the fall wasn't fatal

NOTE: There are 2 surprises coming in the chapter I will post next Wednesday & one of them is Valko. I took several hours yesterday to rewrite the last few chapters of this fic as well as the one that follows to include our wolfie. (He is one of the LI's in the next fic, Chaos & Moonshine. I won't be saying who the 2nd LI is, but you'll probably figure it out when you read Chapter 10 lol.) I posted yesterday saying that if Infold doesn't want to give Valko a voice & a story then I will & I intend to do so. JusticeForValko

Chapter 9

Five days later

Taking a sip of my iced caramel latte, I glanced at my phone for the hundredth time since I sat down.

The text messages from the day after everything went so wrong were haunting me…

Me: I’m going to use some of my pto & take a few days.

Sylus: No, you have appointments scheduled.

Me: Reschedule them. I need this & I have the time.

Sylus: Fine. But you can’t run from this forever, Bay. You need to make a decision.

That was the problem… I DID need to make a decision. And every time I tried, my brain shut down, my thoughts spiraled, and I ended up more confused than I was when I started.

It's not like I was unaware of how selfish I was being… keeping them both on a string like this... it was a pretty shitty thing to do but I was scared.

I was scared of losing them… I was scared of making the wrong choice…

I couldn't do it.

Not yet.

I took a deep breath, closing the messages and setting my phone aside.

It had been almost a week since I had sent those messages, and it had been radio silence from them both since.

And that silence was deafening.

I should’ve been relieved—they weren’t hounding me, they weren't showing up unannounced like Caleb had that morning after the fight. No more texts demanding answers, no more late-night calls from Sylus with his rough voice low and dangerous through the phone.

Just... nothing.

It was what I had wanted but it hurt.

Every time I checked my phone and saw no notifications or missed calls, my chest tightened until breathing felt impossible and all I could think was… They gave up on you.

They didn't chase me this time because maybe they finally realized how ridiculous this whole situation really was; maybe they'd decided to cut their losses before things got even messier than they already were… or worse?

I sighed, taking another sip of my coffee and staring miserably across the little outdoor café. The weather was hot, the sun shining brightly and the air thick and almost stifling even with the cool breeze blowing now and then.

It should've been a relaxing atmosphere, a nice place to chill out and clear my mind... instead, I felt a headache coming on.

I sighed and rubbed my forehead as if it would help.

"Is this seat taken?"

The voice startled me, making me jump and almost spill some of my coffee as I turned my head to see who was speaking.

Standing beside my table was a handsome man, tall and broad with dark hair, sharp, intelligent green eyes and a polite half-smile. He was wearing a pair of black slacks and a white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows with a pair of sunglasses dangling from one hand while the other held a steaming cup of coffee.

I recognized him as the man whose cock I had pierced a little over a week ago.

Zayne.

He was just as gorgeous as the first time I’d seen him… unforgettable in every single way from his looks to his professional demeanor to the aura of calm he radiated just standing there.

If I hadn’t been hung up on two men already, I might have taken this opportunity to maybe flirt a little and possibly get a date out of him, but I wasn’t anything but curious.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," he said.

I swallowed and forced a polite smile. "It's fine," I said, gesturing to the seat across from me. "You can sit if you want."

He nodded his thanks and slid into the chair, setting his coffee down on the table then he leaned back, one leg crossing over his knee. "I recognize you," he said softly. "… you're the one who did my piercing."

My cheeks warmed slightly at the reminder that I’d had this man’s cock in my hands, and I took another sip of my coffee to stall. "Yes," I said, "I am."

He smiled, studying me for a moment before he leaned forward, resting his arms on the table and trailing his finger along the side of his coffee cup. "You have a very steady hand."

I shook my head, clearing my throat and crossing one leg over the other. "Well, I wouldn’t be a very good piercer if I didn't."

He chuckled. "I suppose that's true. I was surprised, is all."

I raised an eyebrow, my curiosity piqued. "Surprised by what, exactly? My steady hand or…?"

His lips curled up into a sly smile. "I was expecting someone a little more… rough around the edges when I came into your shop… I guess you could say."

I couldn't help but huff a laugh, my own smile mirroring his. "Ah, you mean you were expecting some big, burly, scary, tattooed punk, all leather and spikes?"

The corners of his lips lifted higher, that sharp intelligence flashing in his eyes as he leaned back. "Something like that," he admitted. "But you? You're… unexpected."

His gaze dropped to the delicate silver rings on my tattooed fingers—then up again to meet mine with a slow drag of his tongue over his bottom lip before adding, "In a good way."

There was something in the way he said it—the kind of quiet confidence that made me shift slightly. It wasn’t quite flirting… but it could be if I let it go there.

A quiet moment passed as our gazes lingered, my heart doing a strange kick in my chest that left me feeling a bit breathless.

He was charming, that was undeniable, but I couldn't let myself get caught up. Just because my situation was complicated didn't mean I was going to drag anyone else into this… even if the thought of having something uncomplicated was more than a little attractive.

His smile softened, as if sensing the hesitation. He took a sip of his coffee, those sharp green eyes never leaving mine over the rim of his cup.

"Something on your mind?"

I shifted uncomfortably, fingers tightening around my latte before forcing them to relax with visible effort. "Just... work stuff," I lied poorly while thinking You have no idea how screwed I am right now.

He studied me for a long moment—too perceptive by half—then set his cup down with deliberate care. "Hmm…" A pause then, "I know we don’t know each other very well besides the obvious…" he said with a small smile. "… but if you need to talk, I happen to be an excellent listener."

I was almost tempted to call bullshit on that last part because he was right… he hardly knew me, why would he possibly want to listen to whatever problems I had?

But as soon as the thought crossed my mind, I chided myself.

He was being kind… whether it was because he was the type of person who would sit and listen to the woes of others or because I had been there for such an intimate moment in his life didn’t matter. He struck me as the kind of man who cared about the people he knew… even the ones he met for such trivial matters as getting a piercing.

But… how did I explain I was in love with two men who wanted me to choose between them instead of me being able to have both to a perfect stranger?

I was about to decline; to brush off this stranger's random offer of listening to some random problems… but something made me pause.

He was being so normal. Friendly. Casual.

There was no judgment, no expectations… and the thought of having a conversation with someone who was on the outside felt like a lifeline.

He silently watched what I knew were a dozen different emotions cross my face… saw the way my grip tightened on the cup, how I bit at my lower lip like I was physically wrestling with something but he didn’t push.

Just let that charged silence stretch between us as he took another sip of coffee.

When he finally spoke again, his voice was quieter. "Look…" A pause as he leaned forward slightly over the table. "I don’t know you beyond the pleasantries we exchanged when you had me with my pants around my ankles."

The corner of his mouth quirked up at that before continuing, "But if there's one thing life has taught me? It’s that sometimes random strangers are better at listening to life’s troubles than those who actually know us."

His gaze held mine steadily… still not pushing but not retreating either; leaving room for me to deny him or tell him the truth while making it clear he wasn't going anywhere unless I dismissed him outright.

And dammit if part of me didn't want to spill every messy detail right then and there just to see what he would say...

"Okay," I found myself muttering before I could stop myself.

The word hung in the air like an invitation, heavy with a mix of relief and trepidation… but before I could find my head and take them back, he was leaning forward, his forearms resting on the table and his expression serious.

"Tell me what happened," he said, voice low and soft.

I took a deep breath to gather my thoughts and try to figure out where to begin…

He stayed silent, waiting with the kind of patience that didn’t feel like pity or judgment, just genuine care… and it was that that had me taking a trembling breath then I started talking.

He didn't flinch. Didn't even blink as I explained… his expression remained carefully neutral, but his fingers flexed slightly around his coffee cup before he forcibly relaxed them again.

"Sylus and Caleb," he repeated quietly, testing the weight of their names in his mouth like a foreign word, "You're dating two men? The ones who work with you at the shop?"

There was no judgment in either of those questions—just quiet observation and something else beneath it… curiosity? A flicker of intrigue?

"Yeah… well, sort of," I admitted with a huff of amusement. The word 'dating' felt so casual for all that had happened considering how this mess had started… but I wasn't sure what else to call it. "It's… complicated. Really complicated," I said with another half-laugh, shaking my head.

The corner of his mouth quirked up in a small, wry smile. "I get the feeling complicated is an understatement." His tone was dry, but the look in his eyes was understanding. "What's so complicated about it, if you don't mind me asking?"

I hesitated again, wondering how personal I should get with a man I hardly knew… but the offer to listen had been genuine. No matter what I said, and how personal I got he would listen with no judgement… and damn if it wasn't difficult to ignore how freeing that was.

"I… we…" I trailed off as a blush spread across my face and I took a drink of my latte, trying to think of how to say this.

The corner of his mouth quirked up, almost into a smirk, as if he knew what I was hesitating to say. "You're sleeping with both of them."

The words were pointed… blunt. Not an accusation… just a statement, and something about the way he said it without judgment had my cheeks flaming hotter. "I… yeah. I am."

"At the same time?"

I nodded, unable to meet his eyes. "Yeah…"

A slow whistle escaped him before he let out a quiet chuckle. "Okay, so you're sleeping with two men who work with you… both of whom are aware they're not the only one in your bed." He rubbed at his chin thoughtfully for a moment before adding dryly, "That is complicated."

The way he said it made me huff out another laugh despite myself because yeah… that was putting it mildly. "This sounds so bad," I muttered, dragging my hands down my flushed cheeks.

"I have no room to judge," he said with a shake of his head. "You're not the only one with a complicated love life, believe it or not."

My eyes widened, a mixture of surprise and curiosity suddenly overcoming the embarrassment. "No way? You?" I blurted out before I could stop myself.

He chuckled again. "Don't sound so shocked."

But I was shocked.

He was gorgeous, charming and intelligent… the guy probably had women and men throwing themselves at him left and right… and the thought that he was having his own complicated love life had me leaning forward, wanting to know more.

"I just… you seem so… cool and collected and obviously you’re gorgeous. I can't imagine you in a situation like mine," I admitted, shaking my head.

One eyebrow rose at my words but there was something like amusement gleaming in his eyes. "Is that so?"

My cheeks flamed again at the implication in his low voice, heat flaring beneath my skin. He gave me a slow, almost lazy smile as if he could see the way my mind was already running through questions and scenarios and it had me shifting slightly in my seat.

He leaned back, casually crossing his leg over his knee again and resting his arm along the back of the chair… the pose made him look languid and relaxed, but it also drew attention to his lean, muscled frame in a way that had my mouth going a bit dry.

"I'm in a complicated situation," he murmured, his voice dropping lower, "not like yours, but… complicated all the same."

"Okay, now I’m curious," I finally managed, trying to keep my voice even as my imagination ran wild at the possibilities… "What's your complicated love life, then?"

He glanced away, watching a few birds swoop back and forth between the trees, his expression turning uncharacteristically pensive.

"It's a long story."

I could sense the hesitation in his voice, the way his fingers drummed against the back of the seat… something that felt eerily familiar to the way I had been reacting since this conversation had started. "I've got time."

Several hours later, I walked through my front door feeling lighter than I had in days.

Something had lifted from my shoulders after spending time with and talking to Zayne for so long… and it wasn't just having a new, outside opinion on my situation.

It was talking to someone who wasn't wrapped up in this mess. Someone who wasn't emotionally invested. Someone who didn't expect anything from me, no judgement or explanations… no demands or expectations. Someone who understood on some level.

I dropped onto the couch with a sigh, dragging my hands over my face before finally reaching for my phone because despite everything?

I needed to know if they were even thinking about me.

There were two text messages… one from Sylus two hours ago and another from Caleb from thirty minutes ago.

Sylus: Where are you.

No question mark. Just a demand carved from ice and something far more dangerous beneath the words even through a text message.

I winced, swallowing hard at the way my skin suddenly felt like it was crawling.

He was pissed… but was it because I hadn’t messaged or called or was it something else?

There was no way he could know I had spent the afternoon and evening with another man drinking coffee then having dinner that involved nothing more than conversation, could he?

A sigh escaped me and I rubbed at the tension that had suddenly settled between my shoulders then quickly typed out a response.

Me: I’m fine. I'm at home.

His response came faster than I expected… and it made me want to throw something.

Sylus: Alone or with someone?

The way he phrased that—with someone—had my fingers freezing over the screen.

Me: Just me.

Not a lie, technically.

Zayne had technically been with me for hours today… but he wasn’t with me now.

Sylus: Good. Stay there. I'm coming over.

He was coming over? Now? After days of silence where I hadn’t been sure if we were even friends anymore?

Anxiety twisted in my stomach as I glanced at the clock, realizing it was almost eight at night already, which meant the shop had either closed early or he had taken off specifically to come talk to me.

So he could already be on his way, or he just now be leaving.

For a split second, I debated telling him not to bother or that we could talk when I was ready but the memory of his cold, demanding text made me stop.

He was already pissed. Telling him NO would only make it worse.

But… I still wasn’t ready to make a decision and him showing up here right now would only confuse me further so I typed out a response and put my phone down beside me while I waited to see what he would say.

Me: No. I still need time and you being here won’t help anything.

A minute passed… then another… and finally my phone vibrated with his response.

Sylus: Bullshit. You’ve had plenty of time. We’ve given you six days and not heard a damn word from you. I’m on my way. I'm walking through your door and we're talking.

I couldn't help but roll my eyes, annoyed at the way he was ordering me around like he had the right to make those decisions for me. I knew he was irritated… I knew he was ready for an answer but he had to know this kind of thing wasn't going to make me want to hear him out.

Me: You can't just come over without warning and expect we're going to talk about this. You need to give me more time. You haven't even tried to reach out until now and when you do, you’re demanding that I give you my attention and an answer all because you say?

His response came seconds later… more demanding than the last message.

Sylus: Yes.

One word. That was it.

No explanation, no plea—just a silent threat wrapped in silk that went straight down my spine like lightning. My fingers tightened around the phone so hard it creaked, heart hammering against my ribs as I stared at the screen.

He knew exactly what that kind of response would do to me—because he always did this when push came to shove… skip right past reason and go straight for control, daring me to fight back just so he could pin me down and make his point anyway.

I exhaled sharply through clenched teeth before typing out one last reply.

Me: Then I won’t be here when you arrive.

It was a stupid, risky thing to say when I knew he was already pissed off, but the thought of him coming here and demanding answers like I owed him something was enough to make heat flare in my chest.

He could try to find me if he really wanted to—but it would be on my terms, not his.

I pushed to my feet, grabbing my keys and backpack before tossing them over my shoulder and leaving the apartment.

It was windy, the night air biting against my face as I walked, but the sharp chill was almost welcome after the heat of the day. I kept my head down, hood pulled up to block as much wind as possible as I walked along the sidewalk.

I could have called for a cab to make my life easier, but I wanted to walk... needed to burn the restless energy and irritation that had been building for the last six days before I snapped.

It was ridiculous to put off this inevitable confrontation but… the urge to run away was hard to resist so I kept moving… entering a crowded area that was known for its nightlife.

The streets were full of people moving from bar to bar in search of an escape from life but they quickly became background noise as I tried to figure out where I was going.

I knew this area… knew the little hole-in-the-wall bars and seedy establishments where people gathered for a good time… had spent a lot of my youth here with Sylus and Caleb, getting into trouble and having fun.

This area was the perfect place for someone to get lost in and hide from the things they didn’t want to face in the light of day.

A few minutes later, I came across a bar I used to frequent with Sylus and Caleb and hesitated for a second before I took a shaky breath, pushed the door open and stepped inside where the sounds of rock and roll music, glasses clinking together and people talking filled the air immediately.

The name had changed but the inside hadn't since I last came in, the low lighting and music still the same as I made my way to the bar, ignoring the few heads that turned to watch me. I wasn’t here for small talk or pleasantries… I was here to drink away my worries and maybe get some clarity.

I dropped onto a stool, trying not to look too desperate as I reached for a menu and tried to ignore the way my heart was hammering in my chest.

The bartender—a handsome man with bright blue eyes and sandy blonde hair—sauntered over, wiping his hands on a rag. "You look like you're about to bolt," he said dryly, eyeing the death grip I had on the menu.

I exhaled, forcing myself to relax my fingers before letting it go entirely and placing it on the countertop in front of me. "Rough day."

He snorted but didn't push for details as he leaned his hands on the counter. "Alright then… whiskey? Beer? Something fruity with an umbrella?"

I almost laughed at his last suggestion but managed to keep it together and tried to act nonchalant as I leaned back slightly and studied the wall of liquor behind him. "Tequila," I replied, the word coming out a little too quickly. "And keep ‘em coming."

