fictionkin writes fanfic

A creaking sound across the room interrupted those plans.

Her heart lurched at the sudden noise and presence in her apartment until her eyes locked in on the spare key sitting on her kitchen island.

Oh..."Winn?"

She pressed a hand to her racing heart, willing to slow down as she drew closer, creeping into the light until she could make out his blank expression. He sat still, silent, vacant. His body taut and his eyes rimmed in red. Her presence seemed to jolt him from his daze.

"Yeah...I..." he sprang to his feet, nervously rambling. Her heart ached as he scrambled for his belongings scattered across the floor, "Sorry...I should..."

"No!" she marched forward, feet slapping against the wooden floor before reaching the soft woven rug. She caught his flailing arm in a tight grip and his big hazel eyes leapt to hers. "Sit." She dropped her voice to a quiet whisper and loosened her hold on his warm skin. "Breathe..." She gently guided him to sink back down onto the brown leather couch. "What happened?"

He exhaled, slow and shaky, as they both watched her fingers slip from his tense forearm to hold his trembling hand.

"Hey...." she tried again, "Talk to me?"

"My..." His eyes were still so distant, and his palms were sweaty. It tangled a knot in the base of her throat. What had happened? She'd never seen him like this! He readjusted his grip of her hand again and again, and his tongue ran slowly and thoughtfully over his lips. That hesitation only made her worry bubble and grow, her brows furrowing over narrowed eyes. "My dad came back."

Her stomach lurched. "The one in prison?!"

"Yeah...well..." He grimaced, biting the inside of his cheek, "It's complicated..." he muttered, his eyes searching the room for the right way to begin. "You know what, fuck it!" he slapped his hands down hard on his knees and marched back towards her coat rack to fetch his phone. "I'm calling the Police."

"What?" She shrank her fluffy coat off her shoulders so she could follow him, nervously smoothing her sleek black dress. "Now?"

"Yeah." Her still slightly tipsy brain struggled to track his rambling, angry thoughts. "Get this over with..." he spun around on his heels to face her, "Who knows? Maybe he'll go down in a blaze of glory. He'd love that!"

"Winn..." she sighed. This wasn't the man she knew. Angry and bristling and unraveling before her eyes. "You don't want that..."

"Maybe I do? Maybe they should kill him." He pouted with a nonchalant shrug that she didn't buy for a second. "Why not? Let them. The world will be better off for it. I mean....What's the point, huh? All this prison and rehab and whatever, and for what? He hasn't changed. He won't change. There's something rotten inside of him, something that can't be helped."

"He had a psychotic break, right? That's what you said?" She slowly crossed the room, treading carefully as she neared his tense frame. "Shit happens!"

"No, no...." he muttered incoherently, reaching for his phone again. "It can't be like that, no."

"Why not?"

"Because then what's to stop it from happening to me?! Huh?"

She flinched at that yell, her lips pulling into a tight, thin line, and her brows furrowing deeply. What did he mean? What the hell was he talking about? He was nothing like that piece of shit!?

"You know, my..." she tugged him to the kitchen as he spoke, and he let himself be tossed about. She fetched them both much-needed glasses of water, as his voice began to crack. "My father and I were inseparable. Like, we looked the same, we talked the same. We were good at the same things...." Her frown grew deeper as tears pooled in her eyes at the implication of his words. He thought he was cursed. Damned. Destined to turn into that monster of man. "And now he says we're linked." She felt something rough and sharp claw and rip through her stomach at that tremor in his voice and those hyperbolic words. He never talked like this. Those weren't his words. Someone else had put them there. He was technical and practical. This man had fucked with his head, and she wanted to tear him limb from limb. " Like, what if he's right?"

"He's not!" she stated firmly through gritted teeth, hatred for Winslow bubbling in her mouth and tangling on her tongue.

"His genes are like.... ticking time bombs, just waiting to go off inside of me...Turn me into him."

"You won't," she turned to him fully now, big warm eyes staring up at him hopefully, "I know you...and you're not that kind of person"

"Maybe I am..." The water sloshed in his glass as he shrugged in defeat. "People thought he was good...They thought he was kind...and normal...And then he cracked."

"You won't do that," she couldn't tell anymore which of them she was trying to convince as his face grew hard and firm.

"You don't know me..." Her stomach twisted nervously as his voice grew dark and gravely. "Every time... I start to get angry, I think, "Could this be it? Could this be the day that I lose everything?" "

"You won't lose everything!" she protested, but he shrugged her off and wandered back to sit on the sofa. "You won't! Hey....Hey...Look at me." She pulled his cheek towards her to meet her gaze, ignoring how warm he felt against her skin or how her fingers trembled slightly. "You won't break. You're good....You're strong. I've seen it."

"I'm not," he cracked, his bottom lip pulling into a wide pout.

"Yes, you are..." she doubled down, shifting up to tuck her legs under her and huddling closer to him staring deep into those aching brown eyes. "because you're sitting here, talking to me, instead of out there somewhere...." she waved her free hand vaguely at the window, "hunting him down. You're not giving in to the anger...or the fear." she brought her free hand up to hold his other cheek, keeping him still and focused and not letting him drop her gaze. "Listen to me, his actions? Don't define you. Back then...or now...You do that..."

"I don't know..." he rolled his neck in an attempt to escape her warm words and direct gaze, but she kept him locked in.

"You are not going to turn into your father....If you can't believe that, then believe me....Please?" her voice cracked as she saw the disbelief and struggle in his eyes, her tears matching his own now as they slipped down her cheeks, "I've seen you carry groceries up the stairs and help little old ladies cross the street. You're the guy who fixed my AC at 2 in the morning and convinced me to forgive my best friend when we got into that stupid fight because you knew I'd regret it later."

A sigh of relief flooded her chest with warmth when he finally released a weak little laugh. She pushed down the urge to hug and tightened her grip on his face.

"You give so much to everyone when you could be taking. You could be greedy and selfish and hate the world like your father does, but you don't. You choose to give back. And that linked thing?" She finally released him and sat back on her heels. "Bullshit!" he mumbled, another encouraging quiet laugh, blushing as he avoided her eyes at the intimacy of her protective rage. "He doesn't get to put that shit in your head and make you sweat like this. If you and he are linked, bound, or whatever..." she threw up her hands in a dismissive toss "then fuck it, so are we! You have me...and Kara...and-"

Her words were cut short by the odd sound of a strangled sigh of relief and him pulling her lips to his.

She froze.

Once her brain caught up with her body, her heart melted. This was all she had been thinking about for weeks, and yet now once she had it in front of her, she was choking like some kind of virgin amateur. Frozen and shocked and still. This silly little nerd had more game in this moment than she felt like she'd had in years.

This was Winn. Her Winn.

Just as she began to return the kiss, letting her eyes fall closed and her hand lift to the back of his neck, he flinched away. "I ah..." She immediately missed his warmth, lingering close and searching his eyes in confusion. His breath came out in heavy pants against her chin. "I am so sorry....I shouldn't've...I'm just upset... and-"

She pulled him in again, but he groaned in frustration and tugged himself away. "No, you're...." he didn't meet her pleading eyes. "You don't mean that. You...you've been out drinking and I..."

"I mean it."

He paled and his wide eyes shot to hers. "What?"

"I..." she swallowed thickly, pushing her hair back out of her face. Her eyes searched the couch for the right words. The right way to not burden him on an already shitty day. "I know you like Kara...and I know I act like I know what I'm doing...Like I'm...brave and brash and...whatever but..." She took a deep breath as her heart pounded in her chest. Slowly, she lifted her big, scared eyes back up to his. "I've been waiting for you to see me."

He launched himself forward and pulled her in again. Warm lips crashing onto hers, a firm hand cupping her cheek, and the other pressing into the leather couch to keep himself from nose-diving face-first into her chest.

With a sigh of relief rushing out of her nose, her muscles unwound, and she wrapped her arms around his neck. Her cheeks were glowing with the urge to beam. Her heart was soaring. Tomorrow things might change; he might put a stop to this and tell her to be sensible, he might chalk it up to a stupid mistake and fully understand how much she really cared, but for now...for now, it was actually happening.

For now, the world felt smooth and warm and safe. Bathed in the soft glow of the lamp light and soaked in his warmth, she felt peaceful and unhurried. He smelled like clean, understated cologne and fresh linen. Not cheap and immature scents filling up gym locker-rooms or expensive and showy remnants trailing after men who walked past at the club, but simple....unassuming. Perfectly him.

Of course if you didn’t know the material as well as you did, the question was open-ended enough that the answer could be limitless. 

“If I get this right,” you leant on his desk that separated the two of you. “I get to choose what you take off next.”

Spencer chuckled darkly. 

“I guess there’s no prize for me guessing which item I’ll be taking off.” 

“That’s only if I get it right though.” You shrugged, sitting back in your chair. 

“I think we both know that you know the answer to this. So stop playing games and tell me so you can get what you really want.” 

His hands were on his waistband, ready to tug his boxers down as soon as you got the answer right. 

But that was too easy. You decided to toy with him a little more. 

“Uh…I think it's the lack of discussion around gender differences in crime.” 

Spencer went to pull off his underwear and halted when he realised what you said. 

He frowned at you. 

“You know that’s not the answer.”

“Isn’t it?” You chewed your lip. “Oh, looks like you’ve still got your work cut out for you with me then.” 

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you really were struggling with the material.” He pushed himself up from his chair and rounded the desk. 

“Whatever do you mean, Doctor Reid? I am struggling with the material.” 

He clenched his jaw, not wanting to blurt out that he knew about your little game. 

“That’s a shame, truly.” He sat on the edge of the desk, his dick throbbing through the flimsy material of his boxers. “I hoped the promise of me naked would be enough motivation to get the answer right.”

“There’s always more questions.” You smirked at him. 

“Actually, there isn’t. Time is up for today.” He pushed himself away from the desk and went about putting the rest of his clothes back on leaving you feeling disheartened.

“Got somewhere better to be?” You stood up, watching him pull his pants on and struggle to button them over his erection.

“Better, no.” He smirked. “But I do have another engagement to get to.” 

“Ooh, do tell me what the elusive Doctor Reid gets up to on his Friday’s nights. Masturbating over his students in the shower followed by a microwave dinner for one?” You folded your arms and cocked your head to the side. 

Spencer chuckled, pulling his tie over his messy head of hair and fixing it in place. 

“Normally, yes.” He tucked his shirt into his pants. “But tonight I am…hitting the town.” 

The look that washed over you wasn’t lost on him. You were jealous. And Spencer loved that. 

“Found someone your own age? I see how it is. I’m just some kind of game to entertain yourself with until someone more age appropriate comes along?” You snatched your bag up from the floor and threw it over your shoulder. 

You started towards the door but before you reached it, Spencer’s hand was wrapping around wrist and pulling you back to face him. 

“Are you jealous, angel?” He pushed you back against the door. 

“No.” You scoffed even though it was clear you were. 

“I think you’re jealous, Y/N.” He ran his fingers over your bare arms until he reached your shoulders and then he cupped your neck. 

“Well I’m not. I would only have to so much as walk into any bar downtown and all the mens eyes would be on me. I can just as easily get laid tonight, Doctor Reid.” 

He thrust his hips against you, causing you to whimper. 

“Now that I would like to see.” He gripped your throat. “I’m meeting a couple of my old BAU colleagues for drinks at a bar called The Town Tavern, do you know it?”

