's still safe—two birds, one knife, and all that.

He settles on killing everyone in the household and then turns his attention back to his favorite pastime—ruining Addie’s life. He “[pours] all [his] anger” into knocking on the door and makes sure to mention how he totz “[doesn’t] [give] a fuck” if he breaks it. And this is any different from Greyson putting a hole in the wall when Addie called off the night how?

As if we didn’t read it ourselves in the first chapter, he remembers the night with the “small dick asshole” and the way he’d booked it out the house with “only one sock on” while cussing Addie out. The only reason he didn’t outright kill Greyson was being Addie “kicked him out” but he adds that she’s got no idea he “forbade” Greyson from her like he has any right to do that and how he’d “cut out his tongue for the names he called her.”

Pet Monster: 13

Insufferable Bastards: 17

Smells Like Misogyny: 81

Hand Holding: 32 (For the overly detailed callback.)

He smugly “[knows] Arch’s type” and calls him a “rabid fox posing as wolf,” unaware of the “real predator” waiting for him. Arch steps out with his gun drawn and, upon reaching the steps and silence in response to him calling out, he “hesitates” a moment then, uh, apparently “develops a vagina” and makes his way off the porch.

Smells Like Misogyny: 82 (I can’t put my finger on it but it feels weird so it gets a point. I know there’s something there.)

But Arch’s head has a mind of its own because it “turns” and he sees Zade standing there with a rose in his mouth with a “feral grin that would chill even the devil” and he shanks Arch like it’s a prison fight then shoves him and, while he’s disoriented, renders him unconscious via a “sharp punch” to the back of his head.

Unintentionally Hilarious: 24

He complains that Arch is “bleeding profusely” because that means he’ll have to stop it before it’s too late. Of course, he takes the time to…put the rose in Arch’s blood, which feel so Edgy and Dark, I think my brain broke reading that. He dips the rose in Arch’s blood. A rose in actual blood. The stalker—Oh, fuck it. Moving on.

Pet Monster: 16

Edge Lord of Darkness: 36

He claims it’s a “consequence” for disobeying him and drags Arch back to his Mustang. Of course he drives a Mustang. He leaves a “blood trail” that won’t lead to anything outside the make and model of his car but nothing that can’t be destroyed. It’ll all work out with cops “[not knowing] which direction to look” and Arch’s family assuming it was enemies. Again, it’d make more sense to have another crime family take the fall as opposed to this shit. They wouldn’t know who he is until, as he claims, he’s “standing in front of them with a knife in their necks.” How badass of him.

Pet Monster: 17

Edge Lord of Darkness: 37

The next section opens with Arch running his mouth and Zade, in lieu of stapling Arch’s mouth shut like he wants, turns around and punches Arch, all while the Mustang doesn’t even waver because he’s that much Better Than You. Hello, Edward. How not lovely to see you again.

Twilite: 29

Because Zade considers Addie his, he’s going to “experience a lot worse” tonight and how he’s hog-tied Arch perfectly since he’s has “too much practice.” He whines about Arch squawking since he regained consciousness, threats of which he’s ignored up until Arch mentions Addie, calling her a “piece of ass” and remarking about her genitals and her porn star voice (which I still don’t understand). He says she’s nothing special and that’s what turned a “fairly slow death” into the “slowest to ever happen since the dawn of humanity.”

Smells Like Misogyny: 83

Edge Lord of Darkness: 38

Twilite: 30

And then we get a very self insert suethor remark about how it’s bad enough he talked about “[Zade’s girl]” in such a fashion but then he implied she “[wasn’t] anything special.” To Zade, there will “never be another like her” because she’s the “first of her kind.”

Sues Run the World: 52

We’re told all about how he came into his warehouse, yammering about it’s “[small] structure” and how it used to be own by camera company that went out of business, leading to the property being foreclosed. He scooped that shit up for “dirt cheap” and then renovated into, as he says, an “impenetrable fortress.” Apparently, he uses the main floor as a “living space with state-of-the-art security” that even an insect wouldn’t be able to sneak in undetected and the second floor is relegated to his “work space” with “dozens of computers and illegal technology” to make his job easier. And the basement where he handles “business,” and because Carlton needs to hold our hands just like all the other bad suethors before her, we’re told that’s where he “[takes] the pedophiles.”

A Whole Lot of Nothing: 43

Hand Holding: 33

The underground garage apparently leads straight into said basement/torture room, which he says makes it easier for carting a “six-foot-two dickhead” to his torture table. He says that he’s a big man, too but that he’s “just as capable of throwing out [his] back as the next person” and how he’s “still a human fucking being.” But I thought you were a real predator, unlike Arch, who’s just a rabid fox playing at wolf?

Bad Writing: 88

Unintentionally Hilarious: 26

Anyway, Zade sighs at all the blood and yammers about how he’s usually “more prepared” when he kidnaps people and how they usually get stuffed in the trunk, which means the interior of his car stays clean. This time, he’s sloppy and just chucked Arch into the backseat, which leaves “blood everywhere” and I have no sympathy. He’s complaining about a situation he caused. No one made him shank Arch. He did it just because.

You’re A Moron: 83 (One for each line.)

He talks about how he’ll absolutely “pay [his] cleaning crew extra” to get those stains out and how any normal person would ask upon seeing the volume of blood, but his people apparently get paid too well to do so. Plus, it’ll “get them killed.”

You’re A Moron: 84

I heard the next line as the Booty Warrior from Boondocks, because Zade says they they can “do this the easy way or the hard way” and I really expected to see “the choice is yours” at the end, too. Arch starts to mouth fuck you and Zade says it “doesn’t take a genius” to know what comes next and because he’s not being a “good little bitch and [staying] still,” he punches Arch again but in the nose this time, the noise of which is apparently “nearly orgasmic.” But he gets pissed again when Arch spits a tooth out and makes a big deal of “[shoving] his foot up [Arch’s] ass.”

Him constantly getting pissed and lashing out violently at Arch doesn’t lend any credence to him trying to tell us he’s Cool as a Cucumber all the time. He just reads like a man with no regulatory skills whatsoever. He’s the guy who plays Call of Duty and puts holes through walls. You can’t convince me otherwise, either.

Hand Holding: 34

Unintentionally Hilarious: 27

Pet Monster: 19

Smells Like Misogyny: 84

You’re A Moron: 85

He drags Arch out the car and acts all haughty about Arch’s expression, saying he knows Arch’s feeling like “his life is balancing on the edge, and [Zade’s] about to fucking Sparta kick him off.” How am I supposed to take this man seriously? But despite all the struggling—you know, as people do sometimes when faced with imminent death or torment—he manages to get Arch on a surgical table and straps him down.

Unintentionally Hilarious: 28

Arch freaks out at the sight of a dead Fernando, and Zade takes a moment to remind us of that girl, Sicily, and how he oversaw her drop off himself because deep down, he’s just a great guy. He asked Michael, whoever that is, to drop Fernando off while he went to stalk Addie. Apparently, seeing all the men hump her on the dance floor tested his “willpower” and he fought to not kill every last one of them. Considering it was all nonconsensual, I would be inclined to agree but considering Zade literally stalks and rapes her, I can’t give him a point. Also grinded? It’s ground. God, there’s really no editing anymore, is there?

Bad Writing: 89

Even though he was busy with Fernando, he hacked into the club’s security feed and watched Addie through it, his methods for Fernando “[becoming] a lot bloodier” when she went upstairs.

Pet Monster: 20

But he got the information he was looking for: “Their process for extracting girls, names of some of the mules, and the name of who Fernando reports to.” That’s immediately thrown to the side to focus on Arch and, more importantly, torturing him. Arch starts to plead, saying they can work out a deal, and Zade essentially jerks his shit to Arch’s wounds, which are “broken teeth,” a “bruised and swollen nose,” and “split, puffy lips.”

When Zade makes it clear this isn’t about the Talaverras, Arch freaks out, taunting that “[Addie] fucking wanted [him]” and how it’s not his fault that “[Zade’s] girl doesn’t want [him.]”

Smells Like Misogyny: 85

Zade doesn’t “bother” to explain his obsession and adds he doesn’t want to, either. He goes on a very unsettling spiel about how she “won’t be able to think of anyone else” once they officially meet and beats his meat to the idea of “[devouring] her from the inside out” until she’s hooked on him like meth, happily “[consuming] every inch” until she only thinks of ways to get him deeper into her. He admits she’ll “fear [him]” and adds how it’ll “ignite her” all the same. That’s incredibly rape-y and creepy. It’s okay to stalk and terrorize this person because they have a fear kink! Not. Again, how is he any different from the sex traffickers and pedophiles he hunts down? He’s using the very same tactics they do but I guess it’s okay cause he’s a rich, conventionally attractive white man with a monster peen that makes her orgasm so hard her brain melts.

Pet Monster: 20

Raging Hypocrisy: 32

He picks up a serrated screwdriver and takes a moment to tell us how the military uses techniques like he’s about, unbeknownst to the public, who “isn’t ignorant by any means but sure as fuck don’t know the extent” of what the government does. You just described basically every government.

A Whole Lot of Nothing: 47

He talks about he “can’t fucking wait” to use it since it hurts more on extraction and Arch starts to lose his shit, telling Zade that Addie isn’t worth and asks if he “[realizes] what [Arch’s] family will do” and Zade’s response can be summed up as “oh, silly boy, you think I’m going to just kill you?” Arch goes red at the blasé remark, and Zade goes on a little aside about apples his mommy got him as a kid. No, I’m not shitting you.

Unintentionally Hilarious: 29

A Whole Lot of Nothing: 49

Arch is pissed, complete with veins out, which Zade says isn’t a “pretty sight” as if it matters if he’s pretty or not. He’s in disbelief that this is all because he “almost fucked a girl” and how he “didn’t even fucking know she was [Zade’s.]”

Smells Like Misogyny: 33

Zade stabs him in the stomach and says that no one is safe. Arch calls him crazy and the screwdriver is removed, the noise apparently quiet against Arch’s scream of pain. Zade talks about the “unbridled anger” that the images of “[Arch’s] hand in her pants, kissing her, whispering shit into her ear, and making her come” inspire in him. He isn’t just pissed that another man touched Addie; he’s especially pissed because she “[wanted] [Arch] back” and he’s pissed that she “climaxed for a shit stain like him.” He tells us he’ll “have to erase [Arch’s] touch from her.”

Pet Monster: 21

Edge Lord of Darkness: 39

Smells Like Misogyny: 34

Zade’s more angry at the fact it was welcome than the fact it happened at all, meanwhile he contentiously rapes her throughout the book and doesn’t even give a fuck about the harm he’s causing. And I’m supposed to hate Arch as opposed to Zade? Zade’s only redeeming quality is the whole vigilante shtick, which doesn’t absolve him of his crimes.

He tells himself to chill because she “doesn’t know [him] yet” and “doesn’t understand what true need is.” He goes Mega Creep by continuing this train of thought, adding that she doesn’t understand quite yet but she will. He knows she’s going to hate him, going to fight him, and how she’ll try to find “something else that makes her feel even a fraction of what [he] will.” He’s smug that she won’t and he won’t even let her try. He lies that he’s not “usually reactive” but it must be “[his] little mouse” inspiring all sorts of new things in him.

Smells Like Misogyny: 41

He focuses back on Arch and demands to know how many women he’s hurt, mockingly calling him Archie as he walks behind the guy. But it isn’t just because he’s got a leg cramp; it’s an “intimidation tactic for the weak-minded,” which he very much isn’t. Basically it’s strategic peek-a-boo. Arch’s pissed at the nickname and demands not to be called that and, to be a dick, Zade says that he’s evading the question and calls him Archie again. Arch doesn’t answer.

Edge Lord of Darkness: 40

Twilite: 31

Insufferable Bastards: 18

Apparently, the nickname’s a big trigger for Arch because it was what his dead mom called him. She died of cancer when he was ten, which left his father to start dealing to cover the costs of bills and the funeral. Arch’s father raised “cold and ruthless” children and Arch has a thing for stabbing people who call him that, including his best friend Max. We’re told that Max even complained of it in a bar Jay frequents, because that makes more sense than just simply drawing the conclusion someone’s supposed best friend wouldn’t take kindly to being stabbed. But if they’re close, why the fuck would Max call him by his dead mom’s nickname for him? Just to be a dick, I guess?

When Arch can’t give a satisfactory reply, Zade informs him he “read up on [Arch’s] ex-wife” and how he “beat her so badly, she was barely recognizable.” He damn near killed her. Arch’s reaction is to sniff and, upon noticing not even a sliver of remorse in his eyes, Zade says that “narcissistic assholes never are” and how they’re always the victim.

I know I’m obviously supposed to hate Arch for being an abuser but how is this any different from what Zade puts Addie through? In his narration, in her narration, and even Carlton’s own words, he stalks, rapes, and assaults a young woman. Why is one acceptable and the other not? As I said before, somehow Zade’s actions are justifiable (or at least in this book and it’s fanbase) because of some very disgusting and downright disturbing victim blaming, because he’s the rich, hot white male point-of-view character, and because he rescues sex trafficking survivors. Zade doesn’t feel the slightest bit ashamed or guilty or remorseful—just like Arch—about anything he does to Addie. In fact, he relishes in it. So please, feel free to tell me how his attitude is any different from Arch’s who’s condemned by the narrative?

Anyway, Arch acts like it was okay because she cheated, even going so far as to pout, which Zade likens to a “child that didn’t get a birthday cake.” When asked if Arch cheated first, he deflects and says it doesn’t matter because “she’s the wife and [he] [makes] the money” and how if he wanted to buy a stripper even, it’s his “goddamn right.” All she did, he whines, was sit at home and spend money.