His eyebrows rose at my bluntness, and he let out another snort that had the corner of my mouth twitching. "Rough day indeed," he said teasingly. "You know it's bad when a pretty thing like you is asking for straight tequila."

I rolled my eyes, feeling my cheeks heat with embarrassment and annoyance at being called a pretty thing. "Yeah well, it's been one hell of a week," I said with a sigh, running a hand through my hair before adding, "Call me pretty again and I'll kick your ass."

He chuckled, the sound loud and amused as he placed a glass on the countertop then reached under the bar for a bottle of tequila before pouring me two fingers worth. "Feisty. I like it," he said, setting it down in front of me but not letting go of it.

I stared at him, unamused, as I tapped my finger on the countertop impatiently. "Yeah? No jokes or flirting… just tequila."

The glass slid across the counter toward me as he smirked.

"Ouch."

I took the glass and downed a long swallow, the tequila burning as it went down. It wasn't the cheap stuff either… it was the good stuff and it had a smooth, almost sweet finish.

I set the glass back down, already feeling the heat and irritation starting to bleed away as I shoved the glass back toward him with a head tilt indicating I wanted some more.

He chuckled again, taking the glass and pouring me another… this time three fingers worth. "Damn… a woman who can hold her liquor. Marry me?"

"Shut up," I muttered, taking the glass and downing half the contents in one swallow.

He chuckled as he turned and walked off to go help a man further down the bar, leaving me to my misery.

Somewhere between drinks two and three something shifted… my shoulders loosened just enough so breathing didn't feel like such an effort anymore. It was stupid that tequila could do anything other than blur edges around reality’s sharp corners but damn if it didn’t feel good.

I'd just finished drink number four when a group of people came into the bar, taking a table nearby and ordering a round of beers as they talked loudly about the concert they had just gone to and how they wanted to get the lead singers autograph tattooed on their skin.

By drink number six I was laughing and flirting with the bartender in the way only a tipsy person could… shamelessly and obnoxiously. He was enjoying the attention… flirting back as I leaned closer, my tongue slipping out to swipe over my bottom lip in a move I knew was provocative.

He was handsome, confident and charming… and any other day I would have been all over him for that alone, but those thoughts were shoved aside as I remembered why I was here in the first place.

I had a decision to make… an important one that didn’t involve dark-haired men who sat and listened to me drone on and on about the men I was in love with or blue-eyed bartenders who looked like they could wreck me without even trying.

"Can I ask you something?" I said suddenly, cutting off the bartender in the middle of a story. He raised an eyebrow at my bluntness, pausing to take in the look on my face before nodding.

"Sure… go ahead."

"You ever been in a situation where you can't have what you want?" I asked, taking another swallow of tequila.

He paused, studying me like he was trying to figure out the meaning behind my words then he nodded. "Yeah… I think we've all been there at one point or another."

I snorted, shaking my head and signaling for him to pour me another. "This isn't like deciding which brand of toothpaste to buy or what shirt to wear in the morning."

"Okay," he said, leaning his hands on the counter again. "Then enlighten me."

I paused, taking a deep breath before blurting out, "I'm in a love triangle."

He raised his eyebrows, surprise flashing over his features. "A love triangle? As in-"

I let out a sharp, bitter laugh, cutting him off. "Yeah." My fingers tightened around the glass, knuckles whitening as I stared down at the liquid swirling inside. "Two men—both of them incredible in completely different ways—and they want me to choose one."

"Damn," he muttered after a beat of silence, "They know about each other?"

I nodded once, the motion more a wince than anything. "Yeah… it's an entire shitshow."

"And they want you to choose one of them?"

I exhaled sharply, the sound rough and frustrated as I tapped my fingers against the glass. "Not just want me to," I muttered bitterly. "They're making it a damn ultimatum."

His expression shifted—something unreadable flickering in his eyes before he schooled it back into careful neutrality. His voice dropped lower when he asked, "And what do you want?"

That stopped me cold.

My throat tightened around words that had been spinning in circles for days now… words I hadn't let myself say out loud because acknowledging them made this all too real, "I don't know how to pick one. I can’t… and I won’t so I choose neither…"

NOTE: If you don't like Valko or agree with him being cancelled don't bother leaving a comment... keep your opinion to yourself. If you do decide to leave a comment, I WILL delete it. If you like Valko just know that my accounts are all a safe place for Valko girlies & you're more than welcome to talk about him here. On my AO3 & my TikTok. Happy reading!!

Part 2

The kiss was intense… almost brutal in its intensity. He gripped my face, his fingers digging into the flesh of my jaw as he kissed me, his tongue sweeping into my mouth and mapping every inch of the soft, wet flesh in long, slow strokes as he pressed me into the top of the desk.

I trembled as my fingers dug into the hard muscle of his arms, trying to anchor myself as my body arched against him, my mouth opening as wide as I could get it to accommodate his demanding tongue.

He groaned then broke the kiss, panting as a low, dark sound escaped him. "Did you think I wouldn’t find out? That you'd be able to sneak around like some common street rat?" His hand slid from my throat to grasp at the fabric covering my body, yanking it roughly so the thin silk ripped down the middle, baring my breasts covered in the flimsy material of my chemise to the cool air in the room. "Did you wear this for him? Let him touch what belongs to me?"

I gasped as the cool air hit my exposed skin, my hands flying up to cover myself… partly from shame that he would see the fancy chemise that I had had made, partly because I knew he’d see how hard and swollen my nipples were beneath the thin lacy fabric. "Y-yours…" I stammered, trembling under his furious gaze as he yanked at what remained of my dress until the beautiful garment was in tatters around me. "I am not yours!"

His hand shot to my throat, his grip light as he pushed me onto my back and leaned down so our bodies were touching. His voice dropped into something low and dangerous, "You are mine, Zaya! In every lifetime you’ve been mine and every lifetime after this you will continue to be mine."

His words sent a shiver through me, fear and desire warring with my common sense... my sense of self-preservation. "N-No..." I managed to gasp, my fingers clawing at his hand. "Y-you hate me. You ignore me. I-I don’t belong to you…"

But even as I said the words, I knew they weren’t true. There was a part of me that had always known that I belonged to him, would always belong to him... ever since the moment I had woken up and seen those piercing violet eyes.

He let out a dark, humorless laugh as he watched tears well in my eyes, thumb stroking over the frantic pulse in my throat. "Hate you?" The words came out rough, almost pained. "I don’t hate you, Zaya. I love you… more than anything. You were made for me, the other half of my soul. I spent the last eighty years watching you from the shadows like some lovesick fool trying to save you from the inevitable end. We shouldn’t be together… every time we’ve tried has ended in heartbreak… one of us always dying only for the other to bring us back then spend years trying to get them to remember. I was trying to save us from that, but I can’t stay away. Not anymore. I will take you… claim you… so you will never doubt what I feel for you again."

The tears that had formed in my eyes spilled over at the raw pain and anguish in his voice, the anger and possessive need making my heart ache and my body tremble. Every rational thought screamed that this was wrong—that he had spent years ignoring me, leaving me to wither in silence—yet the raw truth in his voice shattered any resistance I had left.

My breath came in short gasps as tears spilled down my cheeks, streaking through the kohl still clinging to my lashes. "Y-You… you watched me?"

He pressed a kiss against my pulse before his lips skimmed over my jawline then up my cheek, kissing along the tear trails before moving to my lips. "Yes, every second... waiting for the right time to come to you and now that I have you, I will never let you go."

I shuddered as his mouth covered mine in another punishing kiss… this one more desperate, almost bruising as he claimed me with harsh strokes of his tongue. My mind spun as my arms came up, trembling as I wrapped them around his neck and pulled him closer, arching against him as my legs wrapped around his waist.

He growled into my mouth, his hands grasping my thighs and yanking me to the edge of the desk, his body pressing tight against mine. He groaned, the sound low and pained, when my pussy grinded against his hard cock then his lips were leaving mine, trailing slow, burning kisses down the sensitive skin of my neck.

He paused at the hollow of my collarbone, scraping his teeth over the sensitive skin before his mouth moved lower, his tongue lapping at the sweat beading on my skin, his breathing rapid and harsh as he continued down my chest.

Grabbing the chemise, he ripped it down the middle like he had my dress and parted the fabric, exposing my bare breasts and belly to his gaze.

I swallowed hard and once again resisted the urge to cover myself, but it was quickly drowned out when his mouth closed over one peaked nipple. The sensation was electric—his teeth grazing just enough to make me squirm, his tongue soothing the sting in slow circles before sucking hard.

My back arched off the desk as a sharp cry tore from my throat, hands flying to tangle in his dark hair as pleasure burned through me like wildfire.

He growled against my skin, the vibration sending another jolt straight to my pussy. His tongue flicked over my swollen nipple again before he switched sides without warning, lavishing the other one with equal attention until I was writhing beneath him.

"My Lord, please," I gasped out when his teeth grazed too hard.

Those violet eyes snapped up at me from under thick lashes; dark and hungry as they raked over every exposed inch of my skin before landing on my face. He inhaled sharply at whatever he saw there then mumbled, "Caleb, not Lord," against the sensitive skin of my breast.

My breath caught, something stirring in my chest as I stared at him, the hunger in his eyes leaving me breathless. "Caleb," I whispered, the name feeling unfamiliar on my tongue yet so right… like I had moaned, whined and whimpered it a thousand times under similar circumstances and hundreds more.

He made a hungry sound low in his throat. "Say it again."

"Caleb," I uttered obediently, my heart fluttering with the intimate sound.

"Good girl," he growled, a feral gleam in his eyes as he moved lower, his lips and teeth scraping against the skin of my stomach… down the curve of my hip… down the inside of my thigh as he shoved my knees wider, making me arch.

My hands reached out blindly as I desperately sought for something to anchor me as he kissed, sucked and nipped at the sensitive skin above my knee… higher and higher until he paused at the flimsy material covering my pussy.

His breath hitched as he pressed his nose against the damp fabric, inhaling deeply with a low groan. "Hmm... you smell heavenly and you're already soaked for me." His voice was rough with lust as his fingers hooked into the thin cotton of my undergarments, tearing them down the middle without warning.

The cool air kissed my exposed flesh for only a second before his tongue dragged through my folds in one long, filthy stroke. I cried out sharply, back arching off the desk as pleasure shot up my spine like lightning.

He growled before diving his tongue inside me hungrily, two thick fingers joining seconds later without warning, scissoring inside me then driving in deep and curling.

I cried out, my body jerking violently as his fingers and tongue worked in perfect rhythm. My hands flew to grip the edge of the desk, knuckles turning white as pleasure built too fast—too intense—my needy, touch starved body not handling the new sensations well. "C-Caleb!" I sobbed, hips bucking against his face helplessly.

He groaned, the vibrations making me clench around his fingers while that wicked tongue circled my swollen clit with punishing precision. His free hand gripped my thigh and pulled it over his shoulder when I tried squirming away. "Stay still," he demanded darkly before diving back in deeper, tongue thrusting inside as another finger joined the first two, stretching me obscenely wide in preparation for his cock.

My breath came in ragged, desperate gasps as I stared down at him between my legs… this man who had spent decades ignoring me was now worshiping my body with a hunger that made my toes curl. His dark hair was tousled from my fingers, his lips glistening with the evidence of how much I wanted him, his eyes closed and cheeks flushed with pleasure. He looked beautiful.

"P-Please..." I begged weakly, not even sure what for anymore—more? Less?

He lifted his head just enough to meet my gaze through hooded eyes while those sinful fingers kept moving. "What do you want?" he rasped.

I whimpered, my hips jerking helplessly against his hand as I tried to form words through the haze of pleasure. "Y-You," I gasped, the truth tumbling out unbidden. "Please... I need you."

His eyes darkened with something feral at my confession, a muscle in his jaw twitching as he let out a slow breath through flared nostrils. His fingers slowed their movements just enough to make me squirm… just enough to be cruel before pulling them out of my body. "You need me?" he repeated in a low growl, moving so his clothed cock was pressed against my pussy.

I swallowed hard, my body shaking and trembling, so desperate for him I could barely see straight. "Yes," I whispered.

His gaze flicked to mine, dark and hungry, and the air seemed to crackle with something violent. "Prove it," he growled, his words like a command.

My breath hitched, eyes widening at the challenge and the possessive need behind it. "H-how...?" I managed to murmur, still trying to get my body under control.

He stood slowly, his hands gliding up my trembling body to my forearms. "I want that pretty mouth on me," he said, voice low and dangerous as he pulled me up until I was sitting then he leaned in and whispered, "On my body, on my cock… everywhere."

I shivered at the dark, possessive words, my body and emotions screaming yes… yes to whatever he wanted. "Okay," I whispered as he moved away so I could slide off the desk.

We switched places with him leaning back against the desk where I had just been laying across it, eyes never leaving mine as I sank to my knees. His gaze was fixated on my face, watching every expression as he removed the jagged pieces of cloth, belts and ribbons around his waist and threw them aside until he was left in nothing but a pair of form fitting black pants that hugged every part of his body from the waist down.

My breaths came in soft, shallow pants as I looked at the proof of his need straining the front of his pants then I reached up, running my hands up his strong thighs, tracing the lines of his taut muscles through the expensive pants until they fumbled with the buckle of his belt. The metal clinked loudly in the quiet room, making me flinch.

I finally got it undone and pulled his pants down his thighs to free him. He was huge. Thick and long, flushed dark purple at the tip where a bead of precum glistened invitingly with trimmed, dark hair around the base.

My stomach twisted in anticipation as I wrapped one hand around him experimentally… then another when that didn’t even cover half and lightly squeezed until the precum on his tip slid down his shaft towards my fingers. Fascinated, I ran a fingertip through the glistening fluid and brought it to my lips, letting out a low moan at his taste.

"Taste good?" he growled.

I nodded, my cheeks flushing at the question, but the look in his eyes made me want to tease him, so I licked my lips, his taste lingering like warm honey. "Yes," I murmured, then ran my thumb over his head, pressing against the underside lightly before leaning forward and sliding my lips as far down his length as I could go.

 He let out a sharp, punched-out groan as my lips stretched around him, his hips jerking forward involuntarily. One of his hands fisted in my hair—not guiding, just holding—as he watched with rapt attention. "Fuck," he rasped when I pulled back slightly to lick the underside of his cockhead before taking him deep again. My throat fluttered around him and a string of curses spilled from his lips as precum dripped onto my tongue.

His other hand suddenly cupped the back of my head—not forcing me down but making sure I didn’t pull away—his breathing ragged like an animal barely holding onto control, "That's it… take all you can."

I gagged slightly, tears pricking at the corners of my eyes as I fought to adjust to his size. My throat burned with each shallow breath through my nose, but the look in his eyes—the raw hunger and approval—made me want to push harder… to please him.

My hand trembled where it gripped his thigh for balance as I swallowed around him again, taking just a little more this time until he hit the back of my throat while stroking what I couldn’t reach with the other hand.

He groaned, deep and guttural like it was being ripped from somewhere primal inside him. "Perfect," he rasped out between clenched teeth; the hand still tangled in my hair guiding me as his hips started rocking against my face. "Fucking perfect."

I whimpered around his cock at the praise, the vibrations making him shudder. My throat fluttered wildly as I fought to relax but all I could focus on was him, the salt-sweet taste flooding my tongue with every bob of my head. Tears spilled freely down my cheeks now, smearing the kohl around my eyes in dark streaks as he rocked deeper into the wet heat of my throat.

The hand in my hair tightened—almost desperately—as he started to lose whatever control he had left. Every muscle in his body went taut, trembling like he was about to snap and just when I felt the first stirrings of his impending release, he pulled me off his cock with an obscene noise, bent, grabbed my arms and yanked me to my feet with a growl.

His face was flushed and a muscle in his jaw was ticking feverishly as he spun me around and pressed my front against the cool wood of the desk. I gasped when my hands hit the surface then he distracted me by dragging the thick head of his cock through my soaked folds, teasing me. "Say it," he ordered, voice rough as gravel. "Who do you belong to?"

My breath came in ragged pants, my body shaking so hard I could barely stand. "Y-you," I whimpered, my voice broken and desperate as I fought to keep from rocking my ass back to take his cock inside me. "You—ahhh!"

He slammed into me into one brutal thrust, stealing the breath from my lungs and the words from my lips as he filled me... deeper, rougher than I could remember ever being filled before. His fingers bit into my hips as he pulled me back against him, every movement rough, punishing.

A low, strangled moan tore from my throat as I clawed at the desk for something to hold onto, but everything was out of reach so I dug my fingernails into the shiny surface and held on as my thighs trembled and my pussy fluttered around his hard length, "Caleb! T-too much, I can't—"

"You can," he growled, one hand winding in my braided hair and yanking my head back until I was forced to arch back against his chest. His mouth moved over the sensitive skin at my throat… my shoulder… teeth sinking into the muscle hard enough to make me hiss. The hand on my hip tightened then he whispered in my ear, "Is my cock too much? Do you think I should stop?"