“Yes.” You swallowed against his hand. 

“You’re going to be there but you aren’t going to speak to me. You’re going to have a few drinks and wait for me to text you.”

“What are you going to text me?” You choked as he held your throat harder. 

“The guy I want you to take home.” He smirked, letting you go and stepping back from you. 

“W-what?” 

“You’re going to put on a real good show for me, angel.” He went about collecting up his things while you stared at him dumbly. “Really make me jealous.” 

“I don’t understand.” 

He moved you aside so he could unlock the door. 

“I feel I’m being quite clear.” He told you somewhat sternly. “I’m going to pick out a guy for you and you’re going to see just how jealous you can make me.” He placed a chaste kiss on your temple before opening the door. 

“But Spencer I-“

“Be there in an hour.” He cut you off and then he was leaving. 

You stared at him as he retreated down the corridor, your heart thrumming against your ribs. 

Doctor Reid was too good at rendering you speechless. But if he wanted you to make him jealous, who were you to deny him that? 

***

Almost an hour and a half later, Spencer heard the door to the bar open and forced himself to contain his smile when you walked in. 

You briefly glanced his way before continuing on to the bar. 

Luke and Matt were chatting away between themselves, so enraptured in whatever they were saying they didn’t notice Spencer’s lack of interest. 

He watched you slide into a bar stool and get the bartender's attention almost immediately. He wasn’t the only male in the room that had their eyes on you. 

You had an air about you, confident and sexy, that had all the men in the room wanting you. 

He’d already spotted a few potential candidates for you, but he was in no rush. He would bide his time. 

The bartender handed you what looked like a Long Island iced tea and you smiled sweetly at him in thanks and sipped it through the straw. 

You pulled your phone from your bag and he watched you tap on it for a minute before his phone buzzed in his pocket. 

He smiled to himself as fished it out and looked at the screen. 

📱 Delilah: do you have a good view, Doctor? 

📲 Perfect, thank you angel. 

📱 Delilah: you know I wouldn’t mind taking home that delicious man on your left ;) 

Spencer smirked as he briefly glanced at Luke on his left before turning back to his phone. 

📲 You really do like an older man, don’t you? I have someone more your own age in mind, sweetheart. 

He saw a small shudder pass up your spine as you read his text and then you placed the device on the bar and focused on your drink. 

Spencer turned back to his conversation with Luke and Matt and tried to ignore your presence at the bar. 

He left you to stew for a while, ignoring two texts from you asking what you were supposed to be doing. 

He’d had his eye on a muscular college jock for you and he was biding his time until the man made his way to the bar. 

You were on your third Long Island when your phone went off.

📱 Doctor Danny: him, the blonde meat head to your right. He’s had eyes on you since the moment you walked in. Make me jealous, angel.

You glanced from your phone to the man standing on your right. He was already staring at you with a grin on his face. 

“What’s a pretty girl like you doing here alone?” 

What a fucking line, you tried to not roll your eyes. 

“Oh you know,” you smirked at him. “Waiting for someone to keep me company.”

You could feel Spencer’s eyes on you and it was making you both hot under the collar and wet between your legs. 

“You’re in luck then.” He slid into the stool next to you. “I’m also looking for someone to keep me company.” 

“I’m…Delilah.” You decided to use Spencer’s nickname for you, holding out your hand for the man to shake. 

“Travis.” He took your hand and shook it. “A beautiful name for a beautiful woman. Can I buy you a drink?”

“Please.” 

Spencer felt a shifting in his pants and he had to adjust himself in the booth so his friends wouldn’t notice. 

“Earth to Doctor Reid?” Matt’s voice snapped him back around. 

“Huh?” 

“You’ve been staring at that chick all night.” Luke laughed, patting his shoulder. 

“Looks like you missed your chance, buddy.” Matt shrugged, pointing to the man you were now talking with. 

“Sorry, I’m a little preoccupied.” He chewed his lip, swirling his whiskey around in his glass. 

“I think you could give him a run for his money.” Luke nudged him with a wink. 

Oh if only you knew, Spencer thought, glancing back over at you. 

You threw your head back as you laughed at something the blonde had said, placing your hand gently on his shoulder. 

Spencer’s stomach tightened in a knot of jealousy. You were really good at playing this part, too good. Was he really going to let you go through this? Was he really willing to let you go home with another man?

“Let’s cut to the chase shall we?” You leaned into Travis, seeing no point in delaying giving Spencer what he wanted. 

“Oh yeah?” Travis smirked as you wrapped your hands around his neck, pulling him to his feet. 

He stepped between your thighs and you turned him a little by his shoulders so you could see Spencer over his head. 

When you kissed him, you kept your eyes open and on Spencer, pressing your body against Travis’. 

Spencer’s jaw clenched watching the man’s hands grip your hips and kiss you deeply. 

Your eyes were dark as you stared at him across the bar, pulling the other man as close to you as physically possible. 

When the man placed one hand on your bare thigh, Spencer’s chest constricted. His hand edged higher up your silky skin, below your dress.

You tore your lips from the man’s and he moved your hair aside so he could latch onto your neck. 

Your eyes were still on Spencer’s and your lips were parted and Spencer could practically hear your gasps of pleasure. 

At some point Luke and Matt called it a night, leaving Spencer wrapped in his jealousy. 

He watched the man grinding his steroid shrunken cock against your thigh as he sucked on your neck. 

Spencer gripped the table until his knuckles were white. It was a heady combination, he was equal parts turned on and envious. 

When the man’s hand got higher still, Spencer snapped. Before he knew what came over him he was marching across the bar, grabbing the man by the shoulder and ripping him away from you. 

“What the fuck?” The guy spat at Spencer. “What’s your problem?”

“You.” Spencer growled. “You are my problem. Leave. Now.” 

“You’re not the boss of me.” The man folded his thick meaty arms over his chest as if to intimidate Spencer. 

It didn’t work. 

“You will leave now and never bother her again. Am I clear?” Spencer’s voice was strong and levelled and you wouldn’t blame anyone for being scared by his tone. 

Travis looked like he might argue but you saw the fear flash in his eyes. 

“Whatever.” He scoffed, dropping his hands to his sides. “I don’t need the drama.” 

As soon as he left with his tail between his legs, Spencer grabbed you by the bicep and tugged you off your stool. 

You whined a little as he dragged you outside, around the corner and into an alleyway. 

He threw you up against the wall and you winced as your back collided with the brick.

“Is that the green eyed monster I see, Doctor?” You smirked at him 

“Did he touch you?” Spencer palmed his cock through his pants. 

“No. But we were heading that way.”

“Do you know what a whore that makes you?” He hissed at you. 

“I was just following orders, Doctor.” You replied innocently. “If that makes me a whore, then that’s what you’ve made me into.” 

He moved closer to you, placing one hand on the wall next to your head but keeping his hips back enough so he could free himself from his pants. 

You whimpered at the sight of his cock, the first time you’d had the privilege of seeing it in the flesh. He started stroking himself, eyes firmly on you. 

“Touch yourself.” He growled against your ear, his lips barely ghosting your skin. 

You whined again, but you obeyed, pulling your dress over your hips and slipping your hand into your panties. 

His eyes raked down your body, following the path your hand had taken. 

“How wet are you?” He grunted, tugging his dick. 

“Very.” You panted.

“Of course you are, you fucking whore.” He rested his head on your shoulder, jerking you a little with his movements. His hot breath on your skin combined with his grunts and the way your own fingers felt was electrifying. 

“You could always touch me yourself and find out.” You dared whisper, and were punished by Spencer biting down on your shoulder, teeth sinking easily into your flesh. 

“You’d like that wouldn’t you?” He spoke into your skin. “My long, nimble fingers sinking inside of you while you fuck yourself on them.”

You moaned, rolling your hips as you moved your fingers faster on your clit. 

You looked down at Spencer’s hand expertly tugging himself off. He really was huge and you wanted him inside of you more than anything else in the world. 

“I’d rather fuck myself on your cock, Doctor.” You leant your head back against the wall and Spencer’s lips found the hollow of your throat. 

He didn’t bite you, he didn’t even suck on your flesh. He simply pressed his lips gently against your throat, barely ghosting your skin. 

“How? Tell me how.” He spoke against your throat and you felt his voice reverberate through you. 

“Behind your desk.” You panted. “You sitting in your chair, cock waiting for me. I’d kneel over you and lower myself onto you. You’d watched yourself disappear inside of me inch by inch and then I’d ride you so fucking hard the chair would collapse from under us.” 

Spencer thrust against you, his cock brushing against your thigh, causing your knees to buckle a little. He moved back so he could continue working himself.

“Then what?” He rested his head on your shoulder again, his long hair tickling your skin. 

“I’d ride you until you came inside of me, filling my slutty little hole with your load. And I’d keep you nice and warm inside of me until you got hard again and then I’d fucked you all over again.”

“You want to be completely filled with my come, don’t you angel?” He grunted, his breathing heavy. 

“Yes. Yes, Doctor. I want to be so full.” 

“Fuck.” He whined pathetically. “I’m gonna come.”

“M-me too…ohhhhh!” You came, you back shuddering against the wall and feeling Spencer’s hot load spill onto your thigh. 

He stayed with his head on your shoulder, breathing heavily while his whole body shook in his come down. 

You both stayed still for several minutes after, your hand still inside your underwear and Spencer still holding his softening dick. 

“I know you’re pretending to not understand the material so I’ll spend time with you. Your friends were joking about it that night at the poetry slam.” He panted into your shoulder. 

“W-what?” Your body stiffened. 

“I don’t care.” He shook his head, standing back so he could look at you while he tucked himself away. “But I’m not wasting my time teaching you things you already know.” 

“So what does that mean? No more study sessions?” You pulled your dress down, trying to hide the sadness from your voice. 

“You’re all I can think about, angel.” He ignored you, running his finger over your jaw. “And not in a good way. I can’t focus on anything because of you.”

You chewed on your lip a little sadly as you sighed into his touch. 

“No more study sessions.” You whined. 

“No.” He smiled wistfully at you. “We have two more months until the end of the semester and you aren’t my student anymore. I promise you, the second you walk out of my class for the last time I will be at your fucking mercy. But until then I have to keep my distance from you.

No more dirty texts, no more secret gifts left on my desk. No more dressing like this in my class. If you can do that for me, I promise you will have every part of me the second the semester is through. Do you think you can do that for me, angel?”

He cupped your cheek, his touch featherlight. And you swore you saw tears in his eyes. 

“I can do that.” You croaked, feeling close to tears yourself. 

“Such a good girl.” Spencer purred. 

He leaned in close to you, his breath hot against your face and you thought he was going to finally kiss you. 

He did kiss you, but it was a small peck on the corner of your mouth. He lingered for a second as though he might change his mind and just ravage you. But he didn’t. He pulled back, stroking your hair off your forehead and stepping away from you. 

“Don’t let men like that use you, angel, you are so much better than that.” 

“I won’t.” You shook your head. “The next man to get near me like that will be you, Doctor.” 

He smiled with a large sigh. 

“And I promise it will be worth your while.” He winked at you before turning on his heels and heading back down the alleyway. 

And for some ungodly reason, you started to cry. Your body wracked with sobs once you were alone and you buried your face in your hands. 

