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I’ve never really felt old in my life. Even now, at the young age of 63, I feel great. I can still pull an all-nighter in Vegas if that means anything.  I can hang with the best of them. And yet, somehow, tonight, something struck me.  As I was standing here in the kitchen contemplating the day of the year and realizing tomorrow is Laura’s birthday. I needed to do some quick math. Thirty-nine!!!…

As I sit here, grappling with the recent loss of two uncles and the hospitalization of another relative, the ephemeral nature of life has never felt more palpable. The sands of time seem to be slipping through my fingers with alarming speed, and I’m left wondering what’s next. The loss of loved ones can have a profound impact on our perception of time. It jolts me out of complacency and forces…

A lifetime in 5 minutes …

Every year I celebrate Laura’s life on the day of her passing. September 13, 1999.  I always recall different pieces from those days that seem like so long ago but really feel like moments ago. Today for some reason, I am reliving her last hours and minutes in my mind.  It’s strange how I can see things in their minutest details.   We had been up all night going from her bedside to the kitchen…

I am sad today. The news of Queen Elizabeth’s passing was sad, and to see the hate comments online was hurtful to me. The lack of respect for another human being is not something I can tolerate. It makes me not want to be a part of this world. Have we digressed to this level of human-ship? What happened to our dignity as a person? As an individual? Have we become this uber-entitled species that…

Random thoughts or so I thought

I haven’t done much writing in my journal or here in my blog for some time now. I think about it often but somehow my day starts and before I know it, the day passes, and soon a month and then two. I find myself reflecting on my life this morning and looking at the people that have come and gone over the years. There are really only a few that I would consider true friends that stay and stand the…

2021 has been a particularly challenging year.  Somehow, I feel I did not get the messages from my past.  Live life! Do not take people for granted, as they will not always be there. I was in Italy earlier this year because my mother was not well.  When I left, I assumed she would be there like she has always been there for the many years I have been visiting.  But she isn’t. Five days after I…

The pain is unbearable at times. I feel like my chest is going to cave in. I miss her. I see her in my mind and want to have her next to me and continue our conversations like we did so many times over my lifetime.  I see her face. I regret telling her she rarely smiled.  She did smile.  And she would radiate with joy and it was contagious.  Making her laugh was the distraction she needed to not…

I haven’t flown since late 2019.  With all the restriction in coming to Italy, I like most of my friends that make the annual trip canceled any travel plans to Italy in 2020.  Having to make an emergency trip was not on my radar but here I am after an exhaustive 30+ hour journey back home. You can read about empty airports and lounges and distancing and mandatory masks and negative covid tests,…

You are (not) alone

Almost a year ago I saw videos and read stories of families being torn apart due to illnesses and deaths from COVID-19. The stories struck me at my core. In our online magazine, I posted images from artist Juan Lucena, on pages 10 & 11. In them he depicts children saying goodby to their grandparents behind plexiglass. I could only imagine what it could be like, the grief the grandparents must…

It’s a new day

Reprinted with permission from the Italian Association Online Publication 6th Edition 2020 has come and gone. The year that seemed to not want to end and provided so much grief to so many, finally fizzled away like the effervescence of champagne that stayed open too long. It faded into the night quietly as if it was embarrassed for what it served up in what was to be a grand year for…

my holiday wish …

Every year presents its challenges and 2020 will go down in history as one of the most challenging in modern times.  Covid-19 changed our lives whether we agreed to it or not. Directly or indirectly, we felt its impact. From wearing masks to social distancing, to travel bans, to not being able to visit loved ones in hospitals, it tore at the fabric of who we are as humans. We experienced loss on…

I’m listening …

It was a rushing of emotions. Deep, waves moving through me getting stronger almost to the point of convulsing.  I was sitting there listening to music and it was as if every song was a somber reminder … a painful reminder of where I am and the void that to this day could not be filled or ever will be.

With every song, a memory latched on to it, and tears flowed.  The beauty of what is and always…

At a very young age, I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up – a priest.  Funny, right? I saw myself in front of people in a church speaking from a podium and preaching.  Then I also realized how much I loved being around girls and of course that was not going to work in my decided vocation. So, I had to rethink, and of course, I never did see it clearly for a very long time.

I married at a…

Foreigner said it best with their hit single, “I Want to Know What Love Is”.  It has alluded us as a human species and it seems we all seek it even when it seemingly stands right before us. I don’t know if at my age I have figured it out. It’s all based on a feeling.  Emotions mixed with melancholy, and a soulful deep-seated feeling of contentment and sadness all at the same time. It’s regretting…

About two months ago I stopped writing in my daily journal.  I would look at it each day and not pick it up.  My last entry was February 28, a couple of weeks before the whole COVID-19 shutdown started.  I wasn’t sure at the time, but the feeling I had was that I was just tired.  I was tired of penning my thoughts on paper.  I was tired of telling God how grateful I was and listing out pages of…

I am tired of listening … no matter where I turn for some accurate information it seems the media is more interested in sensationalizing and dramatizing what is going on with COVID-19.  I’ve heard so many conflicting stories, from not enough hospital beds and respirators to handle the overflow of victims to there are empty hospitals waiting and nothing happens.

Then there is this fear instilled…

this too shall pass … or will it?

Image of a moth boll magnified 1 million times (again, no clue here) But it looks pretty.

We have now lived through what has been touted as unprecedented times. The global population has been asked to lock themselves indoors.  Some areas are controlled more than others but for the most part, the message is the same; Stay indoors!  Social Distancing is the new term and norm.

Facial masks are no…