The words were like a jolt of lightning through my body, making every nerve ending come alive. "No," I gasped out, my words strangled and garbled. "Please, don't stop. I need you… please, Caleb, please-"

He let out a sharp growl, his free hand sliding up my side, over my chest and up my neck, fingers brushing against the sensitive underside of my jaw as he forced my head further back until I was looking up at him over my shoulder. "That's right," he murmured, lips hovering over mine. "You need me. No one else. Never anyone else."

I nodded frantically, tears spilling down my cheeks as his grip shifted from my neck to my breast. He tweaked my nipple, rolling the tight bud between his fingers as his movements inside me slowed to an almost agonizing pace as if he was waiting for my verbal answer before he would give me what I needed.

"N-No one else," I sobbed, the truth of it burning through every lie I'd ever told myself.

His eyes darkened with something feral at my surrender before he crushed his mouth to mine in a kiss that felt more like a claim than anything else. And then he started moving—harder, faster, deeper—every thrust punctuated by the sharp slap of skin against skin and the choked-off sounds tearing from my throat.

When he finally broke the kiss for air, I gasped weakly but all I got was another sharp thrust that made stars burst behind my eyelids.

"Open your eyes," he demanded darkly.

I obeyed instantly, forcing my lids open to meet his… violet and burning with something unhinged. My vision was blurred from the tears, but I saw it all—the way his jaw clenched as he watched me, the sweat-slicked muscle of his chest rising and falling too fast.

"You look at me while I’m inside you," he growled when my lashes fluttered dangerously close to shutting again. One hand slid up my body, fingers dragging a possessive path over my trembling stomach, gripping one breast in his large palm briefly before wrapping around my throat.

The desk creaked ominously beneath us as he bent over me, forcing me to lay flat with my ass in the air and his sweat-slick chest pressed against my back while that wicked mouth found the shell of my ear and growled, "Come for me."

It wasn't a request—it was an order laced with dark promise.

And Gods help me... I obeyed instantly.

My body seized, a white-hot explosion tearing through every nerve ending until all I could do was sob out his name over and over like some desperate prayer as my pussy spasmed around his thick cock and my hips stuttered against his.

He didn’t let up for even a second; if anything he fucked into me harder as he chased his release until finally with guttural groan that sounded ripped straight from hell itself… his cock pulsed, hot come soaking my insides then sliding out to drip down my thighs when he pulled out and shoved back in one last time.

He buried his face in the sweaty skin of my shoulder as we both gasped for air and I felt his body trembling before he finally let go of my throat and wrapped his arms around my waist to keep me from collapsing as he pulled me upright. "You think this is over?" His voice was rougher than gravel now—a warning laced through that sentence that made my stomach flip. "I’ve been without you for eighty years, Zaya, I’m nowhere near done with you."

I whimpered when one hand slid up to cup my breast, thumb flicking over my nipple until it peaked while the other hand trailed down between us… dipping lower between my thighs where I could feel his cock still hard inside me. A sharp cry left me when two fingers pushed against my clit without warning.

"C-Caleb! N-No more…"

"Sshh," he whispered as he spun us so his ass was resting against the edge of his desk with an arm around my waist so I was trapped against him while still impaled on his cock. "You can give me a little more. I know you have a little more for me."

I could feel the heat radiating from his bare chest as it pressed against my back, the hard muscles of his abdomen flexing with every slow roll of his hips. His fingers continued their merciless teasing between my thighs, alternating between firm circles on my swollen clit and rough drags where we were connected that made me jerk in his lap.

"Caleb—please," I begged again, though this time it came out more broken than pleading. My body was still oversensitive from the last orgasm he'd wrung from me; tiny aftershocks fluttering through me whenever he moved just right inside me, but my body and mind wanted more. More… more… more.

"What are you begging for?" he murmured. "Are you begging me to stop?"

I whimpered, my head falling back against his shoulder. "I—I don't know, I can't tell anymore," I whispered, my hands reaching down to grip his thighs so I could press my ass back against him.

He chuckled, the hand on my hip sliding up to my throat. "So sensitive," he murmured. "You think I'm being too rough with you?"

I shook my head. "N-No, that's not it… y-you just feel so—" I struggled for the right word. "Intense. You're being so intense, I can't think straight. I-ah!"

My voice cracked as he suddenly pinched my nipple, sending a sharp jolt of pleasure straight to my oversensitive pussy. I clenched around him, which only made his grip tighten further.

"Can’t think straight?" he repeated, his voice dropping into something dangerously low. His fingers tightened around my nipple—just shy of painful—as he ground his hips up into me with a slow, deliberate roll that made my breath hitch. "Hmm… good."

Before I could even process his words, he pulled his cock out of me and lowered me to the floor on my hands and knees with my ass in the air and my legs spread wide before he slammed back inside me to the hilt without warning.

A sharp, strangled cry tore from my throat, my body jerking violently as my fingers clawed at the floor, nails scraping against the polished wood as I fought to adjust to the new position.

"Look at you," he rasped, dragging almost completely out before slamming back in and setting a punishing pace—each snap of his hips punching ragged moans from my lips and sending shocks of white-hot pleasure straight through me until all I could do was shake and beg.

"Y-Yes! Oh yes!" I sobbed, my body convulsing as another orgasm ripped through me. My pussy clenched around his cock like a vice, milking him desperately as he chased his own release with deep, brutal thrusts.

"You take it so well," he muttered against the sweat-slicked skin of my shoulder before sinking his teeth in lightly. His movements stuttered before slowing completely then I felt his cock twitching inside me, hot spurts of come flooding my pussy as he came.

He growled, one hand sliding up to fist in the tangled strands of hair that had fallen from their braids. His free hand trailed down between us where we were still joined and smeared the wetness leaking out around his cock before pushing two fingers inside alongside his softening length just to make sure no more escaped.

A moment later, he pulled out of me and shifted us so I was laying on my back with my legs spread around his waist and his face hovering just above mine. He was close enough that I felt every breath across my face—felt the heat radiating from his body that made me shiver.

Before I could say anything, he was kissing me, his mouth as possessive and greedy as it had been the first time, stealing the words from my tongue before they could form.

I melted into the kiss, my body still trembling from the aftershocks of pleasure as his lips claimed mine. My hands came up to tangle in his dark hair, pulling him closer.

He broke away long enough to growl, "Mine," before diving back in with renewed energy. The word was rough with possession and something darker beneath it… something that made heat pool low in my belly all over again.

My breath hitched when I felt his softening cock twitch against my belly, already stirring back to life between us despite how thoroughly he'd just taken me. "C-Caleb..." His name spilled from swollen lips like a prayer and a warning combined.

He pulled back, his eyes burning into mine, the violet depths stormy with unspent hunger. "I won’t take you again tonight."

The words were more of a vow than a promise, but I still found myself whimpering at the thought of going back upstairs to my cold empty bed after having experienced what it was like to be in his arms. "Why not?" I whispered, my voice trembling slightly.

He was quiet for a moment, his gaze dropping down to my swollen lips then back up to my face. One of his hands stroked gently over my cheek, fingers trailing down my neck and across my jaw before his thumb swiped over my bottom lip.

"Because," he murmured, the word quiet and rough, "I don't think you could handle it."

My breath hitched at the blunt truth in his words. "Okay," I whispered then looked away as a tear escaped down my cheek.

"Don't," he murmured, the rough edge to his voice softening slightly. "Don't look away. You know I don't like that."

I swallowed hard, blinking back another tear as I forced myself to look back up at him, my eyes meeting his steady gaze.

He studied my face for a moment before he let out a long breath and leaned forward so his forehead rested against mine. "Why are you crying?" he whispered, his eyes closed.

"Because," I whispered back, hating the way my voice wavered. "I want you to hold me… I want to sleep beside you but-"

He cut me off with a kiss, his lips moving against mine before he pulled back, "Shut up."

I swallowed hard, my hands trembling as I lifted them to grip his arms to keep him in place. "But I don't want to go back to my room. I want—"

He shushed me gently, his hand cupping my chin to tilt my face up so I was looking at him. "What did I just say?"

I bit my lip, feeling a fresh wave of tears well up as I stared at him. "Y-You told me to shut up," I murmured, the words shaky with vulnerability.

He let out an exasperated sigh and got to his feet before pulling me up and yanking me against his chest in one rough motion. His arms locked around me like steel bands, trapping my face in the crook of his neck where sweat still clung to his warm skin and the scent of whiskey mixed with something uniquely him.

"You’re not going back to your room," he muttered into my hair, voice gravelly but firm enough that it brooked no argument. "Ever." A pause as if daring me to protest before adding gruffly, "Now stop crying, sweet girl."

As his words sank in, a wave of relief washed over me, quickly followed by a rush of fear and uncertainty. Did he mean I would be going to another room? His room? Or was he done with me and something was going to happen to me?

"What do you mean, ever?" I whispered into the damp skin of his neck, my fingers gripping his arms a little tighter.

He let out a low growl, pulling me closer until every inch of our naked bodies was pressed together. I felt so small and fragile against his muscular frame, like a doll in the arms of a giant.

"I mean exactly what I said," he muttered, his breath warm against my ear. "You're not spending another night in some cold, lonely bed. You’ll spend the rest of our days in my bed… in my arms… where you belong."

I let out a tiny, startled gasp as he lifted me effortlessly—my legs instinctively wrapping around his waist while my arms clutched at his shoulders. His bare chest was warm against mine, the sweat-slicked skin making it hard to grip properly as he carried me out of his study, down a hallway I’d never been in before and into a huge bedroom.

The room was dimly lit by the moonlight filtering through large windows that overlooked the lotus pond. It was decorated in dark colors, with oak furniture and deep purple and green accents. There was a large fireplace built into the far wall with a comfortable-looking leather chair and a matching couch with a low coffee table in front of them.

The bed was massive, taking up nearly half of one side of the room with its king-size frame with a dark purple comforter, fluffy pillows and half a dozen throw pillows in various shades of green and gold. Beside it stood a massive oak dresser and a bedside table, both covered in various knick-knacks and pictures that I couldn’t see in the dark. There was a door leading off to an equally lavish bathroom and another door that probably led into a closet.

He didn’t set me down until we reached the bed—then promptly dropped me onto the cool silk with zero ceremony. I bounced slightly before scrambling further up the bed on trembling elbows as he crawled over me like a predator, one knee sinking into the mattress between my thighs as he caged me beneath him in an instant.

"Stay."

The word was said in a dark, gravelly voice that made me shiver with a combination of fear and desire. My eyes widened as I trembled beneath him, suddenly feeling far too vulnerable with nothing but air between us.

"What are you going to do?" I whispered, my voice barely audible even to my own ears.

The low light coming through the window cast shadows across his face, his features set in a feral expression that made my breath catch in my chest.

"I want to take you again but I’m not sure you can handle that right now," he growled, leaning down so our faces were just inches apart. "But for now… we’re going to sleep. In the morning… we will talk."

He didn't say anything else as he rolled off me onto his back, pulling me against his side a second later. My head ended up on his chest, just above his heart, and I lay still, listening to the faint but steady thump of it beneath my ear as he started running his fingers through my tangled hair.

We lay in silence, listening to the sound of each other breathing as the room around us slowly cooled. I could almost hear my own heart slowing to beat in time with his own, the fear draining slowly out of me with each pass of his fingers through my hair.

I could feel my eyelids getting heavier as exhaustion set in, the events of the night finally catching up to me. Just as I was on the edge of sleep, he let out a frustrated growl then his voice broke through the silence, gruff and rough, "Sit up."

I froze at the rough command, my heart suddenly racing and a lump forming in my throat. I swallowed hard before awkwardly pushing myself up, my body trembling. My skin prickled with uncertainty as I waited for whatever he was going to do, my mind racing with a thousand different possibilities, none of them good.

He sat up behind me a second later, the mattress shifting under his weight, and one of his large hands came up to rest on my shoulder, silently commanding me to stay still. The without a word, his hands went to my hair and he started to unwind the braids, extracting the white lace, ribbons and flowers and tossing them onto the floor.

I shivered as his fingers worked through the tangled strands, my silver hair unraveling around us in soft waves that fell over my shoulders and into my face. Each tug sent a jolt of sensation down my spine—too sharp to be gentle, but not enough to hurt.

"Caleb..." I whispered, unsure if I was protesting or pleading.

He didn’t answer… just tightened his grip on the chunk of hair in his grip slightly before loosening it again when he felt me tense. When the braids finally came undone completely and all the decorations were in a small pile on the floor, he let out an annoyed breath.

"You will not allow another to touch your hair ever again. Understood?" he muttered darkly while running one hand down the now-loosened mass.

"Yes," I whispered, my heart skipping a beat at his words. The way he was holding my hair… his hand sliding through the strands like he owned it… it sent a shiver down my spine because it was almost as if he was jealous? of the maid who had braided it. "I won't… never again."

He let out another rough exhale through his nose before dragging me back against him with one sharp tug on my unraveled hair, forcing me to arch into him slightly so he could press his lips against the side of my neck in something too possessive to be called just a kiss. "Good girl."

I whimpered at the words—the praise making me shiver even while his possessive tone made me want to squirm. I felt so vulnerable right now, so confused as to what in the hell was going on… caught between wanting to flee back to my lonely, cold room and wanting to melt into him. "Caleb… I…"

He cut me off with a soft shush, his hand tightening in my hair again just enough to send a spark of awareness through me. "Quiet," he growled against my skin before inhaling deeply. "Sleep now… talk later."

I let out a shaky breath and nodded weakly, my body growing limp in his arms while I focused on the steady beat of his heart against my back while he slowly ran his fingers through my hair. It was a small comfort in this strange and uncertain situation and I found myself clinging to that steady rhythm as I tried to quiet my rapidly swirling thoughts.

After a few minutes, his grip in my hair loosened and he shifted, pulling me with him until we were lying down again. This time, he pulled the comforter over us before wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling me against his chest.

I closed my eyes and listened to his heartbeat as it began to slow, the steady thump-thump-thump almost like a lullaby. My head was spinning with a million questions and emotions, but right now… it was just too much to think about. So, I forced those thoughts away, focused on the feel of his skin against mine and the way the heat was slowly soaking from his body into mine.

For now… I would let this be enough. I would sleep… and tomorrow, we could talk.

In her memories, she’s sitting in a lab. 

The room is bright and clinical, all white paint and cold steel benches, with grates to better contain any contamination. 

“Now, let us turn our attention to the amygdala,” says the anatomist guiding today’s session. 

The very air is filtered, sterile, dry. It irritates the epithelial lining of her trachea, drying out the protective layer of mucus. She doesn’t cough, however, despite her body’s desire for it. 

Instead, she sits with the discomfort, turning it over in her head. 

Testing the mastery of her mind. 

“Sitting at the anterior, or rostral, end of the hippocampus. While it can be involved with positive emotion, it is best known for its role in fear, and has a role in storing memories associated with stress,” he continues.  

The other students are fixed on his every breath – not even a second can be wasted in a course like this, where peers are turned on each other for sport. 

Not that she cares, particularly… Instead, she focuses on the set-up before her, pristine and unintruded upon. Technically, she’s part of a group, not that one would know it. She makes a point of being perfectly pleasant, yet they still maintain an unconscious distance. 

This is a favourable turn of events, all things considered: it means she never has to share her cadavers. 

“When stimulated, it elicits subjective emotional response, and can be observed to have an effect on the autonomic nervous system. That is, it prepares the body for fight or flight…” She lets the professor continue, dividing her attention as she observes the specimen before her. 

It is a light, greyed pink colour, flushed out by the embalming process. The meningeal membranes have been carefully dissected away, the brain itself halved at the corpus callosum. 

With a curious finger, she traces along the seam of it. Sliding along its curve, feeling the cool wetness of it through the barrier of her gloves. 

Finally, she arrives at the amygdala. 

“...we move to the hippocampus. The hippocampus is an essential part of memory formation. It receives sensory information from the entorhinal cortex, consolidating it before passing it along to the cerebral cortex. The hippocampus is also responsible for calming the amygdala. In situations of post-traumatic stress disorder, this ability is impaired, leading to anxiety, hypervigilance, increased stress, and flashbacks of the event. This can also impact the frontal cortex, deteriorating logical reasoning abilities and increasing impulsivity… These symptoms can be incredibly severe, and may persist indefinitely without adequate treatment…” 

Decades, she thinks as she presses her nails into the flesh. Like the other students, her nails are short and clean and, as such, do not cause damage. Her thoughts, however, hold a distinct kind of edge to them. 