Despite his promises, why did this feel like goodbye before you’d ever really had a chance to begin?

*** 

It was the longest two months of your life. You went back to fully applying yourself in Doctor Reid class. He was amazed by how smart you really were. 

Outside of class you had nothing to do with each other. Two weeks after he’d ended your little charade you’d drunkenly texted him telling him you missed him. 

He hadn’t responded. And in the morning you deleted his number from your phone to save any further embarrassment. 

Spencer missed you with every beat of his heart. Every time he taught you and had to stand at the front of the class while you barely made eye contact with him, his heart shattered a little more.

And when you’d text him to tell him you missed him, it had taken every ounce of his willpower not to reply. 

It was becoming clear to him that despite how much he wanted fuck you, somewhere along the line it had become about so much more than that. 

You weren’t just beautiful and sexy. You were incredibly intelligent, funny, sassy and interesting. He wanted to fuck you yes, but he also wanted to love you. 

Love had never been something that came easy to Spencer, not since losing Maeve the way he had. Spencer used sex as defence against his feelings. Sex was the barrier he put up to stop people getting close to his heart. 

And it had worked for years. No one had ever come close to breaking down his walls. 

But you bulldozed them as though they were made of paper, so easy for you to slip between and worm your way into his heart and soul. 

And the worst part was, you hadn’t even tried to. You were so effortless that you’d comfortably slid beneath Spencer’s barriers without either or you noticing. 

You were young, you simply wanted to have sex with the pretty older professor, you weren’t in this for love or anything other than the physical. 

But neither was Spencer, it had just sort of happened. 

And so when the end of the semester came, Spencer had made a decision. 

He was already in too deep, he knew if he slept with you there was no turning back. He would inevitably be bound to you, falling for you hook, line and sinker. 

And neither of you needed that. 

At the end of your final class you approached him at the front of class and Spencer had to pull at his years of FBI training to keep his face neutral. If you saw even a sign of weakness, this wasn’t going to end well for him. 

“Hey,” you smiled sweetly at him and even that was almost enough to break him. “So…I guess I’m not your student anymore.”

“Guess not.” He shuffled some papers on the desk to avoid your gaze. 

“I suppose it’s not inappropriate anymore if I ask you out for a drink then?” You leaned your palms on his desk and Spencer thought he deserved an award for not looking down your dress. 

“Look, Y/N,” he looked up at you, meeting your gaze. “I tried to let you down easily but that clearly didn’t work so I guess we’ll have to do this the hard way. I am not interested in you ok? You’re a kid and I’m a grown man. Frankly I think it’s quite pathetic the way you keep pursuing me. It was fun for a while but it’s getting annoying now so do us both a favor and stay away from me.” 

Spencer felt his own heart shattering his chest and he desperately wanted to take it all back. 

Your eyes filled with tears in an instant as you stared at him in confusion. 

“You…but I…I don’t understand.” Your voice cracked as you spoke. 

“You were just a bit of fun but then the fun got old fast. Did you really believe I could be interested in you?” 

“Wow.” You spat, anger washing away your sadness. “So you really did use me, huh? What, it’s not fun anymore now it’s not illicit?”

“Exactly.” He shrugged. 

“Fuck you Doctor Reid.” You seethed. “You’re not a man. You’re a pitiful little coward. You don’t deserve me.” 

“Respectfully, Miss Y/L/N, I would like you to leave.” 

“Respectfully, Doctor Reid,” you growled, turning on your heels. “Go fuck yourself.” 

He watched you storm away while his heart exploded in his chest. His first tear fell before you’d made it out of the auditorium. By the time the door slammed behind you, he was sobbing into his arms. 

It was entirely possible he had gone about this the completely wrong way. He’d been scared off by his feelings for you and stupidly thought pushing you away was his only option. 

Spencer Reid might be a provable genius but when it came to matters of the heart, he was a complete and utter moron. 

***

In all your years you’d never felt as stupid as you did that day leaving campus with tears flowing down your cheeks after having your heart broken by Doctor Reid. 

Of course he hadn’t really been interested in, what had you been thinking? He was a beautiful, older man, it had never been about more than simply getting in your pants. 

But if that was the case, why had he been so insistent on waiting? He could have had you the night of your first study sessions if he’d wanted, or in the bathroom at The Brighton at the poetry slam. 

He could have had you on multiple occasions, but he was always the one adamant you wait until you left his class. 

Alleviate blame. 

If he’d slept with you while you were still his student and then kicked you to the curb, what’s to say you wouldn’t have gone to the Dean? Spencer had been smart, he’d towed the line without crossing it completely. He couldn’t get into trouble because of this and he’d manufactured it so. 

It was hard to make you feel stupid, but Doctor Reid had played you like the stupid little girl he knew you were deep down. 

You were smarter than this, too smart to find yourself in this situation. 

You’d thought you’d been the one in control this whole time, orchestrating every move to get what you’d wanted. But you’d been a pawn in his game all along. 

He was smarter than you. He was so smart he’d been able to make you feel as though you were in charge when really he’d been pulling your strings this whole time. 

So with your classes wrapped up you left Georgetown a few months later and decided to put Doctor Spencer Reid behind you, which was easier said than done. 

It would be a long time until you stopped thinking about him everyday and even longer still until you stopped thinking about him entirely. 

He still inhabited a small part of your brain for years to come, a warning sign to never let yourself close to people. A constant reminder of what happened when you did. 

And then eventually you’d meet someone else, your walls would slowly lower and you’d let him in. And you’d love him. 

But he’d never be Doctor Spencer Reid. 

***

Five Years Later

Spencer did not know how JJ had talked him into this. How was it that after all these years JJ could pretty much talk him into walking off a cliff and he’d agree? 

Funny, really, because he felt much like he was about to walk off a cliff. 

It wasn’t that JJ still held the same spell over him she used to when he was young and naive and practically worshipped the ground she walked on. 

It was that she knew him so well, his best friend of nearly twenty years and she just knew how to talk Spencer into doing things he didn’t always want to do. 

Admittedly, this hadn’t been an easy sell. She’d been trying to set him up with a friend of hers for months now and every time Spencer would decline. 

And then they’d gone for drinks and she’d asked him again when he was on his fourth whiskey and the “sure, why not” had just come flying off of his inebriated tongue before he could stop it. 

It was a dirty move and he was sure to make JJ know he wasn’t at all happy about this situation. But, and he would never admit this to her, her friend did sound pretty fucking great. 

She was younger than him, but it was no secret Spencer had always had a thing for younger women. She was incredibly intelligent with an IQ that almost rivalled his own. 

She worked for Andi Swann on the Domestic Trafficking Task Force which was how JJ had met her when they crossed paths during the course of a case several years ago. 

She liked great literature and strong coffee. She had her life together. And according to JJ she was also very beautiful. 

And Spencer had been alone for so long now that his heart yearned for someone to share his life with. For years he’d been happy being alone, it had been his comfort zone for as long as he could remember.

He dated, but dating to Spencer only meant sleeping with the same woman more than once. 

For a long time he’d been happy with his life the way it was, meaningless sex with nameless women was enough to combat the lonliless. 

But one day he suddenly craved more.

He wanted a woman to still be there in the morning, someone he could hold while they slept and make coffee to start their day together. 

He wanted walks in the park hand in hand, spending days aimlessly pursuing bookstores and coffee shops and museums. 

He wanted a partner for more than just one night. 

It was probably inevitable at his age to want those things but Spencer had tried to deny it for as long as he could. 

But recently he simply hated being alone. 

So he dressed up nicely, crisp white shirt with the top few buttons undone, pressed black slacks and matching suit jacket. He’d even forgone his trusty converse in lieu of a smarter shoe choice. 

He’d shaved, which Spencer didn’t find himself doing that often these days and spent a long time trying to tame his unruly hair. 

Sitting at the bar waiting for JJ’s friend to arrive, Spencer was nervous. It wasn’t an entirely new feeling for him, when he was younger Spencer was nervous of everything. 

But it had been a long time since he’d been nervous because of a woman. 

He drummed his fingers on the bar, periodically sipping his whiskey. He didn’t want to be drunk, he just needed to try and take the edge off. 

Why was putting yourself out there so damn terrifying? 

***

You were running late, no surprise there. Honestly you would have thought by now your timekeeping would have improved. 

Admittedly, your tardiness was completely avoidable today. You could have been on time if you’d wanted to be. 

But you didn’t want to go on this damn date in the first place. 

Between your hectic job and three rescue dogs at home, dating was usually the furthest thing from your mind. 

After your engagement to Brad had fallen through just over a year ago and subsequently had your heart broken again, you swore off men. 

You had your dogs, Poco, Coco and Loco for company, and the occasional one night stand fed your urges. Your job was demanding and kept your mind busy so you didn’t have time to think about how fucking lonely you were. 

But your friend had practically forced you on this date, claiming she just wanted you to be happy and she was sure her friend would be perfect for you. 

Fat chance of that, but at the very least you might get laid. 

You smoothed down the front of your summer dress as you reached the door of The Brighton. 

It had been several years since you’d set foot in here, was it still a college bar? If so, how young was the guy you’d been set up with? 

You didn’t like sleeping with college guys when you were in college. 

Well, not unless they were teaching. 

You shook that thought off as you pushed open the door and stepped inside, heading towards the bar. 

Now was most certainly not the time to be thinking about Doctor Spencer Reid and his messy curls and his intense eyes…

…Just like the ones that were staring at you right now. 

You stopped dead in your tracks as he offered you a shy smile and one of his awkward waves you used to find so adorable but now made you want to punch him. 

“Y/N, wow, it’s been a long time.” He slid off his stool, uncomfortably stuffing his hands in his pockets. 

“Doctor Reid,” you swallowed. “Wh-what uh…what are you doing here?”

“Waiting for someone.” He shrugged. 

“Me too.” You chewed your lip. “Maybe I’ll go wait somewhere else.” 

How mortifying would it be if your date really was young and Spencer Reid just happened to be here to witness it? 

What were the fucking chances? 

“Please, you don’t have to do that.” He shook his head. “It’s been a long time, we can sit and have a drink together like adults while we wait, can’t we?” 

“I’m an adult now am I?” You couldn’t help yourself. “Because I seem to recall the last time I saw you, you were calling me a kid.” 

“Ok, I deserve that. But comparatively you were a kid.”

“It’s not like the age gap between us has changed, Doctor. So comparatively I guess I’m still a kid.” You turned on your heels not caring anymore about your date, you had to get out of here. 

Spencer’s hand around your wrist stopped you getting away. 

“Do you have to make everything so difficult?” His eyes were dark as they stared at you and for some ungodly reason it still had the same effect on you it did all those years ago. “Sit down and have a drink with me. Please?” 

His voice was still just as commanding as you remembered it being and he was still able to control you with it. 

You huffed a little and let him lead you back to the bar where you both slid onto stools next to one another. 

“Good girl,” he muttered under his breath but you still heard him. 

“You have not changed one bit, do you know that Doctor?” You spat, folding your arms. 

“You’re adorable when you’re angry.” He smirked. 

“I am not still the stupid “kid” I was when we met. I am a grown fucking woman. I am not a good girl and I am most certainly not adorable.”

“If you say so.” Spencer shrugged, turning to the bartender and ordering you a Long Island iced tea before turning back to you. “I assume your drink choice hasn’t changed?” 