Smells Like Misogyny: 44

And, of course, because Zade doesn’t really care about anyone that isn’t himself and Addie, he asks if he’d have hurt her. Arch’s response is to scoff and brush off assault, saying how “bitches like [it rough.]” Again, how is this any different from Zade saying Addie wants it because she’s wet? Zade yammers about how Arch “doesn’t know how to push women to the edge of pain and pleasure” as if that somehow absolves Zade of doing the same thing he’s acting like Arch is a monster for. Is it less rape if there’s pleasure involved? Rape is still rape. Arch “just hurts women.” As opposed to you just hurting one, Zade?

Raging Hypocrisy: 44

He brings up how Arch didn’t hurt Addie, waiting for the reply “[he] knows [Arch’ll] give” but he isn’t scared enough yet. And, like most people, he’s trying to “put on a false bravado act and die with dignity” but Zade’s very smug about the fact that’ll change soon enough. When Arch finally responds with “you gotta relax them first. The plans I had for [Addie…] Her cries would’ve been such a beautiful song.”

Smells Like Misogyny: 45

Zade accepts the answer for what it is because it apparently fuels the torture he has planned. He ends the chapter talking about he’s “very much going to embody [Arch’s] method for sex” and how he’s going to enjoy “hurting and making him bleed.”

Edge Lord of Darkness: 41

And Arch’s death will make him “wish he had never met Adeline Reilly.”

Thank God I don’t have to suffer through one of Gigi’s letters.

COUNTS FOR THE CHAPTER

A WHOLE LOT OF NOTHING: 49

BAD WRITING: 89

EDGE LORD OF DARKNESS: 41

INSUFFERABLE BASTARDS: 18

HAND HOLDING: 34

PET MONSTER: 21

RAGING HYPOCRISY: 44

SIN THY ASS: 49

SMELLS LIKE MISOGYNY: 45

SUES RUN THE WORLD: 52

TWILITE: 31

UNINTENTIONALLY HILARIOUS: 29

Last Chapter

Contents

Next Chapter

Despite the threat of violence, Addie takes Arch back to hers, citing her reason as “[feeling] much safer” than if they’d gone to his. She says it probably wasn’t a good idea because her house is isolated and there’s the cliff to worry about but, most of all, she has a “stalker that lingers around and likes to break in.”

Then she says it’s stupid.

Sin Thy Ass Off: 41

Saying something’s stupid or a bad idea and then continuing to do the aforementioned thing doesn’t absolve you of being a complete moron. The self-awareness doesn’t lend you any points.

Arch compliments her house, taking in the updates she’s done but his eyes keep going to the staircase, which she says if as if he knows her room’s up there. No shit, Addie—bedrooms for houses more than one story tend to have the bedrooms on a different floor.

You’re A Moron: 62

Addie leads him into the sunroom, which she claims is her favorite in the entire manor, and tells us how she’s been hesitant to go into it, considering it “hurts” after she lost Nana. She decides to take this man, who she plans to have satisfying sex with, to a room where she spent a good chunk of time with her Nana in…why, exactly? She even describes the room as “still thick with [Nana’s] presence.” So forgive me if I find it kind of disturbing that she’d have sex somewhere heavy with memories of her beloved dead grandmother. That’s freaky as hell and really weird.

Mommy Issues: the Snyder Cut: 66

Devil’s Tango: 12

Through double doors, the room is essentially “a glass box” and “overlooks the cliff edge,” with the “[moonlit] water glittering.” But that’s not all, folks! Addie says the “most notable part” is above them—a nighttime sky “lit up with orbs of diamonds” that “[glitter and shine] against the black backdrop.” Personally, I’d love to have sex under the stars but not in a room I spent a lot of time with my dead grandmother in, but hey, maybe that’s just me.

Arch gawks at the sight with “his mouth hanging open,” and Addie imagines it’s one of the few times he’s “looked unattractive,” but then contradicts herself by saying he’s never been more attractive than right now. Right now, he’s “not concerned with controlling his face and movements” and how he’s “just a man in awe of the beauty.” When he looks to her, she says the “edges of his eyes [are] [rounded] with delight” and in the next breath describes his eyes as “blue moons.” I don’t think the edges of your eyes can round nor do I think likening blue moons to eyes is a good simile, either.

Bad Writing: 78

Do I Dazzle You: 14

Regardless, his blue moon eyes rounded with delight are apparently full of “an emotion [she] can’t put her finger on” and, for someone who nicknamed herself the Manipulator, she’s not very good at realizing he looked fucking sad. And she halfheartedly wants to know why, but says that by “his eyes [heating] like a burner on the stove,” she knows the opportunity’s passed.

Ah, yes, the epitome of sexy—a hot eye on a stove.

Bad Writing: 79

Unintentionally Hilarious: 12

Arch goes sexy mode, “prowling” forward, and she watches him “with bated breath,” but she can’t forget where they are…or the idea that her “shadow [might be] lurking outside” with a “full view” due to the glass walls. Part of her doesn’t care because she just has to stick it to The Man, who, mind you, threatened to cut off Arch’s hands for touching her (regardless if it was consensual) and has been breaking into her house regularly without a trace.

She goes on a very White Feminist diatribe about how the “only person who will lay claim to [her] body is who [she] [allows]” and how how she’ll let Arch’s “hands to touch [her.]” Hands, that she says, “will trace every inch of [her] skin, followed by his mouth” and how she’ll let “his tongue lick [her] pussy until [she’s] sated, right before he fucks [her] until [she] no longer know[s] [her] name.” And how she’ll let him because she said he could.

This is obviously supposed to be her being Empowered and Badass, just like shoving the rose in the whiskey glass and calling it a masterpiece, but it just makes her sound ridiculous to the nth degree. It also reads akin to the monologue previously, from the first chapter, about how she totally doesn’t care what her mother thinks, blah, blah, blah.

Smells Like Misogyny: 80 (One point for each line about how Feminist and Badass she is to choose sex.)

Devil’s Tango: 21

Unintentionally Hilarious: 21

You’re A Moron: 71

But Arch pulls her in close, and Addie gushes about the way “the hard ridges” of his body feels nice, apparently. Good. Then they kiss, and she describes how kissing him feels like “water at the bottom of the cliff, swaying against the rocks.” Water doesn’t sway and especially not against rocks. Also that imagery doesn’t bring to mind a man who “gently captures” a woman’s lips in a kiss.

Bad Writing: 80

She “[moans] into his mouth” and “[pries] his lips apart,” which makes him growl and his “restraint [slip].” He holds her tighter, fisting her hair and angling her head so he can “plunge [and explore] [her] mouth.” She pushes up against him because she’s loving it and “[shudders] at the feel of his hard cock” because he’s “not small,” which she’s salivating over. She’s excited at the idea of “something that will blind [her] with pleasure and leave [her] breathless and satisfied.”

Which we all know Zade will, even as she denies it. He’ll just be so “passionate” and so “big” that she’ll have ten million orgasms that melt her brain. Despite the fact it’s just straight up rape and assault.

There’s some more back and forth where she describes her moan as “bouncing in his mouth” and how his hand “[jerks] her mouth away.” When he bites her neck, “sharp pleasure sends [her] eyes to the back of [her] head,” and he curses, muttering something about her voice, of all things. Not that he likes how vocal she is or how she’s loud or anything—her, uh, sexy voice, apparently.

He opens her jeans and asks if “[her] pussy [is] wet” while he delivers a “smarting” nip that he soothes immediately. She says that his hand “slithers” into her underwear and doesn’t stop until the “tip of his middle finger dips inside.” Then he says that he wants to “hear [her] sing,” and I’ve never heard anyone refer to making their partner moan as singing. It also makes me of a bird. Music to their ears, yes but singing?

Bad Writing: 81

Unintentionally Hilarious: 22

Then his fingers “plunge” into her without any preamble and she says her “vision blackens” as she lets out a “yelp of pleasure” and how it’s the “only thing [she’s] capable of.” He proceeds to start “driving” his fingers in and out of her and she tells us “all [she] can do is hold on” while she “[sings] for him just the way he asked.” He says she sings so pretty and uses the “heel of his palm” on her clit, which doesn’t sound all that enticing to me, but hey, each to their own. She says his “skilled fingers” make her knees quake and he ask, “in a dark whisper,” if she’ll, uh, ‘sing pretty’ when she comes. She “[thinks] she [nods]” but the tension’s too fierce for her to be sure.

He adds a finger and she “[plummets] over the edge.” He calls her a pretty bird and she kisses him and he breaks it by smearing her arousal on her mouth, purring that she’s “left a mess” and how it’d “be rude not to clean it up.” Honestly? I have no issue—outside the pretty bird and singing nonsense I’m supposed to find sexy—with this scene. They’re both working well off one another, and most importantly? It’s consensual. How the fuck is the stalker who rapes and assaults Addie on a regular basis supposed to be less of a monster than the man she’s having a consensual encounter with? I think this might be the only one in the book.

Just as she sucks his finger in, she gets an “icy feeling” and describes how the waves of pleasure have “turned angry” and are “ramming [her] body into the unforgiving rock.” Despite it being dark, she “[feels] like [she’s] in a room filled with stadium lights.” Movement outside the window, which apparently sends “[her] heart upside down and sends it crashing to the pit of [her] stomach.”

Bad Writing: 82

Unintentionally Hilarious: 23

Even though she can’t see him, she knows Zade’s out there, saying she “can feel him.” Arch pulls away, and she says that his expression is conflicted between asking if she’s okay or keep going, and asks what’s wrong. She lies and says it’s nothing because she’s the dumb horror movie protagonist you’re screaming at.

You’re A Moron: 72

Now that she’s not high on orgasm fumes, she doesn’t think egging on the unhinged individual stalking her is a good idea but adds she’s “too stubborn” to put an end to this night and she “[wants] Arch” but not with any voyeurs while, in her own words, she “[takes] him.”

Hand Holding: 30

You’re A Moron: 72

Sin Thy Ass Off: 42

Yeah, no shit, girl. But considering the stalker’s angry knocking the last time you almost got with a man, I’d be more concerned what the stalker might do if you actually have sex. But I guess that’s not Addie. Also take him? We didn’t need that. Blergh.

He’s incredulous because every person’s dream is oral beneath the stars—which arguably is infinitely more sexy and romantic than a single thing Zade does—and when her attention’s drawn away due to more movement in the window, he “[presses] against [her]” and she says that she has to “crane [her] neck” to look up at him and it’s apparently a “sight [she’ll] never forget.”

But we’re not given any description to further this sight she’ll never forget. At least Meyer had the right idea to wax poetry about Edward’s beauty with a line like that.

Bad Writing: 83

Arch immediately starts dirty-talking to her, which is one thousand times more sexy than anything we see Zade do, whispering about how she “should strip off [her] clothes and show [him] that sexy little body” and when she does, he wants her to “lie down, spread [her] legs, and let him clean up the mess [she] made.”

Addie squeaks and blushes, sniping at herself internally for it. Just as she starts to whip her jeans off, “a loud bang disturbs the charged silence” and breaks the moment. They’re both unsettled, Addie by “fucking de ja vu” and him by the unexpected company, and she’s apparently “incredibly close to stomping like a child” because she “was actually enjoying [herself]” unlike with Greyson.

Act Your Age: 25

Bad Writing: 85 (One point for déjà vu being broken up like that and one for the missing accents in it.)

If you knew you weren’t going to like sex with Greyson, why even agree? For some disgusting comparison to show much a sex god Zade is??

Regardless of my opinions on Addie’s sex life as it stands, Arch charges towards possible danger with Addie on his heels, “buttoning and zipping [her] pants as [she] goes” because her two brain cells are rubbing together and she can “[sense] the night is over.”

You’re A Moron: 73

When he gets to the front door, he tells her to stay in the hallway and hesitates with a “weird look” on his face that she can’t figure out. He says to call the police if things get worse and she’s silent with fear. But she has the where-with-all to lament about how she “should’ve told him [she] [has] a stalker” and how she “thought [she] saw something in the sunroom” but everything happened so fast and now he’s “actively putting himself in danger.”

Sin Thy Ass Off: 43

It seems to me it didn’t happen too fast at all because if it had, you wouldn’t have had an orgasm. Had plenty of time to squeeze that in before Arch exits stage right with the narrative acting like Zade’s any different.

The situation, of course, turns her on as much as it frightens her and she claims she needs to “check herself into a mental hospital” but only if she survives tonight. She says her shadow’s pissed, just like with Greyson, and goes on about how he could “kill [them] both.” Especially, she adds as if we don’t remember the threat, now that he got a front row seat to Arch finger banging her in the sunroom.

Addie spends all of a moment regretting this but only because Arch might get murdered because she wanted to stick it to The Man because she’s just so feisty and rebellious! Then adds if not murdered than, at most, brutally mutilated.

Arch steps onto the porch, acting big and bad, and Addie’s “eyes[bulge]” when he pulls out a gun as she wonders “who the hell [she] let in [her] house.” As if people don’t conceal carry or have weapons at home for this very scenario? You know next to nothing about Arch yet you’re freaking the fuck out when—in a possibly volatile, dangerous situation—he steps onto your porch with a weapon to fend off your stalker. Why do you seem more unsettled by him being armed than the stalker that’s broken into your house several times?

You’re A Moron: 74

Addie flashbacks to her conversation with Daya, saying that it “looks like [she] did find someone willing to kill for [her]” and says if the foreplay’s any indication, he “would’ve done well in that department, too.” She’s pissed because her stalker is ruining tonight, so she starts praying to God, promising to stop drinking and meaning it this time because she doesn’t want Arch to die. She also hopes that Arch’s aim is good and I, for one, hope it is too because I’m going to ask him for a bullet between the eyes.