Millions of years of evolution, she marvels, yet we so easily revert to mere animals, dictated by instinct… All because of this little thing... 

The professor is still talking, pointing out the anatomical features of each structure, walking them through the short term memory circuits, explaining what happens when each stage is affected. 

It’s pathetic, really, she concludes and, this time, there’s something tender in her touch. But in a way, it’s also beautiful, how tenacious the desire for life is. How vicious our survival instincts become…

All one needs is a little pressure, in the right spot, and... 

…The smell of formaldehyde is making her hungry. 

She notes that too. The way she is becoming increasingly aware of the fact that the specimen in her hands is nothing more than a piece of meat. 

Briefly, she wonders whose brain she’s holding in her hands. 

Wonders, in a sudden fit of pique, what would happen if she crushed it beneath her fist. How the flesh would feel as it gave way beneath her fingers. 

If they ever imagined this while signing their body away, her fingers violating the most intimate parts of them…

…Instead of giving in or shying away from the urge, she holds it in place. 

Turns her full attention back on the professor. “Now,” he says with a smile as bright as the overhead lights, and just as colourless, “let’s talk about the basal ganglia…” 

The room she’s in right now is just as white, just as sterile. 

Rather than a piece of cadaver, however, there is a living boy’s head in her hands, his plump cheek pressing into her palms. 

They’d been studying together fairly diligently until five minutes ago, at which point he started exhibiting signs of resistance. 

She takes him in. His pretty face. His dark hair, slightly brittle from the lack of humidity – she ought to bring some deep-conditioning products next time he’s scheduled for a trim. His lips are chapped too. She needs to find a way to ensure he drinks enough water when she’s away. 

“Come on,” she says, pitching her voice until it’s soft. Encouraging. Some amusement slips in there, unintentionally. “Let’s try the next question.” 

She hadn’t been lying when she told him she thought his eyes were beautiful – right now, looking up at her beneath those dark, doll-like lashes, they’re more sunbeam than dusk. Pleading orange glinting under the fluorescents.

“Do I have to?” he sighs, a faint petulance in his tone.

She makes a mental mark of it. 

It’s been happening more, recently. 

That is not a desirable sign. 

He's getting too comfortable...

“Of course,” she says. Cannot help but swipe her thumb along his cheek, feeling the baby fat squish beneath her touch. “Don’t bother pretending that it’s too hard. The real problem is that you think it’s boring.” 

“Because it is boring!” he pouts. 

She laughs at him, a ghost of a thing in her chest that makes another part of her stand to attention. The hair on the back of her neck goes rigid. 

She pulls her hand away, not hurried but intent, and places it in her lap. 

He nearly buckles at the sudden lack of support, but manages to catch himself. 

“It may be boring,” she acknowledges, “but it is necessary. You need to know the rules in order to break them with precision. And you,” she fixes him with a look, “are in dire need of precision.” 

Heat blooms across his cheeks as he thinks of the disaster of their latest experiment. Those eyes sidle away, embarrassment feeding the indigo. 

She studies him. 

In fairness, he’s still a remarkable child. 

To have the control he does at only eleven is a thing to marvel over. 

Unfortunately, ‘excellent for his age’ just isn’t enough in this world. 

He needs to be perfect. 

He needs to be indispensable.

“Let’s go over it again,” she tells him, a little more urgently. “What is Newton’s second law of motion?” She ignores his groan, adding: “If it helps, you can consider there to be a secondary objective.” 

“What’s that?” he asks warily. 

A smile tugs her lips, “The development of discipline.” 

He eyes her for an equally long moment and she feels it again – that breath of danger, the hair on the back of her arms coming to attention. 

He bites his lip, fidgeting for a moment. Then takes a deep breath. “Newton’s second law of motion,” he begins and, if she hadn’t been present for it, she’d never have known of his small tantrum, “states that the time rate of change of the momentum of a body is equal in both magnitude and direction to the force imposed on it. This can be described as the equation ‘F = ma’...”

The breath she’s been holding unbidden releases. 

Chapter 8

Sylus let out a low snarl, the sound dangerous as he grabbed the wrist of the hand that was in his hair and twisted until Caleb let go. Caleb took a step back as Sylus came off the bed in one smooth movement, fists clenched and breathing hard.

"What are you doing here?"

Caleb stared at him for several seconds, his gaze slowly sliding down his naked body with a look I couldn’t place before rising back to Sylus’ face. "Just stopping by to check on Bay…" he said then his gaze shifted to me and I saw a dark glint in his eyes, a hunger I had never seen before, "I was… rough last night."

The tension in Sylus’ body increased, his jaw clenching and fists tightening so the muscles in his arms visibly flexed. He didn't take his gaze off Caleb, his expression cold as he growled, "She’s fine. You can go."

Caleb’s gaze moved back to Sylus, "No. I want to see her."

I could feel the air in the room grow tense as I slowly sat up and moved to the edge of the bed, dragging a blanket over my body as some sort of shield from what was happening. I wanted to say something… anything to stop this confrontation from happening but… I knew that if I did it might make this whole situation worse.

Sylus’ gaze darkened, the muscles in his jaw flexing. "You see her. She’s fine. Now go."

But Caleb didn’t move, his lips curving up into a smirk as his eyes flicked to me again before he looked back at Sylus, his voice low and almost mocking as he took a step closer to the other man. "I'd rather… stay… and see for myself how… fine she really is…"

"She. Is. Fine," Sylus ground out through clenched teeth. "I was taking care of her…"

Caleb took another step, standing so close that if Sylus moved even an inch, they would be touching.

My heart slammed in my chest, my mind racing as my eyes moved back and forth between them while the air in the room crackled with tension… and something else? Something that felt like lust and hunger?

No, I was imagining things… wasn’t I?

Caleb’s voice dropped to a mere whisper as his gaze flicked over to where I was for a split second, a smirk twisting his lips before turning his gaze back to Sylus. "She was whimpering… begging for my cock last night. I know you heard her… know you probably laid in your bed wondering what I was doing to her to make her make all those pretty little noises."

Sylus’ lips twisted into a smirk as he leaned down until his face was inches from Caleb’s. "You seem to be forgetting one thing… I had her begging for my cock first."

Caleb's expression darkened at that, his jaw clenching as his gaze flicked back to me again.

I could see the anger and… jealousy in his eyes as he looked at me sitting on the edge of the bed where it was obvious what he had interrupted… his gaze grew even darker when he looked back up at Sylus…

His eyes roved over Sylus's face, his heated gaze dropping lower to his neck, his shoulders, his chest… and I could tell he was looking at all the marks I had left on Sylus’ skin.

"Hmm… she really likes to leave marks when she’s getting what she wants, doesn’t she?" he mumbled, reaching up and touching the side of Sylus's neck, slender fingers tracing over the bruise on the juncture between shoulder and neck.

That simple action had them both tensing but Caleb didn’t move his hand away from Sylus’ skin… instead he let out a low, dark chuckle as his fingers traced over another bruise on Sylus’ chest before pulling the neckline of his shirt aside to show Sylus the marks I had left on him the night before, "She is… a territorial little thing, isn't she?"

The muscle in Sylus jaw clenched again, his hand coming up to grip Caleb’s wrist and push his hand away from his skin. "It's time for you to go."

"I don't think so..." Caleb said, pulling his wrist out of Sylus’ grip and stepping around him, "I want to talk to Bay, alone... without you here playing overprotective boyfriend."

Sylus' gaze darkened as he spun around, grabbing Caleb’s arm before he could reach the bed. "Like hell. I'm not leaving her alone with you."

"And why not?" Caleb hissed back, eyes narrowing as he tried to pull his arm free.

"Because I don't trust you," was the cool, cold reply.

"And why's that? Afraid I’ll fuck her again when you’re not looking?"

Sylus' glare sharpened as he pulled Caleb closer by his shirt, "Watch your tongue… I don't have a problem putting you on your ass if you keep running your mouth."

My eyes darted between them again, fear twisting my gut.

This was about to turn ugly. They were both so volatile, so dangerous, so possessive… and I was caught in the middle.

I couldn’t let this keep going… not when I was the cause of this whole mess in the first place. I slowly stood up, pulling the blanket tighter around myself and my voice was soft when I spoke, "Stop… please… both of you."

They froze, their eyes snapping to me as the anger and tension vanished in an instant then they both spoke at the same time, their voices overlapping.

"Bay…"

"Kitten…"

Hearing them say my name at the same time was like being struck by lightning but I swallowed the sudden rush of feelings and emotion, holding the blanket tight against me as I stepped forward, standing between the two of them and looking first at Sylus then at Caleb before whispering, "Don't fight… please."

Both men seemed to freeze at my plea, their eyes locked on me waiting… watching

Slowly, almost as if I was handling two wild animals, I turned, putting my back against Sylus’ chest and looking up at Caleb. "Please… just listen…"

A few long moments passed then Caleb's expression softened. He slowly reached out and took one of my hands in his, his gaze flicking from my face to where I was snuggled back against Sylus’ chest then he nodded, "Fine."

Sylus growled softly, his chest pressed to my back and his hand gripping my hip so tightly it hurt. He was still tense... his body coiled and his heart thumping wildly against my back... ready to attack in an instant.

"Sylus… please…" I murmured softly.

He took a deep breath and his grip loosened slightly. He was still glaring at Caleb, but this time the look in his eyes was calmer... less intense.

I sighed again and looked up at Caleb, "I don’t know how else to ease into what I’m about to say so I’m gonna just say it…"

"Say what?" Caleb asked, a wary look in his eyes as he looked down at me.

I chewed anxiously on my bottom lip, a habit I had never been able to get rid of and it was a while before I spoke again, "Last night... I wanted what happened… have wanted it for a while. But Caleb… I want Sylus too. I… I want you both. Want to be with you both. Not just one… both."

Sylus tensed again, clearly remembering the conversation we had had earlier, while Caleb's expression darkened. The tension in the room spiked again as they both stared at me without speaking.

I knew Sylus had told me Caleb most likely wouldn’t agree to the idea… it was insane… greedy even to want both men, but it was what I wanted… needed. I knew it was impossible… ridiculous even. But the more I thought about it… the more I wanted it. I wanted them both and I was determined to fight for it… and I could only hope they would be too.

I took a deep breath and continued, my voice almost lost among the heavy silence. "I know it's crazy… but it doesn't have to be. We can... figure it out. All three of us."

A few long moments passed in tense silence before Caleb slowly spoke, his words careful and cautious, "Let me get this straight… you… want both of us. At the same time. You want both of us to be your… what… boyfriends?"

I nodded, the words soft and shy when I answered, "Y-Yes… yes I do."

"And you expect us to just... share you… with no jealousy or fighting?" Caleb's tone was flat, his expression unreadable.

"Yes."

The word was so soft, so quiet and unsure as I got the feeling that I should stop and go no further but I pushed myself to say it, to show that I was confident that this was what I wanted.

Sylus was still tense against my back, his hands flexing slightly against my sides, his breathing deep and slow as if he was holding himself back from saying something, but we had already had this conversation, and he had warned me, but I hadn’t listened and now I couldn’t help but think I had made a big mistake.

Caleb's eyes flicked to Sylus for a second before returning to stare at me, then he took a breath and asked, "You realize how crazy that sounds, don't you?"

My lips parted at the harshness to his tone, and I stared at him for a moment.

"Caleb…"

He held up a hand and shook his head, the anger gone from his face and replaced with a deep frown, "No... you don't get to look at me like that. You don't get to ask me to… share you. Not after last night. Not after I finally gave in to what I’ve wanted for years and got my hands on your body and my mouth on your skin. I’m not sharing you… not with him…" he pointed at Sylus then out the window, "… not with anyone. You want me? You get me… and only me."

A hiss came from Sylus. "Listen to yourself. You really think she belongs to you because you got what you wanted for one night?"

Caleb’s gaze snapped to Sylus and if looks could kill Sylus would be six feet deep.

My heart was in my throat as they stared at each other. I knew that I should have just kept my mouth shut, but it was too late to back down now… so I kept going.

"Caleb… please. Just listen to me…"

"No," he snapped, his gaze returning to me, "I told you how it’s gonna be. Me or him. You don’t get both, Bay."

His words were like a blow to the gut, and my body started to tremble as I tried to speak. This wasn't how this was supposed to go… I was expecting this to be difficult, I was expecting some resistance, some anger, but not this… not this coldness… not this refusal to listen… not this ultimatum.

Sylus' body felt like a tightly coiled spring behind me, his hands clenching into fists so tightly that I heard his knuckles cracking and he growled softly like a panther about to strike.

Caleb's eyes were locked on mine, his gaze intense and unyielding… and I could see the anger and determination in his eyes… but there was something else there too.

A dark glint… a possessiveness that sent a shiver down my spine.

"Choose. Me. Or him," he repeated.

I stared at him… frozen… torn between what I wanted and what he was demanding. I loved them both. I wanted them both and the thought of having to choose between them… of having to give up one of them made my head spin.

Caleb let out a frustrated growl when I didn’t give him an answer right away then he was reaching out to lift my chin. "How about a little reminder then, huh?"

Then before I could say anything his mouth was on mine.

My eyes widened, my breath faltering as he pulled me onto my toes, his hand sliding into my hair, gripping it tightly as he deepened the kiss, his tongue plunging deep before I could even think of resisting.

It was an onslaught of teeth, lips and tongue, a possessive kiss that left me breathless, and I felt my knees begin to buckle as he held me up, his body pressed tightly against mine so I was sandwiched between him and Sylus… and I felt like I was drowning in sensations of what I wanted most but was being denied.

His hand tightened in my hair as if sensing my thoughts, keeping my head still, forcing me to take everything he was giving… demanding my submission.

Sylus let out a low, vicious growl from behind me and I felt his chest press to my back as he leaned down, his breath hot against my ear as he whispered, "Enough…"

Caleb stopped, breaking the kiss, his lips just a fraction of an inch from mine as he slowly pulled back, his eyes never leaving my face, drinking in my flushed skin and dazed expression.

There was a dark look in his gaze, an intensity that was almost feral and I could feel the possessive energy radiating off him in waves as he slowly ran his thumb over my lower lip, wiping away the moisture from our kiss…

"So sweet," he mumbled, tongue flicking out to swipe across his lips as if trying to capture my taste. "Remember, Bay, remember how it felt and tell me we wouldn’t be good together."

Then he took a step back, his gaze dropping from my face and moving over my body… lingering on the blanket wrapped around me.

My heart was pounding, my mind was a confused mess, and I felt like I was spinning out of control... until I felt Sylus' hand slide over my hip and it calmed me enough to pay attention.

Caleb took another step back, his gaze moving from me to Sylus and back then his eyes narrowed. "You know where to find me when you make up your mind."

Sylus kept his arms around me, his body tense and rigid as Caleb spun on his heel and left as silently as he had come. Once the front door slammed shut, Sylus spun me around and took my face in his hands, forcing me to look up at him.

His gaze was dark, intense… almost frenzied as his eyes searched mine.

"What the hell were you thinking, baby?" he growled, his voice low and rough, "What the hell were you expecting him to say?"

I swallowed hard, guilt clawing at my chest. I had messed up… made a mistake but hearing it out loud hurt more than I had expected.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, trying to ignore the shame that was making my heart ache and tears pool at the corners of my eyes.

"I just…" I trailed off and opened my eyes to look up at him, the tears escaping and running down my cheeks. "I just wanted everything to work out… I thought… he would at least…" I trailed off again and shrugged, dropping my gaze to the floor.

He sighed and used two fingers under my chin to lift my face then his thumbs were smoothing away the tears from my cheeks.

"You thought he might consider it…"

I nodded and wrapped my arms around myself, suddenly feeling cold.

His hands lingered on my face for a moment before dropping away and he exhaled loudly, raking both hands through his hair then he was reaching out and lifting me into his arms. He cradled me against his chest and I buried my face in his neck, trying to suppress the tears that were still falling as he sat on the edge of the bed.

He held me for a long while, his arms tight around me and his face buried my hair, just letting me burrow into him as he held me… protected me.

Finally, I took a deep breath and whispered, "I'm sorry…"

For a long moment he didn't answer. Just held me tighter, his breath warm against my skin as he exhaled slowly and his lips brushed against my hair.

"I know…" He mumbled, the words so soft I almost missed them.

I knew he wasn't angry with me; I could feel the concern and worry coming off him and it had the tears flowing harder as I clung to him tighter.

He held me until the tears had stopped and my breathing was almost back to normal. I was exhausted and probably would have fallen asleep snuggled in his lap, but he slowly pulled back and forced me to look at him.

"Let’s get some sleep… we can worry about everything tomorrow, okay?"