“No.” You clenched your jaw. 

“Some things don’t change.” 

“A lot of things do.” You rolled your eyes. 

You didn’t thank Spencer for the drink when it was handed to you and he hadn’t expected you to either. 

You kept looking at your watch and over your shoulder at the door, trying to keep your eyes away from him. 

“Been stood up?” Spencer asked after a while. “I think I have too.” 

You narrowed your eyes on him, sipping your drink. 

“Brad probably just got caught up with work. He does that.” 

“Brad, huh?” Spencer raised his whiskey glass to his lips. 

“My fiancé.” What am I doing? 

Were you seriously using your ex as bait? 

“I didn’t realise, you don’t wear a ring.” Spencer’s face was a picture of amusement and you wanted to slap it off of him. 

“It’s being resized.” You averted your gaze from his, knowing he could tell when you were lying. 

“Convenient.” He hid his laugh with another sip of his drink. 

“Who are you waiting for? Some poor woman you can fuck and dump?” You looked back at him. 

You saw a wave of hurt wash over him but he quickly corrected himself.

“My girlfriend. Going on three years.” He knew it was pathetic to lie to you but if you were really here to meet your fiancé he didn’t want you to think he was still painfully single. 

“Another one of your students?” Your hostility towards him was showing no signs of letting up. 

He didn’t blame you, you’d never had a chance to be mad at him for what he’d done so he knew he deserved this. 

“No, not a student. I learnt my lesson.” 

“Good for you.” You scoffed, fishing your phone out of your bag and focusing on that. 

📲 Jennifer Jareau: have you heard anything from this guy? I'm starting to think he stood me up. 

You stared at the phone screen until the three little dots appeared at the bottom, signifying her typing her response. 

A few seconds later a message appeared on the screen. 

📱 He should already be there? He texted me saying he arrived a little while ago. 

📲 Jennifer Jareau: any hints as to what I’m looking for? 

“So what are you doing these days?” Spencer’s voice snapped you away from your phone. 

“I work for the FBI actually. Domestic Trafficking Task Force.” 

Your phone vibrated and you glanced back down at it. 

📱 Kinda dorky, tall, slim, messy hair. He’ll almost categorically be wearing a suit. Think college professor but in a charming way. 

“No.” You muttered, hand flying to your mouth as you gasped. 

You looked back up at Spencer who was staring at you wide eyed. 

The realisation had hit him too as soon as you said where you worked.

“You know JJ?” His voice was croaky. 

“Yes. We met-“

“On a case. Right.” Spencer rolled his lip between his teeth.

“You’re…we’re…”

“We’re on a blind date…with each other.” Spencer rubbed his eyes with his palms thinking how unbelievable this was. 

“You said you were waiting for your girlfriend!”

“You said you were waiting for your fiancé.” 

“Fuck.” You groaned. “I got dressed up for this! I put make-up on! I put on nice fucking underwear.” 

Spencer audibly whimpered at the last sentence, shuddering at the mere thought. 

You ignored him. 

“Have you really slept with so many women in DC you’re now doubling up?”

“Well, we never did sleep together, so…” he smirked at you, leaning a little closer. 

“Get that look on your face before I slap it off.” You growled. “This is fucked. I didn’t even want to come today but Jennifer insisted this guy was perfect for me. Jesus fucking Christ.” 

You threw a twenty on the bar and slid out of your stool, snatching up your bag and phone. 

“Oh come on, Y/N.” Spencer jumped up too. “It’s been five years. Can we not at least make the most of this? Just have a drink and catch up? You might even find you have fun.” 

“You hurt me.” You confessed out of nowhere. “You hurt me so fucking badly it took me years to pick up those pieces. And seeing you again has brought all that pain to the surface. You broke my heart Spencer!” 

“What?” He stepped back, scratching the back of his head. “I…but I thought…”

“What Spencer? What did you think?” You spat. 

“I thought it was just about sex for you. I ended things because I was falling in love with you and I didn’t want to get my heart broken.” He admitted. 

“You thought it was just about sex for me? You were sex crazed Spencer! I was falling in love with you and you just cast me aside and told me you weren’t interested in me!” 

“I went about it the wrong way.” He sighed. “I knew that then and I still know that now. But I didn’t think you wanted anything serious, least of all with someone so much older than you. I ended things because I knew if we slept together I would most certainly fall in love with you and then you’d leave and find someone your own age and I…I…breaking my own heart seemed easier than letting you break it.” 

You surprised Spencer when you moved closer to him, cautiously placing your hand on his shoulder which he melted into. 

“Maybe we should test that theory.” You whispered. 

“Wh-what theory?” He swallowed. 

“That you’d fall in love with me if we slept together. You did once tell me you could fuck me over the sink of this very bar.” 

Fuck, was that here? 

His eidetic memory must have failed him because he hadn’t realised it was the same bar. 

“Uh…fuck, yes I did.”

“Well, what are we waiting for?” You winked at him and then turned away from him. 

He watched you saunter towards the narrow corridor at the back of the bar that led the bathrooms. 

For a moment, he was frozen to the spot. One minute you’d been arguing and now you were proposing sex in the bathroom?

Had he missed something? 

You looked at him over your shoulder as you walked, your eyes telling him to hurry up. 

Spencer swallowed and scurried after you, his head a complete, fucking mess. 

He found you in the women's room and you were quick to lock the door behind him and push him up against it. 

“Is this a good idea?” He swallowed as your hands rested on his shoulders. “I mean, I have had many dirty dreams about this happening and admittedly in a few of them, it did happen in a bathroom. But do you not think…do you not want our first time to be…special?” 

“Have you gone soft on me, Doctor?” 

“Trust me, angel, there is nothing soft about me right now.” As if to prove this, he rolled his hips forward so you could feel just how hard he was. 

“There will be time for special. But right now…we’ve waited five years for this and I honestly don’t think I can wait a second longer.” You chewed your lip, leaning a little closer to him. 

You ghosted your lips over his, the closest you’d ever come to kissing. Spencer’s hands quickly cupped your face, looking you deep in the eyes. 

“I’m going to take you to the gates of heaven, angel.” He inched closer, painfully slowly, really drawing it out. 

His breath fanned across your face and he brushed his lips over yours, that small sentiment alone making you moan. 

His chapped lips against yours felt like they’d found their rightful place in the world but you needed more. 

He moved them to your jaw, placing tender kisses along the side of your face, causing you to shudder. 

It was as though he was scared to kiss you, fearful of giving over to all those feelings he’d held onto all these years. 

You allowed his lips to gently brush across your face, feeling more goosebumps flare under your skin with each one. 

After a while he leant his forehead against yours, licking his bottom lip in contemplation. 

“I’ve waited so long for this.” His voice was breathy and it caressed your face. 

Your lips were begging for his kiss, you’d imagined what they would feel like way too many times. 

“Me too.” You wrapped your arms around his neck, fingers grazing the hair at the back of his head. 

“I’m…scared.” He chuckled lightly, his eyes giving way to his embarrassment. 

His lips were so close, it would be so easy to crash them against yours. But you refrained. 

“Of what?” 

“Everything.” He confessed. 

His tongue swiped across his bottom lip again and it was so close to your own lip you swore you felt his saliva on your skin. 

“I’m scared to love you. I’m scared of losing you. I’m scared of letting you down.” 

“Where’s the confident, possessive Doctor Reid that once told me I couldn’t handle him?” You smirked, running your fingers through his hair. 

“Y/N,” he smiled sadly. “It was always me who was worried he couldn’t handle you.” 

“Doctor Reid, with all due respect, you’ll never know until you try. And I swear to god if you don’t kiss me soon I’m going to-“

He cut you off when his lips finally crashed against yours and you moaned instantly against him. With your lips parted he was quickly to slide his tongue inside your mouth. 

You both moaned together as your tongues explored one another in an explosion of years worth of longing. 

Kissing Spencer was all you’d imagined it to be and more. Electricity coursed through every single one of your nerve endings, making you feel as though you were on fire. 

But in the best possible way. 

His tongue was hungry, but so was yours. It was a frantic and desperate kiss that was years in the making. 

Your hairs stood on end, your chest tightened and a familiar heat spread between your legs. 

Spencer’s hands left your face and trailed to your hips which he used to maneuver you towards the bay of sinks without breaking the kiss. 

When your ass collided with the counter, you jumped blindly and Spencer caught you, setting you down in front of one of the basins. 

You wrapped your legs around his waist pulling him impossibly closer. His sheathed cock pressed against your panty clad core and he grinded into you, a string of moans leaving both your lips and entering the other's mouth. 

His fingers grazed your bare thighs, dancing along the hem of your dress that was so reminiscent of the ones you wore back then that drove him wild. 

In return you palmed him through his slacks, rubbing up and down his shaft making his hips buck. 

He suddenly tore his lips away from yours, panting furiously and chest heaving. 

He tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and then he dropped to his knees on the floor, tugging your thighs closer to the edge of the counter. 

His lips started at your ankle, kissing up the inside of your leg until he reached your knee where he paused. 

He looked up at you through his lashes and he had never looked prettier than he did at that moment. 

“More?” He spoke against your skin, his hand wrapping around your calf and his fingertips squeezing the muscle. 

“Please.” You whimpered. 

“Please, who?” His tongue swirled over your kneecap. 

“Please, Doctor.” 

“There’s my good girl.” He rewarded you by moving his lips higher up your inner thigh, nipping a little at your soft flesh and sucking bruises into your skin. 

Your hands found their way to his hair and you dove your fingers into his thick locks as his lips made their ascent of your leg. 

He took the hem of your dress with him, pushing it up your thighs until it was around your waist. He hissed at the sight of your black lace panties and how wet they already were. 

He pushed your dress up further, his hand flush on your bare stomach as he planted kisses over the waistband of your underwear. 

You threw your legs over his shoulders, drawing him further into you. His fingers slid in the sides of your panties and you used his shoulders to leverage you so you could raise yourself enough for him to slide them down. 

“Fuck.” He panted back against your thigh. “You smell just like those goddamn panties you left on my desk.” He sunk his teeth into your thigh where he’d surely leave a mark and you yelped a little. 

Wrapping your legs around his neck, you pulled him closer, urging him into you. 

“Please, Doctor.” You whined, your body shaking in anticipation. 

“What is it, angel?” He glanced up at you. “What do you want from me?”

You gave his hair a sharp tug making him sink his teeth harder into your leg. 

“Teasing me was so five years ago, Spencer. Do you remember the note I left you with those panties?”

“You didn’t want me to forget to eat…” he smirked against your leg. “I should have known you didn’t mean the sandwich.” 

You tugged his hair again, desperate for him. 

He complied by moving his lips higher and higher until they were pressing against your pubic bone. His breath fanned between your legs making you shudder. 

“Goddamn, I am fucking starving.” He smiled against your skin but before you could respond his tongue swiped over your clit. 

A wicked moan wracked your body and your thighs shook around his neck. The second time, his tongue lapped through your folds, collecting your arousal and moaning into you. 

He nuzzled his face into you, settling his movements on your clit and holding your thighs in his large hands. 

Your head fell back to your shoulders and your eyes fluttered closed. You bit down on your knuckles to stop from moaning too loudly, although with the music and the chatter in the bar you were sure no one would hear you. 