When she finally goes outside, she doesn’t see anyone or anything aside from his car. As she steps out onto the porch, she says that the “crunch of something” underfoot “cements [her] body into stone.” It’s a rose, because of fucking course it is, and it’s covered in “fresh blood.”

She activates her singular brain cell and dials the police, spotting both the text she saw in the club and the other one she’d ignored, from Zade. It says “don’t feel guilty, baby. I don’t make idle threats, so consider this a lesson learned.”

The cops show up but only after a thorn-free rose image transition and she says the “flashing red and blue lights” make her sick and how she’s full of dread while officers and dogs search her property. They took the rose but “the blood has stained [her] hands—physically and metaphorically,” she tells us.

Hand Holding: 31

She cries a single tear and declares she “killed a man.” She knew there was possible danger but didn’t care. We know, Addie. You even went on a whole monologue to stick it to The Man in the Window about how Arch was going to have filthy, raunchy, intense sex with you because you said so.

The sheriff approaches and she turns to the audience to, yet again, monologue about how she’s “known him since [she] was a child” and all about how he’d gone to school with Sarina and how sometimes he’s invited for dinner. Then she tells us about his looks—how he’s a “tall, built man” at “six-seven” and how his family is just at tall. And how his father was a sheriff, too and his grandfather and how it’s a family affair because the current sheriff—who I’ll dub Sheriff Sexy just because—has a couple of brother who’re cops, too.

A Whole Lot of Nothing: 35 (Yes, ten whole points. One for each line of necessary backstory we didn’t need.)

He asks some standard questions and she answers truthfully, thinking fondly about Arch giving his full name. After she tells him, he’s quiet and then admits that her stalker “might’ve done [her] a favor.” While she waits for elaboration, she notes his “thick, dark hair” and how he must’ve been “attractive” younger and how his looks are basically ruined due to the “silver invading his hair” and the “wrinkle lines” at his eyes and mouth.

Do I Dazzle You: 18

Turns out Arch’s family are “known criminals” and Addie takes a moment to shit on her mother, saying she did awful raising Addie because her “life choices are questionable at best lately.” Then she talks about she needs to talk with, uh, the “She-Devil from above” because, obviously, “she’s been trying to kill [Addie] off.” And she wonders if she should let Her.

Mommy Issues: the Snyder Cut: 67

You’re A Moron: 77

Allegedly, Arch’s family dabbles in cocaine and Arch in particular’s been accused of domestic violence by his ex-wife, which he got out of. When Addie covers her face, she says Sheriff Sexy is “assuming [she’s] crying” but she tells us she’s “too angry.” She’s pissed at herself for taking him home and she’s especially pissed because of his dangerous family.

She’s rightfully anxious they might come after her and Sheriff Sexy says it’s unlikely, considering she’s a “random girl” and how they have a “list of enemies a mile long.” Even if they do look into her, they’ll probably lose interest and turn their focus to actual threats. So long as they don’t find out about her stalker, or, more accurately, according to Sheriff Sexy, the rose. She admits to having a stalker and he’s confused because he hasn’t seen any reports. She starts yelling, and I feel kind of bad for the guy because it’s giving the same vibe as a customer yelling at someone who has to fix a mistake they didn’t cause.

After he gets her to chill out, she does and relays everything to him and Sheriff Sexy admits that Arch’s family might blame her. I, for one, agree because she knew she had a stalker, knew he’d threatened “any man that touched her,” and still went through with everything. I’m not saying Zade’s right—he’s very much not—but Addie completely disregarded his threat and doesn’t even have the common sense not to get fingered in clear view of said psycho.

We’re treated to the first mention of Addie’s father, who’s ask Sheriff Sexy for details “about certain things” which would piss Sarina off because they discussed grisly things in front of child-Addie. I can’t argue with Sarina there because there are some topics not suitable in certain setting and I consider in front of a child one of those. Of course, we're meant to dislike Sarina for this because Addie-girl, remember, loves scary things from birth. And it's yet another dig at Sarina, who Addie can't go a chapter without shitting all over, even in situations where there's no real connection. Hello, Feyellanessa. (Feyre from ACOTAR, Bella (the progenitor of these, arguably) from Twilight, Ana from Fifty Shades of Grey, and Tessa from After.)

Sheriff Sexy promises he’ll “do everything in [his] power” to keep her safe and she just flat out says it “doesn’t make [her] feel any better.”

The chapter ends with her telling us that he isn’t going to be able to help her, be it a “crime family or a fucking stalker.”

Onto the goddamn letter, I suppose.

Gigi’s Letter #7 — September 10th, 1944

Gigi begins this one by wailing about how she “[hasn’t] seen Ronaldo in three days.” How very fucking dramatic. It’s three days, lady. And he isn’t even your man!

That’s Still Cheating: 5

Apparently, she and John had a fight, where he said “[she’s] changed” and that she’s “no longer the woman he fell in love with” and that she’s “distant now.” He also complains that when he wants her, she’s not interested.

She describes her marriage as feeling “wrong and dirty” but she doesn’t feel as if she’s cheating on John, her literal husband, but Ronaldo. She doesn’t bother to give John a response and how saying I love you feels “empty” when it isn’t directed at Ronaldo. And she can tell it’s eating John alive because she can see the “hollowness” in his eyes. Then, the letter ends with her straight up telling us that she “[doesn’t] care” that she’s losing her husband.

Yet again this book’s trying to make me sympathize with a cheater, and I can’t do that. Even from the beginning, when Ronaldo is simply a stranger watching her from outside her window, she doesn’t want John to hurt him. And it makes no fucking sense unless you count is as some ham-fisted attempt to excuse the affair she engages in.

That’s Still Cheating: 14 (One for each line.)

COUNTS FOR THE CHAPTER

ACT YOUR AGE: 25

A WHOLE LOT OF NOTHING: 35

BAD WRITING: 85

DEVIL’S TANGO: 21

DO I DAZZLE YOU: 18

HAND HOLDING: 31

MOMMY ISSUES: THE SNYDER CUT: 67

SIN THY ASS OFF: 43

SMELLS LIKE MISOGYNY: 80

THAT’S STILL CHEATING: 14

UNINTENTIONALLY HILARIOUS: 23

Last Chapter

Contents

Next Chapter

We begin with Daya telling Addie that she “[needs] to get out of the house” with “fear and distress” in her “sage eyes” after Addie shares the information from Sarina’s visit. Then she declares it’s a “girls night” and demands Addie “get ready.”

Boundaries? What’re Those: 9

Bad Writing: 69

Addie’s not interested, claiming she needs to finish her manuscript, where she’s written a plot hole and has decided to break her tools to fix, but we’re never told what the plot hole or what her book’s about. In fact, I’ve read this entire book and still can’t tell you what she writes. Her books are mentioned constantly and there’s a few scenes of her writing, but were not given any depth or details concerning it. It’s just background fodder, or that’s how it comes across to me.

After she whines to audience, Daya basically says, “Yeah, I don’t fucking care, bitch,” and Addie says she “[doesn’t] argue” and goes on a whole monologue about how she’s not traditionally published and how she doesn’t set deadlines because they stress her out. Sometimes, she wishes she could “simply [her work] and call it a day” but she can’t possibly do that because she owes just so much to her fans! She just simply cannot write when she’s “[anxious]” and started bitching about how “Daya knows this” and uses it as a “weapon” against Addie.

It’s so not nice to see you again, Bella.

Twilite: 24

But she allowed Daya to herd her upstairs and her attention’s on the “mirror and chest,” describing “[her] eyes immediately falling” to them, which she claims is routine since she found out about the murder. She describes them as “beacon” that seem to claim they know the killer and how it doesn’t matter she’s slapped on a fresh coat of black paint, “the bones are still the same.”

Edge Lord of Darkness: 30

Yeah, that’s kind of a given. It’s the same reason places that are sites of crimes and life taken remain abandoned after the fact.

I’m given the world’s worst whiplash when she starts yammering about the decor she’s changed—about how the floors and walls have been updated to “smooth black rock” and how it contrasts with the “white ceilings and large white rugs.” She’s also excited to show off her “installed heating” for the floor, claiming getting up to pee in the middle of the night and suffering from cold floor is “cruel and unusual punishment.” She even adds the same “sconces in the hallway” to her room, saying they’re framed around a framed artwork that hangs over her bed. We’re told that her “favorite part” is her balcony, with “black double doors” that lead to the terrace, which she says makes one feel “small and insignificant” when faced with such a beautiful sight. Most of the house has been updated, with her keeping some of the original style with “sconces, checkered floors, black stone fireplace and black cabinets” but the thing she’s proudest of is Gigi’s rocking chair, red velvet of course.

She loves her “Victorian gothic dreamhouse.”

Jesus, this reads like a fledgling suethor jerking it to their own character, who has to have their perfect dream life.

A Whole Lot of Nothing: 25

Bad Writing: 70

Sues Run the World: 49

When Daya claims they’re gonna make Addie look hot and find her a—and I quote—“delicious man” who’ll kill her stalker if he shows up, Addie just rolls her eyes and says that it’s tough to find a man who can even fuck right, let alone one who’ll “kill in [her] honor.”

Daya laughs and says that “crazier things have happened.”

A thorn-less rose image break accompanies the section break, where we open up on them in a club, where Addie describes the bass as “vibrating” through her body. We’re treated to a painfully detailed fanficesque description of her outfit, which consists of “black, ripped skinny jeans” that she says clings to her curves, and how her “low cut red tank” has a plunging neckline which shows off her “ample cleavage” and the “small glistening beads of sweat” there. Hello, wattpad.

Bad Writing: 72

She claims the club’s “hotter than Hades’s ballsack” and proceeds to tell us how she and Daya have “[stuck] close.” But, hark, there’s a “heavy presence” against her back and a random man’s holding her waist, giving her a “whiff of spearmint and whiskey.”

Act Your Age: 22

Bad Writing: 73 (For the weird Hades ballsack comment.)

Boundaries? What’re Those: 12

Don’t worry, guys! It’s not creepy to get groped by a man in a club because, when she turns after he calls her beautiful, she finds not an ugly man but an attractive one, with “strawberry blonde hair, pretty blue eyes, and a killer smile,” which she says is just her type.

Do I Dazzle You: 7

Raging Hypocrisy: 18

Despite being flattered, she says that “social situations nearly send [her] into hibernation” but that she’s always been adept with flirting, though most of the time a lot of men who’ve approached her apparently have a “unique way of killing [the] mood.”

Twilite: 25 (For the social anxiety reminding me of Bella.)

He’s assertive, telling her to come upstairs with him, and she admits she likes it. But she loves being bratty so she challenges him, asking what happens if she doesn’t. I like Arch, to be frank, and I find him a hell of a lot more enjoyable and sensual than Zade the Rapist. He just grins at her and says she’ll “regret it for the rest of [her] life.” She asks him what kind of plans would result in that, and he tells her “the kind that leaves you naked and sated in my bed.”

Daya’s already made up her mind and is impatiently waiting, rolling her eyes and remarking how “[Addie] doesn’t go anywhere without me.” They head upstairs to the VIP section, where the vibe is “darker, denser” and makes her “instincts [flare] red.” And, as if we didn’t get the picture, she says it feels akin to popping her head in a hornet’s nest and how they don’t stop singing until they get tired or you’re dead.

Hand Holding: 29

Of course, everything in the VIP section—the booths, the table, etc—are black and Addie, of fucking course, says it reminds her of home. That’s exactly what I want when I go out to a club.

Sues Run the World: 51

There’s four men, one who’s obviously related to Addie’s mystery man but she describes him as “[looking] eerily similar” and how the relative’s “younger and a tad more wicked.” The other three are “equally handsome,” and we’re told in detail about some pasty blonde European—Addie’s descriptor, not mine—who watches Daya, “tracing the dips and curves of her body hungrily.” Addie says that her spiking instincts tell her to “pop the man’s eyes out and throw them over the balcony” and moves on to describe the last two men—twins—is brief detail after waxing poetry about the other men, who’re all white presumably. The twins are described as having “killer bodies” and “tanned skin, dark hair and eyes.” The only difference between them is the usual with male twins that the author’s jerking it to: one has long hair and the other has a buzzcut.

Addie says that all four could “easily ruin [her] life” and how she’d be “hesitant to stop them.”

Literally, that’s only because they’re conventionally attractive, considering how she’s harped about the handsomeness for the last four paragraphs at least. Am I on Wattpad? (I love Wattpad but find I have to pick through works I hate to find ones I do, often with clunky writing, bad dialogue, an obsession with looks, abuse masquerading as sex appeal and love, you know—like Twilight, Fifty Shades, After, and their ilk…or, rather, now that I look at the list, like a lot of very prominent Booktok picks.)

Mystery Man’s obvious relative laughs, remarking how Mystery Man “finally grew [some] balls and got her,” and Addie says he’s the only one “[not] eye-fucking [them.]” I don’t see the issue, considering she goes on to yammer about “[his] dark, [unsettling] aura” that makes her inclined to believe he’d find “eating babies for dinner” more exciting.

Edge Lord of Darkness: 31

Smells Like Misogyny: 71

Bad Writing: 73

Then she says the exact opposite of someone who I think when the idea of cannibalism comes upwhen she finds out his name is Connor and saying he looks it: “The frat boy that hangs around unoccupied drinks and sneaks his phone under girls’ skirts to take pictures.” So which is it, Addie—baby-eater or sex-crimes frat boy? I don’t believe they can be one in the same, but there’s always a first for that, I suppose.

Mystery Man apologizes for his brother’s crudeness and offhandedly introduces the rest of the crew, describing the twins as “the twins, Landon and Luke” and I’m sorry but I hate when it’s siblings or twins or any other family members with either similar-sounding (I knew a set of twins in high school with one letter off) or same beginning letter names.