I nodded, too tired to argue.

I felt drained both physically and emotionally and I needed the rest. We could deal with the aftermath in the morning, right now I just wanted to crawl into bed and sleep in his arms.

He gently unwrapped me from my blanket cocoon then laid me down before climbing in beside me and pulling me close until I was tucked against him. His chest was warm and solid and comforting as I curled against him and he pulled the blankets over us, his fingers stroking my hair as his arm wrapped around me.

His touch was soothing, calming… and I felt my eyes getting heavy as he pressed a soft kiss to my forehead and whispered, "It's gonna be alright…"

And with those words swirling in my mind I finally fell asleep, wrapped up in the warmth and security of his arms, and hoping that he was right.

When I woke the next morning, the sun was streaming through the curtains and I let out a long, drowsy sigh as I stretched… and then reached out to feel the cold, empty space next to me.

For a moment I thought I had imagined the whole thing, that last night had been dream… but then the memories started rushing back and I groaned, burying my face in my pillow.

What the hell had I been thinking? I had asked Caleb for the impossible… to share me… and it had blown up in my face… and worse… I had hurt Sylus... and now he was gone too.

I laid there for a long while, my eyes squeezed shut as if that would make everything that had happened the night before disappear. I didn't want to deal with it… didn't want to deal with the fact that I had made such a mess of everything and ruined friendships that had lasted years in the span of a few minutes.

I would have stayed in bed until I had to go to work and face them both but the clock on the nightstand continued to tick, the sun shifted higher in the sky and no matter how much I wished the world would stop, the seconds… minutes… hours kept passing.

Finally, I groaned, pushing the blankets away and climbing out of bed.

My body was tired and sore from having so much sex when I had gone months without, my head hurt… and I needed a shower.

The water was hot, a little too hot but it was exactly what I needed, the water running over my body, the steam floating around me felt like a comforting blanket.

I stood there for a long time trying to clear my mind… but the thoughts were still there… going around in circles.

It was almost an hour later when I finally emerged from the bathroom, my hair wrapped up in a towel and dressed in a pair of shorts, a tank top and my favorite pair of slippers. I felt a little more like myself… but the knot of anxiety in my stomach was still there.

The silence was deafening when I stepped out of my bedroom… and I could feel the emptiness as I made my way down the hall.

I hesitated at the threshold to the kitchen… wondering if I should reconsider staying in bed and hiding for a few more hours but my stomach growled and made the decision for me. I needed to eat… and a little food would probably help my headache.

The coffee maker was gurgling quietly on the counter and the sun coming through the windows when I stepped fully into my kitchen… everything looked so peaceful but it just made me feel more alone.

I sighed and padded over to the cabinets, pulling out a box of cereal and a bowl before pouring myself a generous portion and adding milk before sitting down to eat.

It tasted like cardboard on my tongue and I had to force myself to swallow each bite.

When I was done, I put the bowl in the sink and looked around feeling lost… and wondering where Sylus was and why he had left me in the middle of the night. The shop was closed on Sundays, so he wasn’t needed there… so where was he?

There was a sudden knock at the door and my heart lurched in my chest as I froze, my body going tense and my eyes darting around the room like the sunlight or the loan fly buzzing around in the corner could tell me who was on the other side.

The knock came again, louder this time and I slowly padded over to see who it was.

When I opened the door, the last person I expected to see was standing on the other side.

It took me a moment to process the sight of Caleb standing there, his expression blank as if he hadn’t handed out an ultimatum the night before then left with the parting words that made it clear he didn’t want to speak to me unless I made a choice.

Surprise turned to confusion as I stared up at him. What was he doing here? And more importantly… where the hell was Sylus? Had something happened to him and Caleb was here to tell me? What was going on?

"Can I come in?" he asked, taking a step closer, forcing me to step back and let him in.

I could feel anxiety and worry twisting my stomach as I nodded and closed the door behind him, "Yeah… yeah sure…"

His gaze swept over me, slowly roaming over my body and I felt suddenly very exposed standing in front of him in just a tank top and shorts after what had happened the night before. "Is he still here?"

I looked up at him for a moment before slowly shaking my head and hugging myself as his gaze dropped to my bare legs where the hem of my shorts rested high on my thighs displaying the love bites on my pale skin.

"I… he's not here… he left in the middle of the night."

I was starting to feel uncomfortable with the intensity in his gaze, and I took a few steps backwards to put distance between us until my legs hit the couch.

He followed me and I froze, my heart racing as he stopped in front of me then reached out and cupped my chin, his gaze searching as he looked down at me with an expression that was almost predatory. "Good… did you make a choice?"

His thumb brushed over my skin, tracing my bottom lip and I felt goosebumps break out on my skin.

"N-no," I whispered, my voice shaking slightly even though I tried to keep it even.

"No?" he repeated quietly, his thumb moving lower to trace over the love bite at the base of my neck. My skin prickled with awareness and something else as his eyes locked on the mark, studying it before he asked, "You still think you can have us both, huh?"

Before I could answer his hand was knocking the towel off my head and gripping my hair, forcing my head back to leave my neck almost painfully exposed. His thumb pressed harder against the love bite, the pressure enough to bring a soft gasp from my lips.

"You think this is a game?" he murmured, the words hot on my skin.

"No…" I gasped, my knees trembling as he crowded into my space. I had never been more terrified and turned on at the same time.

"Then you better start making up your mind soon…"

The look in his eyes was intense, a mixture of anger and desire that seemed to be warring with each other and it made my heart constrict.

He leaned closer, his lips almost touching the shell of my ear as his voice dropped to a low growl. "… I won't wait forever… so choose wisely."

Before I could even think of a response, he was releasing me, stepping back while staring at me intently and then he was turning to leave without another word.

I watched him walk out the door, my legs shaking and my head spinning, a strange mix of desire and fear coursing through me at the same time. I had never experienced anything like this before… had never felt this mix of emotions and feelings…

I sank down on the couch then just sat there for a while as his words played through my mind again and again… like a broken record.

There was no way I could choose… no way I could live without them now that I had had them both and the thought of having to let either one of them go made my eyes burn with tears.

My thoughts were a chaotic jumble, my mind a tangled mess of worry and confusion and I knew staying in my apartment wasn't going to help. I needed to get out, go outside, breath some fresh air, anything so I didn't drive myself crazy sitting around all day.

After getting dressed, I grabbed my phone and keys before leaving the apartment and locking the door behind me then I started walking towards the park.

The walk was calming, the sun shining brightly and the slight breeze helping to clear my head. The park was quiet, only a few people milling about… a mother watching her kid on a tricycle, a couple of joggers talking animatedly about something, and a man painting underneath a tree while a woman and two children ate a picnic lunch beside him.

I sat down on a bench, leaning back and closing my eyes, enjoying the peace as I sat there.

An hour passed, with only the sounds of the park filling the air and my mind slowly calming down to a quiet hum when my phone suddenly buzzed in my pocket, the noise making me flinch and my heart race.

My hand shook as I pulled the phone out and my heart lurched when I saw who it was… Sylus. I hesitated, my finger hovering over the answer button but finally I decided against it and hit the button to ignore the call instead.

It was a coward's move, but I couldn't help it. I needed time to think, time to sort out the mess I had made, and talking right now was not going to help.

So I sat there, staring at the phone and waiting for it to ring again and trying not to cry.

It rang four more times, each buzz making my anxiety climb higher until it was almost unbearable.

When it stopped, I let out a shaky breath, my eyes pricking with tears that I tried to blink back. I knew I had to talk to him... talk to Caleb… make a decision of some kind… but not right now… it was too soon.

I let my head fall back against the back of the bench, closing my eyes and doing my best to calm the emotions twisting through me again and to hold back the tears that were threatening.

But the tears came anyway, slipping down my cheeks as the weight of everything that had happened suddenly crashed down on me. I was so damn tired of it all… tired of the way I felt, tired of my brain going in circles, tired of not knowing what to do, and I was tired of feeling guilty… for everything. A sob escaped me as I finally gave up fighting, and one by one the tears trailed down my cheeks. I was a mess, this was my fault… my stupid, selfish mistake and there was no going back.

Chapter 15: Love

Hayley

Fingers combing through my hair woke me the next morning.

Sighing, I snuggled closer and buried my face against Caleb’s chest.

"Hmm… morning."

"Mornin', angel. You sleep alright?"

I hummed, not opening my eyes and just relishing the feeling of waking up in his arms. It was a dream come true.

"Mhmm… best sleep I've had in ages."

Last night… had been one of the best nights of my life.

Hearing him tell me he loved me had been surprising because I had never thought our relationship could ever go beyond friendship.

I had been prepared to live out the rest of my days as his friend and nothing more… loving him from afar as he went about his life, eventually finding another woman to love and cherish and eventually marry.

But then he had invited me here… to this beautiful cabin in the middle of nowhere and I couldn’t help the hope that something would happen between us because a male friend didn’t invite their female friend on a vacation alone, right?

He had been fine when he picked me up from my house and helped me load my bags into the back of his truck.

Had taken Sadie’s teasing about the romantic vacation getaway he had planned at face value and had teased me when that had made me blush.

On the way up the mountainside things had been normal between us…

It was only after we had arrived at the cabin that I noticed his nervousness and I had thought maybe he had been regretting his choice to bring me here, so I had tried to do the normal things we always did when we spent time together… made lunch, tease him and joke around with him.

I thought it had worked but then he had spent a few hours avoiding me.

I was tempted to call Sadie to come get me, but I had wanted to stay, spend time with him even though he was acting strangely.

Finding the library had been a godsend, so I had settled down in front of the fire and started reading to take my mind off things.

Then he had found me, acting all mysterious… and I had wondered what he was up to.

Smores around a firepit and a confession that he was as in love with me as I was with him wasn’t what I had been expecting at all.

But it had made me happy and giddy, and I felt the need to shout it to the mountainside.

His hand running up and down my back in a lazy, soothing motion drew my attention away from my thoughts and back to him.

"That so? I got a good night's sleep, too... being able to hold you all night definitely helped."

I felt my cheeks flush and a soft smile spread across my lips.

After coming inside, we crawled into bed and talked for a while until we fell asleep and I was okay with that. I wasn’t ready for more and I had a feeling he wasn’t either.

He had held me the entire night... like he was afraid I would vanish if he let go for even a second, and I had been just as reluctant to not have his arms around me.

His lips brushed the top of my head, and I heard his soft sigh.

"We should get up, angel."

"Don't want to," I mumbled into his chest. "Want to stay like this a little longer."

A low rumbling chuckle made his chest vibrate against my cheek.

"C'mon, angel. The day's a-wasting and I have plans."

A small frown appeared on my face, and I sighed.

I really didn't want to leave the warmth of his arms… I could happily stay here in this bed with him until it was time to go home.

"No. Don't wanna."

He chuckled again then rolled us so he was leaning over me.

"Too bad. We have to get up."

He looked down at me, a smile playing at the corners of his lips, and despite the part of me that wanted to just pout and stay right where we were, I found myself smiling back, my heart skipping in my chest.

"You're mean," I accused him with no heat in my voice.

"I prefer the term 'determined'. And you love me."

I hummed, lifting my hand and tracing the sharp lines of his jaw with my fingers.

"Mmm I do..." I whispered. "So much… can we just have a lazy morning in bed?"

He seemed to be contemplating it for a few moments before a slow, almost devious grin spread across his lips.

"You are a very persuasive little minx, you know that?"

He leaned down, and my breath caught in my throat as he pressed his lips to mine. His mouth moved over mine, his kiss slow, deep, and gentle but at the same time making my body come alive.

I let out a soft gasp, my fingers curling into the material of his T-shirt as he pressed me down into the bed with the weight of his body.

His tongue traced the outline of my mouth teasingly, the action causing shivers to run down my spine and sending a jolt of heat pooling low in my belly as I opened my mouth to let him in.

My hands slid up his arms, enjoying the feel of muscles under my fingers as he shifted, positioning himself between my thighs but making sure not to press too much of weight on me, and I couldn't help the little moan that slipped out.

He broke the kiss, moving his lips to my jaw then down the side of my neck.

"Mmm… you're making me want to stay right here, angel."

"That was the idea…" I breathed, tilting my head to the side to give him more room.

He chuckled, his teeth nipping tenderly at the sensitive skin.

"You're a bad influence but… I have plans for us sooo…" He pulled back with a grin and tapped my nose. "… time to get up."

I pouted again, my arms tightening around him.

"Just five more minutes? Please..."

He laughed and grabbed my hands.

"I can't say no to that cute pout, but we really need to get up. I made some plans for us… we can stay in bed all day tomorrow."

"You suck..."

"I know, I know," he chuckled again and leaned down to kiss the tip of my nose before rolling out of bed, ignoring my protests when the warm blanket of his body left me. "Come on, angel. I don't wanna hear it, get up."

Sighing and resigning myself to getting up, I sat up and ran a hand through my messy hair.

"Fine… but you're still mean."

"Good thing you love me then." With a smirk, he arched an eyebrow and said, "Now, what do I need to do to get you out of that bed? Do I need to throw you over my shoulder?"

"You wouldn't dare," I said, trying to sound offended but it was difficult when I was trying not to smile.

His smirk turned into a wicked grin.

"Try me," he said, putting a knee on the bed beside me. "Don't think I won't."

I watched him for a moment, trying to decide if he was serious, but the gleam in his eyes was all the answer I needed.

Jumping off the bed, I laughed as he lunged like he was about to grab me.

"Hey! I’m up."

He chuckled, his gaze running over me and making my heart skip a beat.

"Good girl."

Rolling my eyes, I headed to the bathroom to brush my teeth and freshen up.

An hour and a half later, I was wondering if he had lost his damned mind as I looked from him to the rack of skis and back again.

"Are you trying to kill me?"

"Not trying to kill you. Just teach you how to ski. It'll be fun."

Glaring at him, I folded my arms.

"Skiing is all fun and games until someone gets hurt, and that someone will be me."

He chuckled, shaking his head as he reached out and adjusted my beanie so it sat right on my head then ran his fingers down the side of my face.

"I won’t let anything happen to you."

I sighed at the gentle look in his eyes and caved, a tiny smile pulling on my lips.

"Okay…"

A wide smile spread across his lips, and his eyes lit up.

"That's my girl," he murmured, his hand cupping my cheek gently. "I promise… you're going to enjoy yourself."

I had my doubts about that but the look in his eyes and the faith he had that everything would be alright, made my shoulders relax and my heart flutter.

I let out a soft sigh, giving in.

He wrapped an arm around me and led me over to where the skis waited.

"We’re going to be doing a simple bunny hill, so it's nothing too intense."

I nodded, taking a deep breath, and let him help me pick out some skis.

Half an hour later, I was standing at the top of a hill watching the other skiers with my heart in my throat.

The bunny slope was a gentle one, and I tried to remind myself of that each time I looked down and felt a flutter of panic in my chest, but it was difficult.

Caleb was beside me, holding my hand and giving my fingers a reassuring squeeze every so often. He was being patient and supportive as I took deep breaths and tried to calm my nerves.

"It's okay, angel… I'm right here."

"I can do this," I whispered, more to myself than him.

"You can," he reassured me. "Just take it slow, don't overthink it. I'm with you."

It took some time, but he was right.

I managed to get down the slope with only a few tumbles, and I felt a little bit better.

He was right by my side, offering praise and support and helping me up when I fell.

"See, you're doing good. Told you you could do it."

I let go of his hand to shove him lightly only to let out a yelp as I lost my balance.

He caught me before I could face-plant, wrapping an arm around my waist.

"Easy there, angel," he chuckled, his arm tightening around my waist to keep me upright.

I huffed, my cheeks going pink as I put my hands on his shoulders to steady myself.

"Maybe no shoving while you’re on skis?"

I stuck my tongue out at him, and he laughed again, one hand going to my chin and lifting my face so he could press a kiss to my lips.

"That's not very nice."

"You started it," I mumbled against his lips, my arms going around his neck.

"I did no such thing," he murmured, his voice a low, rough rumble that made me shiver.

"Okay, maybe you didn't," I gasped as he pressed his lips to mine and kissed me thoroughly.

When he finally pulled back, he was smiling, his eyes filled with warmth and affection.

"Ready to go down again?"

My heart was still fluttering and his smile was distracting, but I was determined.

"Yeah," I managed to say. "I'm ready."

"All right then," he said and handed me my poles. "Let's do this again. Remember, don't overthink it. I'm right here. I got you."

Over the next hour, I slowly started to get a hang of it, and my confidence grew.

Caleb stayed beside me throughout all of it, making sure to catch me when I stumbled, praising me when I managed to stay on my feet and making me laugh when I needed it.