Spencer’s tongue was extraordinary and he knew just how to use it to bring you to the brink. And when he dove two fingers inside of you, curling them as they brushed against your bundle of nerves, you fell even harder. 

He could feel you pulsing around his fingers, knowing it wouldn’t take much to push you over the edge. He added a third finger, needing to stretch you as much as possible before he fucked you. 

Your thighs tightened around his neck and he could feel your body starting to convulse. 

“Come for me, angel.” He spoke against your aching cunt and his tone sent you overboard. 

You clenched around his fingers, legs shaking violently and mumbling his name as you came. Your breathy, pitched moans were like music to Spencer’s ears, a song he wanted to listen to on repeat for the rest of his life. 

He continued fingering you and lapping up your orgasm until you couldn’t take anymore and you were pushing his head away from you. 

He sat back on his haunches before pushing himself up to his feet and moving between your thighs. 

He cupped the back of your neck and forced you to look at him. His mouth was slicked with your arousal and you captured him in a kiss, moaning at the way you tasted on his tongue. 

While you kissed him dry of your come, you fumbled with his belt buckle and button until you could get his pants over his hips just enough to free his throbbing cock.

You wrapped your hand around him and started stroking his thick, long length. He was bucking his hips and moaning into your mouth. 

His head was already slick with precome and you used it to lubricate your strokes. Your other hand was working on his shirt buttons. 

He pulled away from your lips, panting and groaning at the feeling of your dainty hand pumping him. He slid your dress straps down your shoulders and pulled the fabric down to your waist. 

Your breasts fell free of your top, subtly pleased you’d forgone a bra, and he hissed loudly, his mouth instantly finding one of your hard buds and sucking and nibbling on it. 

He was already feeling close to his orgasm but there was no way he was not coming inside of you. 

He removed your hand from his length and placed it instead on his chest. 

His shirt now hung open on his shoulders and you ran your fingers over his chest, tweaking his nipples between your fingers. 

You looked him up and down, his messy hair, open shirt and dick hanging out over his slacks really was a sight to behold. But you supposed with your dress around your stomach and legs parted, you didn’t look much more presentable. 

You tugged him closer by his shirt, his dick nestling between your legs. 

He stroked your hair back off your face, giving you a suddenly serious look. 

“Not to sound big headed, angel, but this might hurt.” He smirked slightly. 

“I don’t care.” You pawed at him. “Please, I don’t care if it hurts, I need you, Doctor!” 

He kissed your forehead and then the tip of your nose before standing up straight. He parted your legs further, wrapping them back around his waist. 

He lined himself up with your entrance and held onto your hips as he slowly pushed his head inside of you. 

Your eyes widened, already feeling the slight burn from how he stretched you. He kept his eyes on you for any sign you wanted him to stop as he carefully pushed inside of you inch by inch. 

He could feel the way he was stretching you, your body adjusting to accommodate him. You were so tight and Spencer didn’t think he’d ever felt anything like this in his whole life. 

You were biting furiously on your bottom lip letting out little squeaks every so often. But you took everything he had to give, until he was fully sheathed inside of you. 

Tears pricked the corners of your eyes once he bottomed out. He was without a doubt the biggest cock you’d ever taken and it felt as though he may very well split you in two. 

“You take it so well, angel.” He praised you, kissing away the few tears that had escaped. “Are you ok?”

“Yes.” You nodded although you weren’t entirely sure that was true. “I’m fine, please?” 

He kissed you again for a moment, allowing you to get used to the way he felt before he tried to move. The last thing he wanted was to hurt you or make your first time together uncomfortable. 

It wouldn’t be the first time. Spencer had that issue before when women simply couldn’t handle his size and he’d had to settle on a mediocre blowjob. 

It was both a blessing and a curse. 

But he remembered how stubborn you were and he knew you wouldn’t tell him even if it was too much. But he could also read you so well, so he would be sure to keep an eye on your facial expression for any sign of discomfort. 

“Please!” You whined into his lips. “Fucking hell, I think I’ve been more than patient waiting for this Spencer! Just fuck me already, I’m not made of glass.”

He laughed at your eagerness, holding onto your hips again as he cautiously pulled back until only his head was inside of you.

Your eyes screwed tightly shut and you bit down on your lip as he slowly moved back inside of you. 

He did this again a few times, slowly moving in and out of you until your grip on your own lip lessened and you opened your eyes again. 

“Ok.” You nodded, fiercely determined. “I’m ok.”

This time when he pulled out, he snapped his hips hard, jutting back inside of you with force and slamming into your g-spot. 

You screamed before covering your mouth. 

“Was that too much?” He panicked briefly but when you removed your hand from your mouth you were smiling. 

“Just enough.” Your eyes sparkled. 

He repeated the movements, slowly edging out only to pound back into you. Your moans were gratuitous, and he had to kiss you to keep you quiet even though he wanted nothing more than to hear you scream. 

There would be another time for that when you were somewhere more private. 

He placed his hands either side of you on the counter to steady himself as he thrust inside you over and over again, each time crashing straight against your bundle of nerves. 

Your legs around his waist were trembling and he sloppily explored your mouth whilst fucking you into the countertop. 

With each thrust he stretched you further, your walls calibrating around him to fit him. 

Tears were streaming down your cheeks and he could taste them on your lips, the salt contradicting the sweetness left behind on your tongue from your drink. 

Your grip on him was getting tighter and he knew you wouldn’t be able to hold on much longer given his assault on you but he was close too. 

You were whining and whimpering pathetically into his mouth as you started to shake, and your teeth sank into Spencer’s bottom lip and he almost immediately tasted his own blood. 

He felt you clenching around him and it made his stomach tighten at his impending orgasm. 

“Are you close, angel?” He panted into your lips. 

“Hmm.” You whined as he stroked your tear stains from your cheeks. 

“Me too.” His legs started to shake. “Come with me, my good, good girl.” 

You covered your mouth again but even still he heard your shriek as your second orgasm ripped through you at the same time Spencer gave over to his. 

He emptied himself inside your pulsing cunt and lazily thrust into you through his orgasm. 

His head fell to your neck as he panted heavily and you wrapped your shaking arms around him. 

For several minutes he stayed between your legs while you both came back down to Earth. 

Your heavy pants filled the otherwise silent room and Spencer placed sloppy kisses to your shoulder and neck. 

Eventually he forced himself up right again and carefully edged back out of you causing you to whine at how empty you felt without him. 

Spencer chuckled lethargically and rested his forehead against yours. 

“Are you ok?” He asked you with so much kindness you almost cried again. 

“Yeah, I’m great.” 

“You’re such a good girl.” He kissed your swollen, pouty lips, stroking your hair. 

“I’m curious, Doctor.” You ran your fingers down his chest. 

“About what, angel?” 

“Your theory. Did you come to a conclusion?” 

Spencer couldn’t help but laugh as he kissed you again. 

“I did.” 

“And?” Your eyes pleaded with him for an answer. 

“Angel, I am most definitely in love with you after that.” He confessed, hoping to god he hadn’t completely ruined things. 

You smiled at him, raking your fingernails over his stomach, his softened dick already starting to harden again. 

“That was my conclusion too.” You wrapped your legs around him again. “So does that mean our little game is finally over?” 

“Oh sweetheart,” he chuckled dryly, grinding against you once more. “The game has only just begun.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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@muffin-cup @andiebeaword @measure-in-pain @takeyourleap-of-faith @sexy-dumpster-fire @thebloomingeagle @dirtytissuebox

SR x reader -

It wasn’t often that you used your powers - more so when it came down to a last resort option - and when Dean first discovered that you had magic, it wasn’t intentional. The two of you were on a hunt together, and it was - of course - not going to plan. You were on the brink of consciousness, having no choice but to watch defenselessly as Dean became outnumbered by Vamps. The spell came out of nowhere, nothing more than a primal instinct to protect him, and before anyone knew what was happening, the two of you were left alone with nothing but piles of ash where the monsters once stood. Dean first thought that Rowena had somehow stumbled upon them to save the day once more, though once he realized the spell came from you, he damn near lost his mind. You would have rather he yelled at you, smashed things around, anything compared to what he did. Once he made sure you were okay and had you checked out, he simply acted as if you didn’t exist; you were completely frozen out of his life. He never needed to say anything, you could see it in his eyes every time he glanced at you: How could you be a witch? He hated witches, and you knew that- it’s half the reason you never told him in the first place. He only started coming around with Sam’s convincing- and even then, it took an incredibly long time for him to trust you again. Then, one day, he came to realize that no matter what happened, he could never hate you. So, he came to you with an open mind and a peace offering- the exact mortar and pestle you had once told Sam that you wanted, because it reminded you of your mother’s- and the two of you worked on putting the pieces of your friendship back together. 

“Ass,” Sam retorted, turning and walking over to you with the freshly crushed ingredients. 

“You know,” you started, taking it from his hands. “You can’t really be against this all that much, otherwise you wouldn’t be here helping.”

“I’m only here so you don’t get yourself killed.”

“Oh, come on,” you urged with a chuckle. “You love doing this, and you know it.”

He gave you a sarcastic smile before taking the book from you. “Let’s just get this over with.”

“Fine,” you huffed, snatching the book right back. 

With one final glare at each other, you started the spell. Everything was going well… until it wasn’t. 

You aren’t exactly sure where it went wrong. You don’t know if it was the ingredients, the way you said the spell, or just a mixture of everything, but before you even knew what was happening the bowl before you exploded in a cloud of yellow and sent both you and Sam flying. 

“Oh, god,” you groaned, holding a hand to your head as your ears rang. “What the fuck?” you wondered aloud, feeling strange beyond comprehension. 

“What the hell happened?” Sam croaked out.

“I don’t know,” you admitted quietly. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” he said through a fit of coughs. “You?”

“I don’t know. Something feels wrong,” you declared, sitting up. It was at that exact moment you realized why you felt so different. “Sam?” you asked meekly.

“Yeah?” he questioned, sitting up. “Wait-” 

“I’m-” you began, unable to finish as you stared at your hands; were they even your hands? 

“You’re….” Sam tried, staring at you then down at his body; your body? 

“You’re me!” you exclaimed, gesturing between the two of you. 

“You’re me!” he echoed, scrambling to stand.

You followed suit, using the wall behind you to help you stand. “God, how do you live like this?”

“Me? What about you? I won’t even be able to reach the upper cabinets in the kitchen!” he countered, flailing his arms around. 

“At least you’ll be able to fit on your bed! My feet are gonna dangle!” you huffed, folding your arms over yourself. 

“You need to fix this,” Sam declared, stepping towards you. You couldn’t help but take a few steps away- this was way too weird. You’ve seen shifters take your image before, but this was actually you. Only it wasn’t you. You felt like your head was about to explode. 

“Gee, you think, Sam?” you snapped, narrowing your eyes at him. “I thought we’d just stay like this forever!” 

He opened his mouth to reply, but was interrupted by the door swinging open. You both flinched, turning to see Dean peering into the room. 

“What the fuck’s with all the yelling?” he asked, glancing around. “The hell is going on?” 

“I- uh-” you tried to answer, but nothing came to mind. 

“Just, uh…. experimenting,” Sam supplied, and you sent him a glare. 

“Experimenting?” Dean repeated, raising his eyebrows at you- or rather, at whom he thought was you. 

“Yeah,” Sam said with a shrug, not sure what else to say. The two of you shared a look, silently agreeing not to breathe a word of what was really going on. 