Addie looks at her companion with an “expectant brow raised,” and I don’t know how an eyebrow can be expectant. Yes, I’m being pedantic and I don’t care.

Bad Writing: 74

We’re—or, rather, Addie is—introduced to “Archibald Talaverra III” and the woman, little Miss A-Name-Fit-For-a-Goddess, calls his name “pretentious.” She continues to harp on this man’s name, wondering “who actually introduces themselves to a stranger that way” and thinks that makes her think of royalty, sniping at him inside her head and calling him, pretty immaturely, his “Royal Highn-ass.”

Act Your Age: 23

Raging Hypocrisy: 19

Connor laughs and Arch starts to say something but, in her own words, she “[cuts] him off” by introducing herself and Daya, who’s stare is “sharp and assessing.” We’re treated to a random aside about how she’s “too keen and intelligent” to “get sucked into danger,” unlike Addie. It’s this funny little thing called self-preservation and having instincts. Weren’t you just a page previous yammering about how you’d wanted to *checks notes* pop a man’s eyes out and throw them over the balcony for checking Daya out. And that’s despite the fact that Arch over here started this night by grinding his dick into your ass and touching you without your explicit permission or consent, which was only found sexy because he’s handsome.

You’re A Moron: 59

On and on she goes, talking about how Max, Landon, and Logan haven’t “looked away from her” since she stepped foot. Addie talks about “every bit of [her]” wants to protect Daya from their “prying, feral eyes” but backs down because Daya “can handle her own.”

I’d to explain the first count. Daya, as told to us by Layla in the prequel spin-off Satan’s Affair, refers to her as a Black woman explicitly. She’s in a room, outnumbered by men she doesn’t know, a situation that can get very, very sticky for a woman very quickly, and Addie—instead of acknowledging how quick things could turn—shows a sliver of concern then tells herself not to worry because Daya can handle herself. As if Daya’s just so Tough, she doesn’t need protection, which comes across as denying a Black woman softness. Addie, by comparison, of course needs protection because she’s a little baby damsel in distress.

Don’t Be Racist: 15

Raging Hypocrisy: 20

Addie and co take a seat and she gets a text from an unknown number, which reads as follows: “Sneaking off with random men, little mouse? If I catch his hands anywhere near you, they’ll end up in your mailbox by morning.” That’s a direct threat, one that causes her “heart [to] still in [her] chest” in sheer terror and shock, and she wonders where her stalker is and “how the hell did he get [her] number.” Then she says how that’s a “stupid question” and that he’s a “fucking stalker,” so of course he has “[her] number.”

Twilite: 26 (For her getting angry he doesn’t know she doesn’t have a mailbox, which feels like a Bella move.)

You’re A Moron: 60

Arch snags her attention with “a smile on his face” and a drink, and she says that obviously he “thinks he’s getting laid tonight,” which normally he might’ve. But, as she tells us, she might “have to save his life” by staying away.

One rose transition and an hour later, Addie’s definitely letting “Arch’s hands touch [her],” with one between her legs, “dangerously close to [her] center” and she stares at the tattoo on his thumb, imagining how it’ll look not attached to the rest of him. And yet she “[lets] it happen,” even after Zade’s threat. And she yammers about it at length, saying she can’t stop “imagining [Arch’s hands] chopped off at the wrist and bloody” in her mailbox, which she says she doesn’t have. Then she gets pissed because Zade apparently is a “shitty little shadow” because he doesn’t know she doesn’t have a mailbox.

Sin Thy Ass Off: 39

You’re A Moron: 61

Arch, noticing her tension, asks if she’s having fun and she only “[nods] absently” as she “[traps] [her] lip beneath [her] teeth.” It should be between, not beneath. But she admits she “should run” and how she “should tell this man to get his hand off of [her] if only it means it’ll never be severed from his body and left in [her] nonexistent mailbox.” What a clunky sentence and immaturity about the mailbox. How am I supposed to take anything seriously if this is the level of writing? She comes across so young and juvenile.

Twilite: 27 (For the lip bite.)

Sin Thy Ass Off: 40

Bad Writing: 75

When Arch remarks about her being tense, she gets another text, which causes “color [to] leech from [her] face” and the concern Arch gives her “reminds [her] of that poor man.” He asks if shes’ okay, but she’s “growing tired of the concerned looks” that “feel like lifelines” regardless of her frustration. She goes on a tangent about if she goes missing, how the news will ask Arch about her and he’ll explain how spooked she seemed from a message. And how the construction worker she’d scared will talk about how she’d almost fallen off the cliff but seemed to contemplate jumping.

Even with all that, she says it “won’t change anything for the next girl that’s being stalked” and how it “never does.” She says that, in the end, she’ll end up a statistic that’ll disappear, describing it as “a beautiful girl stalked by an unhinged man” and how no one helped until it was too late. I’m not a big fan of the emphasis on beauty as if it’s somehow less tragic if the victim’s considered ugly or average.

Do I Dazzle You: 8

She claims she’s fine with a “stilted smile” that feels “wooden and disingenuous” but it does the trick and Arch “relaxes.” Or, rather, she says that he’s “just letting it go because he doesn’t actually care.” Hello again, Bella. Why does she insist that none of these people truly care?

Twilite: 28

Insufferable Bastards: 15

Edge Lord of Darkness: 32

Arch asks, “his voice full of promise and intent,” if she wants to leave and describes him biting his lip as “primal.” She tells us the word no is like “a little ballerina dancing precariously at the tip [of her tongue,] dangerously close to falling off and breaking her ankle.”

Bad Writing: 76

Do I Dazzle You: 9

Devil’s Tango: 8

She says that if she declines, she’ll “spend the rest of [her] night—week—possibly longer, regretting it.” She’ll “hate [herself]” for letting Zade win and “rob [her] of a good time with a delicious man,” who she describes as “beautiful” with “a shade of [enticing, mouth-watering chocolate cake] darkness.” She knows she’d be “entirely satisfied” if she spent the night with him and asks herself “what if it evolves into more” and worries that she’d be “saying not to something beautiful.”

She describes these thoughts as a “little girl’s hopes and dreams” and how she can see herself settling down with Arch, who’s just “dangerous enough to keep [her] excited.” Then she agrees because she’s an idiot and has no sense of danger but makes sure Daya gets home safely.

Act Your Age: 24

Arch’s smile is “[salacious]” as he agrees.

Do I Dazzle You: 10

Gigi’s Letter #5 — July 7th, 1944

She starts by telling us that “Ronaldo likes to tease” as if I asked for the information. After Seraphina (aka Nana) and John leave the house, he directs her to “sit in [her] dining room chair,” which she does. Once there, his “fingers whisper” across her body but he doesn’t say anything when she talks, even as he “[bares] [her] breasts” and “pulls [her] [trousers] down” and she’s in her undergarments.

That’s Still Cheating: 3

Devil’s Tango: 9

She says that he “smiles” when he looks into her eyes and finds “excitement.” And yet—and yet, he “still denies” touching her where she desires, “[taunting] her.” Then he books it, and she says it “takes everything in [her]” to not beg him to stay and how she “won’t be able to control [herself]” for much longer.

That’s Still Cheating: 4

Complete with a tacky red lipstick kiss.

I don’t have much to add for this chapter, so onto the counts.

COUNTS FOR THE CHAPTER

ACT YOUR AGE: 24

A WHOLE LOT OF NOTHING: 25

BAD WRITING: 76

BOUNDARIES? WHAT’RE THOSE: 12

DEVIL’S TANGO: 9

DO I DAZZLE YOU: 10

DON’T BE RACIST: 15

EDGE LORD OF DARKNESS: 32

HAND HOLDING: 29

INSUFFERABLE BASTARDS: 15

RAGING HYPOCRISY: 29

SIN THY ASS OFF: 40

SMELLS LIKE MISOGYNY: 71

SUES RUN THE WORLD: 51

THAT’S STILL CHEATING: 4

Last Chapter

Contents

Next Chapter

Zade’s currently in a warehouse, hunting down sex traffickers, with an informant in his ear telling him about “five bodies…three on their six, four on their twelve.” He says that it won’t be hard because he’s so Badass and has the “perfect angle for a sniper shot.”

Insufferable Bastards: 7

Sues Run the World: 37

In a shocking turn of events, he compliments Jay, saying his “hacking skills are nearly as good as [Zade’s,]” but makes sure to let us know that’s only because he trained under Zade. And despite being in the middle of an active mission, we’re told all about how Zade started his organization, beginning as a “hacker” that exposed the governments and, after a time, what started out as hacking turned into systematic, vigilante killings.

Sues Run the World: 38

He says that once you “terminate” all the worker bees, the queen bee is apparently “weak and vulnerable.”

Unintentionally Hilarious: 4

Insufferable Bastards: 8

Bad Writing: 61

But eventually the workload became too much for Mr Do It Himself so he created an organization—aptly named Z, presumably because of his name and I find it exceptionally stupid and not creative in the slightest—recruiting hackers and mercenaries and opening up locations across the world. You now, his background sounds a lot like one of the stories chain restaurants often use to really sell their image.

Unintentionally Hilarious: 5

Insufferable Bastards: 9

As he creeps through the warehouse, he adds that he “[doesn’t] acknowledge Jay’s sentiment” because he “doesn’t need luck” and says that all he needs are two things he possess in “spades”—skills and patience.

Insufferable Bastards: 10

Unintentionally Hilarious: 10

He gets into a door that leads to the space that the sex traffickers are keeping a bunch of survivors in, and Zade can hear “muffled screams” and he has to fight not to Hulk Smash, too cool to “lose [his] shit” because he’s that much Better Than You.

Very Edward-coded of him, though I doubt Eddie boy’s ever swore in his life because he’s a very Good Mormon boy who remains chaste—except in fanfics where he’s depicted as a sexual god who has a Lot of Very Hot Sex.

Twilite: 23

Insufferable Bastards: 11

Zade describes how there’s cots crowded when he peeks into the room and how “each girl[’s] chained” and he gets mega mad because he squeezes his gun until his “hands go numb” and promptly withdraws his weapon. It’s “impossible” to tell if the trafficker will be “careless,” and he boasts how the men—because they’re all men, apparently and largely Hispanic or Spanish-speaking Brown men—“know the risk” if it’s found out one of the “girls [was] killed,” but he specifies virgins girls specifically. That completely discounts the variety of victims who are every-day people that aren’t young girls and those who’ve had sexual partners and everything in between, and how is that something you know exactly?

He creeps up on “three [stupid fucks,]” and it just “boggles” his big boy brain that he’s able to sneak up on people and they don’t even notice! How rude of them not to even feel you sneaking up behind them, which arguably makes things easier since that’ll mean less chance of the survivors getting hurt in the crossfire that might occur if they did. You’re shocked someone’s senses are dulled by things like drugs?

Insufferable Bastards: 12

Like the best spy ever to exist, he kills them all at once and he notes a few “girls who jump” but also notes how others “cry and hunker down” and how the girls who “stay silent” must be “desensitized.”

The shots, of course, alert the other traffickers, who open fire and one shot misses “his eye”which he says sends “chunks of concrete” in there that he “[rubs]” at to clear his vision. Chunks of concrete just flew into this man’s eye. Chunks and dust are not the same thing, Carlton.

Bad Writing: 62

Zade kills “[the] guy [that] comes barreling” at him and how he’s “dead” before he sees Zade, adding how the world will go on despite the “ugly motherfucker” he just killed. This is a running theme in this book, giving the people Zade kills generally considered unattractive traits, a very Bad People = Ugly rhetoric that I found tiresome in the School of Good and Evil and I find just as tiresome, if not more, in this.

This will lead into a new count for each instance of characters—mainly Zade and Addie—talking about horrible people and acting as if them being unattractive adds to their evilness.

The Bad & Not Beautiful: 1

Zade uses the man’s body as a meat shield but not before he get in another jab, remarking how there’s “bad breath” coming from the “rotting hole” in the man’s face. If he was shot just minutes ago, decomposition wouldn’t have set in so quick, and the sentence itself is so confusing I can’t tell if he means the man’s mouth or the gunshot wound.

The Bad & Not Beautiful: 2

Bad Writing: 63

Zade kills two more traffickers and drops the meat shield, saying he “got lucky” because this isn’t a movie and how “bullets can easily fly through bodies” and how usually he “[doesn’t] use other people for shields” unless absolutely necessary, because we needed to know that.

Insufferable Bastards: 13

Sues Run the World: 39

A Whole Lot of Nothing: 14

There’s a rise of noise, and it’s the survivors screaming and traffickers “[panicking],” and Zade says that he hears order of “kill the puta” which doesn’t lend any defense of how not racist this book is. Almost all the traffickers that Zade kills in this book are seen speaking another language, usually Spanish, or are out-right described as Hispanic or Mexican, which I find incredibly disgusting, because all the rich politicians that he has to rub elbows and make good with instead of just kill? Almost exclusively white men. So all the people who he does get to kill are Spanish-speaking or Brown men and the ones he doesn’t are white men…

Don’t Be Racist: 13

Bad Writing: 64

One of the traffickers makes demands, threatening to “kill [the] bitches” if Zade doesn’t comply, which he does but he absolutely hates how the traffickers only “keep [the girls] safe” to “ensure the product isn’t damaged.”Why does he keep acting like it’s exclusively women and girls that are victims and the traffickers are exclusively men? Also hate how he refers to the survivors as product. Also no shit the traffickers don’t really care about the survivors being hurt; they’re sex traffickers, dumb ass.

Hand Holding: 24

You’re A Moron: 58

He’s cool as a cucumber and smirks at the traffickers because he’s just so suave like that and notices that one of the men fits the description he’d been given of Fernando. He makes a big stink about Fernando’s scar, comparing it to someone taking a bread knife and sawing, as if he doesn’t have his own very obvious scar.