He was patient, supportive, and never lost his cool, and I couldn't keep the smile off my face as he took my hand and led me up the bunny slope one last time.

"You ready to go get something to eat?" he asked as we reached the top.

"I am," I said, smiling up at him. "I'm starving."

He chuckled and gave my hand a squeeze, his gaze dropping to my face.

"Then let's go. I know this great little cafe near here. You'll love it."

As I took one last look at the slope, I felt a wave of gratitude.

"Thank you for today… I had fun, and you were a great teacher."

"My pleasure," he said, his smile warm. "It was fun. You did good."

"Hmm… thanks to you," I mumbled then laid my head on his chest.

We stood there for a few moments, just savoring the quiet and each other's company then he pulled away slightly, cupping my chin and raising my head so I was looking up at him.

For a long moment, he just stared at me, rubbing his thumb along my jawline then he said, "Marry me, Hayley."

My eyes went wide, and my heart skipped a beat.

"Wh… what?" I whispered, sure I'd heard wrong.

But he wasn't joking; I could tell by the look in his eyes. He was serious.

"I mean it," he said slowly. "Marry me."

My mouth opened and closed, words failing me for a moment.

For a moment, just one singular moment it crossed my mind that it was too soon for him to be proposing but then I realized love didn’t have a timeline… it happened when it happened. It didn’t come with rules, it didn’t come with instructions, it didn’t matter how long we had been together or when we had said I love you for the first time… all that mattered was that we loved each other and marrying him was something I wanted more than anything.

"Yes," I managed to breathe out, a smile spreading across my face. "Yes, I'll marry you!"

I didn't even get a chance to say anything else before he was kissing me, his arms wrapping around me and holding me tight.

When he pulled back, he was grinning, his eyes gleaming with happiness.

"I love you so damn much," he murmured. "I know it's a bit soon, but we don't have to rush… and I have a feeling Sadie will murder me if we get married without her."

"She absolutely will," I laughed, my fingers playing with his hair. "She's going to want to plan the biggest wedding imaginable."

A soft groan left his lips, but it was followed by a low chuckle.

"And we’re going to let her plan it because she’s your best friend."

I nodded and then bit my lip.

"She was right," I said softly.

That made him raise an eyebrow.

"Right about what?"

"She told me… that I was going to end up with you eventually."

A crooked smile tugged at the corner of his lips.

"She's never going to let you forget that."

"No, she definitely won't. She'll never let us live it down."

He chuckled and pressed his lips to mine for a moment.

"I don't care," he murmured, his fingers tracing a line down my cheek and to my chin. "I just care about one thing."

I knew what he was going to say, but I still asked, "What's that?"

"You," he said without hesitation. "I just want you."

I could feel tears prick at the corners of my eyes at the sheer amount of love in his words, in his voice, in his eyes.

"God, I love you…" I whispered, blinking to keep the tears back.

He smiled and brushed his thumb over my cheekbone, gently wiping away a tear that managed to slip free.

"Don't cry, angel," he murmured, his voice low and rough. "I don't like seeing those pretty eyes filled with tears."

A smile pulled at my lips as I reached up to touch his face.

"I'm not sad," I whispered. "These are happy tears."

"Happy tears," he repeated, rubbing a hand along my back. "I'm glad to hear that."

"You know… you promised me lunch."

"That I did. Are you hungry?"

My stomach growled almost as if on cue, making me laugh.

"Very hungry," I said, resting my hands on his chest as I went up on my toes to kiss him.

He smiled against my lips and returned the kiss, his arms wrapping me up tighter again before he pulled away, gently tugging on my hand.

"Come on, angel."

I followed him back to the truck, feeling like I was walking on air.

Every so often he would look back at me, a crooked smile forming on his lips that would send a shiver down my spine and a swarm of butterflies through my stomach.

As we reached his truck, he opened the door for me… like always… and helped me up into the passenger seat… like always.

The small gesture still made my heart flutter, even after all this time, and a small, involuntary smile spread across my lips.

He leaned into the truck, reaching up to tuck a strand of hair back behind my ear.

"What're you smiling at?"

I couldn't help the soft laugh that left my lips.

"You," I said without hesitation. "You make me smile."

He leaned in and brushed a kiss to the corner of my mouth.

"Good," he murmured. "That's all I want."

He stepped back and shut the door, before circling the truck and climbing in.

A few seconds later, we were leaving the parking lot and on our way to the café he had mentioned.

As we drove, I felt the reality of what had just happened sinking in.

I was going to marry him.

We were going to be husband and wife, partners for life.

We were going to have children, grow old together and… I couldn’t be happier.

It still felt surreal, like a dream that I was afraid I would wake up from at any moment.

But it was my reality and I was getting everything I had ever dreamed of.

The drive back into town was filled with comfortable silence, and I could feel Caleb's eyes on me every so often.

When we reached the café, he parked the truck then climbed out and came around to my side and opened my door, holding his hand out to me, which I took…

The cafe, a cozy, little place called "The Hidden Bean", was bustling with people, all enjoying their lunch or a hot drink. The smell of coffee, pastries and other food wafted in the air, the sound of people chatting and laughing was a soothing background noise, and the warmth that hit us as we walked in was something I knew I could get used to.

Caleb squeezed my hand and led me to a table near the back, close to a window.

The view outside was of the snowy mountain range in the distance, the sun reflecting off the snow and filling the small cafe with bright light.

"This place is so cozy," I said, running my fingers over the surface of the table as I sat.

"I thought you might like it here," he said, sitting down and pulling a menu towards him. "They have the best cinnamon buns."

I could feel my mouth start to water and my stomach rumbled.

"Cinnamon buns?" I echoed, perking up in my seat.

"Yep. They're delicious."

"Good," I said, reaching for my menu to look through the rest of the options. "Ohhh… they have baked potato soup and sourdough bread."

"I know. They make it with cheddar cheese and real bacon. It's pretty good."

I let out a little moan at the thought of cheesy, soupy goodness.

"Have you tried everything here?" I asked, giving him a small poke in the arm.

"Just about," he laughed, grabbing my hand and kissing my knuckles. "They also have really good chili."

I let out another little noise of contentment as I glanced back down at the menu.

"Hmm… so many things to choose from..."

"Don't start overthinking. You always do that when you have more than two choices."

I stuck my tongue out at him playfully, but he was right.

I always had trouble making decisions when I had too many options and panicked when asked what I wanted to order and ended up ordering something I really didn’t want.

"That's because there are so many good things to choose from."

He shook his head, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips.

"We’re here for two weeks. You can have one of everything before we leave," he teased.

"You're right," I said, putting the menu aside. "But I think I know what I want."

He raised an eyebrow, sitting back in his chair.

"Oh? And what would that be?"

"Mmm..." I leaned forward, resting my chin on my hand. "Guess."

"Hmm... if I'm gonna guess," he said slowly then reached up, tapping his index finger against his chin. "The potato soup, the sourdough and a cinnamon bun along with some of that coffee you love so much?"

I pouted.

"How did you guess?"

"Because I know you, baby," he said, reaching for my hand and intertwining our fingers.

A smile tugged at the corners of my lips, and I let out a small laugh as the waitress appeared next to our table.

"Welcome to The Hidden Bean… what can I get you?"

"I'll start with a regular coffee, she’ll have a caramel latte," Caleb said then glanced at me, his thumb running over the back of my hand. "And can we also get a potato soup, a bowl of chili, a plate of sourdough bread and two cinnamon buns, please?"

She nodded, taking out her little notebook.

"Of course. Anything else I can get you?"

He looked at me, his expression soft.

"You want anything else, angel?"

"No, I'm good," I said, looking up at the waitress. "That's all for now, thank you."

She jotted down the order then smiled before tucking the notebook away in her apron.

"Perfect. Your order will arrive shortly."

He gave her a nod, and the waitress disappeared, leaving us alone again.

I let out a content sigh and twirled a strand of hair around my finger.

He looked at me across the table, his eyes following the movement.

"That's a new habit you've picked up lately," he remarked, gesturing to my hair.

I paused, my hand still in my hair.

"Oh," I said, feeling a little self-conscious as I dropped my hand into my lap. "I didn't realize... I used to do that a lot when I was a child... habit, I guess."

He watched me for a moment, his expression soft, before reaching out and running his fingers through my hair.

"It's a cute habit, I like it."

I leaned into his touch, letting my eyes drift shut for a moment.

"I love you," I murmured, opening my eyes and meeting his gaze.

He hummed, his fingers moving to the strands of hair framing my face.

"And I love you."

Just hearing those words made my heart skip a beat, and I could feel the familiar warmth spreading in my chest as I looked at him.

For a moment, we just stared at each other, enjoying the quiet intimacy between us then the waitress returned with our drinks, placing the steaming cups on the table.

"Food will be ready soon," she said brightly, placing some napkins with silverware on the table before turning and walking away.

Caleb took a sip of his coffee, watching me over the rim of the cup.

"So... I've been thinking…"

"Hmm?" I said, taking a sip of my own coffee. "About what?"

"I think… we should call Sadie and tell her the happy news," he murmured, his eyes never leaving mine as smile curled the corner of his lips.

A grin spread across my face.

"Yes. Definitely. We need to tell her," I took another sip of my latte, savoring the sweet flavor, then pulled my phone out of my bag.

"She's going to freak out," he said, his voice low.

I chuckled as I scrolled to her name and hit the call button.

"Oh, she definitely will. She's going to scream so loud you'll be able to hear her from here."

The phone rang a few times before I heard the sound of her voice on the other end, "Hello?"

I smiled, excitement bubbling up within me.

"Hi, Sad!"

There was a moment of silence and I knew she was wondering what we were up to.

"Hey..." she said, her voice tinged with suspicion. "What's up?"

Caleb chuckled and took a sip of his coffee.

"Caleb and I have something we wanted to tell you… something pretty great, actually."

The suspicion in her tone was replaced with curiosity.

"What is it? You guys are being all mysterious, and I hate it. You have to tell me now!"

I could almost see her bouncing in place on the other end of the call.

"Well..." I said. "You might want to sit down for this."

On the other end of the line, I could hear her shuffling around before she spoke again.

"Okay, I'm sitting. Spill."

"Caleb asked me to marry him."

She let out a squeal of excitement, her voice so loud it made my ears ring for a second, then I heard a loud crash followed by her husband saying, "That was my ear, woman!" then Sadie shouted, "WHAT?! Are you serious?!"

I had to pull the phone away from my ear, chuckling.

"Yes, I'm serious. We're engaged."

In the background, I could hear her husband exclaiming, "Why are you so loud?"

"Oh my God! This is amazing! I can't wait to plan the wedding. Wait! I am planning the wedding, right? Of course, I’m planning the wedding… it's going to be so big and beautiful and it’s going to be outside and there’s going to be fairy lights and lots of flowers, oh my God...! I’m so excited! I knew you were meant to be together…"

She kept talking and I looked up, meeting the eyes of the man who was going to be my husband and smiled when he shot me a wink.

Our wedding couldn’t come soon enough.

Chapter 7

Fingers running through my hair woke me from a dead sleep.

"Time to wake up, kitten," a deep, smooth voice murmured as those fingers continued to comb through my hair, nails lightly scraping against my scalp.

I grumbled something unintelligible into my pillow in protest, not wanting to wake up yet, and I tried to pull my blanket over my head.

Sylus yanked the blanket away, and I rolled over to give him a piece of my mind only to pause when I realized it was still the middle of the night.

"What the hell?" I grumbled as I squinted at him, wondering how he got into my apartment. "How the hell did you-"

He put a finger to my lips, silencing me.

"Quiet," he said, his voice firm. "We need to talk."

I stared at him for a moment. "Talk?" I repeated, not really grasping what was happening. "About what?"

He didn't answer, his gaze focused on my face as he sat on the edge of my bed.

It annoyed the hell out of me that he had broken into my apartment and woke me up at the ass-crack of dawn without a care in the world and expected me to what? Have a staring contest?

He let out a frustrated sigh and shifted closer to me. "Sit up."

I scowled at him, feeling more annoyed by the second.

"No," I said, crossing my arms over my chest on top of the blankets. "It's like three in the morning and you broke into my apartment to wake me up for a talk? What the hell-"

"I didn’t break in. I have a key."

I paused, staring at him with wide eyes. "A… a key? You have a key to my apartment?"

He nodded, his expression as impassive as ever. "Yes, you gave it to me a while back."

I opened and closed my mouth several times, trying to remember when the hell I gave him a key to my apartment and why, but my brain was still trying to catch up.

"When-" I started to ask, but the look he gave me made me stop.

Right. He said we needed to talk, didn't he?

I groaned and pushed myself up into a sitting position. "Okay, fine. Talk."

He didn't say anything for a moment, just sat there, his gaze locked on my face.

I could see the tension in his body, the subtle way he twitched when I shifted.

He seemed… anxious? Upset?

"What's going on, Sylus? You're acting weird. Are you… okay?"

He let out a low sigh, looking down at the blankets in my lap and running a hand through his hair. He did that when he was stressed. "You fucked Caleb last night."

"I… what?" I muttered, feeling my stomach drop. "I… I did… but what does that have to do with anything? How do you even know about that?"

He lifted his head to meet my gaze, and I could see the anger and… hurt? in his eyes. "Caleb and I are neighbors, kitten," he said, his voice low and cold. "I heard you…"

I froze, feeling a rush of dread wash over me as I realized that Caleb had known Sylus would hear us… had deliberately brought me to his house knowing Sylus would figure out it was me in his bed.

"You… you heard us?" I asked, my voice coming out in a whisper.

He nodded, his expression hardening. "Every goddamn sound. Every cry." He shifted closer, reaching out to run his fingers down my face until he reached my throat. "Every whimper. Every moan. I heard you beg him… like you begged me…"

I tried to pull back from his touch, the reminder of how I had… begged Caleb last night making me flush with embarrassment. But Sylus' free hand grabbed my arm, yanking me back towards him until I was in his lap.

"Look at me," he demanded. "Look at me and tell me you weren't thinking of me last night."

A shiver ran through me at the anger and possessiveness in his voice, and I looked up at him reluctantly, meeting his sharp gaze. I knew he was expecting me to deny it… to tell him I hadn't been thinking of him while I was beneath Caleb, but I couldn’t because… it would be a lie.

I had wanted him there with us… naked, hard and wanting… just like I had always dreamed of… together… all three of us.

"I…" I started to speak but he growled, his fingers digging into my jaw. "Don't lie to me," he snapped. "Tell. Me."

The force in his voice made my heart pound, his grip on my jaw and the hardness in his eyes making me squirm in his lap.

I could tell he wasn’t going to accept anything but the truth, and I knew I owed him that.

"I… I was."

He froze, his eyes widening at my confession then something dark flared to life as he repeated my words. "You were thinking of me… while you were with him," he said. "Say it again."

"I was thinking of you," I whispered.

A dark chuckle left his lips, the sound sending a shiver through me then he was unwrapping the blanket from around my body in quick, hurried movements.

Within seconds, it was on the floor and I was on my back, the only thing covering me the shirt I had slept in which was clinging to my body, barely covering my thighs or that fact that I didn’t have any underwear on.

I let out a gasp, my hands flying up to press against his chest as he settled between my spread thighs, my eyes wide as I looked up at him.

"Sylus… w-wait, wait…."

He shook his head, his hand pressing against my stomach and moving up over the curves of my sides until he had my shirt pushed up, exposing my breasts to the cool air, then he was cupping one in his big hand.

"No. Not… after I had to listen to you… begging for someone else."

A gasp of surprise left my lips as he leaned down, his mouth closing over my neck and sucking hard. Next, his teeth grazed over my skin, nipping and biting, his hands roaming over my body as he marked me, his lips and teeth trailing over my neck and shoulders, leaving bruises.

One hand crept between my thighs and then his fingers were dragging through the wetness there before he thrust two inside my pussy and curled them.

I whimpered, my body trembling as lust, want, and need surged through me even with the rough handling.

"I… I want you both," I whispered.

He paused at that, his mouth leaving my neck as he lifted his head and stared down at me. When he spoke there was an edge of curiosity in his voice. "You want both of us?"

I nodded, unable to lie to him or deny what I wanted, what I had been thinking of… what I had been dreaming of.

"Yes," I whispered, my body arching up against his touch. "Yes, I… I want both of you."

For a moment, he was quiet, his eyes locked on my face, the tension in his body increasing as he seemed to be warring with himself.

"You can't have us both."

There was a sharp, bitter edge to his voice, and I flinched, my heart sinking. I knew he wasn't being mean… knew he was just being honest. But it hurt.

"Why not?"

His fingers paused then pulled out of me completely, and I could see the conflict in his eyes, the pain and anger and possessiveness… and the hurt. He was still struggling to control his emotions.