Dean’s face softened, and he sighed. “Don’t tell me you’re actually doing that spell. Sweetheart, we can get by without it.” 

“We don’t-” you started to argue, before Sam interrupted you with a clearing of his throat. 

Right. Dean wasn’t exactly talking to you right now. 

“Thought it was a good opportunity to practice,” Sam replied, sounding more like he was asking than telling. 

“Right,” Dean said, eyeing your body wearily. 

Oh, god. He was gonna pick up on something being wrong, it was only a matter of time. 

“You can leave any time now,” you spoke up, more irritated than you meant to sound, but you were severely on edge.

Dean turned to you with a look of surprise. “‘Scuse me?”

“I just- you know, we’re in the middle of something,” you continued, doing your best to stand your ground. 

“Yeah, I can see that,” he quipped, taking a step towards you. “What the hell were you thinking? Why are you letting her mess around with this stuff? Better yet, why are you helping her mess around with this stuff?” 

“It’s just a simple spell,” you argued, your head swirling with the fact that you were looking down on him, instead of being dwarfed by his frame like you normally would be. 

“A simple spell?” he repeated, fury and irritation dancing in his eyes. “Do you even hear yourself right now?”  

“Last I checked we could make our own decisions, Dean!” you exclaimed, glaring at him. 

“Sure,” he placated with a nod. “So long as they’re not stupid ass decisions!” 

“Can we go ten minutes in this place without a fight happening?” Sam pitched in, already exasperated with the situation. 

“Yeah, sure,” Dean grumbled, glaring at you. “Food’s ready.”

“We’ll be there in a few minutes,” Sam announced, earning a glare from you in return. 

“Don’t you think we should finish-” you tried to ask, but were quickly cut off by Dean. 

“No, you guys are done in here,” he declared, shaking his head. “Let’s go.”

“Dean-” you tried once more, only to be cut off again. 

“Sam,” Dean warned. “I’m not kidding. Whatever you two were doing, it’s done.”

“Fine. We’ll be out in a few minutes,” you relented, resisting the urge to roll your eyes. “We need to clean up!” you added upon seeing the look on Dean’s face. 

“Five minutes,” Dean agreed pointedly. “Or I swear, I’ll drag both your asses out of this room.” 

“Yeah, five minutes, got it,” you huffed, watching him as he hesitantly left the room. 

You waited a few moments before hastily making your way over and all but slamming the door, turning to look at Sam with wide eyes. 

“We are so screwed,” he declared, matching your expression. 

“What are we supposed to do? He’s gonna figure out something’s wrong!” you exclaimed, slumping against the door behind you. 

“We just…. I don’t know, pretend?” Sam suggested with a shrug. 

“Pretend?” you repeated incredulously. “Sam, this is insane! We can’t just pretend to be each other!” 

“It’s not like I meant permanently!” he defended, holding out his hands in surrender. “But until we can find a way to fix this, we have to at least play the part in front of Dean.” 

“Fine,” you agreed with a huff. “But I am not going on your crack of dawn jogs.” 

“Oh, come on-” he started to argue, though quickly stopped when met with your glare. “Yeah, okay, that- that’s fine.” 

“Great. Now let’s go before Dean gets even more pissy,” you declared, opening the door with a flourish. 

With a quick nod, he followed you down the hall, the two of you lowly bickering about the situation all the way to the kitchen. 

“I feel like a baby giraffe with this fucking body.”

“You look like a baby giraffe, do you not know how to walk?” 

“Yeah, I know how to walk! I know how to walk with normal legs!”

“Normal? You’re short enough to get in anywhere with a child’s pass!” 

“Keep up with the attitude, Sam. Maybe I’ll go have a really nice salon visit and cut all this hair!” 

“Fine, then maybe I’ll call up that guy from your ‘worst date ever’ and ask to catch up!”

“Fine by me. You’ll be the one he’ll be groping and hitting on the whole time.” 

“Yeah- well-... look, just don’t cut my hair!” 

“What are you two all hush hush about?” Dean asked curiously, eyeing you both as you entered the kitchen. 

“Nothing,” you both quickly replied, taking a seat at the table. 

Dean stared at you both for a moment before nodding curtly. “If you say so.” 

Choosing not to reply, you both quietly watched as he joined the table, taking his regular seat next to you. Which, of course, meant he was currently next to Sam, and you watched in amusement as he shifted nervously while Dean got too close for his comfort. 

Attempting to stifle a laugh, you took a bite of the burger that was placed in front of you, only to grimace in response. “What is this?” you asked through a mouthful, meeting Dean’s confused gaze. 

“It’s… the same veggie burger you force me to make you every time I make burgers?” he replied, looking at you as though you lost your head. 

Fucking Sam, you thought bitterly. “Oh, right. Right, it just- it tastes different, I don’t know,” you stammered, sparing a quick glance across at Sam as you hurriedly took another bite. 

“You two are weirder than usual tonight,” Dean muttered to himself before eating his own food. 

The three of you ate in stifling silence, you and Sam both internally trying to find a way out of this mess, before Dean spoke up again and pulled you from your revere. 

“[Y/N], do you want just the usual from the store? I was gonna make a run before our movie night,” he said, turning to look beside him with a soft grin. 

You felt your stomach drop as Sam cleared his throat, looking between you and Dean for a moment. “Movie night?” 

“Yeah,” Dean said, his eyebrows furrowing in even more confusion. “Like we have every Friday?” 

“Oh, right!” Sam exclaimed, chuckling nervously. “I didn’t realize what day it is, I, uh- I’m actually not… feeling too hot, do you mind if we skip it tonight?” 

“You wanna skip it?” Dean asked quietly, making your heart shatter as you watched the hurt and disappointment flash across his face.

After the two of you made up from your falling out, you started a tradition of spending extra quality time together at least once a week. This resulted in having a movie night every Friday, no matter what. Whether that meant catching a random movie on a motel tv or settling into the Dean Cave, you both always found a way to make it. Knowing you had no choice but to skip out this time almost made you want to tell him what happened right then and there; but you didn’t. 

“Yeah, I just… I think it’s best if I just head to bed, you know? I’d hate for it to get worse,” Sam said sheepishly, playing with the glass in front of him as he met Dean’s gaze halfheartedly. 

You were glad that if you had to mistakenly swap bodies with someone, it was Sam. Given that he became your best friend from just about the moment you met, he had your behaviour down pat; you just hoped you could do the same and make this all a little easier. 

“Well what do you mean, what’s wrong?” Dean asked worriedly.

“I’m just feeling run down is all,” Sam said, shrugging lightly as he stood up, taking his dishes to the sink. “Maybe we can watch something tomorrow,” he added, turning back to Dean with a shy smile. 

“Yeah. Yeah, sure,” Dean agreed softly, averting his gaze to the beer in his hands. “Don’t worry about it, just get some rest.” 

“Sure. Uh, goodnight, guys,” Sam replied awkwardly, shooting you a pointed look before leaving. 

You stayed in uncomfortable silence for a moment, studying Dean as he pouted at his bottle. 

“You alright?” you asked tentatively. 

“Yeah, just… first time she’s bailed on me,” he replied indifferently, downing the rest of his beer before heading to get another one. 

“She didn’t bail on you,” you argued firmly. “It’s not like she chose to go bar hopping or something, she’s sick.” 

“Didn’t seem so sick when she was huddled up with you,” Dean said curtly, leaning against the counter as he sent you a cold stare. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” you asked confusedly, shifting in your seat to look at him better. 

He remained silent, lips pursed as he studied you for what felt like hours, before he finally shrugged. “Doesn’t mean anything.” 

“Then why say it?” you asked in irritation. 

He remained silent once more, simply raising the beer bottle to his lips and taking a long sip before standing upright. “Night, Sammy.” 

“Dean-” you tried to press, but he only ignored you as he continued across the floor, leaving the kitchen without saying another word. 

You sighed in exasperation, quickly cleaning everything up before heading to your room, catching almost no sleep as you dove deep into researching for a reversal to your mistake.

“You need to shave,” Sam said, staring at you from across the table. 

“What?” you asked, caught off guard by the declaration. 

“Your beard - my beard. You need to shave it,” he clarified. “It’s been over a week.”

“And?” you asked, arching an eyebrow at him. “I doubt you’re taking care of all my housekeeping.” 

“That’s because I’m doing everything possible to not look at you! Like you asked!” he hissed in return. 

You rolled your eyes in response, returning your attention to the book in front of you. “I have more important things on my mind than shaving your stupid facial hair - which looks fine, by the way.” 

Sam huffed, shifting in his seat. “Yeah, well you can at least take five minutes for me!”

“I don’t even know how to shave a beard, Sam!” you argued, closing the book in exasperation. 

“Then just let me shave it for you!” he begged, leaning over the table. “I’m serious, [Y/N], you can’t just leave me all unkempt.” 

You met his gaze and sighed softly. “Damn, you can even pull off the puppy dog eyes with my face. That’s a talent, Sammy.” 

He couldn’t help but laugh, for what felt like the first time since this whole thing happened. “You can do it better than I can,” he chuckled. “At least when it comes to Dean,” he added with a smirk. 

“What does that mean?” you asked curiously. 

“Nothing,” he said, shrugging dismissively. “C’mon, let’s get you- me- whatever, all taken care of before Dean gets back with dinner.” 

“Fine,” you begrudgingly agreed, getting up to follow him.

Before you knew it, you were standing in front of him as he sat on the bathroom counter, because: “How else are we supposed to do this? These arms aren’t gonna reach that face comfortably without some help.”

You fell into a comfortable silence as he did what he needed to do, the only words spoken being his occasional nagging for you to quit moving, as you were both lost in your own thoughts about the last few days.

“I’m really sorry, Sammy,” you said suddenly. You weren’t sure whether your voice was so quiet due to the shame you felt, or for the fear of breaking the silence that surrounded you. 

“It’s not your fault,” he said simply, reflexively. 

You sighed, gently shaking your head; which earned another scolding glare from him as he steadied you. “It’s entirely my fault. I fucked up big time, and we both know it.” 

“Look, it was an accident,” he urged, wiping away the remnants of the shave one last time. “Assigning blame isn’t going to change anything.” 

“Why aren’t you mad at me? You should be furious! I practically ruined your life,” you pressed on frantically. 

“Okay, that’s being dramatic,” he chided. “Yeah, this isn't an ideal situation. Though weirdly, it’s also not the weirdest situation I’ve been in. And you know what? It’s not even the first time I’ve been in this situation! Remember when that kid switched bodies with me? Trust me, you’re a much better person to be switched with.” 

“Yeah, I remember,” you said, chuckling softly. “Still, I’m really sorry.” 

“I know you are,” he said softly. “I also know you’ll find a way to fix this.” 

“You really believe that?” you asked hesitantly. 

“Yeah,” he said with a nod. “‘Cause it’s you, and I’ll always have faith in you. You didn’t mean for this to happen, [Y/N]. It’s okay.” 

“No, it-” you started to argue, but he cut you off. 

“Stop,” he urged softly. “I’m not mad at you, okay? Maybe I was at first, but I’m not anymore.” 

“Promise?” you asked meekly. 

“I promise,” he said firmly.

“Okay,” you relented, not fully believing him but not wanting to push the topic any further. 

“Okay,” he repeated, gently wiping away one of your stray tears. 