The Bad & Not Beautiful: 3

Raging Hypocrisy: 16

Don’t Be Racist: 14

As if being traffickers wasn’t enough, they’re also on crack, which I’d think wouldn’t be what these Epstein-like figures would want when dealing with something like sex trafficking but I guess not.

Fernando wants to know who sent him and waves his gun for “[emphasis]” which Zade is kind enough to tell us instead of allowing us to deduce. But considering the state of publishing, the cutting of public education and its resulting media literacy crisis, I’m not surprised.

Hand Holding: 25

Zade gets huffy at the idea that he works for somebody instead of being his own boss then Fernando fires into the air, which Zade tells us is an “[attempt] to scare [him.]” He’s smug about it since it only lends credence to him telling us that they’re all trigger-happy, but, of course, because he’s such a Badass, he “[doesn’t] flinch” and looks around the building, describing a table laden with weapons, ashtrays, empty beer cans and one more crack pipe as “perfect.”

Hand Holding: 27

Fernando calls him cabrón—which brings our Don’t Be Racist count to a grand total of 15 right now—and Zade continues to refer to him as “the man” in narration despite knowing he’s Fernando. He asks if he’s Fernando and claims he can “see the paranoia leaking into his eyes,” and proceeds to blow smoke up Fernando’s ass to get him to let down his guard. Zade’s disgusted because all Fernando’s doing is fodder material for “little boys’ and girls’ nightmares.” As opposed to Zade giving nightmares to just one woman?

Raging Hypocrisy: 17

Sick of this interaction, Zade shoots a trafficker through his “hoodie pocket” which means he’s wearing a hoodie while he’s hunting down sex traffickers. I was expecting tactical gear, you know, or something maybe military-esque, not a fucking hoodie.

Unintentionally Hilarious: 11

He uses a table to shield himself from the resulting open fire and he’s pissed at himself because a “gun falls” off the table and goes off, endangering the survivors. He’s “pissed at [himself]” but he doesn’t hear any “cries of pain” so he focuses on waiting since it’s “too dangerous” to fire back. Once he’s given an opening, he says that in the time they’re “[scrambling] to reload,” he kills them all sans Fernando, who he “[saves] for later.”

Sues Run the World: 40

He’s smug about it, going so far as to ask Jay, who’s watching through the cameras, if he saw it and Jay, of course, proceeds to jerk him off, complaining how it only took “eight minutes.” In the midst of these survivors hearing gunfire and possibly witnesses people being shot, they’re joking back and forth, acting like pricks, which doesn’t make me think they’re doing something admirable at all. Do you think the people who operate in the government with things just like sex trafficking crack jokes in the middle of an active bust while the survivors are right there, or make arrogant bets? Me thinks not.

When he turns his attention to Fernando, who’s “[scrambling] to find another gun,” Zade shoots him, describing him as an “angry man [that] [collapses] instantly” from the pain. He compared Fernando screaming in pain and anger to a “little girl” and then says that the survivors are “far tougher” than him, calling him a “whiny bitch that’s trapped in a man’s body. He “[enjoys] the sight of [Fernando] clutching his knee” and scans all the blood on the floor, not wanting the survivors—who he keeps referring to as girls—to walk through it.

Bad Writing: 65

Smells Like Misogyny: 64

Pet Monster: 12

He orders Jay to get Ruby—a “redheaded spitfire” who “turns to mush” around the survivors but he’s so Badass and Manly, he doesn’t apparently—to clear a path free of blood because he doesn’t even a drop on their toes.

Bad Writing: 66 (For the specification of toes.)

Smells Like Misogyny: 65 (Solely for Ruby who, of course, is super emotional around a bunch of traumatized survivors because she’s a woman and he isn’t so he doesn’t, as he puts it, ‘turn to mush.’)

There’s a girl who demands to know if Zade’s going to hurt them too, and he says she’s “smudged with dirt and blood,” as are all the others, saying she “can’t be older than fifteen” and tells us how “a pedophile ring will age anyone.” He says that based on her stance, she’s “pronounced herself the mother” of the others.

Smells Like Misogyny: 66

He tells us that all the survivors have been through “unspeakable torture and assault” that they’ll never heal from in the “past six days” since they were kidnapped. Six days, he continues, of “dirty men sexualizing, beating, and molesting” them and how they “[weren’t] deflowered” as if that’s a silver lining to all the trauma they’ve been thrust into but goes on to add how it didn’t stop the monsters.

Smell Like Misogyny: 68

Edge Lord of Darkness: 25

As if the survivors of things like this are defined by the trauma. Plenty of survivors heal and go on to lead normal lives and others don’t, which is perfectly fine, too. Also deflowered? Deflowered. That’s all I’m going to say to that.

Zade tells her he’s there to see them home and, when she gives him a wary look, he says that “none of [the girls] are going to trust [him],” and considering all the abuse and torment you just told us they all went through, I’m not surprised. He says he’s “scarred from head to toe” and, on top of having mismatched eyes and being tall, he shot a bunch of people in front of them, so it’s not surprising.

Edge Lord of Darkness: 29 (One for each trait he’s listed off. All he’s missing is my name is Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way.)

Insufferable Bastards: 14

As soon as his clean-up crew and back up arrive, he says that he “[winces]” at Ruby immediately complaining about all the bed and how he should be ashamed. When he tries to argue it was unavoidable, she says that if “[his] mother were here, she’d have [his] ass.”

Smells Like Misogyny: 69

He says he lets her “hem and haw” and “[mutter] reprimands” but doesn’t say anything because Ruby was his mother’s friend and apparently loves to remind everyone she helped care for him as a baby.

Smells Like Misogyny: 70

The crew starts to dispose of the bodies, which Zade wishes he “could’ve killed in private” and he and Ruby start freeing the survivors. He unlocks the girl from before, his hands “shaking from the fury” at the entire situation and her wounds.

When he looks into her eyes, he notes the “light brown” color and says how they remind him of his “little mouse” and what the actual fuck? He’s looking at a literal child sex trafficking survivor and thinking about thewoman he rapes and terrorizes on a REGULAR basis. But it’s okay, you guyz, because he only feels protective of this girl. Yet he goes on to rape Addie repeatedly and never feels an ounce of guilt over it…

He asks her name, she says Sicily, and he notes her “tanned skin” which makes him ask if that’s where her parents were from. She confirms it, giving him far too much background for him claiming how none of these survivors would trust him but I don’t hold it against her because she’s a literal child—one he just compared to the woman he rapes and stalks.

He asks if she’s “ready to give [her parents] a home again” and she cries and says yes. On the way out, Sicily in tow, he throws a fit at Ruby because a girl steps in blood and he wanted “not a drop of blood” on any of the survivors. Once Sicily’s in the medical transport van, he doesn’t stick around—the same control freak who doesn’t trust anyone to dispose the bodies of the people he kills or tortures to death—and you can guess why he’s quick to leave.

Addie.

You know, the woman he’s been terrorizing, assaulting, and raping. The same thing he looks his nose down on sex traffickers for doing.

His chapter closes with him saying his “hunt isn’t over” and how he has to “play with [his] little mouse.”

I hate him. I thought Edward Cullen and Hardin Scott were bad. I thought I’d read dumb FMCs with Bethany in Halo and Bella in Twilight.This book tries to convince you the MMC isn’t a horrible person like the pedophiles he hunts down are because he’s 1) hot, 2) focused only on Addie, and 3) is a vigilante that kills and hunts pedophiles. None of that negates the harm he causes to Addie. None of it. And nothing this book—or, to be frank, any book—will make me like a character that does heinous, awful shit to people and tries to say it's justified by some good thing he does. Good deeds don't negate harm caused, no matter what.

Let’s just do the counts.

COUNTS FOR THE CHAPTER

A WHOLE LOT OF NOTHING: 14

THE BAD & NOT BEAUTIFUL: 3

BAD WRITING: 66

DON’T BE RACIST: 15

EDGE LORD OF DARKNESS: 29

HAND HOLDING: 27

INSUFFERABLE BASTARDS: 14

PET MONSTER: 12

RAGING HYPOCRISY:

SMELLS LIKE MISOGYNY: 70

SUES RUN THE WORLD: 40

TWILITE:

UNINTENTIONALLY HILARIOUS: 11

Last Chapter

Contents

Next Chapter

Addie’s standing on the cliff, talking about a breeze that’s “urging [her] to jump” and worries she “[won’t] die right away” and how painful it might be, going on in morbid detail about it. There’s a good bit of albeism in her musing about if she’s ends up paralyzed for life, adding that all of those are “regrettable.”

But she’s interrupted by a man from a construction behind, remarking him as having a soft but decidedly paternal air about him that doesn’t threaten her (unlike Zaddy Zade obviously) and how “his eyes bounce” to the edge and she very quickly realizes he thinks she’ll jump, which he isn’t wrong to think because you’re literally imagining jumping and dealing with consequences of it, almost fantasizing in giddy detail about your demise because this book is so Dark and Deep and Gothic. But, even so, she “[doesn’t] move.”

Sues Run the World: 29

Bad Writing: 79

Edge Lord of Darkness:17

You’re A Moron: 52

He informs her the renovation crew for the dilapidated house are done for the day and heading out, and she goes on an asinine ramble about how Nana banned her from the cliff as a kid, describing the view from it as “breathtaking, especially when the sun sets” and adds how it’s “impossible” to see where it ends at night.

She says it’s late and the sun is setting, calling her house a “lonely piece of land in dark shadows” and how she’s straddling “life and death” in the most dramatic monologue as of yet in this novel. She adds, morosely, how if she isn’t careful, “[she] will [disappear], too.”

Edge Lord of Darkness: 23

Bad Writing: 82

Twilite: 18

When he asks if she’s okay, she backs up, towards the edge of the very life-and-death cliff whose danger she just waxed poetic over, apparently possessing not a single iota of self-preservation that should otherwise keep from that horrible fate she’s done nothing but metaphorically masturbate to for close to three pages. She immediately says that he “[wasn’t trying to] scare [her]” and how she’s probably scared the hell out him, finally stepping away from the edge. Then she looks back and sees just how close she’d been and “pure terror” engulfs her. And then she gets incredibly horny and tells the audience how “something is clearly wrong with [her.]” But how on edge is she if she’s getting horny at the thought of her own death? It also seems to pop up whenever necessary.

Devil’s Tango: 7

The last three weeks have been hell, which she proceeds to describe with paragraphs, telling us about she’s “[started] making reports” since red roses have been following her through the house. When she’d gotten out of the shower, her so-called masterpiece was gone and she describes the sensation of terror as “[being depleted] of any warmth in [her] body.” I believe the correct turn of phrase is ‘blood turned to ice.’

Bad Writing: 83

We get a brief moment of shitty reality shining through where Addie filed a report that same night but they’d “humored” her with filing a report and ultimately told her a rose wasn’t sufficient evidence. And how since then, it’s only escalated—finding roses in even stranger places like her car when she’d locked the doors upon exiting and they’d still been when she came back.

This is one of the few times Carlton gives us writing that isn’t over-the-top dramatics and the edginess of old teenage social media posts; it’s real and grounded within reality, where victims of stalking are dismissed by authorities until the stalker often times kills them.

She’s become hyper vigilant since the renovations began, telling us how “numerous people” have visited, all sorts of workers, and how, despite replacing “every single window” in addition to installing “brand new locks,” it hasn’t done shit. Her stalker “always [finds] a way” to leave her these unseemly and unsettling “presents,” though I use the term in the loosest fashion given the context.

She describes the way the workers react to her questioning a few as the way they’d look at her if she’d ask for crack, which is genuinely such a wild line that I know I’m supposed to take serious, it gets a new count all of its own.

Unintentionally Hilarious: 1

She waxes dramatic about how if she’d fallen, how the guy “would’ve [probably] blamed himself” and lists the ways she could’ve died, describing the rest of his life as full of “guilt” and she can’t bear the thought of what would become of him. It’s all very dramatic, so it’s going to get a she’s just like me because it’s all very millennial self-deprecation coded, it makes my eyes water. And it gets a twilite count, too because it sounds exactly like the kind of spiel Bella would give the audience.

She’s Just Like Me: 18

Twilite: 19

But it gets words because she describes how she’ll “cry [the second he leaves]” and how she could totally tell that he just “wants to leave” but he’s a kind person. And instead of thinking maybe he’s just that kind of individual, she adds that he could also want to make he’s “guilt-free” when he leaves.

She’s Just Like Me: 19

Twilite: 20

He asks if she needs him to call anyone, she acknowledges it “[looks] bad” but promises she isn’t going to jump and before he leaves, he mentions a bouquet of roses. She freaks out—rightfully—and starts to throw multiple questions and interrupts the worker before he can explain, saying how he “definitely thinks [she’s] a nutcase” when he pulls a face.

Hand Holding: 17

You’re A Moron: 53

She waits until he’s gone to go back round the front, citing it how “weird” it would’ve felt if they’d both left at the same time, describing it as “two people heading the same direction that have no interest in talking to each other” that apparently gives her the “heebie jeebies.” Ah, yes, she absolutely sounds like a twenty-six-year-old woman and not a teenager from an old sitcom. But does that mean she feels weird walking on the sidewalk? Sitting on the subway or train with strangers, if applicable to this small town?

Bad Writing: 84

She’s Just Like Me: 20

In the midst of her mounting terror, she takes the time to tell us how “beautiful” the new porch looks, which is black of course, and the exterior is, of course, “still all black.” She tells us she’s kept the “vines and clean the gargoyles” and how the chipped stone only “adds character.”