"Because while I might be willing to share you… he wouldn’t."

I felt a pang at his words, the idea that he was willing to… share me with Caleb, but Caleb wouldn't reciprocate. It was almost too much to wrap my head around.

"But… why-"

He shook his head, his expression dark and serious as he moved to the edge of the bed. "Don't… don't try to make sense of it. He's possessive… always has been, especially of you."

"But I…" I trailed off as I sat beside him, my mind spinning as I tried to make sense of it.

Caleb, possessive of me?

I thought back to all the times he got so… angry whenever I had tried to date anyone… how he had always chased them off. But I had always thought it was him being protective of me because he saw me as a little sister, not… possessive.

Sylus’ gaze softened slightly at my confusion, his touch gentle as he reached up and cupped my chin.

"You… didn't know?" he asked.

I shook my head. "He fucks anything that moves, Sylus… how could I have known?"

He let out a wry chuckle, the hand on my chin moving to gently trace my cheek. "How many of those women has he gone back to? How many has he spent a whole night fucking?"

His question was met with a stunned silence as the realization hit me.

Caleb had always been so casual with his relationships, so detached… always fucking women once and then never having anything to do with them again. But I had never thought it was because he secretly wanted me but was possibly too afraid? to admit it so he never said anything.

"He… I… I never… I never realized," I said softly.

He let out a sigh, his gaze roaming over my face as if trying to gauge my reaction. "Did you never wonder why he always sabotaged your relationships?"

Caleb's constant interference, the way he would always find fault in my boyfriends, the way he always showed up just when things were getting serious with a new guy and ruin things… I had always thought it was him being overprotective… I had never considered it might be more…

"He wants you for himself," he continued, his voice hoarse. "He always has."

I was frozen, unable to move as I tried to make sense of the pieces that were suddenly coming together in my brain. It all made sense… the way he ruined every relationship I had ever been in… including my fake one with Sylus.

I looked up at him, my voice trembling as I whispered, "You… you knew? That’s why you suggested pretending to date."

"I suspected," he admitted. "I had a feeling it was more than just overprotectiveness and wanting your attention. But I'd be lying if I said I was hoping I was wrong."

He traced my lower lip, his eyes locked on my mouth. "And then… we started pretending, and he… went off the deep end…"

His words sent a shiver through me as I remembered the way Caleb had reacted when Sylus and I had started ‘dating’… the anger, the hostility. And then last night… I thought it had been nothing more than a need to possibly one up Sylus since I had woken up in his bed to find him gone and had to make my way home on my own.

There had been no note to explain his absence… just cold sheets and my clothes in a pile on the end of the bed along with my handbag, phone and keys.

"I never…" I murmured finally. "… never considered that he… I thought…"

He pressed his thumb against my lips, "I don’t want to talk about him anymore, Bay."

The sharp change in his voice made me shiver, my body reacting automatically to the sudden commanding tone, and I went quiet, my gaze shifting to his.

He leaned until his face was only inches from mine, his hand sliding around the back of my head and tangling in my hair. "Stop thinking… talking about him. I'm here with you now."

The possessive edge in his voice sent a flutter through me, my stomach twisting at the way he pulled my head back, exposing my neck then he leaned in, his lips brushing over my throat as he murmured, "Don't think about him… only me."

My skin tingled under his touch as his teeth scraped against my throat and I knew one thing… I wanted him… again.

"I want you…" I whispered, my mind foggy with lust and need.

The hand in my hair tightened, and he used it to drag me into his lap so I was straddling him. "You want me?" he asked softly, chest rising and falling with his ragged breaths.

I nodded, my hands resting on his chest to steady myself as I looked up at him.

The tension in his body eased, a low growl leaving him as he looked up at me from under his lashes, something feral in his gaze. Then his hands slid under the hem of my shirt, his touch rough as he pulled it over my head and tossed it onto the floor.

His eyes roamed over my naked body, hungry and possessive, then he was leaning forward, his mouth against my chest, his teeth grazing the sensitive skin just above my heart as his hands slid around and gripped my ass to pull my hips against his.

I let out a whimper at the sudden movement, my hands flying up to grip his shoulders as my body trembled and arched towards him. My brain was already starting to turn off, the need in his touch and the way he looked at me making me shiver uncontrollably.

I knew that look… knew what it meant.

He was going to be rough… possessive… demanding… like he had been the first time we had been together and I wanted it so bad.

I gasped when he nipped the skin of my breast, reaching down and grabbing a fistful of his hair and pulling him up until his face was even with mine.

"Sylus…" I panted, my other hand gripping his bicep. "Please… take me…"

With a dangerous glint in his eyes, he gripped my hair tighter, his other hand sliding up my bare leg to the wet folds of my pussy.

"Ask me politely, and I will give it to you."

When I didn’t respond right away, he pushed my hands away from his head and gripped my waist, moving me so I was standing then he was pushing me back until I was against the wall. "Ask me…" he whispered, his voice rough.

He was being… dominant tonight.

Not that he wasn't always a little rough in his mannerisms and the way he spoke, but he was acting… almost feral… like his instincts had taken over and were driving him with a single minded intensity.

It was arousing, but he wouldn't give me what I wanted until I asked… politely.

I lifted my arms, going up on my tiptoes, reaching up and looping them around his neck, wanting, no… needing to be closer. "I want you... please, Sylus, I need you to take me…"

His fingers gripped my chin and tilted my head back, his mouth coming closer to mine until I could feel his breath on my lips as he murmured, "Since you asked so nicely…" before his mouth was crushing against mine.

I let out a whimper at the force of his kiss, my nails digging into his shoulders as he deepened it. He bit my lip, drawing a bit of blood, the sharp spike of pain making me gasp.

His hands left my face, moving down to grip my waist then he was lifting me off the ground. I wrapped my legs around him instinctively, my hands coming up to grip his hair as he moved towards the bed then laid me down on my back.

I tried to move, tried to sit up… but he was having none of it.

He pressed me down into the bed, his hand on my throat... "Don’t move, Bay."

It was an order, not a suggestion, and I obediently laid back, my hands going to my sides and clutching the sheets beneath me as he stepped back and started to remove his clothes.

My eyes moved down his body as he tossed his shirt aside, pausing at the waistband of his jeans as his long fingers went to the button and opened them before unzipping them and pushing them down his hips while toeing off his boots.

Once he was naked, he bent over me, using one hand to grasp the back of my neck while the other wrapped around my torso then he was moving me further up the bed.

I went willingly, my mind going blank as he moved me into the center, his movements quick and efficient. Then he was on top of me, moving between my legs and pinning me beneath him, his muscles tense and straining as he held himself above me.

His eyes flicked up to mine, and I could see the dark intent in his eyes as he lowered his body fully on top of mine.

I tried to wiggle again, wanting to arch into him. "Sylus, please… I need – oh!"

The breath left my lungs and my back arched as he suddenly shifted, burying his cock in my pussy in one smooth thrust.

I tried to speak, to say something… but my words got caught in my throat when he hooked his arms under my legs, spreading them wider and started to move, pulling all the way out of my pussy then thrusting back in hard.

All I could do was lay there, desperate cries of pleasure leaving my mouth, chest heaving, eyes locked on the way that he was looking at me as he took my body like he owned it.

I let out another sharp cry as he buried himself deep at the same time as he bent his head and sank his teeth into my neck with a low growl. My hands flew up to grip his shoulders, my hips spasming and back arching as I came.

He was being rough… almost savage and I loved it.

He wasn't just making love to me, he was marking me, claiming me. He was showing me that I was his…

"Did I give you permission to come?" he whispered against the skin of my neck.

A gasp left my lips at his words, my body shaking at the tone in his voice. I swallowed hard and whispered, "No…"

"No," he repeated, his voice dark as his fingers tangled in my hair. "I didn't."

He pulled out of my pussy, his eyes roving over my body as he sat back on his knees between my legs, his expression unreadable. His hands rested on my thighs, keeping my legs spread, the muscles in his arms tense, his breathing a little ragged.

I could feel my body clenching, needy and wanting… desperate for him to fill me again, desperate for more of what only he could give me.

"Please..."

Something dark flared in his eyes as he leaned over me, placing his hands on the bed on either side of my head, the muscles in his arms standing out in sharp relief as he shifted, slowly sliding his cock back inside me.

My head fell back against the sheets, a low moan leaving my throat as I was stretched around his thick length but he didn’t move… just kept still, seated fully inside my body while he stared down at me.

I knew exactly what he was waiting for.

Slowly I lifted my eyes from where our bodies were connected to his crimson ones, my voice little more than a whimper as I whispered, "Please… move…"

"As you wish," he said, his voice low and rough then he started moving.

I let out a sharp cry at the force of his thrust, my hands flying up, nails biting into the skin of his shoulder with one hand while the other dug into his hair and pulled.

A gasp left his lips as he felt my body clenching around him… and it was like he snapped, lost the ironclad restraint he had been holding onto.

He pulled away, pulling out of me and grabbed me by the waist, flipping me onto my front, then his hands were on my hips, my ass was in the air, and his cock was back inside me in seconds.

A whimper left my lips as I felt every inch of his muscled body against mine, his chest on my back, his hips against my ass, one of his big hands wrapped around my throat, forcing me to arch my neck back until his face was next to mine.

I could feel his breath against my skin, hot and ragged as he moved his hips in slow and deliberate circles before he picked up the pace, "Is this what you wanted?"

My back arched and my hips pressed back against him, "Yes…"

The hand around my throat tightened, the rough touch, the dominant pressure, the way he held me while he fucked me so hard sounds I had never heard before poured out of my throat as I pushed back against him, my pussy clamping down on his cock with each thrust.

Another whimper left my lips as the hand around my throat moved and he grabbed a fistful of my hair, pulling my head back against his shoulder while his other hand slid down my stomach between my legs.

Then I felt his thumb on my clit, pressing down on the little bundle of nerves as he whispered, "I'm going to make you come… and then I'm going to take you again… and again… and again… until I'm sure I've completely ruined you…" he pulled out then thrust back in, his cock head brushing something deep inside me that had my breath hitching.

"… you won't be able to walk…" he mumbled, thumb circling my clit until my body tensed and I clamped down on his cock as my body drew closer to the edge again, "won't be able to do anything but beg… for me to stop… for me to keep going…"

And with that he pinched my clit between his thumb and forefinger just as his mouth bit down on my shoulder… and I came, harder than the other times.

It was like a fire had suddenly been lit inside me, my mind turning blank as my body convulsed. The pleasure was almost too much…

"Sylus…"

It was the only word I managed to get out, the only sound I was able to make as he held me tightly with his arm clamped around my waist, keeping me from collapsing to the bed. I was completely wrecked… lost… all I could do was twitch, every inch of me sensitive, my body feeling like nothing more than a ragdoll in his arms.

He slowly pulled out of my pussy and lowered me to the bed before rolling me onto my back. My eyes immediately went to his hard cock, the long thick length glistening with my juices and I whimpered because I knew he was nowhere near finished with me. "Look at me."

I looked up at him, swallowing hard as he leaned closer, the look in his eyes intense as he whispered, "You know what happens next…"

My heart was beating so fast, my chest heaving with each deep inhale as I stared up at him. Of course, I knew what was going to happen… he had mumbled it in my ear moments ago… told me in detail how he was going to wreck me.

"I know…" I whispered, my voice a little hoarse from all the cries and whimpers.

I could see the dark glint in his eyes as the words left my lips and then he did something unexpected… he lowered himself so he was laying on the bed on his stomach and brought his mouth close to my pussy, blowing on my wet folds before he lowered his head and licked a strip up the center of my entrance.

A gasp left my lips as my hands flew to his hair, gripping the soft strands as my legs clamped around his head.

"Mmmmm…" his moan vibrated against my pussy, and I could feel his tongue delving into my folds as he grabbed my legs and spread them wide, holding them in place so I couldn’t move.

My back arched, my body shaking as my hips moved against his mouth. The fact that I had just come twice meant I couldn't handle much more but my body seemed to crave it.

And he knew it… knew that my body was sensitive… knew that I wanted more even though I wasn’t sure I could give him what he wanted and it had me whimpering his name.

"I… I can’t…" I whispered, my fingers pulling at his hair to get his mouth off my pussy.

He lifted his head to look up at me, his lips and chin glistening with my juices and he gave me that damn smirk. The smirk that made me want to slap him… but it was ruined slightly by the way his eyes were almost feral, like a cat with its paw in the cage full of canaries.

"Yes, you can."

Then his mouth was back on me as two long fingers slid deep inside me and started thrusting in and out of my body roughly while his mouth ate at me like he was starving.

The sounds I made… I didn't even think I could make those sounds… whimpering and whining and mewling like some damn desperate creature as I shook my head back and forth, pulling at his hair, hoarsely crying out loudly… for him. All for him…

And the whole time, he was in complete control… my body was his. Even though I felt so good, I felt wrecked and destroyed… not even sure if I could speak… not even sure if I could remember my damn name.

I don’t know how many times I came with his skilled mouth on me, but something drew my attention as a new voice broke through the fog my brain was in…

"Am I interrupting?"

My eyes flew open as the sound of Caleb's voice jerked me out of my lust-filled haze, my hands gripping Sylus's hair in tight fists.

Sylus shook his head so I was forced to let go then he pushed up on his hands between my legs, his expression dark and furious as he looked back over his shoulder towards the door. When he saw Caleb there, his voice came out in a deep growl, "What the hell are you doing here?"

I heard footsteps and then Caleb came into view, his purple gaze raking over my naked body, Sylus’ hard cock straining between his muscled thighs, and my juices smeared all over Sylus’ chin.

He smirked as he stopped at the side of the bed, his hands in his pockets but that smile didn’t reach his eyes.

I watched warily as he shifted, one hip cocked and his gaze dropped… slowly… dragging his gaze over my body from the top of my head to my legs then back up again before moving to Sylus, who was now kneeling between my spread legs with a scowl on his face.

"Looks like you're having fun," Caleb mumbled, those purple eyes flicking back to me.

I opened my mouth to respond but nothing came out… I didn’t know what to say, I didn’t know why he was here or what he wanted… I didn’t know what to do that wouldn’t make this whole fucked up situation better.

He looked at me for a moment longer, his eyes roaming over my sweat-slicked skin and how I was trembling from multiple orgasms before moving to meet Sylus’ crimson gaze. He let out a faint chuckle then reached out, lightning quick, and grabbed a handful of Sylus’ hair, yanking his head back and moving so his face was inches away from the other mans, "Seems like we’re both addicted to that sweet little pussy… aren’t we?"

Chapter 14: Vacation

Caleb

As we pulled into the driveway of the cabin I had rented, the nervousness that had been simmering in my stomach since I had asked Hayley to come with me hit an all-time high.

It was stupid to be nervous… this was a vacation, a trip out of town, a chance to spend time together alone where no one could interfere, but the excitement was eating me alive because of what I planned to do while we were here.

I felt like a teenager again with butterflies in my stomach and the nerves were making me feel sick but I was determined to finally tell her how I felt.

It was snowing heavily, thick flakes drifting from the sky, creating a peaceful atmosphere with the backdrop of the tall trees and mountains setting the winter wonderland tone that I knew she enjoyed.

The cabin sat in the middle of the clearing, surrounded by thick forest, its dark wood, green shingles and red front door making it look quaint and cozy.

I turned the engine off and turned my head to see her looking out the passenger side window at the landscape and the cabin, an expression of wonder on her pretty face.

"You ready, angel?" I asked, the corners of my lips twitching.

She shifted her gaze from the window to me, her big green eyes meeting mine, and a small smile appeared on her lips.

"Ready."

That smile of hers… it was so damn beautiful it made my heart skip a beat.

"Good," I said, my own lips curving in a smile that was more confident than I felt.

I climbed out of the truck and grabbed our bags out of the backseat, my eyes falling on her again as I sat them on the snow-covered ground and paused while reaching for the bags of gifts and a few other things I had brought with me.

She was pulling her hair up into a messy bun while looking around, a few tendrils falling around her face and framing it.

The sight made my hands itch to touch her because she looked so goddamn pretty with her nose and cheeks pink and her eyes shining with happiness.

It made me want to abandon my plan, pull her into my arms right here and now and tell her how much I loved her, but I was going to stick to it and do what I had come here to do.

Nothing else would do…

Halloween night had… changed things for me.

When she had come downstairs looking like an angel straight from Heaven it had taken everything in me to hold myself back from grabbing her, throwing her over my shoulder and carrying her off and ravishing her until she knew how much I wanted her.

But I didn't… and the past month and a half had been a torture more painful than any that could ever be thought of.

My feelings for her had gotten too strong for me to handle.

