FG's Shiny Hoard!

Do you remember that scene where Patrick Bateman stabs a homeless man and then stomps his puppy to death? Or when he gets into a shootout with the police after killing two men? How about the scene where he drops a chainsaw down a stairs' chute and impales a woman with it?

But no, the scene that stays in everyone's memory is the one with the business cards. You guys are so boring.

Also maybe it's just me, but it's very funny how Christian Bale beats Jared Leto to death with an axe. Batman didn't fuck around when killing the Joker on this one.

I would be fair with any other movie, but this one wasn't salvageable from a purely conceptual point of view. Not even the most cutting edge visual effects in the world could've made this movie work, you'd need a complete re-write.

It's shameful they took one of Ray Bradbury's best tales and bastardized it in such a ludicrous and despicable manner, a pile of cinematic excrement that insults the audience's intelligence by merely existing.

You'd think I'm about to do some twist on ya and recommend it in the end, but no. Don't bother. It's not even "Ha-ha funny" bad. It's bland and boring bad. It's uncharismatic bad. It's like being stuck in a room with the most boring person in the world as they tell you all about their favorite tones of white noise.

Don't bother. Skip it. Movie bad. I'm done.

Commission for FinalGamerJames.

"There's a buncha folks down there, stuck in a bad place who can't do anything...and they need their Ultraman."

GOH MORIGEKI An ordinary construction worker stumbles on a terrible secret, that soon drags him into the dark underworld of Tokyo.

As a child, he dreamed of becoming like his favourite hero, but will that naive hope be enough to keep him alive?

· - · -  · - · - · - · - · - · - · - · - ·

This one was slightly difficult to work on. I tried to give it a fish-eye lens kind of effect, but ended up not warping it enough, so the result for the background is a little wonky.

Posing this one was fun though. You can't go wrong with Power Rangers poses.

Also yes, I totally snuck in a Family Guy pose in there. Don't ask why I gave him a Star Trek belt buckle.

Please, let me know what you think of it in the comments. I appreciate every single one I receive.

You can check the Making Of post right here.

Check out Movie Slate's Patreon! It's a Tip Jar Patreon.

The doors are shut, there's no way you can escape.

So, ok.

Point number one: You can't take Godzilla down using missiles, in no way, shape or form can he be defeated with just missiles. It's moronic and idiotic.

Point number two: Do you have any idea how idiotic it is to have so many helicopters fly around Manhattan? The buffeting and centrifuge forces alone will cause most of those helicopters to crash onto each other.

Point number three: The characters are deeply annoying and unlikeable. At least give me someone to root for that's not Godzilla.

Point number four:-

Jamesy: No. Nope. Stop that.

Movie: Wait, what? Why!?

Jamesy: This isn't YouTube, Movie. You can't make a three hour long rant disguised an an essay just because you feel like it.

Movie: Did you know Roland Emmerich wants to remake Stargate?

Jamesy:...go on, I'll give you a hand with the editing.

Movie: Thank you. Point number four...

I was shocked to find out it did so well, and quite honestly it makes me wonder about the overall state of the world's sanity at this point.

Have we gotten so detached and so jaded that we'd rather watch a movie comprised entirely of close ups of toys and darkly lit corridors with a repetitive grainy filter all over it?

Or are we celebrating sensory deprivation tanks disguised as movies now?

Don't get me wrong, I like to support low budget movies, but movies sometimes need a structure, and when lacking a structure they need some sort of hook to keep you engaged. This has none of those!

So yeah, I'm sorry, I couldn't get into it, I don't think I can recommend it because I keep falling asleep thirty minutes into it. It doesn't work as a movie, but as a sleep aid it's unmatched.

Nightmare Kart is a "legally distinct" Bloodborne inspired kart racing game with 21 racers, 13 karts, 15 tracks, boss battles and a full narrative-driven single-player campaign!

Read More & Play The Full Game, Free (Windows)

Related

Sometimes I wonder, what motivates someone to send an ask to this blog?

It's a matter of time and ideas, and you guys are always wonderful when coming up with them.

Then other times we get asks that make me wonder if the fabric of reality has finally torn itself apart and we've become self-aware. Asks like this one, for example.

...technically I'm not a horse, now that I think about it. I'm a tiny horse, not big enough to be a full horse. Neigh.

She neighs.