Sues Run the World: 36

We’re treated to a very Twilight-esque line of particularly bad writing, considering this is first person and this book would probably serve a lot better in third. “Then my eyes jump to the bouquet…”

Bad Writing: 85

Twilite: 21

She scans the property, more than a little frightened, and heads inside, discovering a “single black card” with a message that she can’t decide if she truly wants to read or not. It’s a simple message, giving little away while managing to drip with condescension and misogyny. I’ll be seeing you soon, little mouse.

For dithering and being so torn up about it and acting like she’ll die if she doesn’t read it:

You’re A Moron: 56

For the condescension I can smell wafting off the screen:

Smells Like Misogyny: 20

Insufferable Bastards: 5

Pet Monster: 11

And she’s immediately pissed, ranting to herself about how her stalker “must be cracked in the fucking head” and how disgusted—or offended—she is at the dumb nickname he’s given her.

Unintentionally Hilarious: 2

Then she dials the police and admits she’s “not naive enough” to believe they’ll be able to save her from what she describes dramatically as a “shadow” attaching itself to her, but she says shell be damned if she dies an unsolved mystery.

We’re given a rose transition and I can’t tell at first if it’s later that same night or if a few days have passed. But we’re treated to someone knocking on the door, which makes Addie “heart skip a few beats.” She idiotically says that anxiety at the slightest noise can’t possibly be healthy and thinks about eating some Cheerios, remarking how the commercials claim they’re “good for the heart.”

Unintentionally Hilarious: 3

She groans, saying she “[wants] to be relieved” it isn’t her stalker and says she’s only “a little sad” it’s not him. It’s her mother, “Sarina Reilly,” as Addie tells us begrudgingly, with her “blonde hair” in an up-do, “[her thin lips painted pink],” and then describes her eyes as “icy blue.”It’s giving amateur fanfiction writer on Wattpad. Why are we given her mother’s full name? But the entire sentence structure might need to be changed because I understand the description but it’s clunky as all get and it feels as if there’s missing words. I would’ve worded it like this: Her blonde hair’s tucked tightly into a chignon and her thin lips are garishly pink, which off-sets the icy look in her pale-blue eyes.

Bad Writing: 58

Mommy Issues: the Snyder Cut: 34

Smells Like Misogyny: 21

She adds to the last count by complaining about how “prim and proper” Sarina is compared to her who “so…[isn’t]” because she “[slumps] and [sits] with her legs open.” They snipe a bit at one another until Sarina comes in and Addie mentions her Chanel perfume, because of course, Sarina wears Chanel. It’s like the most known perfume companies and often suethors like to name drop them because it tells the reader immediately what to think of this character—rich, snooty, usually unpleasant to be around.

Mommy Issues: the Snyder Count: 40

Smells Like Misogyny: 27

She’s Just Like Me: 26

Hand Holding: 23

Sarina “grew up” in the house and Addie says the “darkness” of it must’ve infested her. Then she snipes about Sarina “[getting] wrinkles” on the way deeper into the house and Sarina “huffs” and her heels are the only sound as she sits on the couch.

Mommy Issues: the Snyder Cut: 35

Smells Like Misogyny: 48

Addie whines about she wanting Sarina to leave because she’s tots killing her vibes and we get more misogyny and mommy issues with how Sarina “[sitting] daintily” and how she’s on the edge of cushion. She also thinks how if she’s poked, Sarina would “fall off.”

Mommy Issues: the Snyder Cut: 30

Smells Like Misogyny: 52

Sarina sighs just as dramatically as Addie, who describes her tone as “high and mighty,” and further demonstrates just how bad their relationship is by adding how it’s been the “backdrop” of her childhood, filled with “disappointment and met expectations.” Don’t you mean unmet expectations? She tacks how she “never [disappoints] in disappointing” her mother.

Bad Writing: 59

Mommy Issues: the Snyder Cut: 32

Smells Like Misogyny: 54

Addie asks why Sarina’s there, Sarina acts affronted, then Addie turns to the audience to explain her bad relationship as if every interaction with Sarina in this entire book isn’t essentially them hating one another and not doing any kind of work to grow from it. She says how she and her mom were never close because she was “bitter” over Addie and Nana’s relationship and how Addie has chosen Nana over Sarina. In return, she grew to “[resent]” her mother because she felt as if she couldn’t and how, if she had, she’d have been rewarded with a body shaming remark. Then says Sarina would complain about Addie butt “[getting] too fat,” which is exactly what she’d want. But to this day, Sarina “still doesn’t understand” Addie’s dislike of her.

Mommy Issues: the Snyder Cut: 39

Smells Like Misogyny: 59

Throwing herself into a rocking chair, which gets a twilite count because it violently threw me back to Bella’s bedroom, Addie demands to know if Sarina there to “try and convince [her]” that she’s “wasting [her] life away” in the manor. She says it’s the “same one [her] great-grandmother and [her] tend to get stalked in,” and I’m not entirely sure if she means the rocking chair or the stool because both are mentioned before that line.

Bad Writing: 60

Twilite: 22

We get whiplash because sitting in the chair makes her think about last night’s unsettling note and the two lackluster questions the cop asked and she blithely says that if she “[ends] up dead in a ditch,” at least they’ll know it was “foul play.” Sarina admits she had an open house close, Addie thinks, ah, of course, she wouldn’t come by just to see me, then Sarina asks if she wants to know why, exactly, Parsons should be torn down.

Mommy Issues: the Snyder Cut: 59

Smells Like Misogyny: 60

Sarina says it’s “because a lot of people died” within the house and Addie immediately starts romanticizing the construction workers that died in the fire, saying how she just “[knows]” their spirits are lingering. Sarina agrees but adds that it wasn’t “just them” for maximum dramatics and stares Addie down while Addie says her “hesitance worsens.”

In the midst of asking who else died, Addie notices Sarina’s “shiny black Lexus” that she says is so “shmancy that it almost seems mocking,” which feels extra ironic considering Addie lives in a mansion with no roommates or family and is obviously well-off, considering how she’s hired a renovation team and doesn’t once remark about finances or a strain on them. She adds how Sarina’s job as a real estate agent “pays well” and how she’d wanted to be a stay-at-home mother but it didn’t work out due to the “turmoil of [their] relationship” so she threw herself into work instead. She’s “proud of [Sarina’s] accomplishments” and only wishes Sarina felt the same about hers.

Act Your Age: 21

Mommy Issues: the Snyder Cut: 62

Raging Hypocrisy: 15

Sarina drops the bombshell that Addie calls “life-changing” without preamble: the other death that occurred was Gigi, who was murdered in the house. Addie says Gigi “was [Nana’s] entire world” and how she’d asked only once about Gigi’s passing and how Nana had “closed down” and refused to say anything else. She’d assumed it was still painful for Nana and says it “hadn’t occurred to [her] that Gigi’s death was tragic.”

We’re told that’s why Nana was obsessed with the manor and how she’d been young when Gigi was murdered. When she says her great-grandfather tried to leave, he described Nana as “[throwing] the world’s biggest temper tantrum” that ultimately had him staying. Addie makes a face at the insult and Sarina adds it was “[her] grandpa’s words” and how the minute she was old enough, he left the house to her and left.

Mommy Issues: the Snyder Cut: 63

Addie stays quiet and stares out the window, where a storm’s brewing and how it “matches [her] mood perfectly.” Sarina wants to know her thoughts and Addie shakes her head, shocked to her core, rendered mute by the news. While Addie still doesn’t say anything, when Sarina opens up a bit, she doesn’t miss the opportunity to insult her, citing Sarina as “not a liar…but [not] empathetic, either.”

Mommy Issues: the Snyder Cut: 64

Smells Like Misogyny: 61

Sarina describes her father as “never comfortable” at the idea of raising her in that house, especially after what happened, but “Nana insisted.” She says that Nana loved Gigi but wasn’t capable of letting the house go, saying it’s “cursed” and how she doesn’t want to see Addie go down the same road.

And you’d think her mother unexpectedly opening up would inspire some sort of reaction in Addie but she only thinks about Gigi and if she was killed by her stalker, describing him as a man who would “come into her home and do unspeakable things” and adds that they were things she fought against but wanted anyway. She wonders if it was him, “playing [Gigi]” and using her attraction to his advantage.

Addie completely disregards anything but the whole “your great-grandmother was murdered and your grandmother was obsessed with this house” tidbit, and I really get why Sarina and Addie have such a wrought relationship. She acts like her mother didn’t just open up about something very tragic, a sore point in the family history.

She asks if they ever caught the killer and when Sarina shakes her head, Addie describes how her lipstick “[cracks]” and how they extend “far deeper.” She says that Sarina’s “been broken,” but she could never figure out why.

Mommy Issues: the Snyder Cut: 65

Smells Like Misogyny: 62

Apparently, Gigi was murdered in her bedroom, which was also Nana’s room, and now, as Sarina adds, “and now [Addie’s.]” Addie says that she’s “not wrong” and tells us how, despite it being renovated, she’s kept some hand-me-downs in the bedroom. She says that being in the same four walls as a murder as “chilling” but not enough to make her move or even change rooms. If it “makes [her] a freak” so be it, saying it’d only make her fit in the family more.

Edge Lord of Darkness: 24

Sin Thy Ass Off: 37

You’re A Moron: 57

The whole Gigi and her stalker story feels repeated with Addie, who says she’d “never be so stupid” to fall for her own stalker the way Gigi did.

Smells Like Misogyny: 63

Sarina leaves but not before she says that she “[hopes] [Addie] [makes] the right decision” and says it’s dangerous here, and it isn’t until she’s all alone in the “big, cursed house” that she thinks back to her stalker’s ominous note.

Gigi’s Letter #4 — May 25th, 1944

Gigi says that her “visitor spoke” to her and how she’d been so shocked when he did, describing his voice as “deep…alluring.” She asks why he keeps showing up, and he confesses his love and desire for her.

Do I Dazzle You: 6

His name is Ronaldo, which she says is “interesting but [suiting.]” He leaves quickly after but not before he assaults her with a kiss. Gigi’s ashamed though not because the assault from her stalker but because she says she doesn’t even “consider John” and how her thoughts had only been of Ronaldo and his kiss, the one she says “flew [her] into the stars.”

That’s Still Cheating: 2

She ends the entry saying she hasn’t come back down yet, but I find I have no sympathy considering she’s had every chance to tell her husband about her very unwanted stalker. John’s behavior changes but only after she’s started her affair with Ronaldo and this pathetic book tries desperately to justify it. To me, John at this point feels like a man being gaslit when he knows something’s going on with his wife.

COUNTS FOR THE CHAPTER

ACT YOUR AGE: 21

BAD WRITING: 22

DO I DAZZLE YOU: 6

EDGE LORD OF DARKNESS: 24

HAND HOLDING: 23

INSUFFERABLE BASTARDS: 5

MOMMY ISSUES: THE SNYDER CUT: 65

PET MONSTER: 11

RAGING HYPOCRISY: 15

SHE’S JUST LIKE ME: 20

SIN THY ASS OFF: 37

SMELLS LIKE MISOGYNY: 63

SUES RUN THE WORLD: 36

THAT’S STILL CHEATING: 2

TWILITE: 22

UNINTENTIONALLY HILARIOUS: 3

Last Chapter

Contents

Next Chapter

The first words of this chapter make me wanna smack Daya senseless. Her remark? Calling Addie’s Nana a freak because she owned…lacy underwear. Which apparently isn’t a normal thing anymore? Regardless, it’s getting five points for each paragraph dedicated to Daya being inappropriate while she and Addie clean out Nana’s things.

Act Your Age: 17

You’re A Moron: 36

Addie, despite the closeness with her grandmother, is only “perturbed” at Daya’s callousness and when she’s asked to stop, Daya rolls her eyes and apparently mimics an orgasm, though Addie says it looks more like an “exorcism” to her. I hate them equally so they each get an act your age and a you’re a moron point.

Act Your Age: 18

You’re A Moron: 37

When Addie mentions the ghost of Nana witnessing Daya’s bad behavior, the disrespect stops and is immediately replaced with terror because, apparently, the idea of the supernatural freaks Daya out, complaining how Addie “[knows] how to sober a bitch up” and she leaves, happy about getting her supposed best friend to stop “waving [her] grandmother’s crusty underwear.”

You’re A Moron: 39

She has this to say about Daya:

[Daya] knows damn well that she’s beautiful, which is why I tend to tease her about being the opposite. Someone’s gotta humble the sexy bitch every once in a while. She’ll get too big for this Earth if I don’t.

Bad Writing: 67

Don’t Be Racist: 12

Smells Like Misogyny: 19

You’re A Moron: 40

This reeks of “I need to be the prettiest in the room so I need to humble this Black woman.” And, besides, what does too big for this Earth mean? Maybe it was supposed to be her head or ego? And why is it Addie’s job to humble her best friend? Aren’t friends supposedto hype you up, not tear you down?

Anyway, Addie makes her way into the kitchen and she’s stopped dead in her tracks in the middle of making more alcoholic drinks. Why has she stopped so abruptly, you may ask? Because, on the island, is an “empty whiskey glass” and there’s a “single red rose” beside it. And she recognizes the “single drop” as her grandfather’s whiskey, but we’re never told how.

She circles her unwelcome presents, describing them as a “slumbering python [that] could snap and bite [her] at any moment” and, upon picking up the glass, inspects it as if—her own words—it’s “a Magic 8 Ball and going to reveal the person who drank out of it.”

Bad Writing: 68

Hand Holding: 16

And even though she’s alone, she’s still “looking for the person who snuck into [her] house, grabbed a glass and a bottle of whiskey, and proceeded to have a drink” and proceeds to stomp to the front door, checking it and finding it locked.

Bad Writing: 70

Any possible tension is broken by Daya shouting “where’s my drink, bitch? I’m hearing whispers and shit.” And Addie wonders a whole host of things, describing herself as “one of those dumb bitches you see in slasher flicks” and she wonders if she wants to be the “stupid girl” who doesn’t run out the house or call for help. We already know that you are, Addie.