I was tired of keeping it all in, tired of hiding my feelings, tired of ignoring everything that was building between us, and tired of pretending like she was just a friend to me.

I wanted more… needed more.

So I had brought her here… to a cabin where we would be alone for a week so I could tell her how I felt and what I wanted… which was forever.

I wanted forever with her.

I wanted marriage and children and to help her rearrange her shop with her on major holidays and to make her happy.

I wanted it all.

"It's so pretty here," she murmured, a small smile on her lips as she pulled her beanie out of her pocket and pulled it onto her head before reaching out to help me grab our bags.

I had to resist the urge to reach out and brush the snowflakes from her lashes.

"Let's get inside before you freeze."

She nodded and followed me as I grabbed the remaining bags and led the way to the front door, my heart beating wildly and my hands feeling sweaty despite the cold.

Now that I was about to go inside where I was going to confess, I was having… not second thoughts but doubtful? thoughts.

What if she didn't feel the same way? What if this ruined our friendship? What if she never wanted to speak to me again?

I knew I was overthinking… and being an idiot.

I had seen the way she looked at me lately and I had a feeling what I felt was returned.

Once we were finally inside and the door was shut behind us, I sat the bags down and went to work on the fireplace in the living room, needing to keep myself busy and chase away the chill in the air.

I heard her moving around behind me, putting her bag down on the couch and taking her jacket off.

A minute later, she was standing beside me in a pair of leggings, a baggy dark blue sweater and a pair of black fluffy socks.

She looked so damn cute and was already making herself at home. 

That made me so happy.

I wanted to kiss her, touch her, feel her everywhere.

Instead, I took a deep breath and started the fire, the small flames flickering to life and the room soon started to grow warm.

Straightening, I took a few more deep breaths to calm myself when she came to stand in front of the fire, her shoulder grazing my arm as she reached her hands out towards the flames.

Her touch set my nerves on fire, and I had to keep myself from letting out a shudder.

I wanted her so much but after everything she had been through, all her body, abandonment and trust issues… I needed to be smart about this.

She turned her head, her gaze meeting mine, her hair still messy from the hat with a few strands falling in front of her face as she tilted her head.

"You okay?"

I forced myself to give her a small, casual smile and a nod even though I was feeling anything but calm.

"I'm fine, angel. Just a little… tired from the drive."

She studied me for a few silent moments, her eyes searching mine, and I knew she could tell something was off, but after a few more seconds, she let it go.

"Okay… do you something to eat? I can… make us some lunch or something?"

The domesticity of her offer, the way she wanted to take care of me when I was the one who should be taking care of her, made my heart skip a beat.

"That sounds perfect."

She smiled, her cheeks turning that beautiful shade of pink that always made me want to investigate to see how far down the blush would go.

"I'll go see what I can whip up."

"Okay. I'll bring in the rest of the bags."

As she turned to walk out of the room, heading towards the kitchen, I let out a soft breath and pinched the bridge of my nose. I needed to get a grip on myself before I made a fool out of myself and just blurted it out without talking to her first.

The rest of the day passed by in a blur.

We ate lunch, sat by the fire and watched a movie, then made dinner together.

The entire time, I had to keep forcing myself to not pull her into my arms, press her against the counter and run my hands over her body.

I could smell her shampoo, the scent filling my lungs and making my fingers tingle.

Every so often she would give me a look as if silently trying to figure out what was wrong and I would give her what I hoped was a reassuring smile in return.

As the sunlight started to fade and the sky changed to shades of purple, orange and yellow an idea occurred to me.

I went and prepared everything I needed for what I had in mind then hunted her down, easily finding her in the small library sitting in an armchair reading.

There was something… so perfect about her.

Seeing her with the last rays of the sun shining through the window and hitting her face was something out of a dream.

I took a moment to admire her, my throat closing up because I loved her so much.

Clearing my throat to get her attention, I leaned against the doorframe.

"Hey, angel."

She looked up, her eyes lighting up when her gaze meet mine.

"Hey…"

I pushed off the doorframe.

"Come with me… I have something to show you."

Curiosity took over any confusion she was feeling, her head tilting to the side and a small smile tugging at her lips.

"Oh really? What do you have to show me?"

I smiled and held out my hand.

"You'll see…"

She chuckled and stood, marking her page and setting the book down on the table before approaching me.

"Okay, now you have my interest piqued…"

As she took my hand and I laced my fingers through hers, a wave of warmth rolled through me. I led her out into the hall, my thumb tracing small circles on the back of her hand.

"You'll like it, I promise," I said, giving her hand a soft squeeze.

"You sound awfully sure of yourself."

"That's because I am, angel," I said, tugging her closer and wrapping my arm around her waist. "I know you well enough to know you'll like this."

And she would… she was fond of sweets, and I had everything we needed to make smores.

She giggled and leaned into me.

"You're very cocky, you know that?"

"I've been told that a few times before," I said, dropping my hand to the small of her back and rubbing circles along the soft material of her sweater. "You still like me though, don't you?"

"Of course," she murmured, her voice soft and warm.

I smiled and planted a small kiss on the top of her head.

"Good… I like you a lot too."

I helped her into her jacket then wrapped her scarf around her neck after she put her boots on then led her outside, pausing on the back porch for a moment to watch the snow fall and tilt my head back to view the hundreds of stars in the sky.

"Where are you taking me?" she asked, looking up at me.

I smiled down at her.

"You'll see in a minute."

Without giving her any other information, I tugged on her hand and led her down the stairs and the short path that led to area where the firepit was.

The moonlight filtered through the trees as we walked, creating a soft, almost otherworldly glow around us and making her look like one of those angels that sat atop a Christmas tree.

Once the firepit came into view, I watched her eyes light up at the sight of the small fire going, the blankets and all the things needed to make smores.

"Smores?" she asked, a smile growing on her lips as she turned to me.

I returned her smile with a small one of my own and led her over to the fire pit.

"You like?"

She laughed softly and nodded, going willingly when I gently pushed her into one of the comfortable looking chairs then wrapped a fluffy blanket around her shoulders.

She snuggled into the blanket, burying her face in the soft fabric with a content smile, and I found myself having to resist the urge to lean in and kiss her, to pull her into my lap and hold her close… instead, I forced myself to take a step back and smile.

"Stay there," I told her, feeling a wave of tenderness wash over me. "I'll be right back."

Tearing my eyes away from her, I turned and walked back towards the cabin to get the last few things I needed.

The entire way there, I could feel her eyes on me… could feel the way her gaze was tracing over me as if trying to figure out what I was doing.

She was curious, I could tell, and I knew she had a million questions, but she was going to have to wait just a little longer.

Once I had the thermos full of hot chocolate, some cups and the small plastic bag full of marshmallows and other stuff, I quickly headed back outside only to pause on the steps.

She was looking up at the stars, her head tilted back and a soft, content smile on her lips.

After a few moments, I kept moving, trying to maintain a casual air as I held up the thermos.

"Hot chocolate?"

"Yes, please," she said, her hand reaching out eagerly.

I handed the thermos over, our fingers brushing together and sending a jolt up my arm.

She poured the liquidy goodness into each cup then put the thermos in the chair next to her.

"There's extra marshmallows in the bag," I said, gesturing to the bag sitting beside her feet.

As she reached into the bag and grabbed a handful, she gave me a knowing look.

"You knew I would want extra marshmallows, didn't you?"

"Of course I knew. I pay attention."

She smiled and popped a marshmallow into her mouth.

"You always pay attention," she murmured, her eyes meeting mine.

"I tend to focus on the important things," I said, keeping my tone nonchalant.

The way her cheeks pinked almost shattered my resolve, but I forced myself to stay put.

"And am I one of those important things?" she murmured, bringing her cup up to her lips.

My chest tightened, my heart feeling like it was about to explode, and I had to clear my throat to answer.

"Yes… you are."

The words came out rough; my voice strained with the effort it was taking to keep myself under control.

I wanted to say, no shout, that she was the most important thing in the entire universe to me. That I was in love with her and wanted to spend the rest of my life making her happy…

She stared at me for a moment, lips parted and a furrow between her brows as if confused, then she looked down and asked tentatively, "What else do you pay attention to?"

I swallowed, my hands gripping the arms of the chair to keep myself steady.

"Your likes, your dislikes… your mood, your happiness…" I trailed off, watching her. "I pay attention to every little thing about you."

She looked up, her eyes meeting mine, almost as if she was trying to see beyond my words.

"Why? Why are you so… observant of everything I do?"

"I told you… I like to pay attention to what's important."

Those big green eyes searched mine, and I could tell that she was starting to catch on.

"I pay attention to all the little things you do… like the way you get this crinkle beside your left eye when you're confused, or the way you chew on your bottom lip when you're distracted, or the way you fidget when you’re nervous, or that little sigh you let out when you're happy… I pay attention… to everything."

With each word, her eyes widened and I could almost feel the sudden rapid beat of her heart. The firelight reflected in her eyes, making them look almost liquid, and the air around us suddenly felt charged with tension.

She stared at me, her mouth opening and closing as if she wanted to respond but couldn't.

I took a deep breath, the air burning my lungs, and forced myself to keep going.

"I've always paid attention. But recently… I've been paying even more attention."

Without noticing, I had moved closer, leaning against the arm of my chair so our faces were inches apart, and now all I could see was the little flecks of gold in her eyes. The way the firelight made golden strands in her hair glow and illuminated the freckles that dusted her nose.

I took a deep breath and tried to keep my voice even as I continued.

"You want to know why I've been paying more attention?"

She nodded, her eyes locked on mine.

"Yes…" she murmured, her voice barely a whisper.

I knew if I got any closer, I would lose my last bit of control, but I found myself leaning in anyways, drawn to her like a damn moth to a flame.

I forced myself to take another deep breath, trying to find the words that had suddenly become so difficult to say.

"Because I love you. I have for a while, and I can’t help myself when it comes to you. Not anymore."

And there it was.

The words were out.

I had said it.

I had told her how I felt, laid out all my cards, and now all I could do was wait.

I watched her, studying her every expression, every movement, every twitch, waiting for her to say something… anything.

For a minute, we were both silent, the only sound being the crackling of the fire.

My heart was racing, my hands shaking, and I was starting to feel vulnerable.

I wasn't used to being so open, so honest when it came to my feelings… but when it came to her, I felt like I couldn't stop the words from tumbling out.

For a moment, she didn’t say anything, just stared at me, her expression shocked and confused.

I started to think I had made a mistake… that I had just ruined our friendship and made a fool of myself. But then she spoke, her voice shaky.

"Caleb…" she whispered. "You… love me?"

"Yes…" I whispered back. "I do."

For a moment, the world seemed to hold its breath.

All I could hear was the sound of my heart beating and the blood rushing through my veins.

Her eyes searched mine, her face a mask of disbelief mixed with something else I couldn't place then she was out of her chair and in my lap, wrapping her arms around me and pressing her face against my neck.

"I love you, too."

Those words, spoken against my skin, sent a jolt of electricity through me and I couldn't help my reaction, my arms polling her tightly against me as her weight in my lap and the feeling of her breath against my neck sent a jolt of pure bliss straight through me.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to hear you say that," I breathed.

"Why didn't you say something?" she mumbled, hands curling into the fabric of my coat.

I pulled back to look at her, my hands coming up to frame her face.

"Because I didn't want to ruin what we had... and I was scared," I admitted, my thumbs tracing small circles on her cheeks.

Her eyes searched mine.

"You were scared?" she asked, her voice soft.

"Terrified," I admitted, the word getting caught in my throat. "I was scared if I told you you'd reject me... that you'd tell me you didn't feel the same way, and it would ruin everything."

She gave me a small, almost sad smile.

"So, instead, you decided to keep quiet and suffer in silence? Hmm… we’re both idiots… because I didn’t tell you how I felt for the same reasons."

My heart skipped a beat at her confession.

"That we are," I murmured. "Two idiots in love."

She smiled, the words seeming to warm her from the inside out, and the sight of it made my heart feel like it had ballooned inside my chest.

I stared at her, taking in every detail of her face, and I was struck by how beautiful she was.

"I've been wanting to kiss you for so damn long," I blurted out without thinking.

A soft flush painted her cheeks and her eyes flicked down to my lips before returning to mine.

"Then what are you waiting for?" she murmured, her voice just a little above a whisper.

I didn’t need any more encouragement.

My hand moved to the back of her neck, my fingers tangling in her hair as I pulled her face close and captured her lips with mine.

The touch of her lips sent sparks of electricity through me, the feeling almost overwhelming after so long of imagining what it would be like.

She tasted like marshmallows and hot chocolate, sweet and warm on my tongue as she opened her mouth.

I deepened the kiss, my hands pulling her closer so there was barely any space between us.

It was as if the entire world disappeared, leaving us lost in the feeling of her in my lap, her body pressed against mine and her mouth on mine as we explored each other’s mouths.

Her hands ran down my chest, slipping inside my jacket and sliding over the thick layer of my sweater to rest on my hips.

I groaned, the feel of her hands on me making every muscle in my body tighten and desire pool in my gut. I could feel myself losing the last bit of control I had, all my thoughts and focus zeroing in on her and her alone, but I wanted to take things slow with her.

I didn’t want to just jump into bed with her after confessing that I loved her.

She deserved more than that.

Pulling back to get a breath of air, I reached up and ran my thumb over her cheek as I gazed into her beautiful green eyes.

"I love you, angel."

She smiled, her hand covering mine and holding it in place.

"I love you too, Caleb."

"Say it again."

"I love you."

"Again," I whispered.

"I love you," she repeated, her voice a little softer.

I pulled her against me again, my arms wrapping around her tightly.

"Again."

She laughed.

"Are you going to make me say it a hundred times?"

"Yes."

She snuggled closer, her head resting against my shoulder as she pressed a soft kiss to the skin of my neck.

"I love you."

"Again," I murmured playfully, my lips brushing against her ear.

"Stop it," she half-heartedly protested.

"Okay, I will for now," I whispered, my fingers tracing patterns on her hips.

For a few moments, we sat like that, holding onto each other, the scent of her making me feel almost lightheaded with how happy and content I was.

I had her in my arms finally, and she was mine. I was the luckiest man on earth.

After a few moments, I felt her shiver.

"You cold?" I murmured, my hands running up and down her arms, trying to warm her up.

"A little bit," she said quietly, snuggling closer.

"We should go back inside."

"Smores first."

"Okay, angel," I mumbled, my lips brushing against her hair. "Gotta let me up."

She sighed, her hands fisting in my shirt as she pulled back to look at me.

"No."

The word was almost a whine, and dammit if it didn't make me smile.

"No?" I repeated. "How we gonna make smores with you in my lap?"

A small pout appeared on her lips, and her fingers tightened on my shirt.

"But you're so warm, and I don't want to let go."

I bit back a groan, the idea of her sitting in my lap for the rest of the night suddenly very enticing but I had promised her smores, so we were going to make some.

"Angel..." My voice was rough and I could feel parts of my body starting to respond to her closeness. "As much as I want to stay right here for the rest of the night with you in my lap, we are going to make some smores because I promised you. So, you're going to have to let go."

She huffed, her lower lip still sticking out in a pout.

"Okay…"

"Good girl," I breathed and leaned forward to give her a quick kiss. "Now let me up."

She sighed, releasing her grip on my shirt with a pout and sitting back on my knees.

Shaking my head, I gently wrapped my hands around her waist and helped her up off my lap. The cold air hit us immediately, and I saw her shiver as she wrapped her arms around herself.

"Come on, angel. The faster we make them, the faster you get to sit back in my lap."

"You promise?"

"Yes, now stop pouting."

"I'm not pouting."

"Yes, you are."

"Nope… you’re seeing things."

I couldn't help the smile that pulled on my lips as I shook my head and led her over to the fire pit and got to work on getting the smores ready.

Once the smores were ready I settled down and pulled her into my lap again, one arm wrapped around her waist to keep her close while I brought the treat to my lips and took a bite.

She let out a pleased noise and snuggled against my chest, her head resting over my heart.

"Mm…. smores," she murmured, taking a bite out of her chocolate mess.

I chuckled, the rumble in my chest causing her to smile, and took another bite, the marshmallow and chocolate melting in my mouth.

"Mmm, they are pretty good."

She hummed in agreement.

"Happy?"

She made a small, content sound and nodded.

"Very happy."

I pressed a kiss to the top of her head, the small gesture making something warm flutter in my chest.

"Good. That's all I want, you to be happy."

After we finished off the smores we sat in comfortable silence for a while.

I felt content… happy… and peaceful, holding her in my lap while we sat by the fire. I couldn't remember the last time I had felt so… free.

Now all that was left for me to do before we left… ask her if she was willing to marry me.