“Maybe we should just tell Dean,” you suggested hesitantly. 

“Tell me what?” Dean’s voice suddenly cut through the room.

The two of you jumped, and you moved away from the counter as calmly as you could, knowing how the predicament you were in must look to him.

You turned to the doorway and came face to face with Dean staring intently at the two of you, his mind working into an overdrive as he tried to make sense of the scene he just walked in on. 

“Dean, I- when did you get back?” you asked nervously. 

“Tell me what?” he asked again, ignoring your question. 

You and Sam were both at a loss. You spent so much time trying to figure this whole thing out, yet neither of you thought to come up with some kind of story should you be cornered like this. 

“[Y/N]?” Dean asked softly, looking over to where he thought you sat on the counter. 

The look of hurt and confusion that flashed over his face and the waver in his voice all but sent a fresh wave of tears washing over you. 

Dean waited impatiently a few moments before shaking his head with a scoff. “Whatever, food’s in the kitchen.”

Before anyone could say anything else, he turned on his heel and left, leaving you and Sam stunned in his wake. 

The dynamic between the three of you began shifting even more ever since that night, and you could feel Dean slipping further and further away from you with each passing day. 

You noticed it every time Dean would catch you and Sam huddled up and whispering low; when he would stand and stare before leaving with a quiet grumble of forgetting why he was there. 

You noticed it when he started spending more time in his room or tinkering with Baby in the garage; finding any and every excuse possible to spend time outside of the bunker and away from you and Sam. 

You and Sam tried to ignore it, promised yourselves that you’d explain everything once you managed to set things right - or, if you discovered you were over your heads and couldn’t fix everything. 

The thing you hated most about this whole thing was that it was becoming easier and easier to lie to Dean; and the worst part about that was not knowing whether you and Sam really became more convincing, or if Dean just didn’t care enough to question you anymore. 

Which is exactly why you found yourself sitting in the war room, waiting for Dean to make his way through to the kitchen, in order to try and talk things out. 

You weren’t expecting him to appear with one duffle bag over his shoulder and another by his side - and he wasn’t expecting to see you, either. 

“Didn’t think you’d be up,” he declared after a moment of hesitation, continuing on his path to the stairs. 

“Where the hell are you going?” you asked hotly, standing from your seat. 

Dean sighed, throwing his head back in frustration as he considered his response. “Donna’s cabin.” 

“What? Why?” you asked, eyebrows drawing together with confusion. 

“I can’t do it anymore,” he said tiredly. “I just can’t, okay?” 

“Do what?” you asked wearily, taking a tentative step towards him. “What are you talking about, Dean?” you pressed, feeling your chest tighten with the rising nerves and fear.

“Don’t do that,” he demanded, shaking his head. “Don’t play coy. You think I don’t know what’s been going on around here?” 

“What-... what’s been going on?” you asked curiously. “The hell are you talking about?”

You weren’t sure if or when he figured out what happened, and you also weren’t sure why it would make him feel the need to leave. 

“I’m talking about you and [Y/N]!” he shouted, throwing his bags down and stepping towards you. 

“Me and [Y/N]?” you wondered, taking a nervous step backwards. 

“I’m not an idiot, okay?” he spat, his jaw ticking. “You think I haven’t noticed? Think I couldn’t figure it out?” 

“Okay, look,” you began, holding out your hands defensively. “I can explain.” 

Dean let out a humourless laugh, running a hand over his mouth before glaring at you once more. “Explain,” he echoed with a chuckle of disbelief. “Don’t waste your breath.”

“Why are you so pissed off about this?” you asked in bewilderment. “I mean, I know we kept it from you, but we figure it’d be easier for you.” 

“Easier for me?” he repeated, voice raising. “What about this entire situation makes you think it’d be easy for me?”

“Well because it-... I mean it doesn’t really affect you, Dean,” you replied, unsure of your own words. 

“It doesn’t affect me?” he repeated with perplexion. “Of course it affects me! You know how I feel about her!” he exclaimed, taking yet another step forward. 

“What?” you questioned, thrown off by his response. 

“Don’t “what” me,” he snapped. “I want to be happy for you, Sammy. I really do, but I just-... I don’t think I ever can be.” 

“Okay, I-... I am so lost,” you admitted.

“You stole my girl, Sam!” Dean all but screamed. “You know that I love her. You know I was gonna tell her, and you know how much I want to spend whatever’s left of my god forsaken life with her! You swore you didn’t feel that way about her. You- I mean how to hell could you do this to me, Sammy? I can’t even stand to look at you anymore.” 

You remained silent, staring at him in shock and confusion for what felt like hours. Your mouth opened and closed a few times as you tried to formulate a response, but all that came out was a broken whisper of his name. 

“Don’t sweat it, Sammy. Not like I can blame you for falling for her, right? I mean hey, I sure did,” he sassed, smiling sarcastically. “Not surprised she chose you, either. She deserves someone better than me. But I’m not sticking around anymore to see it first hand.” 

You watched in stunned silence as he turned to gather his bags, trying and failing to think of anything to say. What the hell were you supposed to do? The man of your dreams just admitted he felt the exact same way, and you were trapped in his brother's body. Even if you told him the truth right now, would he even believe you? 

“Do me one favour, though,” Dean said from the foot of the stairs, effectively pulling you from your thoughts. “Don’t tell [Y/N]. Don’t tell her anything. I’ll think of something to tell her during the drive and call her tomorrow.” 

“Dean-” you finally began to protest, only to go unheard by him as he started up the steps. 

“Later, Sammy,” he announced with finality, disappearing out of the bunker. 

“You have got to be kidding me. I mean honestly woman, how stupid can you be?” Rowena’s voice rang through the war room as she made her arrival known to you and Sam.

“Did you not get in enough insults over the phone?” you asked in exasperation, not bothering to move from your spot in the library as you watched her approach.  

“I don’t think there are enough insults for this situation, dear,” she said sweetly, smiling innocently. 

“Either be helpful or leave, Rowena,” you replied solemnly. 

It had been three days since Dean left, and over two weeks since the whole debacle happened. You had never been more determined to find a solution, nor had you ever felt more defeated. 

“Alright, fine. No need to be cranky,” Rowena tsked, taking a seat across from you. “Go on, then. Walk me through everything.” 

“Fine,” you sighed, steadying yourself before recounting the situation. 

“Let me get this straight,” Rowena declared, holding a hand up. “You actually let him leave? After what he said?” 

“Is that seriously your only take away from this?” you asked angrily, glaring at her. 

“It’s not my only take away, but it’s certainly a big one,” she said calmly, accompanied by a half shrug. “This is the spell you used?” she asked, looking over the book you gave her during your explanation. 

“Yeah, that’s the one,” you confirmed sheepishly. 

“Well, don’t you worry. We’ll have you and Samuel right as rain in no time, dear,” she comforted, eyes never leaving the pages in front of her.

It took another four days, but ‘No time’ finally came. You were practically itching to get this all over and done with as the three of you finished setting everything up. You didn’t even care about being in your own skin again, all you cared about at this point was getting Dean back in your life. He did everything possible to avoid talking to you or Sam each time either of you tried contacting him, and you were missing him more and more with each passing hour.

“That should do it,” Rowena declared, snapping you back to attention. “You know what you need to do?” 

“Yes,” you said quickly, urging her out of the room; the last thing you needed was for her to be around and have the spell go wrong again, resulting in all three of you being scrambled around. 

“Don’t rush it!” she cautioned. “I know you want him back, but you need to take this slowly. You can’t afford another screw up!” 

Her statement made you pause, and you knew she was right. “Go slow, I got it,” you confirmed, shutting her out of the room. 

“Ready?” Sam asked, looking at you eagerly; albeit nervous beyond belief. 

“More than ever,” you declared, taking your place at the altar. 

You began the spell, doing everything slowly and precisely so there was no room for error. Once you had finished, however, nothing had happened. You were just about ready to scream with all the emotions boiling inside of you when suddenly the bowl before you exploded in a cloud of yellow, sending both you and Sam flying. 

“Oh, god,” you groaned, holding a hand to your head as your ears rang. “This again?” you wondered aloud.

“Did it even work?” Sam croaked out.

“I don’t know,” you admitted quietly. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” he said through a fit of coughs. “You?”

“I think so,” you declared, sitting up. It was at that exact moment you realized what happened. “Sam?” you asked breathlessly. 

“Yeah?” he questioned, sitting up himself. “Wait-” 

“I’m-” you began, unable to finish as you stared at your hands; your own hands.

“You’re….” Sam tried, staring at you then down at his body; his very own body.

“You’re you!” you exclaimed in glee, pointing at him.

“You’re you!” he echoed, scrambling to stand.

You followed suit, taking a moment to steady yourself on your own feet. “I need to go,” you announced, not giving him time to reply before you ran out of the room. 

“You’re welcome!” Rowena called after you, watching you run by. 

“Thank you!” you called back absently, hurrying out to your car. 

The drive took longer than ever before; at least, it felt like it did. You spent the whole time trying to think of what to say, of how to explain, but nothing seemed right. Nothing seemed like enough. All you could hope for was that everything would magically come to you once you stood before him. 

If he ever decided to open the goddamn door. 

“Dammit, Dean! Open the fucking door before I break it down!” you yelled, banging your hand against the wood for the upteenth time. 

You opened your mouth to yell once more, but before you could even make a sound a voice boomed out from behind you. “What are you doing here?” 

You turned with a start, coming face to face with Dean as he stood at the bottom of the steps. “I came to talk to you,” you said simply, taking a few steps forward. 

He quickly averted his gaze, focusing on wiping the grease from his hands with the rag he held. “Coulda just called,” he countered gruffly. 

“Why?” you asked, laughing dryly. “You’d just ignore my calls.” 

He stilled his ministrations for a moment before shrugging, glancing back up at you. “Maybe ‘cause we got nothing to talk about.” 

“Dean-” you tried to argue, though you stopped short when he rolled his eyes and turned away from you. 

“Look, I know all about you and Sam, okay?” he huffed, storming across the drive and to where Baby was parked, hood still open for Dean to continue working on her.  

“Oh, for god’s sake, Dean. There is no me and Sam!” you exclaimed with a groan, quickly following behind him. 

“Whatever you say, sweetheart,” he placated, picking up his previously abandoned ratchet. 

“Just listen to me,” you pleaded, watching his face scrunch with a mix of frustration and concentration as he dove back into his work. 

“You don’t need to explain,” he said distractedly. “I get it. He’s good for you. I just-... you didn’t need to hide it, [Y/N/N]. I thought we were closer than that.” 

“We are! That’s not what we were hiding, just let me explain!” you said desperately, stepping closer to him. 

“You can quit the act, okay?” he snapped, stopping what he was doing as he stood up, finally turning to look at you. “I have eyes, I saw what-” 

“Sam and I fucking switched bodies!” you yelled over him, effectively rendering him speechless. “Alright? When you walked in on us doing that spell the other week… it went wrong, Dean. Sam and I, we just-... we switched!”

“You… switched bodies?” he asked slowly, scepticism starting to present itself on his face as he processed what you said.

“Yes,” you confirmed softly. ”I was Sam, Sam was me.”

He nodded, shifting uncomfortably as he anxiously tapped his fingers on Baby’s exterior. “Well, isn’t that just a great story,” he muttered, leaning under the hood once more. 