Bad Writing: 72

Sin Thy Ass Off: 26

She dons the “dumb bitch role,” grabs a knife, and when her search of the house turns up nothing—claiming she doesn’t want to freak Daya out, which infuriates me on sheer principle—she loops back to the kitchen, rips the petals from the rose, and crams them into the empty glass, proudly claiming it as a “little masterpiece” for her stalker.

Edge Lord of Darkness: 16

Sin Thy Ass Off: 27

You’re A Moron: 42

I’m beginning to realize not only is she fucking stupid, but Addie’s a horrible friend, since she chooses to keep Daya in the dark about possible danger. How is this your supposed best friend—calling your dead grandmother a freak for lacy underwear aside—and you refuse to tell her about the whiskey and rose?

One rose transition later, Daya says that she’s “scared” for Addie after she deigns to tell Daya about the unwelcome gifts. I also have to ask how they made the trip to Goodwill as Addie describes it because they both were drinking. They could’ve gotten a ride but it’s never mentioned, so I guess they’re drinking and driving.

The whole “drinking but no mention of ride share” gets a point because she hand holds us for things we don’t need to be but ignores glaring logic failures.

Bad Writing: 73

Addie even says that it took her “a few more mixed drinks” to get the courage to tell Daya about the unwelcome gift and she cites it as being “wrong” to keep it from her…even though she’d already done that for the better part of the day.

Sin Thy Ass Off: 28

Daya freaked—as any sane person would—but Addie refuses to budge, tired of “[her] parents, namely [her] mother, and now some sick fucker who gets off on being a creep”trying to force her out the house. That’s only two people but the way she describes it, it might as well be hordes of zombies trying to break down her door. Then she calls herself “scared, but stupid.”

Sin Thy Ass Off: 29

Mommy Issues: the Snyder Cut: 33

You’re A Moron: 43

When she refuses to let Daya stay the night and claims she’s not going to put her friend in danger, Daya’s response is probably the only time I like her—she asks if it’s soooooo dangerous, why is Addie staying?

Addie says that she “can’t explain it” and then proceeds to describe it as “letting them win” but we’re not told who they are—the mother she hates or the new stalker encroaching on her life? It also feels like a cop out to say “yeah, I know this is stupid and dangerous but I can’t explain it!”

You’re A Moron: 44

She repeats that she can’t explain why she feels the need to “stick it out” and to show her stalker she’s “not scared” and then proceeds to say that last one’s a “big fat fucking lie.” She goes on about being terrified and stubborn and stupid.

Sin Thy Ass Off: 35

You’re A Moron: 49 (Six points for each line.)

While she tries to reassure Daya, she wonders how it is she’s quaking in her boots over public spaces and social settings but she’s brave (or stupid) enough to stay when someone’s breaking into her house, brushing it aside as it “doesn’t make sense” to herself.

Sin Thy Ass Off: 36

Bad Writing: 74

You’re A Moron: 50

Daya proceeds to be my least favorite character with her me, me, me response, complaining about if Addie dies, the “rest of [her] life will be ruined” and how it’ll affect her so much and how she’ll be plagued by guilt and misery. She even ponders about “dragging the bitch” out by her hair to save her life and Addie only frowns, self-conscious about how long it took to grow out.

Bad Writing: 77

There’s some more back and forth and then she leaves and Addie heads for the bathroom for a shower, bringing a knife with her, and remarks how if her stalker interrupts her, she’ll “be happy to stab them.”

Bad Writing: 78

Gigi’s Letter #3 — May 16th, 1944

The opening for this diary entry has me rolling my eyes so hard, counting the grooves in my brain matter would be more entertaining. Gigi complains that “John has been questioning [her]” and doesn’t seem to feel the least bit guilty about lying to his face. Of course, he’s “suspicious” and she knows he’s “[noticed] a change in [her] behavior.”

You’re A Moron: 51

No shit he’s suspicious; you aren’t even trying to be stealthy with your affair, Gigi.

She can’t deny how she’s changed since her stalker showed up, who she says still “hasn’t spoken” and refuses to, no matter “how many times” she pleads to know his name or intentions or their connection.

There’s no even an ounce of guilt as she says that she’s so desperate, she’s “[begun] to offer him things” like kissing her or touching her. He never takes it though and leaves her “wanting for the next time.”

Devil’s Tango: 6

A lipstick kiss seals the pages detailing the affair. And speaking of affairs, a new count where the book tries to justify it.

That’s Still Cheating: 1

COUNTS FOR THE CHAPTER

ACT YOUR AGE: 18

BAD WRITING: 78

DEVIL’S TANGO: 6

DON’T BE RACIST: 12

EDGE LORD OF DARKNESS: 16

HAND HOLDING: 16

MOMMY ISSUES: THE SNYDER CUT: 33

SIN THY ASS OFF: 36

SMELLS LIKE MISOGYNY: 19

THAT’S STILL CHEATING: 1

Last Chapter

Contents

Next Chapter

We start with a line that I keep thinking when I read this book: “This isn’t how I imagined I’d spend my Friday night.” She’s digging around in the hole Greyson left and dramatically narrates the fear of dying via man-eating squirrel, claiming how “this is stupid” and how she’s “stupid” for it—AKA inspecting the gap between the walls. She just can’t resist, describing it as a “deep vibration” in her bones and how her “fingers buzz,” just calling to her like a siren song.

Sin Thy Ass Off: 11

You’re A Moron: 22

She recycles Greyson’s insult, remarking how if she “couldn’t get [her hole] stuffed tonight, [she] might as well get [her] action this way” as she searches the gap until she discovers a “glint, just the barest hint” and finds it behind a framed black-and-white photo of her great-grandmother, Gigi, who has her own book that tells us all about her Grand Love Story with her stalker, Ronaldo, but it’s okay because her husband, John, became a drunk rapist to justify her cheating.

Act Your Age: 24

Bad Writing: 46

Addie discovers a safe, “army green, old, with a mere dial for the lock” and describes the excitement that “burns” in her lungs. That…sounds like a medical problem, girl. Excitement shouldn’t burn; it should tingle, making you shiver. It gets an extra point for a missing hyphen.

Bad Writing: 48

You’re A Moron: 23

Addie’s internal dialogue consists of her feeling judged by the pictures of her ancestors, remarking about how they “look down on [her] extremely questionable decisions” and then we get whiplash with a stupid nothing burger of a scene where she describes how her “blood [turns] to ice” because there’s an abrupt “cold breeze.” She briefly Googles how to break open a safe and, after finding a few convenient forums, is able to get in, but not before we’re told all about how the garage was used for “generations of junk.”

This leads us into our a whole lot of nothing count, where the narration breaks to give us background information that isn’t necessary right now.

A Whole Lot of Nothing: 2

Bad Writing: 56

Addie discovers three leather-bound journals that has been her great-grandmother’s and proceeds to read them, remarking how she’d been right and it “[was] a diary” and how each entry has “feminine script.” She then yammers about how Gigi passed before her birth and how Nana relayed often regaled her with tales of her mother, and proceeds to spend all night poring over the pages, describing each entry as “more [disturbing]” than the last. I think Carlton forgot the disturbing parts though.

Bad Writing: 59

You’re A Moron: 24

A Whole Lot of Nothing: 4

After a generous rose transition of a scene break, she wakes up to a thump and describes being startled away as “being ripped from a deep, persistent fog that lingers” and I’d argue it’s like a shock to the heart, a jolt of panic and fear so intense you’re on high alert in an instant of ice-cold. But I digress.

Bad Writing: 60

She waits while her “brain catches up with what [she] heard” and she’s petrified until she eventually creeps out of bed. She’s “wide awake” because she’s knows “someone was just inside” and wonders if it’s coincidental as she ventures out her room. Any tension Carlton might’ve mounted is immediately unraveled because Addie says that she needs “the Tin Man to oil the hinges on [her] door just as much as [she needs] the Lion’s bravery” and I have no fucking clue what she means by this.

Bad Writing: 60

You’re A Moron: 25

The lights “flicker” and she complains the creepy eyes of the framed pictures, yammering about them “watching [her] make yet another stupid mistake” and how her own thoughts—the last ones—has her literally “gasping and turning around” even though she knows there’s nothing. She undercuts any tension by saying that “one second no one is there, and the next second hello, there’s [her] murderer. No fucking thank you.”

She’s Just Like Me: 6

Bad Writing: 61

You’re A Moron: 26

She does a sweep through the house and enters the kitchen and she’s stopped dead in her tracks. Because on the counter top is a “single red rose” and she tells us all about how she stares at it lie it’s a “live tarantula” and she drones on about how the damn thing will “surely eat [her] alive.”

You’re A Moron: 27

Bad Writing: 62

And instead of allowing us any kind of space to deduce anything for ourselves, she holds our hands and says, upon noticing the rose’s thorns have been clipped, how she has the “strangest inclination it was done purposely to save [her] fingers from being pricked” and decides that’s just crazy. Despite the fact someone interrupted her and Greyson the other night, and she lives in the middle of the nowhere. In the woods, to boot.

Hand Holding: 15

After she arms herself with a knife, she stomps around the house in the rage that was missing from Bella when Edward admitted to stalking her and she says that she’s “seething” at someone’s breaking and entering, claiming she especially hates “someone making [her] feel vulnerable.” I’d be a little worried if you weren’t angry, though your internal monologue feels a less adult woman feeling terror and rage and more…tantrum-y. She says some try hard edgy shit, claiming that while the rose is “powerless” because it’s thorn-less, she’ll be happy to show them a “rose is still deadly” crammed down a throat.

Edge Lord of Darkness: 15

You’re A Moron: 28

She storms through the house and stops at the “door that leads to the attic,” describing how she’s “frozen to the spot” and how her “instincts [are] screaming.” It all leads to nothing because she just goes back into the kitchen and spends the night there. What was the point of this scene? It adds nothing and if you cut it, nothing about the section changes. Nothing.

A Whole Lot of Nothing: 8

Bad Writing: 63

You’re A Moron: 29

We get another rose transition and we open up the next morning with Addie talking to Daya, describing her eyes as “dumbbells…having a losing weightlifting battle” and I think she meant her eyelids are heavy…at least, I think that’s what she meant. Considering the line about the Tin Man, I have my doubts.

Bad Writing: 64

She casually mentions someone broke into her house and Daya, of course, freaks the fuck out. We also discover Daya’s last name is Pierson, though it doesn’t add much to the story. Addie relays the events of last night in detail, though she rants particularly about “Greyson douchery” and keeps the diaries—and their supposedly oh-so-disturbing content—to herself.

When Daya declares she’s coming over, Addie proceeds to treat us to a four whole paragraphs about her “best friend since middle school” and how, even though the years have passed, they’ve kept in contact. She also mentions Daya’s job and you’ll never guess what it is…a “hacker group.” The hacker group is so fucking blinding, it might as well be neon signs pointing to Zade’s organization, aptly named Z.

Bad Writing: 66

A Whole Lot of Nothing: 13

The chapter ends with Addie saying she hates Gigi…and is envious of her in equal measure, but what's there to be envious I don't know, considering she was stalked and murdered in the house.

Gigi’s Letter #3 — April 12th, 1944

“He came back.”

That’s our opener. Gigi says she’d be “disappointed” if he hadn’t, and how she’d waited on tenterhooks the minute John and Serafina—AKA Nana—left her alone. She at least admits it isn’t her “proudest moment.”

You’re A Moron: 30

And apparently locking your doors isn’t a thing in the forties because she says he just walks in and how she “froze” at the sight of him, equal parts terrified and anticipatory. He shows his face and she says that her “breath caught” at the sight of him, “beautiful” with piercing blue eyes and a strong jaw.

And thus begins our Twilight-themed count, though I won’t take credit for originality. That goes to the wonder Mervin from Das Sporking, one of my influences to create this blog.

Do I Dazzle You: 4

She describes how he approached her and touched all over face and how she damn near orgasmed at it, “his smile [stopping] her heart.” You know, like how Bella would get dizzy just from huffing Edward fumes.

Do I Dazzle You: 5

Twilite: 12

The letter ends with Gigi says that she “almost pleaded” for him to return but, by some miracle of sheer willpower, she stopped with the consolation that “[he’d] be back.”

COUNTS FOR THE CHAPTER

ACT YOUR AGE: 11

A WHOLE LOT OF NOTHING: 13

BAD WRITING: 66

DO I DAZZLE YOU: 5

EDGE LORD OF DARKNESS: 15

HAND HOLDING: 15

SHE’S JUST LIKE ME: 6

SIN THY ASS OFF: 24

TWILITE: 12

Last Chapter

Contents

Next Chapter

We open up with Zade immediately being an edge lord asshole, complaining about how his victim’s “screams of pain” are getting on his nerves. Then he adds that while he “really fucking [enjoys] hurting people,” his patience has run dry and that it “really sucks being the hacker and the enforcer.”

Edge Lord of Darkness: 2

He claims he normally has the “patience of a saint” and, considering I’ve both read this book in its entirety, I can say safely say he doesn’t, as he claims, “know how to wait for what [he] wants most,” especially with he doesn’t even remotely try to control himself when it comes to Addie. And he often makes a big deal of threatening and injuring people when they piss him off, which doesn’t strike me as the actions of a person with perpetual cool. He just comes across as a self-insert edge lord who constantly talks about dark and cruel and horrible the world and everything in it is.