“It’s not a story,” you argued desperately. “It’s what happened.” 

“Then why not tell me?” he challenged, not missing a beat. 

“Because,” you began lamely. “You always have so much on your plate, Dean. We didn’t want to shove this stupid thing on you and add to your worries.” 

“So you lied to me for my own good?” he asked harshly, gaze not straying from his hands as he worked. 

“We didn’t lie, we just-”

“Avoided the truth,” he finished for you. “Same thing, if you ask me.”

“We thought it was for the best,” you admitted quietly. 

“Oh, yeah,” he agreed sarcastically, throwing his tools down. “Sneaking around, icing me out. Definitely for my best interest, huh?” 

“Dean, please,” you pleaded. “I didn’t come here to fight with you.” 

“Then why did you come, [Y/N]?” he shouted, shutting Baby’s hood. “What did you think was gonna happen here?” 

“Well, I thought-... I just-... I wanted to clear the air,” you stammered. “I wanted to explain.” 

“Well, you explained,” he muttered, busying himself with tidying his mess. 

You watched him silently for a few moments, trying to think of your next move. You decided to ask the question that’s been on your mind since he left: “Were you really planning on actually telling me one day?” 

He let out an irritated sigh, picking up his belongings and moving around to the trunk. “What are you talking about?” 

“Were you really gonna tell me?” you repeated, quickly taking a few steps to meet him at the trunk.  

“Tell you what?” he huffed, irritation oozing off of him as he slammed the toolbox down. 

“How you feel!” you blurted out, taking yet another step towards him. 

“The hell are you talking about?” he questioned, feigning cluelessness. Though the way his body stiffened as he idly messed with the stuff in the trunk betrayed him; he knew what you meant.  

“You know exactly what I’m talking about,” you replied softly. “Were you?” 

“I don’t know!” he huffed, shutting the trunk. “Maybe,” he added, walking away from you once more. 

“You said-” 

“I know what I said!” he interrupted, clearly irritated. “Can we not relive it? I don’t want to talk about this.” 

“Well I do!” you argued, exasperated. “Why the fuck else do you think I’m here, Dean?”

“To clear the air,” he sneered, repeating your earlier words as he made his way back to the cabin. 

“To tell you I love you!” you shouted after him, stopping him in his tracks. “I didn’t choose Sam. How can I choose him when I’ve loved you for years? How can I choose him when my entire world stopped spinning the day you shut me out of your life all those years ago? How can I choose him when I didn’t feel like I could breathe until you finally spoke to me again? How can I choose him, when having to watch you walk away the other day was the most terrifying thing I had to do, because I didn’t know if I’d ever get you back this time? You can put us in any timeline, in any universe, or in any realm, and I will always choose you. I love you.”

You were met with silence for entirely too long, and you watched the unsteady rise and fall of his shoulders as he kept his back to you, standing tense as ever with his head down low. 

“Will you just look at me, please?” you pleaded shakily.

As soon as the words left your mouth he spun on his heel and marched towards you, closing the distance between you two in seconds. He grabbed your face in his hands, letting a moment of hesitation pass by before crashing his lips against yours. It was harsh yet delicate, slow but needy. It was gentle and all consuming. His hands strayed from your face, one sweeping to the back of your head to hold you steady while the other slipped to your waist and pulled you close. Your hands found themselves gliding up his arms, resting on the base of his neck for a moment before settling on his cheeks. 

When the two of you finally pulled away to catch your breath, it seemed like neither of you wanted to go too far; foreheads pressed together and noses brushing as you both giggled quietly, shy smiles on your swollen lips. 

You stood like that for a few minutes, basking in each other's presence in ways you never could before, until your gentle whisper cut through the silence: “Please come home, Dean.” 

“My sweet girl,” he said quietly, planting a delicate kiss to your forehead before completely wrapping you up in his arms, holding you closer than ever. “I am home.”

tagging: @winharry

He couldn't focus, could barely understand a word the witnesses were saying, it was all going in one ear and out the other. His eyes were just glued on you, on your body, on those stupid perfectly fitting jeans you wore. He felt like a hormonal teenager again, getting all worked up over a dumb pair of tight jeans on a woman. It didn't help that Sam has already been nursing a small crush on you that he’s had sense him and his brother met you. 

He had to bail on you and dean in the middle of the interviews, giving the both of you some excuse about not feeling the best and that maybe he needed some extra rest. Though in truth his pants were just getting tighter by the minute and his head getting foggier. He somehow managed to walk himself back to the motel, the short walk doing not a damn thing to clear his head. You in those fucking jeans, those jeans that hug your thighs and your wasit just right, those stupidly tight jeans that made your ass look so fucking bitable it was making him lose his mind. 

Even though muffled by his t-shirt pulled up and tucked between his teeth all that filled the quiet dingy motel room were Sams whines they were so loud. He was a mess the second he unbuckled his belt and shoved his pants and boxers down his thighs. His large hand furiously stroking up and down his aching cock, pulling strangled whimpers and cries from his lips. His precum leaking out from his tip acting as lube for his hand to glide along his shaft faster, squeezing it hard as he goes. 

He was already so close, it only added to his feeling of being pathetic, he really was a horny teenager now, he couldn't even last that long with his fist around his cock and his head filled with thoughts of you. You on top of him riding him as he whines, you under him your limbs an entangled mess as you pant and moan into his mouth. Him with his head buried between your thighs, you on your knees for him with your mouth stuffed full of his cock, any and all different kinds of images of you all over him. “Need you s’bad, s‘fuckin’ bad holy shit….” He hissed through his teeth in a hushed tone as his head fell back in pleasure, cries of your name and whines about how good you looked fall from his mouth like a waterfall the closer he gets to the edge.

“Hey Sam? Honey? you doing okay?” Your voice shattered the daydream going on in his head that was just about to make him cum. In shock and embarrassment his hand stills, inadvertently edging himself. The nickname only makes his cock twitch more as a short whine comes out of his mouth in response. He was caught and it should be embarrassing, humiliating even, you caught him jerking off in the middle of the day. He should be feeling anything else but what he was right now, It shouldn’t excite him that you caught him. But he was too far gone into a desperate type of head space to care at the moment. 

“Oh shit!, i'm sorry i didn't mean to barge in i thought you’d be napping” you babble out, covering your face as heat spreads through your body as you turn around and move like you're about to leave. As you turn sam gets an even better almost 360º view of your body, how the jeans cling to your thighs, the waistband snug around your waist, the denim looks practically painted on your ass, they were so tight.

“Need it s’bad, please i need you s’bad yoou dont have to leave” he whines out, you had already caught him so any composure or decorum he had has been thrown out the window alongside reason. He could be completely ruining your friendship at this moment, you could be disgusted with him and reject him but he was taking that risk cause he was desperate. 

Your body as if moving on its own accord, revealing your own hidden desires turns back around to face Sam, slowly taking your hands away from your face. Your breath hitches in your throat as your eyes scan over his body, his shirt tugged up and stuffed in his mouth exposing his chest, a small trail of hair leading down to where his hand is still wrapped tightly around his cock, a pleading look in his glazed over eyes. Slowly you make your way over to him spread out on the bed, your steps careful as if you were gonna spook him by moving too fast. “What- Uh- what do you need honey?” You question, still a bit confused and extremely nervous. You’d do anything to help Sam, and getting to see him like this all pathetic and desperate was a bonus that was making slick settle in your core and your thighs clench together. 

“I need you, want you s’bad” he whines out dropping his shirt from his mouth as he grabs ahold of your hand when you get close enough. Placing your hand on his stiff throbbing cock with his own, you let out a small gasp at the feeling of his warm cock under your touch. “This is what you do to me, you and ya’ fucking stupid tight jeans” he hissed out, letting go of your hand and taking note of the fact you dont move it off his cock he slaps your ass hard with his big hand resting and gropping at it after it comes down. 

“These damn jeans that make your ass look so good angel, so good that I couldn't focus, baby. Wanna fuck you s’bad, wanna fuck this ass” he was rambling now looking up at you with his signature puppy eyed look that made you melt. He was so hard it was getting painful, especially since he stopped himself right when he was gonna cum.

He's already thrown caution to the wind by this point, there was no going back.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

You gave in. 

Willing to do whatever it took to make Sam feel better as well as the fact that all his begging had made you about just as desperate for him. He had you on his lap now, your back pressed against his bare chest. He was quick to strip you of all your clothes, eyes glued to the way he had to practically peel your jeans off your body. Your thighs were spread and laid over his legs that he had bent up, his feet planted flat on the bed. 

Your head was spinning from the feeling of his rough hands exploring every inch of your body. Palming at your tits and his thumb flicking your nipples, squeezing your waist when you squirm in his grasp and grind your ass against him. His lips were mouthing and kissing along your neck, tongue poking out to lick up the side and even behind your ear, sucking patches of small hickies onto the unmarked skin. Your body relaxed more and more in his arms as Sam said; “Need you real relaxed for this angel okay? As bad as i want this i don't wanna hurt ya’” you were certainly relaxed once his thumb started rubbing circles over your bundle of nerves, sighing in a mixture of pleasure and relief. You whine softly as your pussy aches, begging for release already as your folds are dripping in slick, a trail of it sliding down your cunt to your ass even. 

Lifting his hips his tip nudges at the tight ring of muscle of your ass, his precum that hasn't stopped leaking as well as his spit that coated his cock acted as your only form of lube as he bullies his thick cock inside. With a broken gasp in both pain and pleasure at the new sensation you dig your nails into the flesh of his forearm that was wrapped around your stomach holding you against him. “Sam~ Honey- Fuck!” You blabber out in a string of jumbled together moans, losing track of where you were gonna go with your sentence once his cock pushes all the way inside, your hole sucking his cock inside. 

“Atta’ girl, s’good f’me angel. God your ass is so fuckin’ tight” he cries out, he was already still on edge from just his fist but this feeling was gonna send him flying over it faster than he wanted. The pleasure of his cock filing your ass as well as his thumb which hasn't stopped playing with your clit has your pussy clenching around nothing. 

“Baby, m’not gonna last long, it's too much” you moan out as his hips buck up and thrust into you, settling at a fast and relentless pace not giving you any more time to get adjusted. “It’s okay baby, it’s okay, j’ cum, just cum for me angel” he nods his head frantically, moans and desperate cries fill the room and you don't know what sounds are coming from who as you clench down on him. 

Your body tensing up and your eyes screwing shut as your climax washes over you, a loud wanton moan falling out of your mouth. Worry about the other residents hearing anything long since past, Sam even felt a small ego boost knowing they were hearing you scream out his name. His hips not stopping their hard thrusting, Sam too lost in pleasure with his head buried in your neck as his cock pounds your ass making you see stars as you cum. 

“Feel so good angel, holy shit squeezin’ me even tighter as you cum shit~” he groans out, his deep voice sending a shiver down your spine as his breath fans across your ear. Your cum leaks out of your pussy, sliding down to Sams cock giving it even more slick for him to fuck up into you harder and faster, chasing his own orgasm. 

“Gonna cum angel, but dont think im done with ya’ when i do, need to fuck that pretty pussy too. Been dreamin’ about that sense we met, need to make you all mine” he cries out as he turns your face towards his and crashes his lips against yours, kissing you like a man starved. His moans are muffled into the kiss as well as more whines of your name as he cums hard.