Sues Run the World: 16

Edge Lord of Darkness: 4

After complaining about his victim not doing what he wants, he threatens the man and how he isn’t going to show him any mercy by “shoving [his knife] all the way to [the man’s] brain,” which I figured was the case with most eye stabbings? It’s so close to the brain, there’s probably a high likelihood of your knife reaching it. So his threat doesn’t really make sense. He laughs when the man braces for pain, which earns a whole new count for Zade finding pleasure in making people scared or just acting like a little monster. Introducing the Pet Monster count.

Bad Writing: 19

Pet Monster: 2

He describes all the torture the man’s gone through, which I don’t include because it’s just a laundry list of violence and edgy in the extreme, and we’re told about how the man’s “overgrown greasy blonde hair” technically isn’t blonde anymore since the guy’s bleeding so much. No shit, Sherlock. Someone who’s been brutally tortured is going to be covered in blood and wounds. That’s what torture does, depending on what methods you use. And apparently Zade’s are gruesome and messy.

Bad Writing: 26

The man tells Zade all about “Fernando,” who runs the warehouse and how he’s, of course, “Mexican, bald, [with] a scar cutting across his hairline, and a beard.” First of all Fernando? It feels like Carlton just searched up stereotypical Spanish names and slapped one on, which I wouldn't be shocked considering the running theme of People of Color = Drug Addicted Bad Guys, with the even worse people being white, rich politicians. Second the warehouse? No description of where it is, no name, nothing, just the warehouse as if there’s only one in Seattle. And third of course he’s Mexican. The one thing I remember is how almost all the traffickers or the people on the ground are almost all men of color, usually brown who speak Spanish or are out-right stated to be Mexican. Considering it’s a running theme in this book alongside misogynistic, transphobic, and other harmful rhetoric, I’m not giving a white female author in 2026 the doubt.

Don’t Be Racist: 8

Zade toys with the man, letting him believe he might live, for no other reason than to play with his prey. But it’s okay because the man’s “a child rapist” and he finds it funny how the man thought he might live.

Pet Monster: 10

It’s funny how Zade says him being a rapist is a murder-worthy offense and I wonder if it’s just because it’s children. He goes on to spend the entirety of this book terrorizing and raping a woman just because he can. How is that any different from the terror those man’s victims felt? It isn’t. Regardless of it’s children or a singular person, rape is rape and Zade’s not any better than the man he murdered just because he’s picked a single victim and it’s an adult woman.

This whole tirade leads me into the next count, which is for whenever Zade talks about how evil and horrible these rapists are while he’s subjecting Addie to the same terror and pain. Or when it shows its ass and brings attention to the double standards.

Raging Hypocrisy: 1

Even though he tells us he’s “not a dickhead who gets off” on it, he proceeds to list in graphic detail all the sounds that accompany torturing and murdering someone, claiming he’d never fall asleep to it all. Then why are you describing it in explicit, far too much detail? I don’t describe things I find disgusting to show how much I find those things disgusting.

Bad Writing: 27

The section ends with him whining about disposing the body and how he hates it but he does it himself because he’s a control freak and “[doesn’t] trust other people” to do it right. So you don’t trust other people enough to clean up a body but, later, after he’s kidnapped Arch, he mentions a cleaning crew, which arguable require some amount of trust, so that’s false.

Bad Writing: 28

We’re treated to yet another rose motif for the section break, and we find Zade prowling the sidewalks in Seattle because “parking is a bitch.” As if Twilight, Fifty Shades, and After—and all the Twilight-inspired novels that flooded the market—wasn’t enough for this poor state.

He’s making his way to his to his favorite burger restaurant and decides to whistle like he’s on Andy fucking Griffith as he walks. He mentions a crowd at a bookstore and uses that as a bouncing off point to jerk himself off, telling us proudly he only reads books that’ll “teach him something” and how it’s usually about computer science and hacking. But he’s such a Badass that he’s “mastered and surpassed” all of them because he’s that cool.

The God complex and arrogance is astounding but it also leads us into a new count for everyone being insufferable and eye-rolling.

Insufferable Bastards: 4 (One for each line.)

He starts to leave but the advertisement just grabs his attention and he stops right smack dab in the middle of sidewalk like an asshole. Someone’s “smaller stature” barely jostles him because he’s so Big and Manly and only a glare makes the guy run off. I also noticed Carlton describe “the enraged guy” with gender neutral pronouns—i.e., saying ‘their mouth opening’—which I can only assume is an editing error, considering this book's track record thus far.

It also gives me violent Twilight flashbacks to everyone shaking in their boots—including Bella—whenever Edward, this skinny, pasty redheaded boy, growled or bared his teeth. It also leads me to the newest count.

We Have Twilight At Home: 2

Bad Writing: 29

He says he’d “laugh if [he] weren’t distracted” and you might be asking yourself—Bunny, what’s he distracted by? The blown-up photograph of our one, our only Addie on the advertisement board outside the book store, and it reads like one massive jerk fest to the author. I’m not saying this is self-insert but…their appearances are too similar to coincidental in my mind. I can’t prove it, but the brain knows.

Especially given the over-the-top, flattering purple prose description we get of Addie.

She’s fucking incredible. Long, wavy cinnamon hair brushed over dainty shoulders. Creamy, ivory skin with freckles dotting her nose and cheeks. Light and sporadic without overwhelming her innocent face. Her eyes are what draws me in. Sultry, slanted eyes—the type to looks seductive without trying. They’re nearly the same color as her hair. A brown so light, it’s unusual. One look from this girl and any man would be on their knees. Her lips are pouty and pink, stretched into a radiant smile with straight, white teeth. I note the name below the picture. Adeline Reilly. A beautiful name fit for a goddess. She doesn’t have that plastic beauty you see lining the magazine rack. Though she could easily make it one of those covers without photoshop and surgery, her features natural. I’ve seen a lot of beautiful women in my life. Fucked a lot, too. But something about her captivates me. It feels like a hurricane is at my back, pushing me towards her and leaving no room for resistance. My feet are carrying me into the bookstore, my black boots soaking the welcome mat at the entrance.

Where do I begin? Bullet points will have to suffice.

• In true suethor fashion, Addie is the most beautiful woman who’s ever existed, and we’re treated to a deranged rapist waxing poetry to her perfect skin and jerking off to her freckles and beauty.

• And of course we can’t properly prop Addie up unless we’re putting down other women, who obviously do horrible, sinful morally bankrupt things like stalk and terrorize people and rape them repeatedly…Oh.

• There’s something that feels really icky to me about Zade—who witnesses all trauma the people he saves go through—making it a point to judge women for being conventionally pretty and wearing makeup. That’s certainly…a choice.

We Have Twilight At Home: 3

Bad Writing: 37 (One for each paragraph.)

Sues Run the World: 24

Smells Like Misogyny: 7

He goes into the bookstore and whines about the smell, and complains how tiny it is and how he’s just sooooo Tall and Big and Manly. It’s “too hot, too crowded” and he notices a man “picking his nose” and that, my dear readers, is our precursor to this cutesy shoujo moment where the Zade says it feels “like heaven’s gates open up” and it’s preceded…with boogers. He even comments on it, thinking of Addie as a “poor girl” who’ll be handling a book that has “boogers all over it” and obviously finds it funny, which reminds me of Edward.

Boogers? How old are we? Seven? I can’t believe this is the level of writing we’re being treated to in a book that’s supposed to be dark and thrilling and sensual. What was the point of that? It adds absolutely nothing to the story, either, except remind me violently of the book’s immaturity.

We Have Twilight At Home: 4

Act Your Age: 23

Bad Writing: 40

We’re treated to another example of the egregious writing, one where Zade refers to his head turning “like one of those creepy bitches in an exorcist movie” and I’m imagining a husky man staring her down. Or Jasper from Twilight. I’m also imagining a Boxer and the way they always look like they found out they owe someone money. This leads us into a new count, which encompasses the ridiculous writing when I’m supposed to take it serious.

Unintentionally Hilarious: 1

Bad Writing: 41

He waxes about how everything vanishes when he looks at her and how she’s “even more exquisite” and how she’s got his knees weak, pulse racing, arms sweaty, mom’s spaghetti. He also claims he doesn’t “know if God really exists” and if “mankind ever walked on the moon” but he says that the meaning of life—his life—is “sitting behind a table with an awkward smile on her face.”

Bad Writing: 42

Edge Lord of Darkness: 8

We Have Twilight At Home: 6

Sues Run the World: 28

He settles in in true Edward fashion to just…watch Addie, referring to her as his “new obsession” and practically salivates over every moment we were treated to from Addie’s perspective in the previous chapter. He notes how she looks “ready to bolt” and how she eyes the mic handed to her as if it’s a “severed head.” Then he proceeds have a spontaneous orgasm right there in the crowded bookstore—although I argue that he creams himself only a little bit because he has the self control to stop his orgasm and he’s Better Than You—because Addie speaks and her voice is apparently “pure smoke.” He immediately sexualizes her, of course, by adding that it’s the kind you “only hear in porn.”

We Have Twilight At Home: 10 (For the obsession remark and just watching her.)

Smells Like Misogyny: 8

Bad Writing: 43 (What does pure smoke sound like? What does it mean? Husky and soft? Slow and rolling? Sultry?)

He says that he’s “enthralled with the little creature” and describes how something “black and evil and cruel” rises to the surface, because everything Black is evil. It’s tired-ass trope to see. Especially considering how all the drug addicts and low-rung sex traffickers aren’t white and the constant iteration about how ugly and monstrous they are.

Bad Writing: 44

Smells Like Misogyny: 9

Don’t Be Racist: 9

He describes his obsession with her in detail, about how all he wants to do is “break her” and “shatter her into pieces,” then shows how truly disgusting and awful he is because he admits he’s going to “cross lines” and how “not an ounce of [him] gives a fuck” about forcing this girl to be his.

Genuine question for all the Zade defenders—how is he any different from all these child rapists and pedophiles he kills when he’s using the exact same tactics and displays the exact same blatant disregard? Is it because he’s handsome and wealthy and forces orgasms onto Addie during the subsequent assaults and rapes? Is it simply because he’s the other main character?

There’s no difference between him and all the men he kills. He’s still a rapist.

We also get a new count, Sin Thy Ass Off, for characters acknowledging what they’re doing as they’re doing it.

Sin Thy Ass Off: 10 (One for each sentence.)

Edge Lord of Darkness: 13

Smells Like Misogyny: 14

Raging Hypocrisy: 11

I will forever be disappointed at what a niche of dark romance is since it gets so much popularity, living in infamy for things exactly like this. Because this, right here, all the stalking? Each time I dip my toes into dark romance, especially ones I see on Booktok, I’m always let down because it always just feels like an episode of Law and Order: Special Victims but with I’m supposed to find the perpetrator sexy. I’m supposed to find this hot and instead I’m drier than the Sahara and ready to call a trusted adult.

Zade stalks, assaults, rapes, and terrorizes a young woman who does not want it. And the defenders out there who argue that he forces orgasms on her and that she was wet therefor it’s okay are using the very same rhetoric rapists use to excuse their actions. It’s not even remotely close to consensual non-consent like the original and incredibly misleading and downright irresponsible trigger warning claims. Addie never consents to it, and, arguably, anything other than active, full, enthusiastic consent is assault. This isn’t two people matching each other’s freaks; it’s the plot of a true crime episode and we’re being told that it’s romantic. So much dark romance that I’ve attempted to read is often just abuse, just like its predecessors—Twilight, Fifty Shades, After, Crossfire, etc.

Katee Robert, Eden O’Neill, Keta Kendrick, Ajme Williams, and specifically Harper Ashley and Wren Hawthorne’s No Place To Hide are perfect examples to me of dark romance done responsibly.

He watches for a while before she looks at him—describing it as “her eyes sliding into [his]”—and he says that the force of her beautiful, cinnamon/mocha/copper/auburn eyes “nearly sends [his] knees to the ground” and this man’s so fucking dramatic, I cannot take this serious.

Unintentionally Hilarious: 2

Bad Writing: 44

Our chapter ends with Zade boasting about his little mouse “won’t be able to escape” and how he won’t stop until he’s “trapped her.”

Smells Like Misogyny: 16

Why mouse? What about her reminds you of a mouse? Her eyes? Her hair? Her mannerisms? It’s like all these dark romance books—usually featuring a fucking incel un-sub from Criminal Minds as a love interest—just pick a random demeaning nickname for the female lead that he never stops calling her.

Gigi’s Letter #2 — April 10th, 1944

Gigi says that her “visitor is here” and how he’s watching her even as she writes the letter. She can’t decide whether or not the unwanted attention is frightening and instead describes it as “thrilling.”

The letter’s very much of a nothing burger that tries to excuse Gigi having an extra marital affair by making her husband, John, even worse, describing the way Ronaldo makes her feel as her “blood [catching] fire” and how it’s “[addicting.]”

It doesn’t matter that she has a family and hasn’t expressed any dissatisfaction in her life before Ronaldo came into the picture. Cheating’s excused if your husband turns into a violent abusive alcoholic rapist! Doesn’t negate the cheating. I really hate how stories always have some sort of justification for cheating, often times making their partner abusive which means they won't feel guilty about cheating.

She says that he “[comes] closer” and how it’s “distracting” her from her journal entry, him questioning her like it’s a game of twenty questions. She doesn’t know how to tell John that she’s “thinking of another” when he kisses her or touches her.

Her letter ends with her saying that while she’s frightened, she’s “far too intrigued.”

COUNTS FOR THE CHAPTER

ACT YOUR AGE: 23

BAD WRITING: 44

DON’T BE RACIST: 9

EDGE LORD OF DARKNESS: 13

INSUFFERABLE BASTARDS: 4

PET MONSTER: 10

RAGING HYPOCRISY: 11

SIN THY ASS OFF: 10

SMELLS LIKE MISOGYNY: 16

SUES RUN THE WORD: 28

UNINTENTIONALLY HILARIOUS: 2